Self-Parenting 101

Self-parenting, self-love, and self-care go hand in hand. All three are there to help you make conscious decisions and allow you to take better care of yourself.

 

After doing a lot of internal work, I now have a clearer vision of why we need to practice good self-parenting. The problem is that many people feel this type of self-care is shallow or selfish. But that couldn’t be further from the truth!

 

Below are some self-parenting 101 tips and tricks that can help ensure that you always prioritize what you need to thrive and lead a fulfilling life.

 

Let’s get started.

 

What Is Self-Parenting?

 

In short, self-parenting is a type of focused care that involves healthy living patterns and positive daily habits. It puts a spotlight on the things that truly matter in your life, like sleep, nourishment, and security.

 

Yet, while those are all great ways to manage your overall health, self-parenting takes it a step further.

 

At its core, self-parenting is how you can fulfill unmet needs lingering from your childhood. It’s a way to tone down your inner critic, which is actually a culmination of voices that you’ve internalized and now believe as your own.

 

As a result, you learn how to listen more to your emotions and thoughts. You become more compassionate towards who you are as a person, and you allow yourself to feel worthy and seen.

 

It does this by providing new experiences that can lead to more satisfying behavior and a more positive effect, thus helping you create better outcomes in your life.

 

5 Self-Parenting Tips

 

In my search for ways of being a better parent to myself, I looked at some of the ways good parents care for their kids. Then, I used them to create an outline that adults can apply to themselves to enhance their inner parent.

 

Take a look.

 

Accept Your Emotions

 

Feelings help us define what’s happening so we can articulate our thoughts and act accordingly. When children have intense feelings, it can sometimes be overwhelming. If we’re not taught at a young age how to deal with those big, scary emotions, we still won’t be able to deal with them as adults.

 

This is where self-parenting can really help. Tell yourself that it’s okay to have feelings, no matter how big or small.

 

More importantly, avoid making yourself feel guilty or ashamed about feeling a certain way. Instead, learn how to make the most of these feelings to better understand what you’re going through and help yourself move forward.

 

Set Healthy Boundaries

 

When your life has clearly defined expectations, you can safely navigate and explore within those boundaries. So, make it super clear what you expect of yourself and your life.

 

Yet, we’re trained to listen to our elders and to behave properly. Then, we grow up and we fear what will happen if we assert our needs as adults. So, we put everyone’s needs before our own to avoid rejection.

 

However, with boundaries, you have the power. It may sting a bit if someone rejects you for saying no for whatever reason. But you’ll survive and you’ll come out stronger and more confident.

 

Have Reasonable Expectations

 

Write down realistic goals for the year ahead. Start with long-term goals, then break them down into monthly, weekly, and daily objectives.

 

Working down from larger to more manageable short-term goals will give you a sense of accomplishment. Plus, it helps you focus on what you have to do and avoid feeling hurt or helpless.

 

Remind yourself to be proud of your commitment to do the work. And each time you achieve something on our list, reward yourself. Then, after each one, think about setting new goals that can help you achieve more in your personal and professional life.

 

Create a Regular Routine

 

Knowing that you’ll be doing certain things at certain times is one of the best self-parenting techniques ever! Having a routine helps prepare you for what’s ahead so you can have time to adjust and react accordingly. It also teaches you responsibility, leadership, and discipline.

 

For example, one of the first things experts will advise you to do is to go to bed at a specific time each night. Not only that, but you need to create a nightly ritual to help you unwind and relax at the end of the day.

 

Start by turning off all screens 30–60 minutes before bedtime and dim the lights. You can bring an enjoyable book to read. Or you can play some soft music to ease you into sleep mode and reduce any nighttime jitters you may have.

 

Know Your Core Values

 

Adults who come from neglectful homes are often not taught morals when they were children. So, as your self-parent, it’s up to you to determine what it takes to become a helpful, empathetic member of your community.

 

You also have to learn the importance of respecting yourself and others, as well as being honest and trustworthy. And the best way to do that is by finding out what your core values are.

 

One thing you can do to appreciate the role that helping others has in your life is to volunteer at a local shelter or community center. Even a simple gesture, holding the door for someone or smiling at a stranger, can do miracles for your self-esteem.

 

7 Action Steps To Maximize Your Potential

Maximizing your potential means being more productive and having the ability to flourish in most situations. The basis is to understand your goals and be persistent in achieving them. It requires time, effort, dealing with obstacles, and taking risks to achieve the result. However, the benefits are powerful. Following are seven steps that you can take to maximize your full potential.

 

Step 1: Define Your Goals

When people have defined goals to achieve, they have a roadmap for pursuing their objectives and dreams. The first step is to think about what you want to accomplish in your life, whether it be short or long-term. Goals should be realistic. For example, if your goal is to become a professional actor, but you have no experience, your chances of success are low and can lead to disappointment. On the other hand, realistic goals would be to take classes and perform in local community theater to gain experience.

 

• Make a list of goals that motivate you.
• Evaluate each goal and define the steps needed to achieve the goal.
• Set a completion due date for each step within a goal.
• Monitor your progress.

 

Step 2: Develop a Growth Mindset

People with a growth mindset are optimistic and embrace challenges. Other characteristics include:

 

• Acknowledging areas of self-weakness
• Learning to listen to constructive criticism
• Focusing on the process, not the result 
• Being motivated by the success of others
• Knowing that failure is an opportunity to grow
• Never giving up when things are difficult
• Thinking of learning as an opportunity to exercise the brain

 

Step 3: Journal Your Thoughts and Ideas

Keeping a journal enhances self-growth and can lead you to maximize your potential. Journaling has numerous benefits, such as boosting creativity, improving mental health, and motivating you to achieve goals.

 

• Think about your feelings and write them in your journal.
• Evaluate the triggers for each feeling – what happened that caused the feeling?
• Assess your emotions – for example, were you angry, sad, or embarrassed?
• Examine each scenario for lessons learned – what can you do better in the future?

 

Step 4: Embrace Mistakes

 

Everyone makes mistakes occasionally. When you make an error, you have an opportunity for personal growth by exploring what went wrong and how it happened. The lessons learned will help you to prevent the same mistake in the future. 

 

Step 5: Opportunities and Risk

 

As you work toward maximizing your potential, you may encounter risks. Assume that you have a limited budget to achieve your goal. There is a risk that you could run out of money to bring your objective to a successful conclusion. This may cause you to worry excessively about the risk, distracting you and decreasing productivity. You might feel like giving up.

 

Avoid worrying about risks by identifying the types of risks that could occur. Evaluate each risk and how to mitigate it: accept, avoid, reduce, or transfer it. Learn more about Risk Management at Coursera.

 

Step 6: Practice Self-Care

 

When you feel good mentally and physically, you may reap the benefits of increased motivation, adaptability to changes and coping with difficult situations, reduced stress, a sense of well-being and happiness, and more. 

 

Start your self-care journey by eating a healthy diet, exercising regularly, and getting enough sleep. 

 

Step 7: Manage Your Time

In today’s hectic world, it feels as though there is never enough time to do everything. Don’t let that be a blocker to reaching your full potential. Following are several time management tips to help you make the most of your time.

 

• Plan Ahead: The evening before, plan for the next day. Make your to-do list and prioritize each task. Remove tasks that are not essential or delay low-priority tasks to another day.
• Minimize Interruptions: Set a “do not disturb” time each day. During that time, find a quiet place and temporarily ignore social media, phone calls, texts, and emails. Share your boundaries with those you know so they are aware. You’ll accomplish more in less time without unnecessary interruptions.

 

Conclusion

 

Being your best self requires knowing your goals and making a lifelong commitment to learning. It takes time and practice to improve yourself; the benefits are vast. When you maximize your potential, you have a vision for your life and are on the road to success! 

 

7 Good Morning Questions That Create Happiness

Voltaire says, “Judge someone by their questions, rather than by their answers.”

 

In other words, the right kind of questions are those that expand your thinking. They make you reflect on how to be better and do better. They can also help determine the quality of your day.

 

A good question can be especially helpful in the morning when you’re trying to get ready for work or school.

 

So, why not try to add some liveliness and vigor to your mornings with a few motivational questions?

 

Starting your day out with purpose and a sense of gratitude has been proven to be one of the most effective ways to live a happy, fulfilling life.

 

Asking the right questions in the morning has the power to put you in a good mood for the whole day. As a result, having a positive mindset allows you to focus more, retain more information, and get more done.

 

Here are seven good morning questions to create happiness and start your day with focus and energy. Try them out and see which ones work best for you.

 

What is the most important thing I can do today for my well-being?

 

There’s a reason why they tell you to put on your oxygen mask first. If you don’t take care of yourself, you won’t be able to take care of others. So, take the time to figure out what you can do to serve your own well-being.

 

Remember, every day is a new chance to change and improve the life you’re living. Work hard to reach your goals and achieve the things you believe in. Take small steps, and before you know it, you’ll get closer and closer to your goals.

 

What am I excited about accomplishing today?

 

Visualize your schedule for the day, starting from when you walk out of the door, reach your workplace, then come back home. What tasks do you need to accomplish? Do you have any deadlines for today? Meetings?

 

Try to picture everything in detail but put more focus on the positive aspects of your day. By giving yourself something to look forward to, you’ll be better equipped to handle the complex or tedious tasks of the day.

 

How can I encourage others, and myself, today?

 

To accomplish anything meaningful in life, you need to dream big and believe in those dreams. The more you believe, the farther you’ll get.

 

Yet, sometimes, we need a small push to get us going. This is when spreading around some reassuring words of encouragement and motivation. Be courageous in your thinking, yet also maintain your sense of optimism and cheerfulness. In other words, have your head in the clouds and your feet firmly planted in the ground.

 

Don’t forget to spread your eagerness and zeal to everyone around you.

 

What am I grateful for?

 

Socrates said, “Contentment is natural wealth, luxury is artificial poverty.”

 

Don’t waste your life fixating on what you don’t have rather than what you already have. If you do, you’ll never have enough.

 

The best thing you can do is appreciate the goodness that’s already yours, and you’ll have plenty to be grateful for. When you appreciate the people and things in your life, you’ll discover that you have a lot to live for.

 

How can I show my love to those I care about?

 

Relationships with friends, family, and life partners only work when the two sides decide to make a conscious effort to put in the work. They can be small acts of love and appreciation, just to tell one another that you’re there and that you care.

 

But these small acts go a long way in, especially when they come from the heart because it’s not so much what you do as it is how you do it. So, understand what matters most to those you care about. Then, spend a few minutes showing them in their own love language.

 

Can I take a break?

 

This question can be taken to mean two things: can I take a break for the entire day? Or can I take a break during the day?

 

If you find that you keep asking yourself the first question every morning, it could be your body’s way of telling you need to schedule time for yourself. Try to set aside no less than 15 minutes each day for some self-care.

 

On the other hand, if you’re asking yourself ‘Can I take a break during the day?’ that alone can unlock those feel-good hormones and happy emotions.

 

Even if your schedule is packed for the day, knowing that you have a break coming up will give you something to look forward to.

 

What would I like to remember about today?

 

Every day is special because it’s a chance to live your truth and take action toward meaningful goals. Yet, many times we take our days for granted without embracing the gift we’re giving with each sunrise.

 

So, ask yourself this: what can you do today that’s worth remembering?

 

Cultivating a Balanced Mindset

In the pursuit of achieving balance, we often get caught up in the external world - creating to-do lists, scheduling commitments, and striving for efficiency. However, a crucial element often overlooked is cultivating a balanced mindset.

 

Shifting Your Perspective

 

Instead of viewing life as a constant struggle for balance, adopt the perspective that balance is an internal state. It's not about achieving external perfection but finding peace and acceptance within yourself. This shift in perspective allows you to approach life's challenges with greater resilience and navigate the inevitable ups and downs without feeling overwhelmed.

 

Practicing Mindfulness

 

Mindfulness practices like meditation and deep breathing can be powerful tools for cultivating a balanced mind. These practices help you focus on the present moment and become aware of your thoughts and emotions without judgment. By training your mind to be present and accepting, you can better manage stress, reduce anxiety, and approach life's challenges with greater clarity and calmness.

 

Gratitude as a Source of Strength

 

Gratitude is another powerful tool for cultivating a balanced mindset. It allows you to shift your focus from what you lack to what you already have, fostering a sense of contentment and appreciation for the good things in life. Taking time to reflect on what you're grateful for, big or small, can significantly improve your well-being and overall outlook.

 

Self-Compassion is Key

 

Finding balance requires compassion for yourself, especially on days when you feel overwhelmed or unable to adhere to your ideal schedule. Instead of self-criticism, practice self-acceptance and understanding. Acknowledge your limitations and forgive yourself for setbacks. Remember, everyone struggles with achieving balance at times, and it's not about attaining perfection but about making progress and learning from your experiences.

 

Cultivating a balanced mindset is a journey, not a destination. By incorporating mindfulness practices, fostering gratitude, and practicing self-compassion, you can create a foundation for inner peace and navigate the ebbs and flows of life with greater ease and resilience. This, in turn, will contribute to a more balanced and fulfilling life, even when faced with external demands and challenges.

 

Achieving Balance in a Demanding World

Finding balance in life can feel impossible in today's fast-paced, demanding world. Juggling work, relationships, personal well-being, and countless other responsibilities can be overwhelming and leave us struggling to manage. But achieving balance isn't about maintaining a perfectly equal distribution of time and energy across every aspect of our lives. It's about consciously prioritizing and managing our resources to create a fulfilling and sustainable life.

 

Prioritize Your Values

 

The first step towards achieving balance lies in identifying your core values. What truly matters to you in life? Is it family time, professional success, creative expression, or physical health? Once you understand your values, you can start prioritizing activities that align with them. This might involve setting boundaries at work to ensure quality time with loved ones, delegating tasks to free up time for personal pursuits, or scheduling regular exercise sessions for a healthy mind and body.

 

Embrace Flexibility and Adaptability

 

Life is rarely predictable, and unexpected events can throw our meticulously planned schedules into disarray. The key is to be flexible and adaptable. Instead of rigidly clinging to a fixed schedule, embrace the flow of life and learn to adjust your plans as needed. This might involve saying no to additional commitments when your plate is full, delegating tasks when faced with unexpected deadlines, or simply taking time to recharge when needed.

 

The Power of "No"

 

Learning to say "no" is crucial for achieving balance. It empowers you to control your time and energy, preventing them from being drained by commitments that don't align with your values. While saying "no" can initially feel uncomfortable, it helps you focus on what truly matters and avoid burnout.

 

Finding Joy in the Journey

 

Finding balance isn't just about managing responsibilities; it's also about embracing moments of joy and fulfillment. Make time for pleasurable activities, for example, spending time in nature, pursuing a hobby or simply connecting with loved ones. These moments of joy are a source of energy and renewal, making navigating the inevitable challenges life throws us easier.

 

Remember, finding balance is a continuous journey, not a one-time destination. Be patient with yourself, celebrate your progress, and don't be afraid to adjust your approach as needed. You can create a balanced, fulfilling life by prioritizing your values, embracing flexibility, harnessing the power of "no," and prioritizing moments of joy.

 

The Stress Relieving Value of Accepting Your Differences

Were you ever teased as a child? A lot of us were. Some kids will make fun of others who are fatter or skinnier, taller or shorter, or different in some other way. They, unfortunately, learn this behavior from adults who likewise chastise their colleagues, friends, and others for nothing more than being different.

 

This becomes a big problem when several children attack another child and declare some difference to be negative. When this behavior is ongoing, the different child can begin to feel low self-worth. After all, if everyone is telling her that she's different and that her differences aren't good, they must be right.

 

Why else would they all be saying the same thing? That child becomes upset with the person she sees in the mirror. Why is she overweight? Why is her skin different from others? Why wasn't she given the intelligence that all her friends have? This leads to self-doubt, low self-esteem, and in some cases, risky and unsafe behavior.

 

Stress Is a Killer, but It Doesn't Have To Be

 

Obviously, that's a very stressful scenario. Unfortunately, this is a common situation for not just children but teens, young adults, and even older grown-ups.

 

It causes so much stress, both physical and mental. The stress starts to build up because the differences are seen as negative. The marvelous, unique individual that was created is not allowed to be who they really are. They try not to be themselves.

 

On the physiological side of the equation, this chronic stress produces chemicals that lead to anxiety, depression, and other negative feelings. Ask any doctor, and they'll tell you stress is related to most chronic illnesses and many major causes of death.

 

Your differences don't have to be stressful. They shouldn't be. When you embrace who you are, you realize you have much to offer the world. You're fine just like you are right now. This leads to confidence and less stress. You aren't as anxious about trying to please others by fitting into some silly idea they have of who you should be.

 

Your confidence and self-esteem go up when you accept and love your differences. 

 

You'll also find that certain people in your life want to manipulate you rather than accept who you are. Perhaps you should move on from these people and spend more time with supportive individuals who encourage your uniqueness.

 

Be happy with who you are. You're the only "you" that will ever be created. There will never be another human being exactly like you. When you embrace that fact and look at your differences as advantages, you'll suffer less stress and anxiety and enjoy more self-love, fulfillment, and success.

 

How Avoidance Actually Creates More Stress

When you have an especially difficult or stressful task on your plate, it can be very tempting to avoid completing said task. Or if you don’t like to think about a subject because of an experience, it can seem easier to just not think about that topic. Both of these situations are known as avoidance, and though it may be tempting to engage in this behavior, it causes more stress than it relieves. 

 

You Won’t Stop Thinking About It

 

If you’ve ever experienced trauma, it can be tempting to avoid all thoughts of things that may remind you of the trauma you experienced. Although this may be less painful in the short run, the truth is, long term, this will stress you out more because the thoughts of your trauma will always return until you genuinely learn to deal with them rather than avoid them. The same holds for certain physical tasks. You may put them off because you don’t want to think about them, but this will only stress you out more because you will have to keep thinking about the task instead of simply completing it now.

 

You’ll Run Out Of Time

 

When you put off a task, you may momentarily relieve your stress by telling yourself you will complete the task later. But this is worse than doing the job now because later you will experience more pressure as you are faced with a fast-approaching deadline. This is especially true if you haven’t left yourself enough time to complete the task and have to rush at the last minute. 

 

Avoidance Creates Conflict

 

Maybe a coworker is waiting for you to complete your work so they can get started on theirs. And if you didn’t leave yourself enough time before the deadline, you may cause them to be late on meeting their deadline as well. This can cause a conflict between you as your coworker may be upset that you made them late. And when you experience conflict in your relationships, this only adds to your overall stress level rather than lowering it.

 

Although it can be extremely tempting to avoid certain tasks or put them off, this is a flawed approach as it will only cause you more stress in the long run. This is because avoidance doesn’t solve any problems. Instead, it just creates conflict, which leads to increased stress in the future.

 

If You Want Less Stress and Anxiety, Learn to Empathize More

Stress is a killer. You might hear someone say, "The stress at my job is killing me!" They could be overstating the situation. In many cases though, stress can quite literally kill you.

 

Chronic stress is related to the six leading causes of death. It's believed that more than 75% of all trips to the emergency room or a doctor are stress-related. So the next time a friend tells you stress is killing him, you might want to take that statement seriously.

 

Ask anyone you know and they'll tell you of a stressful situation they experienced recently. This is an unfortunately common occurrence. You might have too much stress in your own life.

 

For a number of reasons, you can benefit from stressing less and relaxing more often. If that sounds like something you'd enjoy, just learn to empathize more.

 

How Empathy Leads to Less Stress and Depression

 

An empathetic person can place themselves in the emotional experience of someone else. That's the first part of empathy. The part of the empathetic process some people forget is responding in a way that's helpful.

 

You see a coworker has a huge workload. She's stressing out and you know there's no possible way she can hit a proposed deadline. You communicate to her that even though her productivity is excellent and she's a great worker, you don't know how she's going to get everything done. 

 

You just paid her a compliment. You saw her emotions were frazzled and she wasn't in a good place mentally. So, you said something nice about her ability on the job.

 

The next thing you can do after you identify with her situation is to provide assistance. Offer to help her tackle some of her responsibilities. When you do, your coworker will thank you. She'll experience less stress, and science tells us that you'll also have less stress, anxiety and depression.

 

When you learn to recognize that someone else is experiencing negative emotions, you want to help. This is the response for most people. What also happens is that you subconsciously recognize that you're not in that situation. You can understand your coworker's emotional stress, but you aren't experiencing the same thing yourself.

 

Dr. Jamil Zaki is a psychology professor and the director of the Social Neuroscience Laboratory in Stanford. He says empathy can help you see past the many differences people have. It helps you move past prejudice or bias. These are negative emotions. They can produce a stress response in your body. Empathy doesn't allow that to develop.

 

Dr. Zaki also says empathy makes people happier in their relationships and even more successful at work. Studies show us that an empathetic person learns how to process his or her own emotions properly by being able to recognize the emotions other people are going through. That means being more empathetic in your life cannot only help others, but it can also give you a wonderful boost of less stress and more peace of mind.