Age Better By Nurturing Key Relationships

One of the best things you can do for yourself to ensure that you age more gracefully is to nurture all the key relationships in your life. By taking good care of these relationships, you can give yourself an essential pillar of support as you ease into the later years of your life.

 

How can well-nurtured relationships help you age better?

 

Well-nurtured relationships can help you age better in a few key ways:

 

1. They establish a support system within your life.

 

By nurturing key relationships, you ensure that you are building a strong support system you can call upon whenever you need it. By putting in the time, energy, and effort to build these relationships, you make them stronger and stronger. In your later years, knowing these people will be there for you can make aging feel less intimidating.

 

2. They help you see other people’s experiences with aging more closely. 

 

Close relationships with others give you intimate glimpses into their lives–and this means you will likely see some of your close friends and family go through their own aging experiences, too. This can help you feel better about your own experience by having others you can relate with on a close, personal level. 

 

3. They keep you socially active and engaged.

 

Being socially active is a great way to age better. Having friends and family to spend time with helps you remain socially active and engaged, which can help you age a lot better than you would if you were alone. 

 

What are some methods for nurturing the key relationships in your life?

 

Struggling to nurture the key relationships in your life? Consider implementing these strategies to make it easier:

 

1. Be supportive. 

 

Show up and support the people in your lives–especially when they need it most. Make an effort to be present and helpful whenever you can. Doing so will not only help them, but also strengthen your relationship. 

 

2. Be more empathetic.

 

Practice putting yourself into another person’s shoes, especially when they are experiencing a difficult time. Doing so will make it easier to understand their feelings so you can relate to them easier and strengthen your relationship.

 

3. Honor your time together.

 

When you have an opportunity to spend time with the people you love, take it. Spending good, quality time together is an essential way to nurture relationships. Time together builds trust, brings new memories, and strengthens your bond with them.

 

4. Keep the lines of communication open. 

 

Communication is a key component of any successful relationship. Make sure you keep the lines of communication open and flowing between you and the other important people in your life. Good, strong communication with each other leaves little room for misunderstandings and helps build a sense of trust.

 

5. Be appreciative and express gratitude.

 

Make sure you are telling the people who matter most to you how important they are. Take opportunities to be appreciative of your relationships and show other people plenty of gratitude. When other people know you appreciate them, it helps strengthen your mutual bond. 

 

6. Be patient during tough times.

 

No relationships are perfect. All people will experience disagreements, conflicts, and issues with one another–it’s a perfectly normal and natural part of being in any sort of relationship with another person, even someone you really love and trust. During these “low” periods, be patient. Remember that it is normal to go through rough patches and be patient with yourself and the other person. You can work through your hard times and emerge on the other side of disagreements in a healthy way.

 

The Power of No: Setting Boundaries for a Healthier You

“No is a complete sentence.”- Annie Lamott

Many of us people pleasers find it difficult to say no and establish boundaries. This often leads to us over-extending ourselves to others and feeling resentful when our boundaries are constantly crossed. But how can we expect others to respect our boundaries when we aren’t even communicating properly and saying no?

Learning how to say ‘no’ and set firm yet healthy boundaries is the key to mental peace and maintaining healthy relationships with others. Having loose boundaries and not being able to say no often leads to us feeling overwhelmed and burnt out. 

Understandably, we all want to be liked by others, but people-pleasing is not the way to go. It just allows others to walk all over us continuously. 

The Importance of Setting Boundaries

While it can be challenging to set boundaries with difficult people, it is important and the key to forming healthy relationships and taking care of your well-being. Saying no to things that do not serve you or you simply do not have the time for can help you focus on yourself and your priorities. It can enable you to create a balance in all aspects of your life. 

For example, if your boss asks you to come in and work on the weekends or expects you to work overtime late at night, it is important to set firm boundaries with your work, learn to say no respectfully, and create a work-life balance for your well-being. This helps you avoid any undue stress and helps you focus on other things in your life that might give you purpose or energize you like your family or hobbies. 

Healthy boundaries can free you from unrealistic expectations from others and the resentments that come with them. They can help you avoid conflicts in relationships. Setting healthy boundaries with your partner, friends, kids, or any other relationship you may have in your life can allow you to nurture these relationships, conserve energy, and save you from a lot of drama and toxicity. 

How to Set and Maintain Healthy Boundaries 

1. Find Your ‘Why’

 

Reflect on the reason you want to set a boundary. Perhaps something in your relationship or friendship is making you resentful and uncomfortable and you want to set a boundary with your friend to preserve your mental and emotional well-being. 

Start small. 

Start slowly and set a few boundaries initially and build them up slowly. Don’t go to an extreme level and set up rigid and unhealthy boundaries that you will not be able to maintain in the long run. Go at your own comfortable pace and make changes as needed. 

2. Set Boundaries Early On

Consider setting boundaries early on in a relationship as it can be hard to start putting boundaries around pre-existing relationships. For example, you could set boundaries early on with in-laws when you get engaged or married. This way you set expectations to be a certain way from the beginning avoiding any confusion or hurt in relationships. 

3. Stay Firm and Consistent

When setting boundaries, it is important to not let them slide as it will make people not take you seriously and just add to the confusion. Staying firm can help reinforce your boundaries. 

4. Communicate When Your Boundaries are Crossed

Confidently communicate when someone disrespects and crosses your boundaries continuously. You can communicate assertively and effectively without sounding aggressive or confrontational and still assert your boundaries. 

For example, if someone keeps calling you late at night repeatedly you could say something like, “I can see you want to get a hold of me, but the best thing would be to text me, and I will get back to you when I have the time in the morning.” This assertively highlights their behavior and sets and maintains your boundaries.

Setting boundaries and saying no to things that do not serve you can be an empowering experience and help you maintain great relationships. While setting your boundaries, it is also important to recognize the boundaries of other people and respect them just as you would expect them to respect yours. 

Try not to violate the boundaries of other people as it can cause resentment and contempt to build them which leads to toxicity in relationships and people withdrawing from others who may cross their boundaries. 

It is possible to set boundaries without being aggressive, confrontational, or upsetting people. Don’t feel guilty about setting boundaries and take it as an act of self-care and something crucial to your overall well-being. 

If You Want More Meaningful Relationships, Schedule Them

Do you have a day planner? Do you have a calendar or schedule where you plan out your activities? A lot of people plan their careers. They have a virtual or physical planner where they keep track of their work commitments. They take their job seriously and know that if they schedule their professional life, they can be more successful than if they take it as it comes.

 

Unfortunately, many people don't do that with their personal lives.

 

That's too bad. We've known for a long time that the human brain loves to be given marching orders. It was designed to respond favorably to order and habitual behavior. If you want deeper connections, you should schedule the experiences that build and maintain them.

 

Who Do You Want a More Meaningful Relationship With?

 

It's been proven that deep relationships make you less likely to develop disease or become sick. Your mind, body, and emotions benefit. The more people you truly understand on a deep level and connect with in a meaningful way, the happier and healthier you will be.

 

This means that when you connect with someone in a big way, you get a significant boost to your well-being. Who wouldn't like that in their lives? To experience all these wonderful benefits of a healthy social life, ask yourself who you can connect with on a deeper level.

 

Once you have that person in mind, sit down and ask yourself some questions. What do they like to do? What values are important to them? Do they like traveling or knitting, or reading? What vices do they have that they wish they could defeat? What are their big goals?

 

If you don't know the answers to these questions, or at least have some general idea of their response, what can you do to discover those answers? In many cases, it doesn't make sense to come out and ask big questions like this. You can spend more time with that person in experiences and activities they enjoy. This helps you indirectly learn that information.

 

Schedule time for those activities. Talk a lot, and listen. Remember your ultimate goal, to get to know the person better. Be flexible and understand that a deep connection might mean a relationship with someone that's unlike you in many ways. Opposites often attract. 

 

Keep these things in mind and schedule the time and emotional energy required to develop a deep and meaningful relationship. Offer a time and environment that's comfortable to them, be yourself, and do this regularly to form a strong, healthy connection.

5 Ways to Make a Meaningful Connection with Just about Anyone

It's possible to meaningfully connect with people if you do certain things. This can help you connect with a customer, a neighbor, a coworker, or somebody you want a deeper relationship with. It guarantees effective communication, and both parties are interested in each other somehow.

 

This can help you advance in your career. It makes getting along with your neighbors so much easier. Suddenly your children start doing their chores without you asking them. If you want to connect with someone in a way that makes the relationship more beneficial for both of you, do these five things.

 

1. Ask Their Opinion

 

People love giving their opinion. Ask them what they think. Talk about a hot topic or something that's currently in the news. Avoid religion and politics, and be careful when talking about sports.

 

People remember you when you ask their thoughts on a subject. It shows you value their opinion. Think about what they say. If you can find some points where you agree with them, tell them, you understand their opinion and why. If you differ from them, nod your head and say you can see how they came to that conclusion. Then change the subject.

 

2. Use Their Name, but Don't Overdo It

 

It is said that the sweetest sound to any person is that person's name. If you want to kill a relationship before you get started, forget someone's name. One proven practice for remembering someone's name is to repeat it immediately after you hear it and look the person in the face.

 

Another way to remember someone's name is to link one of their characteristics in your memory. If you meet Jim and he loves fishing, his name becomes Jim Fishing or Fishing Jim in your mind. Use their name frequently in conversations, but don't overdo it, or you'll sound disingenuous.

 

3. Notice Them

 

What are they wearing? Do they have a topic they talk about frequently? Do they mention their children often? Developing a deep connection with someone means really caring about who they are. You've got to notice them. After you recognize certain characteristics or tendencies about someone, you want to do this.

 

4. Reconnect

 

Don't wait for fate to put you two together again. It doesn't matter who you're trying to connect with. Go out of your way to reconnect with them frequently. They'll see that you really do care about the relationship.

 

5. Listen and Remember

 

If you do all the talking, how do you get to know someone? Listen, truly listen, when they talk. Then remember what they say and bring it up in conversation later. This shows that you're making an effort to get to know them.

 

Forming more meaningful connections is possible. You first have to care about the viewpoints and opinions of the other person. Then use these tips to connect on more than the surface level.

Give Yourself Permission For Self-Care

The practice of self-care means taking care of your physical and mental health and being aware that you must take care of yourself as the highest priority. Self-care increases stamina, reduces stress, and decreases the risk of illness, so we must treat ourselves as number one to thrive and be strong.

 

Still, we may think putting ourselves first is selfish or egotistical. Others are challenged with low self-esteem, making them feel like they don’t deserve to be first. Some people think they must do everything for everybody and will put aside their goals to assist others. These scenarios impact our self-esteem, keep us from pursuing our goals, and foster self-care neglect.

 

We must understand that if we don’t care for ourselves, we won’t be able to help anyone else, we may feel stressed, and our health suffers. When our mental or physical health is poor, we lose motivation and energy, and our quality-of-life decreases.

 

How can we treat ourselves compassionately and make self-care a part of our daily routine? 

 

About Self-Care

 

The World Health Organization explains that self-care is “the ability of individuals, families, and communities to promote health, prevent disease, maintain health, and cope with illness and disability with or without the support of a health worker.”

 

The National Library of Medicine published a study on the role of self-care related to stress and mental well-being during the COVID-19 pandemic. A tool, the Self-Care Activities Screening Scale (SASS-14), was used to evaluate the study participants. Four main areas were considered:

 

• Health consciousness

• Nutrition and physical activity

• Sleep quality

• Interpersonal and intrapersonal coping strategies

 

The result of the study is that self-care significantly improves our well-being. However, the higher a person’s perceived stress level, the more challenging it is to practice self-care.

 

Self-Care Basics

 

Reduction of perceived stress is essential for self-care. The following are basic strategies to help you cope with stress and lead you to a healthy lifestyle.

 

Embrace Healthy Foods: Nutritious meals can improve your energy and brain power. Healthy foods include fruits, vegetables, whole grains, lean meats, fish and seafood, nuts and seeds, beans, low-fat dairy products, and unsaturated oils, such as olive oil. Avoid fried foods, salt, sugar, fast foods, cakes and pies, and too much caffeine. 

 

Sleep Well: The Sleep Health Foundation recommends that adults aged 18-64 sleep 7 - 9 hours and adults over 64 sleep 7 – 8 hours nightly. Avoid actions that might keep you awake at night, such as caffeine in the afternoon, using electronics before bedtime, and taking long naps during the day. You can foster a good night’s sleep by exercising during the day, going to sleep and waking up at the same time daily, and ensuring that your bedroom is quiet. 

 

Every Workout Counts: Exercise helps to relieve stress and make you stronger mentally and physically. Choose an activity that you enjoy, such as a brisk walk, and strive to exercise at least 30 minutes daily.

 

Stay Connected: Among many benefits, having good friends can relieve stress and promote happiness. The Mayo Clinic reports that friends help you cope with traumas, improve self-confidence, and reduce your risk of health problems.

 

Time Management and Boundaries: The night before, create a to-do list for the next day and prioritize each item. This “roadmap” for the day will help you focus on the tasks that must be completed. Work through your goals and tasks in priority order. Also, consider setting boundaries to prevent interruptions to your plan. For example, if you block out 3 hours to focus on a task, let those who need to know that you aren’t available during that time. 

 

Conclusion

Taking care of yourself is essential to reduce stress and reap the benefits of good health and happiness. In our busy lives, we may feel we don’t have time for self-care, thus impacting our health and energy and limiting our capacity to help others. Remember that you are not being selfish by treating yourself as number one and setting boundaries is not rude. These are necessary concepts to help you cope with stress and boost your well-being.

 

References

 

https://www.who.int/health-topics/self-care#tab=tab_1

 

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC8678542/

 

https://www.sleephealthfoundation.org.au/sleep-topics/how-much-sleep-do-you-really-need

 

https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/adult-health/in-depth/friendships/art-20044860

 

10 Thoughtful Ways To Show Others They Matter To You

There is something special about feeling needed by friends and family or just being of importance to someone. These feelings help you to build your self-confidence and fortify your happiness. 

 

They can lead you to the understanding of where you fit in “the big picture,” giving your life meaning. You can show others how to feel this way, as well, by showing them that they matter to you. 

 

Here are 10 thoughtful ways you can show others that they truly matter to you:

 

Give them a hug. 

 

Ah, hugs, those simple embraces may be all someone needs to feel healing power and your appreciation for them. Hugging also creates a connection between you and others and a sense of safety, important in any stage of your life. 

 

Actively listen with your whole body, not just your ears. 

 

Pay attention to your body language when you are listening to someone close, to show them that how they feel is important to you. When you speak face to face, maintain eye contact. If the topic is positive or light, a smile is helpful, too. 

Celebrate their successes with them. 

 

When you acknowledge someone’s accomplishments, it will boost their sense of self-esteem, and allow them to feel more important. When a friend achieves something, they have worked diligently for, celebrate it with them and recognize their efforts. Celebrating others’ successes also creates a healthy, positive environment that is beneficial to all involved. 

 

Make the time for private conversations with just the two of you. 

 

Making time in your day for one-on-one interactions truly shows that they matter to you. You dedicate them individualized attention, allowing them to understand they are a priority in your eyes. 

 

These private one-on-ones could include:

 

• Going for a walk in nature together

• Scheduling a coffee or dinner together

• Just having a private, uninterrupted conversation 

 

Focused time like this will allow you to form deeper connections. It also makes the other person feel important, valued, and respected. 

 

Let them know that you believe in them. 

 

When you believe in other people, encourage them to carry that belief themselves. This helps them to envision future successes, stretch their thinking and throw open the door to their own potential. Positive words used will infect others with enthusiasm and energy. Avoid cynical words, which suck their energy and plague them with less belief in themselves.

 

Offer them hope. 

 

At each moment of every day, you can either make the world better or worse. Your thoughts spread out and are contagious, so you want them to be positive. You have it in you to help lift others up or bring them down. Interactions with others should provide a spark of hope and encouragement, for a better day or possibly a better life. 

 

Send them motivational quotes.

 

Passing on words of motivation can refresh others’ perspectives on their situations. Each person will interpret experiences and information in their own way. Sending positive, encouraging quotes helps to establish positivity and connectedness. 

 

Respect their space when they need it.

 

Respect others’ need for space when it occurs. If someone you know and feel close to is going through a trying life event or a very busy time, maintaining healthy boundaries can let them know that their feelings are important to you. 

 

Let them know what you have learned from them.

 

When you tell your family, friends, or co-workers what you have learned from them, it validates them. This could include skills like:

 

• Active listening

• Cooking

• Being a true friend

 

Letting people know what they have taught us tells them that we have heard them, and we place importance on what they say. 

 

Send them snail mail cards or letters.

 

With everything being sent electronically today, sending your friends snail mail letters or cards can show them your appreciation and love in what is now a rather unique way. You can send greeting cards that are blank inside and fill them with your own words or send a handmade postcard or everyday card. It only takes a few words to let people know that they matter to you. 

 

Conclusion

 

There’s no time like now to show others that they matter to you. Even though you may be in touch with them frequently through email, etc., they will appreciate you reminding them that you are there for them physically, as well. Take a little time and show others just how much they mean to you.