How To Use Your Years Of Wisdom For A Better You

Becoming wise takes years of experience. Through our falls and triumphs, we slowly acquire this innate sense of what to do and when.

 

With wisdom, you learn how to learn from your mistakes, rather than be ashamed of them. You become better at knowing when to ask for help and understand that it doesn’t mean you’re weak or helpless.

 

In addition, you evolve into someone more interested in showing compassion and empathy rather than taking a self-centered approach. As a result, you begin to influence others simply by setting a good example.

 

One of the best things about wisdom is that it’s a skill that can be developed at any age. More importantly, is that we can put it to good use in our lives, for example, when we make decisions, build relationships, and nurture success.

 

So, how can you use your years of wisdom for a better you? That’s what we’re here today to find out!

 

Is Wisdom the Same as Knowledge?

 

No, they’re not the same. Wisdom encompasses a lot of things, including knowledge, experience, pattern recognition, empathy, engagement, and more.

 

Hence, without knowledge, you can’t gain wisdom.

 

Here’s why:

 

Knowledge is knowing certain pieces of information regarding specific topics. It acts as the foundation on which we can build our experiences from learning and failing.

 

Wisdom, on the other hand, is the ability to apply and put this information to good use. It can’t be claimed until we can learn and accept our mistakes and accomplishments.

 

Only then can you begin to improve your understanding of the world and make good decisions in almost every situation.

 

At its core, wisdom is realizing that life isn’t knowing all the right answers, but it’s knowing the right questions to ask.

 

How To Make The Most Of Your Wisdom

 

According to numerous studies, researchers discovered that a healthy gut microbiome is typically characterized by phylogenetic diversity and richness. Yet, what was even more fascinating is that they found that these healthy microbiomes were almost always associated with higher levels of wisdom and compassion.

 

Being able to empathize and see things from other people’s vantage points is one of the tenets of being wise. It also allows you to hone in on the needs, motivations, and fears of others.

 

Feel Less Isolated

 

Other studies found that wisdom is often correlated with fewer bouts of loneliness. This probably comes from the fact that wise people are often more tuned in with their emotional needs.

 

They’re also more willing to try new things and meet new people because they know it’s a great way to expand their horizons and open the door to a new learning experience.

 

Establish Personal Boundaries

 

Wisdom also brings with it just the right balance between your personal boundaries and those of others. So, you’re able to make contributions at home, work, and in your community without feeling the burnout that usually comes with taking on more than you can handle.

 

This ability to effectively navigate through life could be one of the factors that wisdom is linked to lower levels of anxiety, stress, and other mental health issues.

 

Foster Emotional Awareness

 

Knowing how to be aware of your feelings and emotions can help you take action when you start feeling things becoming too much to handle. Also, when you’re guided by wisdom, you tend to think before you act.

 

Embrace Change

 

Allowing wisdom to guide you allows you to have a more positive mindset. This makes accepting change and dealing with hard times more effortless.

 

Having an open-minded and hopeful approach to life is also a great way to see things more clearly, which leads to better decision-making.

 

Conclusion

 

Learning how to use your years of wisdom is critical for living a life of fulfillment and success. We listed several practical ways to put your wisdom to good use. Now, it’s up to you to apply them to everyday life.

 

Each one may not be easy to do at first. However, the time and effort you put in to reap the benefits of applying your wisdom will certainly be worth it in the long run.

 

6 Tips For Living With Integrity

Integrity is one of those things that’s difficult to put into words, but we still recognize it when we see it.

 

Still, many dictionaries try to describe it, like the Merriam-Webster Dictionary, which defines it as ‘honesty; honor; uprightness of character or action’.

 

Another definition is a ‘sound, unimpaired, or perfect condition.’ While this definition often refers to the condition of something tangible like the ‘structural integrity’ of a ship, aircraft, or vehicle.

 

This meaning has some relevance to the type of moral integrity we want to discuss in this post. This refers to how goodness is like a moral compass that must be sound and rational.

 

In addition, integrity shouldn’t be impaired by external pressures or difficult circumstances while still being true to clear and constant principles. This is when you can say for certain that your inner and outer lives have come together and merged in unity. Not surprisingly, the word integrity stems from the Latin word for bringing together or making whole, integritas.

 

Your sense of virtue should be unwavering regardless of the situation. This is the type of integrity that earns a good reputation.

 

Here are six tips for living with integrity.

 

Value Fairness

 

Justice and fairness are two vital pillars of integrity. They define how you treat others in your family, community, and workplace.

 

Everyone you meet will have a different perspective than you. And it’s important that you provide them with a safe space to voice their ideas without judgment or criticism.

Unfortunately, not everyone values fairness as much as you. So, it’s difficult to expect the same from others. But by asserting your sense of virtue, you’ll likely inspire others to imitate your positive behavior.

 

Define Your Core Values

 

Knowing where you stand on various topics can help you determine your values and principles. Do you value compassion and forgiveness? Or do you prefer to stand up for injustices no matter the situation?

 

Most times, we’re trained to do as we’re told and follow the teachings of those who came before us. However, you can do a bit of soul-searching to find out what your instinctual values are, and what you believe in your heart to be right and wrong even if no one comes right out and tells you.

 

Surround Yourself with the Right People

 

We all have people in our lives who don’t follow a virtuous path. Their moral compass seems to be off course and they’re fine with it.

 

These are the ones you should limit contact with as much as you can. Rather, surround yourself with people that you trust and respect and who value honesty and fairness like you.

 

And when you’re not sure what to do, ask them for help. They’ll help you see things from a different perspective so that you can make sound decisions that have a positive effect on your life for years to come.

 

Speak Your Truth

 

Over time, living with false beliefs will make you lose your true identity. In situations like this, you’re not just lying to yourself; you’re also lying to the people closest to you.

Being true to who you are and speaking your truth is the first step to living with integrity. It means that you’ve managed to integrate your core values with your actions. And, when it’s time to make a decision, whether big or small, your moral compass will easily guide you in the right direction.

 

Avoid Shortcuts

 

In this busy day and age, it’s getting easier and easier for people to get things done by cutting corners. Yet just because no one is looking doesn’t mean it’s right.

 

Living with integrity means being accountable for the work you do. This means not just getting the task done but doing it to the best of your ability without cheating by using shortcuts or cutting corners.

 

Find Your Purpose

 

Be willing to recognize that being alive means you have the ability to choose how you want certain aspects to turn out. This includes realizing your passions through exploration and discovery.

 

Even if one path ends up taking you off-course, that’s fine. Start a new path and enjoy where it takes you, making mistakes and learning along the way.

 

One way to find your purpose is to ask yourself these questions:

 

• What do I want to achieve in life?

• What do I need to do to reach my full potential?

• What makes me happy?

• What are my skill sets and how can I use them to help others?

 

6 Techniques Uncommon People Use Which Push Them Toward Success

Being uncommon doesn't seem very hard when you think about it. If you start with a sincere desire to do your best, add a strong belief in yourself, and keep a positive attitude throughout it all, you've gotten this down.

 

But how can you use being uncommon to get ahead? Typically, uncommon people tend to succeed in high numbers. But why?

 

Offer Just a Little Bit More

 

Uncommon people really do want to give their best. This includes finding a little bit extra to push them over the top when working or playing. Uncommon people look for the extra bit of customer satisfaction they can give. They also will go out of their way in relationships. 

 

Add in Some Encouragement

 

Uncommon people look for ways to build others up rather than tear them down. By being a motivator, they, in turn, wind up motivating themselves. It's hard to keep an uncommon person down. With a little encouragement, they really do accomplish great things.

 

Look for the Lesson

 

Did you mess up? Be uncommon in how you handle the situation. Instead of assigning blame, it's better to understand the disaster critically. What can you learn here? How will this affect you going forward?

 

Do Things Your Way

 

Uncommon people don't worry about how other people are getting their work done or try to adjust their process to match everyone else's. In fact, more often than not, these people are the ones who've worked out unique ways of getting the job done, which others later tend to adopt because they're so effective. 

 

Be Ready to Pivot

 

Having a plan is great, but every uncommon person knows how to adapt to changing circumstances. When you're able to show off this flexibility, those around you notice and appreciate your willingness to change. Especially if this shift involves looking outside the box for solutions.

 

Know People

 

An uncommon person doesn't stick to themselves. Instead, they get out there and meet people. While anyone can network, this person invests in relationships. That is why they always seem to know the right person at the right time. This doesn't mean you need to make everyone your bestie. It does, however, mean getting to know people beyond their business cards. Start by taking an interest and enjoying real conversations with people beyond "What do you do for a living?"

 

The takeaway here is fairly simple. Uncommon people aren't chasing success by ticking items off a list. They're finding it by taking an active interest in the world around them and in what they're doing. Isn't that the better way?

 

Personal Autonomy: Strengthening Your Ability to Be Independent

Lately, the discussion has been focused on how to reach a level of personal freedom in your life that helps you achieve life goals. Being independent and practicing personal autonomy has its advantages, like having no one to answer to but yourself.

 

it encourages you to become self-aware while taking in the big picture. So, you’re not just focused purely on your needs, but you recognize that you’re part of a thriving community, with certain responsibilities, privileges, and freedoms.

 

Interested in finding out how your personal autonomy can strengthen your ability to become independent? Then, keep reading!

 

What Is Personal Autonomy?

 

There are several ways to describe personal autonomy, from being free to follow your heart to having a sense of determination and self-endorsement. Yet, the simplest explanation is that personal autonomy is your ability to act on your interests and core values.

 

Having that drive to keep you on track makes it easier to live on your own terms and live according to your desires and personal beliefs rather than being goaded to conform to someone else’s beliefs.

 

Yet, at the same time, personal autonomy requires a high degree of responsibility. You have to make informed decisions and learn how to back them up and take ownership of things when anything goes wrong. 

 

It also means that you’re able to manage yourself and take initiative when needed. It’s all about getting things done consistently without needing anyone to remind you.

 

How Can Personal Autonomy Strengthen Your Ability to Be Independent?

 

Now that we know what personal autonomy means, let’s look at some ways it can help boost your independence.

 

Have Initiative

 

Having personal autonomy means trying new things. They don’t have to be big things; they can even be trying that new coffee spot you’ve been eyeing for a couple of weeks.

 

Then, step by step, you’ll be able to go on to larger tasks. For example, you can try getting ahead start on a work presentation earlier in the week to avoid having to deal with that dreaded deadline looming overhead.

 

You could also show initiative at work by taking on additional tasks or doing a bit of research on your own regarding a certain project.

 

Initiative doesn’t have to be at work only. Why not take up a DIY project you’ve been wanting to try out? How about volunteering several hours a week at a local shelter or soup kitchen?

 

Get Organized

 

Being organized doesn’t just mean tidying up your workspace, picking scattered documents off the floor, or alphabetizing your bookshelf. Don’t get me wrong, all that sounds great! But it’s not enough for personal autonomy.

 

To actually become independent, you need to learn how to organize and manage your time and money. Luckily, dozens of life-saving apps can help you do just that.

 

Start by writing down all the things you do during a typical workday. Then, expand it to a whole week and eventually to an entire month. Don’t forget to schedule how long each task or activity takes. Also, remember to include any chores, errands, appointments, or sports events going on during that time.

 

An independent person is capable of efficiently mapping out their schedule. They’ll also be able to remove or postpone certain tasks if things get too hectic.

 

Be Responsible

 

We also talk about being responsible, but what does it actually mean?

 

Basically, responsibility is knowing what you have to do, getting it done on time, and taking credit for your hard work. You’re dependable, you honor your commitments, and keep your word no matter what.

 

That’s the cheerful side of responsibility. You’ll know you’ve made it when you feel that you’re on top of your game and everyone is singing your praises.

 

Yet, it’s not always so bright and cheery, especially when you have to muster up the courage to hold yourself accountable instead of coming up with excuses or blaming others when things don’t go as planned. Let’s be honest here, sometimes that can be easier said than done.

 

Yet, as soon as you admit that you were wrong about so-and-so, or that you failed to meet certain deadlines, you’ll instantly feel better. Then, you’ll be able to move on from that and work towards fixing what needs to be fixed.

 

Developing Willpower And Self-Control To Change Behavior

Willpower and self-control are crucial ingredients for success, transformation, and mastery. So, how can you develop each one to change your behavior and thought process for the better? Keep reading to find out.

 

Willpower

 

The spiritual leader and activist, Mahatma Gandhi, said, “Strength doesn’t come from physical capacity. It comes from an indomitable will [power].” Yet, what exactly is willpower?

 

Basically, willpower is your ability to turn down and curb inner conflicts, such as short-term temptations, to meet long-term goals.

 

Say you want to supersize your takeout order or smoke a cigarette. But, deep down, you know you shouldn’t.

 

Or it could just as easily be the reverse. Maybe there’s something you know you should do, but keep procrastinating to avoid doing it, like going to the gym or filing your taxes.

 

When you reach this crossroads, that’s when your willpower kicks in. This instantaneous reaction stems from the prefrontal cortex (PFC), which is the front section of the brain responsible for regulating our behavior and decision-making abilities.

 

So, the first thing you need to do to develop your willpower is to keep your prefrontal cortex in good shape by:

 

• Getting quality sleep each night

• Eating a nutritious, well-balanced diet

• Exercising 3–5 times a week

• Managing stress

 

Can We Run Out of Willpower?

 

Interestingly enough, experts say that we have a finite stockpile of willpower. You start your day with only so much and the more you use it, the faster you run out.

 

Take, for example, trying to control your temper on your way to work, at work, then on your way back home from work. You also use up your willpower when you try to ignore distractions, help your kids with their homework, and negotiate a compromise with your partner.

 

Just like our actual muscles, our willpower gets worn out from all that repetitive use.

 

How to Develop Your Willpower

 

Check out these tips to increase your reserve of willpower.

 

• Learn breathing techniques

• Practice daily affirmations

• Meditate each day

• Focus on what’s important now by postponing what you shouldn’t do for later

• Limit your intake of addictive substances, like alcohol and nicotine

 

Self-Control

 

Self-control is defined as the “restraint exercised over one’s impulses, emotions, or desires” and works side-by-side with willpower. When you practice self-control, you direct your willpower toward the outcome you want.

 

This means that at times, you’ll have to not do something, like when you want to eat healthy and pass on the supersize meal. It also means that there will be times when you have to put in a conscious effort to dosomething, like building good habits or getting started on those taxes.

 

Ego Depletion

 

And, as with willpower, it’s also finite. In other words, each time you use self-control, your power to make sound decisions gradually diminishes until you start again the following morning. This is what experts refer to as ‘ego depletion’ and it happens because you spend most of your waking hours trying your best to focus on making decisions and exerting your willpower.

 

So, it’s no surprise that by the end of the day, you feel depleted and exhausted, and probably find it difficult to think coherently, let alone be able to make choices you won’t regret in the morning.

 

How to Develop Self-Control

 

Luckily, there are ways to improve your levels of self-control and reduce the impact of ego depletion. Many of them rely on the same techniques used to boost your willpower, like getting good sleep and managing stress, while others are slightly different.

 

Take a look.

 

• Learn how to regulate your emotions.

• Practice self-compassion.

• Become aware of your wants and needs to direct energy toward self-improvement.

• Manage your time and energy more efficiently.

• Create short and long-term goals to stay motivated.

 

How Avoidance Actually Creates More Stress

When you have an especially difficult or stressful task on your plate, it can be very tempting to avoid completing said task. Or if you don’t like to think about a subject because of an experience, it can seem easier to just not think about that topic. Both of these situations are known as avoidance, and though it may be tempting to engage in this behavior, it causes more stress than it relieves. 

 

You Won’t Stop Thinking About It

 

If you’ve ever experienced trauma, it can be tempting to avoid all thoughts of things that may remind you of the trauma you experienced. Although this may be less painful in the short run, the truth is, long term, this will stress you out more because the thoughts of your trauma will always return until you genuinely learn to deal with them rather than avoid them. The same holds for certain physical tasks. You may put them off because you don’t want to think about them, but this will only stress you out more because you will have to keep thinking about the task instead of simply completing it now.

 

You’ll Run Out Of Time

 

When you put off a task, you may momentarily relieve your stress by telling yourself you will complete the task later. But this is worse than doing the job now because later you will experience more pressure as you are faced with a fast-approaching deadline. This is especially true if you haven’t left yourself enough time to complete the task and have to rush at the last minute. 

 

Avoidance Creates Conflict

 

Maybe a coworker is waiting for you to complete your work so they can get started on theirs. And if you didn’t leave yourself enough time before the deadline, you may cause them to be late on meeting their deadline as well. This can cause a conflict between you as your coworker may be upset that you made them late. And when you experience conflict in your relationships, this only adds to your overall stress level rather than lowering it.

 

Although it can be extremely tempting to avoid certain tasks or put them off, this is a flawed approach as it will only cause you more stress in the long run. This is because avoidance doesn’t solve any problems. Instead, it just creates conflict, which leads to increased stress in the future.

 

If You Want Less Stress and Anxiety, Learn to Empathize More

Stress is a killer. You might hear someone say, "The stress at my job is killing me!" They could be overstating the situation. In many cases though, stress can quite literally kill you.

 

Chronic stress is related to the six leading causes of death. It's believed that more than 75% of all trips to the emergency room or a doctor are stress-related. So the next time a friend tells you stress is killing him, you might want to take that statement seriously.

 

Ask anyone you know and they'll tell you of a stressful situation they experienced recently. This is an unfortunately common occurrence. You might have too much stress in your own life.

 

For a number of reasons, you can benefit from stressing less and relaxing more often. If that sounds like something you'd enjoy, just learn to empathize more.

 

How Empathy Leads to Less Stress and Depression

 

An empathetic person can place themselves in the emotional experience of someone else. That's the first part of empathy. The part of the empathetic process some people forget is responding in a way that's helpful.

 

You see a coworker has a huge workload. She's stressing out and you know there's no possible way she can hit a proposed deadline. You communicate to her that even though her productivity is excellent and she's a great worker, you don't know how she's going to get everything done. 

 

You just paid her a compliment. You saw her emotions were frazzled and she wasn't in a good place mentally. So, you said something nice about her ability on the job.

 

The next thing you can do after you identify with her situation is to provide assistance. Offer to help her tackle some of her responsibilities. When you do, your coworker will thank you. She'll experience less stress, and science tells us that you'll also have less stress, anxiety and depression.

 

When you learn to recognize that someone else is experiencing negative emotions, you want to help. This is the response for most people. What also happens is that you subconsciously recognize that you're not in that situation. You can understand your coworker's emotional stress, but you aren't experiencing the same thing yourself.

 

Dr. Jamil Zaki is a psychology professor and the director of the Social Neuroscience Laboratory in Stanford. He says empathy can help you see past the many differences people have. It helps you move past prejudice or bias. These are negative emotions. They can produce a stress response in your body. Empathy doesn't allow that to develop.

 

Dr. Zaki also says empathy makes people happier in their relationships and even more successful at work. Studies show us that an empathetic person learns how to process his or her own emotions properly by being able to recognize the emotions other people are going through. That means being more empathetic in your life cannot only help others, but it can also give you a wonderful boost of less stress and more peace of mind.

 

Never Look at a Failure As Final

Do you know anyone who seems to be bulletproof? You know, that friend of yours that takes failures in stride and is always smiling and moving forward in life. How do they do it? You know they're not immune to setbacks or hardship. They just seem to be able to bounce back quickly. Life's inevitable difficulties don't keep them from living the life they desire.

 

By the way, that person can be you. Mental resilience is something that can be developed. It's not a character trait you have to be born with. Every time you suffer some type of loss or failure, you have an opportunity to respond with resilience and emotional control.

 

If that seems impossible for you sometimes, here's what you need to start doing. Never look at a failure as the final result. Don't let some hardship or difficulty be the final chapter in your story. Or, as famous author F. Scott Fitzgerald said ...

 

"Never confuse a single defeat with a final defeat."

 

That is such a powerful reminder that your outlook is everything. The person with resilience chooses a positive outlook. They understand that negative things are going to happen in their life. Yet they don't allow that to be the end of their journey.

 

They don't embrace any single failure or loss as the final declaration of who they are.

 

Just Take One More Step

 

Resilience means persisting. You keep going. You push forward and see life's difficulties as nothing more than challenges. You can either become stronger and more capable or allow a defeat or failure to be a statement of who you are.

 

This can seem like simple advice, but the truth is, sometimes, the hardship we encounter in life can be truly debilitating. We simply don't see a way out. The worst of possible things has happened, and there's simply no way that we see any good coming from this.

 

When this happens, as it inevitably will in life, just take one step forward.

 

Don't worry about some big end result. You may be in a terrible situation. If you are, just make one positive movement. 

 

Have one positive thought. Move in the direction of a positive outcome. Even if it's miles away, don't worry about that end result. Just take the first step that moves you a little bit away from the difficulty you encountered.

 

Never let any single defeat be your final defeat. The instant you decide to relentlessly push forward, you show the world and yourself that you are a resilient human being. You won't be kept down for long because your unbreakable mental resolve won't allow you to be defined by defeat.

 

5 Types of Negative Self-Talk and How to Stop Them

We like to think we’re optimistic, positive people. After all, no one wants to be considered a grump. Besides, isn’t that what we’re taught from the time we’re children, to smile and think the best of those around us?

 

In truth, we don’t always quite hit the mark. We might mean to be positive, but those negative thoughts have a way of creeping in, especially if we’re tired or anxious. Strong emotion has a way of derailing us, as do the negative influences around us. In short, we’re constantly being broadsided by negativity, and we can’t help but respond in kind. 

 

How do we learn to recognize when our self-talk is turning negative and stop it before it gains a foothold in our lives? We start by learning how to identify the most common culprits.

 

Black and White Thinking

 

The minute you start using ‘all’ or ‘nothing’ statements you’re already falling into a negativity mindset. When this comes up, the best thing to do is to remind yourself the world doesn’t really work that way. In fact, there are more shades of grey than you might think.

 

Tunnel Vision

 

When you can only see the bad in everything, it’s no wonder you can feel lost in a sea of despair and negative self-talk. Here you see the world as only negative and seek out proof by pointing out every flaw or failure. This is defeated by rewording the statements as they come up. Look for the positive spin you can put on things. 

 

The Disaster Plan

 

When you can only see the negative outcome in everything. For this, accept that sometimes, failure happens. You can even use dire predictions to work out a ‘plan B’ in case you need one, but also remember to remind yourself there’s also a chance of success in what you try. There’s no reason to assume the worst.

 

Anticipation

 

In this, you assume you know what someone else is thinking, and it’s never good. To combat it? Try having an honest conversation with the person instead. Let them speak for themselves. They might even surprise you. Again, quit assuming the worst.

 

The Guilty Conscience

 

You messed up. Once. A long time ago. It’s time to let it go. For some people, their brains are expert at bringing up the past, regardless of how much time has passed or what you’ve done to correct the mistake. Here you need to remind yourself of the lessons you’ve learned. Remember, the past is in the past. Look forward, seeing the possibilities. Let go of the rest.

 

The world really is a more wonderful place than you might have realized. When you let go of negative self-talk, you’re giving yourself the ability to try out a new frame of mind and see just how good things can be. Embrace positivity. Discover what the world has to offer!