Give Yourself Permission For Self-Care

The practice of self-care means taking care of your physical and mental health and being aware that you must take care of yourself as the highest priority. Self-care increases stamina, reduces stress, and decreases the risk of illness, so we must treat ourselves as number one to thrive and be strong.

 

Still, we may think putting ourselves first is selfish or egotistical. Others are challenged with low self-esteem, making them feel like they don’t deserve to be first. Some people think they must do everything for everybody and will put aside their goals to assist others. These scenarios impact our self-esteem, keep us from pursuing our goals, and foster self-care neglect.

 

We must understand that if we don’t care for ourselves, we won’t be able to help anyone else, we may feel stressed, and our health suffers. When our mental or physical health is poor, we lose motivation and energy, and our quality-of-life decreases.

 

How can we treat ourselves compassionately and make self-care a part of our daily routine? 

 

About Self-Care

 

The World Health Organization explains that self-care is “the ability of individuals, families, and communities to promote health, prevent disease, maintain health, and cope with illness and disability with or without the support of a health worker.”

 

The National Library of Medicine published a study on the role of self-care related to stress and mental well-being during the COVID-19 pandemic. A tool, the Self-Care Activities Screening Scale (SASS-14), was used to evaluate the study participants. Four main areas were considered:

 

• Health consciousness

• Nutrition and physical activity

• Sleep quality

• Interpersonal and intrapersonal coping strategies

 

The result of the study is that self-care significantly improves our well-being. However, the higher a person’s perceived stress level, the more challenging it is to practice self-care.

 

Self-Care Basics

 

Reduction of perceived stress is essential for self-care. The following are basic strategies to help you cope with stress and lead you to a healthy lifestyle.

 

Embrace Healthy Foods: Nutritious meals can improve your energy and brain power. Healthy foods include fruits, vegetables, whole grains, lean meats, fish and seafood, nuts and seeds, beans, low-fat dairy products, and unsaturated oils, such as olive oil. Avoid fried foods, salt, sugar, fast foods, cakes and pies, and too much caffeine. 

 

Sleep Well: The Sleep Health Foundation recommends that adults aged 18-64 sleep 7 - 9 hours and adults over 64 sleep 7 – 8 hours nightly. Avoid actions that might keep you awake at night, such as caffeine in the afternoon, using electronics before bedtime, and taking long naps during the day. You can foster a good night’s sleep by exercising during the day, going to sleep and waking up at the same time daily, and ensuring that your bedroom is quiet. 

 

Every Workout Counts: Exercise helps to relieve stress and make you stronger mentally and physically. Choose an activity that you enjoy, such as a brisk walk, and strive to exercise at least 30 minutes daily.

 

Stay Connected: Among many benefits, having good friends can relieve stress and promote happiness. The Mayo Clinic reports that friends help you cope with traumas, improve self-confidence, and reduce your risk of health problems.

 

Time Management and Boundaries: The night before, create a to-do list for the next day and prioritize each item. This “roadmap” for the day will help you focus on the tasks that must be completed. Work through your goals and tasks in priority order. Also, consider setting boundaries to prevent interruptions to your plan. For example, if you block out 3 hours to focus on a task, let those who need to know that you aren’t available during that time. 

 

Conclusion

Taking care of yourself is essential to reduce stress and reap the benefits of good health and happiness. In our busy lives, we may feel we don’t have time for self-care, thus impacting our health and energy and limiting our capacity to help others. Remember that you are not being selfish by treating yourself as number one and setting boundaries is not rude. These are necessary concepts to help you cope with stress and boost your well-being.

 

References

 

https://www.who.int/health-topics/self-care#tab=tab_1

 

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC8678542/

 

https://www.sleephealthfoundation.org.au/sleep-topics/how-much-sleep-do-you-really-need

 

https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/adult-health/in-depth/friendships/art-20044860

 

Breaking Bad Habits: A Practical Guide To Positive Change

Why is it so difficult to overcome bad habits when we know we may harm ourselves or others? For example, we know about the health risks associated with smoking cigarettes, drinking alcohol excessively, and overeating. 

 

Our families, friends, and others are impacted by secondhand smoke and the effects of alcoholism. We want to give up our bad habits, but the short-term pleasure makes quitting or changing habits challenging. This article will explore the psychology that causes us to form habits and how to make positive changes to break bad habits.

 

About Habits

Our repetitive actions become habitual and are a normal part of the human state. Habits can be beneficial, such as taking a shower or exercising. On the other hand, regular use of illegal drugs, for example, can become a bad habit. Habits can also form when pleasurable things prompt the brain’s “reward” center, leading to unhealthy routines like gambling or overeating.

 

Eventually, the habit becomes an automatic behavior without consciously thinking about it, and it can be difficult to stop. Developing new habits is challenging since the brain retains automatic behavior. 

 

Still, you can eliminate bad habits with patience and commitment by trying the following practical strategies for positive change.

 

Identify Your Bad Habits and Triggers: List the habits you want to change to improve your well-being. Don’t try to change all your habits at once. Instead, choose the highest priority habit that you want to change and focus on it. This will increase your chances of success.

 

Think about what triggers the habit and explore options for avoiding it. For example, assume that you are stressed after work each day and find that drinking alcohol helps you to relax. However, you’ve gotten into the habit of drinking excessively and are concerned about your health. 

 

In that case, you can learn techniques such as meditation to help you relax. Ensure that you take short breaks during the workday to practice meditation. This will help you to cope with stress better. After work, when you feel the urge for a drink, substitute it with exercise, such as a brisk walk to help you unwind.

 

Your goal is to reduce or remove the trigger and substitute the bad habit with a good one.

 

Accept Discomfort: Changing habits is complex and can make you anxious and agitated. Recognize that these are normal feelings; they are temporary and will diminish with time. If you feel discomfort, do something that relaxes you; it’s a distraction and will help you to feel better. Consider going for a walk, reading, playing a game, or taking a short nap.

 

Adopt a Positive Mindset: We all have an inner voice and unconsciously have negative thoughts at times that are discouraging or detrimental to our well-being. You may think, “I can’t do this,” or “I’ll never kick this habit.” Be aware of these thoughts and replace them with positive self-talk such as “I can do this” or “I will do this.”

 

Be Kind to Yourself: You’re human; it’s essential to forgive yourself if you backslide while trying to break a habit. Give yourself credit for your efforts thus far. Rather than give up or put yourself down with negative self-talk, you can pick up where you left off and get back on track. Remember to be aware of scenarios that trigger the habit and either avoid or substitute the behavior with something positive.

 

Conclusion

When we repetitively practice behaviors, good or bad, those behaviors become habits. The habits that are bad for us are challenging to overcome. However, we can learn how to identify the triggers that make us indulge in our detrimental routines and then avoid the trigger or substitute it with positive behaviors such as exercise or enjoying a stroll in the park. 

 

Along the way, if we backslide, we must remain positive and persistent and keep trying. In the long run, by trying the preceding tips, you are taking a practical approach to making positive changes in your life.

References

https://newsinhealth.nih.gov/2012/01/breaking-bad-habits

 

https://www.psychologicalscience.org/observer/breaking-bad-habits

 

https://knowablemagazine.org/content/article/mind/2021/the-science-habits

 

10 Thoughtful Ways To Show Others They Matter To You

There is something special about feeling needed by friends and family or just being of importance to someone. These feelings help you to build your self-confidence and fortify your happiness. 

 

They can lead you to the understanding of where you fit in “the big picture,” giving your life meaning. You can show others how to feel this way, as well, by showing them that they matter to you. 

 

Here are 10 thoughtful ways you can show others that they truly matter to you:

 

Give them a hug. 

 

Ah, hugs, those simple embraces may be all someone needs to feel healing power and your appreciation for them. Hugging also creates a connection between you and others and a sense of safety, important in any stage of your life. 

 

Actively listen with your whole body, not just your ears. 

 

Pay attention to your body language when you are listening to someone close, to show them that how they feel is important to you. When you speak face to face, maintain eye contact. If the topic is positive or light, a smile is helpful, too. 

Celebrate their successes with them. 

 

When you acknowledge someone’s accomplishments, it will boost their sense of self-esteem, and allow them to feel more important. When a friend achieves something, they have worked diligently for, celebrate it with them and recognize their efforts. Celebrating others’ successes also creates a healthy, positive environment that is beneficial to all involved. 

 

Make the time for private conversations with just the two of you. 

 

Making time in your day for one-on-one interactions truly shows that they matter to you. You dedicate them individualized attention, allowing them to understand they are a priority in your eyes. 

 

These private one-on-ones could include:

 

• Going for a walk in nature together

• Scheduling a coffee or dinner together

• Just having a private, uninterrupted conversation 

 

Focused time like this will allow you to form deeper connections. It also makes the other person feel important, valued, and respected. 

 

Let them know that you believe in them. 

 

When you believe in other people, encourage them to carry that belief themselves. This helps them to envision future successes, stretch their thinking and throw open the door to their own potential. Positive words used will infect others with enthusiasm and energy. Avoid cynical words, which suck their energy and plague them with less belief in themselves.

 

Offer them hope. 

 

At each moment of every day, you can either make the world better or worse. Your thoughts spread out and are contagious, so you want them to be positive. You have it in you to help lift others up or bring them down. Interactions with others should provide a spark of hope and encouragement, for a better day or possibly a better life. 

 

Send them motivational quotes.

 

Passing on words of motivation can refresh others’ perspectives on their situations. Each person will interpret experiences and information in their own way. Sending positive, encouraging quotes helps to establish positivity and connectedness. 

 

Respect their space when they need it.

 

Respect others’ need for space when it occurs. If someone you know and feel close to is going through a trying life event or a very busy time, maintaining healthy boundaries can let them know that their feelings are important to you. 

 

Let them know what you have learned from them.

 

When you tell your family, friends, or co-workers what you have learned from them, it validates them. This could include skills like:

 

• Active listening

• Cooking

• Being a true friend

 

Letting people know what they have taught us tells them that we have heard them, and we place importance on what they say. 

 

Send them snail mail cards or letters.

 

With everything being sent electronically today, sending your friends snail mail letters or cards can show them your appreciation and love in what is now a rather unique way. You can send greeting cards that are blank inside and fill them with your own words or send a handmade postcard or everyday card. It only takes a few words to let people know that they matter to you. 

 

Conclusion

 

There’s no time like now to show others that they matter to you. Even though you may be in touch with them frequently through email, etc., they will appreciate you reminding them that you are there for them physically, as well. Take a little time and show others just how much they mean to you. 

 

Breaking Chains: Letting Go Of Toxic Relationships

Toxic relationships can drive you to your breaking point. These may be difficult to get out of, and you may not even realize things are bad until you’re in deep. Today we’ll look at healthy versus toxic relationships and how to break those chains.

 

Identifying a Toxic Relationship

 

The first step in breaking free from your chains is identifying when the chains are there. All relationships go through bad times. The difference is that toxic relationships seem to be perpetually stuck in a dark place. This is true for any type of relationship, not just romantic.

 

Signs of a healthy relationship include:

• Respect
• Trust
• Good communication
• Mutual commitment
• Kindness
• Fun
• Comfort
• Support of each other’s goals
• Partnership in decisions

On the other hand, signs of a toxic relationship include:

• Disrespect
• Lack of trust
• Dishonesty
• Poor communication
• Major difference in goals
• Lack of support
• Stress
• Jealousy
• Excessive control
• Disregard of each other’s needs and wants

Maintaining Safety

 

Depending on the level of toxicity, breaking the relationship off could have safety concerns. This mainly refers to partners in romantic relationships but not always. In these cases, it could be a good idea to consult with local law enforcement or the National Domestic Violence Hotline before taking any action. To reach the hotline, you can either call 800-799-7233 or text “START” to 88788. More information is available on their website.

 

Keys to Success

 

There are a few main components that ensure success when breaking off a toxic relationship. They include:

• Support System: Keep your loved ones in the loop about what’s going on with you. Let them know why you’re leaving the relationship and seek assistance from them if needed. Community support groups are also available if you need to talk with people who are going through the same thing.

• Independence: Learn how to take care of yourself and complete daily tasks. This includes managing your basic needs, finances, recreation, and other errands.

• Professional Assistance: Again, law enforcement and other measures may be necessary to maintain physical safety. From a mental health standpoint, you may also want to seek professional counseling before and after ending the relationship.

• Cutting Ties: One of the worst things you can do when leaving a toxic relationship is leaving the door open for the other person to come back into your life. It will be difficult to step away but it’s necessary for long-term healing. Once you no longer share material possessions and communication is not essential, delete their contact information and take them off your social media. Do not indulge in conversations about them with friends, family, or mutual connections.

• Self-Care: Engage in activities that bring you physical, mental, and emotional comfort and peace. Take care of your basic needs, live a healthy lifestyle, and participate in relaxing and recreational activities.

 

What To Say

 

What you say and how you say it during a breakup is critical to your success in walking away. Here are a few tips for breaking the chain of a toxic relationship:

• Maintain a strong and assertive but non-aggressive tone of voice.
• Use strong body language, including a tall stance, relaxed shoulders, and good eye contact.
• Use “I” statements and accept that the other person may not take responsibility for their actions.
• Use definitive language. For example, don’t say “I need a break”. Instead, say “I’m leaving you and I don’t want you in my life anymore”.

 

Healing From Toxic Relationships

 

It’s best to take a holistic approach to healing from a toxic relationship. This means focusing on every aspect of your wellbeing, not just your emotional health. Some of these aspects include:

• Physical: This involves factors such as diet, sleep, exercise, and personal hygiene.
• Mental: This involves using coping skills and/or professional help to deal with unwanted thoughts and emotions.
• Social: This involves your social connections such as family, friends, work, hobbies, and other social obligations.

 

Source Links

 

https://www.healthline.com/health/toxic-relationship

 

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/here-there-and-everywhere/202206/how-recover-toxic-relationship

 

https://www.thehotline.org/

 

https://www.verywellmind.com/how-to-leave-a-toxic-marriage-4091900

 

https://www.waldenu.edu/programs/psychology/resource/ten-signs-of-a-healthy-relationship

 

Unburden Your Heart: The Path To Letting Go Of Grudges And Resentment

Negative emotions such as anger and bitterness can be triggered when someone hurts you by saying or doing something offensive. It’s challenging to let go, to forgive, and the feelings of resentment linger, weighing you down and making your heart feel heavy.

A study published by Springer Link confirms that “Bearing grudges is associated with a history of pain disorders, cardiovascular disease, and stomach ulcers.”  Holding grudges and resentment is linked to a higher risk of heart attack, disease, high blood pressure, arthritis, back pain, headaches, and chronic pain. In addition, the anger from resentment can cause mental health problems such as anxiety and depression.

It’s in your best interest to move past the hurt caused by others to protect your health and well-being. There are strategies to free yourself of resentment.

Why Do We Struggle to Let Go?

A 2021 analysis by researchers explored why we hold resentment and found that our self-esteem is a factor. Humans need validation, meaning we want others to agree with our actions or beliefs. Otherwise, we feel morally inferior, becoming defensive and increasing the difficulty of accepting and forgiving others.

In some cases, people simply have an inability to let go and forgive. People who haven’t achieved forgiveness may have a longer latency period, meaning it takes them more time to think about the incident and arrive at any response. The hurt exists but has not been revealed yet - the bad feelings can become overpowering.

 

Strategies for Moving Forward

 

The following are strategies that can help you recover from being hurt.

Meditation

 

Mindfulness Meditation helps you explore and understand your pain while reducing stress. It calms negative thoughts and restores a positive focus. The keys to mindfulness meditation are to be aware of your breathing and living in the moment. Mindfulness can give you peace of mind and improve your self-acceptance. You can learn to practice mindfulness meditation online, or your community may offer meditation classes.

 

Practice Forgiveness

 

Be aware of the emotions that you are feeling and recognize how those feelings are impacting your physical and mental health and your behavior. Accept the feelings and the situation that occurred. You are in control, not the person that caused the event. You have the power to forgive and move on with your life.

 

Be Compassionate

 

The person who caused you to be distressed may be having issues that affect their behavior, such as the death of a loved one, a bad relationship, or low self-esteem. Think about your past interactions with the person. Are they typically pleasant and non-confrontational? Is their behavior different than in the past? Being empathetic and kind can help you to achieve forgiveness.

 

Self-Distancing

 

Research by psychologists Ozlem Ayduk and Ethan Kross found that self-distancing is significantly beneficial in overcoming the negative feelings caused by grudges and resentment. Self-distancing entails thinking about the situation from a third-person perspective rather than an active participant perspective. 

 

Envision that you’re watching actors in a movie replay the situation that occurred. This technique helps you to see the “big picture’, increasing your ability to cope with the past and have a broader perspective on the event.

 

Conclusion

 

It is human nature to be angry, sad, or upset when someone’s words or actions hurt us. Holding onto anger and resentment is harmful to your health and well-being. While it can be difficult to forgive and move on, it’s in your best interest to do so. The preceding techniques can help you to cope, forgive, and unburden your heart.

 

References

 

https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s00127-009-0054-0

 

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4384185/

 

https://abbymedcalf.com/the-key-to-letting-go-of-resentment/

 

https://www.mindful.org/how-to-meditate/

 

Mayo Clinic

 

https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/20438226/

 

Why Do We Suffer from Burnout?

Burnout is a state caused by high levels of chronic stress. It results in a total breakdown emotionally, physically, or mentally. What used to be a term for a broad set of conditions is now an official medical diagnosis. That's important because until it was given official recognition, people just believed they had to ride out whatever they were experiencing. Here's an example.

 

You approach your boss and tell him you've had enough. You can't work another minute. The environment, your coworkers, or some other situation has you on the verge of a mental or physical breakdown. Before a doctor could diagnose you as suffering from burnout, your boss might have told you to "tough it out."

 

In many cases, this is what we tell ourselves. While we recognize that our situation is beyond difficult in some way, we feel like we should be able to push through. That is definitely not the best course of action if you have a case of burnout working against you.

 

Look out for These Common Causes of Burnout

 

A person will suffer from burnout because they have been pushed past their emotional, physical, or mental breaking point. It's not just a case of someone working many long hours and being physically tired. 

 

It usually happens because a person is not in control of the situation they are forced to endure.

 

They have to put up with emotional, physical, or mental stress. There is no letting up. They feel they have no control over the process. A workload on the job or at home looks like it's insurmountable. Personal responsibilities that must be met continue to build until they create a perceived disaster situation.

 

A person feels they don't have the tools, resources, or personal abilities to handle their life or job satisfactorily. All of these situations can be caused by the following factors.

• Monotonous, challenging workloads that seem to grow quicker than progress

• Having a continual lack of control, either at work or in personal life

• Seeing little to no rewards for a person's time and effort

• Feeling a lack of support and community

• The perception that a person is the only one that has to go through harsh or difficult times

• Toxic environments that threaten a person's values, and possibly physical or mental health

While most burnout is job-related, you can see that these common causes of a breakdown can happen at home, in a person's social life, and at work. Avoid them whenever possible. If you suspect that you or someone you care about is a prime burnout candidate, talk to a counselor or mental health professional. As with any other health problem, prevention is always the best medicine.