5 Tips for More Effective Conflict Resolution

Conflicts are bound to happen, whether at home, at work, or in between. Unfortunately, what can start as something trivial can quickly escalate to something much more serious in a matter of minutes.

 

That’s why it pays to know how to effectively resolve any conflict you find yourself in. This way, you can create some healthy boundaries and balance your emotions without creating unnecessary stress and anxiety.

 

Here are five tips for more effective conflict resolution that will help you out of any jam. Take a look.

 

Tip #1: Find the Source of the Conflict

 

The first step in conflict resolution is to identify the source of the problem. Once you identify the issue, you can start taking the right measures toward fixing it.

 

On the other hand, if you carry on without knowing exactly why you’re feeling the way you do, you’ll be angry and all worked up without really knowing why.

 

So, while it may seem like a waste of time at first, if you think about it, you can’t solve any problem unless you first find the source of the problem.

 

Here’s another way of looking at it:

 

When you identify the root cause of the issue, everyone involved can help strive towards not repeating the same thing in the future.

 

Tip #2: Find a Quiet and Safe Place to Talk

 

Once you understand the underlying causes of the conflict, it’s time to bring in the other person if you haven’t already. The thing about conflict is that you have to nip it in the bud and address it in a timely manner, so it doesn’t manifest into something bigger over time.

 

Remember that there’s nothing wrong with having a difference of opinion every now and then. Yet, it’s how you communicate that makes all the difference in the world!

 

However, we’ve all been in similar situations and it can be daunting to try and engage in this type of discourse. Yet, you have to muster up the courage and just start because the sooner you deal with it, the better the outcome will be.

 

Tip #3: Actively Listen

 

Active listening plays a big role in determining the way your conflict resolution proceeds. So, you have to be patient when it’s the other person’s turn to speak.

 

Write down any rebuttals that pop into your head to avoid interrupting them.

 

Show that you respect the other person’s emotions and point of view. This way, they’ll make it a point to try and do the same when it’s your turn to speak.

 

Tip #4: Point Out Ways to Solve the Problem

 

After each person has had their chance to talk and listen, the next step is to try and find some sort of middle ground that both parties can agree on.

 

You’ll probably need a pen and paper or a board to write down your ideas. Then start brainstorming.

 

Write out all the ideas that come, even the crazy ones. Those are usually the ones that lead to an effective end to the problem.

 

Although, there’s one critical thing to always remember when working to resolve any conflict, and that’s to only focus on the issue at hand and not the person.

 

This will help make the other person feel safe enough to start finding ways to solve the issue, rather than always be on the defensive or feel like they’re constantly being judged.

 

Tip #5: Agree on the Best Solution

 

Finding common ground can be easier said than done. It requires each party to own up to their part of the conflict.

 

Not only that, but it also means they have to put in the effort of looking for a suitable compromise. Plus, they have to take the necessary steps to resolve it and make sure it doesn’t happen again.

 

That can only take place once all parties have set clear expectations while respecting the other person’s differences. Also, it’s helpful to think of conflict as an opportunity to grow. When it’s managed properly, it can bring great insight and help you become more attuned to your needs and the needs of those around you.

 

The good news is that after opening up communication lines, taking the time to listen, and collaborating on solutions, it’s all downhill from there. It becomes easier to establish neutral ground where everyone feels comfortable speaking and sharing ideas.

 

Bringing Out The Best In Others

When you take the time to bring out the best in others, you may find that it is enough to change the world. Everyone has something that makes them unique and special, something that makes them stand out from the crowd. But not everyone knows what that is or how to find their unique talents. They may assume that they are not as good as others and their self-esteem is going to falter as well. 

 

You could be the change that will help them to see the best in themselves, the champion behind them that will never let them fall behind. Some of the ways that you can bring out the best in others include:

 

Be Generous

 

To start, you need to be generous. Give others your time and energy. Even more importantly, give them the benefit of the doubt. Believe in them, even when they fail or stumble and struggle to believe in themselves. It takes no talent to believe in someone who is already reaching their goals and knocking down all the walls. The hard thing is to see some of the talents that are buried deep inside someone, especially when that person doesn’t even know that talent is there. 

 

Be Open-Minded

 

Talent can take a lot of different forms and it can bring someone into unusual situations. Many of the most talented people you may meet throughout your life will be completely different than you. For example, maybe you like to have things quiet and this person likes to be loud and outgoing. The greatest talent in seeing the best in others is to get past some of your own biases. Kick that to the curb and see what a difference it makes. 

 

Be Clear

 

When you want to bring out the best in others, your role is to be clear and interact with other people. If you want to do this, you need to collaborate, foster talent, and be there for the other person. You don’t have to be the most capable or the smartest or the best person in the room. You just need to be clear and ready to listen and learn along the way. Let the other person know that you value them and would like to be there for them as they learn more about their talents as well. 

 

Be Persistent

 

It is never easy when it is time to foster talent. The other person can get discouraged and often distracted. They can come to rely on you to do most of the work, rather than taking on the initiative and using some of their talents and skills. This is natural because finding talent can be difficult and some people may get discouraged. Your goal is to be persistent with them and not let them give up at all. You can be there to help others, but your job is not to do the work for them. With some good persistence, you will be able to help them reach their goals and they will be proud that they put in the work themselves. 

 

Be Present

 

You need to pay attention and be present to spot the talent in other people. You need to be able to find some of the smallest clues because most people don’t know their talents and so will not show them off to you in the process. You have to be curious to learn more about that person and then be present enough to show that you care and want to be there for them as well. The greater your ability to pay attention, the more talent you can find for other people. 

 

The Stress Relieving Value of Accepting Your Differences

Were you ever teased as a child? A lot of us were. Some kids will make fun of others who are fatter or skinnier, taller or shorter, or different in some other way. They, unfortunately, learn this behavior from adults who likewise chastise their colleagues, friends, and others for nothing more than being different.

 

This becomes a big problem when several children attack another child and declare some difference to be negative. When this behavior is ongoing, the different child can begin to feel low self-worth. After all, if everyone is telling her that she's different and that her differences aren't good, they must be right.

 

Why else would they all be saying the same thing? That child becomes upset with the person she sees in the mirror. Why is she overweight? Why is her skin different from others? Why wasn't she given the intelligence that all her friends have? This leads to self-doubt, low self-esteem, and in some cases, risky and unsafe behavior.

 

Stress Is a Killer, but It Doesn't Have To Be

 

Obviously, that's a very stressful scenario. Unfortunately, this is a common situation for not just children but teens, young adults, and even older grown-ups.

 

It causes so much stress, both physical and mental. The stress starts to build up because the differences are seen as negative. The marvelous, unique individual that was created is not allowed to be who they really are. They try not to be themselves.

 

On the physiological side of the equation, this chronic stress produces chemicals that lead to anxiety, depression, and other negative feelings. Ask any doctor, and they'll tell you stress is related to most chronic illnesses and many major causes of death.

 

Your differences don't have to be stressful. They shouldn't be. When you embrace who you are, you realize you have much to offer the world. You're fine just like you are right now. This leads to confidence and less stress. You aren't as anxious about trying to please others by fitting into some silly idea they have of who you should be.

 

Your confidence and self-esteem go up when you accept and love your differences. 

 

You'll also find that certain people in your life want to manipulate you rather than accept who you are. Perhaps you should move on from these people and spend more time with supportive individuals who encourage your uniqueness.

 

Be happy with who you are. You're the only "you" that will ever be created. There will never be another human being exactly like you. When you embrace that fact and look at your differences as advantages, you'll suffer less stress and anxiety and enjoy more self-love, fulfillment, and success.

 

If You Want Less Stress and Anxiety, Learn to Empathize More

Stress is a killer. You might hear someone say, "The stress at my job is killing me!" They could be overstating the situation. In many cases though, stress can quite literally kill you.

 

Chronic stress is related to the six leading causes of death. It's believed that more than 75% of all trips to the emergency room or a doctor are stress-related. So the next time a friend tells you stress is killing him, you might want to take that statement seriously.

 

Ask anyone you know and they'll tell you of a stressful situation they experienced recently. This is an unfortunately common occurrence. You might have too much stress in your own life.

 

For a number of reasons, you can benefit from stressing less and relaxing more often. If that sounds like something you'd enjoy, just learn to empathize more.

 

How Empathy Leads to Less Stress and Depression

 

An empathetic person can place themselves in the emotional experience of someone else. That's the first part of empathy. The part of the empathetic process some people forget is responding in a way that's helpful.

 

You see a coworker has a huge workload. She's stressing out and you know there's no possible way she can hit a proposed deadline. You communicate to her that even though her productivity is excellent and she's a great worker, you don't know how she's going to get everything done. 

 

You just paid her a compliment. You saw her emotions were frazzled and she wasn't in a good place mentally. So, you said something nice about her ability on the job.

 

The next thing you can do after you identify with her situation is to provide assistance. Offer to help her tackle some of her responsibilities. When you do, your coworker will thank you. She'll experience less stress, and science tells us that you'll also have less stress, anxiety and depression.

 

When you learn to recognize that someone else is experiencing negative emotions, you want to help. This is the response for most people. What also happens is that you subconsciously recognize that you're not in that situation. You can understand your coworker's emotional stress, but you aren't experiencing the same thing yourself.

 

Dr. Jamil Zaki is a psychology professor and the director of the Social Neuroscience Laboratory in Stanford. He says empathy can help you see past the many differences people have. It helps you move past prejudice or bias. These are negative emotions. They can produce a stress response in your body. Empathy doesn't allow that to develop.

 

Dr. Zaki also says empathy makes people happier in their relationships and even more successful at work. Studies show us that an empathetic person learns how to process his or her own emotions properly by being able to recognize the emotions other people are going through. That means being more empathetic in your life cannot only help others, but it can also give you a wonderful boost of less stress and more peace of mind.

 

5 Types of Negative Self-Talk and How to Stop Them

We like to think we’re optimistic, positive people. After all, no one wants to be considered a grump. Besides, isn’t that what we’re taught from the time we’re children, to smile and think the best of those around us?

 

In truth, we don’t always quite hit the mark. We might mean to be positive, but those negative thoughts have a way of creeping in, especially if we’re tired or anxious. Strong emotion has a way of derailing us, as do the negative influences around us. In short, we’re constantly being broadsided by negativity, and we can’t help but respond in kind. 

 

How do we learn to recognize when our self-talk is turning negative and stop it before it gains a foothold in our lives? We start by learning how to identify the most common culprits.

 

Black and White Thinking

 

The minute you start using ‘all’ or ‘nothing’ statements you’re already falling into a negativity mindset. When this comes up, the best thing to do is to remind yourself the world doesn’t really work that way. In fact, there are more shades of grey than you might think.

 

Tunnel Vision

 

When you can only see the bad in everything, it’s no wonder you can feel lost in a sea of despair and negative self-talk. Here you see the world as only negative and seek out proof by pointing out every flaw or failure. This is defeated by rewording the statements as they come up. Look for the positive spin you can put on things. 

 

The Disaster Plan

 

When you can only see the negative outcome in everything. For this, accept that sometimes, failure happens. You can even use dire predictions to work out a ‘plan B’ in case you need one, but also remember to remind yourself there’s also a chance of success in what you try. There’s no reason to assume the worst.

 

Anticipation

 

In this, you assume you know what someone else is thinking, and it’s never good. To combat it? Try having an honest conversation with the person instead. Let them speak for themselves. They might even surprise you. Again, quit assuming the worst.

 

The Guilty Conscience

 

You messed up. Once. A long time ago. It’s time to let it go. For some people, their brains are expert at bringing up the past, regardless of how much time has passed or what you’ve done to correct the mistake. Here you need to remind yourself of the lessons you’ve learned. Remember, the past is in the past. Look forward, seeing the possibilities. Let go of the rest.

 

The world really is a more wonderful place than you might have realized. When you let go of negative self-talk, you’re giving yourself the ability to try out a new frame of mind and see just how good things can be. Embrace positivity. Discover what the world has to offer!

 

4 Steps to Creating Affirmations that Work for You

You've probably heard about the Law of Attraction, and how powerful affirmations can be to help you get what you want out of life. When you focus on positive thoughts, you can turn around negative beliefs, feelings, and attitudes that have been stopping you from living your best life.  

 

Affirmations are so powerful that it's essential that you get them right. But shaping the right affirmations for you and your situation is not always easy. Here are four steps you can follow to make sure that your affirmations fit you like a glove. 

 

1. Take That Negativity Bull By the Horns

 

Now is the time to identify and confront those negative beliefs that are holding you back. What are the messages that have stuck with you since childhood? Some of the most common ones are that you're not smart enough, or you've never been good at math/writing/public speaking/standing up for yourself. Or the sucker-punch of 'I always mess things up.' These beliefs make you feel bad, and it's time to look them in the eye and tell them to take a hike. 

 

2. Write Down Your Set of Negativity Beliefs

 

Once you have worked out your negative mindset script, be brave, and write them all down, even the ones that make you squirm. Writing them down gets them out of your head and into the cold light of day. 

 

This may not feel good, but it will feel so much better when those words are out of your head. Keep going even if it hurts! Now you're ready for the fun part.

 

3. Make Your List of Opposites

 

This step will feel a whole lot better. Take each negative belief and write down the opposite belief in the second column of your paper. And make sure that you make it a positive statement. Do not write "I am not good at math'; instead, frame it as a positive "I can do math,' or whatever positive statement works for you. If this feels too hard, you can start with something softer like 'I am open to being good at math." 

 

Make your positive statement as strong as possible. 

 

4. Rinse and Repeat

 

The power of affirmations is becoming embedded deep in your mind. And the best way to do that is to repeat them over every day until your affirmations become part of your mindset. 

 

Say them out loud in front of a mirror every day. Make it part of your routine, like brushing your teeth. Soon those affirmations will be beliefs that build you up. 

 

What Are The 10 Main Difference Between The Rich & The Poor? (Infographic)

 

The Magic of Compound Interest (Infographic)

 

Levels of Competence Diagram (Infographic)

 

Keys To Happiness Now (Infographic)

 

5 Characteristics of Ambitious People

Many of us wish we knew the secret formula to being ambitious and driven. Why are some people so determined to make it that they work on weekends and holidays, while others are a bit laid back and easy-going?

 

That’s what we’re here today to find out. We asked successful people in several fields, and they all agreed on one thing: no one is born ambitious. Instead, it’s something that takes time, patience, and a lot of hard work.

 

Interested in finding out more? Scroll down for our list of five characteristics of ambitious people.

 

They Avoid Negativity

 

Ambitious people seem to be always in motion. They take whatever stressors their day brings and harness it to create something good, like more ambition.

 

Yet, they’ve trained themselves to be good at staying in balance. They don’t allow their emotions to take over their thoughts and actions.

 

With each bump in the road, they breathe and look at things from a clearer perspective.

They avoid getting sucked into the vortex of negative self-take, self-doubt, and indecision—all of which are the enemies of ambition. These negative emotions keep you from seeing your true potential because you’re afraid you’ll mess up or not measure up.

 

However, your only true competitor is yourself. So, focus on your goals, then strive to be better than you were last week. That’s all anyone expects of you.

 

They Invest in Personal Growth

 

Motivated people know the value of personal growth. They know that there’s a whole world of knowledge out there we still don’t know anything about.

 

So, they never settle. They’re always on the hunt for the next thing to help them improve in all areas of their life.

 

This doesn’t just have to be taking online classes and attending seminars. Many self-improvement techniques are free of charge.

 

One of the ways you can invest in yourself is by getting good, quality sleep every night. It’s also about eating right and working out several times a week.

 

The point is to make yourself a priority. Then, pretty quickly, others will take notice and see you as a priority as well.

 

They Surround themselves with Like-Minded People

 

Jim Rohn once said, “You’re the average of the five people you spend the most time with.” In other words, if you want to be more ambitious, you need to be around people who are doing the same.

 

No, it doesn’t mean that you have to replace your friends. But it does mean you need to have people in your life with the right frame of mind to encourage you to be better and do better.

 

These are usually the ones who know what they want and aren’t afraid to go after it. If there’s a mentor you know or some kind of role model, then make an effort to spend more time with them.

 

Also, try to make friends with successful people in various fields, not just the ones you’re interested in. We’re creatures of habit, so whatever makes them successful will soon rub off on you.

 

They Set Well-Defined Goals

 

It’s not just about the task of setting goals. Anyone can make a list of goals they want to achieve in the next week.

 

What ambitious people have become good at is breaking down their goals into smaller, more manageable tasks that they can actually achieve. Not only that, but they have a certain level of self-confidence that allows them to push through even when they don’t feel like it.

 

Say you’re thinking about starting a professional blog. Avoid the urge to jump right in and try to do everything at once. Instead, give yourself daily targets to hit.

 

Get a large calendar and pencil in one thing you want to get done for the next 30 days. These don’t have to be fancy or anything grand. They just have to motivate you enough to get you to the next day’s target, and so on, until you reach your big goal at the end of the month.

 

They’re not Afraid to Take Risks

 

Everyone is always telling you how rewarding it can be to step outside your comfort zone. Yet, taking risks doesn’t have to be daunting or scary.

 

You don’t have to climb a mountain or go swimming with the sharks or anything like that—unless, of course, that’s where your ambition lies.

 

We’re simply suggesting that in order to be ambitious and motivated, you have to be willing to make mistakes. You have to be okay with taking work-related risks and seeing which ones will pan out and which ones will flop.

 

If they pay off, then great! Take it in, be proud of your accomplishments, then move on to the next big risk.

 

If it doesn’t pay off, then use it as a learning experience. Grow from it, understand what went wrong, then move on to something different.

 

It won’t be easy, but you’ll come out stronger, wiser, and more motivated to do more.

 

Feeling Stuck in Life? Practicing Ways to Get Going Again

There will come a time in life when you may feel that you are no longer living in the moment. You may look at things going on around you and feel hopeless and stuck, like you are on autopilot and things just happen to you, rather than you being the one in the driver's seat any longer. Finding a way to get emotionally unstuck so you can enjoy life once again can be key o helping you get the most out of life. 

 

While many things can cause you to get stuck in life, from a mental health condition to a big trauma that goes on in your life, there are also many steps you can take to help yourself get restarted. Some of the best tips include:

 

Become More Aware

 

One place you can start when you feel like you are stuck in with your awareness. Consider an examination of your unconscious to see what is going on. You may find that there are cognitive distortions or defense mechanisms that are in place that make it hard to be aware of your surroundings. Even your default patterns in relationships could be to blame. Depending on the situation, you may be able to handle this on your own or may need to call in a professional. 

 

Take on Responsibility

 

According to PsychCentral.com, many people find it easier to blame someone else, rather than take responsibility for their actions. You may not want to admit when you have done something wrong, but it can be freeing. Stop for a moment and take an honest inventory of how well you are behaving and what things you may have done wrong. Practice forgiveness, for others and yourself as well. 

 

Detach from Unrealistic Expectations

 

We often find that we have unrealistic expectations in life. Whether you are a perfectionist or not, there are times when your expectations of a person or a situation are not realistic and it can lead to a lot of disappointment. You need to start looking at the situation and deciding if your expectations make sense for it or not, tapering back a bit if you end up adding too much that makes it impossible. 

 

Choose Self-Love

 

It is hard to get going again and enjoy the life you have if you can’t take the time to practice some self-love. The first step to doing this is to make that inner critic go away. When all you hear in your mind are all the ways that you are imperfect and not as good as others, you can feel down and depressed, unmotivated to get much done. Start by showing yourself some compassion and see what a difference it makes. 

 

Ask for Support

 

Sometimes, you need to bring in some support to give you the help you desire. You are a strong and powerful individual, but you can’t do everything on your own. Bring in some support to see how they can help raise you and make you feel better. This support can come from friends and family members, but be open to seeking up from a professional, such as a therapist, who can assist you in looking deep down and working through some of your other issues too. 

 

While it may be normal to get stuck in life sometimes and feel like you are on autopilot all the time, that doesn’t mean you need to stay in that situation forever. Learning how to enjoy life and jump right back in is one of the best ways for you to get going again. 

 

Making The Most Of Quality Time With Friends And Family

The relationships we have in our lives have a significant impact on our well-being. They help us celebrate good times, offer support during the bad, and fill our lives with companionship to help prevent feelings of isolation and depression.

 

Unfortunately, it’s always easy to maintain the relationships we have or develop new ones. We’re busy juggling dozens of responsibilities that we often put our family and friends on the back burner. Only when it’s too late, do we realize how much we’ve neglected one of the most important aspects of our lives.

 

Read ahead to learn how to make the most of quality time with friends and family so you never take them for granted ever again.

 

The Importance of Quality Time

 

We live in an age where everyone is seemingly connected via their screens. We scroll through social media like our lives depend on it. And we’ve convinced ourselves that by sending a text or clicking on a ‘Like’ button, we’ve done our fair share of social interaction for the day.

 

Yet, humans are social creatures. Starting at screens all day long is sort of the opposite of that, which is why a lot of research shows that excessive use of social media platforms is actually one of the biggest risk factors for feeling isolated, lonely, and anxious.

 

On the flip side, keeping in touch with friends and family does wonders for your mental, emotional, and physical health. This means talking on the phone each week and having in-person get-togethers.

 

Strong social connections make you less likely to suffer from high blood pressure, Type-2 diabetes, and other chronic diseases.

 

Another benefit of surrounding yourself with positive, supportive people is that it lowers your risk of depression, stress, and anxiety. In addition, studies show that it can also delay the effect of cognitive disorders like dementia and Alzheimer's.

 

There’s also the fun aspect of spending time with friends and family. You get to create memories and build strong, trusting relationships.

 

Here are a few more benefits to gain from quality time with the important people in your life:

 

• Improves your sense of self-worth
• Boosts self-confidence
• Encourages you to avoid unhealthy lifestyle habits
• Helps you get through challenging times, like an illness, divorce, job loss, etc.
• Increases your sense of purpose and belonging

 

How to Make the Most of Quality Time with Friends and Family

 

Possibly, one of the things that get in the way of connecting with friends and family is that we’re too tired. Staying connected means staying active, scheduling times that suit both of you, and coming up with things to do together.

 

Yet, once you make an effort, you’ll realize it was just what you needed to make you feel happier and less stressed. To help you get inspired, we put together a list of 30 fun-filled ideas you can try the next time you get together with family and friends.

 

1. Try out a new restaurant or coffee shop.
2. Sign up for a dance class.
3. Visit an art gallery or museum.
4. Plan ‘Game Night.’
5. Hire a rowing boat at a local lake.
6. Make a DIY list of things that need repairs or touch-ups around the house and go through them one by one.
7. Pick up a new hobby or activity together.
8. Plan a crafting night where you knit, crochet, color, or pretty much anything creative!
9. Keep track of important events in each other’s lives and celebrate them.
10. Organize a clothes swap.
11. Attend a TED talk together.
12. Host a ‘spa’ night and do each other’s nails.
13. Gather stuff you don’t want and host a yard sale.
14. Enjoy a Broadway (or off-Broadway) show.
15. Sync up your washing schedules so you can meet at the Laundromat.
16. Plan a getaway for the weekend.
17. Set up a home tasting party.
18. Visit a make-your-own pottery studio.
19. Try an Escape Room.
20. Go bowling or Glow-in-the-Dark bowling for even more fun.
21. Invite your friends or family over for breakfast or brunch while dressed in your PJs.
22. Organize a Swap Clothes day.
23. Go shopping!
24. Go to a karaoke bar or rent a karaoke machine and have a karaoke night at home.
25. See a comedy show.
26. Book tickets to the ballet or the symphony and get all dressed up.
27. Enjoy a ball game from the bleachers.
28. Go jumping at a trampoline park.
29. Brew some herbal tea, sit back, and relax while enjoying afternoon tea and biscuits.
30. Attend community events.