The Science Of Happiness: Strategies For A Joyful Life

Life can get messy and unpredictable sometimes and some things are just out of our control. The way we react to certain triggers and situations and how we show up in life determine how joyful or miserable our lives can turn out to be. It takes intentional action to make life joyful and live a happy life. 

 

As the famous quote goes, “It’s not what happens to you, it’s how you react to it that matters.” - Epictetus

 

Below are some strategies for living a joyful life: 

 

Find and Prioritize Your Purpose

 

If you want to live a joyful and fulfilled life, finding a purpose is key. Some people may find purpose in their work and job, but you can also find it outside of paid work, such as doing something for the good of the community or society.

 

Look inward and think about something that you feel passionate about, that gives back to the world, that can bring in some income, and that you are good at. This is most likely to be your calling. When you find and prioritize your purpose, you have something to look forward to and wake up to every morning. It gives you a sense of purpose and joy when you fulfill your purpose, leading to a happy and satisfied life. 

 

Nurture Relationships

 

When we look at the centenarians from the Blue Zones, we see that they highly prioritize and nurture their social relationships with friends and family. They live a simple life where one of their focuses is to build and nurture supportive relationships. 

 

Even at 90 years old, these people are seen to be fit, healthy, and happy free of any chronic diseases due to their lifestyle and familial support. Therefore, it is important to learn a lesson from the people of the Blue Zones that nurturing healthy relationship has a positive impact on living a happy life. We all need support in our lives, a shoulder to cry on, and like-minded friends to share the joys of life with. 

 

Let Go of Things that No Longer Serve Us

 

Life is full of different phases and each phase requires a different and more evolved version of you. To live a joyful life, learn to let go of things, people, situations, and memories that no longer serve you, and be clear on who and what deserves to move forward into the next season of your life. 

 

This can help you let go and embrace release, leading to a happier life. To live more joyfully, learn to let go of perfectionism and how you think life ‘should be’ or what ‘could have been.’ Embrace the present moment fully and declutter your life of habits, negative mindsets, toxic relationships, and feelings of regret, guilt, or shame from the past. Learn to let go of any emotional baggage that may deter you from living a joyful life. 

 

Be Kind and Compassionate to Yourself

 

Self-care is an integral part of living a happier life. This can simply mean being kind and compassionate to yourself by not talking negatively to or about yourself. It could also mean practicing self-care like taking time out of work to rest and wind down instead of overworking yourself, focusing on improving your mental and emotional well-being, taking care of your body, and whatever else you may prefer as self-care. 

 

To be happier, you should ditch the negative self-talk, rewire, and reframe your mindset to be more kind to yourself, and see how your life shifts from misery to joy. 

 

Joy can look different to every person. What you perceive as joy may not be the same version for someone else. Some may find joy in nurturing relationships while others may prefer some ‘me time’ with themselves in solitude. 

 

It is important to discover your version of joy to live a happier life. Lastly, remember to fill your cup first so that you can pour it into others. You can’t pour from an empty cup, so find your purpose, do activities that enrich your life, let go easily, lean on others, and laugh more to live a joyful life. 

 

Finding Balance: Juggling Work, Life, And Self-Care

The more technology we have, the easier life is supposed to be – but somehow, the world just gets faster-paced and everything feels much more frantic than it did before. You're trying to kill it in your career while looking after friendships, romance, and maybe even children, but what about self-care? It feels like you're constantly juggling and if you take your eye off any of the balls for even a second, one drops to the ground. 

 

Your career demands your attention. 

 

Your family and friends need you just as much as you need them. 

 

And what about self-care? 

 

Believe it or not, you can have them all if you simply find the right balance… and you can find the tips you need to do that below. 

 

Boundaries and Priorities 

 

Step one in your journey to finding balance is establishing boundaries based on your priorities. That might mean you need to sit down and establish your priorities if you haven't already. That means understanding your core values and getting to grips with what matters most in your personal and professional life. 

 

Once that's settled, you can establish boundaries that will protect your energy and time. Just be ready to communicate your boundaries clearly and be firm when saying no. 

 

Think about your boundaries around technology, too – do you pick up emails even when you're off the clock? Do you feel the need to reply to every message instantly? Think about your relationship with the internet and social media. 

 

Organization and Time Management

 

Organization and time management work in tandem and once you crack this code, you will find it much easier to find balance. Use a calendar or diary, utilize to-do lists, and structure your day to break down your responsibilities and when you will tackle each. 

 

By breaking down every task into manageable moments, you avoid the risk of multitasking, reduce stress, improve productivity, and give yourself time for everything. 

 

Delegate

 

Something that many people struggle with is letting go of control. Let's be clear about this – you can delegate! At work and at home, you can assign appropriate tasks and responsibilities to family members and employees or colleagues. The key to finding balance is sharing the load, so learn to let go. 

 

Take Breaks Intentionally 

 

Part of finding balance and practicing self-care is taking regular breaks, which means you might need to schedule them when you sit down with your calendar and to-do list. So, schedule a take-five, go for a brief walk, sit down for a quiet meditation session, or just chill out with a glass of water or hot tea. A break should not be viewed as a luxury, it's a necessity to improve productivity and performance. 

 

Say No 

 

There's no point in establishing boundaries if you don't learn to say no! 

 

You should be able to say no to things that don't fit or feel right without feeling guilty about it. Everyone has limits, and if saying yes means pushing yourself beyond yours, you need to say no. Whether it's coffee with a friend on your busiest day of the calendar month or picking up an extra project at work when things are hectic at home. There will be times you can say yes to those things, but if you can't say yes now, don't!

 

Lean On Your Support

 

Everyone needs human connections and having a strong support system when you're dealing with life's obstacles and challenges is key. So, be sure that you are surrounded by people who respect you, understand your goals, and build you up. These people should be willing to go 50/50 in sharing responsibilities and happy to pick up the slack from time to time when it's necessary. 

 

Final Thoughts 

 

It might feel like an impossible task, but with a bit of intention, you can strike a balance between work, life, and self-care. It might be difficult at the start, but once you establish your boundaries and learn to stick to them, the rest will come with time and practice. When you do find the balance, you will start to see everything in your life improve. 

Forgiveness As Liberation: The Art Of Letting Go Of Resentment

Everyone has experienced conflict and hurt from other’s words or conduct. Suppose a co-worker got credit for your work, or you were bullied as a child. Incidents such as these leave you feeling resentful, bitter, and angry long-term if not resolved. Unresolved resentment can have a significant impact on your health.

 

“There is an enormous physical burden to being hurt and disappointed,” says Karen Swartz, M.D., director of the Mood Disorders Adult Consultation Clinic, Johns Hopkins Hospital. Chronic resentment can affect blood pressure, heart rate, and immune response, raising the risk of heart disease, depression, and other conditions.

 

On a positive note, forgiveness helps to calm your stress level, resulting in better physical and mental health.

 

Why Do We Feel Resentment?

 

When someone hurts us, we may feel a range of negative emotions such as sadness, hostility, or even hatred. When we don’t let go and forgive, we are consumed with those pessimistic feelings, affecting our self-esteem and well-being. If you are suffering from chronic resentment, you can learn to be forgiving; forgiving is a choice.

 

What is Forgiveness?

 

Psychologists commonly define forgiveness as “A conscious, deliberate decision to release feelings of resentment or vengeance toward a person or group who has harmed you, regardless of whether they actually deserve your forgiveness.” 

 

Bear in mind that you can forgive without denying or forgetting the wrongdoing against you. You are not required to mend a bad relationship or release others from legal liability. 

 

How to Forgive

 

Choose Forgiveness

 

First, you need to decide whether you choose to forgive. While you don't have to forgive, it is to your benefit to do so. Research by the Annals of Behavioral Medicine shows that increased forgiveness decreases perceived stress and improves mental and physical health.

 

Leverage the Power of Positive Thinking

The effect of negative thinking and feelings is unhappiness. In order to heal, be consciously aware when you’re burdened with pessimistic thoughts. Use positive self-talk to replace the distressing thoughts. For example, you may want to retaliate against the person who hurt you. Remind yourself that you will be fair with that person and that you will not mirror their harmful actions.

 

Change Your Perspective

Think about the other person to understand their actions better. Was the person hurt by others or mistreated? Is the person going through a difficult time? That person may be in pain, struggling with chronic resentment, affecting their behavior with others. Look at the person with a compassionate perspective to gain insight. You don’t need to excuse the person, but you can forgive and move forward.

 

Acknowledge and Accept Your Pain

Recognize the hurt you’re feeling; don’t avoid it. Explore the emotions you’re experiencing and accept the pain. Psychology Today reports “Pain is actually a necessary part of happiness, and research shows that it can lead to pleasure in several ways.” For example, pain helps you recognize happiness; otherwise, you wouldn’t recognize it as happiness. Also, relief from pain is pleasurable and increases your happiness.

 

Conclusion

When someone hurts us, we may have a difficult time letting go of the feelings of resentment. Chronic resentment harms our well-being in many ways. On the other hand, forgiveness frees us from negative emotions, calms our stress levels, and brings us peace of mind. While we don’t have to deny or forget the offense against us, letting go of resentment and practicing forgiveness is liberating and necessary for optimal wellness.

"I think the first step is to understand that forgiveness does not exonerate the perpetrator. Forgiveness liberates the victim. It's a gift you give yourself." - T.D. Jakes

 

References

https://www.hopkinsmedicine.org/health/wellness-and-prevention/forgiveness-your-health-depends-on-it

 

https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/topic/forgiveness/definition#what-is-forgiveness

 

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5055412/

 

https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/what-mentally-strong-people-dont-do/201511/5-reasons-you-have-accept-pain-if-you-want-be-happy#:~:text=But%20pain%20is%20actually%20a,t%20recognize%20it%20as%20happiness

5 Ways To Stop The Negative Effects Of Social Media

There’s no denying that there’s a lot of good that we can take from social media. The most important is that it allows us to connect with family and friends. We can also preserve memories, share things that interest us, and it’s also a great place where we can learn new, interesting things like a new skill or talent.

 

Not only that, but these platforms offer information in a myriad of ways. For example, YouTube has full-length tutorials on how to do all sorts of things, from fixing the kitchen sink to doing a macramé plant holder.

 

Pinterest is also just as popular for its vast array of data. Yet, it focuses more on pictures and short reels.

 

Then, you have Instagram, TikTok, Facebook, Twitter, and others that provide an image picture or brief video content along with a short-written explanation.

 

Nevertheless, with all these benefits that social media seems to provide, it also has its disadvantages. Research shows that spending too much time on these platforms can lead to increased stress, loneliness, isolation, and depression.

 

So, how can you take the good while minimizing the negative effects of social media? Here are five things you can try today to help you do just that.

 

Customize Your Feed

 

Unfollow and remove negative or fearmongering pages. Delete toxic friends. Limit who views and comments on your posts.

 

It sounds drastic but tell yourself that it’s perfectly okay to keep a small circle of virtual friends.

 

Instead, you can replace them with accounts that make you feel good about yourself. Look for influencers who embrace their natural beauty. Follow people who are constantly spreading positive words of motivation across their feeds.

 

Regulate the When

 

Many of us set alarms on our devices. So, it’s become second nature to immediately reach for your phone as soon as you wake up, which leads to getting bombarded with a stream of news, updates, and inconsequential posts.

 

This only leads to exacerbating your stress and anxiety, which isn’t exactly the best way to gear up for a new day.

 

Instead, consider integrating more mindful routines around two or more screen-free activities like journaling, meditating, and practicing gratitude.

 

When you do start scrolling through social media, set a time limit on how long you spend on each app. One study found that a healthy amount of time would be between an hour to two hours in total for the entire day.

 

Just make sure you split it up into 15- to 30-minute increments throughout the day. For example, you can schedule 30 minutes after breakfast, 30 minutes during your lunch break, another 30 minutes in the afternoon, and 30 minutes about three hours before bedtime.

 

Turn off Notifications

 

Just because you have your phone on you all the time doesn’t mean you have to be available 24/7. It’s okay to disconnect from the virtual world at certain times during the day.

 

Getting inundated with notifications from various social media platforms can be overwhelming. It’s especially infuriating when you’re trying to work, study, or just enjoy a few minutes of peace and quiet.

 

Remind yourself that social media apps are designed to hijack your attention and get you to spend as much as possible on them so they can generate revenue from ads.

 

The most effective you can do to reduce the amount of time wasted on these apps is to switch off notifications as many times as you need during the day.

 

Be Critical

 

Always be critical of social media. Remember that all the posts and reels you’re seeing are someone’s best moments of the day, maybe even the whole week.

 

They’re only showing you what they want you to see, which is why they probably have some time to prepare for it and set everything up. So, it’s not exactly their typical day-to-day life that they’re displaying.

 

Detox

 

Try this the next time you feel you’ve had too much social media exposure: nothing.

Put the phone down and just be in the moment. Take a look around the room. Notice how the light shines through the window. Listen to the different sounds around you.

 

Full disclosure: you’ll probably start to feel uncomfortable after about five seconds. But that’s okay.

 

As you try to hang on for a full 60 seconds, think about why you’re uncomfortable. Knowing the reason can help wean you off your addiction to social media as well as the notion that you simply must have your phone in your hand all the time.

 

Instead, why not do something more constructive with your time? You can learn a new skill, revisit an old hobby, read, exercise, go for a walk, journal, draw, paint, or play a musical instrument, and more!

 

So, find what you’re passionate about. Then, spend time doing more of that instead of mindlessly scrolling through social media.

 

Detox Your Mind: The Importance Of Letting Go Of Negative Thoughts

You might believe that negative thoughts only impact your mental space. However, the truth is that negative thoughts have the capability to invade every area of life. Here, we look at three major areas affected by negative thoughts, including mental health, physical health, and social health.

 

Mental Health

 

Negative thoughts don’t feel good. We all know that. Beyond just making us feel miserable in the moment, though, there are long-term mental health consequences of allowing negative thoughts into our mind. Some of the potential diagnoses that could arise from repeated negativity include:

 

• Major Depressive Disorder

 

• Generalized Anxiety Disorder

 

• Social Anxiety Disorder

 

• Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)

 

• Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD)

 

• Psychosis

 

Even if the mental health concerns don’t advance to an official diagnosis, you could still experience a number of mental health symptoms due to frequent negative thoughts. Some of these include:

 

• Depression

 

• Anxiety

 

• Panic attacks

 

• Low self-esteem

 

• Perfectionism

 

Physical Health

 

The mind has a lot more power over the body than most people realize. The way you think impacts how healthy your physical body is. Some examples are:

 

• Increased risk of diagnoses such as asthma, cardiovascular disease, and high blood pressure

 

• Decreased immune system strength

 

• Healthier weight

 

• Healthier blood sugar levels

 

You’ve certainly heard the phrase “mind over matter” at some point in your life. This refers to using the mind to control the body’s physical reactions to external stimuli. You can apply this principal to positive versus negative thinking. When you allow negative thoughts, your physical condition worsens in general.

 

Social Health

 

Negative thoughts can destroy any type of relationship. When you have excessive negative thoughts, you tend to ignore positive experiences and characteristics of others. This can also lead to you believing things about the other person that simply aren’t true or making up devastating scenarios in your head. You’ll also find that you’re more sensitive to jokes and other comments in conversation with others. This negativity not only damages your trust and connection with the other person but it also causes you to treat others negatively as well. Some examples of social relationships that could be affected include:

 

• Romantic partners

 

• Friends

 

• Family members

 

• Coworkers and/or supervisors

 

• Neighbors

 

• Teammates and hobby club members

 

• Classmates

 

How to Let Go of Negative Thinking

 

The first step in overcoming negative thoughts is a desire to change your thought patterns. You have to be committed. It will be tough at times but, with the right motivation, you can make it through. Try these tips for overcoming negative thoughts:

 

• Journal daily and write out your negative thoughts and emotions. Turning them into a physical form prevents them from lingering in your mind.

 

• Designate a time of day to review negative thoughts. Write down your thoughts when they occur outside this 10-15 minute time frame. This lets you move on quickly throughout your day and process later.

 

• Replace negative thoughts with positive ones when they occur. For example, instead of beating yourself up for being late, be thankful that your friend is willing to be flexible.

 

• Consciously dedicate energy toward receiving and giving love and positivity.

 

• Take care of your physical health. Again, the mind-body connection is a powerful force. Take care of one and the other will improve.

 

• Use positive affirmations for yourself and others. For example, give yourself praise for even the smallest victories.

 

• Practice gratitude for the relationships, possessions, and achievements that you have.

 

• Avoid upsetting media consumption. Incorporate humor and heartwarming media into your daily life.

 

• Dedicate your negative energy toward something productive when the thoughts occur.

 

• Practice daily meditation, such as mindfulness and loving-kindness meditation.

 

Source Links

 

https://www.forbes.com/sites/forbescoachescouncil/2016/05/09/13-coaches-explain-how-to-overcome-negative-thought-patterns/?sh=147fd31b35cb

 

https://newsinhealth.nih.gov/2015/08/positive-emotions-your-health

 

https://www.news-medical.net/health/How-Do-Your-Emotions-Affect-Your-Physical-Health.aspx

 

https://www.theatlantic.com/family/archive/2020/01/negativity-can-ruin-relationships/604597/

 

https://www.verywellmind.com/negative-self-talk-and-how-it-affects-us-4161304

 

Baggage Be Gone: How To Let Go Of Emotional Weight

Per Sabrina Romanoff, a clinical psychologist, in an article published in Very Well Mind, emotional baggage “...refers to unfinished emotional issues, stressors, pain, and difficulties we’ve experienced that continue to take up space in our minds and affect our present relationships”

 

In other words, the psychological wounds we carry prevent us from living peacefully. Worse, emotional baggage can lead to ongoing stress and depression, and even begin to create physical issues. It’s not uncommon for people with lots of emotional baggage to experience panic attacks, heart palpitations, shortness of breath, and insomnia. 

 

Though we all carry some sort of emotional baggage throughout our lives, the happiest people are those who learn to control their emotional baggage instead of allowing it to control them. Of course, this is easier said than done. 

 

However, we have some helpful tips on how to let go of the emotional weight so you can start living freely. 

 

Identify What Caused It

 

Think of addressing your emotional baggage like mold remediation. Though your goal is to treat the mold, you first have to identify what caused it because it doesn’t just appear out of nowhere. The same concept applies to this. 

 

If you carry guilt or commitment issues - two very common types of emotional weight - then it’s not enough to just accept what happened or just jump into a relationship to prove you’re okay. Doing so may lead to temporary satisfaction, but nothing sustainable. Instead, you need to figure out why these feelings exist. Like the mold, you have to get down to the real cause and treat that before you can address anything else. 

 

For example, the root cause of commitment issues could be anything from fear of rejection or abandonment that stems from childhood or having experienced abuse in a previous relationship. By identifying the root cause, you can then address its symptoms.

 

Seek Therapy 

 

If you’re dealing with an emotional weight that’s beginning to get too heavy to carry, then one way you can start to let go is by letting someone else help you with the load. One way to do this is by seeking the guidance and support of a licensed therapist.

 

In therapy, you can address your past and how it’s currently infringing on your life. Furthermore, you’ll get a chance to address what you don’t like about the baggage, which can help motivate you to unpack it. 

 

Though therapy has become a little more expensive in recent years, there are affordable options through apps like BetterHelp. Many therapists also work on a sliding scale or even on a pro bono basis, so don’t be afraid to ask about those options. 

 

Learn to Sit With Uncomfortable Emotions

 

One of the main reasons why we tend to hold onto emotional baggage is because we don’t take the time to process it. 

 

Though everyone has their coping mechanisms, it’s never healthy to avoid your emotions or try pushing them under the rug. Even if you do that - and think things are okay for a little while - they will eventually pop up again the next time you encounter a similar emotion or situation. 

 

A good example would be grief. If you don’t take the time to feel sad and angry, you may not be equipped to take care of yourself or be a strong support system for others when they, too, eventually encounter loss. 

 

It’s going to be uncomfortable but sit with your sadness when you start feeling sad. Cry when you feel like crying. Scream when you feel angry. Starting out, and to make this easier, you can even set a timer so you’re only dealing with these negative emotions within a window you feel comfortable with. 

 

When you do this, you take the power back from these emotions, so they no longer control you. With enough practice and time, you’ll be able to encounter a sad moment instead of allowing the emotional weight of a trigger to ruin your entire day. 

 

These are just a few of the best ways you can begin to let go of emotional baggage. While we all have emotional weight, you don’t have to let it rule over you. There’s a grace in allowing yourself to be human and remember that what words or actions hurt you in the past don’t have to be your identifiers forever.