The Power of No: Setting Boundaries for a Healthier You

“No is a complete sentence.”- Annie Lamott

Many of us people pleasers find it difficult to say no and establish boundaries. This often leads to us over-extending ourselves to others and feeling resentful when our boundaries are constantly crossed. But how can we expect others to respect our boundaries when we aren’t even communicating properly and saying no?

Learning how to say ‘no’ and set firm yet healthy boundaries is the key to mental peace and maintaining healthy relationships with others. Having loose boundaries and not being able to say no often leads to us feeling overwhelmed and burnt out. 

Understandably, we all want to be liked by others, but people-pleasing is not the way to go. It just allows others to walk all over us continuously. 

The Importance of Setting Boundaries

While it can be challenging to set boundaries with difficult people, it is important and the key to forming healthy relationships and taking care of your well-being. Saying no to things that do not serve you or you simply do not have the time for can help you focus on yourself and your priorities. It can enable you to create a balance in all aspects of your life. 

For example, if your boss asks you to come in and work on the weekends or expects you to work overtime late at night, it is important to set firm boundaries with your work, learn to say no respectfully, and create a work-life balance for your well-being. This helps you avoid any undue stress and helps you focus on other things in your life that might give you purpose or energize you like your family or hobbies. 

Healthy boundaries can free you from unrealistic expectations from others and the resentments that come with them. They can help you avoid conflicts in relationships. Setting healthy boundaries with your partner, friends, kids, or any other relationship you may have in your life can allow you to nurture these relationships, conserve energy, and save you from a lot of drama and toxicity. 

How to Set and Maintain Healthy Boundaries 

1. Find Your ‘Why’

 

Reflect on the reason you want to set a boundary. Perhaps something in your relationship or friendship is making you resentful and uncomfortable and you want to set a boundary with your friend to preserve your mental and emotional well-being. 

Start small. 

Start slowly and set a few boundaries initially and build them up slowly. Don’t go to an extreme level and set up rigid and unhealthy boundaries that you will not be able to maintain in the long run. Go at your own comfortable pace and make changes as needed. 

2. Set Boundaries Early On

Consider setting boundaries early on in a relationship as it can be hard to start putting boundaries around pre-existing relationships. For example, you could set boundaries early on with in-laws when you get engaged or married. This way you set expectations to be a certain way from the beginning avoiding any confusion or hurt in relationships. 

3. Stay Firm and Consistent

When setting boundaries, it is important to not let them slide as it will make people not take you seriously and just add to the confusion. Staying firm can help reinforce your boundaries. 

4. Communicate When Your Boundaries are Crossed

Confidently communicate when someone disrespects and crosses your boundaries continuously. You can communicate assertively and effectively without sounding aggressive or confrontational and still assert your boundaries. 

For example, if someone keeps calling you late at night repeatedly you could say something like, “I can see you want to get a hold of me, but the best thing would be to text me, and I will get back to you when I have the time in the morning.” This assertively highlights their behavior and sets and maintains your boundaries.

Setting boundaries and saying no to things that do not serve you can be an empowering experience and help you maintain great relationships. While setting your boundaries, it is also important to recognize the boundaries of other people and respect them just as you would expect them to respect yours. 

Try not to violate the boundaries of other people as it can cause resentment and contempt to build them which leads to toxicity in relationships and people withdrawing from others who may cross their boundaries. 

It is possible to set boundaries without being aggressive, confrontational, or upsetting people. Don’t feel guilty about setting boundaries and take it as an act of self-care and something crucial to your overall well-being. 

7 Things to Remember When You Feel Overwhelmed

Feelings of overwhelm can threaten your happiness and your relationships. When you take on more than you can handle, your body reacts with elevated stress levels. Often it results in you being short with other people. You may also forget to eat as you focus on getting your list done. Eventually, you may develop other mental health issues if you keep putting yourself through the same paces without any break.  

7 Things to Keep in Mind When You Feel Overwhelmed

At times, everyone gets overwhelmed, but that doesn’t mean you are a lost cause. Here are seven things to remember when you start feeling overwhelmed: 

• Your emotions are natural: Feelings of overwhelm are often a sign from your body that it is time to slow down and scale back. You can also control your feelings, so addressing this feeling and replacing it with better ones is possible.

• It isn’t the end of the world: This is part of life. The good news is that you can stop the feelings of overwhelm by recognizing it for what it is and taking proactive steps to prevent the cycle from happening.

• Now is a good time for a brain dump: Overwhelm leaves our minds cluttered. By writing down all of the things, you need to do or feel, you are alleviating some of the mental energy you have had to expend keeping it all in.

• Take action instead of wallowing in your thoughts: Action breeds more movement and will propel you out of your feelings of overwhelm. Additionally, new opportunities will crop up to help you chip away at your project.

• Avoiding digital stimulation is the better choice: Getting lost in social media will only leave you feeling worse when you realize you lost time to work. Notifications can leave you in a constant state of panic. Remember that it is okay to turn off notifications for periods of time and focus on what you need to get done.

• Stepping outside is a good thing: You do not have to be tied to your desk and laser-focused on what needs doing. Give your body the break it deserves to help you reset and recharge.

• You have been here before: More than likely, you have felt this way before. It won’t last, and you can shorten the timeframe by being proactive.

Feelings of overwhelm don’t have to stop you from being productive. Remember that this happens to us all, and you can take action to overcome it.

 

6 Steps You Can Take to Stop Feeling Overwhelmed

It’s 2 PM, and you are frustrated because you have accomplished nothing. Your list is still as long as your arm and more have been piled on your plate. Your heart starts racing while you get more agitated at your circumstances. 

Then it hits – the feelings of overwhelm threaten to drown you. It’s possible to reign in those feelings of overwhelm and kick them to the curb. If you let these feelings get out of control, your body will reap the negative consequences, including poor eating and sleeping habits.

How to Stop Feeling Overwhelmed

Are you ready to stop the feelings of overwhelm that threaten to overtake you? Put these six steps into practice: 

• Determine What Is Triggering the Feeling of Overwhelm: What started these feelings? For example, were you late to work because you overslept after staying up too late watching movies or working on a project? Take note and write it down if you need to.

• Reframe Your Feelings: You will probably be full of negative thoughts and emotions. Instead of giving in to anger or hopelessness, replace it with empowerment and determination to tackle what is before you.

• Sit Up Straight: As you feel overwhelmed, you may respond physically by hunching forward and taking shallow breaths. Take a moment to straighten up and take several deep belly breaths. The change will reinforce to your brain that you are switching emotions. 

• Decide on One Small Step You Can Take Right Now: Look over your list, and decide on a tiny thing you can do at that moment, and do it. Once it is accomplished, pat yourself on the back and choose another task. With each one, you slowly tackle those items that have been weighing you down. Also, you reinforce to yourself that you can get things done.

• Get Over What You Can’t Control: Focusing on things you cannot control is a waste of time, energy, and emotions. If you can do something about a situation, then take action. However, if you cannot, why not relax and let worry slip away.

• Guard Your Calendar: A significant culprit to being overwhelmed is not protecting your time. It is okay to say no and leave some white space on your calendar. It is up to you to ensure keep your calendar free from being overbooked.

You can beat the feelings of overwhelm by being proactive and getting your emotions under control. Once you do, you will be empowered to knock out that To-Do list and protect your time.

Breaking Bad Habits: 5 Effective Steps to Overcome Negative Patterns

If you are fully aware that something is bad for you, why is it so difficult to stop? 70% of smokers report that they want to quit. People who abuse alcohol or drugs struggle to break free of their control over their lives. Many people carry unhealthy weight that could be lost if they exercised more and ate right. Why do so many people have trouble overcoming these negative patterns? 

 

Scientists funded by the National Institutes of Health (NIH) are searching for the answer to that question. They study what happens in our brains while habits are forming. They have discovered clues to why our bad habits are hard to overcome. They are working on strategies that will help us make changes we need to make in our lives. 

 

Here are 5 effective steps for overcoming negative patterns and breaking bad habits:

1. Understand that Success Won’t be a Straight Line

 

As you begin trying to change, you will find setbacks and bumps in the road. They are parts of the important process of developing lasting change. You are your own worst critic, and you may view anything less than complete success as a failure. 

 

It may help to take the perspective of a third person and react as you would to a friend trying to change, instead of yourself. You would be reassuring and kind, rather than critical. Allow yourself the same treatment. 

2. Make an Achievable Game Plan

 

Start your journey with a game plan you can achieve. Just thinking about change isn’t normally enough to overcome negative patterns. Instead, use a journal – or your phone, or paper – and start with a plan. 

 

Gain some introspection into the changes you want to make. Consider:

• What is your main goal?

• Why is that goal one you want to achieve?

• Can you set smaller goals to help you reach the main goal?

• What things trigger your bad habit?

• What setbacks do you foresee?

• What types of coping strategies can help you deal with your triggers and your setbacks?

• What type of support system is available for you?

• How will you be tracking challenges and progress?

3. Keep Changes Simple

 

The reason it’s difficult to break your bad habits is that they are already automatic and easy. New behaviors are harder to adopt. Your brain has not yet taken them on. When you make your new goal behaviors simple, it helps in integrating them into your brain’s autopilot routines.

4. Practice Mindfulness

 

Mindfulness will assist you to develop an awareness of your thoughts, your feelings, and your actions. Simply observe the impulses related to your bad habits without reacting to them or judging them. 

 

As you develop awareness of your routine behaviors and those triggers that cause them, you can consider other available options, like not acting on your urges or avoiding cues that cause you to remember bad habits. 

 

Practicing consistent mindfulness will also help you in noticing ways in which your habits affect your life on a daily basis. As you begin recognizing those effects, it helps you to feel driven to change the bad habits. 

5. Cut Out Your Triggers

 

Cut as many triggers as you can from your life. If you usually smoke when drinking, don’t drink alcohol. If you eat whatever cookies you have in your house, throw them away. Make it easier to break your bad habits by avoiding whatever causes them. 

Conclusion

 

Once you have broken a bad habit, what’s the next step? You need to plan to prevent any relapse. Bad habits are difficult to break, and it will usually take multiple attempts to change. Remember to be compassionate with yourself, so you won’t give up when you encounter a setback or roadblock. That makes success much more probable.

References

 

https://www.healthline.com/health/how-to-break-a-habit#be-mindful

 

https://www.heart.org/en/healthy-living/healthy-lifestyle/mental-health-and-wellbeing/how-to-break-bad-habits-and-change-behaviors

 

https://www.health.harvard.edu/blog/how-to-break-a-bad-habit-202205022736

 

https://health.clevelandclinic.org/how-to-break-bad-habits

 

5 Soul-Nourishing Activities for Personal Growth

Your soul is the essence of your being. It guides you on life’s journey’s and drives your passions. Nourishing your soul is an essential part of your spiritual and personal growth and well-being. In the fast-paced world of today, where there is much anxiety and stress, making time for your self-care is vital in finding your inner peace and feeding your spirit. 

Soulful living refers to cultivating a fulfilling life and embracing your true self. It helps you to discover your innermost passions and desires and find ways to bring those to life. When you prioritize emotional well-being, self-discovery, and personal development, you can create a firm foundation for a soulful life. 

Nourishing your soul is essential for leading a fulfilling, balanced, and meaningful life. Just as your body needs food and water to thrive, your soul requires care and attention to flourish. 

Here are 24 compelling reasons to prioritize nourishing your soul:

1.    Promotes Inner Peace

2.    Fosters Authentic Connections

3.    Enhances Emotional Resilience

4.    Ignites Creativity and Inspiration

5.    Increases Self-Awareness

6.    Provides a Sense of Purpose

7.    Supports Physical Health

8.    Deepens Your Spiritual Connection

9.    Cultivates Gratitude

10. Promotes Mental Clarity

11. Encourages Personal Growth

12. Strengthens Your Intuition

13. Improves Relationships

14. Rekindles Joy

15. Helps You Break Free from Old Patterns

16. Builds Compassion and Empathy

17. Prevents Burnout

18. Aligns You with Your Passions

19. Encourages Mindfulness

20. Creates a Ripple Effect

21. Leads to Lasting Happiness

22. Helps You Navigate Transitions

23. Improves Your Relationship with Yourself

24. Inspires a Legacy

Here are 5 soul-nourishing activities that will lead to personal growth.

1. Fueling Your Passions

Set aside time every day to do whatever makes your soul its happiest. Getting caught up in your day-to-day life can leave you placing the things you enjoy off to the side. Life is all about balance. 

You may work so much that you forget how much you enjoy painting, dancing, music, gardening, or writing. Make time for things like this that can make you happy. Working without playing may leave you with more risk of excess stress and health issues. Be sure to set aside time for play and fun in your life, so you can do more of the things you love. 

2. Spending Time in Nature

Spend some time in nature each day, to help nourish your body, soul, and mind. Nature gives you respite from the distractions and demands of your life and lets you reconnect with yourself on a more profound level. 

Immersing yourself in nature can reduce stress, boost your mental well-being, and improve your mood. It gives you a chance for some relaxing physical activity, too. The natural light and fresh air invigorate your body, promoting vitality and physical health. Nature also offers inner peace and a sanctuary where you can reflect and be nourished spiritually. 

3. Experiencing and Performing Acts of Compassion and Kindness

If you have experienced acts of kindness from strangers, you’ll remember how good they feel. Compassion and kindness like that has ripple effects. When you are kind, it doesn’t matter how small your acts of kindness may be. 

You will experience kindness that comes back to you from the experience. When you’re kind, your soul opens and is nourished. It expands and embraces the world. In that state, you feel transformed, and feel that you can transform the lives of others, as well, allowing for personal growth. When you perform kind acts, you influence other people to be kind as well, creating an endless chain of kindness. 

4. Cultivating Mindfulness

When you can live in the moment, it’s meaningful, because you really only have the present. Take a moment to be still, to listen to your thoughts, in ways like these:

• Focus first on your breathing, rather than your thoughts.

• Let your thoughts come and go easily and refocus on your breathing.

• Sit in a position comfortable for you. 

• Find a quiet, safe place where you can meditate, so you can relax and focus. You can be mindful indoors or outdoors. 

5. Listening to Other People

You can nourish your soul when you listen to others. Truly listening is not an easy thing to do – too often you’re thinking about your next reply. You have been conditioned since youth to wait until another person stops talking and then jump in with your thoughts. 

But that is not true listening. In real listening, you give 100% of your attention to the person talking, without worrying about what you want to say. True listening is a wonderful gift you can give to someone.

Conclusion

Even if you have everything in this world that you need, like money, shelter, food, and other material things, it’s too easy to forget that you need to practice spirituality to nourish your soul. Performing soul-nourishing activities is essential to your sense of well-being and your personal growth. This will help you on life’s journey to improve your mental and emotional health.