The Tale of the Unfinished Tower

In a lively town by the sea, there was a mason named Paolo who was known for his talent but also for his tendency to avoid responsibility when things went wrong. Paolo was skilled in his craft, and the townspeople admired his beautiful stonework, but many whispered that he was unreliable when projects ran into trouble. Whenever mistakes were made or work was delayed, Paolo would always blame others—the weather, the tools, or the workers under him—never taking responsibility for his own actions.

 

One day, the mayor of the town announced a grand project: a tall lighthouse to guide ships safely into the harbor. It was to be the tallest tower in the region, a symbol of the town’s prosperity and an essential beacon for sailors. The mayor entrusted Paolo with the task of building the lighthouse, knowing that his skill with stone was unmatched. Paolo eagerly accepted, seeing the project as an opportunity to showcase his talents and earn more fame.

 

Work on the lighthouse began, and at first, everything went smoothly. Paolo directed the workers, and the tower began to rise, its stone walls gleaming in the sun. But as the tower grew taller, so did the challenges. The stones became heavier, and the winds at higher elevations made the work more dangerous and difficult.

 

One day, as the workers were hoisting a large stone into place, the pulley system broke, sending the stone crashing to the ground. Several other stones were damaged in the process, and the tower’s progress was delayed. When the mayor came to inspect the site and asked Paolo what had happened, Paolo quickly blamed the workers. “They were careless,” he said. “It wasn’t my fault.”

 

The mayor frowned but accepted Paolo’s explanation, trusting that he would ensure the mistake was corrected.

 

As the weeks went on, more problems arose. The mortar in some sections of the tower began to crack, and Paolo’s measurements for the next level of stones were off, causing a misalignment in the tower’s structure. Each time an issue occurred, Paolo deflected blame. When the mortar cracked, he blamed the supplier for providing poor-quality materials. When the tower’s alignment was off, he blamed the tools, saying they weren’t accurate enough. But never once did Paolo take responsibility for overseeing the work closely or ensuring that everything was done properly.

 

One evening, after another day of delays, Paolo returned to the site alone, frustrated by the problems plaguing the project. As he stood at the base of the unfinished tower, an old sailor approached him. The sailor had lived in the town for many years and had seen many projects come and go. He looked up at the tower and then at Paolo, who appeared lost in thought.

 

“Seems the tower’s been giving you some trouble,” the sailor said.

 

Paolo sighed. “Yes, but it’s not my fault. The workers are careless, the materials are faulty, and the tools aren’t good enough.”

 

The sailor raised an eyebrow. “That may be so,” he said, “but I’ve been watching this project from the docks. It seems to me that when things go wrong, you’re always quick to point the finger at someone else. A good captain takes responsibility for his ship, even when the storm isn’t his fault.”

 

Paolo frowned, unsure of what the sailor was getting at.

 

The sailor continued, “When I’m out at sea and something goes wrong with my ship, I can’t blame the wind or the waves. I have to adjust my sails, make repairs, and guide my crew. If I fail to do that, the ship doesn’t just suffer—it sinks. Accountability isn’t about avoiding blame; it’s about taking responsibility and making things right.”

 

Paolo was silent for a moment, realizing that the sailor was right. He had been so focused on protecting his reputation and avoiding blame that he hadn’t taken responsibility for the problems on the project. If he had been more diligent in overseeing the work, if he had taken the time to fix mistakes rather than blame others, the tower might have been further along—and stronger.

 

The next morning, Paolo returned to the construction site with a new resolve. He gathered the workers and apologized for blaming them for the delays. He took responsibility for the mistakes that had been made and promised to oversee the project more closely from then on. He personally inspected the materials, adjusted the plans to fix the alignment issues, and worked alongside the crew to ensure that everything was done correctly.

 

With Paolo taking accountability for the project, the work improved dramatically. The workers respected him more for admitting his mistakes and working to correct them. Slowly but surely, the lighthouse rose higher and higher until it was finally completed. The tower stood tall and strong, a beacon of light guiding ships safely into the harbor.

 

When the mayor came to inspect the finished lighthouse, he praised Paolo for his hard work and dedication. And though Paolo felt pride in his accomplishment, he knew that the real lesson he had learned was the importance of accountability. By taking responsibility for his actions and guiding the project with care, he had not only completed the lighthouse but also earned the respect of the entire town.

 

Moral:

 

Accountability means taking responsibility for our actions, even when things go wrong. When we own our mistakes and work to correct them, we gain respect, improve ourselves, and ultimately succeed in our endeavors.

4 Ways Taking Risks Can Help Us

Taking a risk in life can be scary, and often your friends and family will warn you against it. However, did you know that taking some risks is in your best interest? 

 

Below are four ways that taking risks can help you. 

 

1. You’ll Learn How to Fail

 

Many people are scared to take risks because they are afraid to fail. However, the possibility of failure is actually a reason you should take risks. Anyone who has ever told you that they've never failed has likely never succeeded either. Failure is an absolutely critical part of success. How can you know how to succeed unless you've learned a few ways not to succeed? It also helps you build character and shape you into a better, more well-prepared person. So take a risk, and even if you fail, at least you will learn something important.

 

2. You’ll Gain Confidence

 

When you succeed after taking a risk, you will gain confidence. This confidence will help move you forward in life to bigger, and often better, things. Without confidence, you will likely stay in the same rut you may be in right now. 

 

3. You’ll Conquer Your Fears

 

Another reason people tend not to take risks is that they are afraid. Whether that is fear of failure, or something else, you can't expect to conquer these fears without taking a risk or two! 

 

Sometimes people are afraid of finding out who they really are because taking risks will reveal this. This is a critical aspect necessary for personal growth. So no matter what risk it is in your life that you are facing, it's time to go for it and see what happens so you can conquer your fears and find out who you are. 

 

4. You Will Be Successful

 

The number one way that taking risks helps is to lead you on the path to success. No one in this world has become successful just by sitting around their bedroom waiting for something to happen. Risks and success go hand in hand. Even if you aren't successful on the first try, remember to stick with it because eventually, you will achieve the success you desire. 

 

Overall, it is scary to take risks, but this is exactly why you should do so! Once you start taking risks, you will learn how to fail, face your fears, gain confidence, and it will eventually lead you to success! 

 

7 Secrets to Reclaiming Confidence that Successful People Know

Winston Churchill once said, “Success is stumbling from failure to failure with no loss of enthusiasm.” 

 

The problem is, enthusiasm can be hard to come by, especially when yours has taken a beating. Setbacks and disappointments have a way of knocking it down. We start doubting ourselves and lose sight of who we really are. Without confidence, it becomes impossible to try, guaranteeing failure. 

 

Thankfully, we know one thing for certain: confidence can be reclaimed, as every successful person knows. Read on to discover 7 things successful people know about reclaiming confidence.

 

They Remind Themselves They Can Do It

 

Successful people recognize failure is normal. Getting there won’t be without bumps. The important thing when trying to regain confidence is to realize success is still a possibility…or even a probability. This is where you remind yourself of your goal and visualize success all over again.

 

They Walk Away

 

There comes a time where a break is the best thing you can give yourself. Confidence wavers when you’re feeling stressed and overwhelmed. Doing a hobby you love, or even just taking a walk, or spending time with friends, does a lot toward regaining a positive mindset when you’re feeling frustrated.

 

They Revisit the Past

 

Where have you succeeded before? Where have you failed? Everything that’s come before is a teaching moment. What do you know about yourself already from these events? Understanding the “you of yesterday” is where your insights today come from. Confidence comes from using this knowledge well. 

 

They Forgive

 

Hating yourself for some mistake you made isn’t going to get you anywhere and only destroys your confidence. Being able to let go and forgive the past is crucial to future success.

 

They Keep a Handle on What They’re Saying

 

Self-talk can be particularly destructive to confidence. How do you talk to yourself? Are you patient and understanding, or do you tend toward negativity? Grabbing hold of those mental put-downs will preserve self-confidence. Using more positive statements will build it up.

 

They Start Over

 

The only sure way to fail is to do the same thing, in exactly the same way, when you’ve already failed the first time. Rather than force failure onto yourself and eradicate confidence, revamp the strategy. Ask yourself how you can do things differently this time.

 

They Keep Trying

 

Persistence pays off. If you fail and stop, you’ll always think of yourself as a failure. It’s the person who gets up and tries again who builds confidence as they go. 

 

In the end, the only way to reclaim your confidence is to put intentional work into recovering it. By using these tips, you’ll get there. Recognize the process can sometimes be slow, but success truly does still lie within your grasp, even after a setback.

 

Never Look at a Failure as Final

Do you know anyone who seems to be bulletproof? You know, that friend of yours that takes failures in stride and is always smiling and moving forward in life. How do they do it? You know they're not immune to setbacks or hardship. They just seem to be able to bounce back quickly. Life's inevitable difficulties don't keep them from living the life they desire.

 

By the way, that person can be you. Mental resilience is something that can be developed. It's not a character trait you have to be born with. Every time you suffer some type of loss or failure, you have an opportunity to respond with resilience and emotional control.

 

If that seems impossible for you sometimes, here's what you need to start doing. Never look at a failure as the final result. Don't let some hardship or difficulty be the final chapter in your story. Or, as famous author F. Scott Fitzgerald said ...

 

"Never confuse a single defeat with a final defeat."

 

That is such a powerful reminder that your outlook is everything. The person with resilience chooses a positive outlook. They understand that negative things are going to happen in their life. Yet they don't allow that to be the end of their journey.

 

They don't embrace any single failure or loss as the final declaration of who they are.

 

Just Take One More Step

 

Resilience means persisting. You keep going. You push forward and see life's difficulties as nothing more than challenges. You can either become stronger and more capable or allow a defeat or failure to be a statement of who you are.

 

This can seem like simple advice, but the truth is, sometimes, the hardship we encounter in life can be truly debilitating. We simply don't see a way out. The worst of possible things has happened, and there's simply no way that we see any good coming from this.

 

When this happens, as it inevitably will in life, just take one step forward.

 

Don't worry about some big end result. You may be in a terrible situation. If you are, just make one positive movement. 

 

Have one positive thought. Move in the direction of a positive outcome. Even if it's miles away, don't worry about that end result. Just take the first step that moves you a little bit away from the difficulty you encountered.

 

Never let any single defeat be your final defeat. The instant you decide to relentlessly push forward, you show the world and yourself that you are a resilient human being. You won't be kept down for long because your unbreakable mental resolve won't allow you to be defined by defeat.

 

Never Look at a Failure As Final

Do you know anyone who seems to be bulletproof? You know, that friend of yours that takes failures in stride and is always smiling and moving forward in life. How do they do it? You know they're not immune to setbacks or hardship. They just seem to be able to bounce back quickly. Life's inevitable difficulties don't keep them from living the life they desire.

 

By the way, that person can be you. Mental resilience is something that can be developed. It's not a character trait you have to be born with. Every time you suffer some type of loss or failure, you have an opportunity to respond with resilience and emotional control.

 

If that seems impossible for you sometimes, here's what you need to start doing. Never look at a failure as the final result. Don't let some hardship or difficulty be the final chapter in your story. Or, as famous author F. Scott Fitzgerald said ...

 

"Never confuse a single defeat with a final defeat."

 

That is such a powerful reminder that your outlook is everything. The person with resilience chooses a positive outlook. They understand that negative things are going to happen in their life. Yet they don't allow that to be the end of their journey.

 

They don't embrace any single failure or loss as the final declaration of who they are.

 

Just Take One More Step

 

Resilience means persisting. You keep going. You push forward and see life's difficulties as nothing more than challenges. You can either become stronger and more capable or allow a defeat or failure to be a statement of who you are.

 

This can seem like simple advice, but the truth is, sometimes, the hardship we encounter in life can be truly debilitating. We simply don't see a way out. The worst of possible things has happened, and there's simply no way that we see any good coming from this.

 

When this happens, as it inevitably will in life, just take one step forward.

 

Don't worry about some big end result. You may be in a terrible situation. If you are, just make one positive movement. 

 

Have one positive thought. Move in the direction of a positive outcome. Even if it's miles away, don't worry about that end result. Just take the first step that moves you a little bit away from the difficulty you encountered.

 

Never let any single defeat be your final defeat. The instant you decide to relentlessly push forward, you show the world and yourself that you are a resilient human being. You won't be kept down for long because your unbreakable mental resolve won't allow you to be defined by defeat.

 

5 Examples Of Social Anxiety

Social anxiety disorder, also known as social phobia, affects around 6.8 million adults in the U.S. Still, many people struggle with this condition. They are not officially diagnosed by a mental health care provider, according to the National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH). 

 

NIMH states that this anxiety disorder can be mild to moderate and sometimes only lasts several hours. It can be long-lasting, preventing you from participating in everyday activities and relationships with others.

 

SAD can be defined as excessive worry and nervousness about social situations and interactions with other people that impact an individual’s ability to function. 

 

Although this condition may seem common, many people don’t understand what it means to have social anxiety or how it manifests itself in day-to-day life. Here are five examples of social anxiety and how you can learn from them to shed light on this topic.

 

1. Speaking in public

 

Public speaking is a common fear, and it's not surprising that it causes social anxiety. Many people fear public speaking because they don't want to be judged and scrutinized by an audience. 

 

These feelings often lead to physical symptoms like increased heart rate and sweaty palms. Speaking in front of a small group or an individual may seem less daunting than presenting in front of hundreds of people. It's important for those with this fear to realize that most audiences have members who feel anxious before making their presentations.

 

2. Going out with friends

 

Going out with friends is an event that can trigger social anxiety. However, this experience doesn't have to be a terrible one. With the right mindset, you can make it a positive experience. Below are a few ways to help manage this anxiety: 

 

• Make your expectations realistic. 

• Plan and know what to expect. 

• Practice what you'll say beforehand to feel more confident when meeting new people.

• Bring a friend or someone you know who's been there before to help introduce you. 

• Arrive early so you don't feel rushed.

 

3. Talking on the phone

 

Phone conversations are one of the most common triggers for people with social anxiety. Feeling anxious about talking on the phone typically stems from a fear that the person on the other end will be judging you. 

 

It's important to remember that this is not always the case and that they may have a similar experience or understanding of what you are going through.

 

Think about why it might bother you to talk on the phone: 

 

• What does it mean if someone calls? 

• What are you afraid might happen when someone calls? 

• Why do those thoughts make you feel uneasy? 

• How does it make your body feel when these thoughts come up? 

• What would need to happen for those thoughts to stop bothering you?

 

4. Meeting new people

 

When meeting new people, it is important to be able to start a conversation confidently.

 

If you are too anxious to do so, try one of these techniques:

 

• Ask the person their name and tell them yours. 

• Compliment the person on their appearance or wearing something. 

• Tell them how much you enjoy their work.

• Bring up an interest in common that you share with the person, such as sports or music.

• The next time you see this person, remember what you talked about so you can pick up where your last conversation left off.

 

5. Ordering food at restaurants

 

If ordering food at a restaurant, you may feel intimidated and scared. Why? You're not sure what to say or how to act. You want the person taking your order to like you, and you're terrified they won't. 

 

You worry that the way your voice sounds is unattractive, that you don't sound smart enough, or that they'll think your voice is annoying. The anxiety that occurs when eating in public: Eating in public can be stressful for someone with social anxiety. It's hard to eat while ensuring no one looks, talks too much, or is too quiet.

 

Final thoughts

 

Social anxiety can make a person feel self-conscious, embarrassed, and even experience panic. It is important to remember that social anxiety is a common condition that many people experience at one time or another. 

 

While it is not easy to deal with, there are ways to overcome social anxiety and improve your quality of life. Remembering these five examples of social anxiety may help you deal with it better in the future.

Are Your Fears Holding You Back?

Fear is an emotion that can hold you back from reaching your goals and levels of success in your career – or even in school. Taking risks is part of everyday life but can be hindered if you are fearful of the unknown. How often do you say no to something just because you are fearful of what you think could happen?

 

Five Types of Fear

 

The top five fears that may be holding you back could include the following:

 

• Feeling inadequate – Do you fear you are not good enough or lack the skills to pursue your dreams? You can overcome this fear by knowing and understanding your importance in a particular area of your life. 

• The unknown – Do you have the common fear of the unknown? You can overcome this fear by having a vision for yourself and your future. 

• FOMO – Fear of Missing Out is when you wish you were doing what others are doing because it looks better than what you’re doing. This type of fear is a distraction that can keep you from forming real relationships. 

• Change – Fear of change can steal your joy and peace. To overcome this fear, take time to enjoy the moment you are in. Doing this can help you appreciate your life and relationships in a deeper manner. 

• Being judged – No one wants to be judged by others and being vulnerable opens you up for the possibility of being judged. Adam Kirk Smith, Author of “The Bravest You” says “embrace your personal story” to overcome this fear. 

 

Fear can be crippling and can hold you back from your true potential. Though you may never live a completely fear-free life, there are ways you can overcome the fears in your life. 

 

It’s important to be open and honest with your fears too. You could even journal those fears so you can write down the ways to overcome them. The majority of fear comes from the unknown or even the thought of taking a risk. No one wants to be judged so it comes naturally to stay away from these types of situations. Lack of self-esteem or self-confidence can be an underlying cause of such fears. 

 

Overcome Your Fears

 

Begin by establishing a purpose for taking a risk; doing so this can remove that fear. Knowing your purpose will help you overcome many fears in your life. Purpose and meaning in life can help you move past your fears and guide you along your life’s journey.

 

Consider using positive affirmations when you are faced with a fear. Knowing where you are and what you want can help move you from a state of fear to a position of success. 

 

Finally, understand that not all fear is negative. Some fear can save your life and help you through a life-or-death situation. According to PsychologyToday.com “Real fear can save our lives, embrace it. Manufactured fear divides us, let it go. And, be sure to give fear the attention it needs so you can distinguish between the two.”

Signs You Might Be Experiencing Impostor Syndrome

Impostor syndrome is defined as, “anxiety or self-doubt that results from persistently undervaluing one’s competence and active role in achieving success, while falsely attributing one’s accomplishments to luck or other external forces.” Now that you know what impostor syndrome is, how do you know if you are living with it?

 

Five Signs You Have Impostor Syndrome

 

Here are five common signs that you are living with impostor syndrome.

 

• You cannot assess your skills and abilities realistically because you are giving yourself unrealistic goals to accomplish. 

• You connect your success to the outcome, giving no thought to the amount of work you put forth.

• You put down your own efforts and accomplishments by shrugging them off as if they were “not that good”. 

• You live in constant fear of failing to meet your own expectations, but fail to acknowledge the goals you’ve reached. 

• You engage in activities that self-sabotage potential success by choosing to deliberately procrastinate. 

 

Many people with impostor syndrome look for ways to protect their ego and self-esteem when faced with tough situations. There are negative side effects to living with impostor syndrome, such as hindering your chance of success by choosing to create a barrier. Some individuals use their limiting beliefs, or feelings of impostor syndrome, for motivation.

 

External Proof versus Internal Thoughts

 

Impostor syndrome keeps you from internally accepting or believing your abilities or successes. The more you accomplish and succeed, the stronger the negative thoughts can become. 

 

Do you struggle with thoughts or feelings of being a fraud in your career or at school? Have you reached a goal yet you don’t feel you did it well enough? These are examples of how individuals with impostor syndrome feel. Even though you accomplished the goal you set out to do, you can’t seem to internally believe it was good enough. 

 

Internal feelings can increase the anxiety and could lead to intense feelings of being a fraud. This creates a vicious cycle and it may require the help of a psychologist or therapist to overcome this phenomenon. If the impostor syndrome is not correctly handled, it can lead to feelings of isolation or even feelings of dread. 

 

Impostor syndrome is often passed down to a person from their family, unknowingly. It may not be evident until later in their teens or adulthood. Another potential cause may be from entering a new career field where you internally compare your skills to those who have been at the job longer than yourself. There could also be a number of external factors that could cause a person to be inflicted with impostor syndrome. 

 

Once you realize you have impostor syndrome, you can take steps to overcome it. Some of these steps include sharing your feelings and fears with trusted individuals. Ask yourself if your thoughts are honest and rational. Assess whether you are comparing yourself to others without even realizing it. Keep in mind that successful people struggle with impostor syndrome and often relate their success to luck instead of hard work. Let your guard down and let others see you for who you really are. 

 

Success Is Not Luck, It’s You!

Do you have feelings or worries that your co-workers or friends will think you're a fraud? Do you often feel like you don’t belong? These are feelings of impostor syndrome and an estimated 70% of successful people experience this in their lives. 

 

Impostor syndrome can cause you to feel that you only accomplished your goals due to luck. Maybe you think you aren’t as good as your boss thinks you are and you worry that you’ll be found out. 

 

Research shows us that both men and women battle impostor syndrome and are unable to acknowledge and own their successes. 

 

Five Patterns of Impostor Syndrome

 

According to the impostor expert Valerie Young and author of “The Secret Thoughts of Successful Women”, there are five patterns that can be found in those who suffer from this phenomenon.

• You set unrealistic goals for yourself and are often considered a perfectionist. 

• You are afraid to speak up or answer questions due to fear of not knowing the answer.

• You are afraid to ask for help because you think you’ll look like a failure to others.

• You feel like a fraud if the answer doesn’t come naturally.

• You push yourself hard than your peers in order to prove yourself. 

 

Individuals that live with impostor syndrome think that things happen to them due to luck rather than their own hard work or abilities. This then leads to a cycle of negative thinking that can hold them back from moving up the corporate ladder. They may even end up working harder than necessary, which could lead to increased feelings of failure or burnout.

 

Change Your Mindset, Change Your Life

 

If you are living with impostor syndrome you may struggle with accepting your own success. Perhaps you feel that you don’t deserve your corporate position or an award of accomplishment. If you can relate to this, then there are some suggestions on how you can fix your inner impostor. 

 

• Change your mindset to accept your shortcomings instead of seeking a perfect outcome with every project or goal. 

• Embrace your imperfections and learn to accept yourself the way you are. Remind yourself that you did your best. 

• Keep a list of realistic goals. If you have a list of goals already then look through them with honesty.

• Believe the effort you’ve put forth regardless of the outcome. You may have worked hard towards a goal just to fall short of the desired outcome. This is an opportunity to accept the outcome and still be proud of the work you put into it. 

• Create a focused goal instead of trying to divide your attention energy between unrelated topics. Be okay with having someone else work on a particular area of a task so you are free to focus on what you enjoy.

 

Impostor syndrome can cause the strongest and most successful individuals to feel like they are not good enough. This syndrome has a negative effect on all areas of your life. So take time to assess where you are and what you can do to move forward in your life. 

What Is Impostor Syndrome?

Impostor syndrome is best described as the fear of being considered a fraud or doubting one's accomplishments. Even those who have reached a level of success in their chosen field are often full of anxiety and crippling thoughts of being considered a fraud. According to the Journal of Behavioral Science, it is estimated that 70% of people in the U.S. experience impostor syndrome. 

 

Impostor syndrome (IS) is an internal feeling that you believe you are not as qualified as other may think you are. This is often connected to thoughts of perfectionism and can be applied to your intelligence or achievement. If you have feelings of being a fraud or that you did not deserve that raise, then you could be dealing with impostor syndrome. 

 

Four Characteristics of Impostor Syndrome

 

Those who suffer with impostor syndrome doubt their own skills and accomplishments despite the evidence of the success. Below are four common indicators you may be dealing with impostor syndrome.

 

• Deep-seated feelings of fear that you aren’t able to meet expectations.

• Undermining your achievements even when you worked diligently towards that goal.

• Setting unrealistic goals and then feeling disappointed if you do not meet those goals.

• Doubting yourself no matter what you’re working on or working towards.

 

If you recognize any of the above, there some things you can do to move past these feelings. Begin by confronting your feelings and any beliefs you hold about yourself. If you struggle with any of this, consider speaking with a professional or close friend. Confiding in someone can help you gain clarity on your feelings and beliefs. 

 

Impostor syndrome can be ingrained in you as a child and continue well into adulthood. Struggling with feelings of being a fraud can happen to anyone but is seen mostly in successful women. According to research done with Psycnet.apa.org, “despite their outstanding academic and professional accomplishments, women who experience the impostor phenomenon persist in believing that they are really not bright and have fooled anyone who thinks otherwise.”

 

Do You Have Impostor Syndrome?

 

So, how do you know if you suffer from impostor syndrome? One way to know if you are dealing with it is to take a free online test. Simply answer the questions that you can find through a quick online search, or try the free test on at Psycom.net.  

 

You can remove impostor syndrome by first recognizing it in your life and seeing how it is affecting you. Progressively work towards breaking those limiting beliefs by thinking of the quality of work you are performing versus the quantity. 

 

If someone pays you a compliment, remind yourself that it is a fact and that you deserve it. Begin to recognize your own successes and take time to celebrate the wins in your life. Eventually your inner voice will support your new positive thoughts so you can overcome the feelings of impostor syndrome.