Setting Goals in an Uncertain World

Are your goals linked intimately to your strongest beliefs? When you sat down to create a game plan for living your dreams, did you consider your values? If you haven't, the ever-shifting world we live in might leave a bitter taste in your mouth when you strive for your goals instead of the sweet taste of success that comes from aligning your actions with your values.

 

Attach Your Values to Your Most Important Goals

 

Some people value free time highly. They arrange their lives so they have as much time as possible to do what they enjoy rather than what they must. For instance, they might prioritize their hobbies or spend more time with their loved ones. Others value family or friendship above all else, while some chase the almighty dollar as their existence's be-all, end-all motivator.

 

Take some time to review your values. Don't just look at the surface level. Dig deep and uncover the biggest motivators. It's easy to be distracted by what society or marketing messages try to convince you is your best life path. Ensure your values are your own and not dictated to you by someone else.

 

Revisit the Most Unpredictable Circumstances You Have Had to Experience

 

The global financial crisis of 2008 was the largest since the Great Depression. It was triggered by a combination of factors, including the bursting of the United States housing bubble, high-risk lending practices, and the spread of toxic assets. The Great Recession that followed saw a European debt crisis that saw Greece, Portugal, Ireland, and Cyprus require rescue from economic default.

 

While many financial experts had predicted something troubling on the horizon before those devastating monetary collapses, it caught most people by surprise. People abandon their financial goals unless they have some relation to a person's core beliefs and deep-seated values.

 

When Your Goals Mean Something, You Persevere

 

What are your big goals right now? Think about the first two or three things that come to mind. Look at them closely. Are they truly related to your unique and personal values, or are they 'cookie-cutter copies'-of generic goals others have achieved but which may not align with your aspirations?

 

Life is uncertain on its most predictable day and unpredictable much of the time. In the face of such uncertainty, ensure your goals reflect your true values. If not, the motivation to realize them can disappear as circumstances change.

 

One of life's certainties is that you will face uncertainty your entire life. 

 

You can work diligently to control your environment, influences, and experience, but life will inevitably taunt you with unforeseeable challenges. When you base your goals on your most important beliefs, they stand a better chance of surviving the uncertainties the fickle finger of fate will force you to face.

 

Self-Parenting 101

Self-parenting, self-love, and self-care go hand in hand. All three are there to help you make conscious decisions and allow you to take better care of yourself.

 

After doing a lot of internal work, I now have a clearer vision of why we need to practice good self-parenting. The problem is that many people feel this type of self-care is shallow or selfish. But that couldn’t be further from the truth!

 

Below are some self-parenting 101 tips and tricks that can help ensure that you always prioritize what you need to thrive and lead a fulfilling life.

 

Let’s get started.

 

What Is Self-Parenting?

 

In short, self-parenting is a type of focused care that involves healthy living patterns and positive daily habits. It puts a spotlight on the things that truly matter in your life, like sleep, nourishment, and security.

 

Yet, while those are all great ways to manage your overall health, self-parenting takes it a step further.

 

At its core, self-parenting is how you can fulfill unmet needs lingering from your childhood. It’s a way to tone down your inner critic, which is actually a culmination of voices that you’ve internalized and now believe as your own.

 

As a result, you learn how to listen more to your emotions and thoughts. You become more compassionate towards who you are as a person, and you allow yourself to feel worthy and seen.

 

It does this by providing new experiences that can lead to more satisfying behavior and a more positive effect, thus helping you create better outcomes in your life.

 

5 Self-Parenting Tips

 

In my search for ways of being a better parent to myself, I looked at some of the ways good parents care for their kids. Then, I used them to create an outline that adults can apply to themselves to enhance their inner parent.

 

Take a look.

 

Accept Your Emotions

 

Feelings help us define what’s happening so we can articulate our thoughts and act accordingly. When children have intense feelings, it can sometimes be overwhelming. If we’re not taught at a young age how to deal with those big, scary emotions, we still won’t be able to deal with them as adults.

 

This is where self-parenting can really help. Tell yourself that it’s okay to have feelings, no matter how big or small.

 

More importantly, avoid making yourself feel guilty or ashamed about feeling a certain way. Instead, learn how to make the most of these feelings to better understand what you’re going through and help yourself move forward.

 

Set Healthy Boundaries

 

When your life has clearly defined expectations, you can safely navigate and explore within those boundaries. So, make it super clear what you expect of yourself and your life.

 

Yet, we’re trained to listen to our elders and to behave properly. Then, we grow up and we fear what will happen if we assert our needs as adults. So, we put everyone’s needs before our own to avoid rejection.

 

However, with boundaries, you have the power. It may sting a bit if someone rejects you for saying no for whatever reason. But you’ll survive and you’ll come out stronger and more confident.

 

Have Reasonable Expectations

 

Write down realistic goals for the year ahead. Start with long-term goals, then break them down into monthly, weekly, and daily objectives.

 

Working down from larger to more manageable short-term goals will give you a sense of accomplishment. Plus, it helps you focus on what you have to do and avoid feeling hurt or helpless.

 

Remind yourself to be proud of your commitment to do the work. And each time you achieve something on our list, reward yourself. Then, after each one, think about setting new goals that can help you achieve more in your personal and professional life.

 

Create a Regular Routine

 

Knowing that you’ll be doing certain things at certain times is one of the best self-parenting techniques ever! Having a routine helps prepare you for what’s ahead so you can have time to adjust and react accordingly. It also teaches you responsibility, leadership, and discipline.

 

For example, one of the first things experts will advise you to do is to go to bed at a specific time each night. Not only that, but you need to create a nightly ritual to help you unwind and relax at the end of the day.

 

Start by turning off all screens 30–60 minutes before bedtime and dim the lights. You can bring an enjoyable book to read. Or you can play some soft music to ease you into sleep mode and reduce any nighttime jitters you may have.

 

Know Your Core Values

 

Adults who come from neglectful homes are often not taught morals when they were children. So, as your self-parent, it’s up to you to determine what it takes to become a helpful, empathetic member of your community.

 

You also have to learn the importance of respecting yourself and others, as well as being honest and trustworthy. And the best way to do that is by finding out what your core values are.

 

One thing you can do to appreciate the role that helping others has in your life is to volunteer at a local shelter or community center. Even a simple gesture, holding the door for someone or smiling at a stranger, can do miracles for your self-esteem.