Become Socially Confident by Questioning Your Negative Thoughts

Confidence gives you the ability to trust in yourself. You understand that you're going to make some mistakes. You're going to fail. But you keep going. You're confident that you can create a positive outcome. You also understand that any failure is not a declaration of who you are as a person.

 

It's just a thing. It's just something that happened, nothing more. You learn from it and then move on.

 

When you lack confidence you don't usually have that powerful belief in yourself. You question your ability to do something. Before you know it, you're lacking confidence in several different activities or responsibilities. That's because when you start to lose confidence in some aspect of your life, it can be unfortunately contagious. Low self-confidence can spread to every corner of your life and have a powerfully negative impact.

 

One way people develop a lack of social confidence is by believing their nagging inner voice. 

 

You know the voice we're talking about. It's incessant, always there, and it never seems to have a positive point of view. The "what if" scenarios it paints doesn't make a pretty picture. The next time you catch yourself engaging in negative self-talk, simply do this.

 

Ask yourself if the negative thought is absolutely true without a doubt.

 

Just because you have a thought doesn't make it true. Think about previous beliefs you had that you learned were incorrect. You may have been pretty sure you were thinking the right way. Then reality or a life experience taught you a valuable lesson. Your thoughts are sometimes wrong.

 

Questioning Negative Thoughts Takes Away Their Power

 

People prefer to have their experiences reaffirm their beliefs. This is why socially confident people often create positive social interactions. Their confidence leads them to a place where their ability to create a positive social outcome is greatly enhanced.

 

When you stick to negative social beliefs you do the same thing. You listen to your inner voice. It tells you that nothing but bad is going to come from some interaction with another person. You believe that thought without questioning it. 

 

This makes you nervous. You focus on a negative outcome so much that you virtually guarantee it's going to occur.

 

To keep this from happening, answer your inner voice. When it starts talking to you negatively about a social interaction, ask why it thinks that way. Challenge it to prove what it's saying without a shadow of a doubt. Then began to pick apart the negative thought.

 

Instead of asking yourself what could go wrong, ask yourself what could go right. Stop thinking the negative thought and realize there's a possibility for a wonderful and positive outcome. This is a proven way to become more socially confident and capable.

The Influence Of Positivity: Fostering Optimism In Challenging Times

Just when we are sailing smoothly through life, something unexpected comes along and throws us into a downward spiral. Terrible accidents, job loss, illness, the challenges of aging, or the loss of a loved one all can hit us hard personally. On a broader scope, the age in which we live has more violent crime, unemployment, social and political unrest, and economic hardships, draining our ability to cope. 

 

However, even in distressing circumstances, you can learn to approach life with optimism. Science has shown that people tend to bounce back when faced with significant life stressors.

 

The Difference Between Positivity and Optimism

Oxford Languages defines optimism as “Hopefulness and confidence about the future or the successful outcome of something.” In contrast, positivity is “The quality, character, or fact of being positive.”

 

In other words, optimism is anticipating positive outcomes in the future, whereas positivity is how we react to situations. An optimistic outlook helps us to foster positivity.

 

The Importance and Benefits of Optimism

Multiple studies were conducted to evaluate the links between optimism and psychological coping. The broaden-and-build theory (Fredrickson, 1998, 2001) found that optimistic feelings are helpful. "Experiences of positive emotions during times of stress prompt individuals to pursue novel and creative thoughts and actions.” 

 

Research by Johns Hopkins expert Lisa R. Yanek, M.P.H., and her colleagues found that people prone to heart disease who had an optimistic viewpoint were “13% less likely than their negative counterparts to have a heart attack or other coronary event.”

 

There are many other benefits to being optimistic, including:

 

• Reduced Risk of Depression: Studies show that positive people have better mental health, lowering the risk and severity of depression.

• Healthier Lifestyle: Optimistic people typically make healthy choices such as eating nutritious foods, exercising, and getting sufficient sleep.

• Longer Lifespan: Those who are optimistic tend to have good health and live longer than pessimistic people.

• Better Coping: Optimistic people handle stress better and recognize that hardships are only temporary.

 

How Do I Become More Optimistic?

Adjust Your Mindset

 

A mindset is how people perceive themselves and their beliefs, contributing to their attitudes and behavior. “By understanding, adapting and shifting your mindset, you can improve your health, decrease your stress and become more resilient to life’s challenges.” You can learn to shift your mindset by practicing positive self-talk and daily positive affirmations.

 

• Positive Self-Talk: Self-talk is the inner discussion or thoughts we all have; our thoughts can be positive or negative. As humans, when faced with hardships, we tend to blame ourselves. For example, if you were laid off from work, you might think, “What did I do wrong?” or “I really messed up.” Instead, replace the negative thoughts with optimistic ones, such as “I have the skills to find an exciting new career.”

• Daily Positive Affirmations: Improve your self-esteem and positivity by practicing daily affirmations, which are things we say to ourselves to acknowledge our self-worth, such as: "I choose to be happy today." or "I am optimistic."

 

Socialize with Positive People

 

When you interact with optimistic people, you tend to become more optimistic. You can learn from other people and have a great support system. You can meet people by taking a class, joining a group or club, attending church, or volunteering.

 

• Practice Acceptance: Experiencing negative and positive emotions is part of life. Accepting and valuing everything that happens is essential as it will improve your coping ability during difficult times. An optimistic person will look at challenging times as lessons learned for the future.

 

Live a Healthy Lifestyle

 

Strive to eat unprocessed, nutritious foods such as fruits and vegetables, lean proteins, whole grains, and fish. Exercise for at least 30 minutes daily to reduce stress, improve strength, and lift your mood. Choose a form of exercise you enjoy, such as walking or riding a bicycle.

 

Laughter is Good Medicine

 

Laughter increases your oxygen-rich air intake, stimulating organs such as the heart and lungs. It releases endorphins, a “feel-good” hormone. Indulge in fun activities that make you laugh, and always try to find the humor in things.

 

Conclusion

Optimism is important for our mental and physical health and well-being. Being positive can reduce the risk of depression, improve our coping abilities, and contribute to a longer lifespan. Optimism is essential for our personal growth. When we are optimistic, we approach life’s challenging times with positivity and confidence.

 

References

 

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3132556/

 

https://www.hopkinsmedicine.org/profiles/details/lisa-yanek 

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/07/11/cheerful-heart-attack-risk-happy-well-being_n_3575548.html 

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2894461/ 

https://news.stanford.edu/report/2021/09/15/mindsets-clearing-lens-life/ 

https://hbsp.harvard.edu/inspiring-minds/how-to-stay-optimistic-when-so-much-is-still-unclear 

https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/how_to_prime_your_mind_for_optimism 

https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/stress-management/in-depth/positive-thinking/art-20043950

https://www.healthline.com/health/mental-health/self-talk 

https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/stress-management/in-depth/stress-relief/art-20044456 

7 Secrets to Reclaiming Confidence that Successful People Know

Winston Churchill once said, “Success is stumbling from failure to failure with no loss of enthusiasm.” 

 

The problem is, enthusiasm can be hard to come by, especially when yours has taken a beating. Setbacks and disappointments have a way of knocking it down. We start doubting ourselves and lose sight of who we really are. Without confidence, it becomes impossible to try, guaranteeing failure. 

 

Thankfully, we know one thing for certain: confidence can be reclaimed, as every successful person knows. Read on to discover 7 things successful people know about reclaiming confidence.

 

They Remind Themselves They Can Do It

 

Successful people recognize failure is normal. Getting there won’t be without bumps. The important thing when trying to regain confidence is to realize success is still a possibility…or even a probability. This is where you remind yourself of your goal and visualize success all over again.

 

They Walk Away

 

There comes a time where a break is the best thing you can give yourself. Confidence wavers when you’re feeling stressed and overwhelmed. Doing a hobby you love, or even just taking a walk, or spending time with friends, does a lot toward regaining a positive mindset when you’re feeling frustrated.

 

They Revisit the Past

 

Where have you succeeded before? Where have you failed? Everything that’s come before is a teaching moment. What do you know about yourself already from these events? Understanding the “you of yesterday” is where your insights today come from. Confidence comes from using this knowledge well. 

 

They Forgive

 

Hating yourself for some mistake you made isn’t going to get you anywhere and only destroys your confidence. Being able to let go and forgive the past is crucial to future success.

 

They Keep a Handle on What They’re Saying

 

Self-talk can be particularly destructive to confidence. How do you talk to yourself? Are you patient and understanding, or do you tend toward negativity? Grabbing hold of those mental put-downs will preserve self-confidence. Using more positive statements will build it up.

 

They Start Over

 

The only sure way to fail is to do the same thing, in exactly the same way, when you’ve already failed the first time. Rather than force failure onto yourself and eradicate confidence, revamp the strategy. Ask yourself how you can do things differently this time.

 

They Keep Trying

 

Persistence pays off. If you fail and stop, you’ll always think of yourself as a failure. It’s the person who gets up and tries again who builds confidence as they go. 

 

In the end, the only way to reclaim your confidence is to put intentional work into recovering it. By using these tips, you’ll get there. Recognize the process can sometimes be slow, but success truly does still lie within your grasp, even after a setback.