5 Common Public Speaking Mistakes

Even though most people don’t enjoy public speaking, there are strategies to doing it well. You don’t have to be a professional speaker to make an impact on your audience. One way to feel most comfortable speaking in front of others is to recognize and avoid these top 5 mistakes.

1. Memorizing or reading your entire presentation. 

 

Your audience came to hear you speak to them - not read or deliver a rote, memorized performance. Your responsibility is to communicate with your audience, not at them. By treating your audience as if you were having a conversation in your living room, you will find that you are much more comfortable and in better control of your nervousness. 

2. Not knowing your material.

 

If you are not familiar with your words or how your speech or presentation is meant to flow, then you are likely to make more errors. Making a mistake or two is not the issue - making a lot of them is! 

3. Speaking too fast.

 

Controlling your speed is extremely important if you expect your audience to be able to understand what you are saying. Listening to someone move at 100 mph takes much more energy than listening to them at 75! Incidentally, talking at a furious pace saps your energy as well. 

4. Staring at an object on the wall. 

 

You should not focus your attention on a spot on the wall or above the heads of your audience. Look the audience in the eye. Make that contact with your listeners, and you will then be aware of their reaction to you. Remember, public speaking is a form of communication. If you are not making eye contact, then you are not communicating. 

5. Running Out of Air.

 

Breathlessness on the podium is one of the most common mistakes made because many novice speakers do not think to breathe. If you wait until you are totally out of breath, you will then be required to inhale a huge amount of air in order to fill your lungs. In doing so, you will experience breathlessness and a tightness in your chest. My advice is to learn to breathe with the support of your diaphragm - truly the best means of controlling nervousness - and then practice supplementing your air supply before you are depleted. 

 

These 5 common mistakes can be easily rectified if you know your material, converse with your audience, learn how to control your speed, make eye contact with your listeners and remember to breathe.

8 Top Public Speaking Tips

So, you've got to give a speech in public? Once your stomach stops churning, here are some public speaking tips that should make your job easier. 

 

1. Outline your speech 

 

Write out what you are going to talk about. Your outline should cover all the points you want to make in your speech, in a reasonably logical order. 

 

2. Make notes 

 

One of the easiest ways is to use old-fashioned 3x5 index cards. Each one should have a bullet point on it that you can expand on. If you're using a PowerPoint slide show, then this should give you the basis for your notes. 

 

3. Practice your presentation 

 

Stand in front of a mirror and practice your speech. If you're likely to be embarrassed, do this while no one else is at home. Speaking out loud is a necessary part of this practice. Sure, it may be uncomfortable the first few times you try it, but you'll get better as you go along. Note where you stumble—this will help you decide where you need to change your speech slightly. 

 

4. Talk to one person 

 

It doesn't matter whether you're talking in a business meeting with one other person or addressing hundreds, or even thousands, of people. Talk as though you are talking face-to-face with one person. If you've got a large audience, focus on one person and talk to them. 

 

5. Stay away from humor 

 

Unless you're a renowned after dinner speaker, humor is best left out of your speech. Not everyone shares the same sense of humor so you’re likely to either fall flat (no one will laugh) or you’ll offend someone unintentionally. It’s safest to just avoid humor unless it’s spontaneous.

 

6. Don't fidget 

 

If you've got a podium then there's a natural place to put your hands. If you haven't, plan ahead of time what you’ll do with your hands so you don't fidget or gesture too much. Fidgeting makes you look nervous! 

 

7. If you stumble, carry on 

 

Most of your audience will be relieved that it's not them giving the speech. If you stumble, recover as fast as you can. Do your best not to get flustered and make sure you keep your place in your speech so you can recover from any glitches quickly. 

 

8. Keep it short 

 

Unless you've been told that you absolutely have to speak for a set amount of time, stick to the idea that less is more. Don't bore your audience. Ideally, they should be wanting more when you've finished your set speech. 

How to Craft the Ideal Elevator Speech

Networking is one of the key tools that can make the difference between a good career and a great career. Many people shy away from networking or fumble around when meeting new people because they don’t know what to say about themselves. They’re missing an opportunity to connect with the very people who need them! The secret is in crafting a short and powerful “elevator speech.”

 

The most effective elevator speeches are succinct, carefully-crafted messages that immediately tell someone why he or she needs to hire you. An elevator speech should tell the listener: 

 

1. What you do

 

Consider what you do. Then think about how you distinguish yourself from the other people in your niche and what makes you unique and memorable.

 

2. Who your target audience is

 

Visualize your ideal audience member. Think about what that person is lacking or what problems they have.

3. What need you fill

 

In this step, think about how you fill the need of that audience and what skills or talents you have that they need. 

4. What result you would like from this encounter

 

The last part of the elevator speech helps you to take this contact to the next level. What are you looking for? A meeting? A name of someone who can help you? A resource? Ask!

 

This type of elevator speech focuses on your target audience: what they lack, what they need and why you are the best person to solve their problems. This type of message is more likely to encourage your listener to talk to you, find out more about what you do, have another meeting and eventually hire you or refer you to someone who will hire you. 

 

Put these elements together using the following template: 

 

As a ____________________________________________________

                                  (Describe yourself) 

 

I help____________________________________________________ 

                                 (Your target audience) 

 

to _______________________________________________________

   (Describe the need that you fill for your target audience) 

 

so that they ________________________________________________

                                 (The benefits that they gain) 

 

Here's what I would love for us to do: ______________________________

                                                       (Your goal from this encounter) 

 

You can refine your Elevator Speech in a few ways: 

 

1. Change any long words or jargon into everyday language 

2. Cut out unnecessary words 

3. Finalize your speech by making sure it is no more than 90 words long (excluding the last part where you state your goal). 

 

Practice your speech so that you are comfortable with the message, and you feel authentic when saying it. Try it out in front of a mirror and then say it to your family and friends. 

4 Ways Introverts Can Enjoy More Social Confidence

We used the word "enjoy" in that title for a reason. Social confidence is important for building relationships. This is true of the introvert, the extrovert and the average person which is somewhere between those two personality extremes.

 

You can enjoy a much more successful career when you have powerful social skills. Your personal relationships benefit. The person who's confident when interacting with others has a high level of self-esteem. They enjoy a powerful self-belief that they are capable in social situations.

 

That's not to say that introverts don't have wonderful and rewarding lives. They simply have a view of their best life that's different from an extroverted person.

 

By the way, it's often believed that introverts despise interacting with people. That's almost never the case. It's simply that they would prefer to spend more time on their own. That's how they recharge their batteries. The extroverted person does the same thing by spending a lot of time with other people. Each of these individuals is different in many ways, and no one approach is worse or better than the other.

 

That having been said, introverts often want better skills at socializing. They understand they can improve some aspect of their life if they had more confidence when dealing with people. If this sounds like you, we're here to help. Here are 4 ways that have been proven to help introverts build confidence in social settings.

 

1. Don't Overdo It

 

Introverts can enjoy socializing just as much as introverts. In many cases they do. The difference is that the introverted person loses physical and mental energy from socializing too frequently or for too long. 

 

If you want to perform better in social situations, limit your exposure. Pick your battles. Don't try to drink from a fire hydrant. Plan short periods of time where you're going to expand your social skills over the next week or month. When you feel your energy starts to wane, return home or wherever it is you feel most comfortable recharging your batteries.

 

2. Prepare Ahead of Time

 

You might be an introvert that doesn't have much experience interacting with others. That's okay. You can learn how to socialize. Do some prep work before you know you're going to deal with others. 

 

Think of the conversation beforehand. What's the environment going to be like? Who's going to be there? This type of homework can help you succeed in social situations and become more confident and capable.

 

3. Remember … Rome Wasn't Built in a Day

 

The old saying that it took a long time to build one of the greatest civilizations in human history is important here. Big accomplishments don't happen overnight. If you are extremely introverted, work on one step at a time to become more of a social animal. 

 

Maybe the first thing you want to do is get comfortable leaving your house. You might leave your home and walk 100 feet down the road and then return home. If that's a big deal for you, give yourself a huge pat on the back!

 

You did great. Once you're comfortable leaving home, then strike up a conversation with a stranger. Take one small step at a time and before you know it you'll have walked a mile down the road to improving your social skills.

 

4. Look at Rejection like a Successful Salesperson

 

The best salespeople get excited when they hear, "No." They know that every rejection gets them closer to making their next sale. You can look at social rejection the same way. See the situation objectively. What can you learn? What did you do right? What did you do wrong? Take rejection or social failure as an opportunity to get better, and then move on.

 

Introverts aren't necessarily scared of people. They usually aren't. They just prefer to spend a minimal amount of time in the presence of others. If this is yo, and you want to build your social confidence, the tips we just shared with you can help. They make you feel more comfortable when interacting with people. You'll also be proud of yourself for stepping out of your comfort zone.

Socially Confident People Know It's Not Always about Them

Sometimes a lack of confidence comes from internalizing your thoughts. You're thinking about what you are doing wrong, what you could do better, and why you aren't good enough to make friends or socialize in some other way. Those thought patterns can wreck your social confidence so much that you withdraw and simply avoid interacting with other people.

 

The socially confident person knows that the focus should be on others. That's what socializing is all about, isn't it? It's about interacting with others, not yourself. This is why social confidence leads to a person reaching out rather than inward.

 

You can start believing in your ability to interact with others by thinking about them and not so much about yourself. Ask them how they feel. Compliment them on their clothing. Get them talking about their thoughts and emotions rather than you focusing on your own.

 

This is just one way socially confident men and women approach human interaction. They also understand that if their effort at socializing doesn't work, it's not always about them.

 

You Can't Control Other People

 

Imagine the following scenario. You don't always feel comfortable in social settings. You're at a work event you had to attend. There are a bunch of people you don't know there. In fact, you only know a couple of people out of several dozen.

 

You decide to stake take a step out of your comfort zone. 

 

You approach someone, put a smile on your face, and introduce yourself. They begrudgingly return your greeting, and don't look too happy that you approached them. You stick to your guns. You make a comment about some workplace incident that happened recently. The person responds with a disinterested look and simply walks away.

 

How do you perceive that interaction?

 

The socially confident person doesn't care. She feels good about herself. She took a step out of her comfort zone and greeted a total stranger. That was big for her. She is learning to be socially confident.

 

It's not her fault that the other person is having a bad day or for whatever reason didn't want to communicate with her. She shrugs off the event and moves on to someone else.

 

Understand that you can do everything right and someone might not respond to you favorably. That's just life. Don't beat yourself up. You can never understand what's going on in another person's mind or in their life. You do what you need to do to build your social skills. That's all you can do. It's all you have control over, your own actions.

 

Be happy that you tried something when you weren't really comfortable. Congratulate yourself for the effort, knowing that everyone won't respond in a negative way to your attempts at socializing.

Age Better By Nurturing Key Relationships

One of the best things you can do for yourself to ensure that you age more gracefully is to nurture all the key relationships in your life. By taking good care of these relationships, you can give yourself an essential pillar of support as you ease into the later years of your life.

 

How can well-nurtured relationships help you age better?

 

Well-nurtured relationships can help you age better in a few key ways:

 

1. They establish a support system within your life.

 

By nurturing key relationships, you ensure that you are building a strong support system you can call upon whenever you need it. By putting in the time, energy, and effort to build these relationships, you make them stronger and stronger. In your later years, knowing these people will be there for you can make aging feel less intimidating.

 

2. They help you see other people’s experiences with aging more closely. 

 

Close relationships with others give you intimate glimpses into their lives–and this means you will likely see some of your close friends and family go through their own aging experiences, too. This can help you feel better about your own experience by having others you can relate with on a close, personal level. 

 

3. They keep you socially active and engaged.

 

Being socially active is a great way to age better. Having friends and family to spend time with helps you remain socially active and engaged, which can help you age a lot better than you would if you were alone. 

 

What are some methods for nurturing the key relationships in your life?

 

Struggling to nurture the key relationships in your life? Consider implementing these strategies to make it easier:

 

1. Be supportive. 

 

Show up and support the people in your lives–especially when they need it most. Make an effort to be present and helpful whenever you can. Doing so will not only help them, but also strengthen your relationship. 

 

2. Be more empathetic.

 

Practice putting yourself into another person’s shoes, especially when they are experiencing a difficult time. Doing so will make it easier to understand their feelings so you can relate to them easier and strengthen your relationship.

 

3. Honor your time together.

 

When you have an opportunity to spend time with the people you love, take it. Spending good, quality time together is an essential way to nurture relationships. Time together builds trust, brings new memories, and strengthens your bond with them.

 

4. Keep the lines of communication open. 

 

Communication is a key component of any successful relationship. Make sure you keep the lines of communication open and flowing between you and the other important people in your life. Good, strong communication with each other leaves little room for misunderstandings and helps build a sense of trust.

 

5. Be appreciative and express gratitude.

 

Make sure you are telling the people who matter most to you how important they are. Take opportunities to be appreciative of your relationships and show other people plenty of gratitude. When other people know you appreciate them, it helps strengthen your mutual bond. 

 

6. Be patient during tough times.

 

No relationships are perfect. All people will experience disagreements, conflicts, and issues with one another–it’s a perfectly normal and natural part of being in any sort of relationship with another person, even someone you really love and trust. During these “low” periods, be patient. Remember that it is normal to go through rough patches and be patient with yourself and the other person. You can work through your hard times and emerge on the other side of disagreements in a healthy way.

 

The Power of No: Setting Boundaries for a Healthier You

“No is a complete sentence.”- Annie Lamott

Many of us people pleasers find it difficult to say no and establish boundaries. This often leads to us over-extending ourselves to others and feeling resentful when our boundaries are constantly crossed. But how can we expect others to respect our boundaries when we aren’t even communicating properly and saying no?

Learning how to say ‘no’ and set firm yet healthy boundaries is the key to mental peace and maintaining healthy relationships with others. Having loose boundaries and not being able to say no often leads to us feeling overwhelmed and burnt out. 

Understandably, we all want to be liked by others, but people-pleasing is not the way to go. It just allows others to walk all over us continuously. 

The Importance of Setting Boundaries

While it can be challenging to set boundaries with difficult people, it is important and the key to forming healthy relationships and taking care of your well-being. Saying no to things that do not serve you or you simply do not have the time for can help you focus on yourself and your priorities. It can enable you to create a balance in all aspects of your life. 

For example, if your boss asks you to come in and work on the weekends or expects you to work overtime late at night, it is important to set firm boundaries with your work, learn to say no respectfully, and create a work-life balance for your well-being. This helps you avoid any undue stress and helps you focus on other things in your life that might give you purpose or energize you like your family or hobbies. 

Healthy boundaries can free you from unrealistic expectations from others and the resentments that come with them. They can help you avoid conflicts in relationships. Setting healthy boundaries with your partner, friends, kids, or any other relationship you may have in your life can allow you to nurture these relationships, conserve energy, and save you from a lot of drama and toxicity. 

How to Set and Maintain Healthy Boundaries 

1. Find Your ‘Why’

 

Reflect on the reason you want to set a boundary. Perhaps something in your relationship or friendship is making you resentful and uncomfortable and you want to set a boundary with your friend to preserve your mental and emotional well-being. 

Start small. 

Start slowly and set a few boundaries initially and build them up slowly. Don’t go to an extreme level and set up rigid and unhealthy boundaries that you will not be able to maintain in the long run. Go at your own comfortable pace and make changes as needed. 

2. Set Boundaries Early On

Consider setting boundaries early on in a relationship as it can be hard to start putting boundaries around pre-existing relationships. For example, you could set boundaries early on with in-laws when you get engaged or married. This way you set expectations to be a certain way from the beginning avoiding any confusion or hurt in relationships. 

3. Stay Firm and Consistent

When setting boundaries, it is important to not let them slide as it will make people not take you seriously and just add to the confusion. Staying firm can help reinforce your boundaries. 

4. Communicate When Your Boundaries are Crossed

Confidently communicate when someone disrespects and crosses your boundaries continuously. You can communicate assertively and effectively without sounding aggressive or confrontational and still assert your boundaries. 

For example, if someone keeps calling you late at night repeatedly you could say something like, “I can see you want to get a hold of me, but the best thing would be to text me, and I will get back to you when I have the time in the morning.” This assertively highlights their behavior and sets and maintains your boundaries.

Setting boundaries and saying no to things that do not serve you can be an empowering experience and help you maintain great relationships. While setting your boundaries, it is also important to recognize the boundaries of other people and respect them just as you would expect them to respect yours. 

Try not to violate the boundaries of other people as it can cause resentment and contempt to build them which leads to toxicity in relationships and people withdrawing from others who may cross their boundaries. 

It is possible to set boundaries without being aggressive, confrontational, or upsetting people. Don’t feel guilty about setting boundaries and take it as an act of self-care and something crucial to your overall well-being.