The Stress Relieving Value of Accepting Your Differences

Were you ever teased as a child? A lot of us were. Some kids will make fun of others who are fatter or skinnier, taller or shorter, or different in some other way. They, unfortunately, learn this behavior from adults who likewise chastise their colleagues, friends, and others for nothing more than being different.

 

This becomes a big problem when several children attack another child and declare some difference to be negative. When this behavior is ongoing, the different child can begin to feel low self-worth. After all, if everyone is telling her that she's different and that her differences aren't good, they must be right.

 

Why else would they all be saying the same thing? That child becomes upset with the person she sees in the mirror. Why is she overweight? Why is her skin different from others? Why wasn't she given the intelligence that all her friends have? This leads to self-doubt, low self-esteem, and in some cases, risky and unsafe behavior.

 

Stress Is a Killer, but It Doesn't Have To Be

 

Obviously, that's a very stressful scenario. Unfortunately, this is a common situation for not just children but teens, young adults, and even older grown-ups.

 

It causes so much stress, both physical and mental. The stress starts to build up because the differences are seen as negative. The marvelous, unique individual that was created is not allowed to be who they really are. They try not to be themselves.

 

On the physiological side of the equation, this chronic stress produces chemicals that lead to anxiety, depression, and other negative feelings. Ask any doctor, and they'll tell you stress is related to most chronic illnesses and many major causes of death.

 

Your differences don't have to be stressful. They shouldn't be. When you embrace who you are, you realize you have much to offer the world. You're fine just like you are right now. This leads to confidence and less stress. You aren't as anxious about trying to please others by fitting into some silly idea they have of who you should be.

 

Your confidence and self-esteem go up when you accept and love your differences. 

 

You'll also find that certain people in your life want to manipulate you rather than accept who you are. Perhaps you should move on from these people and spend more time with supportive individuals who encourage your uniqueness.

 

Be happy with who you are. You're the only "you" that will ever be created. There will never be another human being exactly like you. When you embrace that fact and look at your differences as advantages, you'll suffer less stress and anxiety and enjoy more self-love, fulfillment, and success.

 

How Avoidance Actually Creates More Stress

When you have an especially difficult or stressful task on your plate, it can be very tempting to avoid completing said task. Or if you don’t like to think about a subject because of an experience, it can seem easier to just not think about that topic. Both of these situations are known as avoidance, and though it may be tempting to engage in this behavior, it causes more stress than it relieves. 

 

You Won’t Stop Thinking About It

 

If you’ve ever experienced trauma, it can be tempting to avoid all thoughts of things that may remind you of the trauma you experienced. Although this may be less painful in the short run, the truth is, long term, this will stress you out more because the thoughts of your trauma will always return until you genuinely learn to deal with them rather than avoid them. The same holds for certain physical tasks. You may put them off because you don’t want to think about them, but this will only stress you out more because you will have to keep thinking about the task instead of simply completing it now.

 

You’ll Run Out Of Time

 

When you put off a task, you may momentarily relieve your stress by telling yourself you will complete the task later. But this is worse than doing the job now because later you will experience more pressure as you are faced with a fast-approaching deadline. This is especially true if you haven’t left yourself enough time to complete the task and have to rush at the last minute. 

 

Avoidance Creates Conflict

 

Maybe a coworker is waiting for you to complete your work so they can get started on theirs. And if you didn’t leave yourself enough time before the deadline, you may cause them to be late on meeting their deadline as well. This can cause a conflict between you as your coworker may be upset that you made them late. And when you experience conflict in your relationships, this only adds to your overall stress level rather than lowering it.

 

Although it can be extremely tempting to avoid certain tasks or put them off, this is a flawed approach as it will only cause you more stress in the long run. This is because avoidance doesn’t solve any problems. Instead, it just creates conflict, which leads to increased stress in the future.

 

If You Want Less Stress and Anxiety, Learn to Empathize More

Stress is a killer. You might hear someone say, "The stress at my job is killing me!" They could be overstating the situation. In many cases though, stress can quite literally kill you.

 

Chronic stress is related to the six leading causes of death. It's believed that more than 75% of all trips to the emergency room or a doctor are stress-related. So the next time a friend tells you stress is killing him, you might want to take that statement seriously.

 

Ask anyone you know and they'll tell you of a stressful situation they experienced recently. This is an unfortunately common occurrence. You might have too much stress in your own life.

 

For a number of reasons, you can benefit from stressing less and relaxing more often. If that sounds like something you'd enjoy, just learn to empathize more.

 

How Empathy Leads to Less Stress and Depression

 

An empathetic person can place themselves in the emotional experience of someone else. That's the first part of empathy. The part of the empathetic process some people forget is responding in a way that's helpful.

 

You see a coworker has a huge workload. She's stressing out and you know there's no possible way she can hit a proposed deadline. You communicate to her that even though her productivity is excellent and she's a great worker, you don't know how she's going to get everything done. 

 

You just paid her a compliment. You saw her emotions were frazzled and she wasn't in a good place mentally. So, you said something nice about her ability on the job.

 

The next thing you can do after you identify with her situation is to provide assistance. Offer to help her tackle some of her responsibilities. When you do, your coworker will thank you. She'll experience less stress, and science tells us that you'll also have less stress, anxiety and depression.

 

When you learn to recognize that someone else is experiencing negative emotions, you want to help. This is the response for most people. What also happens is that you subconsciously recognize that you're not in that situation. You can understand your coworker's emotional stress, but you aren't experiencing the same thing yourself.

 

Dr. Jamil Zaki is a psychology professor and the director of the Social Neuroscience Laboratory in Stanford. He says empathy can help you see past the many differences people have. It helps you move past prejudice or bias. These are negative emotions. They can produce a stress response in your body. Empathy doesn't allow that to develop.

 

Dr. Zaki also says empathy makes people happier in their relationships and even more successful at work. Studies show us that an empathetic person learns how to process his or her own emotions properly by being able to recognize the emotions other people are going through. That means being more empathetic in your life cannot only help others, but it can also give you a wonderful boost of less stress and more peace of mind.

 

5 Steps To Defeat Perfectionism Once and For All

We all have moments where we fall into perfectionism. For some of us, this might happen kind of often. For others, it's reserved for those special occasions where we have a project where we can't rest until we get it right.

 

While occasional super-attention-to-detail is okay, it’s when we make perfectionism a way of life where it becomes a problem. Those are the times where we finally need to take charge of our lives and learn how to let go.

 

Try this:

 

Start at the Core

 

Why are you so wrapped up in perfectionism? Are you truly trying to become a better person somehow, or are you just trying to impress someone else or meet expectations from those around you? Neither of these reasons is very healthy, and both need to be addressed.

 

Drop the “Should”

 

The moment you start using this word in a conversation, especially regarding your action, you're already driving yourself crazy. Remind yourself you don’t need validation from anyone. You’re good just by being you.

 

Rewrite the Script

 

What are you telling yourself as you throw yourself into perfectionism? Do you think this is the path to success? Or do you have other unrealistic expectations of the outcome? Here's where you switch up your self-talk to get out of any negative spaces and unrealistic outcomes.

 

Drop the Comparisons

 

Speaking of self-talk, just who are you holding up as role models? Has this too become unhealthy, going from "I want to be more like them" to "Why can't I have everything they do?” Wouldn’t it feel better to celebrate where you are right now and all the effort you’ve been putting into things?

 

Show Some Mercy

 

Perfection never allows for excuses. If you can't succeed, you're automatically a failure. By chasing imperfection, you learn the value of self-forgiveness and the ability to let go of your mistakes in favor of embracing the lessons you can learn from them.

 

You wouldn’t think these steps are all so very important at first glance. After all, is chasing imperfection worthwhile?

 

The answer is a resounding, "Yes!" Perfection is what pulls us away from others and gets us so tangled up inside with worry and stress about getting things right; we negatively impact our mental and physical health. 

 

With this in mind, isn’t it time to let go and enjoy life once and for all?

 

The Importance of Self-Love

You’ve been told time and time again to love those around you, but did you know that you also must love yourself? There are several reasons to love yourself, all of which are important. Read on to find out more about the importance of self-love and why you should prioritize it in your life. 

 

Self-Love is Important for Relationships

 

The number one reason self-love is important is that before you can love someone else, you must first learn to love yourself. You learn about how to treat someone you love based on how you treat yourself. So if you don’t treat yourself with respect and love, you won’t be able to treat someone you love the same way. This can ruin your relationships with others, both friends and family alike. Therefore, if you want to love others, start by loving yourself.

 

Without Self-Love, You’ll Burn Out

 

Besides learning how to love yourself to love others, you also need to learn how to love yourself so you don't burn out. Burnout happens when you spend too much time focusing on others or your duties in life and neglecting self-care. It is characterized by an inability to focus and a sense of exhaustion that won't go away. Self-love is important because it helps keep you from burning out. 

 

Self-Love is Critical to Success

 

Do you want to be successful? Who doesn't! Self-love is important for success. This is because you can't possibly focus on bettering yourself or your place in life while you are constantly being negative about yourself or your abilities. You need to love yourself and embrace your flaws to use them to your advantage. Learning to love even the mistakes you make is a critical part of self-love. 

 

Self-Love Makes You Happier

 

Do you enjoy walking around not liking who you are as a person? Probably not. It is impossible to be happy when you spend your whole life hating on yourself and not loving yourself. If you want to lead a happy and healthy life, you need to work towards self-love today. Plus, you will feel better when you practice self-love, and when you feel better about yourself and the world around you, happiness isn't that far behind!

 

Self-love is a difficult thing to pursue in life, but it is critical to the quality of your life. Without self-love, you will have poor relationships with others, you may burn out, and you will probably never achieve success. Not to mention that you probably won't lead a very happy life! This is why you should put self-love first in your life today! 

 

5 Creative Ways to Build Better Focus

Building better focus cannot be found in a step-by-step guide. It is a process, one that is filled with starts, stops, leveling up, and many missteps along the way. In fact, improving your focus might just be one of the most challenging things you can try to do in the Twenty-First Century. We have limitless distractions, stress from home and work, and information flying at us 24/7.

 

Below you will find a list of creative ways to work on improving your focus. But what you must remember throughout all the steps is to take inventory consistently. Notice your mental state, what is distracting you, and why is it distracting you. Taking the time to stop and take stock will give you feedback on what is and isn’t working for you, as well as how you are improving along the way.

 

1. Consider Your Attention

 

Throughout the day, stop and consider how much attention you are paying to the task at hand. Are you fully focused? Or are you only half working on a project while the other half of your brain thinks about lunch?

 

2. Consider Your Mood

 

Consider your mood throughout the day and why it may be that way. This should be paired with your attention to what you are doing. Are you anxious while you only half-think about the project? Are you annoyed and typing an email? 

 

3. Write Down Your Distractions & Look at Them

 

Every time you catch yourself being pulled away from the task at hand, write down the distraction and what you were doing, then get back to work. At the end of the day, look back on what distracted you and when. You may be able to pinpoint weak points in your day and find ways to remedy those distractions.

 

4. Stop and Breath

 

Ever feel like you’re being pulled in ten different directions? Are the distractions flooding at you becoming overwhelming? Stop and breathe. Clear your mind for a few moments, write it all down, and make a plan. While you may not be able to solve all the problems, at least you can do your best to work through each one with a clear mind.

 

5. Visualize

 

You can use visualization at any time to clear your mind and focus on one thing. This will allow you to push away distractions and build your mind’s ability to concentrate for a lengthened time. You can visualize colors, images, anything that you focus your mind on.

 

Building better focus is not a race. It is a journey that takes time and patience. Consider incorporating creative, focus building exercises into your daily routine.

 

3 Ways to Make Sure You Get All the Sleep Your Brain Needs to Stay Healthy

It seems like insomnia is a modern epidemic. Whether you deal with insomnia or you are chronically sleep-deprived, it’s likely that poor sleep is affecting your performance.

 

Sleep deprivation feels terrible. You will have noticed that if you’ve had a bad night’s sleep, you feel sluggish, heavy, and slow, as though you’re trying to walk through syrup. You’re clumsy and confused, you drop things, and nothing seems to go right.

 

As well as making you feel bad, a chronic lack of sleep can have physical effects on your brain. Sleep deprivation impairs your ability to process and store memories and can even increase your risk of Alzheimer’s disease. Two proteins associated with Alzheimer's, beta amyloid, and the tau protein, increase with chronic poor sleep. There is some evidence in laboratory tests on mice that sleep helps to clear these proteins from the brain. 

 

The good news is that there are things you can do to improve your sleep health to keep your brain in tip-top shape.

 

1. Find Out Your Own Best Sleep Levels

 

Everyone has their own individual sleep needs. Famously, British politicians Winston Churchill and Margaret Thatcher needed very little sleep, but only getting four or five hours a night is not recommended for most people. Whether you need seven hours or ten, find out what is enough sleep for you. 

 

Enough sleep means waking up without needing an alarm, feeling rested and energetic, and not needing coffee to get you through the day. 

 

2. Improve your Sleep Hygiene

 

Studies have shown that the hour or two before bedtime has a powerful effect on the quality of your sleep. Schedule in some proper downtime, and stop using blue light-emitting devices like smartphones, computers, tablets, and television an hour or so before you plan to go to bed. Read a book, take a relaxing bath, or listen to calming music—or all three—instead. 

 

3. Don’t Lie There Trying to Sleep

 

If you can’t sleep after ten minutes, get out of bed and do something else. Lying in bed, getting stressed because you can’t sleep is a recipe for poor sleep and insomnia. You’re also likely to start brooding, mulling over problems or running over the events of the day. 

 

Get up do something relaxing like reading or meditating until you feel sleepy. It’s okay to do this more than once, even multiple times. You’re trying to train your brain to think of bed as a sleeping place, not a thinking place. 

 

Improving your sleep will help you to feel calmer, be more productive, and may lower your risk of Alzheimer’s later in life. 

 

Surprising Ways Getting Enough Sleep Makes Your Life Better

You’ve probably read about how important it is to get enough sleep. And you know how bad you feel the next day after a sleepless night. But you may not realize how much your sleep affects the deep systems of your body. Without enough sleep, you’re setting yourself up for a range of poor health outcomes, from depression to diabetes. Getting your full seven to nine hours of good sleep can have an enormous range of surprising benefits. 

 

1. You’ll think better

 

Studies have shown that your brain functions much better on regular restful sleep. Sleep is the downtime your brain needs to do essential chores like consolidating memories, processing emotions and recovering from the days processing.

 

2. You’ll perform better at work

 

You need to be performing at your best in the office, and for that, you need to have your brain operating at its top capacity. REM sleep is necessary to be able to solve problems and come up with innovative solutions. As you spend only 20% of your sleep time REM sleep, you need to make sure you get enough sleep overall to get your full dose of REM.

 

3. Sleep helps keep your genes healthy

 

Scientists have found that chronic sleep deprivation affects the functioning of your genes. Sleep is necessary for proper gene function including the genes that influence your immunity, inflammation and how well you deal with stress.

 

4. You’ll age better

 

Sleep is super important for the production of collagen which is crucial for skin repair and cell renewal as well as skin hydration. Not getting enough sleep sets you up for premature skin aging, as you’re not producing enough collagen. Your skin also needs sleep to recover from sun exposure. So, do your skin a favor and get some sleep!

 

5. You may live longer

 

Getting enough sleep is crucial for the body’s cells to renew and repair. All of your body’s systems use the downtime of sleep to recalibrate and process, getting rid of waste products and strengthening cell walls. Your immune system can recharge and prepare itself better to fight off disease and illness. Your body will be in much better shape to deal with the stresses of the day.

 

Even if you're finding it difficult to get a full eight hours, science has found that regular cat naps to supplement your night’s sleep can help. Harvard researchers found that the risk of heart disease was reduced by thirty percent by having daily siestas. 

 

Five Signs You Might Need to Focus on Emotional Healing

What is emotional healing? It's the process by which you recover emotionally and mentally from a negative life experience. You can't keep tough times from appearing in your life. When you are emotionally healthy and balanced, you deal with those difficult situations that inevitably pop up, and you can move on with your life.

 

Sometimes, we don't understand we need emotional healing. That's the problem. If you suffer some injury and have a broken bone, you can see it. You can certainly feel it. You know you have to get it fixed.

 

This isn't always the case when your emotions are out of whack.

 

You might think your emotional responses to your experiences are correct and healthy. They may be anything but. Here are five signs you could use some emotional healing to live a more complete and fulfilling life.

 

You Don't Experience a Wide Range of Emotions

 

You have access to 34,000 different and unique emotions. That's what psychologist Robert Plutchik believed. He stated that most of us only experience eight primary emotions most of the time. These are anger, sadness, disgust, trust, fear, joy, surprise and anticipation.

 

If only a couple of those are usually present, you probably need more emotional balance. This could indicate that you aren't properly processing situations and human interactions. 

 

Low Self-Esteem and a Poor Self-Image

 

This is an offshoot of what we just talked about. You constantly look down on yourself. Everyone has times when they doubt their abilities. That's only normal. We recover and move on. The emotionally unhealthy person usually has a low sense of self-worth, even when there is evidence this isn't the case.

 

You Have Difficulty Trusting Others

 

A lack of trust can come from emotional imbalance. You must love yourself and truly believe you can overcome a bad relationship experience, or you'll never trust others.

 

You Can't Move Past a Negative Experience

 

Life can be difficult, at times seemingly impossible. It might look like you'll never recover in the middle of the most trying hardship. You will. Don't embrace and hold onto negative emotions. Practice gratitude for the great things in your life. Lean on your support network and get whatever help you need if you can't seem to let go of negative emotions.

 

Constant Anxiety and Stress

 

Chronic stress is a killer and has been directly linked to many common causes of death. A constant display of stress and anxiety could mean you're not always responding to life correctly where your emotions are concerned.

 

There is no miracle pill you can pop to always enjoy perfect emotional balance. You will have ups and downs, experiencing difficult times that hurt you emotionally. 

 

For you to live your best life and for those that you love, you need to learn to recognize a negative life experience, give it its due, and then move on. Consider seeking help if you often display these signs of poor emotional health.

 

Be More Productive with These 3 Tips

Everyone knows that productivity is essential to success, but being productive is often easier said than done, especially in the age of the internet when many people are working from home. If you want to become more productive but aren't sure how to begin, try following these three easy tips to get you started.

 

Tip 1: Have A Plan

 

It’s extremely difficult to be productive if you aren't sure exactly what you have to do. This is why you need to start your journey to productivity by having a plan. This can be a plan for the day, the week, or even the month, whatever suits your work style. 

 

It's best to make the goals small and achievable daily—this will help you stay focused and on track. It will also help keep you motivated as you will feel accomplished every time you cross something off the list. 

 

Tip 2: Don’t Give In To Distractions

 

This is a tough one. Distractions come in all shapes and sizes, everything from technology (your phone) to food and even your friends or coworkers. The best way to start being more productive is by finding an area you can work in with little if any, distractions. This could mean removing the TV from your office or finding somewhere to work that isn’t the kitchen. 

 

Then you should commit to not picking up your phone or checking your email for a specified period of time while you work. You'll find this helps tremendously with keeping you on task and preventing you from wasting time on something you don’t need to waste time on.

 

Tip 3: Take Breaks

 

Numerous studies have shown that your brain works most effectively when it takes frequent breaks from a difficult task. Some people like to specify and time these breaks using a timer for maximum productivity. But you don’t have to rigidly schedule breaks to benefit from them. Even just stepping away from your desk for five minutes because you're frustrated at something can do wonders for your productivity levels, as well as your mental health. 

 

Although it can be difficult to stay on task, it's quite easy to boost your productivity simply by having a plan, avoiding distractions, and taking adequate breaks. Employ all three in your life, and you'll likely be surprised by how much your productivity increases!

 

6 Daily Routines To Feel More Fulfilled

Your life is a combination of your behaviors, thoughts, and actions. Even the little things in your life can make the biggest difference and leave a lasting effect.

 

Not only that but how these things affect you mainly depends on your outlook. Studies show that those with a positive mindset enjoy a more fulfilling, more satisfying life because they don’t allow their negative self-talk to take over their everyday life.

 

Instead, they deal with whatever comes their way with resilience and acceptance. They also have faith that things will eventually work out.

 

This post is here to help you find ways to improve your life. By incorporating these six daily routines, you’ll feel more fulfilled and start living your best life.

 

Let’s dive in.

 

Practice Meditation

 

Meditation has long been linked to better physical, emotional, and mental health. It lowers stress levels while promoting self-awareness and gratitude.

 

Researchers tell us that spending just 5–10 minutes practicing meditation can make a huge difference in your day. It can facilitate inner peace and cultivate feelings of gratitude.

 

Practicing meditation also has the ability to reduce negative emotions, which can help you gain a new perspective on stressful circumstances. Thus, you become more capable of facing difficult situations with resilience and inner strength.

 

Make a To-Do List

 

Some people cringe at the thought of making a to-do list. But it doesn’t have to be a complicated, time-consuming feat.

 

Whether at home or work, having a list that prioritizes your tasks for the day allows you to be better organized. It also encourages you to put more focus on the most crucial tasks first.

 

Furthermore, a to-do list helps you stay on track throughout the day, which helps prevent putting off tasks or procrastination. Then, at the end of the day, you can check off all the things you’ve accomplished and be proud of all your hard work.

 

Spend Time in Nature

 

Research tells us that spending time in nature has an amazing effect on our emotional and psychological health. It elevates positive feelings while lowering stress, anxiety, and other mental health issues.

 

Spending as little as 10–15 minutes a day outdoors can improve your mood and help you feel happier and more satisfied with life in general. Enjoying nature also has the power to make you feel more relaxed and at one with something bigger than yourself.

 

It also helps you to be more active, even if you’re taking a leisurely stroll in the park.

 

Learn Something New

 

An excellent way to feel more fulfilled is by discovering something new each day. Being in pursuit of learning allows you to become more aware, well-rounded, and knowledgeable.

 

This could be through a range of media, such as listening to a podcast, reading, or even watching a documentary or informational video.

 

Having a wealth of information or learning a new skill is a great motivator to enhance the quality of your life. Plus, it enhances cognitive skills. So, you beat boredom and keep your brain cells healthy and active.

 

Move Your Body

 

Staying consistent with exercise isn’t doable for most of us. Yet, the good thing about working out is that you don’t have to do high-intensity sessions each week to reap its benefits.

 

So, instead of setting unrealistic goals, stick with something more doable that easily fits into your schedule. For example, take a 20-minute walk during your lunch break, do a 15-minute dance routine in your living room, or sign up for a yoga class.

 

Whichever activity you choose, it’ll certainly relieve stress and make you feel more confident. Plus, exercise releases endorphins, which is one of the feel-good hormones.

 

Connect with Others

 

We’re social creatures. As such, we need to spend time connecting with others to help us avoid negative feelings like isolation and loneliness.

 

When you make a habit of connecting with friends, family, and co-workers, it’ll give you the sense that you’re cared for and loved. Plus, social connections improve your ability to bounce back during trying times and help reduce stress, anxiety, and depression.

 

Furthermore, staying connected enhances the quality of your overall health. Even a 10-minute phone or video call with a loved one can lift your mood, promote healthy eating, improve sleep, and lower your risk of chronic diseases.