How To Make Criticism Work For You

It may seem counter-intuitive, but sometimes a critique can be the most impactful thing someone can offer you. It all comes down to what you decide to do with it. If you’d like to discover how to make criticism work for you, rather than derail you, read on.

 

Create Distance

 

When someone says something critical about you, you have some choices to make. Of these choices, one of the most significant is whether or not you choose to be offended. 

 

The stoic philosopher Epictetus said this on the subject, “If someone in the street were entrusted with your body, you would be furious. Yet you entrust your mind to anyone around who happens to insult you and allow it to be troubled and confused. Aren't you ashamed of that?”^[1]

 

In other words, don’t fall into the trap of allowing the opinions of others to control your emotions and take charge of your mind. By recognizing that someone’s thoughts about you only have the significance you afford them, you can decide how you will feel, and you see the foolishness of letting other people’s words control you. 

 

This recognition creates distance between what is said and your sense of self-worth, a powerful tool to assist you in navigating snares of modern life such as the attention economy and cancel culture.

 

Let Life Be Your Teacher

 

Choosing to learn from each experience you have is profoundly empowering. You don’t have to agree with people or even think they’re intelligent. The important thing is that you can garner lessons from everything you encounter in life.

 

When someone criticizes you, it’s a great opportunity. Since you’ve already chosen to create distance and not allow words to offend you, you now have the chance to scan over what was said and see if there’s anything useful there. You’re ready to learn and grow if possible, transforming the encounter from a trial to a win.

 

Embrace The Process

 

Sometimes a little humility goes a long way. When we acknowledge that we’re all works in progress, it doesn’t hurt so much to encounter criticism. Instead of feeling embarrassed or belittled, you can figure out how the observation might pave the way for improvement. After all, a lack of growth often leads to stagnation, so we should embrace the process, relishing opportunities to break the mold and move forward.

 

Criticism Can Cultivate Creativity

 

Sometimes hearing what is wrong with something you’ve done can pave the way for innovation. For example, when someone presents you with issues in a proposal you present, or holes in a story you’ve written, it can reveal new ideas that were previously obscured from your view. This expanded vision is a part of how collaboration works, making more minds better than one.

 

According to Harvard Business Review, there’s a sweet spot in criticism that recognizes the flaws in something without throwing the baby out with the bathwater. They refer to this process as “yes, but, and.” In this scenario, the “yes, but” portion presents the issue with a presented idea, while the “and” portion presents potential solutions.^[2]

 

By approaching a discussion this way, the critique becomes an invaluable method for creating novel solutions without disregarding a person’s initial concept. As with many encounters, showing regard for other people’s feelings and perspectives while giving constructive criticism makes for more thorough communication and better outcomes.

 

Final Thoughts

 

It isn’t all bad to be criticized, even when the critic has questionable intentions. When we choose to analyze a person’s words, scan them for utility, and refuse to take them personally, we will always learn from the encounter. The freedom from releasing the perception of insult paves the way for vast personal improvement while removing potential suffering.

 

The benefits of criticism are amplified when it is used constructively amongst respectful individuals. In this ideal scenario, you will be encouraged to elevate your ideas and hone your skills, while being free from personal attack. Thus, being amongst good company is another potent way to make criticism work for you.

 

References

 

1. Salomon, Albert, editor. The Enchiridion. Translated by Thomas Wentworth Higginson, Bobbs-Merrill, 1955. 
2. “Why Criticism Is Good for Creativity.” Harvard Business Review, 16 July 2019, https://hbr.org/2019/07/why-criticism-is-good-for-creativity.

 

How a Stoic Mindset Can Make You Impervious to Harm

One of the most incredibly motivating and inspiring films of all time is without a doubt Rocky. Rocky is a film about people punching and hitting each other, but it has become much more than that. The Rocky theme tune is iconic and plays during pretty much any scene featuring people getting better at something. The film is adored by gym-goers all around the world and it is the ‘go to film’ for getting pumped.

 

But Rocky’s appeal lies deeper than the surface level masculinity, muscles and 80s rock. The key to Rocky’s influence lies in its message.

 

Because when Rocky goes up against and impossibly tall opponent, you know that it’s a metaphor. This is a metaphor for life and in our own lives, that opponent could be any obstacle. You know that eventually, Rocky is going to plough through that obstacle and you feel that in time, you could do the same.

 

Stoicism

 

If you watch the Rocky films more deeply, you’ll notice that they all share a few things in common. In particular, they all have Rocky in a rather bad place at the start. Rocky starts out destitute and alone and it is only by conquering these challenges that he is able to improve his lifestyle and his happiness.

 

What is this telling us? Simple: life is hard. And this is clearest in the excellent speech in Rocky Balboa ‘It ain’t about how hard you can hit, it’s about how hard you can get hit’.

Here, Rocky is espousing stoic wisdom. Stoicism is perhaps the most bad-ass philosophy and its central tenant is that life is hard. Bad things will happen. There’s no benefit in being blindly optimistic: all we can do is to focus on dealing with the hard times when they come.

 

By doing this, we prepare ourselves for the storms that will come and we fortify ourselves against them. We are prepared for hard times and we are psychologically ready to deal with them. And because of this: nothing can surprise us and nothing can slow us down.

 

There is honor in surviving hard times. It makes us stronger, it makes us better. So, don’t shut out the hard times: thrive in them and allow them to make you stronger. That is stoicism and that is how you can ensure that you never face a challenge that you can’t handle.