Showing posts with label Self-Help. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Self-Help. Show all posts

Sunday, 25 September 2022

Life After Divorce: Landing On Your Feet


Someone once said that to move on after a relationship takes half the time you spent together. So, if you were in a one-year relationship, it’s okay if you take six months to wallow and reminisce.

 

Yet, that can be much harder to apply to divorce. The waiting period for getting over a marriage that quite possibly spanned the better part of a decade, probably longer, surely takes time. But, you can’t spend the next couple of years of your life feeling sorry for yourself, crying over the marriage that wasn’t meant to be.

 

Your only option is to find ways to get back up and land on your feet. We’re confident that you’ll find yourself again in your time. But, in the meantime, here are a few tips to help get you started.

 

1. Change Your Viewpoint

 

After you’ve been with your partner for so long, it’s natural to feel like you’ve strayed from who you are as an individual. So, after a divorce, you have to re-adjust the way you look at things.

 

Getting a divorce is no longer the stigma that it once was. Just because you’re not with someone doesn’t mean your life is empty or meaningless.

 

On the contrary, you can schedule more time to spend time with friends and family. In addition, you’ll notice that you have more freedom to choose new furniture and try out new recipes.

 

2. Learn from Setbacks

 

Setbacks are disheartening for anyone. Yet, they seem to be more caustic when you’re going through a divorce because, let’s face it, it’s a pretty painful stage of life. There’s no way to sugar-coat it.

 

But, you can teach yourself to make the most of each setback. For example, painful as it may be, you have to look at what went wrong in your relationship.

 

Don’t lay blame; simply lay out the facts. This way, you can use that anger and disappointment to understand what you want and don’t want in a relationship.

 

You can also take this time to work on your own insecurities and failings. As a result, you’ll move from feeling helpless and weak to feeling more empowered and capable.

 

3. Give Yourself Credit

 

As you pick up your life piece by piece, don’t fall into the bottomless pit of feeling sorry for yourself. Instead, be proud of all your hard work and how far you’ve come.

 

You may still not be at the point in your life where you’re making real progress, but you’ve taken plenty of positive steps forward. Celebrate those.

 

For example, give yourself credit if you’ve just made a phone call you’ve been dreading or learned how to do something that was previously your partner’s domain. Those little successes in your daily life should be valued and celebrated.

 

4. Be Grateful for What You Have

 

One way to land on your feet after a divorce is to count your blessings. Look around you at the things you have and the people who care for you. Register as many positives as you can to help you appreciate your life now just as it is.

 

Then, any time you begin to feel sorry for yourself, remember those moments when you felt unheard and unloved by your partner. You probably felt lonely and dejected.

 

Compare that with the support your friends and family give you. Even if you’re on your own, you now have the freedom to go out and make new friends. You can try volunteering, enrolling in a class, or simply becoming a more active member of your community.

 

5. Schedule Things to Look Forward To

 

After a divorce, you’ll find that you probably have more free time than before. You have to learn how to use that time wisely.

 

Don’t spend it all catching up on chores, work, and running errands. Instead, carve out some time for yourself each day–even if it’s just for five minutes.

 

Doing things that you enjoy, like gardening, painting, or just taking a walk, can help lower stress and anxiety. It can also brighten up your mood and add a bit of happiness to your day.

 

Other ideas include:

 

  • Joining a book club
  • Attend a local art gallery
  • Go to a museum
  • Host game night and invite a few friends over

 

Conclusion

 

Think of divorce as the end of one path and the start of a new one. But on this one, you’ll do most of the walking alone.

 

The trick is to not look at it as something scary. Instead, take this time to rediscover yourself and embark on a new adventure full of exciting possibilities.

 


5 Choices That Support Mental Health


When a person suffers from a mental health illness, such as depression or anxiety, the first-line treatments are usually mental therapies and medicines. What isn't always talked about are the variable lifestyle choices that affect our mental health. 

 

According to Psychology Today, "That’s a lamentable oversight because lifestyle changes—things as simple as nutrition and exercise—can have a significant impact on quality of life, for any of us, but especially for those dealing with issues such as depression, anxiety, bipolar disorder, and schizophrenia. They can also help minimize the development of risk factors that can lead to conditions like diabetes, cardiovascular disease, and hypertension, all of which are seen at higher rates in those with mental illness, the study noted."

 

Making beneficial life choices can be uplifting. While time and financial constraints may restrict a few people's capacities to make such choices, we all can make small but significant changes.

 

Here Are Five Lifestyle Choices To Get You Started:

 

1. Make Healthy Diet Choices

 

According to studies, our diet can impact our mental health, both positively and negatively. According to new research from the University of Warwick, fruits and vegetables are associated with improved mental health. 

 

This is significant because mental well-being—feelings of enthusiasm, joy, self-esteem, and resilience—can help to safeguard not only against mental health issues but also physical illnesses.

 

2. Cut Back On Your Vices

 

Managing problem drinking or substance abuse is a no-brainer in terms of both mental and physical health. People with alcohol and drug problems are more likely than the general population to suffer from a mental illness, and their health outcomes are far worse. 

 

According to the Substance Abuse And Mental Health Services Administration, SAMHSA,

 

In 2020, 50.0% of people aged 12 or older (or 138.5 million people) used alcohol in the past month (2020 NSDUH)

 

Among the 138.5 million people who were current alcohol users, 61.6 million people (or 44.4%) were classified as binge drinkers and 17.7 million people (28.8% of current binge drinkers and 12.8% of current alcohol users) were classified as heavy drinkers (2020 NSDUH)

 

According to the WebMD, side effects of alcohol consumption include:

 

  • Worsening of mental health after the calm feeling fades
  • Hangovers including headaches and nausea and vomiting
  • Post-alcohol anxiety and/or depression

 

3. Spend Time In Quiet

 

We live in a noisy world. When we are outside, we are encircled by cars honking and public noises created by individuals, and the general hustle and bustle of the surroundings. When we are inside all day, such as at a desk, we are encircled by sounds from dialogues, texting, cell phones, office equipment, and so on. 

 

We also have noises from TVs or radios inside our homes. Our phones are always buzzing, with notifications and of course the very loud call of social media. 

 

Getting some quiet private time can do wonders for our mental health. This will result in more focused thoughts throughout the day. You can even try meditation, which promotes mental health.

 

4. Use Stress Reduction Methods

 

Mental illness sustains stress, and stress sustains mental illness. Taking measures to reduce stress in your life can help to break this destructive cycle. 

 

According to LifeHack, "There are many forms of stress. People do not even realize they suffer from stress. Still, the buildup of small and regular negative thoughts and energy could negatively impact your mental and even physical health. Stress can cause poor mental health in various disorders such as depression and anxiety, personality changes, bipolar disorder, problem behaviors, cognitive (thinking) problems, etc."

 

Effective Stress Management Techniques:

 

  • Yoga
  • Meditation
  • Rest and relaxation
  • Progressive Muscle Relaxation
  • Deep Breathing
  • Eliminating sources of great stress
  • Distractions
  • Tai Chi
  • Unplug
  • Spend time doing things that bring you joy

 

5. Discuss Your Problem With Someone

 

If you have things or an issue on your mind, getting it off your chest can help you a lot. It is important to remember that desiring assistance implies strength, not weakness. It has been said that an issue that is partially shared is an issue that is half solved. 

 

When you suppress negative or hurtful thoughts, such as frustration, your mental health suffers. You will feel stressed and tense, and you may not get enough sleep at night. These emotions accumulate quickly, resulting in a somewhat desperate state that you cannot resist, such as depression or stomach ulcers.



4 Benefits of Connecting with Nature


You know how good it feels to get out and relax in nature, right? It’s time out from the stresses of everyday life, space and clean air, to breathe and take some time for yourself. But did you also know that there are scientifically proven health benefits to connecting with the natural world? It’s so beneficial you could even call it nature therapy! Here’s how being in the great outdoors is great for you.

 

Nature reduces stress and anxiety

 

Being out in nature has a measurable effect on your stress levels. They go right down, also lowering your risk of anxiety and depression. Even if you live and work in high rise glass and steel buildings, having a dose of the natural world can help lift your mood, your cognitive function, and your mental health. Whether it’s a walk in the park or even having a plant on your desk or being able to look out of the window, any connection with nature will help. 

 

Connection with nature is healing

 

Studies have shown that even being able to see a natural landscape can help hospital patients recover faster. 

 

It also helps your immune system function better. Scientists have found more than twenty pathways or connections between exposure to nature and improved health, protecting you from heart disease, depression, and diabetes.

 

Nature changes your perceptions of the world

 

Researchers have found that walking through a rural area changed the study participants attitude toward their to-do list. They saw their tasks as more manageable than participants who walked through city streets. 

 

People who exercise outdoors move faster, have a lowered perception of effort, enjoy their exercise more, and are more likely to stick to their routine than people exercising in a gym. 

 

Nature is great for your mental health

 

Remember how good it feels to be near the ocean, a river or a waterfall? That’s because the air near moving water is full of negative ions that can act as natural anti-depressants. It’s the same effect as the change in the air after a thunderstorm when the air is no longer oppressive but clear and fresh. 

 

There are now many studies which show that people living in green areas, or who have access to green spaces in cities, have significantly better mental wellbeing than people who live cut off from nature. 

 

Even having an aquarium, houseplants, or a view onto green space can help. 



Sunday, 18 September 2022

Misconceptions About Negotiating


The pervasive perception of negotiation in the West is more negative than it is in most other places in the world. We imagine men screaming at each other across a boardroom table, spittle flying. But that’s not what negotiation really looks like if you are doing it right. The goal of negotiation is for both parties to get what they want. The aim is to reach a win-win. There are several misconceptions about negotiating that we would like to straighten out here and now.

 

It’s too combative - As mentioned above, negotiation shouldn’t be aggressive or nasty. You don’t need to view it as a competition or confrontation because it’s not. Instead, bargaining is simply an exchange of points and offers. 

 

It’s only for cheapskates - More people are watching their pennies nowadays, and one way to improve your wealth is to negotiate, especially on high ticket items. Why pay more than you need to? How do you think people with a lot of money in the bank got there? No doubt, part of their strategy was to negotiate the price of things when appropriate.

 

It’s improper - Especially in the case of high ticket items, sales people expect you to try to negotiate price. If you own a house, for example, did you settle on the asking price or did you offer less? Same with a car. Most car dealerships state their highest price, knowing that people will ask for something lower. If they get their asking price, all the better. But they don’t expect it. It’s not improper to save money.

 

It takes a certain type of personality - This misconception goes back to believing that negotiating is aggressive. Though it may feel less than comfortable in the beginning, some practice can take care of that. Even shy people can learn to negotiate. It’s a skill that can be learned, not necessarily something you are born with.

 

It’s not worth the time or money - Again, in the case of expensive purchases, it can be well worth your time to negotiate price. Many people who are selling something, whether a company or an individual on Craig’s List set their price high, expecting to bargain. Is it worth your time to shave a few car payments off the life of your car loan? If not, it should be.

 

It’s embarrassing - This misconception is rooted in the fact that most people are uncomfortable negotiating. But all it takes is some practice. You also won’t negotiate on everything you buy. The kid checking you out at a fast food place or movie theater isn’t going to knock down the price. But the salesman trying to sell you a dishwasher probably would. Knowing when to bargain and then practicing it is all that is needed to end the embarrassment.

 


Why It’s Important to Be Able to Debate


When you think of the word debate, you probably think of a somewhat nerdy after-school activity offered in some high schools. But debating isn't just for sport, as it is also known as "arguing." And clearly, arguments have a place in our everyday lives. No matter what you call it, though, it is an important life skill to have for several different reasons. 

 

Debating Helps You Form Your Own Opinion

 

If you've never debated a topic, chances are your feelings about the topic aren't fully formed. When you debate something, it challenges you to think about the topic at a deeper level. And when you think about the topic at a deeper level, it helps you solidify your emotions about the topic. 

 

Debate Helps You Learn

 

Besides just solidifying your emotions about a particular topic, the debate also allows you to learn more about a topic you may be passionate about. Your opponent may make a point that you had never heard of before. However, for this to hold true, you need to make sure you listen when the other person(s) are speaking instead of just preparing your answer while they speak. 

 

Debate Activates Your Brain

 

While debate isn't the only way to activate your brain, it activates a part of your brain that you don't often use. This part of the brain deals with problem-solving and the art of persuasion. When you debate with someone, you exercise both of these skills, crucial to survival as an adult. Even most schools recognize this, so several colleges such as Oxford recommend debate classes for all of their students. 

 

Debate Solves Problems

 

If you have an opinion and never share it with anyone in your life, problems could arise because you haven't made your opinions clear. Debating a topic helps bring everyone's opinions to the forefront in an environment where they are respected. Just make sure you never attack someone else for their beliefs. Only attack the topic at hand so that it doesn’t become personal.

 

These are just a few of the many reasons that it's important to learn to debate. Without knowing how to debate, it's likely an individual will go through life being misunderstood by others and even by themselves, as they may not understand their stance on certain issues. So, if you think this describes you, it’s time to learn how to debate today!

 


Sunday, 28 August 2022

5 Tips to Help You Have More Energy When Socializing


Introvert or extrovert? You wouldn't think it matters, but the truth is, some people thrive on social interaction. Others don't.

 

But even if you're not an introvert, social interactions can sometimes be draining. The problem is these interactions tend to be the ones where you do need to be at your best. Think about the last time you had a job interview or spent time in conversation with a mentor. Even the best conversations can leave you tired.

 

So, how do you turn this around and keep up your vitality for even the most draining social interactions?

 

Imagine Who You Want to Be

 

If you want to have high energy during social interaction, you first need to picture yourself as someone who has this kind of energy. What does it look like? What kind of gestures would you use when speaking? What tone of voice do you use? Do you laugh or smile often? If you can picture the person you want to become, it's much easier to become that person. This might seem like a form of acting, and at first, it might well be, but the more you do it, the more authentic this high-energy version of yourself will become. 

 

Try Being Someone Else

 

Who do you admire who has a lot of energy? This might be an actor or celebrity, or it might be your own best friend. When interacting socially, start asking yourself how this other individual would likely act in the same situation. Do what they do. Again, mimicking high energy has a funny way of becoming high energy.

 

Try Some Coffee

 

This one won't work for everyone, but coffee is a great stimulant. If you know you're going to be needing a lot of energy for an upcoming social situation, why not have a cup of coffee beforehand? You might need to experiment with this slightly to figure out how much coffee gives you an optimal amount of energy without leaving you jittery. 

 

Look Around

 

When attention lags, it's natural to come off as being more low energy. By remaining interested in your surroundings and especially in the people around you, you naturally maintain a higher level of energy. Start taking note of details. This has the added benefit of giving you things to talk about. 

 

Deal with Stress

 

if the energy drains right out of you in social situations, chances are it's because you're stressed. Any time you're experiencing anxiety, your body takes more energy to get through simple tasks. With this in mind, the best way to get more energy for social situations is the deal with the root of the anxiety you're feeling when being social. This might mean dealing with some baggage. It's worth it in the end, though. 

 


How to Make Networking Events Less Stressful


How many people do you know who actually enjoy networking? If you’re like most people, you find it awkward or uncomfortable, and if you’re an introvert, it might even feel excruciating. 

 

But you know that effective networking is crucial for your career, whether you’re looking for a new job, a promotion, or to build your business. Excellent networking skills are essential if you want to get ahead. So how can you make it less stressful? Try these tips to get more out of your network, and maybe you’ll even enjoy it!

 

Do your homework

 

You wouldn’t dream of going to a job interview or an important meeting without preparing, would you? Treat networking events the same. Find out as much as you can about the event, who’s organizing it, and who will be there. Study the sponsor’s website and arm yourself with knowledge, so you have two or three topics of conversation to help break the ice and start connecting with other participants. 

 

Find yourself a role

 

If it’s appropriate, see if there’s any way you can volunteer to help out. If you have some official position, you have a ready-made pretext to connect with people. Make sure to check in with the organizers first, but maybe they could do with some extra people to staff the registration desk or set out welcome packs. Perhaps you could offer to take event photos or live Tweet. At question time, you could help pass the microphone.

 

Take a friend

 

Who says you have to go to networking events alone? It will feel much better if you invite a friend or colleague to share the learnings. Not only will you feel braver about connecting, but you’ll also likely look more approachable than if you’re standing alone radiating anxiety.  

 

Find the key networker

 

You can take the stress off yourself by looking around to find the extrovert, the natural networker who knows everyone. In any big group, there will always be one or two people who are enjoying connecting with people. Find that person and benefit from their positive networking. Follow in their wake, and you will find it much easier to join in the conversation. 

 

Turn it into a game

 

Try taking the heat off yourself by turning networking into a game. Before you go, make yourself a list or even a bingo card of things you want to achieve. Your networking goals can include things like connecting with two people, handing your business card to five people, connecting on LinkedIn to three people. 



Sunday, 21 August 2022

Risk Factors For Alcoholism


Alcoholism goes by several names, including alcohol dependence, alcohol abuse, and alcohol use disorder. Recently, it’s been diagnosed as a disease that happens when someone drinks so much that their bodies become addicted to consuming alcohol. It becomes a craving they can’t shake off, no matter how much they drink.

 

Then, the more they drink, the more they’re affected by it because it causes chemical changes in the brain. These changes make you feel intense pleasure whenever you get a drink.

 

This acute sense of pleasure makes them drink more often, regardless of the harm it causes. As a result, people who suffer from alcoholism will keep drinking even if it means destroying relationships or losing their jobs. Still, it’s not enough to make them stop drinking.

 

Even though the exact cause is still unknown, certain risk factors for alcoholism can increase a person’s risk of developing this disorder.

 

Take a look.

 

5 Risk Factors for Alcoholism

 

Alcoholism is a complex disorder with many underlying causes. Therefore, the factors that impact one person can be different for someone else. The factors that can increase the risk for alcoholism are called ‘risk factors.’

 

Still, you can have one or more of these risk factors and still not develop a drinking problem. Yet, it does make you more susceptible. So, it pays to be extra careful when you’re around alcohol.

 

Below is a list of the five most common risk factors of this debilitating disease, commonly referred to as alcohol use disorder (AUD).

 

Mental Health Problems

 

According to several studies, anyone suffering from a mental health issue is more at risk for developing any type of addiction, including alcoholism. And it’s not just related to alcohol; it can also be an addiction to drugs, opioids, cigarettes, and even food.

 

A Close Relative with Alcoholism

 

If one of your parents, siblings, or another close relative has alcoholism, this can increase the risk of developing AUD yourself.

 

The main reason is the person’s influence on your genetic make-up. Studies show that there are specific genes that react differently to alcohol than others and may even be more vulnerable to its effects.

 

A second important reason is an alcoholic relative can affect your environment. Whether you realize it or not, growing up around alcoholics can determine whether or not you’ll decide to be swayed to alcohol use later in life.

 

Binge Drinking

 

Binge drinking is when a person drinks excessively in a short amount of time.

 

For men, this is in the range of having more than five drinks in one sitting. As for women, it’s about four or more drinks.

 

This type of risk factor is more common in young adults between the ages of 18 to 34. Coincidently, this is the time when college students are dealing with the pressures of school. Then, they graduate and have to deal with the responsibilities of balancing work and life.


Nevertheless, many people over the age of 34 are also binge drinkers. It happens more often when they’re in an uncomfortable setting and feel an urge to ease their anxiety so they can relax and have a good time.

 

Exceed the Average Weekly Limit

 

According to the Dietary Guidelines for Americans, adult men of the legal drinking age can have two drinks or less per day. For women, it’s one drink or less in a day.

 

Alternatively, men who drink 14 or more drinks per week, or more than five drinks per day, are at a higher risk of suffering alcohol use disorder.

 

At the same time, women who drink more than 7 drinks per week are also more liable to suffer from alcoholism.

 

The number of drinks varies from men and women because of the difference in their body composition. It also takes into account how they metabolize food, with women being more vulnerable to the adverse effects of alcoholic beverages than men.

 

High-Stress Levels

 

Stress is a common risk factor for many addictive substances, as well as dozens of mental and physical health disorders, including alcohol use. Research shows that many cases of alcoholism stem from a high-stress situation related to school, work, money, or relationships.

 

Alcohol acts as a sedative. So, when you’re overly stressed, alcohol becomes the only way to handle your negative emotions, allowing you to de-stress and take your mind off your problems.

 

Yet, if left unchecked, excessive drinking quickly turns into an addiction. And all those feelings stay bottled up, leading to more serious mental health issues, such as the ones mentioned above.

 

To Sum Up

 

If you, or anyone you know, has one or more of these risk factors, it doesn’t necessarily mean it’ll lead to alcoholism. Yet, it does mean you have to be extra careful anytime alcohol is being served. For example, start by making a conscious choice to limit your alcohol intake.

 

However, if you suspect that you have a drinking problem, then it might be time to seek treatment. There are numerous treatments to choose from, but all are designed with one aim in mind: to help you take your first step towards a better tomorrow.



Wednesday, 20 July 2022

5 Ways To Stay Fit Without Entering A Gym


Let’s face it, the gym environment (despite the diversity of options for gyms that are present in most places) is not for everyone, either due to personal preference of atmosphere, lack of self-confidence, or possibly simply logistical issues such as time or transportation, but fortunately there are a number of ways that you can stay in shape and get some exercise without ever stepping foot into a gym.

 

Consider the following 5 suggestions that provide a workout in an alternative setting.

 

Hiking/Walking

 

Whether you go to the park closest to you and walk around for 20 minutes, or you take a day trip to whatever state park with hiking trails is most feasible for you, or even if you just take an hour to explore your town or city.

 

Consider it taking yourself on a tour of your town which likely would result in you either re-discovering the town that you call home or learning things about your city of which you were previously unaware.

 

Walking and hiking are excellent ways to get some exercise without going to a gym. Anything from a brief stroll to a vigorous hike will most certainly be worth the time and the effort, and you will be happy that you did.

 

Donate Your Time/Labor

 

Volunteering in a community garden, or with a charitable organization such as Habitat for Humanity, or any other activity of the like will not only get you moving and active without stepping on a treadmill, but the sense of accomplishment and reward that your philanthropic activities will yield will make you feel better both inside and out.

 

Your local Chamber of Commerce or YMCA would likely be able to point you in the right direction when it comes to choosing the volunteer activity that is right for you.

 

Turn Cleaning Into A Workout

 

Basically, most weekly or daily household chores (vacuuming, mopping, general maintenance and cleaning) involve a certain amount of physical activity anyway, so why not turn these tasks that need to be done anyway into a work out of sorts? Accomplishing this efficient use of your energy is as simple as putting on your work-out clothes and shoes, turning on your favorite work-out music, and just putting a little more energy into your movements as you get your house chores done.

 

Take Up A Sport That Suits You

 

Most every town and certainly every city has adult league teams that play a variety of sports such as softball, soccer, basketball, etc. Even if you’ve never played a team sport before, there is a good chance that you will find a sport and team that is appropriate for your skill level and physical ability.

 

And you might be surprised at how much you enjoy your new found activity and the comradery of your team mates, as well as you may discover a talent to which you were previously unaware you possessed which, like volunteering, will not only give you exercise and help you to stay fit but will also improve your mental and emotional health. If you find the right sport and the right team to join, it will most certainly be a win-win situation for you

 

Participate In An Obstacle Course

 

A fast-growing trend in outdoor fitness activities are organized obstacle courses, and there are options for every level of athlete, many of which are also themed which makes them more fun and interesting.

 

Obstacle courses such as Tough Mudder, Zombie Mud Run, Spartan Race, etc. are just 3 of the multiple options of fun obstacle course races that will certainly give you a work out but won’t make you spend time at the gym.

 

SOURCES:

 

http://www.health.com/fitness/10-fun-ways-to-get-fit-without-a-gym#sign-up-for-an-obstacle-course-race

 

http://www.health.com/fitness/10-fun-ways-to-get-fit-without-a-gym#join-a-team

 

https://www.google.com/search?q=obstacle+course+races&rlz=1C1CHBD_enUS790US790&oq=obstacle+course+races&aqs=chrome..69i57j0l5.4464j1j7&sourceid=chrome&ie=UTF-8