5 Steps To Defeat Perfectionism Once and For All

We all have moments where we fall into perfectionism. For some of us, this might happen kind of often. For others, it's reserved for those special occasions where we have a project where we can't rest until we get it right.

 

While occasional super-attention-to-detail is okay, it’s when we make perfectionism a way of life where it becomes a problem. Those are the times where we finally need to take charge of our lives and learn how to let go.

 

Try this:

 

Start at the Core

 

Why are you so wrapped up in perfectionism? Are you truly trying to become a better person somehow, or are you just trying to impress someone else or meet expectations from those around you? Neither of these reasons is very healthy, and both need to be addressed.

 

Drop the “Should”

 

The moment you start using this word in a conversation, especially regarding your action, you're already driving yourself crazy. Remind yourself you don’t need validation from anyone. You’re good just by being you.

 

Rewrite the Script

 

What are you telling yourself as you throw yourself into perfectionism? Do you think this is the path to success? Or do you have other unrealistic expectations of the outcome? Here's where you switch up your self-talk to get out of any negative spaces and unrealistic outcomes.

 

Drop the Comparisons

 

Speaking of self-talk, just who are you holding up as role models? Has this too become unhealthy, going from "I want to be more like them" to "Why can't I have everything they do?” Wouldn’t it feel better to celebrate where you are right now and all the effort you’ve been putting into things?

 

Show Some Mercy

 

Perfection never allows for excuses. If you can't succeed, you're automatically a failure. By chasing imperfection, you learn the value of self-forgiveness and the ability to let go of your mistakes in favor of embracing the lessons you can learn from them.

 

You wouldn’t think these steps are all so very important at first glance. After all, is chasing imperfection worthwhile?

 

The answer is a resounding, "Yes!" Perfection is what pulls us away from others and gets us so tangled up inside with worry and stress about getting things right; we negatively impact our mental and physical health. 

 

With this in mind, isn’t it time to let go and enjoy life once and for all?

 

5 Steps for Using Visualization to Get What You Want in Life

What do you want out of life? For some of us, it’s personal improvement. We’d like to lose weight, become stronger and more physically able. Maybe we’d like to achieve something in the world of sports, by winning a race or even running in one. 

 

For others, our goals have to do with our jobs. We want a coveted position, or to seek out something that satisfies on some deeper level. Or maybe it’s to create something, such as writing a book or learning how to paint.

 

Whatever it is you desire most, the question is, how do you intend to go about getting it? The key? Visualization.

 

Visualization takes a goal and makes it concrete and even attainable in our minds. This process is how we bring it about in our lives. How? 

 

Figure Out Your Goal

 

You’ll go nowhere fast if you don’t know where you’re heading. It’s a lot like getting in a car and expecting to get somewhere without a destination. All you’ll do is wind up driving aimlessly and getting nowhere fast. To find your goal, ask yourself what you’re passionate about. What’s the one thing you want to do more than any other?

 

Explore the Details

 

Next, you’re going to want to explore the goal in depth. Experience it thoroughly by using all of your senses. What do you see when you envision it? How does it feel? What does it smell like or even taste like? What do you hear when you think about it? What emotions come alive in you when you think about reaching this goal?

 

Plan for Roadblocks

 

It would be silly to think a goal could be achieved without any kind of trouble along the way. What are the problems you’re most likely going to encounter in this journey? How can you solve them? Include this in your vision.

 

Visualize it Repeatedly

 

You need to be familiar with your dream if you wish to achieve it. Visualization is something you need to practice several times a week. Make a daily practice of visualization. Be consistent in this.

 

Boost Your Success

 

Still floundering? Try starting visualization with a relaxation exercise. Make sure to cut out distractions, whether internal or external, and layer in a little pep talk to bring up your energy. Your best success comes from setting yourself up to succeed from the start.

 

By using these tips, you’ll quickly master the fine art of visualization. Remember, this only works if you’re consistent. Stay the course, and soon you’ll be finding success in whatever it is you wish to pursue.

 

Never Look at a Failure as Final

Do you know anyone who seems to be bulletproof? You know, that friend of yours that takes failures in stride and is always smiling and moving forward in life. How do they do it? You know they're not immune to setbacks or hardship. They just seem to be able to bounce back quickly. Life's inevitable difficulties don't keep them from living the life they desire.

 

By the way, that person can be you. Mental resilience is something that can be developed. It's not a character trait you have to be born with. Every time you suffer some type of loss or failure, you have an opportunity to respond with resilience and emotional control.

 

If that seems impossible for you sometimes, here's what you need to start doing. Never look at a failure as the final result. Don't let some hardship or difficulty be the final chapter in your story. Or, as famous author F. Scott Fitzgerald said ...

 

"Never confuse a single defeat with a final defeat."

 

That is such a powerful reminder that your outlook is everything. The person with resilience chooses a positive outlook. They understand that negative things are going to happen in their life. Yet they don't allow that to be the end of their journey.

 

They don't embrace any single failure or loss as the final declaration of who they are.

 

Just Take One More Step

 

Resilience means persisting. You keep going. You push forward and see life's difficulties as nothing more than challenges. You can either become stronger and more capable or allow a defeat or failure to be a statement of who you are.

 

This can seem like simple advice, but the truth is, sometimes, the hardship we encounter in life can be truly debilitating. We simply don't see a way out. The worst of possible things has happened, and there's simply no way that we see any good coming from this.

 

When this happens, as it inevitably will in life, just take one step forward.

 

Don't worry about some big end result. You may be in a terrible situation. If you are, just make one positive movement. 

 

Have one positive thought. Move in the direction of a positive outcome. Even if it's miles away, don't worry about that end result. Just take the first step that moves you a little bit away from the difficulty you encountered.

 

Never let any single defeat be your final defeat. The instant you decide to relentlessly push forward, you show the world and yourself that you are a resilient human being. You won't be kept down for long because your unbreakable mental resolve won't allow you to be defined by defeat.

 

The Importance of Self-Love

You’ve been told time and time again to love those around you, but did you know that you also must love yourself? There are several reasons to love yourself, all of which are important. Read on to find out more about the importance of self-love and why you should prioritize it in your life. 

 

Self-Love is Important for Relationships

 

The number one reason self-love is important is that before you can love someone else, you must first learn to love yourself. You learn about how to treat someone you love based on how you treat yourself. So if you don’t treat yourself with respect and love, you won’t be able to treat someone you love the same way. This can ruin your relationships with others, both friends and family alike. Therefore, if you want to love others, start by loving yourself.

 

Without Self-Love, You’ll Burn Out

 

Besides learning how to love yourself to love others, you also need to learn how to love yourself so you don't burn out. Burnout happens when you spend too much time focusing on others or your duties in life and neglecting self-care. It is characterized by an inability to focus and a sense of exhaustion that won't go away. Self-love is important because it helps keep you from burning out. 

 

Self-Love is Critical to Success

 

Do you want to be successful? Who doesn't! Self-love is important for success. This is because you can't possibly focus on bettering yourself or your place in life while you are constantly being negative about yourself or your abilities. You need to love yourself and embrace your flaws to use them to your advantage. Learning to love even the mistakes you make is a critical part of self-love. 

 

Self-Love Makes You Happier

 

Do you enjoy walking around not liking who you are as a person? Probably not. It is impossible to be happy when you spend your whole life hating on yourself and not loving yourself. If you want to lead a happy and healthy life, you need to work towards self-love today. Plus, you will feel better when you practice self-love, and when you feel better about yourself and the world around you, happiness isn't that far behind!

 

Self-love is a difficult thing to pursue in life, but it is critical to the quality of your life. Without self-love, you will have poor relationships with others, you may burn out, and you will probably never achieve success. Not to mention that you probably won't lead a very happy life! This is why you should put self-love first in your life today! 

 

5 Benefits of Daily Optimism

There is increasing evidence that being optimistic about life has measurable benefits, not just for your mental health, but your physical well-being too. Scientific studies have shown that as you become more optimistic, your life will improve in all sorts of ways. You’re even likely to have a longer life, just from being more hopeful and positive. 

Among the many benefits of being optimistic are:

 

1.    Optimists are healthier

 

Optimists not only rate their own health and wellbeing as better, but studies have also shown that optimists have better mental and physical health than pessimists. In a study of the effects of positive psychological well-being, optimism was found to be the biggest predictor of improved heart health. Optimists also have lower blood pressure and cholesterol and a lower risk of developing heart disease.

 

2.    Optimists live longer

 

A study by the University of Pittsburgh found that of the 100,000 women studied over eight years, optimists were less likely to die from any cause than women with a more pessimistic outlook.  That was confirmed by a later Harvard study that showed the women who had a positive outlook had a much lower risk (nearly 30% less) of dying from serious illnesses. 

 

3.    Optimists are happier

 

It might seem obvious that an optimist would be happier than a pessimist. But it has been shown that optimists are not just sunnier in their dispositions, but they are measurably happier in their relationships, jobs, and life in general. They deal better with stress, are more resilient in bad times, and produce less cortisol, the stress hormone that leads to inflammation and a lowered immune system.

 

4.    Optimists have smoother career paths

 

Researchers from Duke University found that the optimistic MBA graduates they studied were more likely to find a job, earn a higher starting salary, and have more frequent promotions than the pessimists in the group. Optimists also deal better with negative feedback, seeing it as an opportunity to improve and increase their chance of promotion in the future. 

 

5.    Optimists roll with the punches

 

Life’s adversities do not crush an optimist; they remain hopeful about the future. Optimism helps you deal with whatever limiting beliefs you have developed and shows you a way out. Being positive about life’s possibilities means you focus on what you can do. It boosts your confidence and makes you more likely to look for constructive solutions. It stops you feeling stuck or at the mercy of other people. If you’re optimistic, you know you can do it!

 

6 Ways to Cultivate Optimism Each Day

You might be surprised to hear that optimism is not an innate quality. Optimism and pessimism are ways of looking at yourself and the world through a positive or negative filter. Once you think of them as reflections of your mindset, it becomes much easier to believe you can change. Like any new behavior, you need to practice every day for it to become a habit. Try these six suggestions to cultivate your optimism every day. 

 

1.    Keep a journal

 

Journaling or keeping a diary allows you to process events and to get a different perspective on them. It encourages self-reflection and captures insights into your thinking and behavior. You can write down what happened during your day and document, not just the bald facts but how you did it, what you did to make it happen and what you did right. And, importantly, how it felt while you were doing it. Don’t just record the good things (a promotion, a presentation or meeting that went well), remember to write down the thing that didn’t go so well and reflect on what happened, how you dealt with it, and what you might do differently next time. 

 

2.    Laugh

 

Consciously notice the funny side of things and write them down. If the technology didn’t work, and you had to give the presentation without the slide deck, or the power went out, or there was a fire drill in the middle of your crucial meeting. What can seem like a disaster at the time can also be looked back on as a comedy of errors.

 

3.    Write to your future 

 

Write a letter or a journal entry that sets out the future you want. What job are you doing? Are you running your own business? What have you learned? What has changed? Imagining how your future life looks and feels can be a powerful motivator.

 

4.    Keep a kindness list

 

Have a page in your journal where you note down kind gestures. Write down when you are kind to someone, or when someone is kind to you. Even little things count, like opening a door for someone or letting them go first in the line for coffee. You’ll be surprised at how quickly they mount up, and your ever-lengthening list will give you a different perspective on things.

 

5.    Say thank you

 

Write a letter or email, phone or visit someone (a person outside your family) who has been genuinely kind to you. Tell them how much you appreciate what they did or said and how it has affected your life. 

 

6.    Choose positivity

 

Make the positive choice to develop and maintain an optimistic outlook. Do this every morning when you wake up. Decide that today is going to be a great day. Everyone will have some level of suffering in their life. Choosing to be optimistic will make it easier to bounce back from the bad times and to enjoy and be certain of the good times. 

5 Ways To Boost Emotional Growth

Emotional growth, also known as emotional maturity, is being wise enough to understand your feelings and apply that understanding in your life. People with emotional maturity are good at handling difficult situations in a calm, non-invasive manner.

 

They also know when to reach out for help or acknowledge that they need a break for fear of burning out. This level of self-awareness allows you to identify your emotions and those of others around you. Thus, it will enable you to enjoy better relationships and live a more fulfilling life.

 

Several studies have been carried out on the value of emotional growth, especially in the workforce. Their findings show that the highest performers were those who displayed high levels of emotional maturity.

 

So, it’s not just about regular intelligence anymore. Emotional growth is just as important in both your professional and personal lives.

 

Let’s take a look at five ways to boost emotional growth.

 

Become More Self-Assured

 

Emotionally mature people know how to communicate their thoughts and beliefs in an assertive yet respectful way. They earn people’s respect because they know they come off as neither being too passive nor too aggressive.

 

They’re good at being direct and getting straight to the point. Still, they consider others’ opinions and respect what they have to offer.

 

Learn to Listen

 

There’s a difference between hearing someone speak and actually listening to what they’re saying. Most people just nod their heads as they wait for their turn to speak.

 

But actively listening means you pay close attention to what someone is saying before offering a valid response. It also means you hone in on the speaker’s nonverbal clues. This helps avoid any misunderstanding or mix-up that might take place during the conversation.

 

Maintain a Positive Mindset

 

Your thoughts determine your outlook on life, which determines your behavior. Hence, being aware of your mood and doing what needs to be done to have a good day is a great way to boost your emotional growth.

 

For example, you’re late for a meeting because you got stuck in traffic. Rather than complain and fuss all day over what happened, you can choose to keep an open mind.

 

One way to do that is to write down an uplifting quote that makes you smile and keep it at your desk. You can also practice mindfulness meditation or just go for a walk during your lunch hour.

 

Be Your Own Motivator

 

People who work on their emotional intelligence are self-motivators. They recognize that success comes from the inside. They don’t wait for others to cheer them on or for circumstances to magically align in their favor.

 

Instead, they set goals, and they work hard to attain them. They also remain steadfast in the face of challenges and don’t let setbacks get them down.

 

Empathize with Others

 

Learning how to empathize with others isn’t easy. First, it requires that you take a close look at your own emotions and self-worth, which can be intimidating at first.

 

Yet, once you get past those initial barriers, you’ll find that it’s quite liberating. Empathy is also more about empowerment and emotional strength than anything else.

 

There’s nothing better than being able to relate to others. It’s a great way to find common ground based on mutual respect, despite any differences in opinion or belief people may have.

 

A Final Note

 

Emotional growth, or maturity, is being aware of your feelings and subsequent actions. It’s how you interact with others and listen to what they’re really saying. It’s also your ability to empathize with others and identify with them on a basic human level.

 

By boosting your emotional growth, you have a better understanding of how you see yourself and those around you. As a result, you can achieve more, learn to be proud of your accomplishments, and give yourself the encouragement you need to do even more!

 

Healthy Coping With A Traumatic Event

Traumatic events tend to trigger all sorts of feelings, like stress, nervousness, sadness, anger, and more! These events can be personal, like an assault or abuse. They can also be a global crisis, like a flood or a pandemic.

 

Nevertheless, these experiences can leave an emotional and mental toll. However, if dealt with in a healthy way, the symptoms can slowly get better. Keep reading to find out more.

 

Symptoms Brought on by a Traumatic Event

 

Unfortunately, most of us will be exposed to traumatic events during our lifetimes. In response, we suffer from what experts refer to as ‘traumatic stress.’

 

Sometimes, we’re not the victims of the events but mere witnesses. Yet, we can still suffer from traumatic stress just the same.

 

Below are some of the ways this stress can manifest itself.

 

Emotional symptoms, such as:

 

• Disbelief and shock
• Sadness and grief
• Feeling jumpy and nervous
• Anger Irritability
• Shame or guilt
• Helplessness

 

Physical symptoms include:

 

• Getting flashbacks and intrusive thoughts
• Aches and pains
• Cold sweats
• Increase or loss in appetite
• Shallow, rapid breathing
• Feeling dizzy or nauseous

 

Coping with a Traumatic Event

 

Some people find outlets for their symptoms, and with time, they usually get better.

 

Others, however, develop acute stress disorder. This is when the symptoms are much more intense, thus, much more difficult to go away on their own.

 

The good news is that psychologists and other medical experts have rounded up a handful of healthy ways to cope with the aftermath of a traumatic event.

 

Embrace Your Emotions

 

Often after going through something traumatic, the last thing we want to do is rehash our thoughts and feelings. But avoiding your feelings isn’t a healthy way to deal with what happened.

 

While taking some time for yourself is normal, too much avoidance can be disruptive. It can even prolong your stress and delay your healing.

 

You can face your feelings on your own by writing in a journal. The other option is to talk it out and find support from loved ones, peer groups, or mental health professionals.

 

Find what makes you comfortable, and slowly but surely, you’ll find yourself getting back in the groove.

 

Prioritize Self-Care

 

After a traumatic event, especially after that first month, things like good sleep, healthy eating, and exercise can easily slip your mind. All you want to do is stay in bed under the covers out of harm’s way.

 

However, the best thing you can do to push through this difficult time is to make a conscious effort each day to get up and do right by yourself.

 

Studies show that regular physical exercise releases stress and anxiety. It also signals your brain to release feel-good hormones, which improve your mood. So, why not start with something simple like taking a 15-minute walk outside?

 

Other self-care ideas include:

 

• Eating well-balanced nutritious meals
• Getting quality sleep each night
• Spend time in nature
• Practice mindful meditation
• Do yoga
• Find a creative outlet, like music or art

 

Establish a Routine

 

There’s safety and comfort in the familiar. That’s why getting back to your daily routine is important.

 

Some people can get back after a few days, while others need several weeks. The important thing is to structure your days in a way that there are set times for certain things.

Even if your work or school schedule is disrupted, you can create and maintain a new schedule to give you a feeling of security and control.

 

For example, get into the habit of going to bed and waking up at the same time each day. It may take a few days to get the hang of it, but getting quality sleep each night will make you feel less anxious and speed up the healing process.

 

It also pays off to create a schedule for your meals, workouts, and me-time. Having that structure and sense of control can help minimize your feelings of helplessness and anxiety.

 

A Final Note

 

It’s normal to have a strong reaction after going through a trauma. Yet, the good news is that there are healthy coping mechanisms to get you through a traumatic event.

 

Remember to take one day at a time. Also, give yourself the love and empathy you need to heal and recover. Then, as the days pass, your symptoms will begin to improve, and you’ll start feeling like your normal self.