5 Benefits of Conflict

When you experience a violent storm, it’s easy to rail against the weather. The wind and the rain can seem terrifying, especially when coupled with the crash of thunder and the bright crackle of lightning splitting the sky. But ask any farmer, and they’ll tell you that even storms have their benefits. The rain is necessary for their crops. And believe it or not, lightning, when it strikes the ground, puts nitrogen into the soil that’s so badly needed for things to grow.

 

Likewise, conflict in the workplace has certain benefits that we don’t always see initially. Keep reading to find several of them you might not have considered before now.

 

• Conflicts make us aware of new ways to do things. The very fact that there’s a conflict tells you that someone else has a different point of view from your own. By exploring those conflicts, you are likewise invited to explore the idea from a new angle, and maybe see a new solution that wouldn’t have occurred previously. 

• Conflicts enable us to verbalize better what we want. Think of conflict as a way of being able to genuinely express yourself that doesn’t come up easily at other times. It’s through conflict that we decide what’s important to us, and how to put those feelings into words.

• Conflict drives flexibility. When we conflict, we’re hoping for others to see our point of view. But also in dealing with conflict, we’re forced to see the point of view of those around us. That is where we learn how to become flexible, to acknowledge that we’re not always right. The conflict then becomes the teacher of two traits that you can’t live without—that of being open-minded, and of understanding humility.

• Conflict forces us to listen. The only way to resolve conflict is to listen openly to the other person. Through listening, we acquire wisdom and learn to make better decisions. 

• Conflict drives solutions. When you deal with conflict, you are likewise dealing with a problem that needs a solution. Resolving that conflict means finding those solutions, usually in new and innovative ways. Conflict, therefore, forces us to solve our problems creatively.

 

While initially, you might shy away from the idea of conflict, it’s good to remember these benefits. Without conflict, we stagnate. So while the storm outside might rage, remember that eventually, all tempests do come to an end. The sun will come out again, and in that light, you’ll be able to see just how much you’ve grown and benefitted by that conflict.

6 Ways to Better Deal with Conflict

Very few people enjoy conflict. In the workplace, conflict is especially difficult. Our co-workers, the people under us, the people over us, they’re all people we might potentially meet on the field of battle. Knowing how to deal with conflict will determine how people around you perceive you in the future. And therefore it determines the opportunities you’ll see from that point forward.

 

With that in mind, knowing how to better deal with conflict becomes very important indeed. How do you handle these differences of opinion?

 

• Know what’s facing you. What you thought was one big conflict might, in reality, be a collection of smaller conflicts. By understanding what you’re trying to tackle, you’ll be better able to find the resolution needed to move forward.

• Strive for a calm, logical mind. Things quickly escalate where emotions are involved. By taking out the hurt and angry feelings and focusing on the facts, you can better confront the real issues, without getting sidetracked by things that only warp your perception of the situation.

• Let go of the past. Whatever happened, happened. Instead of getting caught in the trap of assigning blame, instead, focus on the situation where it is now. It’s better to spend your energy in problem-solving rather than history. Besides, isn’t it better to be the bigger person? 

• Look at the bigger picture. Did this conflict come about because of circumstances that were outside of anyone’s control? It might be some context is needed to calm the situation down. Once the entire situation is clearly understood, it’s much easier to move forward without a lot of anger and recriminations.

• Watch your words. While it’s good being honest, you don’t need to blurt out every last thing that you’re thinking. Own up to your part in things. Listen carefully to what others have to say. And when you do speak, us a calm tone of voice and stay focused on the matter at hand.

• Allow resolution. Whether or not you approve of any solution, accept it when one is found and agreed. Then let go of the conflict and don’t revisit it. Move on.

 

What would the workplace be without conflict? While many dread it when it comes, it’s good to remember that conflict is what always precedes change, and change is what’s necessary for positive progress. What’s important to remember then, is how we deal with conflict that matters. Will we allow conflict to overwhelm us and stop us in our tracks? Or will we allow it to guide us toward the growth we so desperately need? Only you know the answer.

Slow Down & Enjoy Life

Frazzled is a word that perfectly encapsulates some of our feelings about our modern lives. When you're frazzled, you feel like you're at your wits' end. Words like exhaustion, strain, and burnout come to mind. You feel not only fatigue, but like you have things coming at you from so many directions you don't know what to do.

 

This can result from a hectic lifestyle that never slows down. You think the harder and the faster you go, the more you accomplish. What actually happens is quite the opposite. Your productivity can plummet when you don't take the time to apply your energy with focus.

 

You can enjoy life when you slow down and stop rushing from one thing to the next. 

 

If you're constantly moving on to something else, your focus is on anything but the present moment. How can you appreciate your life and all that surrounds it if you don't stop and immerse yourself into your "right now" reality?

 

Life Is a Series of "Right Now" Moments, so Slow Down and Enjoy Them

 

An argument can be made that your past really doesn't exist. It certainly doesn't exist in the present moment. So how do you know that it ever really happened? The same can be said about the future since it is continually becoming the present.

 

If all you have are memories of the past and plans for the future, with no control over either of those states of being, why not embrace your present moment?

 

If you're constantly on the go and pushing to do something and be somewhere, you can spend your entire life chasing the future. This could lead to regret in your final moments because you don't remember what happened. You were so busy speeding through life that you didn't enjoy the journey.

 

Stop saying yes to all those overtime shifts at work. Don't make everything in your life a competition, feeling like you must beat someone else to make your life worthwhile. Work on one task at a time. Multitasking is really just multi-stressing. Tell the people you care about that you love them, and spend more quality time with them.

 

If you're sitting on a ton of vacation time at work, use it. Enjoy some time doing things you want instead of things you must do. Throughout your busy day, grab a few minutes here and there to stop. Take a deep breath and look around. Enjoy the moment and bask in the truly wondrous nature of your existence. If you don't slow down and enjoy life, it can slip by without you appreciating what a wonderful gift it is.

3 Steps to Finish What You Start

Do you often struggle to finish the projects you start, even when you have every intention of finishing them? 

 

Believe it or not, this is a common problem that most people face. Luckily, you can follow a few steps to ensure that you can become the type of person who finishes a project once you start it.

 

Make A Plan

 

The first step to finishing a task is making sure you have a plan at the beginning. It needs to be a plan which you write down. A mental note isn't worth the piece of paper it is written on. You may want to jump in and start something in your excitement, but you might not realize all the work and challenges you will face. When you take the time to make a plan, this will better prepare you for the task at hand, and you'll be able to spot problems much more easily.

 

Take A Break

 

If you find yourself getting overly frustrated or beginning to loathe the project because you've been working on it for so long, it's okay to take a short break. This break will help reset your mind and focus. You might even be able to solve some of the problems you are facing while you take this little breather. Just make sure that when you set an endpoint to your break, this way you can hold yourself to it and not just abandon the project.

 

Make Small Goals and Rewards For Yourself

 

As you plan how you will conquer your task or project, break your goal into smaller mini-goals. Then, cross them off and reward yourself as you complete them. It will help keep you on task, and you'll be able to feel as if you are making progress, even if it's small.  This progress will do wonders to keep your spirits high while working on the project. The little rewards you are giving yourself will probably help too.

 

So next time you get excited about a new project or goal in your life, slow down a bit and make a plan, complete with smaller goals and rewards for yourself. Then, as you pursue the project, don't be afraid to take small breaks if you need to recuperate. Chances are, thanks to these three steps, you will be much more likely to finish your new goal than leave it abandoned. 

6 Techniques to Stop Making Excuses for Not Taking Action on Your Big Goals

Are you the master of making excuses? Do you have a reason for every occasion when asked why you haven’t taken action on your Big Goals yet? If so, it’s time to take action. Those Big Goals have waited long enough. Today is the day your life changes! How? Keep reading to learn some exciting techniques designed to get your life back on track in no time.

 

Be You

 

If you think you can’t get anywhere because someone else already did it better, well think again. Regardless of who you’re comparing yourself to, no one will tackle a problem in the same way you will. Instead, relax and jump into action your way. See where being you can take you.

 

Step into the Unknown

 

Holding back because you don’t know what happens next? Sometimes you just have to find your hidden adventurer. Indulge your curiosity and jump into doing something new just to find out what happens. Besides, how unknown is it? If you’ve done your research, you probably already have a pretty good idea of just what’s going to happen.

 

Take Responsibility

 

Feeling trapped into a cycle of not being able to act because someone else is holding you back? This is just another version of the blame game. Really, the one holding you back when you make these statements is you. You’re where you are because you put yourself there. The key is to start making choices to move from this spot. 

 

Break Things Down

 

Can’t start because you’re overwhelmed? Chop up the goal into a series of much smaller action steps. Take things in small bites, celebrating each milestone as you reach it. You’ll get to the goal eventually, just hang in there.

 

Focus on the Positive

 

It’s too easy to quit because you see all the ways you’re not good enough. Instead, focus on your talents and abilities. What can you do? Better yet, what can you learn to push yourself forward? By seeing what’s possible, you’ll shift your thinking over to someone more ready to act than hold back.

 

Do Something!

 

In the end, you have to act. Making excuses about being tired or not having time isn’t going to cut it. If something is important to you, fatigue doesn’t matter. You’ll make the time (like you did when you binge-watched an entire series on Netflix). The key is to take the first step. Guaranteed, the next steps will come much easier once you’re already in motion.

 

By using these techniques, you’ll find you no longer need excuses. In fact, you’re probably feeling kind of eager to get to work about now. This is a good thing! So dust off those Big Goals, because good things are about to start happening!

5 Positive Traits You Develop When You Stop Seeking Validation

How would you like to be a better person?

 

If you spend time reading self-help articles, you probably think most change comes from doing something new. Today you’re going to try something different. Rather than starting a whole new regimen or adopting a new behavior, you’re going to develop five positive traits all by stopping something you’ve been doing all your life.

 

From the time we’re small, we learn validation feels good. We seek it out, looking for understanding, acceptance, and inner peace. We don't realize just how much this constant search for positive attention is holding us back. Consider these five things which happen when you stop looking outside yourself for validation:

 

You See a More Diverse World

 

Consider this: everyone really doesn’t have to agree with each other after all. Instead of seeking validation by going along with what those around you are thinking or doing, maybe you can set a new trend by expressing who you are. Encourage those around you to likewise speak up and be their own people. Imagine how much nicer the world would be if we all could do this!

 

You’re More Certain of Things

 

When we rely on other people to tell us if we’re doing things right or not, we can get mixed messages. Someone likes our work, while someone else might not. Now imagine this: if validation doesn’t matter, you know the only opinion which truly matters is yours. This certainly clears out the confusion!

 

You Take Better Care of Yourself

 

It's hard to put forward your needs when you're too busy seeing to the needs of others or rushing about trying to appease those around you. These are the traits that lead to overwork and exhaustion. When you quit seeking validation, you can step back when you need to and get proper rest. You'll also find it easier to express when you need a break or to get something to eat.

 

You Become a Calmer Person

 

There's certainly a lot less stress if you don't have to impress everyone around you all the time. With all the pressure off, you can relax into just being yourself.

 

You Exude Confidence

 

Finally, you don't need anyone else to inform you of your worth when you drop validation. You already know how amazing you are. When you carry this knowledge with you, you can't help but walk a little taller. This is you at your best, and the world knows it.

Are You Using the 5 C’s of Great Storytelling?

Successful writers will tell you there are always certain components to a successful story. They will also tell you that rules are made to be broken. That means it won't necessarily be a flop if your story doesn't have the components we're about to discuss. You can still tell great stories if you miss one or two of the following pieces. You're just making the job more difficult on yourself.

 

It would be best to have the following five C's in your story most of the time.

 

1. Circumstances
2. Conflict
3. Crisis
4. Climax
5. Conclusion

 

To paint a clear picture, let's use the Cinderella fairytale.

 

Cinderella has a pitiful life with her evil stepsisters and stepmother, who constantly harass her. She receives an invitation to the royal ball. Alas, she has nothing to wear and no way to get to the ball. Her fairy godmother appears and supplies her with a dress and a coach to transport her. 

 

Cinderella is told she must be back home before midnight. She goes to the ball, the Prince falls in love with her, then midnight strikes, and she's back to her less-than-enviable life. She loses a shoe at the ball, and the Prince finds it. He tries it on the feet of the women in his kingdom and eventually finds Cinderella. They live happily ever after.

 

Circumstances

 

Cinderella has a difficult life cleaning for her stepmother and stepsisters, and they constantly bully and mistreat her.

 

Conflict

 

She is ecstatic that she received an invitation to the royal ball but has nothing to wear. And if she did have a suitable gown, how would she get to the ball?

 

Crisis

 

She's having the time of her life but has to leave the Prince before midnight strikes, and he discovers who she really is.

 

Climax

 

The Prince finds her, and she once again has hopes for a great life.

 

Conclusion

 

They live happily ever after.

 

As you can see, if you had those five components figured out, then you would only need to flesh out the story. If you can create your five C's before you begin writing your story, filling in the blanks is simple. You're providing yourself an outline that's been proven to engage your audience and compel them to keep on reading. Use the five C's of crafting a story, and your storytelling ability will grow.

Great Storytellers Always Have a Clear and Defined Message

When you finish a great book, you know what happened. That might sound silly, but not all books do this. When preparing speeches or attempting to write the next great novel, they don't always stick to a main message, lesson, or theme. They try to include too much.

 

Better stories start out with a definite idea in mind. You know what you're moving towards. You have an idea; even if you don't know how your story will end, you know where it's heading.

 

This is true of fiction, nonfiction, stories that teach morals, and humorous content. You want to be crystal clear on the central theme. You want your plot to be evident, and once your story kicks into high gear, it shouldn't move from its focus.

 

Learn This Lesson from "The Old Man and the Sea"

 

Ernest Hemingway's short novel, "The Old Man and the Sea," was his last major work of fiction. It was published in 1952, earning him the 1953 Pulitzer Prize for fiction. Some claim it to be the legendary author's most important work, and if you want a lesson in great storytelling, definitely read it.

 

It works partly because it never wavers from a simple but clearly defined plot. It's not confusing. There isn't a lot going on. There are only two main human characters and a third important character, an 18-foot-blue marlin. That's it. Other characters make very small appearances, but basically, these three characters are the entire book.

 

The basic plot of the story is clear and simple. An old fisherman who hasn't caught anything worthwhile in a long time struggles to catch a Marlin of massive proportions. He battles the fish, weather, sharks, and cuts to his hand but never gives up.

 

That's the story's basic plot- and Hemingway sticks to it. 

 

Keep Your Plot Simple and Clear

 

The message or lesson of the story is that if you want to accomplish something, you should never give up, no matter what gets in your way. The plot is also simple and crystal-clear. You have a fisherman in a boat and a fish he's trying to catch. That's the gist of it. 

 

Getting into the story is easy because you aren't distracted by unnecessary characters and subplots. Remember, you'll tell better stories with a clearly defined and simple plot that your readers can easily follow.

If You Want to Tell a Better Story, Just Look in the Mirror

People have been telling stories for a long time. Your earliest human ancestors told stories to pass on knowledge. They used them as a way to understand their surroundings and their lives. Stories are proven to convey a message, teach a lesson or pass on information and history.

 

You might want to teach your children a life lesson. Maybe you want them to stop leaving their rooms messy or to get better at doing their other chores. Perhaps you have a presentation you have to give at work. Maybe you're writing for pleasure or for a living.

 

In all these cases, you need to look no further than the mirror to write a great story.

 

What Story Are You Trying to Tell?

 

You might be telling a story that has little relevance to your life. Even so, you'll be able to take your own life experiences and weave them into the story. This makes your content relatable. Your audience can identify with you as a real person, even if the story you're telling has unbelievable characters.

 

Look in the mirror. Look at yourself and your successes and failures. What personal experiences have you had that you can include in some way in the story you're trying to tell? Look to your life for inspiration and ideas for new stories and make any story more human.

 

Incidentally, this works with fiction and nonfiction alike. It works best when you create a narrative from your personal experiences. Don't be shy about painting yourself as an imperfect person. That's what other people will relate to. Please talk about your failings, your conflict, and how you overcame it.

 

Does Your Audience Know You Very Well?

 

If your readers or listeners know something about you, mention it. This is another way to make your story carry weight. You are connecting with your audience. Again, you don't personally have to be a character in your story or your message. You add positive and negative life experiences to give your content a feeling of reality.

 

Whether your audience knows you or not, try to turn your life's lessons into narratives. Make these lessons into stories in and of themselves. Then tie them into the central theme or major plot of your bigger story. 

 

This makes you more relatable and real to your audience. It also means quicker and easier writing because you're working from a place of experience and familiarity.

3 Techniques to Help You Wake Up Earlier

Waking up earlier is a great way to increase your discipline and become more productive. 

 

Waking up earlier isn't always easy, however. Below are three techniques that can help you to be able to wake up earlier. 

 

Wake Up at the Same Time Every Day

 

The first few days that you start to wake up earlier will be hard no matter what you do. But, if you develop a routine and wake up at the same time every day, you will find over time that it becomes easier and easier for you to wake up early. 

 

Your body thrives on routine when it comes to sleep. It produces melatonin at a certain time that helps you fall asleep faster and stay asleep when you do. If your body knows when you will go to sleep each night, this can help it to produce the right amount of melatonin and stop when it is time for you to wake up. Pretty cool, huh?

 

Put Your Alarm Clock Far From Your Bed

 

If your alarm is your phone, it can be all too easy to reach over when the alarm goes off, shut it off, and continue to get a little more shuteye. Instead, it's time to leave your phone across the room. That way, when it does go off, you will have to get out of bed to shut it off. It would help if you also made your alarm a sound you like so that you aren't cringing and diving to shut it off the moment it goes off. 

 

Plan Your Mornings

 

Everything is more fun with a plan, and it is time to do the same with your mornings! Make a plan that you are looking forward to, so you don't dread getting out of bed when the alarm goes off. 

 

Your morning should include some good things for your health, like meditation and exercise, but don't be afraid to plan a nice breakfast afterward to reward yourself. Think about it this way, getting out of bed for pancakes is a lot easier than getting out of bed to rush to work without breakfast! Be sure to write down your plan for your morning so you can see right when you wake up all the exciting things you have to look forward to!

 

Overall, learning to wake up early isn't the easiest. Still, if you start by getting up early every day, placing your alarm clock far from your bed, and planning something fun in your morning, you'll likely find that eventually, you will be looking forward to getting up early every day! 

How Waking Up Early Can Change Your Life

Waking up early can seem so inconsequential. It is often easier to shut off the alarm and tell yourself that you deserve a little extra sleep than it is to get up and start your day when the sun is just peeking over the horizon! 

 

But the truth is, waking up early can change your life. Keep reading to find out how! 

 

You Will Be More Motivated

 

As much as you think that more sleep might help to motivate you more, the opposite is true. When you don't get out of bed at a reasonable time, your motivation tends to evaporate while you continue to snuggle under the covers. Think about all you could accomplish with more motivation. Have you thought of something big? Well, once you start to get up earlier, you will likely be motivated to accomplish whatever you are thinking of! 

 

You Will Be More Productive

 

Besides just being more motivated, you will have time to put that motivation to work. That means that you will be more productive. Not only that, but it is easier to be productive in the early hours of the morning when no one is bothering you than it is later in the day when your phone is ringing off the hook! So start your day early, and you'll be surprised at just how much you can get done. You might be able to achieve your dreams even.

 

You Will Have a Healthier Life

 

Have you wanted to eat healthily and exercise more but don't know how to fit it into your day? When you get up earlier, it will make it easier to live a healthier lifestyle. You will be able to start your day off with a routine that supports your physical and mental health rather than brushing those things aside. Just think about it; you can exercise, eat a healthy breakfast, and meditate, all before the work day's stress takes over.  

 

You’ll Have More Confidence

 

Does being more motivated, productive, and healthy sound great? Of course, it does! When you have all of these things, they will be a natural boost to your self-confidence. Not only will you be all of the above things, but you will be all of them with confidence, and that alone will change your life.

 

Overall, there is no other way to look at it. Waking up earlier really can change your life. You will be more productive, motivated, confident, and healthy—all aspects which will lead to your success. So, start getting up early today so that you can start achieving your wildest dreams by tomorrow. 

3 Tips for Better Grounding to Reduce Anxiety

Were you ever grounded as a child? This is a form of punishment. If you somehow ran afoul of your parents’ rules, they would ground you to your room or some other specific space. The idea is that you can't leave that space for a certain amount of time.

 

Grounded children learn to make the best out of a bad situation. They look around their punishment environment to find something in this confined area that will distract them. They engage their senses with what they have access to rather than thinking about things they aren't able to do (play with their friends, watch television, ride their bicycle).

 

If you need to deal with anxiety, you can ground yourself as an adult.

 

This form of therapeutic grounding is similar to your punishment as a child. You limit your sensory involvement to the immediate area. This involves attaching yourself to the "right now" moment and your current physical space. Here are three tips that will help you get more anxiety relief from grounding.

 

1. Practice Makes Perfect

 

The human brain is an amazing computer. You can program it to do so many things. Many of your skills and abilities were developed thanks to you repeatedly practicing them.

 

Practice grounding, and you will get better at it over time. This is because your mind recognizes things you do repeatedly. It assumes that if you consciously repeat certain behaviors, they must benefit you, or you wouldn't do them.

 

Where grounding is concerned, practice is powerful. 

 

Calm yourself and engage your senses. What do you see, smell, hear, touch, and taste right now? Ground yourself in the present moment only. Take your focus away from what's causing your anxiety. Place it in your immediate environment. The more you practice this, the better you'll get at removing your focus from what's making you anxious.

 

2. Build a Support Network

 

The people you care about can help you with this process. Teach them what grounding does for you and why you use it; to relieve anxiety. Enlisting help this way can be wonderful because sometimes anxiety might be sneaking up on you without you recognizing it. A friend may be able to tell you that you might benefit from some grounding if they see warning signs of anxiety.

 

They may say, "Are you feeling anxious? Let's do some grounding. What color is the shirt I'm wearing? How does your clothing feel on you? What do you smell right now? What sounds are you hearing?"

 

3. Open Your Eyes

 

Anxiety involves worrying and obsessing over some real or perceived thought or experience. It's usually not something that's going on in your current moment. This is why you want to keep your eyes open and focus on the physically present things around you right now.

 

If you close your eyes, you limit your sensory input dramatically. This can allow your mind to wander to those anxious feelings and experiences. Open your eyes for a better grounding experience and let them take in all the visual input in your immediate environment.

 

Using your senses to ground you in reality can calm an anxious mind. These three tips help improve your grounding so you enjoy less stress and anxiety.