How To Practice Mindfulness: 5 Simple Techniques For Living In The Moment

Quite often, you probably think about your past and worry about your future. That makes it hard to enjoy life in the present. Learning to be mindful and living in the moment will help you appreciate your life more, and reduce those feelings of anxiety, stress and depression. 

 

Here are 5 techniques to help you practice mindfulness and live in the moment: 

1. Take note of your current surroundings. 

 

The first step in living in the moment is to notice your surroundings. You may not often take the time to look around and see what goes on around you. Sit down and take a deep breath. Then look at everything around you. 

• If you are indoors, what do the walls look like?

• What patterns do you see in the ceiling and floor?

• How many windows are in the room?

• How many ceiling lights or other lights can you see from your position?

 

When you stop and look more closely at your surroundings, and take in all that is around you, then you are more equipped to live in the moment. 

 

2. Begin to use self-care activities.

 

Another thing to put you in the present moment is doing activities that bring you joy and bring forth positive emotions. You might engage in a hobby you like, walk in nature, or spend time with family or friends. These activities all may make you feel happiness and a focus on the present moment. 

 

You need also to be mindful of your typical daily routine. Make some time for activities of self-care, like eating healthy meals or doing breathing exercises. 

 

3. Try to detach yourself from your phone whenever possible. 

 

In this age of smartphones, it seems that we live in fear of having idle time. You may grab your phone while waiting for a friend to arrive for lunch, or while you wait at a doctor’s office. 

 

Break that habit. Allow yourself to just sit and look around you, instead of checking in on social media. You can start this new habit when you wake up in the morning. After you get out of bed, don’t go for your phone immediately. Enjoy a few moments of peace and quiet and have a cup of tea or coffee. Or you can spend time in the morning with your family before the computer and phone call to you.

 

4. Use simple breathing exercises.

 

Mindful breathing may sound simple, but it’s a powerful tool to use when you manage your emotions, learn to live in the moment and improve your mental wellness. 

Breathwork has the ability to teach you how to pay closer attention to the sensations your body experiences daily. It usually has you focus on inhaling and exhaling, along with the sound your breath makes and the ways in which your body responds to breathing. 

5. Let go of your worry. 

 

It’s easy to say, “don’t worry,” but much harder to accomplish. Worrying today is not going to change what you encounter tomorrow. Each second spent worrying about your future is one second you have wasted in the present. Worrying removes you from living in the present and leaves you thinking about all the possibilities in your future. In that state, you cannot live in the moment. 

 

If you have circumstances that trouble you, focus on the ways you might solve existing problems now. Improve the moment you’re in. When you spend time focusing on what could happen in the future, it robs you of the experience of what is occurring now. Each moment in your present life moves very quickly – you don’t want to miss it. 

 

Conclusion

 

When you practice mindfulness to help you live in the moment, it can enhance your daily life. It promotes other positive emotions like contentment, happiness and gratitude. You can cultivate this skill if you are dedicated, and practice mindfulness consistently.

 

Using the techniques in this article, you can begin to live in the moment instead of worrying about the future. 

 

References

 

https://psychcentral.com/blog/what-it-really-means-to-be-in-the-present-moment#tips-for-being-more-present

https://www.betterhelp.com/advice/general/simple-tips-for-learning-to-live-in-the-present/

https://www.verywellmind.com/how-do-you-live-in-the-present-5204439

 

Mind Over Matter: The Science Behind Mental Toughness

Mental toughness means many things, and one of the most important is the ability to identify and then control your emotions, so they won’t distract you from performing at your peak level. 

 

This skill is flexible and under your control, so you can develop mental toughness as you would build muscle. It can be trained, and you can make it stronger. It’s up to you to determine how you can train your own mental toughness. 

 

Mental toughness includes the cultivation of intentional actions.

 

You cannot increase your brain size directly, but you can improve the way it functions. You can build on your brain’s ability to properly process information, then perform your daily tasks more efficiently. 

 

Today, everyone is bombarded by an overload of information and so many distractions. This makes mental toughness essential. Some strategies for sharpening your focus include: 

 

• Engage in more physical activity. Exercise will help to improve your brain function. It also allows you to counteract a sedentary lifestyle that modern technology encourages. 

• Balance your use of technology. Use it in a mindful way. Technology can enhance your efficiency, but don’t let it replace memory exercises and critical thinking. 

• Develop stronger social connections. These interactions may boost cognitive function and mental health.

 

Small physical wins help in the development of mental toughness.

 

It’s often thought that mental toughness is all about the way you respond to the most extreme situations. Yes, these situations will test your perseverance and courage, but what about circumstances you run into every day? 

 

Mental toughness must be worked on, in order to develop and grow. If you don’t push yourself in smaller ways, you will not perform at your best when things become difficult. 

 

Choose to do extra reps in your mental exercise, even if it’s easier not to. Choose creation even when consumption is simpler. Choose to ask extra questions when you could just as easily accept the information already provided. Prove to yourself in small ways that you have the guts to battle it out with the hardships of life. 

Use small, frequent wins to build your mental toughness. Take time to make informed decisions every day, to build the muscle of mental toughness. Mental strength is always desirable, but you can’t simply think to build that toughness. Your physical actions prove the strength of your mental fortitude.

 

The science of resilience and how to build mental toughness. 

 

Resilience is not something that everyone has in equal amounts. It can vary in one person, from one experience to another. You can cultivate resilience at any age. When you learn to be more resilient, it can aid you in developing vital life skills, helpful in navigating the challenges you face.

 

The science of mental toughness is multifaceted and complex. It encompasses psychology, genetics, neurobiology and more. If you understand the factors contributing to resilience, and the ways by which they can be cultivated, you can improve your mental toughness. 

 

Conclusion

 

In your quest to develop mental toughness, it’s important to remember that you can be “too tough.” If you build up excessive mental toughness, it may lead to anxiety, burnout, and an unhealthy balance in work and in your life overall. You need to properly manage it. 

 

Some people think they need to push right through every challenge in life. In actuality, you need to be self-aware about how much you can handle and when to slow down and ask for help. Mental toughness actually sometimes appears like you’re saying “no.” If you don’t meet every single goal every day, you need to understand that’s ok. 

 

Resources

 

https://jamesclear.com/mental-toughness

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/how-do-you-think-about-that/202407/mind-over-matter-sculpt-your-brain-transform-your-future

https://rewirefitness.app/science/the-science-behind-mental-toughness/

https://www.clearmindcounselingsd.com/blog/the-science-of-resilience-unveiling-the-secrets-of-mental-toughness

 

3 Common Patterns of Self-Sabotage

It seems difficult to believe that people might do things not in their best interests. This behavior sometimes happens again and again. Don't people want to do what's best for them? Why would anyone knowingly take action in a way that has caused them some negative outcome in the past and threatens to do the same thing again?

 

This is what self-sabotage is. It's frustrating because it's often repetitive. A person continues to make decisions that produce a less-than-enjoyable result. Sometimes the person is so aware of what's going on that they will jokingly refer to the problems they will face if they act in some way (or don't act).

 

This happens because when we continually make choices that don't produce the greatest results, we are often driven by psychological or emotional influences. This can make it tough to spot self-defeating behavior. If you want to create more positive results in your life, keep an eye out for these three common patterns of self-sabotage.

 

1. Being a Perfectionist

 

You might think that attempting to be perfect is a positive trait. It really isn't. The people that succeed at the highest levels in their fields understand that they always need to push themselves, but they are also aware that perfection doesn't exist. 

 

You can always improve in some way. It makes sense to strive to improve in areas of your life because you know this can improve the quality of your life. That's admirable. 

 

A problem develops when this becomes an all-or-nothing mindset. It keeps you from taking action or getting involved in opportunities because before you even get started, you don't see the potential for a perfect outcome.

 

2. Embracing Extremes

 

Perhaps you never say no when a friend asks a favor. Before you know it, you have so many responsibilities that your life suffers. You place others before your needs. Maybe you lack moderation in some other way. Moderation helps you avoid self-sabotage that can cause problems in many aspects of your life.

 

3. Trying to Do It All Yourself

 

We all need help from time to time. The self-saboteur refuses to admit this. If you don't get help when needed, this can lead to failure. You have no one to blame if turning to your friends or loved ones for help is all you would have needed to be successful instead.

 

Remember that perfection doesn't exist in the human condition. Strive for moderation and steer clear of extremes. Get help when you need it. These are simple ways to avoid destructive and damaging behavior that can keep you from experiencing positive results.

 

Understanding What's Causing Your Self-Sabotaging Behavior

The English word sabotage has French origins. In the late 18th century, French laborers demanding better working conditions would make noise by beating their wooden shoes together. They would also throw these shoes, called sabots, into machinery to stop production as a protest.

 

A saboteur was someone who made noise with sabots. It wasn't until 1897 that Emile Pouget, a famous French anarchist of the time, wrote about the "action de saboter un travail," or "the action of sabotaging or bungling work."

 

The word “sabotage” these days is linked to those early definitions of its roots by referring to a deliberate action to cause disruption, obstruction, or destruction.

 

That means that self-sabotage is us getting in our own way. We consciously or unconsciously keep ourselves from achieving a goal. This destructive behavior can affect any area of a person's life and is difficult to stop without a plan proven to keep you on your path to success.

 

Understand, Stop, and Act Differently

 

Think about times when you did something that acted against your best interests. These were times when whatever you did caused some of the following feelings.

• Anger

• Emptiness

• Frustration

• Stress

• Loneliness

• Rejection

• Humiliation

• Self-Doubt

• Pessimism

• Failure

• Guilt

• Shame

We all experience these emotions at one time or another. When you consistently find these feelings arising because of something you've done and continue to do things that create these feelings, you might be working on a set of marching orders you gave yourself as a child.

 

Self-sabotage is most often caused because of unresolved psychological and emotional issues. Psychiatrists tell us that what influences our behaviors as adults is our upbringing. You could have encountered some situations when you were a child that still subconsciously makes you react in certain ways.

 

Knowing this is good. If you know a process leading to a negative result, you can destroy the process and get a positive outcome instead. Here's what to do.

 

Understand That Negative Programming Is at Work

 

Have a conversation when you catch yourself about to do something, and it's a behavior that has caused negative feelings and problems in your life. Remind yourself that some past issues may be causing you to believe that you deserve a negative consequence.

 

That's what's at work often when we do things that sabotage our lives. 

 

Once you understand that this is a negative process at work in your life, you have the power to make a different choice. Start looking for situations where your unconscious, knee-jerk reaction or conscious decision might lead to a negative outcome. Understand that you control your choices and that there are healthier options you can consciously choose.

 

Stop

 

Once you understand a self-sabotaging process might be at work, stop. Take some time to consider all your potential choices and their possible outcomes. If you can, walk away from making the choice right away. 

 

Look at your past. If you've faced similar situations, what decisions did you make, and what were the results? Instead of acting quickly and instinctively, which is sometimes not the best thing to do, stop and take some time to back away from taking action.

 

Act Differently

 

Here's where you have to be strong. You are going to be resisting very strong impulses. The first few times you do this, it will be very uncomfortable. You have lived with certain instincts for so long and given in to them, and now you'll fight them.

 

Be proud of yourself. You've made a conscious decision to understand what's going on. You know that you could instinctively be making some bad decisions. You stopped and backed away from the process, giving yourself time to think about multiple decisions and their outcomes.

 

Now you have a chance to act differently than you used to. Remember, if you want to enjoy something different than what you had in the past, you will have to do different things than you've been doing. This is the power of acting differently from your instinctive influences that, for whatever reason, are trying to hold you down or create a negative outcome.

 

Practice Makes Perfect

 

Changing decades of behavior is not going to happen overnight. The more you go through this process, the better you will become. You'll start identifying self-sabotaging thoughts and instincts and stopping yourself before you act upon them.

 

You should understand that making decisions that will lead to a better result can feel very uncomfortable. That's okay. This is a sign that you're trying to change emotional or psychological hardwiring that's been going on for a long time. Practice makes perfect. Keep at it. The fact that you want to stop self-sabotaging behavior means you have the mental and emotional resolve to do that.

You Can Beat Self-Sabotage with Self-Awareness

 

Is there some aspect of your life where you seem to have a blind spot? You catch yourself continually doing something that causes negative results. After you have endured failure or some negative emotion yet again, you promise yourself it won't happen in the future.

 

Then what happens? You find yourself back in the same situation.

 

You are far from a person who is out of control. You're a rational person. Most of your life is under control, and many people who care about you often remark they are jealous of your many positive character traits.

 

So why is it hard to create a positive outcome in a particular area of your life?

 

It isn't that you are lazy or don't have a strong desire to create change. It's not that you haven't put in the time or effort, either. If you often continue to underperform in some aspect of your life, it's because you are holding yourself back.

 

There Are Many Reasons for Self-Sabotage

 

Some people sabotage their own efforts because of a fear of failure. They stop trying when they are close to success because they are afraid they won't be able to get past that failure emotionally if they fail. So they stop trying.

 

Self-sabotage also happens because of psychological or emotional programming. Something that happened previously in your life is subconsciously leading to negative habits and actions. You may consciously desire to achieve something, but your efforts, no matter how hard you try, are sabotaged by negative mental programming.

 

Sometimes we get in the way of our best efforts because success might mean leaving our friends and loved ones behind. We may create such a great reality that the people we care about have no place in our new life. That can be a scary future to think about.

 

Self-Awareness Takes Honesty, and That Can Make You Uncomfortable

 

We move through much of our lives in a zombie-like state. Modern life is busy, hectic, and full of distractions. You might not have enough time to reflect deeply about who you are and what you do.

 

It's important to be aware of everything when you are working towards some goal. You might not be able to stop your actions beforehand. In this case, ask yourself what you did that kept you from being successful? Do you notice patterns that continue to create negative experiences in your life?

 

Do you ever have thoughts of not being good enough? After you embrace positive emotions and get motivated to make some big change, what slows you down? Why don't you keep moving forward with those powerful, positive feelings?

 

When you take action to create something positive in your life, be honest with yourself. What is your thought process? Are you trying to sabotage your results before you even get started? If you notice negative programming at work, remind yourself you can embrace any beliefs. 

 

Choose to believe you can succeed and continue to operate with that idea firmly in your mind.

 

Over time this self-awareness can help you identify self-sabotaging beliefs and actions that keep you from goal achievement. This can take time, but it's worth the work. It gives you power over unconscious mental programming and allows you to choose a success mindset instead.

Why Are So Many People Unhappy with Their Image?

When you look in the mirror, are you happy with what you see? If the answer is no, you aren't alone because many people, men, and women alike, are unhappy with their image. But why is this?

 

The Media

 

The number one reason people are unhappy with the image they see when they look in the mirror is because of the unattainable bodies of celebrities that are shown in the media. 

 

First of all, these photos are all edited. There isn't a single photo of a celebrity that doesn't have a filter or airbrushing on it, even if it is somewhere other than Instagram. Not only that, but many celebrities have had body-altering surgeries, which means what you are looking at isn't natural, and it isn't how they were born to look.

 

Society

 

Even if you avoid all the media hype, this doesn't mean people don't feel pressure from other people to hate their image. Family members and friends can often be the first ones to point out imperfections with your body, and it is your body image that suffers because of it. They might not even say anything, but you can see how they look, and you probably still compare yourself to them, wishing you looked more like them.

 

Poor Mental Health 

 

It isn't right to blame society and the media, however, because the way you perceive your body is uniquely yours. This means that although you may have some outside influences, only you can change your mind about how you feel about your body. If you have a poor body image, this means that your mind probably isn't where it needs to be. Yes, it's good to cut out the negative media and toxic friends and family from your life, but you also need to engage on a mental journey to find out why you can't accept yourself. Nothing will change with what you perceive until you change your mind.

 

Overall, men and women all over the world are unhappy with their image. Much of this can be attributed to media and society. However, never forget that a good body image truly starts from within. This means that if you want to have a good body image, you need to work on your mentality first. Only then can you truly change the way you feel about the person in the mirror. 

 

5 Signs You Might Be a People Pleaser

Has someone told you that you are a people pleaser? It might be true, but it's a good idea to get a second opinion if you aren't sure. Below are 5 signs that you might be a people pleaser - consider these to be your "second opinion." 

 

1. You Can’t Say No

 

Your friend has asked you for a favor for the 10^th time. Your boss just asked you to stay late again. Both of your divorced parents want to see you for the holidays. A people-pleaser says yes to all of these people because they can't seem to say no to anyone.

 

Not saying no means you are definitely a people pleaser, especially when you say yes to things that you know aren't going to work out. 

 

2. You Constantly Wonder What Others Think

 

Are you always worried that your friends might hate you? Or that your significant other doesn't see you in the way you want them to see you? These anxious thoughts are a sure sign of people-pleasing behavior. Thoughts like these cause you to please others before taking care of yourself.

 

3. You Feel You Never Have You Time

 

Self-care is important, and most people-pleasers find they simply don't have the time. Mostly because they are too busy saying yes to everyone else. Take a look at your schedule. Do you have time penciled in just for you? If not, you're probably a people pleaser. 

 

4. You Feel Bad Saying No

 

Okay, so maybe you can say no, and you have before. However, did you feel bad or guilty when you said it? You have every right to say no, and you shouldn't feel bad doing it. If you do, this is another sign that you are a people-pleaser. 

 

5. You Constantly Apologize

 

Are you always apologizing for everything, even stuff that may not be your fault? This isn't healthy and means that you are probably a people-pleaser. People-pleasers want people to like them no matter what, which can lead to them apologizing for things they didn't just to make sure they stay in the person's good graces. 

 

Did you find that three or more of these things described you and how you feel? If so, you are likely a people pleaser. If you don't want to damage your own health pleasing others, it's definitely time to accept that you are a people pleaser and begin looking for help to overcome your people-pleasing ways. 

 

7 Reasons Why You Don’t Set Boundaries and How to Start

You’ve gotten roped into staying late at work. Again. Or you’ve committed to something that you didn't want to but felt you had to. Now you’re beating yourself up because you know you should have better boundaries, but you don’t seem to understand how to form them. What do you do?

 

First, you need to realize that having problems setting boundaries is normal. We have a lot of reasons why we don’t like setting boundaries:

 

1. Fear. The number one reason we don’t do anything is generally fear. When you don’t know what the outcome is going to be when you first set that boundary, it’s bound to be terrifying.

 

2. It would be selfish. After all, why should your needs come before anyone else’s?

 

3. Taking care of yourself is unusual. This point is an extension of the last one. Not only is self-care selfish, but it would take time and resources from caring for others. Forgetting of course, that we can’t take care of anyone if we don’t take care of ourselves first.

 

4. Someone’s going to get mad at you. Which of course will lead to conflict and maybe even a confrontation. You might find yourself thinking that setting a boundary in these situations is just not worth it. 

 

5. Doing it the other way is a habit. It might be that you’re used to being asked to stay late at work – every day. Now it’s a habit to stay. The problem is, habits are hard to break, which means setting that boundary doesn’t just involve putting your foot down but changing an entire way of thinking. 

 

6. There’s a price to pay for saying ‘no.’ If other people trample over your needs to get their own needs met, then when you do say no, you know there’s going to be a negative repercussion. And who needs that kind of commotion in your life?

 

7. It’s not all that important anyway. Is it? That has more to do with self-esteem than anything. And yes, your boundaries are just that important.

 

So how do you go about setting boundaries when that’s unusual for you?

 

• Start by asking for what you want – and be specific.

• Be open to compromise.

• Have an exit strategy if they say ‘no.’ What will you accept?

• Be ready emotionally for a negative response. Not everything will be a ‘yes.’

• Don’t take rejection personally.  

 

Boundaries don’t have to be terrifying. Understanding why you don’t set them is the first step toward establishing positive change. When you use what you know to set solid boundaries for yourself, you will discover peace and happiness that you never knew was even possible.