Are you shy? Does the thought of speaking in a group have you making up excuses? Or are you afraid of having a conversation with a new friend? Shyness is surprisingly very common. Survey results report that about 40 to 60 percent of all adults identify as someone shy. However, like all character traits, shyness can be overcome with the proper steps.
1. Identify Your Triggers
Nobody is shy all of the time. The odds are that there are situations where you feel relaxed and comfortable. Identify what makes you shy. It can be speaking in public, asking a lady out, or simply being alone in a crowded space. When you identify the triggers for your shyness, you can plan a course of action for when such situations arise. You will also plan on ways to overcome them.
These triggers can be especially hard to identify in most cases. It might be a smell, a location, or even a sound. However, it is crucial to do so as it is the first step to overcoming your shyness.
2. Be Informed
If you dread speaking to a crowd or having small talks, you can increase your odds of not turning such an experience into a social disaster when you read about the topic. If you are shy of being at a party because you fear you'll be the odd thumb, you could read on current happenings, watch a trending video, or research on a recent event. This way, you are well informed about an issue and can chip into discussions or start one yourself.
If you're shy, it's likely to get even worse when everyone is talking about an event you are unfamiliar with. Staying up to date with events would help boost your confidence in social situations as you can engage with people and enlighten anyone who isn't in the know.
3. Set Goals
While you want to be like the super confident kid who seamlessly navigates the social setting and seems to make a new friend every time they step out of their house, it'll be more helpful if you aim a bit lower at first.
You can begin by finding out your trigger and creating an action plan to overcome it. If you are shy when called to speak in public, you could start by addressing five of your friends and slowly increase the number until you overcome that trait. Create simple goals and work your way to the top.
4. Record Your Successes
It's a good idea to keep track of the successes you've made in overcoming shyness and frequently read it when you feel you can't achieve a set milestone.
Odds are that you will be surprised by how far you've come, which will further increase your belief that overcoming shyness is possible. Psychologists state that reading how far you have progressed is a great way to stay motivated and keep trying.
5. Be Kind To Yourself And Take It Slow
You wouldn't suddenly get rid of shyness and become super confident after a few days of practicing these steps. No one gets rid of shyness overnight. As long as you're taking steps to become better, you should reward yourself.
Take as long as you need to get rid of shyness, and do not try to rush yourself. Rushing the steps or beating yourself over being "slow" will only delay the process and can make you stop trying.
In summary, shy people tend to spend a lot of time "inside their own heads," and it is easy to distort experiences. You might assume that your shyness not only stopped you from having a good time but ruined the event for everyone else. The chances of that being true is extremely slim. Don't beat yourself up over it and take as long as you need to overcome it. With consistency and determination, you'll get rid of it in no time.
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