Move Repetitive Decisions to Autopilot to Declutter Your Mind

Steve Jobs is the more well-known co-founder of Apple. He created the world's first one trillion dollar and two trillion dollar company along with Steve Wozniak. Apple became the first company with a market capitalization of three trillion dollars in January 2022. 

 

The meteoric rise of Apple in the computer and consumer electronics industries in the early 1990s had a lot to do with Jobs' leadership. One thing the tech icon did that impacted his management was frequently wear the same outfit. Perform an image search for "Steve Jobs," and you continually see him wearing the same three things.

• A black mock turtleneck top

• New Balance sneakers

• Blue jeans

One of the wealthiest men in the world, Jobs could certainly have afforded an endless amount of clothing. Yet he continually wore the same things. Why did he do that?

 

It gave him one fewer choice to make every day.

 

This allowed him to free his mind up for other things. He put what would otherwise have been a daily decision on autopilot. He didn't have to spend any mental energy worrying about what he would wear.

 

How many images of Albert Einstein have you seen that look the same? He reportedly purchased several versions of the same suit so he didn't have to waste any of his considerable brainpower on his choice of clothing each day.

 

In an interview on the NBC Today show, Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg said he owns about 20 identical gray-colored T-shirts. Former US President Obama also believes in limiting the number of routine choices he has to make daily.

 

In a 2012 interview with Vanity Fair, President Obama said, "You'll see I wear only gray or blue suits. I'm trying to pare down decisions. I don't want to make decisions about what I'm eating or wearing. Because I have too many other decisions to make."

 

If it's good enough for these successful people, should you try it? Perhaps you should if you want to declutter your mind.

 

Limit Repetitive Choices

 

Maybe you don't want to wear the same clothing all the time. That's fine. All we're saying is that when you limit the number of conscious decisions you have to make, there's less going on in your conscious mind. That means fewer things that can collect in your head and lead to clutter.

 

Move simple decisions to autopilot. This could be what you will wear to work, what you eat each morning, or a specific schedule of activities you will follow at some time during the day. The less mental energy you spend on decision-making, the freer your conscious mind is when you engage in important activities.

 

This is a simple way to reduce the amount of input that goes into your mind. When you reduce how much you ask your conscious mind to do, you limit the possibility that mental clutter will build up and keep you from performing at your best.

The Twice-a-Day Ritual That De-Clutters Your Mind, Helps You Sleep Better, Relieves Stress, and Boosts Mental Focus

Scott Bea is a clinical psychologist who understands how clutter can wreck your mental and physical health. He tells us that visual clutter, anything that falls within your line of sight but isn't necessary, cranks up your production of cortisol. That means more stress and anxiety.

 

Clutter negatively affects your self-esteem level, even if you don't consciously believe it's that big of a problem. Mental and physical clutter kills your ability to focus and be productive and can lead to sleep loss.

 

Physical clutter in your environment can lead to mental clutter. 

 

Your senses are constantly trying to deal with everything they detect in your messy, disorganized space. This fogs up your brain and gets it working overtime. When you remove visual, physical, and mental clutter from your life, you gain better control of not only your mental abilities. You also boost your self-esteem and feel good about what you've accomplished.

 

The Downside of a Cluttered Mind

 

Before we discuss how you can do some spring cleaning in your mind, let's get a little negative. Sometimes understanding the downside of a situation can motivate you to take action. Here are a few of the unfortunate symptoms of a cluttered mind.

 

• You constantly focus on the negative and have difficulty seeing things positively.

• You worry about things you have no control over.

• It isn't easy focusing your attention and having clarity of thought.

• You are easily and frequently distracted.

• Your brain never shuts down and is always processing information from multiple topics and lists.

• A cluttered mind can lead to multiple sleep problems.

• It's common to feel physically drained, mentally confused, and unproductive.

 

When your mind is cluttered with unnecessary "stuff," a lot of energy is required to deal with it. This can make you feel run down and fatigued. You don't feel like doing anything or dealing with anything.

 

Don't worry; there is a simple solution you can use twice a day to sleep better and relieve the stress your mental clutter is causing. You will find it easier to focus, and you'll be more productive as well. Here's what you need to do.

• Write it down when you wake up.

• Write it down when you go to bed.

What is the "it" that you should be writing down? Your thoughts. Your feelings. Anything that's going on in your head. In the morning, write out a game plan for the day. Prioritize important things and keep everything else off of your list.

 

At night, read over what you wrote that morning. Then unload your mind. Back up the mental dump truck and get it all out. If random thoughts bother you during the day and are still on your mind, let them stand up and be recognized.

 

Writing out your thoughts is such a powerful way to clear your mind. When you do this regularly in the morning and at night, you'll find you sleep better, and you're more productive during the day. This won't stop your ceaseless inner chatter. It gives you control over it while ensuring a lot of mental clutter doesn't take up full-time residency in your mind.

5 Common Public Speaking Mistakes

Even though most people don’t enjoy public speaking, there are strategies to doing it well. You don’t have to be a professional speaker to make an impact on your audience. One way to feel most comfortable speaking in front of others is to recognize and avoid these top 5 mistakes.

1. Memorizing or reading your entire presentation. 

 

Your audience came to hear you speak to them - not read or deliver a rote, memorized performance. Your responsibility is to communicate with your audience, not at them. By treating your audience as if you were having a conversation in your living room, you will find that you are much more comfortable and in better control of your nervousness. 

2. Not knowing your material.

 

If you are not familiar with your words or how your speech or presentation is meant to flow, then you are likely to make more errors. Making a mistake or two is not the issue - making a lot of them is! 

3. Speaking too fast.

 

Controlling your speed is extremely important if you expect your audience to be able to understand what you are saying. Listening to someone move at 100 mph takes much more energy than listening to them at 75! Incidentally, talking at a furious pace saps your energy as well. 

4. Staring at an object on the wall. 

 

You should not focus your attention on a spot on the wall or above the heads of your audience. Look the audience in the eye. Make that contact with your listeners, and you will then be aware of their reaction to you. Remember, public speaking is a form of communication. If you are not making eye contact, then you are not communicating. 

5. Running Out of Air.

 

Breathlessness on the podium is one of the most common mistakes made because many novice speakers do not think to breathe. If you wait until you are totally out of breath, you will then be required to inhale a huge amount of air in order to fill your lungs. In doing so, you will experience breathlessness and a tightness in your chest. My advice is to learn to breathe with the support of your diaphragm - truly the best means of controlling nervousness - and then practice supplementing your air supply before you are depleted. 

 

These 5 common mistakes can be easily rectified if you know your material, converse with your audience, learn how to control your speed, make eye contact with your listeners and remember to breathe.

Age Better By Nurturing Key Relationships

One of the best things you can do for yourself to ensure that you age more gracefully is to nurture all the key relationships in your life. By taking good care of these relationships, you can give yourself an essential pillar of support as you ease into the later years of your life.

 

How can well-nurtured relationships help you age better?

 

Well-nurtured relationships can help you age better in a few key ways:

 

1. They establish a support system within your life.

 

By nurturing key relationships, you ensure that you are building a strong support system you can call upon whenever you need it. By putting in the time, energy, and effort to build these relationships, you make them stronger and stronger. In your later years, knowing these people will be there for you can make aging feel less intimidating.

 

2. They help you see other people’s experiences with aging more closely. 

 

Close relationships with others give you intimate glimpses into their lives–and this means you will likely see some of your close friends and family go through their own aging experiences, too. This can help you feel better about your own experience by having others you can relate with on a close, personal level. 

 

3. They keep you socially active and engaged.

 

Being socially active is a great way to age better. Having friends and family to spend time with helps you remain socially active and engaged, which can help you age a lot better than you would if you were alone. 

 

What are some methods for nurturing the key relationships in your life?

 

Struggling to nurture the key relationships in your life? Consider implementing these strategies to make it easier:

 

1. Be supportive. 

 

Show up and support the people in your lives–especially when they need it most. Make an effort to be present and helpful whenever you can. Doing so will not only help them, but also strengthen your relationship. 

 

2. Be more empathetic.

 

Practice putting yourself into another person’s shoes, especially when they are experiencing a difficult time. Doing so will make it easier to understand their feelings so you can relate to them easier and strengthen your relationship.

 

3. Honor your time together.

 

When you have an opportunity to spend time with the people you love, take it. Spending good, quality time together is an essential way to nurture relationships. Time together builds trust, brings new memories, and strengthens your bond with them.

 

4. Keep the lines of communication open. 

 

Communication is a key component of any successful relationship. Make sure you keep the lines of communication open and flowing between you and the other important people in your life. Good, strong communication with each other leaves little room for misunderstandings and helps build a sense of trust.

 

5. Be appreciative and express gratitude.

 

Make sure you are telling the people who matter most to you how important they are. Take opportunities to be appreciative of your relationships and show other people plenty of gratitude. When other people know you appreciate them, it helps strengthen your mutual bond. 

 

6. Be patient during tough times.

 

No relationships are perfect. All people will experience disagreements, conflicts, and issues with one another–it’s a perfectly normal and natural part of being in any sort of relationship with another person, even someone you really love and trust. During these “low” periods, be patient. Remember that it is normal to go through rough patches and be patient with yourself and the other person. You can work through your hard times and emerge on the other side of disagreements in a healthy way.

 

How to Stop Yourself from Sabotaging Your Own Success

When you sabotage your own success, you are using action or inaction that will undermine your progress and prevent you from accomplishing your goals. You will be hindering your own success. 

 

Some people may undermine their good intentions and defeat their long-term goals. If you take destructive steps like this, it can have a negative impact on almost every part of your life, including your career and relationships. 

 

This article will discuss self-sabotage and teach you ways to stop yourself from sabotaging your own success in life. 

Why Do People Develop Self-Sabotaging Behaviors?

 

There are various reasons why people may thwart their own progress. The causes can range from effects of prior relationships to issues experienced in childhood. Other reasons include coping problems and low self-esteem.

 

Self-sabotage may serve as a temporary coping mechanism for dealing with past traumas and stressful situations. However, it usually makes those problems even harder to deal with, and limits someone’s ability to move beyond them. 

How Can You Stop Yourself from Sabotaging Your Own Success?

 

You can overcome your self-sabotaging problems and replace them with self-confidence, with practice. Here are some tips to stop yourself from sabotaging your own success:

1. Recognize the Behaviors You Use to Sabotage Yourself

 

If you want to stop self-sabotaging, you must recognize the behaviors that sabotage you. Think about goals you may have had for years but have not yet accomplished. Are there areas where you put off making decisions? Do you suffer from a lack of motivation, in minor things as well as important things?

2. Understand Emotions that Lead to Self-Sabotaging Behaviors

 

Behaviors that cause you to sabotage your own success often stem from feelings of anger, anxiety, or worthlessness. Try to manage those emotions, so you won’t commit yourself to any behaviors that will have negative consequences. Check for warning signs of anxiety or anger before they can get out of control.

3. Change Unhelpful Thoughts, Emotion, and Behaviors

 

As you discover negative thoughts and emotions that trigger your self-sabotage behavior, challenge them. If you change one of those aspects, you can change the others more easily.

4. Develop Behaviors that Support You and Your Goals

 

After you identify and begin defeating the false thoughts and emotions that lead to self-sabotaging behavior, you can then begin rebuilding your confidence and self-esteem. 

5. Challenge All of Your Excuses

 

Pay attention to all the excuses you’ve developed when you don’t reach a goal, or when you fail in some way. Usually, the excuses are made to cope with your pain of failing. 

6. Don’t Feed Your Fears Anymore

 

Fears will not go away all by themselves, simply by your pretending they’re not there, or by pushing them to the side. If you don’t attend to fears, they grow stronger. Challenge your fears and see if they’re real and take actions to reduce fears wherever you can. 

7. Learn From Each of Your Mistakes

 

You’re probably the only one who sees yourself as a failure, but many people see themselves in the same way. Everyone will make mistakes – at home and in their professional life. Learn from those mistakes, rather than dwelling on them or burying them. 

8. Understand Your Limits

 

Don’t take on many things at once that you don’t have the capacity, control, or capabilities to handle. You can go after more than one objective, but don’t take on more than you can accomplish. Know what your limits are and stay within them. 

Final Thoughts

 

When you sabotage your own success, it makes life more challenging than it needs to be. There is a great deal of pressure in your life, which can translate into anxiety or stress in your career position and your relationships. 

 

Embrace your capabilities and your potential to be successful, and don’t let doubts or negative emotions keep you from becoming everything you desire to be. 

The Power of No: Setting Boundaries for a Healthier You

“No is a complete sentence.”- Annie Lamott

Many of us people pleasers find it difficult to say no and establish boundaries. This often leads to us over-extending ourselves to others and feeling resentful when our boundaries are constantly crossed. But how can we expect others to respect our boundaries when we aren’t even communicating properly and saying no?

Learning how to say ‘no’ and set firm yet healthy boundaries is the key to mental peace and maintaining healthy relationships with others. Having loose boundaries and not being able to say no often leads to us feeling overwhelmed and burnt out. 

Understandably, we all want to be liked by others, but people-pleasing is not the way to go. It just allows others to walk all over us continuously. 

The Importance of Setting Boundaries

While it can be challenging to set boundaries with difficult people, it is important and the key to forming healthy relationships and taking care of your well-being. Saying no to things that do not serve you or you simply do not have the time for can help you focus on yourself and your priorities. It can enable you to create a balance in all aspects of your life. 

For example, if your boss asks you to come in and work on the weekends or expects you to work overtime late at night, it is important to set firm boundaries with your work, learn to say no respectfully, and create a work-life balance for your well-being. This helps you avoid any undue stress and helps you focus on other things in your life that might give you purpose or energize you like your family or hobbies. 

Healthy boundaries can free you from unrealistic expectations from others and the resentments that come with them. They can help you avoid conflicts in relationships. Setting healthy boundaries with your partner, friends, kids, or any other relationship you may have in your life can allow you to nurture these relationships, conserve energy, and save you from a lot of drama and toxicity. 

How to Set and Maintain Healthy Boundaries 

1. Find Your ‘Why’

 

Reflect on the reason you want to set a boundary. Perhaps something in your relationship or friendship is making you resentful and uncomfortable and you want to set a boundary with your friend to preserve your mental and emotional well-being. 

Start small. 

Start slowly and set a few boundaries initially and build them up slowly. Don’t go to an extreme level and set up rigid and unhealthy boundaries that you will not be able to maintain in the long run. Go at your own comfortable pace and make changes as needed. 

2. Set Boundaries Early On

Consider setting boundaries early on in a relationship as it can be hard to start putting boundaries around pre-existing relationships. For example, you could set boundaries early on with in-laws when you get engaged or married. This way you set expectations to be a certain way from the beginning avoiding any confusion or hurt in relationships. 

3. Stay Firm and Consistent

When setting boundaries, it is important to not let them slide as it will make people not take you seriously and just add to the confusion. Staying firm can help reinforce your boundaries. 

4. Communicate When Your Boundaries are Crossed

Confidently communicate when someone disrespects and crosses your boundaries continuously. You can communicate assertively and effectively without sounding aggressive or confrontational and still assert your boundaries. 

For example, if someone keeps calling you late at night repeatedly you could say something like, “I can see you want to get a hold of me, but the best thing would be to text me, and I will get back to you when I have the time in the morning.” This assertively highlights their behavior and sets and maintains your boundaries.

Setting boundaries and saying no to things that do not serve you can be an empowering experience and help you maintain great relationships. While setting your boundaries, it is also important to recognize the boundaries of other people and respect them just as you would expect them to respect yours. 

Try not to violate the boundaries of other people as it can cause resentment and contempt to build them which leads to toxicity in relationships and people withdrawing from others who may cross their boundaries. 

It is possible to set boundaries without being aggressive, confrontational, or upsetting people. Don’t feel guilty about setting boundaries and take it as an act of self-care and something crucial to your overall well-being.