Don't Let Disagreement Ruin a Relationship

Relationships are never easy, and, likely, you and your partner don't agree on everything under the sun. This is natural, and every couple deals with this. However, you want to be careful not to let disagreements ruin your relationship. So, what is the best way to keep this from happening? 

 

Don’t Avoid Arguments

 

When you know you and your partner don't agree on something, it can sometimes seem like a good idea to avoid the argument completely. For example, your partner will ask if something is okay with you and because you don't want to upset them with an argument - you lie and say you are feeling fine. This lying is not the solution because now your partner has false information about the relationship that they may use to make future decisions. These decisions will only cause future problems rather than just answering honestly and resolving the issue right now.

 

Never Let Your Agreements Get Personal

 

You've seen it in a million TV shows, the couple is arguing over who needs to do the dishes, and then one of the parties brings up an unrelated incident that happened months before that they are still upset about. Getting too personal transforms the argument into an attack of the person's character and makes it much worse than just the incident at hand. When this happens in an argument with your partner, you must realize that this is no longer a constructive argument and needs to end before someone's feelings are hurt. 

 

Agree to Disagree

 

Suppose you notice that an argument between you and your partner is beginning to escalate to the point where someone could say something that hurts the other person's feelings or could damage the relationship permanently. In that case, it's time to agree to disagree. 

 

Despite what people may think, agreeing to disagree is a resolution to an argument. And by employing it in an argument you are having with your partner, it is the same as saying you respect their opinion, but you will never see the same way, so you respect them enough to stop arguing before someone gets hurt. 

 

Overall, it can be difficult not to let a disagreement ruin a relationship. But if it’s a relationship worth fighting for, then always remember not to avoid arguments, don’t let them ever get personal, and agree to disagree if you come to a point where there is no other resolution to the argument at hand. 

How to Disagree with Someone Who Has More Power Than You

It's important that you feel validated in this world and that your opinions are being heard. "Being heard" can be difficult when you disagree with someone who has more power than you, especially if you feel intimidated by them. The good news is, there are several tips to disagree with someone that has more power than you that can keep you from feeling nervous and insecure. 

 

Pick The Right Time

 

First and foremost, when it comes to disagreeing with your superior, it's all about the timing. Don't voice your contrary opinion to your boss in the middle of a meeting with people who came to evaluate them. Instead, wait until you can have some one-on-one time to discuss why your opinions are different. This way, neither of you feeling attacked or embarrassed. 

 

Identify Goals You Share

 

Shared goals are especially important in a business setting, as one of the reasons you may disagree is because of the method used to reach said goals. So when starting this type of disagreement, make sure you mention the shared goal first, reiterate how you want to work towards it together, then voice the procedure you disagree with. This diplomacy will help the person of power see you as more of an equal than an enemy. 

 

Stay Calm

 

One of the most important things you need to remember when disagreeing with someone who has more power than you is that you need to stay calm. This is because if you start to get too emotional or out of control, the person in power may see it as an attack. Not only that, but they may feel that they can't reason with you if your emotions are out of control. If you feel yourself starting to get riled up, take a deep breath and remind yourself that you need to speak calmly to be heard properly. 

 

It can be extremely difficult to get up the nerve to disagree with someone who has more power than you. So before you do so, make sure you find a time that is good for the two of you and feel calm when you start the discussion. You also need to identify common goals to help the individual see you as an equal. Then stay calm the entire time, and you may find out that you've gotten your way at the end. 

 

How to Talk to People You Disagree With

Sometimes, life may toss you in the ring with someone you can't seem to agree with no matter how hard you try. If you are in a professional situation with this individual, where you have no choice but to talk to them, you might be wondering how you do this. Considering the two of you don't agree on anything, it might be tough. Keep reading to find out how you can talk to people you disagree with in situations like this. 

 

Choose Your Battles

 

First and foremost, when you know that you and another person disagree about a subject, it may be best to try and avoid bringing up this subject whenever possible. This way, you won't have to worry about talking to them about something you disagree with as frequently.

 

Keep Conversations Neutral

 

If opposing viewpoints do come up, try to keep the conversation on neutral ground. You can do this by asking questions about the other person's viewpoint and ensuring that you don't raise your voice. You can also redirect the conversation away from a part that might be especially sore for the two of you. 

 

Look For Where You Agree

 

Even if you can't agree on everything, it's also impossible that you disagree with everything they say as well. So when you are talking through a topic that you disagree about, highlight the parts you agree on. For example, you can say, "I agree with X opinion, but it's the Y that I am still not sure I agree with. Let me tell you why" this way, the person knows you are listening and exactly what you disagree about. 

 

Tell Stories

 

Some topics are bound to start a debate, especially if you and this individual are different. So instead of discussing things like current events, try to stick to telling stories instead. This is because stories are your recount of an event, and it will be hard for this individual to disagree with them, thus keeping the two of you in neutral territory. 

 

When it comes to talking to people that you disagree with, this can be a difficult task. But if you know the two of you disagree, then as long as you do your best to avoid the topics of disagreement and keep the conversation neutral, you shouldn't have a problem. If you disagree, try to find the places where you agree to keep the disagreement respectful. If all else fails, tell a story and let them try to disagree with that!

Top 3 Tips to Keep a Disagreement Respectful

It can be difficult to keep a disagreement respectful, especially if you are arguing over something you care about a lot. However, it's important to always be respectful during a disagreement so that no one's feelings are hurt, and relationships don't get destroyed. Below are three tips for keeping a disagreement respectful.

 

1.    Don't Put Down The Person's Beliefs

 

No matter what you are arguing about, try to keep it on the facts alone. Don’t bring either of the parties’ personal beliefs into the argument because this can quickly transform the argument from a simple disagreement to feeling like a personal attack. Find a disagreement to be quickly going in a personal direction? It may be time to agree to disagree before the argument has a chance to escalate to personal levels. 

 

2.    Use The Word I Instead of You

 

In an argument, when you use the word you frequently, it can often come across like you are directly attacking the other person, even if you don't mean for it to sound that way. In places where you would normally say "you," try changing the sentence so you can use the word I instead. For example, instead of saying, "You never do the dishes," you could say, "I feel like I am always the one to do the dishes” see how this changed the feeling and focus of the argument?

 

3.    Listen Actively

 

One of the best ways to keep an argument respectful is by ensuring that you listen to the other person when it is their turn to speak. Not listening is an unmistakable sign of disrespect if you are talking over them or responding when you haven't listened to their argument fully. Although it can be difficult, when you are in an argument, you need to listen actively while the other person is speaking and not think about your next words. It would help if you also clarified what you don't understand to ensure a misunderstanding doesn't make the argument worse. 

 

It isn't always easy to keep an argument respectful. Still, if you resolve not to let the argument get personal, use the word "I" instead of "you," and listen while the other person is speaking, you will find that you can easily disagree with respect. So next time you feel the urge to argue, use these three tips to keep your argument respectful.

What Does It Mean to “Respectfully Disagree”?

You aren't going to get along with everyone you are going to meet in this life. Even if you try, you will find the task to be quite impossible. You need to know that it is okay to disagree with an individual as long as you know what it means to "respectfully disagree."

 

It Means You Disagree With Respect

 

When you respectfully disagree with someone, it means that you don't agree with their opinion, but you still respect it, and them, as a person. It would help if you conveyed this to them while you are disagreeing. 

 

You can do this by acknowledging their beliefs, letting them know that you don't see it their way but that you don't want to argue, then letting the topic drop. This way, you aren't going back and forth for hours over something you will never agree on, causing people's feelings to get hurt. 

 

Don’t Say Things Like “No Offense”

 

First and foremost, when you are about to disagree with someone's opinion, never start with the words "no offense" or "I don't want to be rude, but." These phrases almost always instantly insult the person's feelings, meaning they will be prepared to hate what you say next, whether or not it is disrespectful to them or not.  Start instead by acknowledging their opinion instead.

 

Always Treat The Individual With Respect

 

Again, even if you disagree with the individual, it doesn't mean you don't respect them, so act like it even while you are disagreeing. Don't raise your voice, remain calm, and don't hurl insults at the other person. You also shouldn't talk over them while they are speaking, and take the time to listen to them while they are talking, then process your response. This way, both of you will be able to keep your tempers in check even though you disagree. 

 

When you disagree with someone respectfully, this means that the two of you have reached a point where neither of you will change your opinion, and thus you are both respectful of each other, even as you acknowledge your disagreement. 

 

It also means that you cherish the other person's opinion with respect, even if you may not agree with it in the end. Overall, respectfully disagreeing on a topic is a good way to keep an argument constructive without seeming like an attack on another person.

When Should You Stop Arguing and Agree to Disagree?

Sometimes, when you argue with someone, it may become apparent that you will never see each other's views. In this case, it is often better to agree to disagree rather than carrying on a pointless argument that will only upset you both. How do you know that it is time to end an argument and agree to disagree?

 

When The Argument Gets Personal

 

Maybe you started by debating which viewpoint is better, but at some point, the argument shifted to include your opponent's personal views. Once you begin attacking someone's opinions (which aren't factually backed), the argument has become personal, and there is no way one person can win without hurting the other's feelings. Now is when you need to agree to disagree, or you may find the argument becoming a personal attack.

 

When Someone Gets Emotional

 

Hopefully, this next scenario won't happen in a professional setting. Still, at any point during the argument, if someone starts to cry or raise their voice to an unnatural level for arguments, then it is time to agree to disagree. 

 

Once someone becomes emotional in an argument, they won't want to listen to reason anymore, and the argument is just steps from becoming personal. End it now by agreeing to disagree and taking time to cool down before you broach the subject again. 

 

When You Realize There Is No Right Answer

 

Sometimes when you start out an argument, it may seem like your answer is correct, but as you argue, you may find that there are two different ways for something to happen. This often happens when arguing about past events. 

 

Occasionally, two people who were there may simply remember the situation differently. When this happens, you have to realize that there is no way to go back and verify the event, and at this point, the best solution is to agree to disagree. 

 

People may think that agreeing to disagree is a cop-out when it comes to arguing, but this isn't true at all. Agreeing to disagree is a great way to end an argument before it hurts someone's feelings, someone gets emotional, or when you realize that there is more than one viewpoint over the thing, you are arguing over. Using this tactic can keep everyone happy and stop an argument before it spirals out of control. 

Building Self-Awareness: 5 Tools And Exercises To Understand Yourself Better

Self-awareness is the vital ability to turn your focus on yourself and how your emotions, actions or thoughts align – or don’t align – with your personal internal standards. 

When your self-awareness is high, it becomes easier to manage emotions, evaluate yourself objectively, understand the ways other people perceive you and align your personal behavior with your innermost values. 

 

Here are five tools and exercises that will help you understand yourself better: 

1. Use a thought diary. 

 

Thought diaries build foundations for increasing your self-awareness. They also:

• Track thoughts that are automatic for you.

• Track what occurs that brings on the thoughts. 

• Track how you react emotionally to stimuli. 

 

If you have the time, thought diaries help you to analyze why you experience the emotions you feel. 

 

2. Do something that is new to you.

 

Placing yourself deliberately outside your comfort zone reveals a great deal to you, helping you to determine:

• What you’re comfortable with

• What you do and don’t enjoy

• Where your fear boundary is

 

New activities for you could include learning about new topics. Ask yourself “why” you feel the way you do, to discover the root reason why you wish to do something. 

 

3. Use coaching or therapy. 

 

With coaching, you’ll be tapping into your innermost motivations. This helps you to create a plan for making changes. You can set goals for self-awareness in the future and outline the clearest path to self-improvement. 

 

Therapy allows you to learn a great deal about yourself. Trained professionals are helpful in learning to unpack experiences from your past and to better understand your own behaviors.

 

4. Listen to your inner voice.

 

The words you use daily have profound impacts, helping to shape your relationship with others, things and ultimately yourself. 

 

Many people talk to themselves, and it’s a natural but undervalued skill. It will:

 

• Stimulate useful self-reflection

• Increase your motivation

• Connect you more fully with your emotions

 

There is a correlation between talking to yourself frequently and attaining a higher level of self-evaluation and self-awareness. Using positive words is more helpful. Pay close attention to your own voice – do you speak to yourself in ways you might not let others speak to you? 

 

Also be attentive to the ways in which you respond to success and failure. Your inner voice subconsciously creates valuable feedback loops, which can be turned into positive or negative experiences. 

 

Using phrases like “I have to,” “I can’t” or “I shouldn’t” may limit your potential, as they create a more negative attitude. 

 

5. Practice yoga.

 

Yoga is at once a physical and a mental practice. When you stretch, bend and flex your body, your mind learns self-acceptance, discipline and self-awareness. You’ll become more fully aware of your own body and the feelings you manifest. You’ll also become aware of the workings of your mind and the thoughts that are generated subconsciously. 

You can also pair your yoga with meditation of mindfulness in order to more fully boost your self-awareness. 

 

Conclusion

 

Self-awareness is a vital aspect of your personal growth and subsequent development. It basically refers to your ability to recognize your own behaviors, thoughts and emotions. 

This self-awareness will allow you to more fully understand yourself, including your values, beliefs, strengths and weaknesses. 

 

If you seek professional or personal growth, it’s important to develop a keen sense of self-awareness. It will serve as a strong foundation for effectively managing emotions, making well-informed decisions, building stronger relationships and achieving fulfilment on a personal level. 

 

If you are keenly self-aware, you will better understand your aspirations, goals and motivations, which will enable you to align your actions accordingly. 

 

References

 

https://positivepsychology.com/building-self-awareness-activities/

https://www.betterup.com/blog/self-awareness-activities

https://positivepsychology.com/self-awareness-matters-how-you-can-be-more-self-aware/

 

5 Signs You Might Be a People Pleaser

Has someone told you that you are a people pleaser? It might be true, but it's a good idea to get a second opinion if you aren't sure. Below are 5 signs that you might be a people pleaser - consider these to be your "second opinion." 

 

1. You Can’t Say No

 

Your friend has asked you for a favor for the 10^th time. Your boss just asked you to stay late again. Both of your divorced parents want to see you for the holidays. A people-pleaser says yes to all of these people because they can't seem to say no to anyone.

 

Not saying no means you are definitely a people pleaser, especially when you say yes to things that you know aren't going to work out. 

 

2. You Constantly Wonder What Others Think

 

Are you always worried that your friends might hate you? Or that your significant other doesn't see you in the way you want them to see you? These anxious thoughts are a sure sign of people-pleasing behavior. Thoughts like these cause you to please others before taking care of yourself.

 

3. You Feel You Never Have You Time

 

Self-care is important, and most people-pleasers find they simply don't have the time. Mostly because they are too busy saying yes to everyone else. Take a look at your schedule. Do you have time penciled in just for you? If not, you're probably a people pleaser. 

 

4. You Feel Bad Saying No

 

Okay, so maybe you can say no, and you have before. However, did you feel bad or guilty when you said it? You have every right to say no, and you shouldn't feel bad doing it. If you do, this is another sign that you are a people-pleaser. 

 

5. You Constantly Apologize

 

Are you always apologizing for everything, even stuff that may not be your fault? This isn't healthy and means that you are probably a people-pleaser. People-pleasers want people to like them no matter what, which can lead to them apologizing for things they didn't just to make sure they stay in the person's good graces. 

 

Did you find that three or more of these things described you and how you feel? If so, you are likely a people pleaser. If you don't want to damage your own health pleasing others, it's definitely time to accept that you are a people pleaser and begin looking for help to overcome your people-pleasing ways. 

 

How Can I Stop Being a People Pleaser?

Have you recently come to realize that you are a people pleaser? Don't worry. This is a common revelation. But now that you've realized you are a people pleaser, it's time to stop being one for your own health and sanity. 

 

Below are some ways you can learn to stop being a people pleaser. 

 

Set Boundaries

 

The most important step to stopping your people-pleasing ways is to establish boundaries in your relationships. Of course, different relationships will have different boundaries, but they need to be there regardless. For example, if your significant other asks you to do something extra because they have a busy week ahead, this might be okay, but if your friend does this all the time, it might be time to draw the line. 

 

Take Small Steps

 

Chances are, you aren't going to stop being a people pleaser overnight. Being a people pleaser has probably been ingrained in your mind since you were young. Therefore, you should start small instead of changing everything at once. To begin with, you can set some simple boundaries that shouldn't offend anyone. For example, let someone know you aren't available during work hours. 

 

Set Goals For Yourself

 

It's important, as you stop being a people pleaser, that you have a clear direction for yourself to stop from sliding back into your people-pleasing ways. You should make goals of who you want to devote your time to and what you want to accomplish in life. It is common for people-pleasers to feel as if they need to please their parents to the point where they neglect their romantic relationships. If this sounds like you, your goal should be to devote more of your time to your significant other and less to your parents. 

 

Engage in Positive Self-Talk

 

People pleasers feel good about themselves when they do something nice for someone else, and as you leave your people-pleasing ways, you will likely be missing this positive reinforcement. This is why you need to create it for yourself. Every time you establish a boundary and keep it, tell yourself you did a good job and that you are doing something good for yourself—because it may not feel as good as people-pleasing does at first.

 

Overall, the road to leaving your people-pleasing ways isn't going to be without struggle. But if you use the above tips, you'll find that you are actually enjoying doing something for yourself rather than people-pleasing all the time. Before you know it, your people-pleasing days will be nothing but a distant memory. 

 

How Does People Pleasing Hurt Us?

Maybe you've recently discovered that you are a people pleaser. What is so wrong with that? You like to make others happy! 

 

The truth is, people-pleasing is a damaging behavior for several reasons. Keep reading to learn more about the dangers of people-pleasing and how it may be hurting you. 

 

People Pleasing Can Damage Your Physical Health

 

When you take on risks and activities you aren't comfortable with just to make someone else happy, you are being a people-pleaser. These risks and activities can lead to physical damage.

 

Here is a question, have you ever gotten hurt doing something stupid to impress somebody? Yeah, don't worry - we all have.  

 

You Can Damage Your Mental Health

 

Besides your physical health, your mental health is in jeopardy when you constantly people-please. As a people pleaser, you often don't make enough time to care for yourself, and self-care is essential for maintaining mental health. When you disregard your mental health for too long, this can cause serious conditions like burnout and depression. 

 

You May Get Into a Toxic Relationship

 

People pleasers don't know how to say no, and sadly, there are people out there that will take advantage of this fact. Namely - toxic people who like to control others. Toxic relationships are unhealthy, as they frequently contain mental - or even physical - abuse.

 

It is extremely difficult to leave toxic relationships, so difficult in fact that many people don't get out soon enough. If you are a constant people-pleaser, you will find it harder to spot (and listen to) the signs indicating someone is toxic. 

 

You Won't Be As Successful

 

In addition to all the physical and mental damage, people-pleasing can cause, it also keeps you from achieving your dreams. You are so focused on saying yes to others and making them happy that you put what you need to do on the backburner. This means that someday you could come to realize you are working a job that you hate in a city you hate—all because you couldn't say no and tell others that you needed to focus on yourself. 

 

As you can see, being a people pleaser is quite dangerous all around. It hurts your physical and mental health and keeps you from success. So if you want to live a happy and healthy life filled with success, it's time to stop being a people pleaser right away.