The 3-Step Process to Stop Thinking and Start Doing

You want a fulfilling career, a home of your own, and better health. Or perhaps you have smaller goals, such as learning a new language or traveling more often. However, you never find the time or the perfect opportunity to get started. 

 

The truth is that most people fail to achieve their goals not because they lack talent or have bad ideas, but because they quit. They get caught up in ruminating over what they might do and never take action. 

 

If you fall into this category, it's time to make a change. Follow these three steps to stop thinking and start doing! 

 

Set Your Priorities Straight 

 

Start by defining your priorities. What do you want to achieve the most? Set short-term and long-term goals, such as getting a promotion, acquiring new clients, or buying a home. Give yourself due dates for each of these goals. Even if you don't meet the deadline, it should be just enough to get you started. 

 

Eliminate any distractions that are wasting your time and focus on your end goal - to acquire new leads and boost your revenue. 

 

Stop Overanalyzing and Go for It 

 

Do you spend hours or days thinking and planning? Do you always focus on the worst-case scenario? Are you constantly trying to read between the lines? These signs indicate that you tend to overanalyze everything. 

 

Like it or not, your thoughts are not reality. Just because you're thinking of the worst-case scenario, it doesn't mean it will happen. Don't believe everything you feel or think. Sometimes, the best thing you can do is to go with the flow and take action. Overanalyzing situations, events, or actions rarely leads to a productive outcome. 

 

Focus on the Positive 

 

Psychologists advise us to stay positive for a good reason. A negative attitude fuels fear and anxiety, keeping you from reaching your goals. You always think of what could go wrong instead of keeping an open mind.  

 

Keeping a positive attitude is good for your health too. It boosts your motivation and inner drive, helps you stay strong when times get tough and gives you a fresh perspective on the world around you. 

 

Try meditation, positive affirmation, yoga, or whatever it takes to ward off negative thoughts. Focus on the good in your life and hope for the best. Negativity leads nowhere; it's neither productive nor helpful.

 

3 Common Patterns of Self-Sabotage

It seems difficult to believe that people might do things not in their best interests. This behavior sometimes happens again and again. Don't people want to do what's best for them? Why would anyone knowingly take action in a way that has caused them some negative outcome in the past and threatens to do the same thing again?

 

This is what self-sabotage is. It's frustrating because it's often repetitive. A person continues to make decisions that produce a less-than-enjoyable result. Sometimes the person is so aware of what's going on that they will jokingly refer to the problems they will face if they act in some way (or don't act).

 

This happens because when we continually make choices that don't produce the greatest results, we are often driven by psychological or emotional influences. This can make it tough to spot self-defeating behavior. If you want to create more positive results in your life, keep an eye out for these three common patterns of self-sabotage.

 

1. Being a Perfectionist

 

You might think that attempting to be perfect is a positive trait. It really isn't. The people that succeed at the highest levels in their fields understand that they always need to push themselves, but they are also aware that perfection doesn't exist. 

 

You can always improve in some way. It makes sense to strive to improve in areas of your life because you know this can improve the quality of your life. That's admirable. 

 

A problem develops when this becomes an all-or-nothing mindset. It keeps you from taking action or getting involved in opportunities because before you even get started, you don't see the potential for a perfect outcome.

 

2. Embracing Extremes

 

Perhaps you never say no when a friend asks a favor. Before you know it, you have so many responsibilities that your life suffers. You place others before your needs. Maybe you lack moderation in some other way. Moderation helps you avoid self-sabotage that can cause problems in many aspects of your life.

 

3. Trying to Do It All Yourself

 

We all need help from time to time. The self-saboteur refuses to admit this. If you don't get help when needed, this can lead to failure. You have no one to blame if turning to your friends or loved ones for help is all you would have needed to be successful instead.

 

Remember that perfection doesn't exist in the human condition. Strive for moderation and steer clear of extremes. Get help when you need it. These are simple ways to avoid destructive and damaging behavior that can keep you from experiencing positive results.

 

Understanding What's Causing Your Self-Sabotaging Behavior

The English word sabotage has French origins. In the late 18th century, French laborers demanding better working conditions would make noise by beating their wooden shoes together. They would also throw these shoes, called sabots, into machinery to stop production as a protest.

 

A saboteur was someone who made noise with sabots. It wasn't until 1897 that Emile Pouget, a famous French anarchist of the time, wrote about the "action de saboter un travail," or "the action of sabotaging or bungling work."

 

The word “sabotage” these days is linked to those early definitions of its roots by referring to a deliberate action to cause disruption, obstruction, or destruction.

 

That means that self-sabotage is us getting in our own way. We consciously or unconsciously keep ourselves from achieving a goal. This destructive behavior can affect any area of a person's life and is difficult to stop without a plan proven to keep you on your path to success.

 

Understand, Stop, and Act Differently

 

Think about times when you did something that acted against your best interests. These were times when whatever you did caused some of the following feelings.

• Anger

• Emptiness

• Frustration

• Stress

• Loneliness

• Rejection

• Humiliation

• Self-Doubt

• Pessimism

• Failure

• Guilt

• Shame

We all experience these emotions at one time or another. When you consistently find these feelings arising because of something you've done and continue to do things that create these feelings, you might be working on a set of marching orders you gave yourself as a child.

 

Self-sabotage is most often caused because of unresolved psychological and emotional issues. Psychiatrists tell us that what influences our behaviors as adults is our upbringing. You could have encountered some situations when you were a child that still subconsciously makes you react in certain ways.

 

Knowing this is good. If you know a process leading to a negative result, you can destroy the process and get a positive outcome instead. Here's what to do.

 

Understand That Negative Programming Is at Work

 

Have a conversation when you catch yourself about to do something, and it's a behavior that has caused negative feelings and problems in your life. Remind yourself that some past issues may be causing you to believe that you deserve a negative consequence.

 

That's what's at work often when we do things that sabotage our lives. 

 

Once you understand that this is a negative process at work in your life, you have the power to make a different choice. Start looking for situations where your unconscious, knee-jerk reaction or conscious decision might lead to a negative outcome. Understand that you control your choices and that there are healthier options you can consciously choose.

 

Stop

 

Once you understand a self-sabotaging process might be at work, stop. Take some time to consider all your potential choices and their possible outcomes. If you can, walk away from making the choice right away. 

 

Look at your past. If you've faced similar situations, what decisions did you make, and what were the results? Instead of acting quickly and instinctively, which is sometimes not the best thing to do, stop and take some time to back away from taking action.

 

Act Differently

 

Here's where you have to be strong. You are going to be resisting very strong impulses. The first few times you do this, it will be very uncomfortable. You have lived with certain instincts for so long and given in to them, and now you'll fight them.

 

Be proud of yourself. You've made a conscious decision to understand what's going on. You know that you could instinctively be making some bad decisions. You stopped and backed away from the process, giving yourself time to think about multiple decisions and their outcomes.

 

Now you have a chance to act differently than you used to. Remember, if you want to enjoy something different than what you had in the past, you will have to do different things than you've been doing. This is the power of acting differently from your instinctive influences that, for whatever reason, are trying to hold you down or create a negative outcome.

 

Practice Makes Perfect

 

Changing decades of behavior is not going to happen overnight. The more you go through this process, the better you will become. You'll start identifying self-sabotaging thoughts and instincts and stopping yourself before you act upon them.

 

You should understand that making decisions that will lead to a better result can feel very uncomfortable. That's okay. This is a sign that you're trying to change emotional or psychological hardwiring that's been going on for a long time. Practice makes perfect. Keep at it. The fact that you want to stop self-sabotaging behavior means you have the mental and emotional resolve to do that.

You Can Beat Self-Sabotage with Self-Awareness

 

Is there some aspect of your life where you seem to have a blind spot? You catch yourself continually doing something that causes negative results. After you have endured failure or some negative emotion yet again, you promise yourself it won't happen in the future.

 

Then what happens? You find yourself back in the same situation.

 

You are far from a person who is out of control. You're a rational person. Most of your life is under control, and many people who care about you often remark they are jealous of your many positive character traits.

 

So why is it hard to create a positive outcome in a particular area of your life?

 

It isn't that you are lazy or don't have a strong desire to create change. It's not that you haven't put in the time or effort, either. If you often continue to underperform in some aspect of your life, it's because you are holding yourself back.

 

There Are Many Reasons for Self-Sabotage

 

Some people sabotage their own efforts because of a fear of failure. They stop trying when they are close to success because they are afraid they won't be able to get past that failure emotionally if they fail. So they stop trying.

 

Self-sabotage also happens because of psychological or emotional programming. Something that happened previously in your life is subconsciously leading to negative habits and actions. You may consciously desire to achieve something, but your efforts, no matter how hard you try, are sabotaged by negative mental programming.

 

Sometimes we get in the way of our best efforts because success might mean leaving our friends and loved ones behind. We may create such a great reality that the people we care about have no place in our new life. That can be a scary future to think about.

 

Self-Awareness Takes Honesty, and That Can Make You Uncomfortable

 

We move through much of our lives in a zombie-like state. Modern life is busy, hectic, and full of distractions. You might not have enough time to reflect deeply about who you are and what you do.

 

It's important to be aware of everything when you are working towards some goal. You might not be able to stop your actions beforehand. In this case, ask yourself what you did that kept you from being successful? Do you notice patterns that continue to create negative experiences in your life?

 

Do you ever have thoughts of not being good enough? After you embrace positive emotions and get motivated to make some big change, what slows you down? Why don't you keep moving forward with those powerful, positive feelings?

 

When you take action to create something positive in your life, be honest with yourself. What is your thought process? Are you trying to sabotage your results before you even get started? If you notice negative programming at work, remind yourself you can embrace any beliefs. 

 

Choose to believe you can succeed and continue to operate with that idea firmly in your mind.

 

Over time this self-awareness can help you identify self-sabotaging beliefs and actions that keep you from goal achievement. This can take time, but it's worth the work. It gives you power over unconscious mental programming and allows you to choose a success mindset instead.

Why a Positive Body Image Leads to a Happier Life

Maybe you've thought about working on your body image, but you can't see the purpose. After all, it doesn't affect anyone besides you. But the truth is, having a positive body image can go a long way towards transforming your life to be happier and healthier.

 

You’ll Be More Successful

 

When you are consumed by thoughts about why you hate your body, this takes up your time and energy. Your time and energy could be better suited for another purpose, such as achieving your goals in life. As we all know, achieving goals is a major component of experiencing happiness. 

 

You Will Meet More People

 

Friends tend to come and go as you grow. If you aren't feeling good about your body, this may make it difficult for you to make new friends as an adult. Therefore, if you have a positive body image, you will feel more confident introducing yourself to others. This confidence means that you are much more likely to have more friends throughout your life. Having an awesome group of friends is also an important part of happiness - maybe one of the most important.

 

You’ll Have Less Fear Of New Things

 

Along these same lines, when you have a negative body image, this can keep you from trying things that take you out of your comfort zone. Thus, your negative body image could lead to you missing out on an amazing experience that would change your life. And trying new things is also an essential aspect of attaining happiness. 

 

You’ll Be Able To Love Yourself

 

It's critical that you can love yourself because you will be spending the rest of your life with yourself. You can run from toxic people in your life, but you can't run from yourself. If you have a negative body image, you will not love yourself no matter how brilliant your mind may be. Love your body, love yourself. It really is just that simple.

 

If you want to live a happy life, you must have a positive view of your body. This is because having a positive body image will help you achieve your goals and meet new people who could change your life. In addition, you'll be able to try new things without fear and learn to love yourself wholly and truly—and all of these things will lead to you having a much happier life.  

Why You Should Accept Your “Flaws”

People always tell you that you should accept your flaws, but accepting your flaws is easier said than done. There are many reasons you should work to accept your flaws that could change your life.

 

Flaws Are A Distraction

 

When you are so focused on the parts of you that aren't perfect, this will distract you from your goals in life. Then instead of pursuing your goals, you'll be too busy thinking about your flaws. So when you accept your flaws, this gives you more time to pursue your purpose in life. 

 

You’ll Feel Lighter

 

Flaws tend you weigh you down. They sit heavy on your mind and prevent you from feeling good about yourself. Once you accept yourself just as you are, flaws and all, you will feel like a weight had been lifted off your shoulders - and this is a great feeling.

 

It Will Give You Perspective

 

Flaws aren’t all bad. For example, one of your flaws could be that you always throw yourself into an assignment too completely, which takes away from your other projects. Although this isn't a good thing, there are several ways you can make this flaw work for you. First, you need to accept the flaw so that you can gain some perspective on how you can work with it. 

 

You’ll Be Mentally Healthier

 

Thinking negative thoughts all the time isn’t good for you. And if you are focusing on your flaws, these are likely negative thoughts. Constant negative thinking like this can lead to serious issues, even depression, if you leave them unchecked. Once you accept your flaws, some negative thinking will go away, which will help you have a much happier mentality.

 

You Can Embrace Others’ Flaws

 

Now that you've accepted your flaws, the cool thing is, it will be easier to embrace others' flaws. This will improve your relationships with others just by accepting your flaws. And who doesn't want to have a better relationship with your friends, family, and significant other?

 

Overall, accepting your flaws isn't going to be an easy journey, but many aspects of your life will change for the better once you accept them. You'll not only feel better, but you'll feel lighter and be able to use your flaws to your advantage. By embracing your flaws, you can then use them to help you achieve success in life.  

 

8 Steps to Creating Momentum in Your Life

Has your get up and go, got up and went?

 

Momentum is the magic driving us forward. The problem is, sometimes, things happen that suck the momentum right out of the day. Illness, family emergency, even just waking up on the wrong side of the bed can all combine to make your day feel unproductive before you even set foot on the floor. 

 

How, then, do you create momentum and get things moving again? Try these eight steps:

 

Dream Big

 

Before you can even begin, you need to know what you’re aiming to accomplish. Here’s where you’re going to find exactly what to zero in on as you move forward. But if this is truly the case, why would you think small? Believe it or not, you’ll achieve much more if you challenge yourself. This is inviting yourself to grow!

 

Stay Focused…and Positive

 

This should go without saying. Keeping your eye on the prize is the only way to stay motivated when you need the most. Remind yourself you’re going to achieve your goal. Try a pep talk if necessary. Why? Negative self-talk will always limit your ability to accomplish your goals. With the right mindset, you can go wherever you decide to go.

 

Look for Inspiration

 

Need a little bit more of a boost? Think about your heroes. Who has been down this path before? Look for inspiring quotes. Put on music that moves you. Read biographies of people you admire. Remind yourself if others have succeeded where you are, you can too.

 

Focus on Your Habits

 

What are the behaviors and mannerisms standing in your way? This would be a great time to break some bad habits and maybe start cultivating some good ones. Where to focus? Look for whatever pushes you toward good health, a positive mental attitude, and a day filled with accomplishments.

 

Learn

 

Speaking of habits, how about picking up some new skills? Taking time out to better your mind will make you sharper and more creative in the day-to-day. Learning is also crucial to positive brain health, enhancing cognition along with your skillset.

 

Take Chances

 

The only thing really holding you back is you. This isn’t the time to play it safe. When you see an opportunity, seize it. You’ll be surprised at the paths opening up before you.

 

Countdown to Bravery

 

Having a hard time with risk-taking after all? Try this: Do a countdown from 5 and just do it. There’s no time for doubt when you’re in the midst of making things happen. The cool part? Acting brave tends to lead to honest-to-goodness real courage. Yes, that’s you out there doing something amazing.

 

Try, Try Again

 

In the end, if things don’t work, it’s ok. The main thing is not to lose the momentum you just created. Jump in there and start all over again, taking with you the lessons you’ve learned along the way.

 

4 Mindset Shifts That Will Help You Build Momentum in Your Life

The secret to getting things done lies in one simple word: Momentum.

 

Think about it. We learn first about momentum in physics when we’re taught: an object in motion tends to stay in motion. When applied to our lives, this becomes a powerful concept. 

 

Think about it. You have a goal you’re trying to reach. You make some effort toward achieving your goal, but you might be a little hit and miss. Sure, you’re excited initially, but eventually, life gets in the way. You get a bit sporadic about putting in the work. Ultimately, you stop altogether.

 

Momentum is what paints a different picture altogether. With momentum, initial enthusiasm won’t wane. In fact, as time goes by, the impetus toward getting things done increases, and things really start happening. With momentum, you find success where otherwise you might never have found it at all.

 

How to attain this magical concept?

 

Easy. Start with these for simple shifts of mindset, guaranteed to help build momentum in your life.

 

Tap into Passion

 

When we become excited about things, of course we can’t wait to jump in and get working. This is why bright, shiny new ideas are so distracting. On the other hand, imagine what happens when you feel that kind of enthusiasm all the time. To keep this mindset, it’s simply a matter of keeping your eyes on the goal. Remind yourself often what you’re trying to accomplish and why. Hold fast to these concepts.

 

Explore the Ending

 

Want to know how the story turns out? Skip to the last page. In the same way, if you're going to feel excited about the journey you’re on, take a look at the final destination. Visualize your project completed. What does success look like? Make this as tangible as possible, using all of your senses to describe the scene. Once you have this in mind, you’ll find you can’t wait to get there. This feeling fuels momentum.

 

Feel Gratitude

 

When we look at a situation and ask what we’re grateful for, we automatically shift our thinking to look for the good. By experiencing gratitude as you work toward your goal, you’ll build momentum off those good feelings. Positive thoughts lead to positive energy. How simple is that?

 

Let it Go

 

Sounds counterproductive to keeping momentum going, doesn’t it? However, letting go doesn’t mean giving up. It means laying down your load for a while to rest and recuperate. You can only keep momentum going for so long before you need to recharge your batteries. Work on being more aware of how you feel while working to reach your goal. Are you exhausted? Have brain fog? Are you feeling isolated? Perhaps you are missing out on too much of your family life? Some of the people who get the most accomplished know when to let go!

 

With these four mindsets, you’ll be amazed at how quickly momentum builds where before it was flagging. Remember, be intentional and focus on what you’re doing. The momentum will follow, and so will your success. 

 

7 Quick Things You Can do Today to Build Momentum

You’re on the way! You have a goal in mind, you’re working hard to get there. It might be you’re after something personal. It might be you’re concentrating solely on your career right now. Whatever it is you want, you’re hungry for it. You can’t wait to see the culmination of all this hard work. 

 

…only everything seems to be moving so slow…

 

What you’re lacking is momentum. Momentum is what pushes you into action. It speeds you up as you work the steps and keeps you going.

 

So, what do you do when momentum is lagging? Easy. You find ways to build it. Try these quick tips guaranteed to make things happen:

 

Visualize the Future

 

Take some time to consider where you’ll be in six months. What about next year or the next five years? Seeing yourself in the future is a really positive way to keep your momentum going. If you can get excited about the you of tomorrow, you’ll find yourself fighting to become that person right now.

 

Get Up and Do Something

 

It’s so easy to grow stagnant. Rather than binge-watch the latest Netflix sitcom, how about getting up to create some mischief of your own? Go play a game, take a walk, spend time with friends. Do inspirational things to fill you with enthusiasm.

 

Learn Stuff

An active mind is a creative mind. The act of learning, even in small increments such as 10-15 minutes a day, will still improve cognitive function. In short, by keeping your mind active, you will pick up momentum.

 

Act When You Don’t Feel Like It

 

If you’re waiting for the muse to strike, stop. There will never be a perfect time to work. Momentum means keeping going, even when you don’t feel like it. 

 

Put Your Phone Away

 

Giving yourself the gift of uninterrupted time does wonders for momentum. By turning off your phone for an hour, you’ll give yourself the freedom to relax, recharge, explore, and forge ahead.

 

Quit

 

When it comes to momentum, if you’ve found you’re slowing down, it might be because what you’re doing just doesn’t work. In this case, sometimes the smartest thing to do is to stop. Don’t waste time beating your head against a wall when you could be making progress elsewhere.

 

Do Something Scary

 

It’s the challenge that pushes you to new limits. When you do what’s easy, momentum lags. This is why it’s so important to challenge yourself to do the things you never thought you would.

 

Remember, whatever you can find to help keep the momentum going, embrace! If affirmations help, post a bunch of them everywhere. Put on music to get you moving. Create a social life around people who support you wholeheartedly. You’re the one in charge of your destiny, it’s up to you to act. 

 

How Does People Pleasing Hurt Us?

Maybe you've recently discovered that you are a people pleaser. What is so wrong with that? You like to make others happy! 

 

The truth is, people-pleasing is a damaging behavior for several reasons. Keep reading to learn more about the dangers of people-pleasing and how it may be hurting you. 

 

People Pleasing Can Damage Your Physical Health

 

When you take on risks and activities you aren't comfortable with just to make someone else happy, you are being a people-pleaser. These risks and activities can lead to physical damage.

 

Here is a question, have you ever gotten hurt doing something stupid to impress somebody? Yeah, don't worry - we all have.  

 

You Can Damage Your Mental Health

 

Besides your physical health, your mental health is in jeopardy when you constantly people-please. As a people pleaser, you often don't make enough time to care for yourself, and self-care is essential for maintaining mental health. When you disregard your mental health for too long, this can cause serious conditions like burnout and depression. 

 

You May Get Into a Toxic Relationship

 

People pleasers don't know how to say no, and sadly, there are people out there that will take advantage of this fact. Namely - toxic people who like to control others. Toxic relationships are unhealthy, as they frequently contain mental - or even physical - abuse.

 

It is extremely difficult to leave toxic relationships, so difficult in fact that many people don't get out soon enough. If you are a constant people-pleaser, you will find it harder to spot (and listen to) the signs indicating someone is toxic. 

 

You Won't Be As Successful

 

In addition to all the physical and mental damage, people-pleasing can cause, it also keeps you from achieving your dreams. You are so focused on saying yes to others and making them happy that you put what you need to do on the backburner. This means that someday you could come to realize you are working a job that you hate in a city you hate—all because you couldn't say no and tell others that you needed to focus on yourself. 

 

As you can see, being a people pleaser is quite dangerous all around. It hurts your physical and mental health and keeps you from success. So if you want to live a happy and healthy life filled with success, it's time to stop being a people pleaser right away.