5 Types of Negative Self-Talk and How to Stop Them

We like to think we’re optimistic, positive people. After all, no one wants to be considered a grump. Besides, isn’t that what we’re taught from the time we’re children, to smile and think the best of those around us?

 

In truth, we don’t always quite hit the mark. We might mean to be positive, but those negative thoughts have a way of creeping in, especially if we’re tired or anxious. Strong emotion has a way of derailing us, as do the negative influences around us. In short, we’re constantly being broadsided by negativity, and we can’t help but respond in kind. 

 

How do we learn to recognize when our self-talk is turning negative and stop it before it gains a foothold in our lives? We start by learning how to identify the most common culprits.

 

Black and White Thinking

 

The minute you start using ‘all’ or ‘nothing’ statements you’re already falling into a negativity mindset. When this comes up, the best thing to do is to remind yourself the world doesn’t really work that way. In fact, there are more shades of grey than you might think.

 

Tunnel Vision

 

When you can only see the bad in everything, it’s no wonder you can feel lost in a sea of despair and negative self-talk. Here you see the world as only negative and seek out proof by pointing out every flaw or failure. This is defeated by rewording the statements as they come up. Look for the positive spin you can put on things. 

 

The Disaster Plan

 

When you can only see the negative outcome in everything. For this, accept that sometimes, failure happens. You can even use dire predictions to work out a ‘plan B’ in case you need one, but also remember to remind yourself there’s also a chance of success in what you try. There’s no reason to assume the worst.

 

Anticipation

 

In this, you assume you know what someone else is thinking, and it’s never good. To combat it? Try having an honest conversation with the person instead. Let them speak for themselves. They might even surprise you. Again, quit assuming the worst.

 

The Guilty Conscience

 

You messed up. Once. A long time ago. It’s time to let it go. For some people, their brains are expert at bringing up the past, regardless of how much time has passed or what you’ve done to correct the mistake. Here you need to remind yourself of the lessons you’ve learned. Remember, the past is in the past. Look forward, seeing the possibilities. Let go of the rest.

 

The world really is a more wonderful place than you might have realized. When you let go of negative self-talk, you’re giving yourself the ability to try out a new frame of mind and see just how good things can be. Embrace positivity. Discover what the world has to offer!

 

4 Steps to Creating Affirmations that Work for You

You've probably heard about the Law of Attraction, and how powerful affirmations can be to help you get what you want out of life. When you focus on positive thoughts, you can turn around negative beliefs, feelings, and attitudes that have been stopping you from living your best life.  

 

Affirmations are so powerful that it's essential that you get them right. But shaping the right affirmations for you and your situation is not always easy. Here are four steps you can follow to make sure that your affirmations fit you like a glove. 

 

1. Take That Negativity Bull By the Horns

 

Now is the time to identify and confront those negative beliefs that are holding you back. What are the messages that have stuck with you since childhood? Some of the most common ones are that you're not smart enough, or you've never been good at math/writing/public speaking/standing up for yourself. Or the sucker-punch of 'I always mess things up.' These beliefs make you feel bad, and it's time to look them in the eye and tell them to take a hike. 

 

2. Write Down Your Set of Negativity Beliefs

 

Once you have worked out your negative mindset script, be brave, and write them all down, even the ones that make you squirm. Writing them down gets them out of your head and into the cold light of day. 

 

This may not feel good, but it will feel so much better when those words are out of your head. Keep going even if it hurts! Now you're ready for the fun part.

 

3. Make Your List of Opposites

 

This step will feel a whole lot better. Take each negative belief and write down the opposite belief in the second column of your paper. And make sure that you make it a positive statement. Do not write "I am not good at math'; instead, frame it as a positive "I can do math,' or whatever positive statement works for you. If this feels too hard, you can start with something softer like 'I am open to being good at math." 

 

Make your positive statement as strong as possible. 

 

4. Rinse and Repeat

 

The power of affirmations is becoming embedded deep in your mind. And the best way to do that is to repeat them over every day until your affirmations become part of your mindset. 

 

Say them out loud in front of a mirror every day. Make it part of your routine, like brushing your teeth. Soon those affirmations will be beliefs that build you up. 

 

How Aspirations Change Over Time

What are your lifelong achievement goals? What did you dream of as a child? Has that changed? Aspirations are those dreams that we conjure up throughout our lives. As children, it may have been a career goal of becoming a fireman, a ballerina, or the President. Then, we age and gain new responsibilities. 

 

Our perspectives change, making new things take on more importance. Aspirations are not a one-and-done kind of dream. They evolve as you grow, and life throws some spitballs your way. Understanding how your long-term plans will change helps you understand that you are not failing if life takes a detour. 

 

The 4 Stages of Aspirations

 

Life seems to run in stages – so do aspirations. Typically, you may find yourself in any one of these stages throughout your life:

 

1. Unadulterated Optimism

 

This stage is more common in our youth when we don’t have the same fears and responsibilities as our older years. This is the stage to identify your weaknesses and build your knowledge and skills. You create a better opportunity for success when you are aware of what you don’t know, and you work to grow in wisdom. Since we don’t know any better, we can dream freely and pursue our dreams.

 

2. Worldly Reality

 

Life does happen, and we get burdened with responsibilities. We start jobs, buy houses, and have families. This is part of life. Your aspirations will seem like they die at this stage, but they don’t. Instead, they are weighed down and go into hiding. You may find that you struggle to find a work-life balance so that you can continue working toward your dreams.

 

3. Renewed Dreaming

 

As time goes by, our responsibilities lighten or shift, and we find ourselves willing to dream again. For some, this may result in a mid-life crisis. It is easy to become distracted. For all of us, it is the time to take a renewed look at our dreams and how we can refocus and refresh our outlook. Often, the result is a firm footing and a renewed perspective on what we want to do with our lives.

 

4. Realignment and New Momentum

 

After renewing our aspirations and shifting as needed, we get the desire to jump in with a sense of purpose. We may feel young again, and others will notice a bounce in our step. Our fears are lessened like in our youth, and the momentum builds to accomplish our hopes and dreams.

 

Aspirations take a lifetime to accomplish, and you will go through many stages. Understanding those stages makes sense of what is happening and adjusting to achieve your dreams.

 

6 Quotes to Inspire Your Morning Routine

You've probably toyed with the idea already. You've heard there are better ways to start your day and even considered how you might become more intentional in your mornings. At the same time, a morning routine can seem a challenging thing. You might not know where to begin.

 

If this is the case, take heart. Sometimes the best advice comes from people who have already mastered the skill you’re trying to learn. In this case, let’s look at what some people have to say who really know how to make the most of their day.

 

“The best way to make your dreams come true is to wake up.”

 

Paul Valery recognized he wouldn’t get anything done by lying around in bed all day. You need to wake up and get moving to make things happen. Embrace his attitude by rising with your alarm instead of hitting the snooze in the morning.

 

“Just one small positive thought in the morning can change your whole day.”

 

The Dalai Lama knows a great deal about having the right mindset. To create positive energy which will follow you throughout the day, start with a positive thought from the moment you wake up.

 

“An early morning walk is a blessing for the whole day.”

 

Even back in the early 1800s, Henry David Thoreau knew the value of exercise as being part of your daily routine. By making something so simple as a walk part of the first part of the day, you too can reap the benefits of early morning exercise.

 

“My future starts when I wake up every morning.”

 

Famous Jazz Musician, Miles Davis, realized the value of a fresh and positive start to every day. You can also embrace this attitude by reminding yourself from the moment you wake up just what you’re striving for and why this is important.

 

“To me, breakfast is my most important meal…It’s the fuel you use to hopefully do your best.”

 

Former NFL quarterback Andrew Luck knew he couldn't play football if he didn't first give his body something to fight with. Neither will you get through your day if you don't stop to give yourself the right food first thing in the morning.

 

"Every day, each of us sets the stage for our sentiment, confidence, and success by getting dressed. When you feel great and feel your best, it opens up a world of possibility. Feeling confident and self-assured are important inputs into good days, successful days, and happy days."

 

CEO Katrina Lake understands the importance of putting on the right clothes in the morning to set the tone for the entire day. You can't just wear any old thing if you're hunting success! (Pro Tip: Lay out your clothes the night before to add intentionality to your day.

 

5 Secrets To Self-Motivation

Why is it that motivating others is easy, but we struggle to motivate ourselves? There’s always another task that needs to be done, another deadline that needs to be met.

 

Yet, we need to learn how to take the time to show ourselves that we’re strong and hard-working. One of the secrets of self-motivation is to get our internal gears turning the right way so that we recognize our worth and value.

 

Everyone has goals they’re working towards. Yet, the degree of self-motivation we allow ourselves determines how hard we’re willing to work to achieve the desired result.

 

So, in a nutshell, with self-motivation, anything is possible. But, on the other hand, if it’s lacking in someone’s life, then life goals become of little significance.

 

To always encourage yourself to do better and be better, you need to show yourself kindness and motivation. Without them, you’ll achieve very little in life. To help you get inspired, we rounded up the five secrets to self-motivation.

 

Be Confident

 

“You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.” - A. A. Milne

 

Having the confidence to stand up for your beliefs and dreams is one of the most critical aspects of self-motivation. Yet, it can get difficult mustering up confidence when your brain is wired to shy away from a challenge.

 

To rewire your thoughts and build up your confidence, get a pen and paper. First, write down 3–4 of your achievements just to remind yourself of how much potential you have.

Then, make a habit of writing one thing you achieved each day. Little by little, that page will turn into two, then five, then a dozen—all the while creating a momentum that feeds on your self-confidence and assurance.

 

Track Your Progress

 

“Talk to yourself about your successes; be sure you’re recognizing your own accomplishments, no matter how small they may be.” - Rhett Power

 

Now that you’ve started writing down your daily achievements, even if it’s just watering the plants, it’s important to keep track of how far you’ve come.

 

You can use something as simple as a to-do list where you cross each task as you get each one done. Or, if you want to be more general, just cross off the whole day.

 

There are also numerous apps and software tools that help you create a personalized digital task board. This makes it easier to customize goals on a smaller scale, as well as all the way to the more time-consuming monthly and yearly goals.

 

As a result, you hold yourself accountable. Plus, you wake up each day knowing exactly what you’re supposed to do, giving your life purpose and meaning.

 

Maintain A Positive Outlook

 

“There’s a direct correlation between positive energy and positive results.” - Joe Rogan

 

Maintaining a positive mindset can go a long way in boosting your self-motivation. It’s also a great tool to have when things don’t go as planned. That’s when having that positive outlook can help you see things from a different perspective.

 

When your brain expects positive results, your choices will be geared towards the more positive. You’ll also be less likely to blame others for the unexpected things that pop up in your life.

 

To do this, you need to be aware of your negative thought patterns. Then, each time you feel some negative thoughts starting to pop up, replace them with positive ones immediately.

 

Another way to achieve this is by repeating positive affirmations in the morning to boost your motivation and confidence as you start your day.

 

Set Realistic Goals

 

“It must be borne in mind that the tragedy of life doesn’t lie in not reaching your goal. The tragedy lies in having no goals to reach.” - Benjamin E. Mays

 

Goals give your life a sense of direction, like a promise you make to yourself, then do your best to keep it.

 

For example, it could be something as simple as cutting back on sugar for a whole week. Or, maybe something a bit more consuming, like working out each day for a month.

 

Whether it’s work, family, or something personal, the best way to set goals is to break them up into measurable tasks. This can be monthly, weekly, daily, or even by the hour—whatever works for you.

 

Another tip is to make the goal just challenging enough to pique your interest. Yet, it shouldn’t be too complex that you give up easily.

 

Surround Yourself With Supportive People

 

“Surround yourself with only people who are going to lift you higher.” - Oprah Winfrey

 

Having positive people who help you achieve your potential is a great way to increase your self-esteem. In return, this gives your internal motivation a nice boost.

 

They’re also great for holding you accountable. They keep you pushing forward even when you don’t feel like getting out of bed.

 

The best thing is that it works both ways, which only works to strengthen your relationship. Plus, no one wants to let down that person who’s always there for them through the good days and the bad.

 

The Art Of Patience

The Dictionary defines patience as, “the capacity to accept or tolerate delay, trouble, or suffering without getting angry or upset. “

 

Patience is a skill that many of us could learn how to master better. We may get short with our kids, have some road rage, or struggle with other issues that make us stamp our feet or get frustrated over the little things. Learning the art of patience can facilitate more success, healthier relationships with others and yourself, improve wellbeing and much more. 

 

What is Patience?

 

"One minute of patience, ten years of peace" - Greek Proverb 

 

First, we need to take a closer look at patience and what it means. Patience is a state that occurs between an experience that you have and your reaction. Whether you want to be patient with yourself, with those around you, or with life, patience always seems to be how you deal with obstacles or delays in life. 

 

Those with patience will find that they can let go of some of the things that occur to them that are outside their control. This can be hard for some people to do. But when you are successful, it can help you to live a happier life because you have less frustration, anxiety, and stress. 

 

What are the Benefits of Patience?

 

Several benefits come with having more patience during our lives according to Medium.com. Some of these benefits include:

 

• You avoid health issues: Having patience can put us at a lower risk of heart conditions, anxiety, and depression. The reason for this is that we feel less stressed when we are more patient. 

• You make better decisions: You won’t rush into something because you are worried about it taking too long. You can slow down and make a smart decision. 

• It is easier to be happy: Patience allows us to feel happier. When we have less stress and anxiety, we can feel more tranquil and better overall. 

• You find life is easier: Your journey in life is easier if you can reduce the stress and just be patient in life. 

 

Everyone can work on their patience, bringing in more and helping them feel less stressed and happier. Finding the right tips to add to your life to have more patience is the key to making that happen. 

 

How to Become More Patient

 

Now it is time to look at some of the steps that you need to take to be more patient in your daily life. Some of the best steps to help with this include:

 

• Be mindful of your thoughts: While a situation can make you frustrated, you get to determine how you react to it. You can secure your thought before it becomes an action and turn it into something more peaceful too. 

• Figure out what makes you impatient: You need to learn more about your triggers and what makes you impatient overall. When you learn what these triggers are, you will be able to avoid them or find methods better deal with those things. 

• Show gratitude: When you show more gratitude in your daily life, you will be happier and won’t have impatience take over your life any longer. 

• Set short-term goals: Setting goals and celebrating your achievements will give you something amazing to look forward to and can help out. 

• Make yourself wait: When you make yourself wait and think through something, you will find that it is easier for you to learn patience too. This can be hard but is still very good for helping you slow down. 

 

Being patient is a skill that takes time. While it would be nice to wake up one day and have a ton of patience, this is not always possible. By following some of the tips above, you can add more patience to your life, along with more happiness. 

 

5 Powerhouse Tips for Using Positive Affirmations

You’ve probably heard that affirmations can help you be more motivated and successful in meeting your goals. But did you know that there are some ways you can supercharge your affirmations to make them even more powerful, even transformative? 

 

Say you want to lose weight and get fit. If your affirmation is “I will lose weight and go to the gym every day,” how does that make you feel? There’s a heaviness in the energy of that statement that’s not very motivating. It focuses on the negative aspects of your goal (the need to lose weight and the obligation to go to the gym) and pushes the goal out into an indefinite future. 

 

You can use these five steps to turn your affirmations around and make them high energy and motivating. 

 

1. Make your affirmations active

 

Using active verbs keeps the energy upbeat and your focus in the present moment. So now your affirmation starts “I am [positive verb] …”

 

2. Include Positive Emotions

 

Think of how you want to feel when you reach your goal. Are you happy? Proud of yourself? Relaxed? Grateful? Make sure your affirmation makes you feel good when you say it out loud. 

 

3. Keep it Short

 

Make your affirmations brief and memorable. Concise, focused statements are easier to remember. 

 

4. Stay in the Present

 

Your affirmation should always be in the present tense. Make sure you use “I am” rather than “I will” statements. 

 

5. Keep it Positive

 

Focus on what you want, not what you don’t want. Think of the positive result you want to achieve. 

 

6. Switch up Your Affirmations

 

Have a look at your current affirmations and see if they are working as well as they could be. In the example above, you could refurbish it into something genuinely motivational. 

 

Instead of “I will lose weight and go to the gym every day,” let’s make it something that will make you feel good. 

 

“I am enjoying getting slimmer and fitter every day.”

 

“I am feeling stronger and healthier by choosing a healthier lifestyle.” 

 

“I am joyfully and easily helping my body to get stronger and slimmer every day.”

 

Play around with the words until they feel right for you. Just keep your affirmation in the present, focused on what you want and what feels good. 

 

Repeat your affirmations at least three times a day and look forward to manifesting the life you want. 

 

What are Positive Affirmations?

You’ve probably seen positive affirmations across social media, posters, and cards. They’re all over Facebook and Instagram, and they can seem a little cheesy sometimes. But did you know that positive affirmations can actually be powerful tools for change? 

What are Affirmations? And How do They Work?

 

Simply put, affirmations are anything you say or think. They make up a large part of the mind-talk that everyone has running in their heads all the time. We all use affirmations, though we don’t do it consciously. This allows our default, negative thoughts to run our lives. 

 

Think about the messages that are part of your regular self-talk. Do you have kind, positive, encouraging self-talk, or does your Inner Critic dominate with harsh words of criticism? Many of your messages will have been seeded during your childhood. Were you encouraged and supported to give it your best shot, or were you told you were lazy, or no good? Those messages are still affecting your current mindset. 

 

Whether you have a positive or a negative script running through your mind, those thoughts and beliefs shape your reality. Negative thoughts feed self-doubt and discourage you from trying to reach your full potential. If you believe you’re no good at giving presentations, you’re not going to feel confident enough to give it your all. 

Change up Your Self-Talk

 

The good news is that you can change your self-talk by choosing to use positive affirmations to rewire your brain to have a positive mindset. 

 

The process is pretty straightforward if you stick to some basic rules: 

 

• Always use the present tense. Your brain reacts in the moment, so make that moment as positive as you can. 

• Keep it positive and simple. Saying short, positive phrases like ‘I am calm’ is much more effective than telling yourself, “I mustn’t get upset.’

• Use repetition. If you repeat your affirmations regularly and consistently, you will strengthen those neural pathways in the brain. Your habitual patterns of thought and belief will become more positive. Try to repeat your chosen affirmations three times a day for at least five minutes. 

Choose to Change your Life

 

You have the power to choose your life experience. Whatever you tell yourself affirms that you want to have more of it in your life. So, if you’re angry or resentful, you’re setting yourself up for more of that in your life. If you’re confident and hopeful, if you expect things to go well, then that’s precisely what will happen. 

 

You can choose to feel good and positive about your life. Using conscious affirmations is a great way to start making those positive changes today. 

5 Ways To Endure Difficult Times

No one’s life is easy–no one! It’s true that some people seem to have it easier than others. Yet, you can bet they’re suffering from one thing or another.

 

That’s why we should all try to refrain from imposing our personal views or jumping to conclusions. Instead, why not try to be more civil towards one another and show some empathy?

 

We could all use a bit more positivity in our day, don’t you think? Even the simple act of smiling as you pass someone by can brighten up their day. That’s how closely we’re all connected!

 

While we’re at it, we should mention that smiling is one of the best ways to endure difficult times. So, if you’re interested in finding out more ways to help you get through the tough times in your life, you’ve come to the right place!

 

Let’s get started.

 

Be Patient

 

Our brains are hardwired to protect against all foreign and domestic threats. So, they tend to stretch out adverse events in our lives to make you think it’s been happening for a long time.

 

Yet, the worst part is that you start believing that the bad times will never go on forever. You feel like there’s no end in sight, and you’re doomed to lead a tragic life.

 

Don’t believe it.

 

One of the constants in life is change. So, whatever you’re going through—good or bad—will end eventually.

 

There will be situations that will call on you to act and help bring the problem to an end. With others, on the other hand, you simply need to wait out the storm and have faith in yourself. 

 

Embrace Your Weaknesses

 

Each of us has our own individualized set of strengths and weaknesses, attributes and flaws. The problem is that when things get tough, we only focus on how weak and helpless we feel.

 

We lose sight of our strengths and trick ourselves into highlighting our flaws. This makes us feel like losers incapable of rising above any challenging situations.

 

The key to avoiding this pit of self-doubt is to never compare yourself with anyone else. Then, remind yourself of all your strengths.

 

You can even make a list of all the good things you’re good at and hang it up. Make sure you place it somewhere you pass by frequently. It’s a great trick that will help shift your perception from feeling weak and vulnerable to feeling empowered and confident.

 

Be Proud of How Far You’ve Come

 

You can’t have made it this far in life without having been in one or two bad situations before. So, whenever you need a bit of a boost during tough times, just remind yourself of similar situations you’ve endured in the past.

 

You probably either overcame the situation or didn’t. Either way, you came out having learned something and gained life experience.

 

It’s a great confidence booster to remember how well you managed to navigate difficult times and handle challenges with ease. It’ll also help shift your attitude from a sense of helplessness to feeling motivated to take action and do what needs to get done.

 

Practice Gratitude

 

We started the article by saying that everyone goes through hard times in their life. That’s a given. But the difference between those who land on their feet and those who live a life of gloom is gratitude.

 

No matter how difficult things might be right now, there will always be a dozen other things going well in your life.

 

Is your relationship on the rocks? Be happy that you have a steady job, have a roof over your head, and can put food on the table.

 

Are you having problems at work? Be thankful for your health, family, and friends.

Then, there are all the little things we tend to take for granted, like beautiful sunsets, relaxing walks in the park, and delicious coffee. Change your perspective, and you’ll realize that things aren’t really that bad after all.

 

Learn from Your Experiences

 

Life coaches, psychologists, and therapists all agree that there's no failure when it comes to personal development. There’s only your interpretation of the events and how you react to them.

 

Sounds simple enough, right? Yes! But as soon as you’re faced with a problem, all that wisdom flies out of the window.

 

This comes from years of being programmed that failure is a big flashing bulb telling us we’re not doing something right, causing us to steer off course. But that couldn’t be farther from the truth. In fact, everything we now do so well came from a trial-and-error process, like walking, typing, and driving.

 

What you should do is try to figure out why this is happening. Then, use this experience to learn more about likes and dislikes, weaknesses and strengths. Eventually, you’ll be able to turn things around.