4 Ways to Let Go of Your Need to be Validated Once and For All

How sure are you of yourself?

 

It’s hard to feel confident all the time. Sometimes you really just need to know you're doing okay. Everything will be all right. However, reassuring yourself can be hard, especially when considering past history, which might have left behind unpleasant baggage. Isn't it just a whole lot easier to find validation from someone else?

 

Sure, you can. Validation is a fairly simple fix. Most people don’t mind handing out a compliment or two, especially if they know and like you already. The problem is this kind of validation is rarely satisfying. The effects never last near long enough. 

 

With this in mind, maybe it’s time to let go of validation once and for all. Instead, try embracing just how wonderful you are through these simple techniques:

 

Understand Your True Need

 

Just what are you really seeking out right now? For example, while you might be looking for a compliment on your new haircut, what you're really wanting to know is if you're attractive. Perhaps you're even hoping to catch the eye of someone special. 

 

Delve deep and ask the hard questions about what's behind your current need. Once you know this, see if you can discover a more satisfying solution to the problem. In this example, it might be better to remind yourself of what you like about yourself and what makes you outstanding already.

 

Step Back from Quicksand Be True to Yourself

 

The minute you start trying to please those around you to be liked, you're stepping into a miry wasteland. You'll soon discover you can never impress someone just once. You’ll always be trying to outdo yourself. Recognize when you’re falling into this trap and remind yourself it’s better to be liked for who you are, not how well you can fit someone else’s ridiculous standards.

 

Be True to Yourself

 

Being agreeable to what other people have to say is not only another way to be liked. It also compromises what you believe in. Take a pause now before speaking. Consider what you were about to say. Was this you talking or them? You might want to reconsider your words. It is better to be honest about how you feel, or if need be, stay silent rather than compromise your ideals.

 

Show Your Individuality

 

Finally, just be you. Speak your mind, be authentic, and step out in confidence. Quit second-guessing yourself and instead live harmoniously with your own beliefs. 

 

Remember: never compromise who you are for the sake of flattery or acceptance. Instead, look to yourself and see instead just how wonderful you already are.