The 4 A's of Stress Relief Can Help Reduce Feelings of Anxiety

A little anxiety from time to time is normal. You are running late to work. Your boss has already talked with you about showing up on time. You haven't been the most punctual employee in the past, and here you are, running late again. It's a common reaction to get anxious about this situation.

 

Did you let the cat out before you left home this morning? Are you going to make the right impression on a first date? This is the first time you are giving a presentation at work, and the company owner will be in attendance with several other company bigwigs. Are you properly prepared for this experience that can make or break your career?

 

These are examples of normally tense situations. Even though they aren't as unhealthy as chronic anxiety, you'd still like to avoid them. To get the upper hand on anxious feelings, whether regular or infrequent, put the four A's of stress relief to work.

 

1. Avoid
2. Alter
3. Accept
4. Adapt

 

Avoid

 

Extreme cases of anxiety may not be influenced by your surroundings or the people you deal with. The constant worry and obsession over something happens regardless of where and who you are with. In many cases, though, feelings of anxiety can be reduced or overcome entirely by avoiding the people, places, and things that are causing them.

 

This might only apply when you can control your surroundings and who you spend your time with. If you can, avoid people that make you anxious. Control your surroundings, your environment. Avoid taking on lots of unnecessary responsibilities that can ramp up your anxiety. Steer clear of things you know are likely to make you anxious.

 

Alter

 

This stress reduction practice is empowering. You take action. Look at what's happening around you and attempt to change the environment or situation to create more positive feelings.

 

You may ask others to engage in some different type of behavior. Speak about your feelings and why you hope things can be altered to address those feelings. Changing how you manage your time is a simple way to avoid a lot of unnecessary anxiety. If you can change or alter stressors making you feel anxious, do so.

 

Accept

 

Acceptance is an anxiety killer. You realize you can't avoid or alter a situation that worries you. If you can accept that most of life will be out of your control, this acceptance can replace anxiety. You act on what you can influence or control, not what you can't.

 

Adapt

 

Accepting that you, unfortunately, can't control everything provides you with another option. Why not adapt instead? If you are faced with anxiety from a situation you must constantly experience and can't control, then adapt. Develop positive mantras that make you feel good. Remember that this anxiety is a choice your emotions make and decide to feel differently.

 

Adjust the way you look at a situation. After you experience anxiety and nothing bad happens, remind yourself of this later. It can take the negative power out of anxiety. You look back and realize that you may have been obsessing and worrying for no reason.

 

These four A's of stress relief can help you experience fewer anxious feelings. You reduce your level of anxiety and create more positive emotions. If these and your other efforts to reduce anxiety don't create the outcome you're looking for, talk to a mental health professional as soon as possible.

3 Body Positive Activities

When you are on a journey to feel better about your body, finding body-positive activities to fill your time can be difficult. Below are a few ideas you can engage in while you are on a journey to feel more positive about your body. Remember, many of us struggle with body image, so don't be afraid to invite your friends to do these activities with you!

 

1.  Spa Day

 

This day doesn't have to be an expensive spa package that costs hundreds of dollars. It could be just as simple as a quick trip to the local spa. Soak in the hot tub, sit in the steam room, and take a dip in the cold pool. All of these are relaxing activities that can help to release your stress. You could even pamper yourself with a manicure or pedicure. Engage in whatever it takes to relieve your stress and make you feel like you are being spoiled. 

 

2.  Do Something Active

 

An article on Mayo Clinic explains that working out in nature releases endorphins. These endorphins make you feel happy whether or not the exercise is vigorous. Even a simple walk around the block will be enough to get your endorphins flowing and help you to feel better about yourself. This activity can be especially fun if you invite a friend and the two of you take a fun class at your local gym or even participate in guided yoga in the park. 

 

3.  Consume Body Positive Media

 

Social media is often filled with unrealistic expectations for you to compare yourself to. Instead of spending time scrolling, find a positive media source in your life and consume as much of it as you can. This can be listening to music that makes you feel great about yourself or reading a book written by someone who inspires you. Make sure whatever it is you are spending your time reading, and watching is making you feel good about your body. 

 

Staying positive about your body can be difficult, especially if you aren't participating in body-positive activities. So next time your friends want to hang out, maybe suggest a spa day or take part in something active, because these activities will help you feel better about your body. Just make sure that whatever you do, you consume media that makes you feel great about who you are - and not the opposite. 

 

5 Signs You Might Be a People Pleaser

Has someone told you that you are a people pleaser? It might be true, but it's a good idea to get a second opinion if you aren't sure. Below are 5 signs that you might be a people pleaser - consider these to be your "second opinion." 

 

1. You Can’t Say No

 

Your friend has asked you for a favor for the 10^th time. Your boss just asked you to stay late again. Both of your divorced parents want to see you for the holidays. A people-pleaser says yes to all of these people because they can't seem to say no to anyone.

 

Not saying no means you are definitely a people pleaser, especially when you say yes to things that you know aren't going to work out. 

 

2. You Constantly Wonder What Others Think

 

Are you always worried that your friends might hate you? Or that your significant other doesn't see you in the way you want them to see you? These anxious thoughts are a sure sign of people-pleasing behavior. Thoughts like these cause you to please others before taking care of yourself.

 

3. You Feel You Never Have You Time

 

Self-care is important, and most people-pleasers find they simply don't have the time. Mostly because they are too busy saying yes to everyone else. Take a look at your schedule. Do you have time penciled in just for you? If not, you're probably a people pleaser. 

 

4. You Feel Bad Saying No

 

Okay, so maybe you can say no, and you have before. However, did you feel bad or guilty when you said it? You have every right to say no, and you shouldn't feel bad doing it. If you do, this is another sign that you are a people-pleaser. 

 

5. You Constantly Apologize

 

Are you always apologizing for everything, even stuff that may not be your fault? This isn't healthy and means that you are probably a people-pleaser. People-pleasers want people to like them no matter what, which can lead to them apologizing for things they didn't just to make sure they stay in the person's good graces. 

 

Did you find that three or more of these things described you and how you feel? If so, you are likely a people pleaser. If you don't want to damage your own health pleasing others, it's definitely time to accept that you are a people pleaser and begin looking for help to overcome your people-pleasing ways. 

 

How Can I Stop Being a People Pleaser?

Have you recently come to realize that you are a people pleaser? Don't worry. This is a common revelation. But now that you've realized you are a people pleaser, it's time to stop being one for your own health and sanity. 

 

Below are some ways you can learn to stop being a people pleaser. 

 

Set Boundaries

 

The most important step to stopping your people-pleasing ways is to establish boundaries in your relationships. Of course, different relationships will have different boundaries, but they need to be there regardless. For example, if your significant other asks you to do something extra because they have a busy week ahead, this might be okay, but if your friend does this all the time, it might be time to draw the line. 

 

Take Small Steps

 

Chances are, you aren't going to stop being a people pleaser overnight. Being a people pleaser has probably been ingrained in your mind since you were young. Therefore, you should start small instead of changing everything at once. To begin with, you can set some simple boundaries that shouldn't offend anyone. For example, let someone know you aren't available during work hours. 

 

Set Goals For Yourself

 

It's important, as you stop being a people pleaser, that you have a clear direction for yourself to stop from sliding back into your people-pleasing ways. You should make goals of who you want to devote your time to and what you want to accomplish in life. It is common for people-pleasers to feel as if they need to please their parents to the point where they neglect their romantic relationships. If this sounds like you, your goal should be to devote more of your time to your significant other and less to your parents. 

 

Engage in Positive Self-Talk

 

People pleasers feel good about themselves when they do something nice for someone else, and as you leave your people-pleasing ways, you will likely be missing this positive reinforcement. This is why you need to create it for yourself. Every time you establish a boundary and keep it, tell yourself you did a good job and that you are doing something good for yourself—because it may not feel as good as people-pleasing does at first.

 

Overall, the road to leaving your people-pleasing ways isn't going to be without struggle. But if you use the above tips, you'll find that you are actually enjoying doing something for yourself rather than people-pleasing all the time. Before you know it, your people-pleasing days will be nothing but a distant memory. 

 

Stress And Mental Health: 7 Things You Need to Know

Stress can impact your mental health in a variety of ways. Understanding how stress can both positively and negatively impact mental health can help you gauge whether or not you need to seek assistance or find new methods for managing your stress levels effectively.

 

Yes, some stress is good for you. Too much stress can cause issues.

 

Health experts at Summa Health explain that “a little bit of stress is inevitable, but oftentimes that’s a good thing.” Yes, some stress can be good for your overall well-being! 

 

For example, in small doses, stress can serve as a motivator. This is the kind of stress that motivates you to pay bills on time, attend classes, try your best at work, attend your appointments, and tackle household projects. This stress is typically alleviated once the “to-do” item gets crossed off your list. These small accomplishments are good for your mental health, too – it feels good to know you’re caught up. 

 

The real issues lie in prolonged stress that doesn’t get alleviated. 

 

You can experience short-term and long-term “bad” stress.

 

Summa Health’s mental health experts say that while some short-term stress can be beneficial (see above), there are types of short-term and long-term stress that can cause mental health issues. 

 

For example, Summa Health explains that the types of “bad” stress are those that leave you feeling…

 

• Anxious

• Confused or “foggy brained”

• Tired

• Unable to focus 

• Like your performance levels are low 

 

Prolonged stress is a direct contributor to the formation of mental health issues.

 

There are many reasons why mental health issues can form. The Center for Addiction and Mental Health explains that prolonged stress can be a direct contributor to a number of mental health conditions, such as anxiety disorders and depression.

 

The CAMH explains how “stress is the result of brain chemicals, called hormones, surging through the body. These hormones make people sweat, breathe quicker, tense their muscles and prepare to take action. 

 

When this happens, a person's built-in alarm system – their “fight-or-flight” response – becomes activated to protect them.” In small doses, this is helpful. However, when this cycle is constantly activated, it can lead to serious changes in brain chemistry, impacting mental health. 

 

Stress-related issues are exacerbated when “fight or flight” cycles aren’t completed.

 

Harvard Medical School describes the importance of having a “fight or flight” response in stressful situations. The cycle begins when someone experiences stressful stimuli. After the amygdala sends a distress signal, the hypothalamus activates the sympathetic nervous system by sending signals through the autonomic nerves to the adrenal glands. These glands respond by pumping the hormone epinephrine (also known as adrenaline) into the bloodstream.

 

This is helpful because it encourages you to act (or run, hence the “flight”) in the face of a stressor, which can save your life. However, when everyday life situations cause you to continually find yourself in “fight or flight” mode, you never actually complete the cycle. Instead of finding yourself back to safety, your stress triggers the cycle to begin again immediately. Over time, this can lead to big mental health impacts.

 

Unchecked stress can lead to even more stress, causing further strain on mental health. 

 

Unchecked stress often begets more stress. The National Institute of Mental Health explains how “if that anxiety doesn’t go away and begins to interfere with your life, it could affect your health. You could experience problems with sleeping, or with your immune, digestive, cardiovascular, and reproductive systems.” 

 

If you allow your stress to snowball and turn into anxiety, you could find yourself dealing with an even larger issue than you originally faced. This is why learning how to manage stress is crucial. Without proper management techniques, stress can run rampant on your mental health.

 

There are lifestyle adjustments you can make to lessen the impact of stress on your mental health.

 

Fortunately, stress doesn’t have to rule over your life. The CAMH explains that there are a variety of ways people can combat the negative impacts of stress on their mental health, including…

 

• Eating well

• Getting enough sleep

• Prioritizing self-care and leisure time

• Limiting alcohol and caffeine consumption

• Prioritizing, organizing and delegating tasks

• Seeking support from family and friends

• Attending a support group or stress management program, consulting a health care professional or accessing self-help materials

 

Mental health professionals can help you learn how to cope with stress like a pro.

 

Sometimes, stress can feel like too much to handle alone – especially if you’ve recently experienced a particularly difficult life event or have been dealing with stress for a long time. In times like these, reaching out to a trained mental health professional is essential. 

 

The National Institute of Mental Health explains how “if you are struggling to cope, or the symptoms of your stress or anxiety won’t go away, it may be time to talk to a professional.” These mental health professionals will know how to best tackle your stress issues, whether that is through therapy, medication, or a combination of the two.

References

 

https://www.summahealth.org/flourish/entries/2021/01/stress-management-how-to-tell-the-difference-between-good-and-bad-stress#:~:text=A%20little%20bit%20of%20stress,smarter%2C%20happier%20and%20healthier%20person

 

https://www.camh.ca/en/health-info/mental-illness-and-addiction-index/stress

 

https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/publications/so-stressed-out-fact-sheet

 

https://www.health.harvard.edu/staying-healthy/understanding-the-stress-response

 

Breaking Chains: Letting Go Of Toxic Relationships

Toxic relationships can drive you to your breaking point. These may be difficult to get out of, and you may not even realize things are bad until you’re in deep. Today we’ll look at healthy versus toxic relationships and how to break those chains.

 

Identifying a Toxic Relationship

 

The first step in breaking free from your chains is identifying when the chains are there. All relationships go through bad times. The difference is that toxic relationships seem to be perpetually stuck in a dark place. This is true for any type of relationship, not just romantic.

 

Signs of a healthy relationship include:

• Respect
• Trust
• Good communication
• Mutual commitment
• Kindness
• Fun
• Comfort
• Support of each other’s goals
• Partnership in decisions

On the other hand, signs of a toxic relationship include:

• Disrespect
• Lack of trust
• Dishonesty
• Poor communication
• Major difference in goals
• Lack of support
• Stress
• Jealousy
• Excessive control
• Disregard of each other’s needs and wants

Maintaining Safety

 

Depending on the level of toxicity, breaking the relationship off could have safety concerns. This mainly refers to partners in romantic relationships but not always. In these cases, it could be a good idea to consult with local law enforcement or the National Domestic Violence Hotline before taking any action. To reach the hotline, you can either call 800-799-7233 or text “START” to 88788. More information is available on their website.

 

Keys to Success

 

There are a few main components that ensure success when breaking off a toxic relationship. They include:

• Support System: Keep your loved ones in the loop about what’s going on with you. Let them know why you’re leaving the relationship and seek assistance from them if needed. Community support groups are also available if you need to talk with people who are going through the same thing.

• Independence: Learn how to take care of yourself and complete daily tasks. This includes managing your basic needs, finances, recreation, and other errands.

• Professional Assistance: Again, law enforcement and other measures may be necessary to maintain physical safety. From a mental health standpoint, you may also want to seek professional counseling before and after ending the relationship.

• Cutting Ties: One of the worst things you can do when leaving a toxic relationship is leaving the door open for the other person to come back into your life. It will be difficult to step away but it’s necessary for long-term healing. Once you no longer share material possessions and communication is not essential, delete their contact information and take them off your social media. Do not indulge in conversations about them with friends, family, or mutual connections.

• Self-Care: Engage in activities that bring you physical, mental, and emotional comfort and peace. Take care of your basic needs, live a healthy lifestyle, and participate in relaxing and recreational activities.

 

What To Say

 

What you say and how you say it during a breakup is critical to your success in walking away. Here are a few tips for breaking the chain of a toxic relationship:

• Maintain a strong and assertive but non-aggressive tone of voice.
• Use strong body language, including a tall stance, relaxed shoulders, and good eye contact.
• Use “I” statements and accept that the other person may not take responsibility for their actions.
• Use definitive language. For example, don’t say “I need a break”. Instead, say “I’m leaving you and I don’t want you in my life anymore”.

 

Healing From Toxic Relationships

 

It’s best to take a holistic approach to healing from a toxic relationship. This means focusing on every aspect of your wellbeing, not just your emotional health. Some of these aspects include:

• Physical: This involves factors such as diet, sleep, exercise, and personal hygiene.
• Mental: This involves using coping skills and/or professional help to deal with unwanted thoughts and emotions.
• Social: This involves your social connections such as family, friends, work, hobbies, and other social obligations.

 

Source Links

 

https://www.healthline.com/health/toxic-relationship

 

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/here-there-and-everywhere/202206/how-recover-toxic-relationship

 

https://www.thehotline.org/

 

https://www.verywellmind.com/how-to-leave-a-toxic-marriage-4091900

 

https://www.waldenu.edu/programs/psychology/resource/ten-signs-of-a-healthy-relationship