Showing posts with label Self-Esteem. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Self-Esteem. Show all posts

Sunday, 25 September 2022

Life After Divorce: Landing On Your Feet


Someone once said that to move on after a relationship takes half the time you spent together. So, if you were in a one-year relationship, it’s okay if you take six months to wallow and reminisce.

 

Yet, that can be much harder to apply to divorce. The waiting period for getting over a marriage that quite possibly spanned the better part of a decade, probably longer, surely takes time. But, you can’t spend the next couple of years of your life feeling sorry for yourself, crying over the marriage that wasn’t meant to be.

 

Your only option is to find ways to get back up and land on your feet. We’re confident that you’ll find yourself again in your time. But, in the meantime, here are a few tips to help get you started.

 

1. Change Your Viewpoint

 

After you’ve been with your partner for so long, it’s natural to feel like you’ve strayed from who you are as an individual. So, after a divorce, you have to re-adjust the way you look at things.

 

Getting a divorce is no longer the stigma that it once was. Just because you’re not with someone doesn’t mean your life is empty or meaningless.

 

On the contrary, you can schedule more time to spend time with friends and family. In addition, you’ll notice that you have more freedom to choose new furniture and try out new recipes.

 

2. Learn from Setbacks

 

Setbacks are disheartening for anyone. Yet, they seem to be more caustic when you’re going through a divorce because, let’s face it, it’s a pretty painful stage of life. There’s no way to sugar-coat it.

 

But, you can teach yourself to make the most of each setback. For example, painful as it may be, you have to look at what went wrong in your relationship.

 

Don’t lay blame; simply lay out the facts. This way, you can use that anger and disappointment to understand what you want and don’t want in a relationship.

 

You can also take this time to work on your own insecurities and failings. As a result, you’ll move from feeling helpless and weak to feeling more empowered and capable.

 

3. Give Yourself Credit

 

As you pick up your life piece by piece, don’t fall into the bottomless pit of feeling sorry for yourself. Instead, be proud of all your hard work and how far you’ve come.

 

You may still not be at the point in your life where you’re making real progress, but you’ve taken plenty of positive steps forward. Celebrate those.

 

For example, give yourself credit if you’ve just made a phone call you’ve been dreading or learned how to do something that was previously your partner’s domain. Those little successes in your daily life should be valued and celebrated.

 

4. Be Grateful for What You Have

 

One way to land on your feet after a divorce is to count your blessings. Look around you at the things you have and the people who care for you. Register as many positives as you can to help you appreciate your life now just as it is.

 

Then, any time you begin to feel sorry for yourself, remember those moments when you felt unheard and unloved by your partner. You probably felt lonely and dejected.

 

Compare that with the support your friends and family give you. Even if you’re on your own, you now have the freedom to go out and make new friends. You can try volunteering, enrolling in a class, or simply becoming a more active member of your community.

 

5. Schedule Things to Look Forward To

 

After a divorce, you’ll find that you probably have more free time than before. You have to learn how to use that time wisely.

 

Don’t spend it all catching up on chores, work, and running errands. Instead, carve out some time for yourself each day–even if it’s just for five minutes.

 

Doing things that you enjoy, like gardening, painting, or just taking a walk, can help lower stress and anxiety. It can also brighten up your mood and add a bit of happiness to your day.

 

Other ideas include:

 

  • Joining a book club
  • Attend a local art gallery
  • Go to a museum
  • Host game night and invite a few friends over

 

Conclusion

 

Think of divorce as the end of one path and the start of a new one. But on this one, you’ll do most of the walking alone.

 

The trick is to not look at it as something scary. Instead, take this time to rediscover yourself and embark on a new adventure full of exciting possibilities.

 


Sunday, 18 September 2022

Misconceptions About Negotiating


The pervasive perception of negotiation in the West is more negative than it is in most other places in the world. We imagine men screaming at each other across a boardroom table, spittle flying. But that’s not what negotiation really looks like if you are doing it right. The goal of negotiation is for both parties to get what they want. The aim is to reach a win-win. There are several misconceptions about negotiating that we would like to straighten out here and now.

 

It’s too combative - As mentioned above, negotiation shouldn’t be aggressive or nasty. You don’t need to view it as a competition or confrontation because it’s not. Instead, bargaining is simply an exchange of points and offers. 

 

It’s only for cheapskates - More people are watching their pennies nowadays, and one way to improve your wealth is to negotiate, especially on high ticket items. Why pay more than you need to? How do you think people with a lot of money in the bank got there? No doubt, part of their strategy was to negotiate the price of things when appropriate.

 

It’s improper - Especially in the case of high ticket items, sales people expect you to try to negotiate price. If you own a house, for example, did you settle on the asking price or did you offer less? Same with a car. Most car dealerships state their highest price, knowing that people will ask for something lower. If they get their asking price, all the better. But they don’t expect it. It’s not improper to save money.

 

It takes a certain type of personality - This misconception goes back to believing that negotiating is aggressive. Though it may feel less than comfortable in the beginning, some practice can take care of that. Even shy people can learn to negotiate. It’s a skill that can be learned, not necessarily something you are born with.

 

It’s not worth the time or money - Again, in the case of expensive purchases, it can be well worth your time to negotiate price. Many people who are selling something, whether a company or an individual on Craig’s List set their price high, expecting to bargain. Is it worth your time to shave a few car payments off the life of your car loan? If not, it should be.

 

It’s embarrassing - This misconception is rooted in the fact that most people are uncomfortable negotiating. But all it takes is some practice. You also won’t negotiate on everything you buy. The kid checking you out at a fast food place or movie theater isn’t going to knock down the price. But the salesman trying to sell you a dishwasher probably would. Knowing when to bargain and then practicing it is all that is needed to end the embarrassment.

 


Why It’s Important to Be Able to Debate


When you think of the word debate, you probably think of a somewhat nerdy after-school activity offered in some high schools. But debating isn't just for sport, as it is also known as "arguing." And clearly, arguments have a place in our everyday lives. No matter what you call it, though, it is an important life skill to have for several different reasons. 

 

Debating Helps You Form Your Own Opinion

 

If you've never debated a topic, chances are your feelings about the topic aren't fully formed. When you debate something, it challenges you to think about the topic at a deeper level. And when you think about the topic at a deeper level, it helps you solidify your emotions about the topic. 

 

Debate Helps You Learn

 

Besides just solidifying your emotions about a particular topic, the debate also allows you to learn more about a topic you may be passionate about. Your opponent may make a point that you had never heard of before. However, for this to hold true, you need to make sure you listen when the other person(s) are speaking instead of just preparing your answer while they speak. 

 

Debate Activates Your Brain

 

While debate isn't the only way to activate your brain, it activates a part of your brain that you don't often use. This part of the brain deals with problem-solving and the art of persuasion. When you debate with someone, you exercise both of these skills, crucial to survival as an adult. Even most schools recognize this, so several colleges such as Oxford recommend debate classes for all of their students. 

 

Debate Solves Problems

 

If you have an opinion and never share it with anyone in your life, problems could arise because you haven't made your opinions clear. Debating a topic helps bring everyone's opinions to the forefront in an environment where they are respected. Just make sure you never attack someone else for their beliefs. Only attack the topic at hand so that it doesn’t become personal.

 

These are just a few of the many reasons that it's important to learn to debate. Without knowing how to debate, it's likely an individual will go through life being misunderstood by others and even by themselves, as they may not understand their stance on certain issues. So, if you think this describes you, it’s time to learn how to debate today!

 


6 Ways Being Authentic Spurs Success


Everyone wants to succeed. It’s normal to want to achieve things in life. The question is, how do you want to go about it? You’ve got goals, but what traits do you need to get where you want to go?

 

There are a lot of the standard answers, such as having grit, integrity, a lot of confidence, and a creative spark. But have you considered how being authentic takes you into the new success of the modern world?

 

Think about these things:

 

Simplified Decision-making

 

Being authentic means, you stay true to yourself. By extension, you remain true to your goals as well. Authenticity makes it easier to choose your next steps, as everything you do will reflect your values and where you want to go. 

 

You Protect Yourself from Less Than Favorable Influences

 

If you’re authentic, people who aren’t as open or truthful in their own lives will tend to shy away from you. Even when they don’t, your inherent honesty is going to make it easier for you to spot people who aren’t as authentic as you are. 

 

People Want to Be Around You

 

When you’re authentic, people know they can trust you; they want to be around you. Looking for people to work with on a project? You’ll have plenty of volunteers. Even in social situations, you’re going to find yourself the center of attention more often. You’ll make better connections with people who are interested in helping you on the road to success.


You’re Quick to Learn New Things

 

Being authentic means you’re not going to waste time lying to yourself. If you’re stuck or don’t know what to do next, you’re more likely to look for solutions and find them, leading to more successful outcomes.

 

No Regrets

 

How many times has your gut tried to tell you something was wrong, or that you were heading off on a tangent? Authentic people tend to pay more attention to these feelings. Paying attention to your gut feelings will stand you in good stead because, more often than not, your intuition is right. When it comes to making other decisions, authenticity will guide you to do what you really want to do, over what you ‘should’ do. Listen to your intuition, and you’ll find you have fewer regrets and more achievements.

 

You’re Seen as Having Integrity

 

Reputation matters. It is perhaps the most significant help in achieving success. If people see you as being ‘real,’ they’re going to support you in whatever you do. Success comes naturally from here.

 


Top Benefits of Being Your Authentic Self


Being your authentic self sounds wise, yes? But did you know that being true to yourself has a range of benefits? Studies have shown that authenticity is more than a feel-good way of life, it is good for your health, relationships, even your career!

 

Here are some of the top benefits of living an authentic life.

 

Greater self-confidence

 

To live an authentic life has a significant effect on your self-confidence. You like yourself more, you trust your judgment, you acknowledge and work with your own unique set of skills and talents, and you make better choices that align with how you want to be.

 

More respect

 

As your confidence grows, you’ll inspire respect in others as they see you living in your truth. Everyone wants someone to look up to, and people recognize and respect authenticity. You’ll find yourself being a role model for others.

 

Greater trust

 

When people see you living in alignment with your values, see you being straightforwardly yourself, their trust in you will soar. And trustworthy people make great leaders. If you become known for being honest and trustworthy, you’re more likely to be promoted or given opportunities. 

 

Better health

 

Living in alignment means you’re much more likely to take care of yourself, you’ll prioritize self-care, rest and balance. Researchers found that people committed to living an authentic life were more likely to eat healthy foods, exercise and get regular physical exams. Being your authentic self also sets you up for better mental health as you are calmer, less conflicted and are generally all around happier! 

 

Greater resilience

 

People who are at peace with their true selves are much more resilient when it comes to dealing with life’s ups and downs. They deal better with stress, which in turn has great benefits for their physical health. They don’t spend their lives in the cortisol soup that comes from being highly stressed. 

 

Better relationships

 

Being authentic leads to better relationships because you’re not pretending to be someone else. You can be honest and straightforward about who you are and what you value, without fear of being judged. You’re also better at managing boundaries and less judgmental of your partner.

 

And ultimately, living an authentic life means that when you come to the end of your natural life, there shouldn’t be any regrets! You’ve probably seen those lists of top regrets of the dying and resolved not to be one of those people. Start now by choosing to live authentically. Choose to be authentic and choose to be happy!

 


7 Benefits of Living by Your Own Rules


From childhood on, we are taught to fit in. We do what's expected. We learn to be responsible, and we stop taking chances. After a while, this can feel a little boring. Worse, we start wondering who we are. 

 

It's time to take back control. It's time to live by your own rules.

 

You'll Like YOU Better

 

It's hard to have a lot of self-respect when you're always compromising who you are. When you stick to your belief system and act in ways that are authentic to yourself, you'll find you like yourself a whole lot more.  

 

Others Will Like You Better

 

You're not the only one who's going to notice the change. When you stop wearing masks and trust others with who you are, people appreciate your authenticity. This kind of honesty also gives them the space to be vulnerable, something which is hard to find. It's no wonder they'll respect you more when you're yourself.

 

You Bounce Back

 

If you fail, that's on you. Accept whatever lessons the experience teaches you and move on. When you lose by your own rules, it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks.

 

More Intimate Relationships

 

How can anyone possibly fall in love with a fake person? When you're always showing the other person your best self, they never get to know the true you. Relationships grow and develop where there's intimacy. Intimacy comes from being honest. 

 

You'll Rediscover Passion

 

When you're always doing what everyone else wants, it's hard to feel fulfilled in your work. When you set your own goals and aspire to reach your dreams, you'll find life much more rewarding. You can never be delighted unless you are excited about but what you're doing. Here's where passion lies. 

 

You Don't Miss Out

 

Don't you hate regrets? When you look back on your life, what would you most like to see? Do you want to be able to say, "I did what everyone expected" or "I realized my dreams"?

 

You Discover Optimism

 

In the end, it's easier to look forward to a day where you know you are pursuing the things you are passionate about. Here is happiness, and a whole lot of optimism toward what comes next.  

 

You're going to find there are still times when you need to live by someone else's rules. It would help if you drove the speed limit. You can't just take what isn't yours. But on the other hand, in those times where you do have control, you're going to find you're much happier when you call the shots. Be yourself. Do your own thing. Embrace life. 

 

And only follow the rules when you have to. 

 


Sunday, 4 September 2022

Are Your Fears Holding You Back?


Fear is an emotion that can hold you back from reaching your goals and levels of success in your career – or even in school. Taking risks is part of everyday life but can be hindered if you are fearful of the unknown. How often do you say no to something just because you are fearful of what you think could happen?

 

Five Types of Fear

 

The top five fears that may be holding you back could include the following:

 

  • Feeling inadequate – Do you fear you are not good enough or lack the skills to pursue your dreams? You can overcome this fear by knowing and understanding your importance in a particular area of your life. 
  • The unknown – Do you have the common fear of the unknown? You can overcome this fear by having a vision for yourself and your future. 
  • FOMO – Fear of Missing Out is when you wish you were doing what others are doing because it looks better than what you’re doing. This type of fear is a distraction that can keep you from forming real relationships. 
  • Change – Fear of change can steal your joy and peace. To overcome this fear, take time to enjoy the moment you are in. Doing this can help you appreciate your life and relationships in a deeper manner. 
  • Being judged – No one wants to be judged by others and being vulnerable opens you up for the possibility of being judged. Adam Kirk Smith, Author of “The Bravest You” says “embrace your personal story” to overcome this fear. 

 

Fear can be crippling and can hold you back from your true potential. Though you may never live a completely fear-free life, there are ways you can overcome the fears in your life. 

 

It’s important to be open and honest with your fears too. You could even journal those fears so you can write down the ways to overcome them. The majority of fear comes from the unknown or even the thought of taking a risk. No one wants to be judged so it comes naturally to stay away from these types of situations. Lack of self-esteem or self-confidence can be an underlying cause of such fears. 

 

Overcome Your Fears

 

Begin by establishing a purpose for taking a risk; doing so this can remove that fear. Knowing your purpose will help you overcome many fears in your life. Purpose and meaning in life can help you move past your fears and guide you along your life’s journey.

 

Consider using positive affirmations when you are faced with a fear. Knowing where you are and what you want can help move you from a state of fear to a position of success. 

 

Finally, understand that not all fear is negative. Some fear can save your life and help you through a life-or-death situation. According to PsychologyToday.com “Real fear can save our lives, embrace it. Manufactured fear divides us, let it go. And, be sure to give fear the attention it needs so you can distinguish between the two.”



Signs You Might Be Experiencing Impostor Syndrome


Impostor syndrome is defined as, “anxiety or self-doubt that results from persistently undervaluing one’s competence and active role in achieving success, while falsely attributing one’s accomplishments to luck or other external forces.” Now that you know what impostor syndrome is, how do you know if you are living with it?

 

Five Signs You Have Impostor Syndrome

 

Here are five common signs that you are living with impostor syndrome.

 

  • You cannot assess your skills and abilities realistically because you are giving yourself unrealistic goals to accomplish. 
  • You connect your success to the outcome, giving no thought to the amount of work you put forth.
  • You put down your own efforts and accomplishments by shrugging them off as if they were “not that good”. 
  • You live in constant fear of failing to meet your own expectations, but fail to acknowledge the goals you’ve reached. 
  • You engage in activities that self-sabotage potential success by choosing to deliberately procrastinate. 

 

Many people with impostor syndrome look for ways to protect their ego and self-esteem when faced with tough situations. There are negative side effects to living with impostor syndrome, such as hindering your chance of success by choosing to create a barrier. Some individuals use their limiting beliefs, or feelings of impostor syndrome, for motivation.

 

External Proof versus Internal Thoughts

 

Impostor syndrome keeps you from internally accepting or believing your abilities or successes. The more you accomplish and succeed, the stronger the negative thoughts can become. 

 

Do you struggle with thoughts or feelings of being a fraud in your career or at school? Have you reached a goal yet you don’t feel you did it well enough? These are examples of how individuals with impostor syndrome feel. Even though you accomplished the goal you set out to do, you can’t seem to internally believe it was good enough. 

 

Internal feelings can increase the anxiety and could lead to intense feelings of being a fraud. This creates a vicious cycle and it may require the help of a psychologist or therapist to overcome this phenomenon. If the impostor syndrome is not correctly handled, it can lead to feelings of isolation or even feelings of dread. 

 

Impostor syndrome is often passed down to a person from their family, unknowingly. It may not be evident until later in their teens or adulthood. Another potential cause may be from entering a new career field where you internally compare your skills to those who have been at the job longer than yourself. There could also be a number of external factors that could cause a person to be inflicted with impostor syndrome. 

 

Once you realize you have impostor syndrome, you can take steps to overcome it. Some of these steps include sharing your feelings and fears with trusted individuals. Ask yourself if your thoughts are honest and rational. Assess whether you are comparing yourself to others without even realizing it. Keep in mind that successful people struggle with impostor syndrome and often relate their success to luck instead of hard work. Let your guard down and let others see you for who you really are. 

 


Success Is Not Luck, It’s You!


Do you have feelings or worries that your co-workers or friends will think you're a fraud? Do you often feel like you don’t belong? These are feelings of impostor syndrome and an estimated 70% of successful people experience this in their lives. 

 

Impostor syndrome can cause you to feel that you only accomplished your goals due to luck. Maybe you think you aren’t as good as your boss thinks you are and you worry that you’ll be found out. 

 

Research shows us that both men and women battle impostor syndrome and are unable to acknowledge and own their successes. 

 

Five Patterns of Impostor Syndrome

 

According to the impostor expert Valerie Young and author of “The Secret Thoughts of Successful Women”, there are five patterns that can be found in those who suffer from this phenomenon.


  • You set unrealistic goals for yourself and are often considered a perfectionist. 
  • You are afraid to speak up or answer questions due to fear of not knowing the answer.
  • You are afraid to ask for help because you think you’ll look like a failure to others.
  • You feel like a fraud if the answer doesn’t come naturally.
  • You push yourself hard than your peers in order to prove yourself. 

 

Individuals that live with impostor syndrome think that things happen to them due to luck rather than their own hard work or abilities. This then leads to a cycle of negative thinking that can hold them back from moving up the corporate ladder. They may even end up working harder than necessary, which could lead to increased feelings of failure or burnout.

 

Change Your Mindset, Change Your Life

 

If you are living with impostor syndrome you may struggle with accepting your own success. Perhaps you feel that you don’t deserve your corporate position or an award of accomplishment. If you can relate to this, then there are some suggestions on how you can fix your inner impostor. 

 

  • Change your mindset to accept your shortcomings instead of seeking a perfect outcome with every project or goal. 
  • Embrace your imperfections and learn to accept yourself the way you are. Remind yourself that you did your best. 
  • Keep a list of realistic goals. If you have a list of goals already then look through them with honesty.
  • Believe the effort you’ve put forth regardless of the outcome. You may have worked hard towards a goal just to fall short of the desired outcome. This is an opportunity to accept the outcome and still be proud of the work you put into it. 
  • Create a focused goal instead of trying to divide your attention energy between unrelated topics. Be okay with having someone else work on a particular area of a task so you are free to focus on what you enjoy.

 

Impostor syndrome can cause the strongest and most successful individuals to feel like they are not good enough. This syndrome has a negative effect on all areas of your life. So take time to assess where you are and what you can do to move forward in your life. 



What Is Impostor Syndrome?


Impostor syndrome is best described as the fear of being considered a fraud or doubting one's accomplishments. Even those who have reached a level of success in their chosen field are often full of anxiety and crippling thoughts of being considered a fraud. According to the Journal of Behavioral Science, it is estimated that 70% of people in the U.S. experience impostor syndrome. 

 

Impostor syndrome (IS) is an internal feeling that you believe you are not as qualified as other may think you are. This is often connected to thoughts of perfectionism and can be applied to your intelligence or achievement. If you have feelings of being a fraud or that you did not deserve that raise, then you could be dealing with impostor syndrome. 

 

Four Characteristics of Impostor Syndrome

 

Those who suffer with impostor syndrome doubt their own skills and accomplishments despite the evidence of the success. Below are four common indicators you may be dealing with impostor syndrome.

 

  • Deep-seated feelings of fear that you aren’t able to meet expectations.
  • Undermining your achievements even when you worked diligently towards that goal.
  • Setting unrealistic goals and then feeling disappointed if you do not meet those goals.
  • Doubting yourself no matter what you’re working on or working towards.

 

If you recognize any of the above, there some things you can do to move past these feelings. Begin by confronting your feelings and any beliefs you hold about yourself. If you struggle with any of this, consider speaking with a professional or close friend. Confiding in someone can help you gain clarity on your feelings and beliefs. 

 

Impostor syndrome can be ingrained in you as a child and continue well into adulthood. Struggling with feelings of being a fraud can happen to anyone but is seen mostly in successful women. According to research done with Psycnet.apa.org, “despite their outstanding academic and professional accomplishments, women who experience the impostor phenomenon persist in believing that they are really not bright and have fooled anyone who thinks otherwise.”

 

Do You Have Impostor Syndrome?

 

So, how do you know if you suffer from impostor syndrome? One way to know if you are dealing with it is to take a free online test. Simply answer the questions that you can find through a quick online search, or try the free test on at Psycom.net.  

 

You can remove impostor syndrome by first recognizing it in your life and seeing how it is affecting you. Progressively work towards breaking those limiting beliefs by thinking of the quality of work you are performing versus the quantity. 

 

If someone pays you a compliment, remind yourself that it is a fact and that you deserve it. Begin to recognize your own successes and take time to celebrate the wins in your life. Eventually your inner voice will support your new positive thoughts so you can overcome the feelings of impostor syndrome.



Your Childhood May Have Contributed to Impostor Syndrome


Do you have repeated thoughts you haven’t rightfully gained your job or an award? Do you fear being outed or exposed for not being as talented or enough in your career?

 

Impostor syndrome is a habitual thought pattern, according to PsychCentral, and may stem from your family background. Impostor syndrome can bring on feelings of chronic self-doubt and even a lack of celebration of their achievements. 

 

Imposter syndrome can limit your belief in your abilities, talents, and even accomplishments. This can then lead to increased anxiety and low self-esteem. Many adults live with limiting beliefs because of their family upbringing and often do not know that this is even an issue until later in life. 

 

Where Does Impostor Syndrome Come From?

 

Impostor syndrome can come from receiving praise or acknowledgment for something that you didn’t deserve, and this can directly influence your thoughts into causing feelings of being a phony. There may be a variety of reasons why you battle thoughts of feeling like a fraud or have the feeling of being an impostor in your life. 

 

Impostor syndrome can hinder your self-esteem and even keep you from trying new activities in life. If you frequently battle feelings where you don’t deserve recognition for a job well done, then you could be living with it. It is reported that many individuals are known to have this syndrome without realizing it. 

 

Five Reasons You May Battle Impostor Syndrome

 

There are five common reasons why you may be battling impostor syndrome, such as:

 

  • You may have received praise or recognition for something that you did not deserve, such as a blue ribbon for a project when you know you did not do your best.
  • You may have been praised for being good in a skill that you actually were not good at just so you would not be left out. 
  • You may have never received any type of positive reinforcement for a job well done even though you worked to your best ability.
  • You may not feel deserving of something of value because you were told you were not good enough or should have done better regardless of how much effort you put forth.
  • Did your family assign you a label such as “the sporty one” or “the smart one” without recognizing other areas you excelled at?

 

These labels or ingrained life lessons could cause you to grow into an adult that suffers from impostor syndrome. 

 

Once you can relate to one or more of these life experiences, you can change your own life. For example, if they labeled you the “smart one” of your family, then you could begin by recognizing a job well done in another area of your life. Perhaps trying out for a sports team or taking part in a community event can be the beginning of self-recognition and the shedding of your impostor syndrome feelings. 

 

Take time to recognize your own achievements, as this can build your self-esteem and help you shed that label.



Sunday, 28 August 2022

3 Essential Steps to Add Intensity to Your Goals


Do you want to know the secret to really achieving your biggest dreams? The secret sauce is to add intensity to your goals. Make them big, think big, act big. 

 

Often times, people fall short of achieving their best life because they run out of energy or motivation. The get side-tracked, distracted. But load your goals with intensity and you’ll be powering ahead. 

 

Here are three things you can do to turbo-charge your gaols with intensity. 

 

Make it All About You

 

Probably you weren’t encouraged to put yourself front and center. Did your mom tell you not to be selfish, did your dad tell you to share? That’s a great way to get on with people but putting yourself second or third won’t help you get ahead. 

 

Add intensity by putting yourself center stage. Make yourself the hero of your life story. Imagine yourself some time down the track. You’ve achieved your goals. You’re living your dream life. How does it feel? What makes you feel strong and happy and proud?

 

Build your strengths, lift your weak points, and focus on making Project You the center of your life. 

 

Dream Big

 

What’s your big vision? Do you want to be president? CEO of your own company? Do you want to win an Oscar? Maybe a Nobel Prize? Or a Pulitzer? 

No one got anywhere by staying small. Whatever your dream is, make it as big as you can. It might seem daring, even impossible, or boastful. 

 

But think hard. How do you want to make your mark on the world? Ramp it up and make it as big as you can. Intensify it!

 

That’s your goal. 

 

Go for It

 

Big dreams, big goals don’t mean anything unless you act on them. It’s up to you to make it happen. The longer the gap between creating your vision and acting, the less likely you are to do anything at all, and your big dream becomes a pipe dream, a might have been. 

 

Start by working out a plan on how to get there. Do you need new skills, do you need to reach out to people in your network for advice or mentoring? 

 

Most importantly, make the commitment to direct your energy into making your goals your reality. Ramp up your dedication and ramp up your efforts. 

 

Add intensity to your goals and your desires to achieve them. With determination and intensity, you’re already on your path to success!