4 Things I Learned From Overcoming Conflict

We all think differently. We all come from different walks of life. The sooner we accept it, the better everything will be. Acceptance comes first. Knowing that the other person is not necessarily wrong but that there are different perspectives in the equation will help avoid conflict. 

 

Once you figure out how to overcome conflict, remaining calm when being overwhelmed will become easier. You’ll be more aware of your surroundings, will know how to react in certain situations, and what to expect the outcome to look like. 

 

Here are 4 things I learned from overcoming conflict over the years – taking my experiences into consideration will ultimately help with making informed decisions. 

 

Communication Matters 

 

Our words often don’t mimic what we’re trying to say. During intense conversations, saying things out of anger, and impulsive statements will jeopardize relationships in the long run. Despite the thrill at the time, it is not worth it. Be rational. Be mindful of how your words can affect another person. Using the right language matters. 

 

In workplace dynamics, using exclusionary language, referring to someone as an opposing person will further impact your relationship. There’s a reason why there’s emphasis on being inclusive towards each other. Every word matters. 

 

Importance of Setting Your Ego Aside

 

There are times when you need to take a step back, reflect on your actions, and accept that arguing further out of pettiness will not help anyone. Ego always fuels our desire to be defensive and achieve a meaningless debate – it helps no one. 

 

From my experience, with a project at my workplace, there were conflicting opinions on what the right approach is. Everyone on my team came with their personal perspective on the matter, and it held a lot of weight. In such times, I learned that it is important to find a middle ground and compromise on senseless points. 

 

Talking in Person Matters 

 

It is an underrated trait but trust me, talking in person is far better than going back-and-forth on emails or text. Dealing with a professor in college, or your supervisor at work, comes with a lot of power dynamics. It is difficult to comprehend what the actual message is on either end when looking at a phone screen. 

 

We’re all hooked to our screens, but it is also important to act in an old-school way and confront someone when there’s a sense of conflict arising. 

 

Paying a visit in-person will help humanize the conversation and it is a much more immediate way to find a mutual understanding of things. When there is distance and passive aggressiveness along the way, it is difficult to fully understand what the other person is trying to say. 

 

Having Empathy for Others

 

While dealing with conflict, understanding that everyone comes with their own set of emotional baggage, and you have to deal with them accordingly is essential. Once you acknowledge the fact that everyone has different privileges and circumstances – it is easier to understand everyone’s situation. 

 

Active listening helps here. In relationships, listening to one another, fully grasping the intensity of the situation from all perspectives is vital while trying to resolve conflict. Being there for each other goes a long way – especially in situations where you’re actively trying to build a healthier relationship.

 

Conclusion

Communicate. Don’t let your ego take over you. Confront at the right time. And ultimately, have a sense of empathy for everyone around you. It’ll take you a long way, professionally, and in personal life. 

 

In most cases, conflicts happen due to unaddressed conversations, giving away the willingness to understand someone’s situation. We should all collectively do better. 

 

8 Methods To Boost Your Problem-Solving Skills

Problem is defined by the dictionary as “a matter or situation regarded as unwelcome or harmful and needing to be dealt with and overcome.”

 

“Problem solving is the process of achieving a goal by overcoming obstacles, a frequent part of most activities. Problems in need of solutions range from simple personal tasks to complex issues in business and technical fields.” (Wikipedia)

 

Why You Need Problem Solving Skills

 

1. For one, when you ignore your problems, they tend to get worse.
2. The life skill of problem solving gives you some level of control over your life, in the present and even in the future.
3. Whether in personal dilemmas or professional quandaries, the right approach can turn obstacles into opportunities. 
4. Problem solving helps build resilience.
5. Lastly, it’s a vital skill that helps you deal with life on life’s terms.

 

This article offers eight key methods to enhance your problem-solving acumen, ensuring you tackle issues with clarity, creativity, and confidence. Dive in to master the art of addressing challenges head-on.

 

Defining the Problem with Clarity 

 

Understanding the problem is the foundational step in any problem-solving process. To address any issue effectively, one must first ensure they grasp its entirety. 

 

This involves more than just identifying the problem's existence; it means delving deep to understand its root cause, the people it impacts, and the circumstances under which it arises. 

By dissecting the problem into more digestible parts, the process becomes less overwhelming and paves the way for a more lucid solution-finding journey.

 

The Power of Brainstorming 

 

Once the problem is laid out clearly, the next step is to gather a plethora of potential solutions. This phase should emphasize open-mindedness and creativity, allowing for a wide range of ideas, from the conventional to the out-of-the-box. 

 

The essence of brainstorming is diversity. Including individuals from different backgrounds or fields can infuse the process with varied viewpoints and enrich the pool of solutions.

 

Creative Problem Solving

 

Harvard Business School describes another approach to problem solving that while less structured offers valuable opportunities and one that is ideal for situations where the root cause has not yet been identified or defined.

 

The tools of creative problem solving include:

 

• Brainstorming
• Divergent thinking exercises: This involves coming up with a variety of solutions, each unique and each offering possible alternatives. 

 

Visualization

 

Seeing the Problem In many scenarios, visual aids can be incredibly potent tools in the problem-solving arsenal. When dealing with complex issues, writing them down on flowcharts, diagrams, or mind maps can give you insights into their complexities. 

 

Such visual representations can demystify complexities, showcase how different elements interrelate, and pinpoint areas that might require special attention.

 

Evaluating and Prioritizing Solutions 

 

With a list of possible solutions in hand, the next logical step is to sift through them. This involves a meticulous examination of each idea based on various parameters such as feasibility, potential impact, and resources needed. 

 

An objective assessment can also uncover possible risks and upsides tied to each solution. This methodical analysis is crucial in zeroing in on the most viable solutions while sidestepping potential hazards.

 

Tackling Complex Problems Piece by Piece 

 

One common pitfall in problem-solving is becoming paralyzed by the sheer magnitude of an issue. The antidote to this is segmentation. 

 

By deconstructing a colossal problem into bite-sized tasks, it becomes less daunting. This approach not only prevents feelings of being overwhelmed but also instills a progressive sense of achievement with each completed task.

 

The Value of Collaboration and Feedback 

 

Solving problems in isolation can often be limiting. By bringing in a fresh set of eyes, be it peers, mentors, or domain experts, new perspectives can be added to the mix. 

 

Additionally, Engaging in discussions can unearth insights that one might have missed, highlight unforeseen challenges, or suggest alternative paths. This collaborative spirit can amplify creativity and drive towards a more holistic solution.

 

Embracing Mistakes as Learning Opportunities 

 

When it comes to problem-solving, perfection is a myth. It's natural to encounter roadblocks or realize that a chosen solution doesn't yield the desired results. Instead of viewing these as failures, they should be perceived as invaluable lessons. 

 

By introspecting on what didn't work, refining strategies, and persisting in the face of setbacks, one not only finds better solutions but also strengthens their problem-solving aptitude and resilience.

 

Conclusion 

 

Problem-solving is a vital skill in both personal and professional life. By consistently practicing and refining these methods, you'll be better equipped to tackle challenges head-on and come up with effective solutions. 

 

Whether it's a minor hiccup or a significant hurdle, developing strong problem-solving skills will serve you well in any situation.

 

How To Make Criticism Work For You

It may seem counter-intuitive, but sometimes a critique can be the most impactful thing someone can offer you. It all comes down to what you decide to do with it. If you’d like to discover how to make criticism work for you, rather than derail you, read on.

 

Create Distance

 

When someone says something critical about you, you have some choices to make. Of these choices, one of the most significant is whether or not you choose to be offended. 

 

The stoic philosopher Epictetus said this on the subject, “If someone in the street were entrusted with your body, you would be furious. Yet you entrust your mind to anyone around who happens to insult you and allow it to be troubled and confused. Aren't you ashamed of that?”^[1]

 

In other words, don’t fall into the trap of allowing the opinions of others to control your emotions and take charge of your mind. By recognizing that someone’s thoughts about you only have the significance you afford them, you can decide how you will feel, and you see the foolishness of letting other people’s words control you. 

 

This recognition creates distance between what is said and your sense of self-worth, a powerful tool to assist you in navigating snares of modern life such as the attention economy and cancel culture.

 

Let Life Be Your Teacher

 

Choosing to learn from each experience you have is profoundly empowering. You don’t have to agree with people or even think they’re intelligent. The important thing is that you can garner lessons from everything you encounter in life.

 

When someone criticizes you, it’s a great opportunity. Since you’ve already chosen to create distance and not allow words to offend you, you now have the chance to scan over what was said and see if there’s anything useful there. You’re ready to learn and grow if possible, transforming the encounter from a trial to a win.

 

Embrace The Process

 

Sometimes a little humility goes a long way. When we acknowledge that we’re all works in progress, it doesn’t hurt so much to encounter criticism. Instead of feeling embarrassed or belittled, you can figure out how the observation might pave the way for improvement. After all, a lack of growth often leads to stagnation, so we should embrace the process, relishing opportunities to break the mold and move forward.

 

Criticism Can Cultivate Creativity

 

Sometimes hearing what is wrong with something you’ve done can pave the way for innovation. For example, when someone presents you with issues in a proposal you present, or holes in a story you’ve written, it can reveal new ideas that were previously obscured from your view. This expanded vision is a part of how collaboration works, making more minds better than one.

 

According to Harvard Business Review, there’s a sweet spot in criticism that recognizes the flaws in something without throwing the baby out with the bathwater. They refer to this process as “yes, but, and.” In this scenario, the “yes, but” portion presents the issue with a presented idea, while the “and” portion presents potential solutions.^[2]

 

By approaching a discussion this way, the critique becomes an invaluable method for creating novel solutions without disregarding a person’s initial concept. As with many encounters, showing regard for other people’s feelings and perspectives while giving constructive criticism makes for more thorough communication and better outcomes.

 

Final Thoughts

 

It isn’t all bad to be criticized, even when the critic has questionable intentions. When we choose to analyze a person’s words, scan them for utility, and refuse to take them personally, we will always learn from the encounter. The freedom from releasing the perception of insult paves the way for vast personal improvement while removing potential suffering.

 

The benefits of criticism are amplified when it is used constructively amongst respectful individuals. In this ideal scenario, you will be encouraged to elevate your ideas and hone your skills, while being free from personal attack. Thus, being amongst good company is another potent way to make criticism work for you.

 

References

 

1. Salomon, Albert, editor. The Enchiridion. Translated by Thomas Wentworth Higginson, Bobbs-Merrill, 1955. 
2. “Why Criticism Is Good for Creativity.” Harvard Business Review, 16 July 2019, https://hbr.org/2019/07/why-criticism-is-good-for-creativity.

 

A Simple 3-Step Process to Practice More Empathy

An empathetic person can identify with what someone else is experiencing. They may have had the same experience before. This isn't necessary to practice empathy. You might just be very good at putting yourself in another person's mindset.

 

Someone tells you they lost their job. They're going through so many different negative emotions. They're concerned about their mortgage payment and other financial issues.

 

A person that loses a dream job could start wondering what happened. It took them a long time to get the job they always wanted. They might have been a great employee. Then something occurred that was out of their control. Perhaps the company went bankrupt.

 

This individual could start questioning his own role in the failure of the company. A ton of different negative emotions might be experienced. The empathetic person is able to fully embrace the emotions the other person is going through even if they've never lost a job before.

 

You might want to help your friends and family members by displaying more empathy. You care about them and want to help them when they're in need. If that's the case, simply put into practice the following three-step technique for showing empathy.

 

Step 1 – Listen Actively

 

You might be a good listener. But are you an active listener? Do you just sit there with a blank expression and take in everything that's being said?

 

An active listener uses body language, facial expressions and eye movement to let the person speaking know that they're engaged and present. They are truly and deeply listening. 

 

You use open-ended questions to try to get more information from the speaker. Active listening uses anything at your disposal to get the speaker to share more information. You communicate to that person that their feelings are understood.

 

Step 2 – Validate the Experience

 

People often tell you what's on their minds because they want you to validate what they're saying. They need to know that it's okay to have certain feelings or think a specific way. When you validate a tough situation, someone's experiencing, you let them know they're not alone.

 

You validate an experience by adopting the same feelings and emotions. Tell the person that you're sharing the experience with them and that it's okay. They should recognize whatever emotions are happening. Then the empathetic person tries to figure out what can be done to fix the problem.

 

Step 3 – Offer Advice

 

Empathy is a two-part process. You take on the perspective of another person. You develop an understanding emotionally of what that person is going through. The second part involves action. You provide assistance of some kind. You try to help the person with their struggle. 

 

One way you can do this is by offering smart advice. Remember to think about their situation and not yours. Don't include any bias or judgment. Put yourself in their shoes and then give them advice to help them out of their problem.

 

Showing empathy means you care. It tells people you're putting your own interests aside for a while. The three-step process we just covered can help you show empathy to the people you care about. You'll find that you benefit as much as they do by making an emotional connection.