Showing posts with label EQ. Show all posts
Showing posts with label EQ. Show all posts

Sunday, 25 September 2022

5 Choices That Support Mental Health


When a person suffers from a mental health illness, such as depression or anxiety, the first-line treatments are usually mental therapies and medicines. What isn't always talked about are the variable lifestyle choices that affect our mental health. 

 

According to Psychology Today, "That’s a lamentable oversight because lifestyle changes—things as simple as nutrition and exercise—can have a significant impact on quality of life, for any of us, but especially for those dealing with issues such as depression, anxiety, bipolar disorder, and schizophrenia. They can also help minimize the development of risk factors that can lead to conditions like diabetes, cardiovascular disease, and hypertension, all of which are seen at higher rates in those with mental illness, the study noted."

 

Making beneficial life choices can be uplifting. While time and financial constraints may restrict a few people's capacities to make such choices, we all can make small but significant changes.

 

Here Are Five Lifestyle Choices To Get You Started:

 

1. Make Healthy Diet Choices

 

According to studies, our diet can impact our mental health, both positively and negatively. According to new research from the University of Warwick, fruits and vegetables are associated with improved mental health. 

 

This is significant because mental well-being—feelings of enthusiasm, joy, self-esteem, and resilience—can help to safeguard not only against mental health issues but also physical illnesses.

 

2. Cut Back On Your Vices

 

Managing problem drinking or substance abuse is a no-brainer in terms of both mental and physical health. People with alcohol and drug problems are more likely than the general population to suffer from a mental illness, and their health outcomes are far worse. 

 

According to the Substance Abuse And Mental Health Services Administration, SAMHSA,

 

In 2020, 50.0% of people aged 12 or older (or 138.5 million people) used alcohol in the past month (2020 NSDUH)

 

Among the 138.5 million people who were current alcohol users, 61.6 million people (or 44.4%) were classified as binge drinkers and 17.7 million people (28.8% of current binge drinkers and 12.8% of current alcohol users) were classified as heavy drinkers (2020 NSDUH)

 

According to the WebMD, side effects of alcohol consumption include:

 

  • Worsening of mental health after the calm feeling fades
  • Hangovers including headaches and nausea and vomiting
  • Post-alcohol anxiety and/or depression

 

3. Spend Time In Quiet

 

We live in a noisy world. When we are outside, we are encircled by cars honking and public noises created by individuals, and the general hustle and bustle of the surroundings. When we are inside all day, such as at a desk, we are encircled by sounds from dialogues, texting, cell phones, office equipment, and so on. 

 

We also have noises from TVs or radios inside our homes. Our phones are always buzzing, with notifications and of course the very loud call of social media. 

 

Getting some quiet private time can do wonders for our mental health. This will result in more focused thoughts throughout the day. You can even try meditation, which promotes mental health.

 

4. Use Stress Reduction Methods

 

Mental illness sustains stress, and stress sustains mental illness. Taking measures to reduce stress in your life can help to break this destructive cycle. 

 

According to LifeHack, "There are many forms of stress. People do not even realize they suffer from stress. Still, the buildup of small and regular negative thoughts and energy could negatively impact your mental and even physical health. Stress can cause poor mental health in various disorders such as depression and anxiety, personality changes, bipolar disorder, problem behaviors, cognitive (thinking) problems, etc."

 

Effective Stress Management Techniques:

 

  • Yoga
  • Meditation
  • Rest and relaxation
  • Progressive Muscle Relaxation
  • Deep Breathing
  • Eliminating sources of great stress
  • Distractions
  • Tai Chi
  • Unplug
  • Spend time doing things that bring you joy

 

5. Discuss Your Problem With Someone

 

If you have things or an issue on your mind, getting it off your chest can help you a lot. It is important to remember that desiring assistance implies strength, not weakness. It has been said that an issue that is partially shared is an issue that is half solved. 

 

When you suppress negative or hurtful thoughts, such as frustration, your mental health suffers. You will feel stressed and tense, and you may not get enough sleep at night. These emotions accumulate quickly, resulting in a somewhat desperate state that you cannot resist, such as depression or stomach ulcers.



4 Benefits of Connecting with Nature


You know how good it feels to get out and relax in nature, right? It’s time out from the stresses of everyday life, space and clean air, to breathe and take some time for yourself. But did you also know that there are scientifically proven health benefits to connecting with the natural world? It’s so beneficial you could even call it nature therapy! Here’s how being in the great outdoors is great for you.

 

Nature reduces stress and anxiety

 

Being out in nature has a measurable effect on your stress levels. They go right down, also lowering your risk of anxiety and depression. Even if you live and work in high rise glass and steel buildings, having a dose of the natural world can help lift your mood, your cognitive function, and your mental health. Whether it’s a walk in the park or even having a plant on your desk or being able to look out of the window, any connection with nature will help. 

 

Connection with nature is healing

 

Studies have shown that even being able to see a natural landscape can help hospital patients recover faster. 

 

It also helps your immune system function better. Scientists have found more than twenty pathways or connections between exposure to nature and improved health, protecting you from heart disease, depression, and diabetes.

 

Nature changes your perceptions of the world

 

Researchers have found that walking through a rural area changed the study participants attitude toward their to-do list. They saw their tasks as more manageable than participants who walked through city streets. 

 

People who exercise outdoors move faster, have a lowered perception of effort, enjoy their exercise more, and are more likely to stick to their routine than people exercising in a gym. 

 

Nature is great for your mental health

 

Remember how good it feels to be near the ocean, a river or a waterfall? That’s because the air near moving water is full of negative ions that can act as natural anti-depressants. It’s the same effect as the change in the air after a thunderstorm when the air is no longer oppressive but clear and fresh. 

 

There are now many studies which show that people living in green areas, or who have access to green spaces in cities, have significantly better mental wellbeing than people who live cut off from nature. 

 

Even having an aquarium, houseplants, or a view onto green space can help. 



Sunday, 18 September 2022

Misconceptions About Negotiating


The pervasive perception of negotiation in the West is more negative than it is in most other places in the world. We imagine men screaming at each other across a boardroom table, spittle flying. But that’s not what negotiation really looks like if you are doing it right. The goal of negotiation is for both parties to get what they want. The aim is to reach a win-win. There are several misconceptions about negotiating that we would like to straighten out here and now.

 

It’s too combative - As mentioned above, negotiation shouldn’t be aggressive or nasty. You don’t need to view it as a competition or confrontation because it’s not. Instead, bargaining is simply an exchange of points and offers. 

 

It’s only for cheapskates - More people are watching their pennies nowadays, and one way to improve your wealth is to negotiate, especially on high ticket items. Why pay more than you need to? How do you think people with a lot of money in the bank got there? No doubt, part of their strategy was to negotiate the price of things when appropriate.

 

It’s improper - Especially in the case of high ticket items, sales people expect you to try to negotiate price. If you own a house, for example, did you settle on the asking price or did you offer less? Same with a car. Most car dealerships state their highest price, knowing that people will ask for something lower. If they get their asking price, all the better. But they don’t expect it. It’s not improper to save money.

 

It takes a certain type of personality - This misconception goes back to believing that negotiating is aggressive. Though it may feel less than comfortable in the beginning, some practice can take care of that. Even shy people can learn to negotiate. It’s a skill that can be learned, not necessarily something you are born with.

 

It’s not worth the time or money - Again, in the case of expensive purchases, it can be well worth your time to negotiate price. Many people who are selling something, whether a company or an individual on Craig’s List set their price high, expecting to bargain. Is it worth your time to shave a few car payments off the life of your car loan? If not, it should be.

 

It’s embarrassing - This misconception is rooted in the fact that most people are uncomfortable negotiating. But all it takes is some practice. You also won’t negotiate on everything you buy. The kid checking you out at a fast food place or movie theater isn’t going to knock down the price. But the salesman trying to sell you a dishwasher probably would. Knowing when to bargain and then practicing it is all that is needed to end the embarrassment.

 


Why It’s Important to Be Able to Debate


When you think of the word debate, you probably think of a somewhat nerdy after-school activity offered in some high schools. But debating isn't just for sport, as it is also known as "arguing." And clearly, arguments have a place in our everyday lives. No matter what you call it, though, it is an important life skill to have for several different reasons. 

 

Debating Helps You Form Your Own Opinion

 

If you've never debated a topic, chances are your feelings about the topic aren't fully formed. When you debate something, it challenges you to think about the topic at a deeper level. And when you think about the topic at a deeper level, it helps you solidify your emotions about the topic. 

 

Debate Helps You Learn

 

Besides just solidifying your emotions about a particular topic, the debate also allows you to learn more about a topic you may be passionate about. Your opponent may make a point that you had never heard of before. However, for this to hold true, you need to make sure you listen when the other person(s) are speaking instead of just preparing your answer while they speak. 

 

Debate Activates Your Brain

 

While debate isn't the only way to activate your brain, it activates a part of your brain that you don't often use. This part of the brain deals with problem-solving and the art of persuasion. When you debate with someone, you exercise both of these skills, crucial to survival as an adult. Even most schools recognize this, so several colleges such as Oxford recommend debate classes for all of their students. 

 

Debate Solves Problems

 

If you have an opinion and never share it with anyone in your life, problems could arise because you haven't made your opinions clear. Debating a topic helps bring everyone's opinions to the forefront in an environment where they are respected. Just make sure you never attack someone else for their beliefs. Only attack the topic at hand so that it doesn’t become personal.

 

These are just a few of the many reasons that it's important to learn to debate. Without knowing how to debate, it's likely an individual will go through life being misunderstood by others and even by themselves, as they may not understand their stance on certain issues. So, if you think this describes you, it’s time to learn how to debate today!

 


6 Ways Being Authentic Spurs Success


Everyone wants to succeed. It’s normal to want to achieve things in life. The question is, how do you want to go about it? You’ve got goals, but what traits do you need to get where you want to go?

 

There are a lot of the standard answers, such as having grit, integrity, a lot of confidence, and a creative spark. But have you considered how being authentic takes you into the new success of the modern world?

 

Think about these things:

 

Simplified Decision-making

 

Being authentic means, you stay true to yourself. By extension, you remain true to your goals as well. Authenticity makes it easier to choose your next steps, as everything you do will reflect your values and where you want to go. 

 

You Protect Yourself from Less Than Favorable Influences

 

If you’re authentic, people who aren’t as open or truthful in their own lives will tend to shy away from you. Even when they don’t, your inherent honesty is going to make it easier for you to spot people who aren’t as authentic as you are. 

 

People Want to Be Around You

 

When you’re authentic, people know they can trust you; they want to be around you. Looking for people to work with on a project? You’ll have plenty of volunteers. Even in social situations, you’re going to find yourself the center of attention more often. You’ll make better connections with people who are interested in helping you on the road to success.


You’re Quick to Learn New Things

 

Being authentic means you’re not going to waste time lying to yourself. If you’re stuck or don’t know what to do next, you’re more likely to look for solutions and find them, leading to more successful outcomes.

 

No Regrets

 

How many times has your gut tried to tell you something was wrong, or that you were heading off on a tangent? Authentic people tend to pay more attention to these feelings. Paying attention to your gut feelings will stand you in good stead because, more often than not, your intuition is right. When it comes to making other decisions, authenticity will guide you to do what you really want to do, over what you ‘should’ do. Listen to your intuition, and you’ll find you have fewer regrets and more achievements.

 

You’re Seen as Having Integrity

 

Reputation matters. It is perhaps the most significant help in achieving success. If people see you as being ‘real,’ they’re going to support you in whatever you do. Success comes naturally from here.

 


Top Benefits of Being Your Authentic Self


Being your authentic self sounds wise, yes? But did you know that being true to yourself has a range of benefits? Studies have shown that authenticity is more than a feel-good way of life, it is good for your health, relationships, even your career!

 

Here are some of the top benefits of living an authentic life.

 

Greater self-confidence

 

To live an authentic life has a significant effect on your self-confidence. You like yourself more, you trust your judgment, you acknowledge and work with your own unique set of skills and talents, and you make better choices that align with how you want to be.

 

More respect

 

As your confidence grows, you’ll inspire respect in others as they see you living in your truth. Everyone wants someone to look up to, and people recognize and respect authenticity. You’ll find yourself being a role model for others.

 

Greater trust

 

When people see you living in alignment with your values, see you being straightforwardly yourself, their trust in you will soar. And trustworthy people make great leaders. If you become known for being honest and trustworthy, you’re more likely to be promoted or given opportunities. 

 

Better health

 

Living in alignment means you’re much more likely to take care of yourself, you’ll prioritize self-care, rest and balance. Researchers found that people committed to living an authentic life were more likely to eat healthy foods, exercise and get regular physical exams. Being your authentic self also sets you up for better mental health as you are calmer, less conflicted and are generally all around happier! 

 

Greater resilience

 

People who are at peace with their true selves are much more resilient when it comes to dealing with life’s ups and downs. They deal better with stress, which in turn has great benefits for their physical health. They don’t spend their lives in the cortisol soup that comes from being highly stressed. 

 

Better relationships

 

Being authentic leads to better relationships because you’re not pretending to be someone else. You can be honest and straightforward about who you are and what you value, without fear of being judged. You’re also better at managing boundaries and less judgmental of your partner.

 

And ultimately, living an authentic life means that when you come to the end of your natural life, there shouldn’t be any regrets! You’ve probably seen those lists of top regrets of the dying and resolved not to be one of those people. Start now by choosing to live authentically. Choose to be authentic and choose to be happy!

 


Sunday, 11 September 2022

Family Life: How to Simplify Family Communication


With all the technical advances today, it’d be easy to assume that family communication has gotten simpler. But families are receiving thousands of messages each day from electronic devices. 

 

Whether it’s the advertisements on your smartphone games, the Twitter chats you follow, or the Pinterest boards you scroll through, you’re being given an information overload. This overload can cause problems in communicating with the ones you love most.

 

Staying connected with your significant other or your children is important. Without communication, family members will eventually retreat into separate lives. To prevent this from happening and to keep your communication line open follow these tips.

 

Give your full attention.

 

If you’ve ever tried to communicate with someone that stared at their smartphone the entire time, then you know how frustrating this can be. It can feel like the other person is saying, “You’re not important to me.”

 

When your kids see you constantly connected to electronic devices, they may be less likely to open up to you and have serious conversations. That’s why it can be helpful to have technology free periods in your day. For example, if your child is a morning person, then consider having a no-technology rule at breakfast. This gives you and your kids time to connect when they’re at their best. 

 

Build a foundation of love and trust.

 

If your loved ones feel like they’re going to be judged, they’re not going to communicate with you. An essential ingredient to healthy family communication is kindness. When your child or significant other is talking, don’t rush to make a judgement. Instead, try to ask open-ended questions like ‘how did you feel when that happened’ or ‘what are you going to do about this situation’. 

 

Listen to body language.

 

When it comes to communication, few things are more helpful than body language. During conversations with your kids, take a moment to analyze their body language. Are their words defiant but their eyes are filled with fear? This extra bit of information can make a big difference in getting to the bottom of what’s bothering your loved one.

 

Discover what you want from your heart.

 

Understanding what you want and need from your relationships is an important part of communicating with loved ones. For example, it might be that you feel loved when someone performs an act of service for you or when someone offers words of affirmation.

 

When you know what your love language is, don’t be afraid to ask for it. You might say, “Mommy’s feeling sad. Can I have a hug?” 

 

Of course, your children can’t provide for all of your emotional needs. But when you express what you want, you’re sending the message to your kids that it’s OK to ask for support in the way that they need it.

 

Communication is a key part of any relationship. If you make a mistake in communicating with your kids, don’t be afraid to be humble and apologize. This keeps your communication lines strong.

 

Reflections And Intentions…

 

1. When a loved one is speaking, how do you communicate that you're listening? Do you nod along, put down your smartphone, etc.?

            

2. In what ways do you ask for support or comfort from your loved ones?

 

3. Does your family have technology free time periods? Why or why not?

 


Family Life: 5 Steps to Creating A Family Vision Board


A family vision board is a tool that can be a fun way to represent your goals as a family. With a vision board, your family can visualize what life will be like when you accomplish your goals. It can also give each member of the family a feeling of purpose while doing everyday tasks. 

 

It’s difficult for kids to understand that your family is saving money for a dream vacation when they’re eating leftovers or buying second hand clothing. This is because kids don’t always see the long-term payoff of short-term sacrifices. But when you have a family vision board, you can show your kids pictures of your dream vacation and encourage them to think about how much fun they’re going to have in a few months.

 

Ready to create your own family vision board? Here’s how to get started now…

 

Step #1: Gather your family.

 

It’s important that every member of your family contributes to the vision board. When your kids feel like they’re part of the process, they’re more likely to take ownership and work toward your family’s goals.

 

Step #2: Schedule it. 

 

You’ll want plan for time to work on your vision board. Even a small vision board can take several hours to complete. If you don’t have a lot of time for family activities, you can break up the creation phase into several small meetings.

 

It’s important that you make these meetings fun for your family. Consider having special drinks or snacks as you work on your board and encourage each family member to dream big.

 

Step #3: Decide on the format.

 

Now that you’re ready to get started, you’ll want to consider what format is going to work best for your family. Your family can create your vision board as a poster, a scrapbook or as a digital slideshow. If you’ll be creating a poster or scrapbook, you’ll want to gather plenty of supplies like scissors, tape, old magazines, and even paint.

 

For a digital vision board, you can create your board inside a program like Photoshop or GIMP. If you’re not skilled with graphic design, don’t worry. There are plenty of websites that allow you to create a vision board online. 

 

Step #4: Consider your family’s goals.

 

Now comes the fun part. Start talking with your family about your core values, people you’d like to meet, places you’d like to visit, and adventures you’d like to have. Where do you want to be as a family in five years? 

 

If you’re overwhelmed with ideas, it’s OK to divide your vison board into sections. You could create sections for academic goals, travel goals, or career goals. 

 

Step #5: Stay positive.

 

Creativity requires positive energy. If a family member says something negative, have them write that thought down then crumple the sheet and toss it into the trash. Explain that letting go of negativity is essential to dreaming big.

 

A family vision board can be a lot of fun to create. Let every family member contribute to it in some way. This will help you bond as a family and allow you to support each other’s goals. 

 

Reflections And Intentions…

 

1. Has your family created a vision board? If not, when can you schedule time so you can do this fun family activity?

            

2. What did you learn about your family members by creating a vision board together?

            

3. Looking at your vision board, how can you show support for each family member's goals?

 


Family Life: Stop Comparing And Decide What YOU Want


Kids have a tendency to compare their life to their friends’ lives. They might argue over who got more gifts for Christmas, who has better clothes, or who’s more popular at school. As a parent, you probably tell your child not to compare. 

 

It’s easy to tell your kids to stop this habit, but it’s not easy to model it. When other families in your neighborhood move to bigger homes in better neighborhoods, you might feel the pressure to do the same thing. 

 

When your friends travel more often and further away, you might feel that your family is lagging behind. Even simple things like your child’s birthday party can cause you to compare, so you spend time and money planning an elaborate party that’s better than their friends’ parties. 

 

Is Comparison Making Your Family Miserable?

 

Like your kids, you may feel the need to measure up and prove that you and your family are just as good as everyone else. But constantly trying to outdo everyone else can cause you and your family members to experience overwhelm, burnout, depression, and even panic attacks.

 

Maybe you recognize some of your own comparison habits or the habits of your children. The good news is that you can undo the damage with time and practice.

 

What Do Kids Really Want?

 

As a parent, you might be tempted to believe that what your child really wants is the latest gaming console, the best clothes, or the hottest electronics. But social experiments like Ikea: The Other Letter show that children prefer quality time with their parents to gifts and expensive luxury items. 

 

You don’t have to move your family to a remote cabin in the mountains in order to spend more quality time together. You can play board games, go on a hike, or build a fort in the living room. Even simple things like going to the grocery store together can be special if you and your child power off the electronics. By disconnecting with technology, you and your child will find it easier to connect with each other. 

 

How Can You Inspire Your Kids?

 

Another helpful way to end comparisons is to create a family vision board. This lets you and your kids define what you value most as individuals and as a family. You can use this board to guide you when making family decisions so that everyone feels heard.

 

You can also help your kids stop comparing their lives to their friends’ by getting them involved in events for those in need. When your child volunteers at a soup kitchen every Saturday, they gain perspective. They begin to understand that there are worse things than having leftovers twice a week. When you encourage your child to help others, you’re teaching them to develop an attitude of gratitude and creating a desire to serve others. 


When it comes to comparison, understand that it can take some time to change your family’s attitudes. Keep working at it and encourage your kids to hold you accountable, too.

 

Reflections And Intentions…

 

1. Who do you find yourself comparing your family to? In what ways do you compare?

            

2. When your kids start comparing themselves to their friends, what advice do you usually offer? Does this advice seem to help?

            

3. How can you get your kids involved in activities that help those in need?



Sunday, 28 August 2022

5 Tips to Help You Have More Energy When Socializing


Introvert or extrovert? You wouldn't think it matters, but the truth is, some people thrive on social interaction. Others don't.

 

But even if you're not an introvert, social interactions can sometimes be draining. The problem is these interactions tend to be the ones where you do need to be at your best. Think about the last time you had a job interview or spent time in conversation with a mentor. Even the best conversations can leave you tired.

 

So, how do you turn this around and keep up your vitality for even the most draining social interactions?

 

Imagine Who You Want to Be

 

If you want to have high energy during social interaction, you first need to picture yourself as someone who has this kind of energy. What does it look like? What kind of gestures would you use when speaking? What tone of voice do you use? Do you laugh or smile often? If you can picture the person you want to become, it's much easier to become that person. This might seem like a form of acting, and at first, it might well be, but the more you do it, the more authentic this high-energy version of yourself will become. 

 

Try Being Someone Else

 

Who do you admire who has a lot of energy? This might be an actor or celebrity, or it might be your own best friend. When interacting socially, start asking yourself how this other individual would likely act in the same situation. Do what they do. Again, mimicking high energy has a funny way of becoming high energy.

 

Try Some Coffee

 

This one won't work for everyone, but coffee is a great stimulant. If you know you're going to be needing a lot of energy for an upcoming social situation, why not have a cup of coffee beforehand? You might need to experiment with this slightly to figure out how much coffee gives you an optimal amount of energy without leaving you jittery. 

 

Look Around

 

When attention lags, it's natural to come off as being more low energy. By remaining interested in your surroundings and especially in the people around you, you naturally maintain a higher level of energy. Start taking note of details. This has the added benefit of giving you things to talk about. 

 

Deal with Stress

 

if the energy drains right out of you in social situations, chances are it's because you're stressed. Any time you're experiencing anxiety, your body takes more energy to get through simple tasks. With this in mind, the best way to get more energy for social situations is the deal with the root of the anxiety you're feeling when being social. This might mean dealing with some baggage. It's worth it in the end, though. 

 


How to Make Networking Events Less Stressful


How many people do you know who actually enjoy networking? If you’re like most people, you find it awkward or uncomfortable, and if you’re an introvert, it might even feel excruciating. 

 

But you know that effective networking is crucial for your career, whether you’re looking for a new job, a promotion, or to build your business. Excellent networking skills are essential if you want to get ahead. So how can you make it less stressful? Try these tips to get more out of your network, and maybe you’ll even enjoy it!

 

Do your homework

 

You wouldn’t dream of going to a job interview or an important meeting without preparing, would you? Treat networking events the same. Find out as much as you can about the event, who’s organizing it, and who will be there. Study the sponsor’s website and arm yourself with knowledge, so you have two or three topics of conversation to help break the ice and start connecting with other participants. 

 

Find yourself a role

 

If it’s appropriate, see if there’s any way you can volunteer to help out. If you have some official position, you have a ready-made pretext to connect with people. Make sure to check in with the organizers first, but maybe they could do with some extra people to staff the registration desk or set out welcome packs. Perhaps you could offer to take event photos or live Tweet. At question time, you could help pass the microphone.

 

Take a friend

 

Who says you have to go to networking events alone? It will feel much better if you invite a friend or colleague to share the learnings. Not only will you feel braver about connecting, but you’ll also likely look more approachable than if you’re standing alone radiating anxiety.  

 

Find the key networker

 

You can take the stress off yourself by looking around to find the extrovert, the natural networker who knows everyone. In any big group, there will always be one or two people who are enjoying connecting with people. Find that person and benefit from their positive networking. Follow in their wake, and you will find it much easier to join in the conversation. 

 

Turn it into a game

 

Try taking the heat off yourself by turning networking into a game. Before you go, make yourself a list or even a bingo card of things you want to achieve. Your networking goals can include things like connecting with two people, handing your business card to five people, connecting on LinkedIn to three people. 



Saturday, 25 June 2022

7 Tips for Restoring Your Self-Worth After a Toxic Relationship


Well, that didn’t go right.

 

We walk into a relationship with so much enthusiasm. We think what we’ve found is the best thing in the world, which is a heady feeling for while it lasts. Sadly, when a relationship is toxic, we’re frequently the last to know. By the time we escape, our self-worth has already taken a hefty blow. 

 

So, how do you restore positive feelings about yourself after a toxic relationship?

 

Release Your Victimhood

 

The more you focus on what happened, the more you get stuck, so the sooner you can quit revisiting the past and dwelling on perceptions of ill treatment, the sooner you’re going to put all this behind you. This doesn’t mean to say this was your fault, but obsessing about the ‘shoulds’ and going back over every encounter is only going to hurt you regardless of whether you were in the right or not.

 

Drop the Blame

 

Was it your fault? Not. The sooner you can let go of any residual guilt or bad feelings about the relationship, the happier you’ll be. The next step should help.

 

Silence Their Voice 

 

The problem with toxic relationships is you tend to believe what the other person said about you, no matter how outlandish it seemed at the time. Now their voice is there, lurking in your head to remind you of all your so-called shortcomings at every opportunity—time to tell them to shut up once and for all.

 

Embrace the New You

 

Find joy in being single. Spoil yourself. Do that thing you always wanted to do. Take lessons, build your skill set as you build yourself up. Become your own best friend in a way that doesn’t require validation from any outside source.

 

Believe Your Friends 

 

You hear the compliments, but they’re going in one ear and out the other. Rather than brush off the nice things, people around you are saying, start listening. Listening until these words become a part of who you are.

 

Create Goals You Love

 

What would you like to do with your life? Too often, our goals reflect the needs and desires around us. Now is the time to reverse this. Accepting you are capable, and your goals are worth fighting for, what do YOU want to do? 

 

Affirmations

 

Work through the worst offenders of negative self-talk through positive affirmations. Take note of what you’re telling yourself. Rewrite the script and turn these statements around into affirmations that you read to yourself every day.

 

Remember, this is a process and is likely to take time. By reminding yourself of just how amazing you are, and focusing hard on these steps, eventually, you will start feeling the difference even if you don’t see it yet. Hang in there!