Toxic people masquerade as a friend or loved one, but in reality, are unkind or harmful to you. Unfortunately, everyone can probably recall at least one toxic person they’ve encountered at some point in life.
Navigating relationships with toxic people is tricky business. For example, sometimes a toxic person is someone related to you or someone you’ve known for a very long time. In these situations, deciding whether or not to remove the toxic person from your life is pivotal life decision.
How can I identify a toxic person?
No two toxic people are exactly the same. However, there are some similar traits among toxic people that can help you identify whether or not they’re harming you more than helping or supporting you.
WebMD provides a list of general characteristics you can use to spot a toxic person:
● The person is manipulative; they may try pressuring you into doing things you don’t want to do
● The person leads you into situations that feel reckless or dangerous
● The person owes you an apology, but it never happens
● The person puts you down or makes you feel bad about yourself
● The person needs a lot of your time and attention
● The person’s behaviors are usually inconsistent or unpredictable
● The person will test (and often break) your personal boundaries
● The person may abuse substances such as drugs or alcohol
If any of these traits align with someone you suspect is a toxic person, it may be time to examine your relationship with them to see if they’re causing issues in your life.
What are some effects of allowing a toxic person to remain in my life?
Trying to maintain a relationship with a toxic person is nearly impossible. You may feel like you can keep the relationship going, but usually, the negative traits of the toxic person outweighs any of the good they may have.
Allowing a toxic person to remain in your life can harbor a ton of negative effects, including:
● Damage to your self-confidence
● Damage to relationships you have with other people
● Increased stress and anxiety
● Constant feelings of guilt or uncertainty
● Lack of trust within the relationship
● Increased involvement in drama
What are some strategies for removing a toxic person from my life?
Deciding to remove a toxic person from your life is pivotal. Take some time to have an honest look at your relationship. Whether you determine that you need to change your relationship with the toxic person or remove them from your life altogether, it’s important to approach the situation in a way that keeps you protected.
In an extreme situation where your safety is at risk, consider the following:
● Ghosting them (Note: this strategy should only be used in extreme cases where you are being mentally or physically abused. “Ghosting,” or disappearing from someone’s life completely with no notice or information, allows you to leave a person without any details. If your toxic person is abusing you, this is a method that will break off the relationship without giving them a chance to harm you again or know where you’ve gone, protecting your privacy and safety.)
In other situations where the person is toxic but not an immediate threat to your physical safety or wellbeing, consider the following:
● Having an honest, open conversation with them that sticks to the facts of the relationship. Explain to them why they’re hurting you and why the relationship needs to change or end.
A toxic person may try to sway your decision with lies, deception, or displays of emotions, but during these conversations, it’s vital to stick to the facts and not allow yourself to be manipulated by them anymore.
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