If You Want Less Stress and Anxiety, Learn to Empathize More

Stress is a killer. You might hear someone say, "The stress at my job is killing me!" They could be overstating the situation. In many cases though, stress can quite literally kill you.

 

Chronic stress is related to the six leading causes of death. It's believed that more than 75% of all trips to the emergency room or a doctor are stress-related. So the next time a friend tells you stress is killing him, you might want to take that statement seriously.

 

Ask anyone you know and they'll tell you of a stressful situation they experienced recently. This is an unfortunately common occurrence. You might have too much stress in your own life.

 

For a number of reasons, you can benefit from stressing less and relaxing more often. If that sounds like something you'd enjoy, just learn to empathize more.

 

How Empathy Leads to Less Stress and Depression

 

An empathetic person can place themselves in the emotional experience of someone else. That's the first part of empathy. The part of the empathetic process some people forget is responding in a way that's helpful.

 

You see a coworker has a huge workload. She's stressing out and you know there's no possible way she can hit a proposed deadline. You communicate to her that even though her productivity is excellent and she's a great worker, you don't know how she's going to get everything done. 

 

You just paid her a compliment. You saw her emotions were frazzled and she wasn't in a good place mentally. So, you said something nice about her ability on the job.

 

The next thing you can do after you identify with her situation is to provide assistance. Offer to help her tackle some of her responsibilities. When you do, your coworker will thank you. She'll experience less stress, and science tells us that you'll also have less stress, anxiety and depression.

 

When you learn to recognize that someone else is experiencing negative emotions, you want to help. This is the response for most people. What also happens is that you subconsciously recognize that you're not in that situation. You can understand your coworker's emotional stress, but you aren't experiencing the same thing yourself.

 

Dr. Jamil Zaki is a psychology professor and the director of the Social Neuroscience Laboratory in Stanford. He says empathy can help you see past the many differences people have. It helps you move past prejudice or bias. These are negative emotions. They can produce a stress response in your body. Empathy doesn't allow that to develop.

 

Dr. Zaki also says empathy makes people happier in their relationships and even more successful at work. Studies show us that an empathetic person learns how to process his or her own emotions properly by being able to recognize the emotions other people are going through. That means being more empathetic in your life cannot only help others, but it can also give you a wonderful boost of less stress and more peace of mind.

 

A Simple 3-Step Process to Practice More Empathy

An empathetic person can identify with what someone else is experiencing. They may have had the same experience before. This isn't necessary to practice empathy. You might just be very good at putting yourself in another person's mindset.

 

Someone tells you they lost their job. They're going through so many different negative emotions. They're concerned about their mortgage payment and other financial issues.

 

A person that loses a dream job could start wondering what happened. It took them a long time to get the job they always wanted. They might have been a great employee. Then something occurred that was out of their control. Perhaps the company went bankrupt.

 

This individual could start questioning his own role in the failure of the company. A ton of different negative emotions might be experienced. The empathetic person is able to fully embrace the emotions the other person is going through even if they've never lost a job before.

 

You might want to help your friends and family members by displaying more empathy. You care about them and want to help them when they're in need. If that's the case, simply put into practice the following three-step technique for showing empathy.

 

Step 1 – Listen Actively

 

You might be a good listener. But are you an active listener? Do you just sit there with a blank expression and take in everything that's being said?

 

An active listener uses body language, facial expressions and eye movement to let the person speaking know that they're engaged and present. They are truly and deeply listening. 

 

You use open-ended questions to try to get more information from the speaker. Active listening uses anything at your disposal to get the speaker to share more information. You communicate to that person that their feelings are understood.

 

Step 2 – Validate the Experience

 

People often tell you what's on their minds because they want you to validate what they're saying. They need to know that it's okay to have certain feelings or think a specific way. When you validate a tough situation, someone's experiencing, you let them know they're not alone.

 

You validate an experience by adopting the same feelings and emotions. Tell the person that you're sharing the experience with them and that it's okay. They should recognize whatever emotions are happening. Then the empathetic person tries to figure out what can be done to fix the problem.

 

Step 3 – Offer Advice

 

Empathy is a two-part process. You take on the perspective of another person. You develop an understanding emotionally of what that person is going through. The second part involves action. You provide assistance of some kind. You try to help the person with their struggle. 

 

One way you can do this is by offering smart advice. Remember to think about their situation and not yours. Don't include any bias or judgment. Put yourself in their shoes and then give them advice to help them out of their problem.

 

Showing empathy means you care. It tells people you're putting your own interests aside for a while. The three-step process we just covered can help you show empathy to the people you care about. You'll find that you benefit as much as they do by making an emotional connection.

 

5 Techniques for Using Affirmations to Enhance Your Relationship

Affirmations are powerful positive statements. You may be aware of them as a tool for self-improvement or to help you reach your goals. Did you know that affirmations can help improve your relationships with your partner, family, friends, and even your colleagues?

 

By choosing your words carefully and meaningfully, you can improve relationships in every area of your life. 

 

1. Show Empathy

 

You can use affirmations to show the other person that you see their feelings and acknowledge them. Affirmations can be used as a component of active listening. Listen to what they are saying, without interrupting, and when you do speak, you reflect back what they said to you. You acknowledge where they are and give them space to vent or celebrate or just get their message across. 

 

The key to showing empathy is to make sure you don’t contradict or negate their feelings. Don’t offer advice or give a contrary opinion. Just stand with them in their space. 

 

2. Be Authentic

 

Make sure your affirmations are coming from a place of sincerity. Don’t say things you don’t mean. Keep your affirming messages to the point and focused on the other person. 

 

Affirmations that are economical with the truth or speak out of character will undermine your relationship, not build it. Make sure you speak from the heart. And you don’t have to use flowery language, just be nice. 

 

3. Tell Your Loved Ones They’re Loved

 

Saying I love you early in a relationship is easy. But as time goes on, it’s easy to let endearments slide. Get into the habit of telling your partner, your children, your family, your friends how much you love them. Don’t take it for granted that they feel loved, make sure they know it!

 

4. Say Thank You

 

When was the last time you said thank you for a home-cooked meal? Or for proofreading your job application? Or even for taking the garbage out?

 

No act of kindness should go unacknowledged. Show your family and friends and colleagues that you appreciate what they do for you. Affirm their role in your life. 

 

5. Give Public Praise

 

Sometimes the best affirmations come in the form of public acknowledgment. Give credit where it’s due to your team members, your partner, and your kids. Show them you're grateful and proud of them. Make it a point to acknowledge the extra effort and exceptional achievements.

 

Beyond the Number: Practical Steps to Embrace an Age-Positive Life

We've all heard the saying, "Age is just a number." But how do we translate that sentiment into everyday life? How do we dismantle ageist stereotypes and cultivate a genuinely inclusive mindset for ourselves and those around us?

 

The good news is, it's not magic; it's action. Here are some practical steps you can take to embrace an age-positive life:

 

Challenge your own biases:

 

• Awareness is key. Take time to reflect on your own subconscious biases about aging. Do you associate youth with energy and potential while linking older age with decline and limitations? Recognize these thoughts as internalized stereotypes and actively work to challenge them.

• Flip the script. Instead of focusing on perceived limitations, consider the strengths and wisdom that come with experience. Consider older adults as mentors, resource pools, and valuable societal contributors.

 

Embrace lifelong learning:

 

• Curiosity is ageless. Never stop learning, growing, and exploring new interests. Whether taking a class, picking up a new hobby, or simply engaging in stimulating conversations, keep your mind active and receptive to new ideas.
• Become a mentor. Share your knowledge and experience with younger generations. Volunteering as a tutor, coach, or community leader can be mutually rewarding, fostering connections and breaking down age barriers.

 

Combat ageism in everyday life:

 

• Use inclusive language. Avoid ageist terms like "senior citizen" or "over the hill." Instead, use respectful and person-centered language focusing on individual identities and contributions.
• Challenge ageist assumptions. Stop making assumptions about what someone can or cannot do based on their age. It would help to treat everyone with respect and dignity, regardless of their years on the planet.
• Advocate for positive change. Speak up against age discrimination in the workplace, healthcare system, and other areas of society. Support age-inclusive policies and initiatives that promote fair treatment and opportunities for all.

 

Build bridges across generations:

 

• Seek out intergenerational connections. Spend time with people of different ages, from young children to older adults. Share stories, learn from each other, and celebrate each generation's unique perspectives.
• Organize intergenerational activities. Participate in events or programs that unite different age groups, such as community service projects, cultural celebrations, or intergenerational learning initiatives.
• Embrace family connections. Cherish relationships with grandparents, parents, children, and other family members across the age spectrum. These bonds offer invaluable support, love, and a sense of belonging, regardless of age differences.

 

Resources for your age-positive journey:

 

• Books: "Younger" by Alexandra Robbins, "Disrupt Aging" by Aubrey de Grey, "The Longevity Book" by David Sinclair
• Websites: The National Center to Reframe Aging, The Global Coalition on Aging, The MacArthur Foundation's Initiative on Successful Aging
• Organizations: AARP, Eldercare Locator, The National Council on Aging

 

Remember, embracing an age-positive mindset is a continuous journey. There will be stumbles and challenges along the way, but every step you take towards breaking down age barriers and fostering inclusion makes a difference. Let's celebrate the richness and diversity of human experience, regardless of the number on the calendar. Together, we can create a world where age is truly just a number, and everyone has the opportunity to thrive at any stage of life.

 

5 Tips for Increased Productivity While Working Remotely

Different studies indicate that remote workers are highly productive. What makes them get more done sitting at home, the diner, or the library? They understand that being productive outside of the typical office environment requires proactive steps. They don’t have their manager physically checking in to ensure they are getting their work done.

 

If you can work offsite, such as at home, you will quickly learn that staying productive is hard. You will have distractions around you, like that stack of dirty dishes from last night that is still sitting in the sink.

 

How You Can Increase Your Productivity While Working Remotely

 

All the productivity hacks in the world will not work if you don’t implement them. Here are five action steps you can take to not only maintain your productivity but also increase it: 

 

Establish Priorities: Start by discussing things with your manager. You might believe completing a specific responsibility is the most important, but your boss thinks differently. Once you know what is expected, then you can be sure to accomplish it.

 

Determine Your Best Work Time: This goes with the night-owl versus morning person premise. Working remotely means you have greater flexibility. If you focus better at 8 PM when your toddler is in bed, do it. It is the same idea for morning lovers. You don’t have to wait until 9 AM to get started. The goal is to find large blocks of quiet time for those projects that require concentration.

 

Set a Timer and Do Deep Work: It will be much easier if you set a timer for 45 minutes and focus on one task. After the timer goes off, get up and walk around the house, grab some water, and stretch for 15 minutes. 

 

Set Boundaries: If you have others in the house when you work, you will continually get interrupted. Start by setting physical boundaries, such as working from a different room or putting up a room partition around your desk area. Next, talk with your partner and family about how important it is not to disrupt you when you are “at work.”

 

Overcommunicate: It may seem counter-intuitive to spend extra time communicating when sending both emails and Slack messages, but the text can be misconstrued. This causes frustration and may slow the progress of a project. Ensure you continually communicate with your team and set up video calls to clear up any miscommunication.

 

Wow your teammates and your manager when you take productivity to a new level. Soon, you will be the star of the show and enjoy all the perks of working remotely.

 

How To Use Your Years Of Wisdom For A Better You

Becoming wise takes years of experience. Through our falls and triumphs, we slowly acquire this innate sense of what to do and when.

 

With wisdom, you learn how to learn from your mistakes, rather than be ashamed of them. You become better at knowing when to ask for help and understand that it doesn’t mean you’re weak or helpless.

 

In addition, you evolve into someone more interested in showing compassion and empathy rather than taking a self-centered approach. As a result, you begin to influence others simply by setting a good example.

 

One of the best things about wisdom is that it’s a skill that can be developed at any age. More importantly, is that we can put it to good use in our lives, for example, when we make decisions, build relationships, and nurture success.

 

So, how can you use your years of wisdom for a better you? That’s what we’re here today to find out!

 

Is Wisdom the Same as Knowledge?

 

No, they’re not the same. Wisdom encompasses a lot of things, including knowledge, experience, pattern recognition, empathy, engagement, and more.

 

Hence, without knowledge, you can’t gain wisdom.

 

Here’s why:

 

Knowledge is knowing certain pieces of information regarding specific topics. It acts as the foundation on which we can build our experiences from learning and failing.

 

Wisdom, on the other hand, is the ability to apply and put this information to good use. It can’t be claimed until we can learn and accept our mistakes and accomplishments.

 

Only then can you begin to improve your understanding of the world and make good decisions in almost every situation.

 

At its core, wisdom is realizing that life isn’t knowing all the right answers, but it’s knowing the right questions to ask.

 

How To Make The Most Of Your Wisdom

 

According to numerous studies, researchers discovered that a healthy gut microbiome is typically characterized by phylogenetic diversity and richness. Yet, what was even more fascinating is that they found that these healthy microbiomes were almost always associated with higher levels of wisdom and compassion.

 

Being able to empathize and see things from other people’s vantage points is one of the tenets of being wise. It also allows you to hone in on the needs, motivations, and fears of others.

 

Feel Less Isolated

 

Other studies found that wisdom is often correlated with fewer bouts of loneliness. This probably comes from the fact that wise people are often more tuned in with their emotional needs.

 

They’re also more willing to try new things and meet new people because they know it’s a great way to expand their horizons and open the door to a new learning experience.

 

Establish Personal Boundaries

 

Wisdom also brings with it just the right balance between your personal boundaries and those of others. So, you’re able to make contributions at home, work, and in your community without feeling the burnout that usually comes with taking on more than you can handle.

 

This ability to effectively navigate through life could be one of the factors that wisdom is linked to lower levels of anxiety, stress, and other mental health issues.

 

Foster Emotional Awareness

 

Knowing how to be aware of your feelings and emotions can help you take action when you start feeling things becoming too much to handle. Also, when you’re guided by wisdom, you tend to think before you act.

 

Embrace Change

 

Allowing wisdom to guide you allows you to have a more positive mindset. This makes accepting change and dealing with hard times more effortless.

 

Having an open-minded and hopeful approach to life is also a great way to see things more clearly, which leads to better decision-making.

 

Conclusion

 

Learning how to use your years of wisdom is critical for living a life of fulfillment and success. We listed several practical ways to put your wisdom to good use. Now, it’s up to you to apply them to everyday life.

 

Each one may not be easy to do at first. However, the time and effort you put in to reap the benefits of applying your wisdom will certainly be worth it in the long run.

 

6 Tips For Transitioning Into Retirement

It’s no secret that experiencing change can be a challenge. You’ll find this is true even when the transition you’re going through entails something long desired. The reason is, by and large, people are creatures of habit. So, when life’s rhythms get altered the upheaval can be immense.

 

The decision to bring your career to a close is one that invariably brings many feelings to the surface. Some of these feelings will be positive, and others, not so much.

 

A little bit of planning can help you through this process in as seamless and painless a fashion as possible. The following six tips for transitioning into retirement will help you on your path.

 

1.     Mitigate Financial Risks

 

Recent studies¹ have shown there are five major financial risks facing retirees: policy risk, market risk, health risk, longevity risk, and family risk.  Of these, the risks that most consistently become a problem for people are longevity risk (outliving resources) and health risk (medical bills/long-term care).  

 

The good news is that these are risks you can mitigate in many ways. For example, you can take care not to underestimate how long you will live, be realistic about the expenses involved in healthcare, and acknowledge the possibility of needing assistance later in life. 

 

In addition, if you take good care of yourself (physically, mentally, and emotionally) now, you will increase the likelihood of aging with grace and potentially reduce your medical needs and overhead later.

 

2.    Be Realistic About Spending

 

Paying close attention to what you spend each month before you retire will give you a sense of your monetary needs.  If you find that they are too high, begin paring down your expenses and reducing your overhead: the fewer places you hemorrhage money, the better.  Even if you have ample resources, it’s wise to pay attention to your spending to avoid unwanted surprises down the road. 

 

3.    Practice Prevention 

 

Your health and wellbeing should have been your priority throughout your life, but as you age, it’s untenable for them not to be. The difference between enjoying your retirement, or suffering the experience, can easily come down to lifestyle choices.  

 

So, if you haven’t already, make physical activity a part of each day, aim to eat a rainbow of food, cultivate sources of creativity and joy in your life, and spend time with people you love. Doing these things could lengthen your life, prevent illness and injury, and simply help to make your life better.

 

4.    Have A Plan

 

Work consumes a great deal of time. If you head into retirement without considering what those suddenly vacant hours will look like, you could leave yourself feeling unmoored. Creating a schedule for yourself that incorporates healthy habits into your daily routine can be a game changer.

 

According to a study for Psychology of Aging, “the retirement transition is multi-dimensional. The transition involves two developmental challenges: adjustment to the loss of the work role and the social ties of work, and the development of a satisfactory postretirement lifestyle.”²  

 

Anticipating these impacts in advance, and consciously facing them through planning and preparation, increases your chances for a happy retirement.

 

5.    Learn To Relax 

 

Learning to relax may sound silly, but many people are so conditioned to be busy that suddenly having free time can lead to an identity crisis. To counter this possibility, consider beginning a mindfulness practice such as meditation. Learning to sit, be still, and reflect inward will confer myriad health benefits and help ease you into retirement.

 

6.    Don’t Wait To Enjoy

 

Life is better when lived fully. Waiting for a future date to truly savor your existence can be a monumental waste of precious time. Life offers few guarantees, so if you want to avoid regrets, then make today matter. Once retirement begins, double down.  

 

Fill your moments with things you’ve long wanted to try. Vie to expand, rather than contract, as you age. Stay engaged, keep moving, and consciously cultivate your vitality. Doing this will help you transition smoothly into retirement and, what’s more, will foster a life worth living.

 

References:

 

1. ​​Hou, W. (n.d.). How Well Do Retirees Assess The Risks They Face in Retirement? Center for Retirement Research. Retrieved September 23, 2022, from https://crr.bc.edu/wp-content/uploads/2022/06/IB_22-10.pdf
2. van Solinge, H., & Henkens, K. (2008). Adjustment to and satisfaction with retirement: two of a kind?. Psychology and aging, 23(2), 422–434. https://doi.org/10.1037/0882-7974.23.2.422