5 Benefits to Life without Validation

How would you like more time in the day? 

 

If you're looking to get things done and free up more time for the fun stuff in life, then all you need to do is make one simple change in your life: let go of your need for validation.

 

Validation costs us all time and energy. Even now, think back over your day. How many times were you concerned about how someone else thought about you? How did this affect your actions? Let’s face it, we put a lot of effort into fitting in, being liked, and trying to make a good impression.

 

Now imagine what happens when you accept you're pretty fantastic already and don't need others to tell you so. What if you could just be yourself and not worry about the rest? Consider these benefits to life without validation:

 

You Don’t Have to Jump Through Hoops

 

How often have you contorted your thoughts, beliefs, ideas, and opinions to fit better with those around you, all just so others would think well of you? When you stop searching for validation, you can relax and be who you are.

 

You’re No Longer Fenced In

 

When you’re looking for validation from others, there are certain invisible boundaries we have to maintain. For example, we might find ourselves holding back from forming real friendships at work because we’re too busy trying to impress those around us. 

 

You Don’t Have to Rehearse Your Life

 

No more running lines of dialogue through your head to test it out before saying it! Imagine if you can just act naturally and even react naturally without having to ask yourself if you’re being too over-the-top. 

 

You Don’t Have to Play a Part

 

Too often, when we're looking for people to notice us, we wear a mask that we hide behind so no one can ever see our real selves. We try to be more put together, look like we're accomplishing more, and never mess up. These false personas can feel pretty oppressive, especially when things aren't going as well as you make them out to be. Rather than fake success, wouldn't it be nice to be your real self, as messy as it is sometimes?

 

You Don’t Have to Do Other People’s Work

 

How often have you said ‘yes’ to doing a favor for someone else because you were worried they wouldn’t like you or think well of you if you said ‘no’? Now imagine how much nicer it would be to pick and choose what you want to do instead.

 

Dropping the need for validation certainly changes things, doesn't it? So, consider these things the next time you think about fishing for a compliment or putting yourself out there to get attention. Try doing things your way instead and enjoy what happens next!

4 Ways to Let Go of Your Need to be Validated Once and For All

How sure are you of yourself?

 

It’s hard to feel confident all the time. Sometimes you really just need to know you're doing okay. Everything will be all right. However, reassuring yourself can be hard, especially when considering past history, which might have left behind unpleasant baggage. Isn't it just a whole lot easier to find validation from someone else?

 

Sure, you can. Validation is a fairly simple fix. Most people don’t mind handing out a compliment or two, especially if they know and like you already. The problem is this kind of validation is rarely satisfying. The effects never last near long enough. 

 

With this in mind, maybe it’s time to let go of validation once and for all. Instead, try embracing just how wonderful you are through these simple techniques:

 

Understand Your True Need

 

Just what are you really seeking out right now? For example, while you might be looking for a compliment on your new haircut, what you're really wanting to know is if you're attractive. Perhaps you're even hoping to catch the eye of someone special. 

 

Delve deep and ask the hard questions about what's behind your current need. Once you know this, see if you can discover a more satisfying solution to the problem. In this example, it might be better to remind yourself of what you like about yourself and what makes you outstanding already.

 

Step Back from Quicksand Be True to Yourself

 

The minute you start trying to please those around you to be liked, you're stepping into a miry wasteland. You'll soon discover you can never impress someone just once. You’ll always be trying to outdo yourself. Recognize when you’re falling into this trap and remind yourself it’s better to be liked for who you are, not how well you can fit someone else’s ridiculous standards.

 

Be True to Yourself

 

Being agreeable to what other people have to say is not only another way to be liked. It also compromises what you believe in. Take a pause now before speaking. Consider what you were about to say. Was this you talking or them? You might want to reconsider your words. It is better to be honest about how you feel, or if need be, stay silent rather than compromise your ideals.

 

Show Your Individuality

 

Finally, just be you. Speak your mind, be authentic, and step out in confidence. Quit second-guessing yourself and instead live harmoniously with your own beliefs. 

 

Remember: never compromise who you are for the sake of flattery or acceptance. Instead, look to yourself and see instead just how wonderful you already are.

5 Positive Traits You Develop When You Stop Seeking Validation

How would you like to be a better person?

 

If you spend time reading self-help articles, you probably think most change comes from doing something new. Today you’re going to try something different. Rather than starting a whole new regimen or adopting a new behavior, you’re going to develop five positive traits all by stopping something you’ve been doing all your life.

 

From the time we’re small, we learn validation feels good. We seek it out, looking for understanding, acceptance, and inner peace. We don't realize just how much this constant search for positive attention is holding us back. Consider these five things which happen when you stop looking outside yourself for validation:

 

You See a More Diverse World

 

Consider this: everyone really doesn’t have to agree with each other after all. Instead of seeking validation by going along with what those around you are thinking or doing, maybe you can set a new trend by expressing who you are. Encourage those around you to likewise speak up and be their own people. Imagine how much nicer the world would be if we all could do this!

 

You’re More Certain of Things

 

When we rely on other people to tell us if we’re doing things right or not, we can get mixed messages. Someone likes our work, while someone else might not. Now imagine this: if validation doesn’t matter, you know the only opinion which truly matters is yours. This certainly clears out the confusion!

 

You Take Better Care of Yourself

 

It's hard to put forward your needs when you're too busy seeing to the needs of others or rushing about trying to appease those around you. These are the traits that lead to overwork and exhaustion. When you quit seeking validation, you can step back when you need to and get proper rest. You'll also find it easier to express when you need a break or to get something to eat.

 

You Become a Calmer Person

 

There's certainly a lot less stress if you don't have to impress everyone around you all the time. With all the pressure off, you can relax into just being yourself.

 

You Exude Confidence

 

Finally, you don't need anyone else to inform you of your worth when you drop validation. You already know how amazing you are. When you carry this knowledge with you, you can't help but walk a little taller. This is you at your best, and the world knows it.

3 Tips for Better Grounding to Reduce Anxiety

Were you ever grounded as a child? This is a form of punishment. If you somehow ran afoul of your parents’ rules, they would ground you to your room or some other specific space. The idea is that you can't leave that space for a certain amount of time.

 

Grounded children learn to make the best out of a bad situation. They look around their punishment environment to find something in this confined area that will distract them. They engage their senses with what they have access to rather than thinking about things they aren't able to do (play with their friends, watch television, ride their bicycle).

 

If you need to deal with anxiety, you can ground yourself as an adult.

 

This form of therapeutic grounding is similar to your punishment as a child. You limit your sensory involvement to the immediate area. This involves attaching yourself to the "right now" moment and your current physical space. Here are three tips that will help you get more anxiety relief from grounding.

 

1. Practice Makes Perfect

 

The human brain is an amazing computer. You can program it to do so many things. Many of your skills and abilities were developed thanks to you repeatedly practicing them.

 

Practice grounding, and you will get better at it over time. This is because your mind recognizes things you do repeatedly. It assumes that if you consciously repeat certain behaviors, they must benefit you, or you wouldn't do them.

 

Where grounding is concerned, practice is powerful. 

 

Calm yourself and engage your senses. What do you see, smell, hear, touch, and taste right now? Ground yourself in the present moment only. Take your focus away from what's causing your anxiety. Place it in your immediate environment. The more you practice this, the better you'll get at removing your focus from what's making you anxious.

 

2. Build a Support Network

 

The people you care about can help you with this process. Teach them what grounding does for you and why you use it; to relieve anxiety. Enlisting help this way can be wonderful because sometimes anxiety might be sneaking up on you without you recognizing it. A friend may be able to tell you that you might benefit from some grounding if they see warning signs of anxiety.

 

They may say, "Are you feeling anxious? Let's do some grounding. What color is the shirt I'm wearing? How does your clothing feel on you? What do you smell right now? What sounds are you hearing?"

 

3. Open Your Eyes

 

Anxiety involves worrying and obsessing over some real or perceived thought or experience. It's usually not something that's going on in your current moment. This is why you want to keep your eyes open and focus on the physically present things around you right now.

 

If you close your eyes, you limit your sensory input dramatically. This can allow your mind to wander to those anxious feelings and experiences. Open your eyes for a better grounding experience and let them take in all the visual input in your immediate environment.

 

Using your senses to ground you in reality can calm an anxious mind. These three tips help improve your grounding so you enjoy less stress and anxiety.

What's the Difference Between Anxiety and Stress?

If someone is experiencing anxiety, it might be because they are stressed out about something. If you are stressing over something worrying you, it's safe to say you are anxious. In other words, anxiety and stress are very closely related. As a matter of fact, they create similar symptoms.

 

The Symptoms of Stress

 

• Anger
• Difficulty sleeping
• Irritability
• Fatigue
• Muscular pain
• Digestive issues

 

The Symptoms of Anxiety

 

• It's hard to focus and concentrate
• Fatigue
• Rapid breathing
• Muscular pain and tension
• Increased heart rate
• Irritability

 

Stress and anxiety are both emotional responses. They're how a person deals with what's happening around their thoughts. Usually, stress is caused by some external factor.

 

Maybe you're arguing with a friend. Something happened, and the two of you are at odds. You both care for each other, so this is very stressful. In these short-term situations, reconciliation can end the stress.

 

Some stress is long-term. If a person suffers from a chronic disease, their physical health problems can lead to mental stress that might be experienced daily. In this case, some outside source has triggered the stress response, as with most other issues where stress is experienced.

 

How Anxiety Is Different from Stress

 

We mentioned earlier that anxiety can be a response to a stressful situation. If you and your friend have a serious argument, that can cause a lot of anxiety. Anxiety differs from stress because it usually doesn't go away when the stressor is removed.

 

It's a worry taken to the extreme. This is often worrying about things that aren't actually troublesome. The person experiencing anxiety perceives some issue that really isn't there. Whereas stress is often fleeting, anxiety is commonly persistent.

 

Treating Mild Anxiety 

 

If your anxiety doesn't threaten to keep you from dealing with your daily responsibilities, it can respond to simple treatment. Being physically active is often enough to trigger a feel-good chemical response that helps you overcome mild anxiety.

 

Regularly getting plenty of restful sleep, enjoying a healthy, nutritious diet, and discussing your problems with loved ones are other coping mechanisms that defeat short-term or mild anxiety.

 

If you are regularly anxious and these treatments don't help, consult a mental health professional. When your anxiety affects your normal daily functioning, it threatens your quality of life and can lead to serious mental and physical health problems if not treated promptly.

The 4 A's of Stress Relief Can Help Reduce Feelings of Anxiety

A little anxiety from time to time is normal. You are running late to work. Your boss has already talked with you about showing up on time. You haven't been the most punctual employee in the past, and here you are, running late again. It's a common reaction to get anxious about this situation.

 

Did you let the cat out before you left home this morning? Are you going to make the right impression on a first date? This is the first time you are giving a presentation at work, and the company owner will be in attendance with several other company bigwigs. Are you properly prepared for this experience that can make or break your career?

 

These are examples of normally tense situations. Even though they aren't as unhealthy as chronic anxiety, you'd still like to avoid them. To get the upper hand on anxious feelings, whether regular or infrequent, put the four A's of stress relief to work.

 

1. Avoid
2. Alter
3. Accept
4. Adapt

 

Avoid

 

Extreme cases of anxiety may not be influenced by your surroundings or the people you deal with. The constant worry and obsession over something happens regardless of where and who you are with. In many cases, though, feelings of anxiety can be reduced or overcome entirely by avoiding the people, places, and things that are causing them.

 

This might only apply when you can control your surroundings and who you spend your time with. If you can, avoid people that make you anxious. Control your surroundings, your environment. Avoid taking on lots of unnecessary responsibilities that can ramp up your anxiety. Steer clear of things you know are likely to make you anxious.

 

Alter

 

This stress reduction practice is empowering. You take action. Look at what's happening around you and attempt to change the environment or situation to create more positive feelings.

 

You may ask others to engage in some different type of behavior. Speak about your feelings and why you hope things can be altered to address those feelings. Changing how you manage your time is a simple way to avoid a lot of unnecessary anxiety. If you can change or alter stressors making you feel anxious, do so.

 

Accept

 

Acceptance is an anxiety killer. You realize you can't avoid or alter a situation that worries you. If you can accept that most of life will be out of your control, this acceptance can replace anxiety. You act on what you can influence or control, not what you can't.

 

Adapt

 

Accepting that you, unfortunately, can't control everything provides you with another option. Why not adapt instead? If you are faced with anxiety from a situation you must constantly experience and can't control, then adapt. Develop positive mantras that make you feel good. Remember that this anxiety is a choice your emotions make and decide to feel differently.

 

Adjust the way you look at a situation. After you experience anxiety and nothing bad happens, remind yourself of this later. It can take the negative power out of anxiety. You look back and realize that you may have been obsessing and worrying for no reason.

 

These four A's of stress relief can help you experience fewer anxious feelings. You reduce your level of anxiety and create more positive emotions. If these and your other efforts to reduce anxiety don't create the outcome you're looking for, talk to a mental health professional as soon as possible.

6 Incredible Benefits Of Smiling More

Smiles seem so simple, but are they really? They are not the dominant part of most of your days, but they have more positive implications than you may realize. Smiling offers many benefits in various areas of your life. 

 

Here are 6 benefits of smiling more: 

 

1. Smiling causes your body to release positive-feeling hormones. 

 

Your body is responsible for releasing hormones when you smile, three of which make you feel good. These include:

 

• Serotonin

• Dopamine 

• Endorphins

 

These hormones send signals to your body that you are happy, and thus, you feel happier. 

Even if you’re forcing a smile, it can make you feel better. Smiles that are not natural can still give you a brighter feeling. 

 

2. Smiling reduces anxiety and stress. 

 

When you smile, it lowers your levels of anxiety and stress. It sends signals to your brain that everything is fine, which prompts the body to release your body’s natural pain relievers and mood elevators. While it eases your anxiety and stress, smiling promotes a sense of relaxation and calmness. 

 

3. Smiling can take years off the appearance of your face. 

 

Smiling can make you appear younger, and that’s a great benefit all by itself. Researchers at the University of Missouri at Kansas City (UMKC) tested the theory that smiling may cause other people to see you as younger-looking. In a small-sized study, they found that college students who saw older people smiling thought they looked younger than their actual age. 

 

4. Smiling makes it easier to find solutions in life.

 

People who are stressed out often focus their attention on just what is in front of them. This is known as tunnel vision. You may also stop thinking about ideas beyond that point. 

Often, in order to solve a problem, you need to think in a more abstract way and consider proposals that are less conventional. At times like those, your smile may reduce the tunnel vision and increase your imagination and flexibility, which is just what you need. 

 

Authentic smiles are indicators of your future success. They seem to be not only a momentary expression, but also an outward sign that you like your life. 

 

5. Smiling can enhance your work and social life. 

 

Whether you are working with new colleagues or socially finding new friends, your smile can be helpful. Consider some of the popular people you may know. If they have a positive attitude and smile a lot, that can be why. 

 

Smiling brings all types of people closer to each other. Almost any relationship benefits from a willingness to smile easily. You will find that relationships with co-workers, family, friends and neighbors benefit when you smile and appreciate the brighter things in life. 

 

6. Smiling can be contagious.

 

You may believe that sneezing or yawning are the only outward actions that are contagious. If you see someone yawn, it’s very hard not to yawn yourself. As it turns out, smiling is a natural and reflexive reaction to pleasant settings and happiness. So, smiling actually makes you happy, and being happy makes you smile. That creates a positive cycle. 

 

Psychology Today published research that most people are attracted to others who have a smile ready. Smiling affects your own mood positively, and makes the people around you more likely to smile, as well. 

 

Conclusion

 

Smiling is a simple way to boost even a gray mood. You can feel better, be healthier and even be seen as a better person to lead others, as one who is more worthy of trust. When you feel stressed or you’re in a bad mood, try smiling. Take advantage of all the benefits it can offer you. 

 

References

 

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/changepower/201605/the-9-superpowers-of-your-smile

https://westmountaindental.com/the-power-of-smiling-why-its-good-for-your-health-and-well-being-dentist-in-pueblo-west-co/

https://online.uwa.edu/news/benefits-of-smiling-and-laughter/

 

Building Self-Awareness: 5 Tools And Exercises To Understand Yourself Better

Self-awareness is the vital ability to turn your focus on yourself and how your emotions, actions or thoughts align – or don’t align – with your personal internal standards. 

When your self-awareness is high, it becomes easier to manage emotions, evaluate yourself objectively, understand the ways other people perceive you and align your personal behavior with your innermost values. 

 

Here are five tools and exercises that will help you understand yourself better: 

1. Use a thought diary. 

 

Thought diaries build foundations for increasing your self-awareness. They also:

• Track thoughts that are automatic for you.

• Track what occurs that brings on the thoughts. 

• Track how you react emotionally to stimuli. 

 

If you have the time, thought diaries help you to analyze why you experience the emotions you feel. 

 

2. Do something that is new to you.

 

Placing yourself deliberately outside your comfort zone reveals a great deal to you, helping you to determine:

• What you’re comfortable with

• What you do and don’t enjoy

• Where your fear boundary is

 

New activities for you could include learning about new topics. Ask yourself “why” you feel the way you do, to discover the root reason why you wish to do something. 

 

3. Use coaching or therapy. 

 

With coaching, you’ll be tapping into your innermost motivations. This helps you to create a plan for making changes. You can set goals for self-awareness in the future and outline the clearest path to self-improvement. 

 

Therapy allows you to learn a great deal about yourself. Trained professionals are helpful in learning to unpack experiences from your past and to better understand your own behaviors.

 

4. Listen to your inner voice.

 

The words you use daily have profound impacts, helping to shape your relationship with others, things and ultimately yourself. 

 

Many people talk to themselves, and it’s a natural but undervalued skill. It will:

 

• Stimulate useful self-reflection

• Increase your motivation

• Connect you more fully with your emotions

 

There is a correlation between talking to yourself frequently and attaining a higher level of self-evaluation and self-awareness. Using positive words is more helpful. Pay close attention to your own voice – do you speak to yourself in ways you might not let others speak to you? 

 

Also be attentive to the ways in which you respond to success and failure. Your inner voice subconsciously creates valuable feedback loops, which can be turned into positive or negative experiences. 

 

Using phrases like “I have to,” “I can’t” or “I shouldn’t” may limit your potential, as they create a more negative attitude. 

 

5. Practice yoga.

 

Yoga is at once a physical and a mental practice. When you stretch, bend and flex your body, your mind learns self-acceptance, discipline and self-awareness. You’ll become more fully aware of your own body and the feelings you manifest. You’ll also become aware of the workings of your mind and the thoughts that are generated subconsciously. 

You can also pair your yoga with meditation of mindfulness in order to more fully boost your self-awareness. 

 

Conclusion

 

Self-awareness is a vital aspect of your personal growth and subsequent development. It basically refers to your ability to recognize your own behaviors, thoughts and emotions. 

This self-awareness will allow you to more fully understand yourself, including your values, beliefs, strengths and weaknesses. 

 

If you seek professional or personal growth, it’s important to develop a keen sense of self-awareness. It will serve as a strong foundation for effectively managing emotions, making well-informed decisions, building stronger relationships and achieving fulfilment on a personal level. 

 

If you are keenly self-aware, you will better understand your aspirations, goals and motivations, which will enable you to align your actions accordingly. 

 

References

 

https://positivepsychology.com/building-self-awareness-activities/

https://www.betterup.com/blog/self-awareness-activities

https://positivepsychology.com/self-awareness-matters-how-you-can-be-more-self-aware/

 

Secrets To Living A More Satisfying Life

There are times in life when one wonders if the life they are living is genuinely satisfactory. During these moments, it may appear that life is not always as purposeful as we had hoped. Perhaps you are dissatisfied with your life. 

 

Or maybe you're just tired of living a life that isn't always satisfying. It's not that you don't value the life you have. It's not like anything else. You have the impression that there must be more to life. That there has to be something out there that gives your life meaning. Something that makes you happy.

 

According to LifeHack, "Being fulfilled is an awesome feeling, but unfortunately, it's a feeling that many have trouble finding. Fulfillment is an easy concept on the surface, yet it's so elusive."

 

Here are some secrets for living a more satisfying life. They are appropriate for people of all ages, and some are more focused on the outside world while others are more concerned with self-improvement.

 

Tap Into The Power Of Community

 

The idea of togetherness and satisfaction is as ancient as time. Humans have always felt solace in the presence of other people. However, the fundamental truth of communal pleasure is that it is not about what we get out of the community; it is about what we contribute to it. 

Community is an idea that works best when the community is considered rather than each person in isolation. During the current economic crisis, for example, one study of metropolitan regions in the United States found that locations with the most civilian-focused social capital tended to have the highest contentment rates. In other words, communities with the most functional and linked networks were the most satisfied during difficult times.

 

Find Purpose In Your Work

 

The job you select may become a part of your personality and influence how you feel about yourself. Working in a profession that you see as useless and aimless may be physically and emotionally taxing, regardless of your salary or position. While changing employment routes may not be practical, you may still find purpose in your life by reorganizing your workweek or participating in other enjoyable activities such as charity work and hobbies. Participating in satisfactions and other flow-producing tasks may give your work more purpose and make it more satisfying.

 

Exercise Gratitude

 

The fact is that without a bit of effort, gratitude is difficult to come by. That shouldn't come as a surprise. Isn't it usually the case with the essential things? However, the battle for thankfulness is well worth the effort.

 

According to research, there is a "strong relationship" between being appreciative and well-being. The simple act of being grateful can help fight negative things like Depression and stress.

 

Spend Time With Family And Friends

 

Never overlook the influence of friends and family. These are the folks you can depend on to be by your side at all times, through ups and downs, in joyful and sad times. A companion signifies a connection that deserves our attention and, if nurtured, may provide us actual satisfaction in our lives. 

 

Family takes the idea of friendship and amplifies it to a notch. The relationship between family members is quite strong. It may be a tremendous source of anguish and despair in our lives when it is strained or damaged.

 

Add Some Everyday Excitement To Your Life

 

Life is designed to be one big adventure, so get out there and explore. Dare to say yes to things you've always talked yourself out of. Take up a new hobby, such as ballet dancing or mountain climbing.

 

Just keep in mind that satisfaction is not a goal. It is the process of designing a life that provides you joy, meaning, and contentment. You don't have to wait to be fully satisfied, there are things you can do every day to feel better and more fulfilled.