6 Reasons why Finding Your Purpose Matters

At first glance, it might not seem important to live your life with purpose. After all, so long as you get through the day and are reasonably happy or content, it's all good, right? Not really. Without purpose you're missing out. 

 

What happens when you try to live your life without purpose? 

 

Purpose Gives Drive

 

Purpose gets us going and makes us eager to start the day. Without purpose, you might feel your day is aimless to the point where there's no reason to try setting goals. Left unchecked, this can affect mood and even lead to depression. It's no wonder purpose is one of the most important things to drive us forward.

 

Purpose Builds Relationships

 

Purpose is one of those things which really bring people together. Having common interests and goals creates strong bonds. Without purpose, you might find it harder to connect to others, especially on a deeper level. 

 

Purpose Gives Direction

 

Decisions can seem difficult sometimes when you have no purpose. When you are not working toward a goal or interest, it's easy to waver or let others lead the way. But purpose means you weigh decisions against what's important to you, meaning you honor yourself. More important, you keep to your own set of values every time you're faced with a choice.

 

Purpose Gives Value

 

Without purpose, you might wonder whether you're making a difference. In contrast, purpose tells you you're making a difference and adding something to the world with every action that honors this purpose.

 

Purpose Reduces the Need to Keep Up with Others

 

If you worry about what others are accomplishing, it's probably because you're unsure of your own purpose. With purpose, it becomes less important what those around you are doing because you're more interested in your own personal journey.

 

Purpose Reduces Stress

 

We experience stress most when things around us feel out of control. With purpose, you know your direction and have a pretty solid idea of what you need to do to get where you want to go. Even more important is how purpose helps you get back on track if you're sidelined for a crisis, giving you firm direction and control when things around you feel like they're out of your hands. This all reduces stress and helps you deal with challenges calmly and reasonably.

 

With purpose, your life changes for the better. It's no wonder taking the time to figure out what you're all about is crucial to a healthy and happy life. Take the time for yourself. You won't regret it.

 

How Avoidance Actually Creates More Stress

When you have an especially difficult or stressful task on your plate, it can be very tempting to avoid completing said task. Or if you don’t like to think about a subject because of an experience, it can seem easier to just not think about that topic. Both of these situations are known as avoidance, and though it may be tempting to engage in this behavior, it causes more stress than it relieves. 

 

You Won’t Stop Thinking About It

 

If you’ve ever experienced trauma, it can be tempting to avoid all thoughts of things that may remind you of the trauma you experienced. Although this may be less painful in the short run, the truth is, long term, this will stress you out more because the thoughts of your trauma will always return until you genuinely learn to deal with them rather than avoid them. The same holds for certain physical tasks. You may put them off because you don’t want to think about them, but this will only stress you out more because you will have to keep thinking about the task instead of simply completing it now.

 

You’ll Run Out Of Time

 

When you put off a task, you may momentarily relieve your stress by telling yourself you will complete the task later. But this is worse than doing the job now because later you will experience more pressure as you are faced with a fast-approaching deadline. This is especially true if you haven’t left yourself enough time to complete the task and have to rush at the last minute. 

 

Avoidance Creates Conflict

 

Maybe a coworker is waiting for you to complete your work so they can get started on theirs. And if you didn’t leave yourself enough time before the deadline, you may cause them to be late on meeting their deadline as well. This can cause a conflict between you as your coworker may be upset that you made them late. And when you experience conflict in your relationships, this only adds to your overall stress level rather than lowering it.

 

Although it can be extremely tempting to avoid certain tasks or put them off, this is a flawed approach as it will only cause you more stress in the long run. This is because avoidance doesn’t solve any problems. Instead, it just creates conflict, which leads to increased stress in the future.

 

If You Want Less Stress and Anxiety, Learn to Empathize More

Stress is a killer. You might hear someone say, "The stress at my job is killing me!" They could be overstating the situation. In many cases though, stress can quite literally kill you.

 

Chronic stress is related to the six leading causes of death. It's believed that more than 75% of all trips to the emergency room or a doctor are stress-related. So the next time a friend tells you stress is killing him, you might want to take that statement seriously.

 

Ask anyone you know and they'll tell you of a stressful situation they experienced recently. This is an unfortunately common occurrence. You might have too much stress in your own life.

 

For a number of reasons, you can benefit from stressing less and relaxing more often. If that sounds like something you'd enjoy, just learn to empathize more.

 

How Empathy Leads to Less Stress and Depression

 

An empathetic person can place themselves in the emotional experience of someone else. That's the first part of empathy. The part of the empathetic process some people forget is responding in a way that's helpful.

 

You see a coworker has a huge workload. She's stressing out and you know there's no possible way she can hit a proposed deadline. You communicate to her that even though her productivity is excellent and she's a great worker, you don't know how she's going to get everything done. 

 

You just paid her a compliment. You saw her emotions were frazzled and she wasn't in a good place mentally. So, you said something nice about her ability on the job.

 

The next thing you can do after you identify with her situation is to provide assistance. Offer to help her tackle some of her responsibilities. When you do, your coworker will thank you. She'll experience less stress, and science tells us that you'll also have less stress, anxiety and depression.

 

When you learn to recognize that someone else is experiencing negative emotions, you want to help. This is the response for most people. What also happens is that you subconsciously recognize that you're not in that situation. You can understand your coworker's emotional stress, but you aren't experiencing the same thing yourself.

 

Dr. Jamil Zaki is a psychology professor and the director of the Social Neuroscience Laboratory in Stanford. He says empathy can help you see past the many differences people have. It helps you move past prejudice or bias. These are negative emotions. They can produce a stress response in your body. Empathy doesn't allow that to develop.

 

Dr. Zaki also says empathy makes people happier in their relationships and even more successful at work. Studies show us that an empathetic person learns how to process his or her own emotions properly by being able to recognize the emotions other people are going through. That means being more empathetic in your life cannot only help others, but it can also give you a wonderful boost of less stress and more peace of mind.

 

A Simple 3-Step Process to Practice More Empathy

An empathetic person can identify with what someone else is experiencing. They may have had the same experience before. This isn't necessary to practice empathy. You might just be very good at putting yourself in another person's mindset.

 

Someone tells you they lost their job. They're going through so many different negative emotions. They're concerned about their mortgage payment and other financial issues.

 

A person that loses a dream job could start wondering what happened. It took them a long time to get the job they always wanted. They might have been a great employee. Then something occurred that was out of their control. Perhaps the company went bankrupt.

 

This individual could start questioning his own role in the failure of the company. A ton of different negative emotions might be experienced. The empathetic person is able to fully embrace the emotions the other person is going through even if they've never lost a job before.

 

You might want to help your friends and family members by displaying more empathy. You care about them and want to help them when they're in need. If that's the case, simply put into practice the following three-step technique for showing empathy.

 

Step 1 – Listen Actively

 

You might be a good listener. But are you an active listener? Do you just sit there with a blank expression and take in everything that's being said?

 

An active listener uses body language, facial expressions and eye movement to let the person speaking know that they're engaged and present. They are truly and deeply listening. 

 

You use open-ended questions to try to get more information from the speaker. Active listening uses anything at your disposal to get the speaker to share more information. You communicate to that person that their feelings are understood.

 

Step 2 – Validate the Experience

 

People often tell you what's on their minds because they want you to validate what they're saying. They need to know that it's okay to have certain feelings or think a specific way. When you validate a tough situation, someone's experiencing, you let them know they're not alone.

 

You validate an experience by adopting the same feelings and emotions. Tell the person that you're sharing the experience with them and that it's okay. They should recognize whatever emotions are happening. Then the empathetic person tries to figure out what can be done to fix the problem.

 

Step 3 – Offer Advice

 

Empathy is a two-part process. You take on the perspective of another person. You develop an understanding emotionally of what that person is going through. The second part involves action. You provide assistance of some kind. You try to help the person with their struggle. 

 

One way you can do this is by offering smart advice. Remember to think about their situation and not yours. Don't include any bias or judgment. Put yourself in their shoes and then give them advice to help them out of their problem.

 

Showing empathy means you care. It tells people you're putting your own interests aside for a while. The three-step process we just covered can help you show empathy to the people you care about. You'll find that you benefit as much as they do by making an emotional connection.

 

5 Techniques for Using Affirmations to Enhance Your Relationship

Affirmations are powerful positive statements. You may be aware of them as a tool for self-improvement or to help you reach your goals. Did you know that affirmations can help improve your relationships with your partner, family, friends, and even your colleagues?

 

By choosing your words carefully and meaningfully, you can improve relationships in every area of your life. 

 

1. Show Empathy

 

You can use affirmations to show the other person that you see their feelings and acknowledge them. Affirmations can be used as a component of active listening. Listen to what they are saying, without interrupting, and when you do speak, you reflect back what they said to you. You acknowledge where they are and give them space to vent or celebrate or just get their message across. 

 

The key to showing empathy is to make sure you don’t contradict or negate their feelings. Don’t offer advice or give a contrary opinion. Just stand with them in their space. 

 

2. Be Authentic

 

Make sure your affirmations are coming from a place of sincerity. Don’t say things you don’t mean. Keep your affirming messages to the point and focused on the other person. 

 

Affirmations that are economical with the truth or speak out of character will undermine your relationship, not build it. Make sure you speak from the heart. And you don’t have to use flowery language, just be nice. 

 

3. Tell Your Loved Ones They’re Loved

 

Saying I love you early in a relationship is easy. But as time goes on, it’s easy to let endearments slide. Get into the habit of telling your partner, your children, your family, your friends how much you love them. Don’t take it for granted that they feel loved, make sure they know it!

 

4. Say Thank You

 

When was the last time you said thank you for a home-cooked meal? Or for proofreading your job application? Or even for taking the garbage out?

 

No act of kindness should go unacknowledged. Show your family and friends and colleagues that you appreciate what they do for you. Affirm their role in your life. 

 

5. Give Public Praise

 

Sometimes the best affirmations come in the form of public acknowledgment. Give credit where it’s due to your team members, your partner, and your kids. Show them you're grateful and proud of them. Make it a point to acknowledge the extra effort and exceptional achievements.

 

The Importance of Self-Love

You’ve been told time and time again to love those around you, but did you know that you also must love yourself? There are several reasons to love yourself, all of which are important. Read on to find out more about the importance of self-love and why you should prioritize it in your life. 

 

Self-Love is Important for Relationships

 

The number one reason self-love is important is that before you can love someone else, you must first learn to love yourself. You learn about how to treat someone you love based on how you treat yourself. So if you don’t treat yourself with respect and love, you won’t be able to treat someone you love the same way. This can ruin your relationships with others, both friends and family alike. Therefore, if you want to love others, start by loving yourself.

 

Without Self-Love, You’ll Burn Out

 

Besides learning how to love yourself to love others, you also need to learn how to love yourself so you don't burn out. Burnout happens when you spend too much time focusing on others or your duties in life and neglecting self-care. It is characterized by an inability to focus and a sense of exhaustion that won't go away. Self-love is important because it helps keep you from burning out. 

 

Self-Love is Critical to Success

 

Do you want to be successful? Who doesn't! Self-love is important for success. This is because you can't possibly focus on bettering yourself or your place in life while you are constantly being negative about yourself or your abilities. You need to love yourself and embrace your flaws to use them to your advantage. Learning to love even the mistakes you make is a critical part of self-love. 

 

Self-Love Makes You Happier

 

Do you enjoy walking around not liking who you are as a person? Probably not. It is impossible to be happy when you spend your whole life hating on yourself and not loving yourself. If you want to lead a happy and healthy life, you need to work towards self-love today. Plus, you will feel better when you practice self-love, and when you feel better about yourself and the world around you, happiness isn't that far behind!

 

Self-love is a difficult thing to pursue in life, but it is critical to the quality of your life. Without self-love, you will have poor relationships with others, you may burn out, and you will probably never achieve success. Not to mention that you probably won't lead a very happy life! This is why you should put self-love first in your life today! 

 

Getting Enough Sleep Can Change Your Life

If you regularly skimp on sleep, or maybe don't sleep well, it may be time to change your sleeping habits. 

 

Getting a good night's sleep is important because the amount and quality of sleep you get can profoundly affect your life. And you may not realize just how much getting enough sleep could change your life.

 

The Health Consequences Of Not Enough Sleep

 

It may not seem like getting enough sleep is a big deal. After all, who cares if you are a little bit tired at work? Well, according to Amita Health, not getting enough sleep can cause considerable damages to your health. Not getting enough sleep has been tied to an increased risk of heart disease, obesity, stroke, and diabetes—all of which are dangerous conditions. And it isn't just your physical health that suffers—because your mental health can suffer too. Not getting enough sleep can make you more prone to conditions such as depression and anxiety, both of which can negatively affect your life.

 

Your Relationships Will Improve

 

Now that you know the problem with not getting enough sleep, you're probably wondering how sleep can change your life. One of the ways getting enough sleep will benefit you is that you will have better relationships with others. When you are constantly tired and short on sleep, this can lead to you being short-tempered with those around you. This short-temperateness can lead to problems in both romantic relationships and friendships. When you start getting enough sleep, those around you will probably notice your mood shift and be much more willing to spend time with you!

 

Your Career Will Advance

 

Besides just improving your health and relationships, getting enough sleep can help you further your career. This is because career success goes hand in hand with building relationships. It's hard to build relationships at work if you are grumpy or constantly tired. Also, when you are tired, you won't work as efficiently. Once you are getting enough sleep, you will have better work relationships and get things done faster—the combination of which will change your career—for the better. 

 

Overall, it can be difficult to prioritize sleep, but it needs to be done. When you get enough sleep every night, you improve your health, relationships, career, and ultimately your life! So, stop skimping out on sleep and make it your priority today!

 

How To Use Your Years Of Wisdom For A Better You

Becoming wise takes years of experience. Through our falls and triumphs, we slowly acquire this innate sense of what to do and when.

 

With wisdom, you learn how to learn from your mistakes, rather than be ashamed of them. You become better at knowing when to ask for help and understand that it doesn’t mean you’re weak or helpless.

 

In addition, you evolve into someone more interested in showing compassion and empathy rather than taking a self-centered approach. As a result, you begin to influence others simply by setting a good example.

 

One of the best things about wisdom is that it’s a skill that can be developed at any age. More importantly, is that we can put it to good use in our lives, for example, when we make decisions, build relationships, and nurture success.

 

So, how can you use your years of wisdom for a better you? That’s what we’re here today to find out!

 

Is Wisdom the Same as Knowledge?

 

No, they’re not the same. Wisdom encompasses a lot of things, including knowledge, experience, pattern recognition, empathy, engagement, and more.

 

Hence, without knowledge, you can’t gain wisdom.

 

Here’s why:

 

Knowledge is knowing certain pieces of information regarding specific topics. It acts as the foundation on which we can build our experiences from learning and failing.

 

Wisdom, on the other hand, is the ability to apply and put this information to good use. It can’t be claimed until we can learn and accept our mistakes and accomplishments.

 

Only then can you begin to improve your understanding of the world and make good decisions in almost every situation.

 

At its core, wisdom is realizing that life isn’t knowing all the right answers, but it’s knowing the right questions to ask.

 

How To Make The Most Of Your Wisdom

 

According to numerous studies, researchers discovered that a healthy gut microbiome is typically characterized by phylogenetic diversity and richness. Yet, what was even more fascinating is that they found that these healthy microbiomes were almost always associated with higher levels of wisdom and compassion.

 

Being able to empathize and see things from other people’s vantage points is one of the tenets of being wise. It also allows you to hone in on the needs, motivations, and fears of others.

 

Feel Less Isolated

 

Other studies found that wisdom is often correlated with fewer bouts of loneliness. This probably comes from the fact that wise people are often more tuned in with their emotional needs.

 

They’re also more willing to try new things and meet new people because they know it’s a great way to expand their horizons and open the door to a new learning experience.

 

Establish Personal Boundaries

 

Wisdom also brings with it just the right balance between your personal boundaries and those of others. So, you’re able to make contributions at home, work, and in your community without feeling the burnout that usually comes with taking on more than you can handle.

 

This ability to effectively navigate through life could be one of the factors that wisdom is linked to lower levels of anxiety, stress, and other mental health issues.

 

Foster Emotional Awareness

 

Knowing how to be aware of your feelings and emotions can help you take action when you start feeling things becoming too much to handle. Also, when you’re guided by wisdom, you tend to think before you act.

 

Embrace Change

 

Allowing wisdom to guide you allows you to have a more positive mindset. This makes accepting change and dealing with hard times more effortless.

 

Having an open-minded and hopeful approach to life is also a great way to see things more clearly, which leads to better decision-making.

 

Conclusion

 

Learning how to use your years of wisdom is critical for living a life of fulfillment and success. We listed several practical ways to put your wisdom to good use. Now, it’s up to you to apply them to everyday life.

 

Each one may not be easy to do at first. However, the time and effort you put in to reap the benefits of applying your wisdom will certainly be worth it in the long run.

 

6 Tips For Transitioning Into Retirement

It’s no secret that experiencing change can be a challenge. You’ll find this is true even when the transition you’re going through entails something long desired. The reason is, by and large, people are creatures of habit. So, when life’s rhythms get altered the upheaval can be immense.

 

The decision to bring your career to a close is one that invariably brings many feelings to the surface. Some of these feelings will be positive, and others, not so much.

 

A little bit of planning can help you through this process in as seamless and painless a fashion as possible. The following six tips for transitioning into retirement will help you on your path.

 

1.     Mitigate Financial Risks

 

Recent studies¹ have shown there are five major financial risks facing retirees: policy risk, market risk, health risk, longevity risk, and family risk.  Of these, the risks that most consistently become a problem for people are longevity risk (outliving resources) and health risk (medical bills/long-term care).  

 

The good news is that these are risks you can mitigate in many ways. For example, you can take care not to underestimate how long you will live, be realistic about the expenses involved in healthcare, and acknowledge the possibility of needing assistance later in life. 

 

In addition, if you take good care of yourself (physically, mentally, and emotionally) now, you will increase the likelihood of aging with grace and potentially reduce your medical needs and overhead later.

 

2.    Be Realistic About Spending

 

Paying close attention to what you spend each month before you retire will give you a sense of your monetary needs.  If you find that they are too high, begin paring down your expenses and reducing your overhead: the fewer places you hemorrhage money, the better.  Even if you have ample resources, it’s wise to pay attention to your spending to avoid unwanted surprises down the road. 

 

3.    Practice Prevention 

 

Your health and wellbeing should have been your priority throughout your life, but as you age, it’s untenable for them not to be. The difference between enjoying your retirement, or suffering the experience, can easily come down to lifestyle choices.  

 

So, if you haven’t already, make physical activity a part of each day, aim to eat a rainbow of food, cultivate sources of creativity and joy in your life, and spend time with people you love. Doing these things could lengthen your life, prevent illness and injury, and simply help to make your life better.

 

4.    Have A Plan

 

Work consumes a great deal of time. If you head into retirement without considering what those suddenly vacant hours will look like, you could leave yourself feeling unmoored. Creating a schedule for yourself that incorporates healthy habits into your daily routine can be a game changer.

 

According to a study for Psychology of Aging, “the retirement transition is multi-dimensional. The transition involves two developmental challenges: adjustment to the loss of the work role and the social ties of work, and the development of a satisfactory postretirement lifestyle.”²  

 

Anticipating these impacts in advance, and consciously facing them through planning and preparation, increases your chances for a happy retirement.

 

5.    Learn To Relax 

 

Learning to relax may sound silly, but many people are so conditioned to be busy that suddenly having free time can lead to an identity crisis. To counter this possibility, consider beginning a mindfulness practice such as meditation. Learning to sit, be still, and reflect inward will confer myriad health benefits and help ease you into retirement.

 

6.    Don’t Wait To Enjoy

 

Life is better when lived fully. Waiting for a future date to truly savor your existence can be a monumental waste of precious time. Life offers few guarantees, so if you want to avoid regrets, then make today matter. Once retirement begins, double down.  

 

Fill your moments with things you’ve long wanted to try. Vie to expand, rather than contract, as you age. Stay engaged, keep moving, and consciously cultivate your vitality. Doing this will help you transition smoothly into retirement and, what’s more, will foster a life worth living.

 

References:

 

1. ​​Hou, W. (n.d.). How Well Do Retirees Assess The Risks They Face in Retirement? Center for Retirement Research. Retrieved September 23, 2022, from https://crr.bc.edu/wp-content/uploads/2022/06/IB_22-10.pdf
2. van Solinge, H., & Henkens, K. (2008). Adjustment to and satisfaction with retirement: two of a kind?. Psychology and aging, 23(2), 422–434. https://doi.org/10.1037/0882-7974.23.2.422