Confidence gives you the ability to trust in yourself. You understand that you're going to make some mistakes. You're going to fail. But you keep going. You're confident that you can create a positive outcome. You also understand that any failure is not a declaration of who you are as a person.
It's just a thing. It's just something that happened, nothing more. You learn from it and then move on.
When you lack confidence you don't usually have that powerful belief in yourself. You question your ability to do something. Before you know it, you're lacking confidence in several different activities or responsibilities. That's because when you start to lose confidence in some aspect of your life, it can be unfortunately contagious. Low self-confidence can spread to every corner of your life and have a powerfully negative impact.
One way people develop a lack of social confidence is by believing their nagging inner voice.
You know the voice we're talking about. It's incessant, always there, and it never seems to have a positive point of view. The "what if" scenarios it paints doesn't make a pretty picture. The next time you catch yourself engaging in negative self-talk, simply do this.
Ask yourself if the negative thought is absolutely true without a doubt.
Just because you have a thought doesn't make it true. Think about previous beliefs you had that you learned were incorrect. You may have been pretty sure you were thinking the right way. Then reality or a life experience taught you a valuable lesson. Your thoughts are sometimes wrong.
Questioning Negative Thoughts Takes Away Their Power
People prefer to have their experiences reaffirm their beliefs. This is why socially confident people often create positive social interactions. Their confidence leads them to a place where their ability to create a positive social outcome is greatly enhanced.
When you stick to negative social beliefs you do the same thing. You listen to your inner voice. It tells you that nothing but bad is going to come from some interaction with another person. You believe that thought without questioning it.
This makes you nervous. You focus on a negative outcome so much that you virtually guarantee it's going to occur.
To keep this from happening, answer your inner voice. When it starts talking to you negatively about a social interaction, ask why it thinks that way. Challenge it to prove what it's saying without a shadow of a doubt. Then began to pick apart the negative thought.
Instead of asking yourself what could go wrong, ask yourself what could go right. Stop thinking the negative thought and realize there's a possibility for a wonderful and positive outcome. This is a proven way to become more socially confident and capable.
