Self-Discovery 101: Uncovering Your True Self

Self-discovery is certainly an exciting journey, but it's also a long one. If you want to experience a profound exploration of self-transformation as you do so, you will need to prepare yourself for thorough introspection to develop a deep sense of self-awareness. Personal growth can result in a much more fulfilling life as you uncover your authentic self. Here, we explore the keys to uncovering your true self. 

 

Curiosity 

 

You can't embark on a journey of self-discovery without first embracing curiosity. More importantly, curiosity about you and your life. Be prepared to ask and answer questions about what you're passionate about, and what brings you joy, and open yourself to the idea of exploring all of the different parts of your desires, interests, and personality. 

 

Curiosity will be the spark that ignites this journey!

 

Mindfulness 

 

Mindfulness has a lot of benefits for a lot of different pursuits because it helps you root yourself in the present, and without judgment. Mindfulness allows you to observe emotions and thoughts without attaching emotion or judgment, which helps you deepen your self-awareness. What better space to practice self-reflection?

 

Values 

 

Your values and beliefs are a big part of who you are and they should be guiding your decisions, but only if it's serving you well. A lot of people get caught up chasing other people's values. So, it's worth sitting down to consider what you value most – whether it's honesty and integrity, family and friends, or material wealth. 

 

If you know, you know, and you can use that knowledge to further your true self. Another thing many people don't realize is that your values and beliefs change – so, what you valued and believed five years ago may be different from how you feel today. That's okay! You just need to have regular check-ins with yourself. 

 

Passions

 

Mindless activities are fine, they can form a positive part of your self-care practice. But, you should also engage in activities that you're truly passionate about, activities that fill you with a sense of fulfillment. It could be a cause, a hobby, or a creative pursuit. Explore your passions because they give you valuable insights into who you truly are. Time flies when you're having fun… so, what are you doing when time flies? 

 

Confront Fear 

 

You will never discover yourself if you aren't prepared to face your fears and challenge your limiting beliefs. Identify fear and examine those beliefs that aren't serving you well. This will help you break free from the chains trapping you. 

 

Journal 

 

A journal is an excellent self-reflection tool.  It's a safe space for you to track your thoughts and feelings, and note your experiences. You can look back on it to see your growth, look for patterns of behavior, and gain deeper insight into your true self. This private space gives you permission to express yourself fully without fear of judgment. 

 

Strengths and Weaknesses 

 

You can't know your true self without first identifying your strengths and weaknesses. As difficult as it might be, this should be an objective process. It's key to self-discovery. 

 

If you're struggling with this stage of the process, you can seek feedback from people you trust, people who you believe will be honest and forthright with you about the things you're great at and the things that you're maybe not so great at. 

 

Final Thoughts 

 

Self-discovery may be a long journey, but it's worth the effort. So, spark your curiosity, practice mindfulness, prepare for reflection, explore your passions, and confront your fears if you want to uncover your true self. 

 

When you open the door on this journey, you're unlocking a deep understanding of your true self, and delving into a more authentic life. It isn't a destination, but this continuous exploration will be fulfilling. 

 

Embracing Change: Letting Go To Welcome The New

We all have something we want to let go of, whether it be a harmful habit, physical item, or toxic viewpoint that keeps us tethered to where we are. However, despite wanting to let go, the reality is that embracing change can be hard to do. 

 

Oftentimes, the struggle to let go and embrace change has to do with not having control over the future - and that can be a really powerful fear. But the reality is that while we can make choices based on the best information we have at the time, life is always going to be in a state of flux. 

 

Whether the change is good or sad, practicing the art of letting go can help you to become more flexible and adaptable. It can also help us move forward if we’re still living in the past. Here’s some helpful information that can do just that. 

 

Why Do We Struggle With Change? 

 

Before we dive into all the ways you can start letting go, let’s first analyze why we’re so resistant to change in the first place. 

 

According to Katherine Cullen MFA, LCSW, in her article titled Why Is Change So Hard? published in Psychology Today, “We often find ourselves resisting change, perhaps because of the perceived risk or fear associated with it.” 

 

In her article, she refers to examples such as a chain smoker looking to quit the habit. First, is the acknowledgment of the act. in this case, the smoker realizes that they’re going through a lot of cigarettes per day. While this isn’t enough to prompt immediate action, it gets the gears turning. 

 

The next phase is contemplation, which is when the individual considers the pros and cons of letting go. In the case of a chain smoker, this could be comparing the benefits of quitting such as renewed lung tissue and lowering the risk of developing lung cancer, as well as the cons such as not knowing another way to relieve stress and being fearful of not having any other method of self-soothing. 

 

After weighing the pros and cons, most people will then make a detailed plan - i.e. choose a day to quit smoking and buy a yoga mat for stress relief or hard candy to suck on when they have a craving. Then, they go through with it. Getting to this point of action is hard, but maintaining the lifestyle is even harder because everything is outside of the person’s comfort zone. 

 

For a chain smoker, a watermelon-flavored hard candy is hardly going to be an adequate substitute for something they enjoy. And since lifestyle changes aren’t a linear process, any setbacks could lead to self-judgment and frustration, making embracing the new change all the more difficult. 

 

This cycle is why we’re so resistant to change. We’re often fearful of what lies on the other side of change. Though change isn’t always bad, it’s the what-ifs that we focus on. While the chain smoker giving up cigarettes is just one example, another might be an adult child having difficulty discarding their deceased mother’s clothing. 

 

While they may not necessarily need them, they’re scared of getting rid of them for the risk that they will one day change their mind, or that they will somehow be disappointing their loved ones. Fears like this lead to prolonged (and unnecessary) suffering. 

 

Parents with grown children may also suffer through the struggle to let go of their child’s bedroom or childhood effects, which can make it hard to embrace their child’s adulthood and the new dynamic shared between them. 

 

At the end of the day, the fear of letting go and embracing change often comes down to not knowing what to expect and the risk of having regrets about the decision to change later on, especially if it doesn’t pan out the way we want. 

 

Tips for Letting Go and Embracing Change

 

Letting go can be hard as is, let alone when we’re also forced to embrace the unwanted change that comes with it. 

 

As in the example above, letting go of a loved one’s clothes or personal items has nothing to do with the love of the tangible items, but rather the fear that they’re going to forget their loved ones if they don’t have a physical memory attached to them. 

 

Regardless of what you’re struggling to let go of, here are some tips that can help you welcome change, even if it’s going to be a little difficult. 

 

Declutter

 

Like the example mentioned earlier, holding onto items for the fear that you’ll regret getting rid of them isn’t a good enough reason to keep them around. Clutter can lead to stress, anxiety, and in many cases, depression. 

 

Holding onto items that no longer serve you, even if they’re simply no longer your style, can keep you in the past and chain you there. If you’re interested in letting go, start small. Grab a trash bag and find 10 items you can throw away, like receipts, chipped mugs, or socks that have holes in them. With enough practice, you can work your way up from items that are damaged to those that have a mental chokehold on you. 

 

This is especially true if you’re holding onto clutter for sentimental reasons. While it’s okay to keep a few things, dedicating your home to people or lifestyles from the past can keep you tethered to a painful time in your life. Learning to let go can help you accept what happened and embrace your new life moving forward. 

 

Don’t Dismiss Your Fears

 

One way you can embrace change is by acknowledging that you don’t want to let certain things go, whether it’s a tangible item or not. 

 

The more you try to dismiss your feelings, and by proxy, your fears, the more likely they are to stay with you and affect your decisions. If you want to truly embrace change, then acknowledge that getting rid of your mother’s items, or your child’s baby clothes (for example) is hard. 

 

Then, go ahead and acknowledge your fears about getting rid of them. For example, getting rid of baby clothes could signify that the time of your life is over, and you’re scared of what comes next. 

 

Oftentimes, the difficulty of letting go is because we’re fearful of feeling sad, being alone, moving on, or feeling vulnerable. However, these are feelings shared among society. When you bring these fears to the surface, they not only no longer seem so scary, but you can now identify solutions. 

 

With the right support system, you can embrace your fears and still let go, knowing that it’s going to suck…and that’s okay. 

 

Listen to Your Inner Voice

 

At the end of the day, you’ll know when it’s time to get rid of something, or someone, or move on. These feelings are usually subtle; one day you just don’t feel the same way about it anymore. However, when you have that inkling, take notice. 

 

Your inner voice doubles as your voice of reason. Though you may be quick to ignore it or do the opposite, trust that when that little voice pops up telling you it’s time to let go, it’s because deep down, it’s what you know is best for you. 

 

Letting go and embracing change is all about the fear of not knowing what lies around the corner. You can make this change easier by trusting your gut and realizing that yes, change can be scary, but so can staying miserable where you are. 

 

4 Ways Taking Risks Can Help Us

Taking a risk in life can be scary, and often your friends and family will warn you against it. However, did you know that taking some risks is in your best interest? 

 

Below are four ways that taking risks can help you. 

 

1. You’ll Learn How to Fail

 

Many people are scared to take risks because they are afraid to fail. However, the possibility of failure is actually a reason you should take risks. Anyone who has ever told you that they've never failed has likely never succeeded either. Failure is an absolutely critical part of success. How can you know how to succeed unless you've learned a few ways not to succeed? It also helps you build character and shape you into a better, more well-prepared person. So take a risk, and even if you fail, at least you will learn something important.

 

2. You’ll Gain Confidence

 

When you succeed after taking a risk, you will gain confidence. This confidence will help move you forward in life to bigger, and often better, things. Without confidence, you will likely stay in the same rut you may be in right now. 

 

3. You’ll Conquer Your Fears

 

Another reason people tend not to take risks is that they are afraid. Whether that is fear of failure, or something else, you can't expect to conquer these fears without taking a risk or two! 

 

Sometimes people are afraid of finding out who they really are because taking risks will reveal this. This is a critical aspect necessary for personal growth. So no matter what risk it is in your life that you are facing, it's time to go for it and see what happens so you can conquer your fears and find out who you are. 

 

4. You Will Be Successful

 

The number one way that taking risks helps is to lead you on the path to success. No one in this world has become successful just by sitting around their bedroom waiting for something to happen. Risks and success go hand in hand. Even if you aren't successful on the first try, remember to stick with it because eventually, you will achieve the success you desire. 

 

Overall, it is scary to take risks, but this is exactly why you should do so! Once you start taking risks, you will learn how to fail, face your fears, gain confidence, and it will eventually lead you to success! 

 

What Stops You from Getting Motivated?

Innovation, creativity, and satisfaction are all dependent on motivation. Motivation drives us to take action, and when we take action, we generate movement, development, and change. We feel needed, competent, and relevant; we feel empowered by seeing how we can make a difference in the world and produce more of what we like in our lives. All of this brings meaning and enjoyment to our lives. 

 

According to VeryWellMind, "When you’re struggling with motivation, you’ll likely come up with a long list of reasons why you shouldn’t take any action. You might think, “It’ll be too hard,” or, “I’ll never get it done anyway.” These types of thoughts will keep you stuck."

 

Most of us have a single definition of lack of motivation, which means you're likely to believe you're dealing with the same issue anytime you're unmotivated. The reality is that lack of motivation is a broad group of subjects with several variants. 

 

Lack of motivation is defined as a lack of commitment to act, and there are a variety of reasons why you could be in that situation:

 

Fear

 

Even if you're approaching terrain you've decided to walk into, a part of you is driven to resist moving ahead when you're scared. Fear slows you down and makes you reluctant and cautious, which may be good, but your concerns are sometimes based on your thoughts rather than a realistic evaluation of the hazards in your environment.

 

Stress And Frustration

 

Have you ever felt so frustrated, overworked, or under stress that you'd instead give up than keep going with whatever you're trying to accomplish? Whatever the source, one thing we all know about being overwhelmed (or too worried) is that it saps motivation.

 

You Have No Idea What You Want

 

This primary cause is by far the most prevalent of all the reasons why you could be weak in motivation: Either you don't have any idea you want, or you don't understand what you want. If you don't feel motivated in any aspect of your life, it's probably because you haven't chosen exactly what you want. We can't concentrate on anything if we don't know what we're trying to achieve.

 

Lack Of Self-Determination

 

We thrive on independence. Our brains all contain a decision-making center, and this part of us has to be used. According to studies, persons with depression have a deficiency in this decision-making area in the brain. If you practice utilizing this portion of the brain and making decisions, your depression will usually disappear, and you'd be more motivated.

 

Misery

 

We go through a period of wondering if we should or could keep things the way they were and lamenting what we'll lose if we make substantial changes at the start of any shift. 

Confusion, self-doubt, suspicion of the world around us, and a sense of being lost are all frequent symptoms, and the larger the change, the stronger these symptoms become, and the easier we lose our motivation.

 

5 Reasons People Are Afraid To Take Risks

Most aspects of life hinge on our ability to take calculated risks. The growth and prosperity of entire countries, governments, and even civilizations depend on it.

 

Universities encourage students to devise innovative ways to solve problems and think outside the box. They’re taught that those who take risks are the ones who ultimately reap the highest of rewards.

 

However, our minds typically associate risks with the fear of failure and uncertainty. We grow weary of being judged and criticized, which affects our ego and deflates our self-esteem.

 

If this is the case, then why are people still taking risks?

 

For several reasons, but the most important is that taking risks is a positive learning experience. Think of it like this: if you take a risk and fail, you’ll learn something. And if you don’t fail, you’ll have achieved what you set out to do.

 

Yet, it becomes much more challenging to put these ideas into action because we tend to fear the unknown that comes with risk-taking.

 

If this sounds familiar, you’ve come to the right place. In this post, we rounded up five reasons why people fear taking risks that they should be taking to help them grow and prosper:

 

Fear

 

Fear is the top reason why we dislike taking risks. After all, no one wants to throw their comfort zone into disarray on purpose.

 

So, why are there people who still manage to do it with such panache? Are they more fearless and courageous than everyone else?

 

Unlikely. They do, however, have purpose.

 

In other words, those who take risks are just as afraid and anxious as everyone else. The difference is that they have the skill set that allows them to rise above their fears. They take a leap of faith and hope that everything will work out in the end.

 

Uncertainty

 

Why does the idea of change often evoke troubling images and difficult times?

Because we don’t like it when we’re not in control. And with change, we don’t know what’s coming or how we should respond.

 

For many, having to diminish their willpower and release their control is downright petrifying!

 

However, life as a whole is a series of risks that we take on a regular basis. They’re essential to living a happy, successful life and achieving your short- and long-term goals.

 

Judgment

 

Even though taking risks comes with many advantages, it also has a few downsides. One is that you could be exposed to rejection and harsh criticism.

 

So, rather than risk losing confidence in our decision-making ability. As a result, it can cause us to have a poor self-image and could even lose the respect of our peers.

 

The most effective way to counterbalance this is to start small. This will allow you to gradually build your confidence and learn new skills at your own pace. Also, taking small risks can help reduce your anxiety and fear of rejection.

 

Regret

 

Sometimes it feels that taking risks comes at a too-steep price. If we’re not equipped with the right tools to deal with these potential outcomes, we feel anxious and fearful. A common example of this is regret.

 

We know all too well how remorse, shame, and guilt feel like. That’s why we try to stay away from these intense feelings as much as we can. So, rather than make a decision that we later regret, we choose to do nothing instead.

 

Unfortunately, doing nothing reduces the chance of achieving great things and reaching high levels of success.

 

Failure

 

Unfortunately, our teaching and upbringing go against the idea that failure can be a ‘blessing in disguise.’ It makes us stronger, more resilient, and less fearful.

 

Growing up, we’re taught to believe that we need to make as few mistakes as possible. We’re told that this will help us get good grades, which will set us on the path to a successful and lucrative career.

 

However, this system is counterintuitive to living a fulfilling, well-balanced lifestyle. After all, a huge part of this fulfillment and balance is achieved after experiencing one or two failures. And since failure is always a possibility when it comes to taking risks, then we should learn to see it as a good thing rather than a deterrent.

 

5 Examples Of Social Anxiety

Social anxiety disorder, also known as social phobia, affects around 6.8 million adults in the U.S. Still, many people struggle with this condition. They are not officially diagnosed by a mental health care provider, according to the National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH). 

 

NIMH states that this anxiety disorder can be mild to moderate and sometimes only lasts several hours. It can be long-lasting, preventing you from participating in everyday activities and relationships with others.

 

SAD can be defined as excessive worry and nervousness about social situations and interactions with other people that impact an individual’s ability to function. 

 

Although this condition may seem common, many people don’t understand what it means to have social anxiety or how it manifests itself in day-to-day life. Here are five examples of social anxiety and how you can learn from them to shed light on this topic.

 

1. Speaking in public

 

Public speaking is a common fear, and it's not surprising that it causes social anxiety. Many people fear public speaking because they don't want to be judged and scrutinized by an audience. 

 

These feelings often lead to physical symptoms like increased heart rate and sweaty palms. Speaking in front of a small group or an individual may seem less daunting than presenting in front of hundreds of people. It's important for those with this fear to realize that most audiences have members who feel anxious before making their presentations.

 

2. Going out with friends

 

Going out with friends is an event that can trigger social anxiety. However, this experience doesn't have to be a terrible one. With the right mindset, you can make it a positive experience. Below are a few ways to help manage this anxiety: 

 

• Make your expectations realistic. 

• Plan and know what to expect. 

• Practice what you'll say beforehand to feel more confident when meeting new people.

• Bring a friend or someone you know who's been there before to help introduce you. 

• Arrive early so you don't feel rushed.

 

3. Talking on the phone

 

Phone conversations are one of the most common triggers for people with social anxiety. Feeling anxious about talking on the phone typically stems from a fear that the person on the other end will be judging you. 

 

It's important to remember that this is not always the case and that they may have a similar experience or understanding of what you are going through.

 

Think about why it might bother you to talk on the phone: 

 

• What does it mean if someone calls? 

• What are you afraid might happen when someone calls? 

• Why do those thoughts make you feel uneasy? 

• How does it make your body feel when these thoughts come up? 

• What would need to happen for those thoughts to stop bothering you?

 

4. Meeting new people

 

When meeting new people, it is important to be able to start a conversation confidently.

 

If you are too anxious to do so, try one of these techniques:

 

• Ask the person their name and tell them yours. 

• Compliment the person on their appearance or wearing something. 

• Tell them how much you enjoy their work.

• Bring up an interest in common that you share with the person, such as sports or music.

• The next time you see this person, remember what you talked about so you can pick up where your last conversation left off.

 

5. Ordering food at restaurants

 

If ordering food at a restaurant, you may feel intimidated and scared. Why? You're not sure what to say or how to act. You want the person taking your order to like you, and you're terrified they won't. 

 

You worry that the way your voice sounds is unattractive, that you don't sound smart enough, or that they'll think your voice is annoying. The anxiety that occurs when eating in public: Eating in public can be stressful for someone with social anxiety. It's hard to eat while ensuring no one looks, talks too much, or is too quiet.

 

Final thoughts

 

Social anxiety can make a person feel self-conscious, embarrassed, and even experience panic. It is important to remember that social anxiety is a common condition that many people experience at one time or another. 

 

While it is not easy to deal with, there are ways to overcome social anxiety and improve your quality of life. Remembering these five examples of social anxiety may help you deal with it better in the future.

Are Your Fears Holding You Back?

Fear is an emotion that can hold you back from reaching your goals and levels of success in your career – or even in school. Taking risks is part of everyday life but can be hindered if you are fearful of the unknown. How often do you say no to something just because you are fearful of what you think could happen?

 

Five Types of Fear

 

The top five fears that may be holding you back could include the following:

 

• Feeling inadequate – Do you fear you are not good enough or lack the skills to pursue your dreams? You can overcome this fear by knowing and understanding your importance in a particular area of your life. 

• The unknown – Do you have the common fear of the unknown? You can overcome this fear by having a vision for yourself and your future. 

• FOMO – Fear of Missing Out is when you wish you were doing what others are doing because it looks better than what you’re doing. This type of fear is a distraction that can keep you from forming real relationships. 

• Change – Fear of change can steal your joy and peace. To overcome this fear, take time to enjoy the moment you are in. Doing this can help you appreciate your life and relationships in a deeper manner. 

• Being judged – No one wants to be judged by others and being vulnerable opens you up for the possibility of being judged. Adam Kirk Smith, Author of “The Bravest You” says “embrace your personal story” to overcome this fear. 

 

Fear can be crippling and can hold you back from your true potential. Though you may never live a completely fear-free life, there are ways you can overcome the fears in your life. 

 

It’s important to be open and honest with your fears too. You could even journal those fears so you can write down the ways to overcome them. The majority of fear comes from the unknown or even the thought of taking a risk. No one wants to be judged so it comes naturally to stay away from these types of situations. Lack of self-esteem or self-confidence can be an underlying cause of such fears. 

 

Overcome Your Fears

 

Begin by establishing a purpose for taking a risk; doing so this can remove that fear. Knowing your purpose will help you overcome many fears in your life. Purpose and meaning in life can help you move past your fears and guide you along your life’s journey.

 

Consider using positive affirmations when you are faced with a fear. Knowing where you are and what you want can help move you from a state of fear to a position of success. 

 

Finally, understand that not all fear is negative. Some fear can save your life and help you through a life-or-death situation. According to PsychologyToday.com “Real fear can save our lives, embrace it. Manufactured fear divides us, let it go. And, be sure to give fear the attention it needs so you can distinguish between the two.”

Signs You Might Be Experiencing Impostor Syndrome

Impostor syndrome is defined as, “anxiety or self-doubt that results from persistently undervaluing one’s competence and active role in achieving success, while falsely attributing one’s accomplishments to luck or other external forces.” Now that you know what impostor syndrome is, how do you know if you are living with it?

 

Five Signs You Have Impostor Syndrome

 

Here are five common signs that you are living with impostor syndrome.

 

• You cannot assess your skills and abilities realistically because you are giving yourself unrealistic goals to accomplish. 

• You connect your success to the outcome, giving no thought to the amount of work you put forth.

• You put down your own efforts and accomplishments by shrugging them off as if they were “not that good”. 

• You live in constant fear of failing to meet your own expectations, but fail to acknowledge the goals you’ve reached. 

• You engage in activities that self-sabotage potential success by choosing to deliberately procrastinate. 

 

Many people with impostor syndrome look for ways to protect their ego and self-esteem when faced with tough situations. There are negative side effects to living with impostor syndrome, such as hindering your chance of success by choosing to create a barrier. Some individuals use their limiting beliefs, or feelings of impostor syndrome, for motivation.

 

External Proof versus Internal Thoughts

 

Impostor syndrome keeps you from internally accepting or believing your abilities or successes. The more you accomplish and succeed, the stronger the negative thoughts can become. 

 

Do you struggle with thoughts or feelings of being a fraud in your career or at school? Have you reached a goal yet you don’t feel you did it well enough? These are examples of how individuals with impostor syndrome feel. Even though you accomplished the goal you set out to do, you can’t seem to internally believe it was good enough. 

 

Internal feelings can increase the anxiety and could lead to intense feelings of being a fraud. This creates a vicious cycle and it may require the help of a psychologist or therapist to overcome this phenomenon. If the impostor syndrome is not correctly handled, it can lead to feelings of isolation or even feelings of dread. 

 

Impostor syndrome is often passed down to a person from their family, unknowingly. It may not be evident until later in their teens or adulthood. Another potential cause may be from entering a new career field where you internally compare your skills to those who have been at the job longer than yourself. There could also be a number of external factors that could cause a person to be inflicted with impostor syndrome. 

 

Once you realize you have impostor syndrome, you can take steps to overcome it. Some of these steps include sharing your feelings and fears with trusted individuals. Ask yourself if your thoughts are honest and rational. Assess whether you are comparing yourself to others without even realizing it. Keep in mind that successful people struggle with impostor syndrome and often relate their success to luck instead of hard work. Let your guard down and let others see you for who you really are.