Is Your Life in a Rut?

When you woke up this morning, did you jump out of bed with excitement and anticipation, or with a groan and want to hide your head under the pillow? Most of us wake up somewhere between the two and our life is pretty much the same routine day in and day out. 

 

For many people, that is enough for them and they don’t want anything to come into their life that might affect the status quo. For others though, there is a desire to see things change, but there is a fear associated with change that seems to hold them back. Which of these best describes where you are at the moment? If you are in a place of wanting change, but not sure how to affect it, read on. This may be just what you needed to help you make the changes you want to make to give your life a new direction. 

 

Many of the famous names we read of in newspapers and magazines, had a past that was very different from the one they have today. William Shatner for example, famous for his role as Captain Kirk in Star Trek and now of countless other TV shows, began his adult life over 50 years ago, studying commerce at a Canadian University. He had always had an interest in acting and his break came in 1951 with some early films, but of course it was the 1966 role of Kirk in Star Trek, which launched him to stardom.

 

Where do you see yourself being in 10 year’s time? Do you have a life plan and goals to achieve? Sit down with your partner if you have one and decide to make some life goals today. Dream together and then choose one or two of your dreams to develop into goals. If you don’t have a partner, complete this personal inventory yourself. Create measurable goals so you can follow your progress. Don’t just write down what you will do, but create plans to help you achieve your goal. 

 

As you develop your dreams into goals, you will start making life choices that complement and help you achieve your goals. Life can take on a new sense of excitement and fulfillment as you accomplish another step towards your goals. Create direction for your life and see how quickly you move out of the rut and into a very satisfying life journey. 

 

The Power of Imagining Yourself Achieving Your Goals

How confident do you feel today? Probably like most people, you are feeling a little less self-confident about at least one thing in your life. That is perfectly normal, especially if our life experiences are taking us a little out of our comfort zone. The problem arises when low self-esteem and feelings of low self worth are something we carry around with us all the time. 

 

Whether we are experiencing a temporary feeling of lack of self-confidence, or one we face every day, there are some steps we can take to turn around low self-confidence into a belief that they can be successful in our endeavors.

 

1.  Imagine Yourself Achieving Your Goals

 

The first step is to imagine yourself achieving whatever it is you are feeling less than self-confident about. If we can begin to imagine ourselves achieving our goals, we are well on the way to achieving them. 

 

Articulating our goals, by either writing them down or telling them to a friend and then constantly reaffirming ourselves having achieved those goals, is essential to achieving them. 

 

2.  Act as if You Have Achieved Your Goal

 

To develop self-confidence, you must start to put action into your imagination. Once you have imagined yourself achieving you must begin to act as if you are achieving your goals, even if on the inside you still feel far from self-confident. 

 

People who want to feel more confident in public speaking must practice it or they cannot achieve it. This may be as simple as attending a group meeting with a list of pre thought about questions to help you overcome your fear of initiating conversations with strangers. To achieve self-confidence in talking to strangers, you must practice talking to them. 

 

3.  Practice Your Achievements 

 

Keep practicing until you feel self-confident and begin to enjoy what you previously feared. It’s important you praise yourself for achieving your goals. Even if others also praise your efforts, it’s what you tell yourself about your achievements, which could mean the difference between becoming self-confident and continuing to struggle with low self-esteem. 

 

Perhaps you are wondering if this talk of self-confidence and self-worth is something that is beneficial and if it is appropriate look act as if you are self-confident. In his book, “How to Win Friends and Influence People” Dale Carnegie wrote in the chapter on “How to Spur People onto Success,” the importance of “Praise the slightest improvement and praise every improvement… Be lavish in Praise.” Very few people give this gift to us, so we must learn to give it to ourselves. 

What Language Do You Speak?

We live in a time of ever-increasing uncertainty and anxiety levels are on the increase. Adults and children alike are experiencing a sense of bewilderment as they try to balance the many things happening in their personal lives and in a world that is experiencing turmoil and disaster on unprecedented levels. 

 

In such a world, it is easy to slip into a language of negativity, yet it doesn’t need to be this way. We can learn to speak the language of optimism and help those around to learn it too. When you learn the language of optimism, you are learning to experience life by embracing and acknowledging the things that go right and shrugging your shoulders, and moving on from the things that go wrong. 

 

Teaching this essential skill to our children is extremely important for all parents, teachers and caregivers to understand and appreciate. As we practice recognizing our own achievements and acknowledging them in the home, we are role modeling to our children the importance of doing their best and then having the pleasure of others and ourselves showing appreciation for the things achieved. A pessimistic perspective however would look at the situation surrounding the achievements and focus attention on them, rather than on the people attaining them. 

 

When a child (or an adult) leans to speak with optimism, they are able to take failure and turn it into potential for growth. Instead of seeing failure pessimistically and dwelling in grief on the cause of the failure, the optimistic person can focus on the failure being a learning curve and will use the opportunity to turn this failure into an opportunity to learn new skills or to develop a new understanding of the way things work. 

 

The optimistic thinker is able to see the problem as a temporary setback, it doesn’t affect their self-worth or self-confidence and they keep trying until they achieve their goals. The pessimistic approach would see this problem as more of a permanent problem Over time, as all problems become “bad or big”, the person eventually begins to see them all in a pessimistic way, gradually losing all sense of self-esteem and self-wealth.

 

Children learn from their parents. They often mimic their parent’s behavior. As you teach your children to become successful and well educated, they will display optimism in their own lives. They will learn to see life from the perspective of self-worth and self-esteem and even if this over exaggerated, it gives them the hidden courage to say" no" to peer pressure.

Establishing Online Dating Relationships: Safety First

Online dating can be fun. But don’t neglect safety and common sense when you try to hook up with a mate. At minimum, take caution in the following areas.

 

Protect Your Computer 

 

Take care of your equipment and systems before you head out into the Internet realm. You need to have a firewall and anti-virus protection for your email and for when you search websites and interact online. At the bare minimum, you may want these two solutions that are offered at no charge to home computer users (i.e. not for commercial use):

 

Free Firewall Download: ZoneAlarm www.zonelabs.com 

Free Anti-Virus Download: AVG Anti-Virus www.grisoft.com 

 

Protect Yourself

 

Take care of yourself, too, by choosing appropriate dating sites. Seek and choose a reputable online dating service. How? Begin by asking around with friends, neighbors, co-workers and others you may know who have tried online dating, and see which places they recommend. In addition, search “online dating services” and keep a notebook of their URLs or website links, the fees, rules and regulations, complete contact information of each and any other useful information that spikes your interest. Then compare each place. Try only those places where you feel safe. Avoid the others.

 

So, take care. Arm your computer - and yourself- with the correct tools and knowledge!

 

Growing Online Dating Relationships

Just like regular real-world relationships, online relationships need tending, to grow over time. Here are some quick growing tips.

 

Take time and make time. Does your online date get in touch with you regularly? Do you do the same? Neglecting virtual meetings can be considered abuse or neglect, so treat each other’s time with respect. If it’s lacking, might mean time to move on.

 

Communication needs to “feel” right for both of you. If one of you is too pushy about meeting, for instance, that can give off bad vibes. So don’t rush. Take time to learn more about each other and develop trust.

 

Respect each other’s privacy. Don’t share personal email addresses or digital photos online, for example, if your online date sent you the information in confidence. 

 

Share special online and offline fun times. Online - send greeting cards, links to favorite places to upload digital photos of your favorite pet, download music and video clips, post on favorite forums of interest. Offline- if you’re exchanging addresses or post office boxes, send print greeting cards and postcards, small items from your area (like a key chain with your state bird).

 

Tend to your online relationship. Water it with care and over time it can sprout and grow.

More Popular Online Dating Activities

A couple of popular online activities are sharing recipes and bidding at auctions. And both of these easily fit well into online dating opportunities, one of the most popular online activities for singles today. 

 

To help many dates get better acquainted online, here’s what potential cyber-dates do. 

 

Sharing Recipes - People get tired talking about the weather. So a popular subject to turn to is food. Sharing favorite foods and recipes helps break the ice and even forms friendships over culinary skills - or lack of - and tastes. Search your favorite search engine for “free recipes” to share. Take photos of your culinary creations and share them with your date, too. 

 

Bidding at Auctions - Ebay auctions sell nearly anything and everything! So surf around and enter searches like the dates you were in middle school. Share cool memorabilia photos of old games and toys from when you were a child or when your parents or grandparents were little; The Dating Game, Oscar Mayer wiener whistles, The Partridge Family Album, Bobby Sherman’s Album, 45’s and more. 

 

Online dating can be an educational and fun experience. So, learn more about each other and have fun while you’re at it. Take a cyber-stroll down memory lane together and see what’s cookin’.

Popular Online Dating Activities

All types of everyday activities are growing in popularity online these days like sharing photos and greeting cards. In fact, both of these even go hand in hand with online dating opportunities, one of the most popular online activities for singles today. 

 

Before actually meeting in person, many dates get acquainted online first. Here’s how. 

 

Photos - As a wonderful keepsake of your budding romance, create an online photo album for your new cyber-mate. Include digital photos of favorite outdoor scenes, pets, flowers, cars, silly moments, your computer corner or laptop, etc. Then you’ll even have more to discuss during online dates via emails and chat rooms. Search for “photo albums” to find places that store your photos.

 

Greeting Cards - Regardless of where the person lives, you can mail a greeting card. If privacy and security is an issue, check into renting an inexpensive P.O. Box (check the Yellow Pages). You do not have to be an artist to make something homemade and special for the new friend in your life. Even making a special, personalized greeting card would be appreciated and show your date that you care enough to take the time needed to make something by hand. Search your favorite search engine for online greeting cards to send, too. They range from free to low cost and can be sent in a click.

 

So, get online and get active! No need to risk meeting in person until you get more familiar with each other online first. So take the online plunge!

 

Popular Online Dating Activities For Men

Heads up, gents. Online dating can open up new doors of opportunities with a little help from real world dating tips that work. Spice up your matchmaking with some of these ideas.

 

Looks Count 

 

Comment on how attractive she is. Yes, women do want to know they are pretty, even if they’re online and you can’t see them and have no idea. So, in your communications, ask questions that would help you know, but in an unobtrusive way like - how do you wear your hair? And then say how attractive that must look.

 

Kindness Counts 

 

Point out nice things or the lemonade in life - nice things the other person has mentioned, nice acts the person has done, good things on the news latterly, etc. Be upbeat, and forget those lemons in life. Even in email a person can shout, by using all capital letters. So, show manners and kindness. Keep swearing, unkind remarks, prejudice, etc. out of your communications. 

 

So, add some helpful real-world tips that do work (a lot of the time anyway) into your online dating equations. And come up on the positive side of romance - and enjoy more lemonade! 

 

Meditating for Self-Discovery

Meditating can be a good way of tapping in to the subconscious to understand the self. Consider practicing meditation if you want to discover yourself. It helps you answer questions related to life. Meditation is important in making or deciding the path in which your life should take. You should not be discouraged if you do not seem to get the right answers keep on practicing meditation and in the end you will get to discover yourself. When you are meditating the brain seems to go a state of theta state. When you are in this state you encounter very minimal interference from the conscious bit of the mind and thus you successfully contact the subconscious bit of the mind. 

 

The first step towards self-discovery, is to begin by sitting in a place that is very comfortable and a room that has very minimum or utmost no disturbance at all. Consider lighting a few candles so that you have minimal light. Have a Nag Champa as this will help you have a very comfortable environment.

 

Take in to account the state of your breath. You should have a deep breath that comes from the diaphragm. You should consider the breath as it comes or as it is entering and leaving the nose. Continue paying attention to your breath if you have the intention of proper relaxation. If you there’s a specific question that you want to answer, consider raising this question from the start of the meditation process. If you want to shift careers consider posing this question right from the beginning. 

 

As you meditate your mind becomes engrossed in thoughts. Pay attention as the thoughts come and as they go. If there’s a thought that keeps on coming for long consider digging deeper in to that particular thought. When you will get an answer, you will know because you will have a feeling that this is right. There’ a powerful sense that will make you feels that indeed this is the right answer. If you find that you are becoming bored and that you are losing track, bring your breath back and be patient.

 

It is important to become open with your day to day lives. Some answers may come at some other days. Others may be when you are driving. Keep in mind that you should not force anything. Do not force the answers but have a receptive and open mind. This will help you discover yourself better.