When you are in the middle of a heated disagreement with someone, sometimes the last thing you think about is the best way to listen actively. Actively listening during an argument is critical because it can help you win or end it before it gets to the point where it could hurt someone's feelings. Below are a few critical tips you should follow to learn how to become a better active listener.
Pay Attention
Don’t let your mind drift to your pending rebuttal, nor should you be thinking about something random like what you are having for dinner. Rather look at the person in the eyes, stop whatever you are doing, and focus fully on the words coming out of their mouth. This focus can be one of the more difficult tasks for active listening, especially during a heated argument. However, it can help you end the argument before it becomes damaging or possibly wins the argument when you are able to turn the person's words against them.
Reflect Before You Speak
One of the best ways to teach yourself to make the above recommendation of paying attention while the other person is speaking is to resolve to reflect before each time you speak. This reflection will help you collect your emotions and thoughts before giving your viewpoint, but it will also help you listen to the other person and respond more appropriately than if you prepare what you will say ahead of time.
Clarify Anything You Don’t Understand
During an argument, the last thing you may want to do is clarify something the person said. But doing this can absolutely help you to both actively listen and possibly even end the argument. This is because clarifying with someone lets them know that you were listening and helps them to feel respected even as you disagree with them. Not only that, but you may be able to keep the argument from escalating based on a misunderstanding.
All in all, it can be very difficult to remember to listen actively during an argument or disagreement. But suppose you can remember to pay attention, reflect before you speak, and clarify anything you aren't exactly sure of. In that case, you may find the active listening is the key to ending an argument before it escalates to hurt someone's feelings beyond repair.










