What are Personal Boundaries and Why We Need Them

You’ve probably heard the phrase before, but maybe you’re unsure what it means. Just what ARE personal boundaries, and what difference do they make in your life?

 

To understand a personal boundary, you have to understand what a boundary is. Let’s start at the dictionary and go from there:

 

bound·a·ry (noun)

a line that marks the limits of an area; a dividing line.

 

Most boundaries are pretty easy to see. The world is full of fences and dividers, clearly marking off space. A personal boundary does the same thing – only on a more invisible and internal level. Let’s look at this on a little closer.

 

What are boundaries?

 

1. A boundary tells you what your responsibility is in a given situation. You already have some boundaries at work or school. These are the parameters of your job or your responsibility as a student and usually are marked out pretty clearly when you took the job or where enrolled. On a personal level, a boundary tells you who you’re responsible for (yourself of course, but you might also be a caregiver). But what about your other responsibilities such as paying your bills, or taking care of your pets?

 

2. A boundary keeps you safe. Many of these should go without saying – such as abstaining from drinking and driving. But sometimes you have to set some such boundaries for yourself. Such as whether or not it’s healthy to be in a relationship with a certain individual.

 

3. A boundary tells us who we are.  Are you a good person? A bad person? A selfish person? A pious one? Our moral code becomes the boundary that defines us.

 

4. A boundary clarifies your needs. What things need to be in place in your life for you to be happiest and healthiest? What protects you for overwork or abuse?

 

5. A boundary defines your relationships. What are the parameters of your relationship? Is that healthy? What is your responsibility to that other person? How are they responsible for you?

 

With all that, it makes sense that having strong boundaries is a good idea. Especially when you take into consideration these facts:

 

Boundaries…

 

…give you a better idea of who you are

…help others to understand your needs

…give guidelines in your relationships

…make for healthy interactions with other people

 

And perhaps most important of all, they are an integral part of self-care.

 

As a side note remember this: Boundaries need to be revisited occasionally and re-evaluated. As we grow and change, our boundaries will change as well. 

 

With all this at stake, it’s no wonder we give boundaries such a lot of attention. Boundaries can mean the difference between a happy and healthy life and a life of drudgery and resentment. 

 

Is it time to learn where to draw the line?

 

How Can I Spark My Imagination?

If you have woken up to discover one day that you have almost completely left your imagination behind in your childhood, you might be wondering how you can get it back. The good news is, there are many ways to spark your imagination to bring it back, a few of which are listed below. 

 

Try Something New

 

One of the main reasons you lose your imagination as you age is because you learn exactly how the world works, and it leaves no room for you to wonder about the unknown. A good way to get your imagination going again is to try something unknown to you. This can be anything from a new hobby, visiting a new restaurant, or a vacation to somewhere new. 

 

Journal

 

Journaling regularly can help spark your creativity, especially if you engage in a string of consciousness thinking where you just let your mind wander and write down whatever comes to mind. This freewriting can help open your mind to new ideas and get your imagination going again! For best results, you should try to journal as frequently as possible, maybe even every day if you can.

 

Read Imaginative Media

 

As you age, you are exposed less and less to imaginative media. Gone are the days where you would read books about castles, dragons, and far-off lands. So help get your imagination going by reading some fiction novels again! There are many fiction novels in the adult section for you to enjoy, but don't be afraid to venture to the Young Adult section. You never know what amazing story will get your mind going.

 

Make A Vision Board

 

Do you have goals in your life that you are nowhere near achieving? Well, surprisingly, achieving goals takes a fair amount of imagination! Creating a visual image of your goal, like creating a vision board, can help get those creative or imaginative juices flowing. This is especially true when you make a physical board using just supplies you can find the house (or maybe old fashion magazines) as it takes creativity to transform unused stuff into a vision board. 

 

Overall, sparking your imagination isn't hard when you know where to start! If you want to get yourself back to a creative state of mind, start by trying something new, incorporate journaling into your everyday life, read more imaginative media, and make a vision board! Before you know it, you will be feeling more imaginative than ever before! 

Top 3 Ways to Boost Your Imagination

As you age, it can be disheartening to realize that you are no longer as imaginative as you once were. This realization can leave you wondering how you can boost your imagination to be more creative. The good news is, there are several ways to boost your imagination, the top three of which are listed below. 
 
Read
 
People often associate reading with learning and thus view the activity as work or some sort of burden. But the reality is, reading a fiction or fantasy book is an amazing way to boost your creativity. You often have to use your imagination to picture the scenes and characters from the book, which you don't do in your regular life. If you can't find an adult fantasy book, don't be afraid to check out another fiction genre. You might find your new favorite book!
 
Daydream
 
When you were a kid, was the teacher always telling you to stop daydreaming? While this may have helped you focus better in math class, it wasn't good for your developing imagination! 
 
This reason is why you should get back into daydreaming as an adult. You can sit on the couch and wonder what your life would be like if it were different, or even spend your time visualizing your goals working out just the way you want to! Either way, the activity of picturing something that isn't in your real life will boost your imagination tremendously!
 
Do Something Creative
 
Now that you've learned how to boost your imagination by sitting on the couch, it's important to know that you can also boost your imagination by doing something creative. If you aren't sure where to start, consider taking an art class at your local community center. It doesn't matter what type of art it is, just that you take the time to create something from your thoughts truly! You can also work on building a garden in your yard or even writing your own book—both of these activities are creative and will get your imagination flowing!
 
Whether you want to be more imaginative when achieving your goals or get back something you lost, boosting your imagination can be a fun and relaxing activity. All you need to do to boost your imagination is to read more, spend some time daydreaming, and commit to doing something creative. Before you know it, you will imagine an all-new life for yourself filled with wonder beyond anything you thought possible!

Top 5 Benefits of a Healthy Imagination

Many people think that a healthy imagination isn’t part of a successful life, but this couldn’t be farther from the truth. Below are the top 5 reasons that you should work to have a healthy imagination—no matter where you may be in your life. 

 

You Will Get Further In Your Career

 

Think of that one coworker that everyone, including your boss, hates. Are they very imaginative? Probably not. Having a healthy imagination is a huge part of propelling you forward in your career as it helps you problem solve and shows your boss that you have initiative. Not only that, it can help you to enjoy your career more as you will be able to imagine where you are going with it! 

 

Imagination Leads to Passion

 

If you feel as if you aren't passionate about anything and that there isn't anything on this earth you could be passionate about, your problem isn't passion. It's the lack of imagination. Imagination helps you get excited about things that may or may not happen, which makes you passionate about activities in your life. 

 

Imagination Stimulates Innovation

 

Is there something in your life that you wish you could change? Well, without a healthy imagination, you will probably never be able to change it. This is because imagination helps your mind innovate to find solutions to problems that may exist in your personal or professional life. It can lead to all sorts of amazing possibilities as you innovate your world to suit your dreams. 

 

Imagination Helps You Cope

 

There is no way around it. Sometimes life isn't fun. If you don't have a good imagination, you may find yourself getting stuck in a rut every time something bad happens in your life. Imagination helps propel you forward and keep you thinking positively even when the future seems grim. 

 

You Use Imagination to Design Your Future

 

Do you have a hard time picturing where you will end up? This is probably because you don't have a healthy imagination. Using your imagination is a critical part of finding goals you want to pursue and being able to visualize them to motivate yourself to work towards them! Without imagination, you may find yourself stuck in the present. 

 

Regardless of where you want to end up in life, it is very clear that a healthy imagination needs to be part of your journey. This is why you should commit to boosting your imagination sooner rather than later. 

3 Ways to Quickly Declutter Your Mind

We usually think of clutter as physical. It's all that "stuff" you keep promising yourself you'll clean up. Left alone, it seems to multiply on its own. Where you just had a few things out of place and distracting you a few days ago, now there are more.

 

Clutter is like that. A crowded, messy area magically attracts other items that don't need to be there. While you may think this isn't a big deal, it can be. Aside from the danger that substantial clutter provides (it can be a fire hazard, you may trip over it, etc.), any amount can be distracting. This kills your focus and concentration.

 

Maybe you don't have much physical clutter in your environment. You are exceptionally neat and organized. If that's the case, good for you. Don't forget that clutter can also exist in your mind. Having too many unnecessary things in your head at once can keep you from focusing on the things that matter.

 

Here are three simple ways to de-clutter your mind. They go to work immediately, removing thoughts, obsessions, and other mental messes so you enjoy less stress and anxiety and better mental wellness.

 

1.  Divorce Yourself from Drama

 

This might mean saying goodbye to some people in your life. If they don't provide more positives than negatives, their drama might not be worthwhile. Being around a dramatic individual regularly fills your head with unnecessary distractions. 

 

The issues that the drama queens in your life are constantly dealing with become your issues to some extent. Ditch the drama. Say no to issues and individuals you don't have to deal with. If the drama isn't yours, you shouldn't have to put up with it.

 

2.  Stop Living in the Past and Worrying about the Future

 

Well, maybe you can worry about the future just a little bit. It makes a lot of sense to plan your life. If not, you're letting chance, other people, and circumstances decide how your life will go.

 

You probably know what we're talking about here. It doesn't make any sense to obsess over things in your past. They're gone, and you can't change them. Use any lessons learned to move on with more information. 

 

As far as the future goes, constantly worrying about it won't do you any good. This clogs up your brain and leaves no space for your mental machinery to deal with your life.

 

3.  If It Runs on Electricity, Spend Less Time with It

 

From when some people wake up until they go to bed, they are bathing in digital distractions. You have your own unique electrical field. Constantly exposing yourself to the electromagnetic fields of your phone and tablet, television, laptop, and all the consumer electronics you encounter at work and play can fry your brain and fill it with mind-numbing clutter.

 

These are things you can do right now, this very minute. When you do, you immediately start clearing out your mental storage unit. The benefits are less stress, more focus, and better mental health; you might even find yourself sleeping better at night.

Become Socially Confident by Questioning Your Negative Thoughts

Confidence gives you the ability to trust in yourself. You understand that you're going to make some mistakes. You're going to fail. But you keep going. You're confident that you can create a positive outcome. You also understand that any failure is not a declaration of who you are as a person.

 

It's just a thing. It's just something that happened, nothing more. You learn from it and then move on.

 

When you lack confidence you don't usually have that powerful belief in yourself. You question your ability to do something. Before you know it, you're lacking confidence in several different activities or responsibilities. That's because when you start to lose confidence in some aspect of your life, it can be unfortunately contagious. Low self-confidence can spread to every corner of your life and have a powerfully negative impact.

 

One way people develop a lack of social confidence is by believing their nagging inner voice. 

 

You know the voice we're talking about. It's incessant, always there, and it never seems to have a positive point of view. The "what if" scenarios it paints doesn't make a pretty picture. The next time you catch yourself engaging in negative self-talk, simply do this.

 

Ask yourself if the negative thought is absolutely true without a doubt.

 

Just because you have a thought doesn't make it true. Think about previous beliefs you had that you learned were incorrect. You may have been pretty sure you were thinking the right way. Then reality or a life experience taught you a valuable lesson. Your thoughts are sometimes wrong.

 

Questioning Negative Thoughts Takes Away Their Power

 

People prefer to have their experiences reaffirm their beliefs. This is why socially confident people often create positive social interactions. Their confidence leads them to a place where their ability to create a positive social outcome is greatly enhanced.

 

When you stick to negative social beliefs you do the same thing. You listen to your inner voice. It tells you that nothing but bad is going to come from some interaction with another person. You believe that thought without questioning it. 

 

This makes you nervous. You focus on a negative outcome so much that you virtually guarantee it's going to occur.

 

To keep this from happening, answer your inner voice. When it starts talking to you negatively about a social interaction, ask why it thinks that way. Challenge it to prove what it's saying without a shadow of a doubt. Then began to pick apart the negative thought.

 

Instead of asking yourself what could go wrong, ask yourself what could go right. Stop thinking the negative thought and realize there's a possibility for a wonderful and positive outcome. This is a proven way to become more socially confident and capable.

Age Better By Nurturing Key Relationships

One of the best things you can do for yourself to ensure that you age more gracefully is to nurture all the key relationships in your life. By taking good care of these relationships, you can give yourself an essential pillar of support as you ease into the later years of your life.

 

How can well-nurtured relationships help you age better?

 

Well-nurtured relationships can help you age better in a few key ways:

 

1. They establish a support system within your life.

 

By nurturing key relationships, you ensure that you are building a strong support system you can call upon whenever you need it. By putting in the time, energy, and effort to build these relationships, you make them stronger and stronger. In your later years, knowing these people will be there for you can make aging feel less intimidating.

 

2. They help you see other people’s experiences with aging more closely. 

 

Close relationships with others give you intimate glimpses into their lives–and this means you will likely see some of your close friends and family go through their own aging experiences, too. This can help you feel better about your own experience by having others you can relate with on a close, personal level. 

 

3. They keep you socially active and engaged.

 

Being socially active is a great way to age better. Having friends and family to spend time with helps you remain socially active and engaged, which can help you age a lot better than you would if you were alone. 

 

What are some methods for nurturing the key relationships in your life?

 

Struggling to nurture the key relationships in your life? Consider implementing these strategies to make it easier:

 

1. Be supportive. 

 

Show up and support the people in your lives–especially when they need it most. Make an effort to be present and helpful whenever you can. Doing so will not only help them, but also strengthen your relationship. 

 

2. Be more empathetic.

 

Practice putting yourself into another person’s shoes, especially when they are experiencing a difficult time. Doing so will make it easier to understand their feelings so you can relate to them easier and strengthen your relationship.

 

3. Honor your time together.

 

When you have an opportunity to spend time with the people you love, take it. Spending good, quality time together is an essential way to nurture relationships. Time together builds trust, brings new memories, and strengthens your bond with them.

 

4. Keep the lines of communication open. 

 

Communication is a key component of any successful relationship. Make sure you keep the lines of communication open and flowing between you and the other important people in your life. Good, strong communication with each other leaves little room for misunderstandings and helps build a sense of trust.

 

5. Be appreciative and express gratitude.

 

Make sure you are telling the people who matter most to you how important they are. Take opportunities to be appreciative of your relationships and show other people plenty of gratitude. When other people know you appreciate them, it helps strengthen your mutual bond. 

 

6. Be patient during tough times.

 

No relationships are perfect. All people will experience disagreements, conflicts, and issues with one another–it’s a perfectly normal and natural part of being in any sort of relationship with another person, even someone you really love and trust. During these “low” periods, be patient. Remember that it is normal to go through rough patches and be patient with yourself and the other person. You can work through your hard times and emerge on the other side of disagreements in a healthy way.

 

Breaking Bad Habits: 5 Effective Steps to Overcome Negative Patterns

If you are fully aware that something is bad for you, why is it so difficult to stop? 70% of smokers report that they want to quit. People who abuse alcohol or drugs struggle to break free of their control over their lives. Many people carry unhealthy weight that could be lost if they exercised more and ate right. Why do so many people have trouble overcoming these negative patterns? 

 

Scientists funded by the National Institutes of Health (NIH) are searching for the answer to that question. They study what happens in our brains while habits are forming. They have discovered clues to why our bad habits are hard to overcome. They are working on strategies that will help us make changes we need to make in our lives. 

 

Here are 5 effective steps for overcoming negative patterns and breaking bad habits:

1. Understand that Success Won’t be a Straight Line

 

As you begin trying to change, you will find setbacks and bumps in the road. They are parts of the important process of developing lasting change. You are your own worst critic, and you may view anything less than complete success as a failure. 

 

It may help to take the perspective of a third person and react as you would to a friend trying to change, instead of yourself. You would be reassuring and kind, rather than critical. Allow yourself the same treatment. 

2. Make an Achievable Game Plan

 

Start your journey with a game plan you can achieve. Just thinking about change isn’t normally enough to overcome negative patterns. Instead, use a journal – or your phone, or paper – and start with a plan. 

 

Gain some introspection into the changes you want to make. Consider:

• What is your main goal?

• Why is that goal one you want to achieve?

• Can you set smaller goals to help you reach the main goal?

• What things trigger your bad habit?

• What setbacks do you foresee?

• What types of coping strategies can help you deal with your triggers and your setbacks?

• What type of support system is available for you?

• How will you be tracking challenges and progress?

3. Keep Changes Simple

 

The reason it’s difficult to break your bad habits is that they are already automatic and easy. New behaviors are harder to adopt. Your brain has not yet taken them on. When you make your new goal behaviors simple, it helps in integrating them into your brain’s autopilot routines.

4. Practice Mindfulness

 

Mindfulness will assist you to develop an awareness of your thoughts, your feelings, and your actions. Simply observe the impulses related to your bad habits without reacting to them or judging them. 

 

As you develop awareness of your routine behaviors and those triggers that cause them, you can consider other available options, like not acting on your urges or avoiding cues that cause you to remember bad habits. 

 

Practicing consistent mindfulness will also help you in noticing ways in which your habits affect your life on a daily basis. As you begin recognizing those effects, it helps you to feel driven to change the bad habits. 

5. Cut Out Your Triggers

 

Cut as many triggers as you can from your life. If you usually smoke when drinking, don’t drink alcohol. If you eat whatever cookies you have in your house, throw them away. Make it easier to break your bad habits by avoiding whatever causes them. 

Conclusion

 

Once you have broken a bad habit, what’s the next step? You need to plan to prevent any relapse. Bad habits are difficult to break, and it will usually take multiple attempts to change. Remember to be compassionate with yourself, so you won’t give up when you encounter a setback or roadblock. That makes success much more probable.

References

 

https://www.healthline.com/health/how-to-break-a-habit#be-mindful

 

https://www.heart.org/en/healthy-living/healthy-lifestyle/mental-health-and-wellbeing/how-to-break-bad-habits-and-change-behaviors

 

https://www.health.harvard.edu/blog/how-to-break-a-bad-habit-202205022736

 

https://health.clevelandclinic.org/how-to-break-bad-habits