Showing posts with label Fear. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Fear. Show all posts

Sunday, 4 September 2022

Are Your Fears Holding You Back?


Fear is an emotion that can hold you back from reaching your goals and levels of success in your career – or even in school. Taking risks is part of everyday life but can be hindered if you are fearful of the unknown. How often do you say no to something just because you are fearful of what you think could happen?

 

Five Types of Fear

 

The top five fears that may be holding you back could include the following:

 

  • Feeling inadequate – Do you fear you are not good enough or lack the skills to pursue your dreams? You can overcome this fear by knowing and understanding your importance in a particular area of your life. 
  • The unknown – Do you have the common fear of the unknown? You can overcome this fear by having a vision for yourself and your future. 
  • FOMO – Fear of Missing Out is when you wish you were doing what others are doing because it looks better than what you’re doing. This type of fear is a distraction that can keep you from forming real relationships. 
  • Change – Fear of change can steal your joy and peace. To overcome this fear, take time to enjoy the moment you are in. Doing this can help you appreciate your life and relationships in a deeper manner. 
  • Being judged – No one wants to be judged by others and being vulnerable opens you up for the possibility of being judged. Adam Kirk Smith, Author of “The Bravest You” says “embrace your personal story” to overcome this fear. 

 

Fear can be crippling and can hold you back from your true potential. Though you may never live a completely fear-free life, there are ways you can overcome the fears in your life. 

 

It’s important to be open and honest with your fears too. You could even journal those fears so you can write down the ways to overcome them. The majority of fear comes from the unknown or even the thought of taking a risk. No one wants to be judged so it comes naturally to stay away from these types of situations. Lack of self-esteem or self-confidence can be an underlying cause of such fears. 

 

Overcome Your Fears

 

Begin by establishing a purpose for taking a risk; doing so this can remove that fear. Knowing your purpose will help you overcome many fears in your life. Purpose and meaning in life can help you move past your fears and guide you along your life’s journey.

 

Consider using positive affirmations when you are faced with a fear. Knowing where you are and what you want can help move you from a state of fear to a position of success. 

 

Finally, understand that not all fear is negative. Some fear can save your life and help you through a life-or-death situation. According to PsychologyToday.com “Real fear can save our lives, embrace it. Manufactured fear divides us, let it go. And, be sure to give fear the attention it needs so you can distinguish between the two.”



Signs You Might Be Experiencing Impostor Syndrome


Impostor syndrome is defined as, “anxiety or self-doubt that results from persistently undervaluing one’s competence and active role in achieving success, while falsely attributing one’s accomplishments to luck or other external forces.” Now that you know what impostor syndrome is, how do you know if you are living with it?

 

Five Signs You Have Impostor Syndrome

 

Here are five common signs that you are living with impostor syndrome.

 

  • You cannot assess your skills and abilities realistically because you are giving yourself unrealistic goals to accomplish. 
  • You connect your success to the outcome, giving no thought to the amount of work you put forth.
  • You put down your own efforts and accomplishments by shrugging them off as if they were “not that good”. 
  • You live in constant fear of failing to meet your own expectations, but fail to acknowledge the goals you’ve reached. 
  • You engage in activities that self-sabotage potential success by choosing to deliberately procrastinate. 

 

Many people with impostor syndrome look for ways to protect their ego and self-esteem when faced with tough situations. There are negative side effects to living with impostor syndrome, such as hindering your chance of success by choosing to create a barrier. Some individuals use their limiting beliefs, or feelings of impostor syndrome, for motivation.

 

External Proof versus Internal Thoughts

 

Impostor syndrome keeps you from internally accepting or believing your abilities or successes. The more you accomplish and succeed, the stronger the negative thoughts can become. 

 

Do you struggle with thoughts or feelings of being a fraud in your career or at school? Have you reached a goal yet you don’t feel you did it well enough? These are examples of how individuals with impostor syndrome feel. Even though you accomplished the goal you set out to do, you can’t seem to internally believe it was good enough. 

 

Internal feelings can increase the anxiety and could lead to intense feelings of being a fraud. This creates a vicious cycle and it may require the help of a psychologist or therapist to overcome this phenomenon. If the impostor syndrome is not correctly handled, it can lead to feelings of isolation or even feelings of dread. 

 

Impostor syndrome is often passed down to a person from their family, unknowingly. It may not be evident until later in their teens or adulthood. Another potential cause may be from entering a new career field where you internally compare your skills to those who have been at the job longer than yourself. There could also be a number of external factors that could cause a person to be inflicted with impostor syndrome. 

 

Once you realize you have impostor syndrome, you can take steps to overcome it. Some of these steps include sharing your feelings and fears with trusted individuals. Ask yourself if your thoughts are honest and rational. Assess whether you are comparing yourself to others without even realizing it. Keep in mind that successful people struggle with impostor syndrome and often relate their success to luck instead of hard work. Let your guard down and let others see you for who you really are. 

 


Success Is Not Luck, It’s You!


Do you have feelings or worries that your co-workers or friends will think you're a fraud? Do you often feel like you don’t belong? These are feelings of impostor syndrome and an estimated 70% of successful people experience this in their lives. 

 

Impostor syndrome can cause you to feel that you only accomplished your goals due to luck. Maybe you think you aren’t as good as your boss thinks you are and you worry that you’ll be found out. 

 

Research shows us that both men and women battle impostor syndrome and are unable to acknowledge and own their successes. 

 

Five Patterns of Impostor Syndrome

 

According to the impostor expert Valerie Young and author of “The Secret Thoughts of Successful Women”, there are five patterns that can be found in those who suffer from this phenomenon.


  • You set unrealistic goals for yourself and are often considered a perfectionist. 
  • You are afraid to speak up or answer questions due to fear of not knowing the answer.
  • You are afraid to ask for help because you think you’ll look like a failure to others.
  • You feel like a fraud if the answer doesn’t come naturally.
  • You push yourself hard than your peers in order to prove yourself. 

 

Individuals that live with impostor syndrome think that things happen to them due to luck rather than their own hard work or abilities. This then leads to a cycle of negative thinking that can hold them back from moving up the corporate ladder. They may even end up working harder than necessary, which could lead to increased feelings of failure or burnout.

 

Change Your Mindset, Change Your Life

 

If you are living with impostor syndrome you may struggle with accepting your own success. Perhaps you feel that you don’t deserve your corporate position or an award of accomplishment. If you can relate to this, then there are some suggestions on how you can fix your inner impostor. 

 

  • Change your mindset to accept your shortcomings instead of seeking a perfect outcome with every project or goal. 
  • Embrace your imperfections and learn to accept yourself the way you are. Remind yourself that you did your best. 
  • Keep a list of realistic goals. If you have a list of goals already then look through them with honesty.
  • Believe the effort you’ve put forth regardless of the outcome. You may have worked hard towards a goal just to fall short of the desired outcome. This is an opportunity to accept the outcome and still be proud of the work you put into it. 
  • Create a focused goal instead of trying to divide your attention energy between unrelated topics. Be okay with having someone else work on a particular area of a task so you are free to focus on what you enjoy.

 

Impostor syndrome can cause the strongest and most successful individuals to feel like they are not good enough. This syndrome has a negative effect on all areas of your life. So take time to assess where you are and what you can do to move forward in your life. 



What Is Impostor Syndrome?


Impostor syndrome is best described as the fear of being considered a fraud or doubting one's accomplishments. Even those who have reached a level of success in their chosen field are often full of anxiety and crippling thoughts of being considered a fraud. According to the Journal of Behavioral Science, it is estimated that 70% of people in the U.S. experience impostor syndrome. 

 

Impostor syndrome (IS) is an internal feeling that you believe you are not as qualified as other may think you are. This is often connected to thoughts of perfectionism and can be applied to your intelligence or achievement. If you have feelings of being a fraud or that you did not deserve that raise, then you could be dealing with impostor syndrome. 

 

Four Characteristics of Impostor Syndrome

 

Those who suffer with impostor syndrome doubt their own skills and accomplishments despite the evidence of the success. Below are four common indicators you may be dealing with impostor syndrome.

 

  • Deep-seated feelings of fear that you aren’t able to meet expectations.
  • Undermining your achievements even when you worked diligently towards that goal.
  • Setting unrealistic goals and then feeling disappointed if you do not meet those goals.
  • Doubting yourself no matter what you’re working on or working towards.

 

If you recognize any of the above, there some things you can do to move past these feelings. Begin by confronting your feelings and any beliefs you hold about yourself. If you struggle with any of this, consider speaking with a professional or close friend. Confiding in someone can help you gain clarity on your feelings and beliefs. 

 

Impostor syndrome can be ingrained in you as a child and continue well into adulthood. Struggling with feelings of being a fraud can happen to anyone but is seen mostly in successful women. According to research done with Psycnet.apa.org, “despite their outstanding academic and professional accomplishments, women who experience the impostor phenomenon persist in believing that they are really not bright and have fooled anyone who thinks otherwise.”

 

Do You Have Impostor Syndrome?

 

So, how do you know if you suffer from impostor syndrome? One way to know if you are dealing with it is to take a free online test. Simply answer the questions that you can find through a quick online search, or try the free test on at Psycom.net.  

 

You can remove impostor syndrome by first recognizing it in your life and seeing how it is affecting you. Progressively work towards breaking those limiting beliefs by thinking of the quality of work you are performing versus the quantity. 

 

If someone pays you a compliment, remind yourself that it is a fact and that you deserve it. Begin to recognize your own successes and take time to celebrate the wins in your life. Eventually your inner voice will support your new positive thoughts so you can overcome the feelings of impostor syndrome.



Your Childhood May Have Contributed to Impostor Syndrome


Do you have repeated thoughts you haven’t rightfully gained your job or an award? Do you fear being outed or exposed for not being as talented or enough in your career?

 

Impostor syndrome is a habitual thought pattern, according to PsychCentral, and may stem from your family background. Impostor syndrome can bring on feelings of chronic self-doubt and even a lack of celebration of their achievements. 

 

Imposter syndrome can limit your belief in your abilities, talents, and even accomplishments. This can then lead to increased anxiety and low self-esteem. Many adults live with limiting beliefs because of their family upbringing and often do not know that this is even an issue until later in life. 

 

Where Does Impostor Syndrome Come From?

 

Impostor syndrome can come from receiving praise or acknowledgment for something that you didn’t deserve, and this can directly influence your thoughts into causing feelings of being a phony. There may be a variety of reasons why you battle thoughts of feeling like a fraud or have the feeling of being an impostor in your life. 

 

Impostor syndrome can hinder your self-esteem and even keep you from trying new activities in life. If you frequently battle feelings where you don’t deserve recognition for a job well done, then you could be living with it. It is reported that many individuals are known to have this syndrome without realizing it. 

 

Five Reasons You May Battle Impostor Syndrome

 

There are five common reasons why you may be battling impostor syndrome, such as:

 

  • You may have received praise or recognition for something that you did not deserve, such as a blue ribbon for a project when you know you did not do your best.
  • You may have been praised for being good in a skill that you actually were not good at just so you would not be left out. 
  • You may have never received any type of positive reinforcement for a job well done even though you worked to your best ability.
  • You may not feel deserving of something of value because you were told you were not good enough or should have done better regardless of how much effort you put forth.
  • Did your family assign you a label such as “the sporty one” or “the smart one” without recognizing other areas you excelled at?

 

These labels or ingrained life lessons could cause you to grow into an adult that suffers from impostor syndrome. 

 

Once you can relate to one or more of these life experiences, you can change your own life. For example, if they labeled you the “smart one” of your family, then you could begin by recognizing a job well done in another area of your life. Perhaps trying out for a sports team or taking part in a community event can be the beginning of self-recognition and the shedding of your impostor syndrome feelings. 

 

Take time to recognize your own achievements, as this can build your self-esteem and help you shed that label.



Sunday, 10 July 2022

Fears That Hold You Back From Finishing What You Start


Do you constantly find yourself starting a project you have every intention of finishing, and then you simply don't finish it? 

 

This failure to finish could simply be you harboring several fears that are holding you back from finishing what you start.

 

Fear Of Failure

 

The fear of failure is one of the most common fears people deal with. Almost everyone will experience it at some point in their life. This fear with undoubtedly hold you back from finishing what you start. 

 

This fear will hold you back from doing what needs to be done to conquer things that may be difficult or out of your comfort zone. The fear of failure often leads to procrastination. So, to conquer your procrastination habit, it's time first to learn to face your fear of failure. 

 

Fear Of Losing Something

 

Although this fear isn't as common as a fear of failure, one of the reasons you may be putting something off is because of your fear of losing something. Whenever you complete a project, you will be putting yourself through changes. 

 

This change can be scary and may cause you to fear losing something you currently have in your life. It would be best if you overcome this fear. Change is good and realizing this is important. Even if you do lose some things along the way, you are working towards something bigger and better. 

 

Fear That Others Will Judge You

 

Another common fear is that your peers will judge you. And this one, unfortunately, could be true. If you have goals, dreams, and aspirations that might seem odd to other people, you may put them off or give up on them forever. 

 

You might have a nice starter train set in your closet but never act on your plan to set it up because you are worried it isn't "cool" enough. Is that any way to live your life? 

 

Part of life is accepting that you are okay if people judge you and your actions. You know who you are and what you are doing, so don't let others' perceptions of you change your behavior. 

 

Overall, if you are struggling to finish something you've already started, it's probably because of one of these internal fears. The best way to work towards finishing what you start is by learning to conquer these three fears so that you can go on to be successful in all of your endeavors. 



Sunday, 12 June 2022

6 Tips To Make Fear Your Friend


What makes you afraid? Is it losing someone you love? Or is it having to see your dentist? Maybe you fear thunderstorms or heights or elevators.

 

Whatever it is, fear is normal. It’s how our body warns us of dangerous situations and that we should be careful.

 

Yet, sometimes, our fears can become so great that they hold us back from living up to our full potential. They fill us with dread and uncertainty that we soon become constantly stressed and anxious over the smallest things.

 

Although surprisingly, fear, in its positive form, can actually be good for us. It can inspire innovative ideas and motivate us to reach new heights.

 

So, we’re here today to help you make fear your friend. Follow the six tips below, and you’ll know how to turn what was once your foe into an ally.

 

Let’s get started.

 

Identify the Source

 

This is probably the hardest step, but it’s absolutely worth it. But first, you need to come to terms with the source of your fear in order to overcome it.

 

Being aware of the root cause will be difficult in the beginning, but it’ll make you stronger. You’ll no longer live in the shadow of that big, insurmountable fear.

 

Embrace It

 

You’ve come face-to-face with your fear. Now, it’s time to embrace it.

 

But before you do that, you have to actually admit that such-and-such scares you. There are several ways to do this. First, you can either say it aloud, preferably to someone else in a natural setting.

 

You can also write it down in a journal or diary. The point is to get it out of your head and into real life. That’s when your fear loses its control over you.

 

It also feels better to get it off your chest and share it with the world. You’ll be surprised to know just how many people are just as afraid as you are.

 

Think Rationally

 

Fear makes us panic, and panic makes us do stupid things. In fact, studies show that when we panic, our prefrontal cortex shuts down. This is the region of our brain responsible for rational thinking.

 

So, case in point, learn how to think rationally despite your worries and panic. Make fear your friend, and you’ll be able to go a lot farther in life.

 

Take Stock

 

People deal with fear, stress, and anxiety in different ways. Some people like to be challenged and are great under pressure. Others find it better to work at their own pace without any tight deadlines looming overhead.

 

Whichever way you prefer, the important thing is not to let fear get the better of you. For example, say you’re afraid to speak in public. But then a colleague suddenly got sick and asked you to take over the presentation you’ve been preparing for weeks.

 

In this scenario, you have to pick whether you’ll let your fear overpower you or whether you’ll rise to the challenge.

 

The latter won’t be easy, but it’ll definitely be worth it in the long run. Be objective and tell yourself that others have held presentations before and have lived to tell about it. So, what’s the big deal?

 

Remember, your mind tends to blow things out of proportion. So, find a way to deal with the stress and take stock. It’s the only way you’ll be able to harness your fear and get the job done.

 

Find Support

 

No one ever failed by having a strong support system. Surround yourself with people who encourage you to do better. These are the people who listen to you when you’re venting about your fears and anxiety, and they still choose to love you unconditionally.

 

A lot of research has been carried out on the benefits of having a support system. It empowers you with good coping skills while boosting your self-esteem and overall well-being.

 

Moreover, a sound support system can lower stress, anxiety, and depression rates. 

 

Be Positive

 

Whenever you’re afraid, you’ll tend to focus on negative thoughts and emotions. But then, they fester in your mind and transform into this big, ugly thing that you can no longer control.

 

Why not try some positivity for a change? Remember, the mind is quite powerful; it just needs a small push in the right direction.

 

By thinking positively, you can overcome your fears and actually live to tell the tale! All you have to do is believe it, and everything else will fall into place.

 


3 Ways Understanding Brain Science Builds an Inner Calm


What if someone told you that you could control your brain? Well, the good news is you can. All you need is some practice and a little bit of knowledge. Brain science isn’t rocket science (see what we did there?). It’s a skill that can be learned with time, practice, and patience. Ready to learn how to be calm under pressure? Let’s go! 

 

1. Understand “Fight or Flight”

 

You can thank your elementary school teachers for beating this one into your head. If you need a little recap, “fight or flight” describes how the body reacts in stressful situations. To put it simply, you either decide to flee the scene (flight) or take action (fight). On a fundamental level, this explains why you react a certain way in order to survive. However, “fight or flight” is irrelevant in a lot of scenarios in our modern world. Yet, our brain senses danger when we experience things outside of what is “normal.” If you feel your body tensing up, for example, that’s a byproduct of “fight or flight.” The next time you think you’re experiencing this, ask yourself, “Is this really life or death? Or should I calm down and realize it will be okay?” 

 

2. Call out your Emotions 

 

Detaching from your emotions is prescribed by many meditation experts and leaders who have mastered the art of staying calm. We’re humans, so we’re inevitably going to experience the whole gamut of feelings. That being said, we can choose to observe them rather than attach to them. That means when you feel a surge of anger, call it out. Say, “That’s anger I’m experiencing because of XYZ. I know that this will pass, but I acknowledge that my feelings are valid.” Be sure to validate your feelings rather than dismiss them. Your emotions are real, and it is okay that you’re feeling them! 

 

3. Breathe

 

Sometimes, all you need to do is breathe. Connect to your breath. Count your breaths. Be grateful that you’re breathing. There are many ways to experience the delight of breathing, so take some time to figure out which approach works best for you. The important thing is that you’re doing it. As we mentioned with “fight or flight,” the body reacts to stress and adverse events. We may choke up, forget to breathe, or breathe super heavily. All of those things impact our mind, so try to instill a sense of calm in your body first. 



5 Creative Ways to Calm a Chaotic Mind


Do you ever feel like you can’t escape your mind? Maybe it’s always spinning out of control, or perhaps you have a lot of thoughts. A lot of people experience chaos in their own minds, and this can make things difficult when you’re trying to work toward your goals. The next time your mind is filled with confusion, try one of these five creative ways to alleviate the stress. 

 

1. Keep it Busy 

 

There’s a delicate balance between keeping your mind busy without overcrowding it. It’s one thing to occupy your mind so it doesn’t wander, but it’s a whole different ball game when you start stressing out about endless to-do lists and information overload. Try to write 3-5 things you want to accomplish every day — and be sure to add at least one thing that is purely for fun. This will keep your mind busy without getting you too stressed. 

 

2. Help Others 

 

When was the last time you extended a helping hand to someone who needs it? Our brains tend to calm down when we’re in “helper mode” because the focus is on others rather than our own problems or stresses. 

 

3. Pick up a Creative Hobby 

 

We all have a creative side, whether it’s deep down or you’re continually flexing your creative muscles. Picking up a creative hobby gives your brain a nice, healthy break from the usual grind. Plus, it allows you to expand your intelligence with new forms of thinking. Win-win! 

 

4. Care for your Physical Being 

 

The mind and bodywork hand in hand a lot, so if you aren’t caring for your physical being, you may notice some stress going on in your head. Take time to care for your body — work out more, take a walk, draw a bath, or snooze your alarm clock. There are lots of ways to reenergize your body so that you can take on more in your mind! 

 

5. Connect with Others 

 

Helping others and connecting with other people are two totally different things, but both are essential aspects of cultivating an active, healthy mind. As humans, we need socialization. We thrive when we are part of a tribe. We crave human interaction time, so get out there and get social! Every laugh and bit of chatter will feed your mind in countless ways. Call a friend and have lunch in the park. It doesn’t have to be a big production, since the goal is simple human connection.

 


5 Uncommon Methods that will Instill Calm into Your Life


We all know the conventional ways to achieve calm: meditate, go for a walk, listen to relaxing music, etc., but what about the uncommon ways to do it? For all of you who like to break the mold, here are some unconventional methods to instill calm into your life. 

 

1. Put your Phone on Silent 

 

Or even better, airplane mode. It’s a big ask, so don’t worry if you need to take baby steps to get there. The point of this exercise is that a silent phone increases the chances of achieving a quiet mind. We’re all so distracted by our black screens that we forget to soak up the present moment — so give it a go! 

 

2. Mindful Eating 

 

If you’re puzzled by this one, you’re not alone. Most people like to scarf down their food the second it’s in front of them — very primal of us. But every once and a while, it pays to eat slowly and take in every bite. Focus on the flavors as they marry, the textures, and the joy of being able to eat. That’s called mindful eating! 

 

3. Watch TV 

 

Hold on, watching TV will make me calmer?! Doesn’t everyone say it’s terrible for your mind? Well, we’re talking about watching TV in healthy, moderate doses. That doesn’t mean you should binge-watch TV every day, but when your mind needs a break, it’s perfectly acceptable to put on an episode of your favorite show to relax. 

 

4. Do Something Mundane 

 

Most people don’t get excited about mundane, menial tasks like doing the laundry or washing dishes, but it’s great for the mind. You’re probably used to a lot of thinking in that brain of yours, which means you’re not giving it a lot of time to focus on something without being totally consumed by it. Try it out! 

 

5. Use Art to Achieve Calm 

 

You may not be a junior Picasso (or maybe you are!), but that doesn’t mean you can’t use art to calm your mind. Go to a museum or stare at your favorite picture hanging on your wall. Art does an excellent job of calming people down and bringing them back to a grounded state. 

 

Simple enough, right? No matter what method (or methods) you choose to try out, make sure you’re doing what feels best for your mind and body. This is a personal thing — finding calm should be a happy, worry-free journey. Good luck! 



Monday, 6 June 2022

6 Ways to Deal with the Upheaval at Work


If you’ve ever had things fall apart at work, you’re already quite familiar with upheaval at work. It happens every time you get a new boss, or they start making significant policy changes. Though let’s face it, even those small changes in the office can create tension and make it difficult to get things done.

 

Dealing with upheaval at work isn’t hard, though, so long as you keep your head. The next time things get complicated, try these tried-and-true methods to get you back on track.

 

Stop

 

Sometimes the smarted thing you can do in a crisis is absolutely nothing at all. You need to stop and think, as an emotional reaction is going to cost you in the long run. Start by taking several deep breaths and think about what to do next. Not to mention you’ll win some bonus points if management notices you’re the one keeping calm and acting rationally.

 

Stay Positive

 

Getting caught up on the negative isn’t going to help anything. You’ll only spiral down into a cycle of blame and complaints, ending on a lot of finger-pointing or negative self-talk. This is the time to pull out a Pollyanna attitude. Sure, things went wrong, but if you can keep your optimism, you’re more likely to find the opportunity in all of this, which is worlds more productive, not just for you, but for your co-workers as well.

 

Learn from the Situation

 

Speaking of opportunity, any upheaval is fodder for a learning experience if you let it become one. Step back and look at the whole situation rationally. Look for the lessons, and then ask yourself how you can apply them to prevent the next time.

 

Talk to Your Co-Workers

 

At work, you have a rich resource just waiting to be used. Draw on the talents and abilities of those around you. By banding together and brainstorming, you’re more likely to come up with a viable solution than you ever would working alone.

 

Eye on the Prize

 

You have a particular goal in working where you do. Remember this goal now. What can you do at this moment, which will put you back on track toward your goal? How can the upheaval maybe benefit your long-term goal? Now might be the time to act.

 

Expect Disaster

 

Well, of course, things are going to go wrong sometimes. Situations change, and in any workplace, there are many moving parts to keep things going smoothly. By being prepared for the things which could go wrong, you can head off a lot of what might be an upheaval in the making.

 


How to Use 30 Minutes to Stop Worrying


Worry can derail an entire day if you let it. But did you know you had the power to stop it in just 30 minutes of your time, freeing up the rest of the day to really live your life? The answer is more straightforward than you think. 

 

When you become accustomed to worrying, you gain a constant stream of negative feedback and information in your brain. It’s like leaving the TV on to a channel designed to inform you of every worst-case scenario, only personalized to make all those dire predictions all about you.

 

Doesn’t sound like much fun, does it?

 

But by designating 30 minutes every day for worrying and allowing yourself to worry only during those 30 minutes, you gain back your day and your life simultaneously. 

 

You start by setting a ‘worry time.’ Once you have this half-hour firmly in place (put it on your calendar if you need to), you can start kicking every worrying thought to the curb. You tell it, ‘later.” and then refuse to let it near you again until it’s your designated worry break.

 

How do you do this? Try these quick steps:

 

Pick a Time

 

Grab a half hour when you’re not going to be busy. Be careful not to pick one too near bedtime, though, as it might interfere with your ability to sleep.

 

Become Conscious of Your Thoughts

 

Every time you have a worrying thought, tell it to go away until later. If it helps, jot the worry down somewhere, so you have a list to look at during your break.

 

Use a Timer

 

Worries can very quickly take over as much time as you give to them. By setting your timer to 30 minutes, you’re keeping control of just how much time you’re going to spend worrying.

 

Record Your Thoughts

 

Either write down your worries as you think about them, or if you like, journal about your thoughts during this time. Be as detailed as you like. This might also be an excellent time to examine your worries, to figure out if there’s a recurring pattern or theme. Dig down into the heart of what’s really troubling you.

 

Stop When the Timer Goes Off 

 

At the end of 30 minutes, you’re done. Any new worries now have to wait until tomorrow. Close the journal, throw away the paper, do what you need to close off the worrying for the day.

 

Repeat

 

Do every one of these steps every single day for at least two weeks. Why? Because it takes time to form a habit, which is what you’re really trying to do here. 

 

In the end, you’ll be amazed at how much freer you feel when you realize you don’t have to worry all day long. You’ll sleep better at night and be much more productive during the day. Not bad for an investment of only half an hour.



Saturday, 4 June 2022

Fear-Based Motivation


Fear can be an effective catalyst for motivation. For example, if your boss tells you to get your project done on time or you will lose your job, you can be sure you’re going to do everything in your power to get that project done. You may resent your boss for doing this, but you are probably going to do as he or she wishes unless you are looking to get fired.

 

Another situation where fear will motivate you is when something crucial breaks in your home. It could be the furnace giving out in the middle of winter. You are at a point where you have no choice but to call for expensive repairs. If you don’t, you’ll risk the pipes freezing and being uncomfortable.

 

We all have a certain amount of fear-based motivation. But, is it the best way to get people to do things? In the case of the furnace, you’ll have no choice and have to chalk it up to being a part of life. But, in the case of your boss harping on to you, is there a better way for him or her to handle the situation? Can you continually work in an environment based on that kind of fear?

 

It’s questionable whether motivation based on fear is sustainable. If you are an employee and there aren’t many jobs available as alternatives, you may feel like you have no choice but to comply. But, sometimes, this kind of negative working environment gets people more motivated to get out of the situation. In other words, the motivation tactics may work in the short-term, but eventually, employers may experience a high turnover when those employees recognize there are other choices. The internet is a great equalizer in this regard as more people can choose to freelance on their terms.

 

There’s an old saying about how you catch more flies with honey. If managers would recognize they would get more loyalty out of people by offering incentives rather than scare tactics to get their employees to do the work, maybe turnover wouldn’t be so high. Unfortunately, these managers don’t learn this until it’s too late. And even then, will they make any changes? Often, they make the justification that it’s the employee’s fault and they decided to leave.

 

Think about the impact you have if you are a manager trying to motivate your employees. If you have used fear as a motivator, is it something that has worked for you in the long-term? Or, did you simply set an environment where people couldn’t wait to get away?