The Purpose of Others Can Help Define Your Purpose

It’s confusing not to know what your purpose is. You may believe you are supposed to be a police officer. But, that just defines your job. It’s not necessarily a purpose. Helping people would be closer to a purpose while the job of police officer helps you accomplish that.

 

You may want to define your purpose more accurately than just stating you help people. However, perhaps you can’t seem to get a grip on any definition. When this is the case, try to determine the purpose of others.

 

If you read the profiles of many of your idols, you will start to see a theme forming. This theme will likely resonate with you and get you closer to your purpose. For instance, you may believe that a certain president was a great motivational speaker and you have always admired that. By learning more about his or her life, you can gain some insight about why they can motivate. The story is as important as the trait of being a motivator. Perhaps part of your purpose is to motivate others.

 

When you are researching or observing others, you need to delve deeper into their backgrounds. The research will reveal what situations they faced and what kind of people they were before becoming successful. You may even uncover information that is not so flattering about your idols concerning their past. But it is insightful. It also shows that these people are not super humans and fallible just like everyone else.

 

Sometimes, you can gain insight into people you would not consider to be idols. They may have opposite views, which you find contentious and even offensive. However, they became the way they are for a reason. Again, their story will help you see a new perspective. It may change your biases and preconceived notions on how people are not as different as you believed.

 

The idea behind learning about the purpose of others is not to become like them. It’s to find some similarities and differences between your purpose and theirs. When you see similarities, this can explain your purpose. When you see differences, you can use this to try to look at life from a different angle.

 

You don’t want to use this information as some formula that you can plug in a computer which then spits out what your purpose is. You need to use it more as a guideline and how it can help you seek new paths in your quest for purpose.

 

6 Reasons why Finding Your Purpose Matters

At first glance, it might not seem important to live your life with purpose. After all, so long as you get through the day and are reasonably happy or content, it's all good, right? Not really. Without purpose you're missing out. 

 

What happens when you try to live your life without purpose? 

 

Purpose Gives Drive

 

Purpose gets us going and makes us eager to start the day. Without purpose, you might feel your day is aimless to the point where there's no reason to try setting goals. Left unchecked, this can affect mood and even lead to depression. It's no wonder purpose is one of the most important things to drive us forward.

 

Purpose Builds Relationships

 

Purpose is one of those things which really bring people together. Having common interests and goals creates strong bonds. Without purpose, you might find it harder to connect to others, especially on a deeper level. 

 

Purpose Gives Direction

 

Decisions can seem difficult sometimes when you have no purpose. When you are not working toward a goal or interest, it's easy to waver or let others lead the way. But purpose means you weigh decisions against what's important to you, meaning you honor yourself. More important, you keep to your own set of values every time you're faced with a choice.

 

Purpose Gives Value

 

Without purpose, you might wonder whether you're making a difference. In contrast, purpose tells you you're making a difference and adding something to the world with every action that honors this purpose.

 

Purpose Reduces the Need to Keep Up with Others

 

If you worry about what others are accomplishing, it's probably because you're unsure of your own purpose. With purpose, it becomes less important what those around you are doing because you're more interested in your own personal journey.

 

Purpose Reduces Stress

 

We experience stress most when things around us feel out of control. With purpose, you know your direction and have a pretty solid idea of what you need to do to get where you want to go. Even more important is how purpose helps you get back on track if you're sidelined for a crisis, giving you firm direction and control when things around you feel like they're out of your hands. This all reduces stress and helps you deal with challenges calmly and reasonably.

 

With purpose, your life changes for the better. It's no wonder taking the time to figure out what you're all about is crucial to a healthy and happy life. Take the time for yourself. You won't regret it.

 

The Stress Relieving Value of Accepting Your Differences

Were you ever teased as a child? A lot of us were. Some kids will make fun of others who are fatter or skinnier, taller or shorter, or different in some other way. They, unfortunately, learn this behavior from adults who likewise chastise their colleagues, friends, and others for nothing more than being different.

 

This becomes a big problem when several children attack another child and declare some difference to be negative. When this behavior is ongoing, the different child can begin to feel low self-worth. After all, if everyone is telling her that she's different and that her differences aren't good, they must be right.

 

Why else would they all be saying the same thing? That child becomes upset with the person she sees in the mirror. Why is she overweight? Why is her skin different from others? Why wasn't she given the intelligence that all her friends have? This leads to self-doubt, low self-esteem, and in some cases, risky and unsafe behavior.

 

Stress Is a Killer, but It Doesn't Have To Be

 

Obviously, that's a very stressful scenario. Unfortunately, this is a common situation for not just children but teens, young adults, and even older grown-ups.

 

It causes so much stress, both physical and mental. The stress starts to build up because the differences are seen as negative. The marvelous, unique individual that was created is not allowed to be who they really are. They try not to be themselves.

 

On the physiological side of the equation, this chronic stress produces chemicals that lead to anxiety, depression, and other negative feelings. Ask any doctor, and they'll tell you stress is related to most chronic illnesses and many major causes of death.

 

Your differences don't have to be stressful. They shouldn't be. When you embrace who you are, you realize you have much to offer the world. You're fine just like you are right now. This leads to confidence and less stress. You aren't as anxious about trying to please others by fitting into some silly idea they have of who you should be.

 

Your confidence and self-esteem go up when you accept and love your differences. 

 

You'll also find that certain people in your life want to manipulate you rather than accept who you are. Perhaps you should move on from these people and spend more time with supportive individuals who encourage your uniqueness.

 

Be happy with who you are. You're the only "you" that will ever be created. There will never be another human being exactly like you. When you embrace that fact and look at your differences as advantages, you'll suffer less stress and anxiety and enjoy more self-love, fulfillment, and success.

 

A Simple 3-Step Process to Practice More Empathy

An empathetic person can identify with what someone else is experiencing. They may have had the same experience before. This isn't necessary to practice empathy. You might just be very good at putting yourself in another person's mindset.

 

Someone tells you they lost their job. They're going through so many different negative emotions. They're concerned about their mortgage payment and other financial issues.

 

A person that loses a dream job could start wondering what happened. It took them a long time to get the job they always wanted. They might have been a great employee. Then something occurred that was out of their control. Perhaps the company went bankrupt.

 

This individual could start questioning his own role in the failure of the company. A ton of different negative emotions might be experienced. The empathetic person is able to fully embrace the emotions the other person is going through even if they've never lost a job before.

 

You might want to help your friends and family members by displaying more empathy. You care about them and want to help them when they're in need. If that's the case, simply put into practice the following three-step technique for showing empathy.

 

Step 1 – Listen Actively

 

You might be a good listener. But are you an active listener? Do you just sit there with a blank expression and take in everything that's being said?

 

An active listener uses body language, facial expressions and eye movement to let the person speaking know that they're engaged and present. They are truly and deeply listening. 

 

You use open-ended questions to try to get more information from the speaker. Active listening uses anything at your disposal to get the speaker to share more information. You communicate to that person that their feelings are understood.

 

Step 2 – Validate the Experience

 

People often tell you what's on their minds because they want you to validate what they're saying. They need to know that it's okay to have certain feelings or think a specific way. When you validate a tough situation, someone's experiencing, you let them know they're not alone.

 

You validate an experience by adopting the same feelings and emotions. Tell the person that you're sharing the experience with them and that it's okay. They should recognize whatever emotions are happening. Then the empathetic person tries to figure out what can be done to fix the problem.

 

Step 3 – Offer Advice

 

Empathy is a two-part process. You take on the perspective of another person. You develop an understanding emotionally of what that person is going through. The second part involves action. You provide assistance of some kind. You try to help the person with their struggle. 

 

One way you can do this is by offering smart advice. Remember to think about their situation and not yours. Don't include any bias or judgment. Put yourself in their shoes and then give them advice to help them out of their problem.

 

Showing empathy means you care. It tells people you're putting your own interests aside for a while. The three-step process we just covered can help you show empathy to the people you care about. You'll find that you benefit as much as they do by making an emotional connection.

 

8 Techniques That Stop Anger in its Tracks

You can’t believe they did it. Of all people, turning on you this way. You want to react in kind, drawing on the anger flowing through you to lash out. Make the other person hurt every bit as much as you do right now.

 

Wait a minute. You can’t. You’re not that person. You don’t want to BE that person. You’re better than this.

 

But how do you stop anger in its tracks before it gets the best of you?

 

Take a Walk

 

The physical act of walking will burn off some of the adrenaline while getting outside, giving you a distracting change in scenery. And it works even better if you’re walking away from the object of your anger. Sometimes all you need is some space.

 

Pay Attention to your Muscles

 

Like walking, exercise is good. Also, anger tends to tighten you up, so a good stretch, or even better practicing progressive muscle relaxation, will knock the tension out.

 

Say Something

 

Choose a pet phrase or mantra which calms you. Say it several times, slowly, and deliberately to put your focus elsewhere.

 

Visualization

 

Escape somewhere else. Remove yourself from the situation that has made you mad and find a quiet place where you can visualize something peaceful. Build in as much detail as you can to make it as real as possible. Stay in this vision until you feel yourself start to calm down. 

 

Do Something Grand

 

Take your anger and turn it into activism. How can you use this to change the world? Sign (or start!) a petition. Volunteer. Get involved in the community and make the world a better place. 

 

Write About It

 

Journaling can help you to work through your emotions in a way that might even help prevent you from getting mad the next time around. Understanding what it was about the event which triggered you will help reshape the trigger entirely.

 

Switch Perspective

 

It can be hard to use empathy when you’re upset. But if you can see things from their perspective, it might help you to calm your response. Many times, anger comes from misunderstanding the situation.

 

Forgive

 

This technique falls under expert level of anger management. By being the bigger person and forgiving the other, you’ll find you no longer have reason to be mad at all.

 

The key to all of these is simple: don’t let anger take control. The last thing you need is for you to fall under the power of negative emotion. Use the anger to make a better place or let it go entirely. In the end, you’ll be happier you did.

 

5 Steps to Shift Your Limiting Beliefs for Good

How are you your own worst enemy? We limit ourselves so much. We live in our heads and come up with all these ways to keep us from getting anything accomplished. Even though deep down we know we're good enough, and how much we're fully capable of getting things done. 

 

The only way to get past these self-sabotaging behaviors is to take active, intentional steps to remedy your thinking. Let's look at 5 steps that will shift your limiting beliefs for good. 

 

Stop

 

Wait a minute; what were you thinking? If a thought feels off about something, it's time to stop and examine this idea much closer. Is this perhaps a self-limiting belief? 

 

Think About What You're Saying

 

Where is the lie in this thought? You've already figured out there's something wrong with it, or you wouldn't be going through this process. This means something about it is not ringing true. When you understand where the lie is, it becomes easier to know how to counter it. 

 

Look for the Proof

 

Is there any proof this self-limiting thought is true? Let's examine the part you feel is a lie. Here's where you need to take a step back from the situation if you can and look very impartially at what's going on. Is any grain of truth in what you're thinking? 

 

Take Control

 

If what you were thinking is a lie, it's relatively easy to counter the false aspects of the statement with the truth. But what if this thought was at least partially true? You start by reminding yourself this isn't always the case. For example, you might be thinking you are always late. Maybe you are, in fact, late sometimes. To perform this step, you would need to recall various instances when you were on time. By countering the lie, you are taking control of the situation, and not allowing the limiting belief to have any sway over you. 

 

Get Help

 

Sometimes it can be challenging to remove limiting beliefs by yourself. In these instances, it can be beneficial to talk to a friend, or even a counselor, to help you see the truth. There is nothing wrong with getting help, especially from someone who is in a position to be impartial.

 

Self-limiting beliefs don't have to control your life. By examining your thoughts, especially those that seem to hold you back, you will find it much easier to move forward toward your goals. Soon you will realize success.

 

5 Steps To Defeat Perfectionism Once and For All

We all have moments where we fall into perfectionism. For some of us, this might happen kind of often. For others, it's reserved for those special occasions where we have a project where we can't rest until we get it right.

 

While occasional super-attention-to-detail is okay, it’s when we make perfectionism a way of life where it becomes a problem. Those are the times where we finally need to take charge of our lives and learn how to let go.

 

Try this:

 

Start at the Core

 

Why are you so wrapped up in perfectionism? Are you truly trying to become a better person somehow, or are you just trying to impress someone else or meet expectations from those around you? Neither of these reasons is very healthy, and both need to be addressed.

 

Drop the “Should”

 

The moment you start using this word in a conversation, especially regarding your action, you're already driving yourself crazy. Remind yourself you don’t need validation from anyone. You’re good just by being you.

 

Rewrite the Script

 

What are you telling yourself as you throw yourself into perfectionism? Do you think this is the path to success? Or do you have other unrealistic expectations of the outcome? Here's where you switch up your self-talk to get out of any negative spaces and unrealistic outcomes.

 

Drop the Comparisons

 

Speaking of self-talk, just who are you holding up as role models? Has this too become unhealthy, going from "I want to be more like them" to "Why can't I have everything they do?” Wouldn’t it feel better to celebrate where you are right now and all the effort you’ve been putting into things?

 

Show Some Mercy

 

Perfection never allows for excuses. If you can't succeed, you're automatically a failure. By chasing imperfection, you learn the value of self-forgiveness and the ability to let go of your mistakes in favor of embracing the lessons you can learn from them.

 

You wouldn’t think these steps are all so very important at first glance. After all, is chasing imperfection worthwhile?

 

The answer is a resounding, "Yes!" Perfection is what pulls us away from others and gets us so tangled up inside with worry and stress about getting things right; we negatively impact our mental and physical health. 

 

With this in mind, isn’t it time to let go and enjoy life once and for all?

 

5 Steps for Using Visualization to Get What You Want in Life

What do you want out of life? For some of us, it’s personal improvement. We’d like to lose weight, become stronger and more physically able. Maybe we’d like to achieve something in the world of sports, by winning a race or even running in one. 

 

For others, our goals have to do with our jobs. We want a coveted position, or to seek out something that satisfies on some deeper level. Or maybe it’s to create something, such as writing a book or learning how to paint.

 

Whatever it is you desire most, the question is, how do you intend to go about getting it? The key? Visualization.

 

Visualization takes a goal and makes it concrete and even attainable in our minds. This process is how we bring it about in our lives. How? 

 

Figure Out Your Goal

 

You’ll go nowhere fast if you don’t know where you’re heading. It’s a lot like getting in a car and expecting to get somewhere without a destination. All you’ll do is wind up driving aimlessly and getting nowhere fast. To find your goal, ask yourself what you’re passionate about. What’s the one thing you want to do more than any other?

 

Explore the Details

 

Next, you’re going to want to explore the goal in depth. Experience it thoroughly by using all of your senses. What do you see when you envision it? How does it feel? What does it smell like or even taste like? What do you hear when you think about it? What emotions come alive in you when you think about reaching this goal?

 

Plan for Roadblocks

 

It would be silly to think a goal could be achieved without any kind of trouble along the way. What are the problems you’re most likely going to encounter in this journey? How can you solve them? Include this in your vision.

 

Visualize it Repeatedly

 

You need to be familiar with your dream if you wish to achieve it. Visualization is something you need to practice several times a week. Make a daily practice of visualization. Be consistent in this.

 

Boost Your Success

 

Still floundering? Try starting visualization with a relaxation exercise. Make sure to cut out distractions, whether internal or external, and layer in a little pep talk to bring up your energy. Your best success comes from setting yourself up to succeed from the start.

 

By using these tips, you’ll quickly master the fine art of visualization. Remember, this only works if you’re consistent. Stay the course, and soon you’ll be finding success in whatever it is you wish to pursue.

 

Never Look at a Failure as Final

Do you know anyone who seems to be bulletproof? You know, that friend of yours that takes failures in stride and is always smiling and moving forward in life. How do they do it? You know they're not immune to setbacks or hardship. They just seem to be able to bounce back quickly. Life's inevitable difficulties don't keep them from living the life they desire.

 

By the way, that person can be you. Mental resilience is something that can be developed. It's not a character trait you have to be born with. Every time you suffer some type of loss or failure, you have an opportunity to respond with resilience and emotional control.

 

If that seems impossible for you sometimes, here's what you need to start doing. Never look at a failure as the final result. Don't let some hardship or difficulty be the final chapter in your story. Or, as famous author F. Scott Fitzgerald said ...

 

"Never confuse a single defeat with a final defeat."

 

That is such a powerful reminder that your outlook is everything. The person with resilience chooses a positive outlook. They understand that negative things are going to happen in their life. Yet they don't allow that to be the end of their journey.

 

They don't embrace any single failure or loss as the final declaration of who they are.

 

Just Take One More Step

 

Resilience means persisting. You keep going. You push forward and see life's difficulties as nothing more than challenges. You can either become stronger and more capable or allow a defeat or failure to be a statement of who you are.

 

This can seem like simple advice, but the truth is, sometimes, the hardship we encounter in life can be truly debilitating. We simply don't see a way out. The worst of possible things has happened, and there's simply no way that we see any good coming from this.

 

When this happens, as it inevitably will in life, just take one step forward.

 

Don't worry about some big end result. You may be in a terrible situation. If you are, just make one positive movement. 

 

Have one positive thought. Move in the direction of a positive outcome. Even if it's miles away, don't worry about that end result. Just take the first step that moves you a little bit away from the difficulty you encountered.

 

Never let any single defeat be your final defeat. The instant you decide to relentlessly push forward, you show the world and yourself that you are a resilient human being. You won't be kept down for long because your unbreakable mental resolve won't allow you to be defined by defeat.

 

5 Creative Ways to Build Better Focus

Building better focus cannot be found in a step-by-step guide. It is a process, one that is filled with starts, stops, leveling up, and many missteps along the way. In fact, improving your focus might just be one of the most challenging things you can try to do in the Twenty-First Century. We have limitless distractions, stress from home and work, and information flying at us 24/7.

 

Below you will find a list of creative ways to work on improving your focus. But what you must remember throughout all the steps is to take inventory consistently. Notice your mental state, what is distracting you, and why is it distracting you. Taking the time to stop and take stock will give you feedback on what is and isn’t working for you, as well as how you are improving along the way.

 

1. Consider Your Attention

 

Throughout the day, stop and consider how much attention you are paying to the task at hand. Are you fully focused? Or are you only half working on a project while the other half of your brain thinks about lunch?

 

2. Consider Your Mood

 

Consider your mood throughout the day and why it may be that way. This should be paired with your attention to what you are doing. Are you anxious while you only half-think about the project? Are you annoyed and typing an email? 

 

3. Write Down Your Distractions & Look at Them

 

Every time you catch yourself being pulled away from the task at hand, write down the distraction and what you were doing, then get back to work. At the end of the day, look back on what distracted you and when. You may be able to pinpoint weak points in your day and find ways to remedy those distractions.

 

4. Stop and Breath

 

Ever feel like you’re being pulled in ten different directions? Are the distractions flooding at you becoming overwhelming? Stop and breathe. Clear your mind for a few moments, write it all down, and make a plan. While you may not be able to solve all the problems, at least you can do your best to work through each one with a clear mind.

 

5. Visualize

 

You can use visualization at any time to clear your mind and focus on one thing. This will allow you to push away distractions and build your mind’s ability to concentrate for a lengthened time. You can visualize colors, images, anything that you focus your mind on.

 

Building better focus is not a race. It is a journey that takes time and patience. Consider incorporating creative, focus building exercises into your daily routine.

 

For More Productivity and Better Outcomes, Stay in the Moment

Do you remember when multitasking was all the rage? In the 1990s, self-professed productivity gurus told us to constantly juggle multiple tasks. We were told that most big achievers in life could do several different things at once, all of them successfully and at a high level of productivity.

 

Best-selling books talked about multitasking to improve virtually every aspect of our lives. We were told we could do so much more in less time, giving us more free time to do whatever we wanted.

 

After a few years of generating billions of dollars in self-improvement sales, multitasking was unmasked.

 

It was found to be a productivity killer. Millions of people woke up to the reality that the best way to get something done is to do one thing at a time. Focus on a single task until it is completed. Then begin tackling something else. This was and still is the single best way to maximize your time and minimize your effort.

 

Giving All Your Attention to the Current Moment Is All about Focus

 

One of the oldest carpentry axioms tells us to "Measure twice, cut once." This minimizes errors. You don't spend more money than you need to on lumber. You're not wasting money on wood you miscut because you were in a rush with your measurement.

 

In other words, the entire focus is on the present moment. That moment is measuring the piece of lumber you are about to cut. You're not thinking about an upcoming vacation or what you'll eat for dinner. That can cause you to make a mistake. Nothing else should exist except whatever it is you're going to be cutting.

 

Then you measure it again. Your focus is so intense on getting this right that you understand the importance of double-checking your work. This is a simple example of living in the moment. The best carpenters are present in their current actions. They understand that letting their minds wander could lead to an incorrect measurement. That means having to buy more materials to replace their mistakes.

 

A lack of focus on carpentry could also mean smashing your thumb with a hammer. Or worse, if you aren't paying attention while using a saw.

 

We use these real-world examples of the importance of focus to help you appreciate living in the current moment.

 

You'll improve productivity if you focus on the "right now" slice of your life. It's really all you have control over, isn't it? Your past is behind you, and your future is far from guaranteed or controllable. Start spending more time in the present moment, totally immersed in your current existence, and you'll see more productivity and better results in your life.