Knowing When to Take a Stand (and When Not to)

Getting involved in petty arguments will get you nowhere. It's a great way to stifle creativity and kill productivity. You see it happen in business meetings all the time.

 

One person pitches a certain approach. Someone else argues against that particular idea. Maybe a third person gets involved. An hour or more can be spent monopolizing the time of everyone in the room and little progress is made.

 

Sometimes this is the way you come up with great ideas.

 

It's a great brainstorming tactic. You get a bunch of smart minds in a room. They are allowed to throw out any ideas they have on a particular subject. Everything is recorded and eventually one of those ideas leads to a big success.

Other times it's the worst possible process.

 

Could Your Time Be Better Spent Doing Something Else?

 

Whenever you find yourself investing time in a discussion, ask yourself a simple question. "Should I be doing something else instead?"

 

This could be a discussion with yourself. You don't have to be talking to another person. We engage in silent self-talk all the time. It can be negative, repetitive and defeating if we're not careful.

 

If you're planning on chasing down a dream, pick your battles. Don't argue with yourself or with someone else needlessly. Before you know it you've invested a lot of time, emotion and mental energy that got you nowhere. Could you have made more progress and generated more positive energy doing something else instead?

 

This can help you create some really big wins in your life. You hear stories all the time about some huge achievement that started out small. In the beginning all that was present was a big idea.

 

The owner of that idea may not have had many resources or enough money to do much more than just get started. Time was at a premium, like it is for all of us. Eventually, with a focused vision and a lot of hard work, the big idea led to a big result.

 

Big Achievement Doesn't Happen without Efficient Time Management

 

The most important asset in your life is time. This is true in your personal and business lives. We are not guaranteed any amount of time, so respect that. Pick your battles. Know when to take a stand and when moving on makes more sense.

 

People who turn big thoughts into big realities understand this. They surrender a position to someone else when they know that stringing things out wouldn't be the most productive decision. Learn this in your own life and greater productivity can lead to greater results.

 

4 Ways to Make a Decision So You Can Get to It Already

Making decisions is never easy. You need to assess your options, consider the risks, and predict a potential outcome. The more choices you have, the harder it gets. Additionally, self-doubt can affect your judgment and keep you from taking action. 

 

Even a minor decision, such as skipping a workout, can impact your life. For some reason, you can't make it to the gym today. The next day, something unexpected comes up, so you miss your workout once again. A month goes by, and you barely got any exercise. 

 

So, what's the best way to make a decision you won't regret? One that requires action and can change your life for the better? Here are four strategies you can use: 

 

Write It Down 

 

Every time you need to make a big decision put it on paper. Write down how you feel about it, assess the pros and cons, and highlight the key facts. Read everything the next day and the day after. If you still feel the same about it, go ahead and take action! 

 

Journaling is a good way to clarify your ideas and thoughts, stay organized, and learn more about yourself. Give it a try - decision making will become a lot easier! 

 

Set Clear Intentions 

 

Make sure you have a clear goal in mind. Don’t make decisions when you're feeling sad, angry, or overly excited. Think of what you want to achieve and decide accordingly. 

 

Let's say that you want to switch careers. What's the reason behind your decision? Do you dislike your current job, want a higher salary, or feel like you could do more? 

 

Quitting your job just because you're bored or stuck in a rut may not be the best decision - especially if you don't have a backup plan. Consider your reasons for taking this step - refrain from acting purely on impulse.

 

Detach Yourself from Negative Emotions 

 

Fear, self-doubt, anger, and frustration can interfere with decision making. Negative emotions affect your mood and behavior, reflecting on your actions. 

 

Acknowledge these feelings and declutter your mind. Never make a decision when you’re under stress or pressure.

 

Stop Striving for Perfection

 

When you're striving for perfection, it can be difficult to make decisions. The result might not live up to your expectations. 

 

Smart decision making isn't about finding the perfect solution. It's about getting things done. Stop aiming for perfection and start making decisions that drive results.

 

The 3-Step Process to Stop Thinking and Start Doing

You want a fulfilling career, a home of your own, and better health. Or perhaps you have smaller goals, such as learning a new language or traveling more often. However, you never find the time or the perfect opportunity to get started. 

 

The truth is that most people fail to achieve their goals not because they lack talent or have bad ideas, but because they quit. They get caught up in ruminating over what they might do and never take action. 

 

If you fall into this category, it's time to make a change. Follow these three steps to stop thinking and start doing! 

 

Set Your Priorities Straight 

 

Start by defining your priorities. What do you want to achieve the most? Set short-term and long-term goals, such as getting a promotion, acquiring new clients, or buying a home. Give yourself due dates for each of these goals. Even if you don't meet the deadline, it should be just enough to get you started. 

 

Eliminate any distractions that are wasting your time and focus on your end goal - to acquire new leads and boost your revenue. 

 

Stop Overanalyzing and Go for It 

 

Do you spend hours or days thinking and planning? Do you always focus on the worst-case scenario? Are you constantly trying to read between the lines? These signs indicate that you tend to overanalyze everything. 

 

Like it or not, your thoughts are not reality. Just because you're thinking of the worst-case scenario, it doesn't mean it will happen. Don't believe everything you feel or think. Sometimes, the best thing you can do is to go with the flow and take action. Overanalyzing situations, events, or actions rarely leads to a productive outcome. 

 

Focus on the Positive 

 

Psychologists advise us to stay positive for a good reason. A negative attitude fuels fear and anxiety, keeping you from reaching your goals. You always think of what could go wrong instead of keeping an open mind.  

 

Keeping a positive attitude is good for your health too. It boosts your motivation and inner drive, helps you stay strong when times get tough and gives you a fresh perspective on the world around you. 

 

Try meditation, positive affirmation, yoga, or whatever it takes to ward off negative thoughts. Focus on the good in your life and hope for the best. Negativity leads nowhere; it's neither productive nor helpful.

 

Understanding What's Causing Your Self-Sabotaging Behavior

The English word sabotage has French origins. In the late 18th century, French laborers demanding better working conditions would make noise by beating their wooden shoes together. They would also throw these shoes, called sabots, into machinery to stop production as a protest.

 

A saboteur was someone who made noise with sabots. It wasn't until 1897 that Emile Pouget, a famous French anarchist of the time, wrote about the "action de saboter un travail," or "the action of sabotaging or bungling work."

 

The word “sabotage” these days is linked to those early definitions of its roots by referring to a deliberate action to cause disruption, obstruction, or destruction.

 

That means that self-sabotage is us getting in our own way. We consciously or unconsciously keep ourselves from achieving a goal. This destructive behavior can affect any area of a person's life and is difficult to stop without a plan proven to keep you on your path to success.

 

Understand, Stop, and Act Differently

 

Think about times when you did something that acted against your best interests. These were times when whatever you did caused some of the following feelings.

• Anger

• Emptiness

• Frustration

• Stress

• Loneliness

• Rejection

• Humiliation

• Self-Doubt

• Pessimism

• Failure

• Guilt

• Shame

We all experience these emotions at one time or another. When you consistently find these feelings arising because of something you've done and continue to do things that create these feelings, you might be working on a set of marching orders you gave yourself as a child.

 

Self-sabotage is most often caused because of unresolved psychological and emotional issues. Psychiatrists tell us that what influences our behaviors as adults is our upbringing. You could have encountered some situations when you were a child that still subconsciously makes you react in certain ways.

 

Knowing this is good. If you know a process leading to a negative result, you can destroy the process and get a positive outcome instead. Here's what to do.

 

Understand That Negative Programming Is at Work

 

Have a conversation when you catch yourself about to do something, and it's a behavior that has caused negative feelings and problems in your life. Remind yourself that some past issues may be causing you to believe that you deserve a negative consequence.

 

That's what's at work often when we do things that sabotage our lives. 

 

Once you understand that this is a negative process at work in your life, you have the power to make a different choice. Start looking for situations where your unconscious, knee-jerk reaction or conscious decision might lead to a negative outcome. Understand that you control your choices and that there are healthier options you can consciously choose.

 

Stop

 

Once you understand a self-sabotaging process might be at work, stop. Take some time to consider all your potential choices and their possible outcomes. If you can, walk away from making the choice right away. 

 

Look at your past. If you've faced similar situations, what decisions did you make, and what were the results? Instead of acting quickly and instinctively, which is sometimes not the best thing to do, stop and take some time to back away from taking action.

 

Act Differently

 

Here's where you have to be strong. You are going to be resisting very strong impulses. The first few times you do this, it will be very uncomfortable. You have lived with certain instincts for so long and given in to them, and now you'll fight them.

 

Be proud of yourself. You've made a conscious decision to understand what's going on. You know that you could instinctively be making some bad decisions. You stopped and backed away from the process, giving yourself time to think about multiple decisions and their outcomes.

 

Now you have a chance to act differently than you used to. Remember, if you want to enjoy something different than what you had in the past, you will have to do different things than you've been doing. This is the power of acting differently from your instinctive influences that, for whatever reason, are trying to hold you down or create a negative outcome.

 

Practice Makes Perfect

 

Changing decades of behavior is not going to happen overnight. The more you go through this process, the better you will become. You'll start identifying self-sabotaging thoughts and instincts and stopping yourself before you act upon them.

 

You should understand that making decisions that will lead to a better result can feel very uncomfortable. That's okay. This is a sign that you're trying to change emotional or psychological hardwiring that's been going on for a long time. Practice makes perfect. Keep at it. The fact that you want to stop self-sabotaging behavior means you have the mental and emotional resolve to do that.

Better Body Image

Do you want to have a better body image, but you aren't sure where to start? Remember, having a better body image isn't a simple change. It's more of a journey. There are many things you can do along the way to help you improve the way you see yourself. 

 

Lower Social Media Consumption

 

Do you spend hours scrolling through photos of hot models on vacation on social media? This behavior needs to stop. This doesn't mean you have to give up all social media; it just means you need to mute people who make you feel envious. Jealousy and envy aren't healthy for your body image. Instead, you should try to follow people who inspire you to love yourself just the way you are. 

 

Create Reminders For Yourself

 

Get some sticky notes and put reminders and compliments on them for yourself. Then take the time to place them all over your house for you to find at a later time. You can even place them in your wallet and around your workspace at work—wherever you think you need a little encouragement.

 

Do Things That Make You Feel Good

 

Sitting and staring at the mirror and wishing you were someone else is never going to change anything. Instead, it would be best if you did active things which make you feel good. Take a class at your local gym, go for a walk in nature, or spend time with friends. All of these things will help you to feel more positive about yourself. 

 

Don’t Compare Yourself To Others

 

Whatever you do, comparing yourself to others needs to stop right now. You are your own unique person, and there is no one out there quite like you. No one has done the exact things you have done in the exact way. In that same manner, you will never look exactly like someone else. It's time to look in the mirror and know you are looking at someone who is uniquely you.

 

Learning to have a better body image is no easy task. And it certainly won't just take one step to get there. You will probably need to do all of the things on this list to have a better body image - and maybe more. But once you do, you'll be glad you chose to take the journey and learned to love yourself just the way you are. 

 

How to Be Happier in Your Own Skin

You can change many things about your life, but your skin is not one of them. This is why you need to learn to be happier in your own skin. The problem is, this is often much easier said than done. Below are a few ways you can learn to be happier in the body you have.

 

Develop Positive Affirmations

 

Grab a stack of sticky notes and write down all the things you love about yourself. Then place these sticky notes in places where you will find them later. These places could be on your mirror, in your wallet, or even around your desk at work. Then every time you see them, you can be reminded of what an amazing person you are.

 

Quit Scrolling Social Media

 

Social media creates unrealistic expectations of the human body. If you feel uncomfortable in your skin because of social media, it's time to stop participating. Instead, it would be best to find more body-positive media to engage in, such as books, music, and TV shows that make you feel great about who you are.

 

Work On Your Body Language

 

Believe it or not, your body language can play a huge part in feeling comfortable in your own skin. Every time you find yourself hunched over with your arms folded, how does this make you feel? Not very good, right? Exactly. It's time to walk with your shoulders pulled back, and your head held high—you'll be surprised by how much this small change affects your mood.

 

Ensure You Love The Clothes You Wear

 

If you are wearing clothes which don't make you feel comfortable in your own skin, then it's time to get clothes that do! Aim to find clothes that fit you and are flattering for your body. This will help ensure you feel great about yourself. It can help if, while you are shopping, you resolve not to look at the sizes and rather try on things that look like they will fit you and decide from there. 

 

Being happier in your own skin is a lifelong journey that almost everyone on this earth must take. But you can make this task easier on yourself by developing positive affirmations, quitting social media, working on your body language, and buying clothes that make you feel confident.  Just don't forget that being positive about yourself and your body ultimately must come from within. 

 

Importance of Being Comfortable with Your Body

You aren't comfortable with your body, so what? Everyone struggles with body image now and then. However, you must be comfortable with your body for many reasons. 

 

You Can Let Go Of Perfection

 

One of the reasons you aren't comfortable with your body is because you are obsessed with perfection. Until you realize that your body is great just the way it is, you will continue to hold onto an unrealistic idea of perfection. If you can't let go of perfection, you will constantly be striving for something unattainable, and this can lead to undue stress and more serious conditions like depression. 

 

You Will Be More Productive

 

Believe it or not, it takes a lot of time and energy to not be comfortable in your body. You probably spend hours looking in the mirror and wishing certain parts would change, or even more time searching for procedures that will "fix" you. Once you are comfortable with yourself just the way you are, you'll be able to focus on the things that matter, making you more productive in numerous aspects of your life. 

 

You Will Become More Creative

 

Constant negativity about your body (or other life aspects, for that matter) hinders your creativity. Negativity hinders your creativity because you are so focused on what is wrong, you can't open up your mind to see what you could become. Once you decide that you are truly comfortable with your body, this will help you begin a new creative journey to make what you have work for you!

 

You’ll Be Happier

 

This one is easy. Once you let go of the unattainable ideas, you will see that you are accomplishing more -and better- things in your life. These accomplishments will give you a feeling of satisfaction and achievement, which are both major components of happiness. This means that by accepting that you are amazing just the way you are, you've already unlocked the secret to happiness! 

 

Being comfortable in your own body will never be easy, but it's important that you are. When you commit to being comfortable in your body, it will help you become more productive and creative. This new level of personal comfort will make you happier in the end. When you think about it, there is no reason not to start the journey to becoming comfortable in your own body today!

 

Why It’s Important to Love Yourself

Sometimes it can be hard to love yourself. After all, humans are created with flaws. However, loving yourself is important for many reasons. You can't expect to have a fulfilling life if you can't love yourself.

 

You Are The Only One You Will Spend The Rest Of Your Life With

 

Nothing in life is promised besides the fact that you will be spending the rest of your life with yourself. If you don't learn to love yourself, this can make the rest of your life very miserable. It is essential that you learn to love yourself because you need to love the person you will spend the rest of your life with to be happy. 

 

You Need To Focus On Your Journey

 

If you are filled with self-hate or self-disdain, this is a distraction from your goals. When you choose to focus on what you don't like about yourself, it takes up much more of your time than focusing on loving yourself. Once you resolve to love yourself, this will take up much less of your time and focus, and you will be able to put your energy towards what matters—your journey of success.

 

You Can’t Sell Yourself To Others If You Don’t Love You

 

Besides just helping you on your journey towards achieving your goals and finding happiness in your life, loving yourself is important when it comes to your relationships with others. In a professional sense, if you don't love yourself, it will be impossible to sell yourself to a company in a job interview. 

 

On a personal note, not loving yourself can easily come between you and a significant other. This is because you can't truly love someone else while you hate yourself. Therefore, if you want a successful romantic relationship, you need to learn to love yourself first. 

 

Overall, loving yourself is no easy task. It can take months or even years to learn to love what an amazing human being you are. It is worth it, though, because you will realize just how important it is to love yourself once you do. Loving who you are affects every aspect of your life, from your journey to your relationships with others. And if you want to live a long and happy life, you’ll need to learn to love the person who will be with you for the entire journey, you. 

Why You Should Accept Your “Flaws”

People always tell you that you should accept your flaws, but accepting your flaws is easier said than done. There are many reasons you should work to accept your flaws that could change your life.

 

Flaws Are A Distraction

 

When you are so focused on the parts of you that aren't perfect, this will distract you from your goals in life. Then instead of pursuing your goals, you'll be too busy thinking about your flaws. So when you accept your flaws, this gives you more time to pursue your purpose in life. 

 

You’ll Feel Lighter

 

Flaws tend you weigh you down. They sit heavy on your mind and prevent you from feeling good about yourself. Once you accept yourself just as you are, flaws and all, you will feel like a weight had been lifted off your shoulders - and this is a great feeling.

 

It Will Give You Perspective

 

Flaws aren’t all bad. For example, one of your flaws could be that you always throw yourself into an assignment too completely, which takes away from your other projects. Although this isn't a good thing, there are several ways you can make this flaw work for you. First, you need to accept the flaw so that you can gain some perspective on how you can work with it. 

 

You’ll Be Mentally Healthier

 

Thinking negative thoughts all the time isn’t good for you. And if you are focusing on your flaws, these are likely negative thoughts. Constant negative thinking like this can lead to serious issues, even depression, if you leave them unchecked. Once you accept your flaws, some negative thinking will go away, which will help you have a much happier mentality.

 

You Can Embrace Others’ Flaws

 

Now that you've accepted your flaws, the cool thing is, it will be easier to embrace others' flaws. This will improve your relationships with others just by accepting your flaws. And who doesn't want to have a better relationship with your friends, family, and significant other?

 

Overall, accepting your flaws isn't going to be an easy journey, but many aspects of your life will change for the better once you accept them. You'll not only feel better, but you'll feel lighter and be able to use your flaws to your advantage. By embracing your flaws, you can then use them to help you achieve success in life.  

 

How Can I Stop Being a People Pleaser?

Have you recently come to realize that you are a people pleaser? Don't worry. This is a common revelation. But now that you've realized you are a people pleaser, it's time to stop being one for your own health and sanity. 

 

Below are some ways you can learn to stop being a people pleaser. 

 

Set Boundaries

 

The most important step to stopping your people-pleasing ways is to establish boundaries in your relationships. Of course, different relationships will have different boundaries, but they need to be there regardless. For example, if your significant other asks you to do something extra because they have a busy week ahead, this might be okay, but if your friend does this all the time, it might be time to draw the line. 

 

Take Small Steps

 

Chances are, you aren't going to stop being a people pleaser overnight. Being a people pleaser has probably been ingrained in your mind since you were young. Therefore, you should start small instead of changing everything at once. To begin with, you can set some simple boundaries that shouldn't offend anyone. For example, let someone know you aren't available during work hours. 

 

Set Goals For Yourself

 

It's important, as you stop being a people pleaser, that you have a clear direction for yourself to stop from sliding back into your people-pleasing ways. You should make goals of who you want to devote your time to and what you want to accomplish in life. It is common for people-pleasers to feel as if they need to please their parents to the point where they neglect their romantic relationships. If this sounds like you, your goal should be to devote more of your time to your significant other and less to your parents. 

 

Engage in Positive Self-Talk

 

People pleasers feel good about themselves when they do something nice for someone else, and as you leave your people-pleasing ways, you will likely be missing this positive reinforcement. This is why you need to create it for yourself. Every time you establish a boundary and keep it, tell yourself you did a good job and that you are doing something good for yourself—because it may not feel as good as people-pleasing does at first.

 

Overall, the road to leaving your people-pleasing ways isn't going to be without struggle. But if you use the above tips, you'll find that you are actually enjoying doing something for yourself rather than people-pleasing all the time. Before you know it, your people-pleasing days will be nothing but a distant memory. 

 

This Prime Minister Understood You Don't Have To Be Liked to Get the Job Done

Margaret Thatcher became Britain's Prime Minister after winning the general election in 1979. She was the first woman to lead one of the major political parties in the United Kingdom. Previous economic troubles saw her take leadership in the middle of a recession.

 

Unemployment was rising dramatically. The British people weren't happy. Nevertheless, Thatcher didn't try to appease everyone by being popular. Instead, she took dramatic steps that didn't make many people happy with her.

 

Even so, she stuck by her guns. To say that she was unpopular at the beginning of her reign as Prime Minister is an understatement. The IRA tried to assassinate her in 1984. When someone tries to kill you, that's pretty much the height of unpopularity.

 

Nevertheless, she was so successful in turning around the economy that she served three consecutive terms. She enjoyed landslide reelections twice and is one of the most popular PMs in recent memory.

 

Nevertheless, she had this lesson to teach us about needing people to like us.

 

"If you just set out to be liked, you would be prepared to compromise on anything at any time, and you would achieve nothing."

 

The best leaders are often well-liked. People respect their power and their achievements. When great leaders produce the results their followers are looking for, it's natural for them to enjoy popularity.

 

That's not to say that leaders should develop a dependence on being popular.

 

Margaret Thatcher understood this. She saw the inherent problem that can develop when approval becomes more important than delivering results.

 

You Don't Have To Be a Leader to Learn from This Lesson

 

You're probably not a politician. Very few people are. Maybe you don't long to become Prime Minister of the United Kingdom. It doesn't matter if you never throw your hat into the political arena. The lesson here is still relevant for so many of us.

 

If you want to accomplish anything, you can't worry if your actions will be popular or not. If you want to be popular, put everyone else first and worry about yourself last.

 

While helping others is an admirable character trait, you have to be careful. If you're doing it for people to like you, that's the wrong reason. Human beings can be rather fickle, which means your popularity can disappear quickly. 

 

No matter what you're trying to accomplish in your life, do it for the right reasons. It's easier to create the results you're looking for when you keep your eyes focused on the game plan rather than worrying about being popular.