5 Tips for More Effective Conflict Resolution

Conflicts are bound to happen, whether at home, at work, or in between. Unfortunately, what can start as something trivial can quickly escalate to something much more serious in a matter of minutes.

 

That’s why it pays to know how to effectively resolve any conflict you find yourself in. This way, you can create some healthy boundaries and balance your emotions without creating unnecessary stress and anxiety.

 

Here are five tips for more effective conflict resolution that will help you out of any jam. Take a look.

 

Tip #1: Find the Source of the Conflict

 

The first step in conflict resolution is to identify the source of the problem. Once you identify the issue, you can start taking the right measures toward fixing it.

 

On the other hand, if you carry on without knowing exactly why you’re feeling the way you do, you’ll be angry and all worked up without really knowing why.

 

So, while it may seem like a waste of time at first, if you think about it, you can’t solve any problem unless you first find the source of the problem.

 

Here’s another way of looking at it:

 

When you identify the root cause of the issue, everyone involved can help strive towards not repeating the same thing in the future.

 

Tip #2: Find a Quiet and Safe Place to Talk

 

Once you understand the underlying causes of the conflict, it’s time to bring in the other person if you haven’t already. The thing about conflict is that you have to nip it in the bud and address it in a timely manner, so it doesn’t manifest into something bigger over time.

 

Remember that there’s nothing wrong with having a difference of opinion every now and then. Yet, it’s how you communicate that makes all the difference in the world!

 

However, we’ve all been in similar situations and it can be daunting to try and engage in this type of discourse. Yet, you have to muster up the courage and just start because the sooner you deal with it, the better the outcome will be.

 

Tip #3: Actively Listen

 

Active listening plays a big role in determining the way your conflict resolution proceeds. So, you have to be patient when it’s the other person’s turn to speak.

 

Write down any rebuttals that pop into your head to avoid interrupting them.

 

Show that you respect the other person’s emotions and point of view. This way, they’ll make it a point to try and do the same when it’s your turn to speak.

 

Tip #4: Point Out Ways to Solve the Problem

 

After each person has had their chance to talk and listen, the next step is to try and find some sort of middle ground that both parties can agree on.

 

You’ll probably need a pen and paper or a board to write down your ideas. Then start brainstorming.

 

Write out all the ideas that come, even the crazy ones. Those are usually the ones that lead to an effective end to the problem.

 

Although, there’s one critical thing to always remember when working to resolve any conflict, and that’s to only focus on the issue at hand and not the person.

 

This will help make the other person feel safe enough to start finding ways to solve the issue, rather than always be on the defensive or feel like they’re constantly being judged.

 

Tip #5: Agree on the Best Solution

 

Finding common ground can be easier said than done. It requires each party to own up to their part of the conflict.

 

Not only that, but it also means they have to put in the effort of looking for a suitable compromise. Plus, they have to take the necessary steps to resolve it and make sure it doesn’t happen again.

 

That can only take place once all parties have set clear expectations while respecting the other person’s differences. Also, it’s helpful to think of conflict as an opportunity to grow. When it’s managed properly, it can bring great insight and help you become more attuned to your needs and the needs of those around you.

 

The good news is that after opening up communication lines, taking the time to listen, and collaborating on solutions, it’s all downhill from there. It becomes easier to establish neutral ground where everyone feels comfortable speaking and sharing ideas.

 

Bringing Out The Best In Others

When you take the time to bring out the best in others, you may find that it is enough to change the world. Everyone has something that makes them unique and special, something that makes them stand out from the crowd. But not everyone knows what that is or how to find their unique talents. They may assume that they are not as good as others and their self-esteem is going to falter as well. 

 

You could be the change that will help them to see the best in themselves, the champion behind them that will never let them fall behind. Some of the ways that you can bring out the best in others include:

 

Be Generous

 

To start, you need to be generous. Give others your time and energy. Even more importantly, give them the benefit of the doubt. Believe in them, even when they fail or stumble and struggle to believe in themselves. It takes no talent to believe in someone who is already reaching their goals and knocking down all the walls. The hard thing is to see some of the talents that are buried deep inside someone, especially when that person doesn’t even know that talent is there. 

 

Be Open-Minded

 

Talent can take a lot of different forms and it can bring someone into unusual situations. Many of the most talented people you may meet throughout your life will be completely different than you. For example, maybe you like to have things quiet and this person likes to be loud and outgoing. The greatest talent in seeing the best in others is to get past some of your own biases. Kick that to the curb and see what a difference it makes. 

 

Be Clear

 

When you want to bring out the best in others, your role is to be clear and interact with other people. If you want to do this, you need to collaborate, foster talent, and be there for the other person. You don’t have to be the most capable or the smartest or the best person in the room. You just need to be clear and ready to listen and learn along the way. Let the other person know that you value them and would like to be there for them as they learn more about their talents as well. 

 

Be Persistent

 

It is never easy when it is time to foster talent. The other person can get discouraged and often distracted. They can come to rely on you to do most of the work, rather than taking on the initiative and using some of their talents and skills. This is natural because finding talent can be difficult and some people may get discouraged. Your goal is to be persistent with them and not let them give up at all. You can be there to help others, but your job is not to do the work for them. With some good persistence, you will be able to help them reach their goals and they will be proud that they put in the work themselves. 

 

Be Present

 

You need to pay attention and be present to spot the talent in other people. You need to be able to find some of the smallest clues because most people don’t know their talents and so will not show them off to you in the process. You have to be curious to learn more about that person and then be present enough to show that you care and want to be there for them as well. The greater your ability to pay attention, the more talent you can find for other people. 

 

The Stress Relieving Value of Accepting Your Differences

Were you ever teased as a child? A lot of us were. Some kids will make fun of others who are fatter or skinnier, taller or shorter, or different in some other way. They, unfortunately, learn this behavior from adults who likewise chastise their colleagues, friends, and others for nothing more than being different.

 

This becomes a big problem when several children attack another child and declare some difference to be negative. When this behavior is ongoing, the different child can begin to feel low self-worth. After all, if everyone is telling her that she's different and that her differences aren't good, they must be right.

 

Why else would they all be saying the same thing? That child becomes upset with the person she sees in the mirror. Why is she overweight? Why is her skin different from others? Why wasn't she given the intelligence that all her friends have? This leads to self-doubt, low self-esteem, and in some cases, risky and unsafe behavior.

 

Stress Is a Killer, but It Doesn't Have To Be

 

Obviously, that's a very stressful scenario. Unfortunately, this is a common situation for not just children but teens, young adults, and even older grown-ups.

 

It causes so much stress, both physical and mental. The stress starts to build up because the differences are seen as negative. The marvelous, unique individual that was created is not allowed to be who they really are. They try not to be themselves.

 

On the physiological side of the equation, this chronic stress produces chemicals that lead to anxiety, depression, and other negative feelings. Ask any doctor, and they'll tell you stress is related to most chronic illnesses and many major causes of death.

 

Your differences don't have to be stressful. They shouldn't be. When you embrace who you are, you realize you have much to offer the world. You're fine just like you are right now. This leads to confidence and less stress. You aren't as anxious about trying to please others by fitting into some silly idea they have of who you should be.

 

Your confidence and self-esteem go up when you accept and love your differences. 

 

You'll also find that certain people in your life want to manipulate you rather than accept who you are. Perhaps you should move on from these people and spend more time with supportive individuals who encourage your uniqueness.

 

Be happy with who you are. You're the only "you" that will ever be created. There will never be another human being exactly like you. When you embrace that fact and look at your differences as advantages, you'll suffer less stress and anxiety and enjoy more self-love, fulfillment, and success.

 

Keys To Happiness Now (Infographic)

 

How To Set Yourself Up For A Productive Day (Infographic)

 

5 Characteristics of Ambitious People

Many of us wish we knew the secret formula to being ambitious and driven. Why are some people so determined to make it that they work on weekends and holidays, while others are a bit laid back and easy-going?

 

That’s what we’re here today to find out. We asked successful people in several fields, and they all agreed on one thing: no one is born ambitious. Instead, it’s something that takes time, patience, and a lot of hard work.

 

Interested in finding out more? Scroll down for our list of five characteristics of ambitious people.

 

They Avoid Negativity

 

Ambitious people seem to be always in motion. They take whatever stressors their day brings and harness it to create something good, like more ambition.

 

Yet, they’ve trained themselves to be good at staying in balance. They don’t allow their emotions to take over their thoughts and actions.

 

With each bump in the road, they breathe and look at things from a clearer perspective.

They avoid getting sucked into the vortex of negative self-take, self-doubt, and indecision—all of which are the enemies of ambition. These negative emotions keep you from seeing your true potential because you’re afraid you’ll mess up or not measure up.

 

However, your only true competitor is yourself. So, focus on your goals, then strive to be better than you were last week. That’s all anyone expects of you.

 

They Invest in Personal Growth

 

Motivated people know the value of personal growth. They know that there’s a whole world of knowledge out there we still don’t know anything about.

 

So, they never settle. They’re always on the hunt for the next thing to help them improve in all areas of their life.

 

This doesn’t just have to be taking online classes and attending seminars. Many self-improvement techniques are free of charge.

 

One of the ways you can invest in yourself is by getting good, quality sleep every night. It’s also about eating right and working out several times a week.

 

The point is to make yourself a priority. Then, pretty quickly, others will take notice and see you as a priority as well.

 

They Surround themselves with Like-Minded People

 

Jim Rohn once said, “You’re the average of the five people you spend the most time with.” In other words, if you want to be more ambitious, you need to be around people who are doing the same.

 

No, it doesn’t mean that you have to replace your friends. But it does mean you need to have people in your life with the right frame of mind to encourage you to be better and do better.

 

These are usually the ones who know what they want and aren’t afraid to go after it. If there’s a mentor you know or some kind of role model, then make an effort to spend more time with them.

 

Also, try to make friends with successful people in various fields, not just the ones you’re interested in. We’re creatures of habit, so whatever makes them successful will soon rub off on you.

 

They Set Well-Defined Goals

 

It’s not just about the task of setting goals. Anyone can make a list of goals they want to achieve in the next week.

 

What ambitious people have become good at is breaking down their goals into smaller, more manageable tasks that they can actually achieve. Not only that, but they have a certain level of self-confidence that allows them to push through even when they don’t feel like it.

 

Say you’re thinking about starting a professional blog. Avoid the urge to jump right in and try to do everything at once. Instead, give yourself daily targets to hit.

 

Get a large calendar and pencil in one thing you want to get done for the next 30 days. These don’t have to be fancy or anything grand. They just have to motivate you enough to get you to the next day’s target, and so on, until you reach your big goal at the end of the month.

 

They’re not Afraid to Take Risks

 

Everyone is always telling you how rewarding it can be to step outside your comfort zone. Yet, taking risks doesn’t have to be daunting or scary.

 

You don’t have to climb a mountain or go swimming with the sharks or anything like that—unless, of course, that’s where your ambition lies.

 

We’re simply suggesting that in order to be ambitious and motivated, you have to be willing to make mistakes. You have to be okay with taking work-related risks and seeing which ones will pan out and which ones will flop.

 

If they pay off, then great! Take it in, be proud of your accomplishments, then move on to the next big risk.

 

If it doesn’t pay off, then use it as a learning experience. Grow from it, understand what went wrong, then move on to something different.

 

It won’t be easy, but you’ll come out stronger, wiser, and more motivated to do more.

 

Journal Your Way to Self-Worth

Journaling is a fantastic way to build your self-worth. It’s a well-established practice in therapy and psychology, and it works equally well for children and adults. Journaling can be art or writing or a collage or a combination of whatever feels right for you. 

 

There is a range of prompts to help you get over the fear of the blank page or to help you get over those ‘um, I don’t know’ moments. This article provides a few suggestions, but once you get into the swing of journaling, the ideas will flow!

 

• You can make it easier to break-through the ‘bashful barrier’ if you find it hard to find positive things to say - you can start at the back of the journal and work forward, write in a spiral or turn your book sideways or upside-down. 

 

• Write in your happiest memories and include photos of parties, holidays and loved ones. You can make timelines of the best days in your life that make you feel proud of yourself, like graduation, your first job, your first solo car trip. Work over multiple or fold-out pages, make double-spreads, include photos as well.

 

• You can use affirmations to remind yourself of your positive traits, for example

o   I am kind 

o   I am good at…

o   People really like my…

o   I’m proud I can…

o   I am loved by…

o   I feel good when…

 

• Think of three things your Inner Critic finds fault with and consciously turn them around – write down the positive in your journal. You can use your journal as a way of visualizing your goals – what do you want to achieve, feel or do today, this week, by Christmas? 

 

• You can also make your journal a beautiful object – go to an art store and buy your favorite colors in a range of media – pencils, watercolors, collage papers, stamps. Use glitter, stickers, puff paints – you can go wild and treat your inner child. Your book about you will reflect all the colors within. Or maybe you’d prefer something more minimalist – make your journal a thing of monochrome beauty, use lovely rich Japanese inks, textured papers, graphite. Experiment with pens, pencils, and brushes – see how many different lines you can make. 

 

Make journaling a happy activity. Something that you enjoy working on and reading. And then when you do have times when you’re not feeling so good about yourself, you have a tangible object to look at to defeat your Inner Critic.

Top Tips for Staying Inspired According to Life Coaches

The job of a life coach is relatively unique. It’s a heavy responsibility to act as both guide and guru to help keep your clients on track toward achieving their goals. That’s why it’s so important to stay motivated – especially when your day job is in motivating others on a fairly regular basis.

 

How do life coaches stay inspired? We can each take a page from their book to keep motivated and fulfilled in our lives. 

 

1. Life coaches set firm boundaries. You can't take on your client's lives or problems. Maintaining a professional distance is essential not just for the health of the client, who needs to learn how to succeed on their own, but also for the mental health of those doing the guiding.

 

How can you apply this to your own life? Are there people in your life who expect too much of you? Do you always give in? Learn why boundaries are important and how you can set them in a loving, yet firm way.

 

2. Life coaches remember to put themselves first once in a while. There's a lot to be said for ‘me time.' For someone who lives by inspiration, you must ensure you consistently replenish your energy, and your natural positivity is at the fore. That is crucial for success.

 

What does this mean for you? Take time for a massage or bubble bath. Read things that inspire. Schedule a date with yourself, where you concentrate entirely on you. Repeat as often as necessary to keep your mood positive.

 

3. Find a friend. Going it alone is never easy. Having someone you can turn to is healthy and necessary. Life coaches understand that too much time alone can lead to depression. We all need others to keep us inspired to move ahead.

 

A life coach would tell us we need to take time for close relationships too. Feeling connected and supported naturally leads to staying in a positive mental space, even when times are tough.

 

5. Journal about it. A life coach well knows the value of journaling. A gratitude journal keeps you focused on the positive things that happen each day so you can draw upon those experiences later as you need. 

 

For you, find the magic that lies in writing about the things that go right, that you're thankful about daily. A grateful heart breeds inspiration and keeps you from exploring the negativity just because others are.

 

You don't have to be a life coach to stay confident and inspired. But you can use their tricks to keep positivity high in your own life. Staying inspired isn't all that hard. It's mostly about remaining aware of the world around you and remembering to look for the good first in all things.

 

Top 4 Reasons Why You Should Aspire to Inspire Others

How many people do we come into contact with every day? Think about it. You talk to your co-workers or classmates. You brush up against how many strangers from the clerk in the grocery store to the barista who made you that cup of coffee? We spend time with friends, or we go out and do things with the expectation of meeting new people. It’s probably safe to say that in a week you've probably interacted with, at least on some level, a hundred people, most of which you barely talked to at all.

 

But what if you were capable of taking those interactions deeper, to the level of something special. Unique. What if you could inspire someone else, and indeed make a difference in their lives? 

 

It's a powerful thought. Of course, you can’t change every interaction – it would be impossible to get anything done if you did. But when you stop to think about the value that you bring to the world, the things that you know and understand in ways that no one else does, there comes the point where you have to ask, what if you could share that with someone else?

 

In short, what if you could be inspiring? It’s not as hard as you think. Here are four ways that will hopefully convince you that yes, you should “aspire to inspire.”

 

1. You can help someone realize their potential. Personal growth is a fascinating process. As you get to know people, you get to see them in their highs and lows. It’s where those lows occur where you can find an opportunity. A word of encouragement at the right time might be just what they need to labor on and overcome a challenge. 

 

2. It’s life-changing – for both you and them. Personal growth culminates in those tremendous moments where you might be just the person to inspire someone to change their path entirely or to consider a course of action that they might not have before.

 

3. The world becomes a better place. OK, maybe this seems a little over the top but think about it for a minute. That person you inspired might go on to encourage someone else. Or may build something or do something amazing. Imagine now that all of that started with you. Like ripples in a pond after a rock is thrown into the water, you never know just how far that influence will spread, and what shore those ripples will eventually touch. 

 

4. YOU change. Remember that you're not in it to see what you can get out of it. Inspiring others though has a way of rewarding you both personal fulfillment and growth. In the end, you’re not going to be the same person you were anymore. That kind of satisfaction comes with a unique special kind of happiness.

 

Aspiring to Inspire is a fantastic process. Give it a try – you'll be amazed at where you end up. 

 

Why You Should Choose Inspiration Over Motivation

Inspiration and motivation are not the same things. There is an argument that they are quite the opposite from one another. Inspiration is a strong desire to create, to reach out and make something or do something that never existed before. Motivation is a general willingness or the reason for an action.

 

What’s the difference? It’s all in how we express it. Motivated people charge forward, not letting anyone stop them or interfere with their process. Inspiration, on the other hand, pulls other in your wake and drags them along. With motivation, you grab the vision and run with it. With inspiration, the idea grabs hold of you.

 

Have you ever had an inspiration? You can probably remember every detail, the time it hit, the idea behind it, the way it felt. With motivation, that comes and goes and maybe you remember the project that came from it, but not in the fine detail that inspiration leaves on you.

 

And that is probably the most significant difference. Motivation wears out. Often it runs out long before the project is over. Inspiration can last a lifetime and take you to new horizons you’d never thought of before.

 

Motivation is like the coach that yells about “getting up,” “hitting harder,” “running faster.” It’s the push that we need to get over the initial slump or over that mid-point. Inspiration doesn’t need a push or a press. Inspiration is more like finding a new perspective, a fresh eye where you’ve never known existed.

 

You cannot teach inspiration; it can’t be passed on from one person to another. Inspiration comes indirectly, stealing into our thoughts when we don’t expect it when we’re clear-headed and often concentrating on something else.

 

Motivation is the drive to bring creation to reality, to finish the project, but inspiration is the birth of creativity. Inspiration can be a life-changing event that completely realigns your perspective on a permanent basis. 

 

Motivation is independent of passion. Motivation is often a replacement for passion; inspiration is passion at its most raw. Inspiration is an idea, a vision that takes hold and never let's go. People who are inspired are more likely to succeed, more likely to influence others.

 

Being motivated to a task typically does not motivate another. Being inspired, on the other is contagious. Inspired people catch others in their passion and create inspiration in them. It’s easy to get caught up in a dream and then dream your vision, making inspiration the more valuable of the two.

 

Happiness: A Key To Life’s Satisfaction

According to Wikipedia, "Happiness, in the context of mental or emotional states, is positive or pleasant emotions ranging from contentment to intense joy. Other forms include life satisfaction, well-being, subjective well-being, flourishing and eudaimonia."

 

According to VeryWellMind, "Happiness is an emotional state characterized by feelings of joy, satisfaction, contentment, and fulfillment. While happiness has many different definitions, it is often described as involving positive emotions and life satisfaction."

 

Psychology Today says, "Happiness is defined differently depending on who you ask. Some people define happiness as a positive emotional experience. Others define happiness as having two parts called hedonia (pleasure) and eudaimonia (thriving). Outside of the scientific world, most of us define happiness as a mixture of positive emotional experiences and a deeper sense of meaning and purpose in life."

 

According To PursuitOfHappiness.org, "Leading Positive Psychologists claim that happiness has three sources, i.e., that the “Happiness Pie” has three slices: Slice 1: Our genetic makeup. Slice 2: Our environment. Slice 3: Our actions.”

 

Sonja Lyubomirsky, an author and researcher on positive psychology, describes happiness thus, “the experience of joy, contentment, or positive well-being, combined with a sense that one’s life is good, meaningful, and worthwhile.”^[2] So, there is an evaluative component here, along with a felt one. How we think about what we feel matters as much as what we experience.

 

In a rather unhelpful fashion, dictionary.com defines happiness as “the quality or state of being happy.”Fortunately, the second definition elaborates with “good fortune; pleasure; contentment; joy.”^[1] What’s clear is that happiness is a subjective experience, it is something we feel, and hence it is lived individually, isn’t guaranteed, and can be transitory.

 

What does happiness mean to you?

 

Days Go By Swiftly

 

This experience becomes more evident the longer you live. Amidst the rush of seconds, minutes, and hours filled with work, family, and friends, it can be easy to lose track of where we are. Without care, we can end up in places we didn’t intend to, simply because we weren’t paying close enough attention, steering deliberately, and sometimes pumping the brakes.

 

To go where we want to go takes conscious effort. Most of us would like to experience a fulfilling life. A key way to achieve this is through doing things that bring joy to our worlds. Herein, we’ll discuss how to cultivate happiness and in doing so, unmask the key to living a satisfying life.

 

How To Cultivate Happiness

 

To make happiness a lasting feature of your life takes a bit of self-knowledge. Are you communally minded? Then harmony will be a necessary ingredient for you. Are you more of an individualist? Then a lived experience of personal joy will drive you.

 

In any case, the context you live in, complete with work, friends, family, home situation, cultural elements, and personal values, will all factor into how you find satisfaction. In addition, how you look at the world and treat others plays a role. These factors put your happiness, at least partially, in your hands.

 

According to Psychology Today, “regularly indulging in small pleasures, getting absorbed in challenging activities, setting and meeting goals, maintaining close social ties, and finding purpose beyond oneself all increase life satisfaction. It isn't happiness per se that promotes well-being, it’s the actual pursuit that’s key.”^[3]

 

In other words, life is a process, and when we make the process itself valuable, rather than focusing on destinations, we create the potential for greater enjoyment. 

 

Furthermore, when we consciously develop our ability to see the good in our lives, even amidst hardships, we can begin to master ourselves, fostering an internal equilibrium. In doing so, our happiness is no longer in the hands of others or circumstances outside our control. Instead, we see that it is a lived thing that we must continuously cultivate.

 

The Takeaway

 

When you become clear about what matters to you, and you focus your efforts on pursuing those things, you bring meaning to each facet of what you do. Missteps and foibles don’t throw you off your game because you understand them to be a natural part of life’s equation. This internal locus of control gives you a sense of efficacy, something that benefits everyone. 

 

Since you experience happiness from within, make it a goal to prioritize helping it to grow. Foster ways of thinking and behaving that increase your enjoyment. You may not be able to control the world around you, but you can have a say in how you interpret it. So, choose happiness and watch your life’s satisfaction multiply. 

 

References:

1. “Happiness Definition & Meaning.” Dictionary.com, https://www.dictionary.com/browse/happiness. Accessed 19 October 2022.
2. Lyubomirsky, Sonja. The How of Happiness: A New Approach to Getting the Life You Want. Penguin Publishing Group, 2007. Accessed 19 October 2022.
3. “Happiness.” Psychology Today, https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/happiness. Accessed 19 October 2022.