Empower Yourself by Breaking the Rules

Breaking the rules can empower you – really. Rules can severely limit your beliefs and purpose in life, keeping you back from expressing emotions and from trying new things.

 

Think about the negative things you tell yourself on a daily basis – “My parents/teachers said I couldn’t do that,” “I don’t have the brains to succeed,” “Nobody will want to dance with me.” Each of these negative thoughts are derived from a rule of society that needs to be broken.

 

If your parents/teachers said you couldn’t do something you’re passionate about, defy them. Break the rule and try. Unless you try, you may choose a path which will keep you unhappy the remainder of your life – or at least sad that you didn’t try.

 

When you stand like a statue in a group setting and let someone disrespect you or someone else without speaking up, you’re demeaning yourself – and that’s horrible for your self-esteem.

 

Speaking up and defending yourself or the belief or person can help you feel proud of yourself and have acted based on your own belief system – and bravery in the face of others who may want to put you down.

 

You may have been through one or several painful experiences in your past which has made an impact on your psyche and is still keeping you from moving forward with power and a purpose in life.

 

Dealing with the negatives that are defining you now is the only way to combat the experience and move on successfully with your life. That may mean breaking the rules that have held you back. The empowerment you gain from taking action will do wonders for your mindset.

 

At some point, you know you’re more than what your negative experiences have made you. You know through self-reflection that the blame isn’t all yours and that you can gain back your power with determination and knowledge.

 

Engaging in optimism in your life thoughts and trusting yourself to do the right thing are important in the empowering process. Find joy in breaking the rules which has kept you back, made you feel cynical about life and don’t compare yourself to others.

 

Be your own guide when it comes to empowering yourself. Don’t let others dictate what you should and shouldn’t be. Follow your own rules and guidelines for that, always being aware of the consequences and rewards of breaking a rule. Then, you can make an educated decision.

Assertiveness for Better Communication

Learning to communicate effectively means that you first must first learn how to be assertive. The other options of communicating are passiveness or aggressiveness – both of which tend to alienate those you’re trying to communicate with.

 

When you learn to communicate effectively by flexing your assertive muscles, you’ll experience a boost of self-esteem and a personal confidence which will help you succeed in all areas of your life.

 

You’ll learn to be less resentful or feel inadequate or guilty about your decisions and will experience more freedom in your life. But, most of all – the way you communicate will improve your relationships, both at work and at home.

 

Assertiveness means that you’re able to express your thoughts and feelings without anger and in an appropriate and honest way. You’ll be standing up for your rights as a thinking and valuable individual and others won’t be confused about your beliefs and opinions.

 

Some techniques you should learn to become a more effective communicator are:

 

• Broken Record – This technique that you persist in expressing what you want and how you feel without bringing anger and resentment into your tone of voice. The trick is to remain calm and express your wants very clearly. Then, keep repeating your point and don’t give up unless you decide to agree to a compromise.

• Fogging – A technique which involves not responding in an anticipated manner (defensive or placating). The method is one which gives a minimal response within a conversation – rather than being argumentative. When you’re not expressing the desired effect with the person, he or she will tire of the conversation.

• Handling Positive and Negative Comments – You may have trouble responding to compliments – or to respond to negative comments about you or something you’ve done. For positive comments, you should express your assertiveness by thanking the person and to negative criticism, you should express regret that the person feels that way and then ask what, in particular, do they have a problem with.

 

As you continue to practice your assertiveness with others, you’ll find that your skills of communication will increase and you’ll have less problems dealing with people.

 

You may find methods of your own which work – like not engaging a person in arguments or being able to walk away from a bullying situation calmly and without being angry.

 

Developing interpersonal skills is a self-confidence booster which can help you with day-to-day communication with those who are close to you and those you may need to deal with on a one-time basis.

5 Tips for Having Difficult Conversations with your Partner

You love your partner, but sooner or later, a tough conversation needs to happen. While this is normal, (after all, what relationship doesn’t have its bumps along the way) how you handle those conversations will determine whether you come away from this particular conflict with a stronger appreciation for each other. This is why it’s so important to handle difficult conversations well. 

 

How do you ensure you engage in the best conversation possible in these circumstances?

 

Start with Not Putting Off the Talk Longer than Necessary

 

Take time to count to ten or to take a few deep breaths before beginning. After all, starting with too much emotion will be more damaging than helpful. Once you’re cooled down though, it’s time to talk. Why is it better sooner rather than later? By putting things off, you tend to build up resentment and inflate the conflict. It’s important to address situations before they get out of hand. A small problem today is much easier to solve than a giant one several weeks from now.

 

Drop the Good News / Bad News Approach

 

No one likes waiting for the other shoe to drop, so instead of giving the compliment with a ‘but’ lurking to negate everything you’ve just said, just come out and say the bad news first. If you’re determined to add in the compliment, do so after the bad stuff is out of the way, so you leave the person on a more positive note.

 

Plan Your Conversation

 

Rather than blindside your partner with an uncomfortable discussion, let them know you have something you want to talk about. Make it clear you’re wanting to discuss something that affects your feelings, rather than starting out in an attack. There’s a vast difference between, “I’d like to talk to you sometime about your drinking” vs. “I’d like to talk to you about how I feel when I see you drinking so heavily.” 

 

What Are Your Goals?

 

In any heavy conversation, you need to agree at some point on common goals. Working toward the same thing will help you find your way through the conversation to that eventual place.

 

Keep a Positive Spirit

 

Aim for optimism. Even if the conversation isn’t going how you would like it to, finding something to hope for will soften the outcome no matter what. 

 

Difficult conversations are just that: Difficult. But having a plan in place will help you to get through them. Use these steps to build the framework of your conversation, and even if the outcome is bad, getting there won’t be as difficult as you think. 

 

How To Communicate More Clearly

Communication is the foundation of everything we do. Whether you leave the house or not, you still communicate with others daily, be it online or in person. How well you get along with people hinges on how well you communicate. How successful you are in life hinges on how well you communicate. There are a few 'rules' that you can apply to all of your communications. 

 

Why?

 

This is specifically for work or professional communication. Often, we waste a lot of time and energy communicating when we don't actually know why we're bothering. So, think about what you would like to accomplish? 

 

This can also be applied to your personal life, even idle chit-chat can have some type of purpose, whether it's bonding or getting to know someone. 

 

When others initiate a conversation, consider why it's taking place. If you can't understand why try to gently guide the dialogue to determine the why. The purpose of this is to focus and understand the why to avoid rabbit trails and side issues that detract from the manner at hand. 

 

In-Person Communication

 

Have you ever fallen out with someone over text message? Or watched a fight unfold on social media because one person read someone else's tone wrong? If you're dealing with a highly emotional issue, then it should be addressed in person. If it's impossible to do so in-person, at least do so via video call. This goes for positive and negative emotions. If you're delivering great news then you want everyone to get sucked into your positive energy. 

 

As far as bad news or negative conversations go, it will be received better if you do the job in-person. 

 

Email Facts

 

People often lose concentration when they are being given facts and figures verbally. If you're dealing with a finance issue, statistics, or otherwise, opt for emailing this information so the other person can easily look back on the numbers when necessary. 

 

No Talking, Just Listen

 

This is applicable to in-person communication. Stop spending so much time doing all the talking and start listening. Unless you are the one who came to the table to start a conversation, give others the respect they're due when they are trying to communicate their ideas or feelings. Don't dominate conversations with your motor-mouth. 

 

Simplicity

 

We live in a society of information overload so simplify your messages. You might use five sentences, but you can probably say it with one. 

 

Simple Ways to Add Gratitude into your Daily Life

Have you ever read articles about how people like Oprah or Tony Robbins start their day? They claim the practice of gratitude is one of the most powerful ways to change your life, and they are living proof. Keeping a gratitude journal is an excellent way to start noticing and counting your blessings. It’s simple, yet powerful. 

 

But there’s no need to stop there! 

 

There are many ways to add the practice of gratitude into your life so that you stay focused on appreciating all the amazing things you have in your life. Here are a few simple ways to add more feelings of gratitude in your life, starting now.

 

• Compliment a stranger—how many times have you admired someone’s haircut or blouse, but not complimented them on it? Start today!

• Let someone ahead of you in line—remember how it feels when you have one item, and all the people in front of you have a shopping cart full? Guess what? Everyone feels that way. The next time you get the opportunity, let that person go in front of you.

• Avoid negative media—it’s tough to stay focused on all the goodness around you when you allow all the negative news in the world to play in front of you every day. Find positive TV, movies and other media to watch instead.

• Cherish your friends—when was the last time you told your BFF how much you appreciate them being in your life? Not because of anything they’ve done, but just for loving and supporting you throughout your life’s journey.

• Listen deeply—so often, when we listen to someone talk we are rehearsing what we want to say next. Notice how often you do that and practice listening intently to the person, even if they are telling you about something that doesn’t interest you.

• Go outside and relish—most of us don’t get out into nature as much as we should. And that’s a shame because we miss out on so many wonders! Take time to go outside more. Go to the park and listen to the kids squeal with delight. Watch a hummingbird at your neighbor’s feeder. Enjoy the beauty of the natural world.

• Practice not complaining—when you start to notice how often you complain, you’ll be amazed! One day a week, practice not complaining, but rather reframe everything to put a positive, grateful spin on it. And mean it!

How to Cultivate an Attitude of Gratitude

To cultivate an attitude of gratitude, we have to take time from our busy day and remember to give thanks for all the blessings that keep coming our way on a daily basis. Gratitude keeps us focused on what we have rather than all the things we don't have, which keeps us in a victim mentality. 

 

We may not realize that gratitude is a choice and that it doesn't come easily to many of us. Most of us were taught as children to say "thank you" when someone gave us a present or did something nice for us. But after a while, “thank you” can become quite glib unless we learn ways to cultivate the attitude of gratitude. Practicing gratitude is also a skill which is never too late to develop. 

 

Here are some things to keep in mind to develop an attitude of gratitude: 

 

Express Gratitude 

 

When you are grateful for the things that you have and express gratitude, it takes it to another level and opens the door to feeling optimistic. Optimism is a skill that can be cultivated and one of the ways to develop it is to think, feel, and express gratitude both for the small and the big things that take place in your life. 

 

The Law of Attraction and Gratitude

 

An important way to apply the Law of Attraction is to raise your vibration by acknowledging and giving thanks for what you have or experience.

When you are in a state of gratitude, you are resonating and sending out a frequency of acceptance and harmony, and as a result, you resonate at a much higher vibrational frequency. This frequency is what attracts to you the events, conditions, and circumstances that you desire. 

 

A Grateful Heart

 

A grateful heart begins by reflecting and contemplating on all the wonderful things around you. It has to do with a state of being and has to be cultivated by self-reflection. It comes by considering how life has supported you. Things as simple as listening to the birds sing or enjoying the taste of a homegrown tomato can be cause for celebration when you focus on having a grateful heart.

 

Gratitude Quotes

 

A simple way to remember to express gratitude is by reflecting on gratitude quotes. As we contemplate on the truth of these powerful sayings by people from all walks of life, they help us make a subtle shift in the way we perceive life and enable us to concentrate on the positive things, rather than the negative.

 

Science Proves Gratitude Makes Us Happy

For most, gratitude is a pure outright thank you. For others a half-hearted thank you text or card may seal the deal. But in psychology, it's is not just an offhand action. Gratitude is a positive emotion that goes a long way in contributing to happiness. The recognition entails more than feeling thankful for an act of kindness or condition because it consists of a deeper appreciation for someone or something. It affirms the graciousness of the giver. When we focus more on the many blessings in our lives, we are more contented, cheerful and generous. The feeling goes both ways. 

 

The giver derives immense joy from the act, and the receiver appreciates the kindness. 

 

In a fast-paced world like ours, it is not unusual for daily blessings to go unnoticed. We often overlook the little acts of kindness we experience every day. Small acts of kindness shown daily culminate into a happier life. Whether receiving or giving gratitude, scientific studies prove that the result is immense happiness.

 

Better Health

 

Gratitude increases optimism, and optimism has been proven to boost the immune system. According to a study by Harvard Medical school, those who are optimistic live happier, healthier, longer lives. 

 

New Relationships 

 

Saying thank you may constitute good manners, but showing appreciation may help you create new friendships, as well as live a happier life. A 2014 study discovered that thanking an acquaintance for a kindness more often than not makes them seek a deeper relationship with you. It doesn’t matter how small the kindness. Simply acknowledging little deeds leads to new relationship opportunities, and of course, more happiness. 

 

Less Depression

 

Counting your blessings goes a long way in loving yourself without undue comparison. According to a study, a one-time act of thoughtful appreciation produced a 10% increase in happiness and 35% reduction in depression. 

 

Business Health

 

As an entrepreneur or a team player, gratefulness is non-negotiable. Everyone loves to be appreciated. So, think of the world of good it would do your business if you showed more gratitude in your life. Send a thank you email or card. Say thanks when someone goes out of their way to make your life and business easier. Showing gratitude to workers, clients and investors makes you all happier and will give your business the needed boost because everyone you deal with will feel appreciated. 

 

Cultivating and sustaining an attitude of gratitude goes a long way in helping you achieve happiness since there is virtually no downside to this simple act. Though it may seem tasking at first, it becomes easy with persistence.

 

Top Tips for Staying Organized and Productive at Work

Whether you work for yourself or someone else you will need to be both organized and productive at work; every day. Not only will you feel better but you'll also impress your boss, colleagues and clients. So how can you make sure that you stay organized and productive?

 

Clear Clutter

 

Your work space should be clear and clutter-free. By removing distractions, you will make sure that you remain focused on your work. Have a trash can by your desk and use it. If it's trash, then it isn't needed so bin it immediately! Add a small container for recycling and put anything that can be recycled into it as soon as you've finished with it.

 

Process Your Emails

 

Emails are a huge time suck. Instead of just reading them or thinking you'll read or act on them later take a more structured approach.

 

Set a specific time for dealing with emails each day. Don't check them in between.

 

Use folders to organize emails: junk/spam, trash, by project or client, personal and to do. Any emails that require you to take action and that cannot be completed at that moment should be put into the to do folder. Make it a habit to work through your to do folder and empty it every day. Have a specific time slot allocated for that each day.

 

Delete junk, spam and emails that aren't important or needed for further action and empty those folders at the end of each day.

 

Schedule It

 

If you work for an organization, then you probably have set break times. However, if you work for yourself then it will be up to you to decide when to take a break. Make sure to schedule in regular breaks as these will keep you more focused and productive.

 

If you sit down for a large part of your day you need to take regular time out to get up and walk around. This will keep you fitter and reduce tiredness.

 

Stay Hydrated

 

Your body and brain need water to stay hydrated and to achieve optimal performance. Of course, you don't need to drink plain water all the time but you should limit caffeinated drinks such as tea and coffee. 

 

Don't Skip Lunch

 

It can be all too easy to skip a meal when you are really busy. However, this won't actually boost your productivity as you'll find your blood sugar level will drop and you’ll lose energy and the ability to focus.

 

Make sure that you’ll always have lunch by taking it with you. If you can’t make it yourself then buy it on the way in to the office. Make sure to have a couple of healthy snacks ready to have during the day.

 

These simple tips will help you to stay organized and productive when you’re working.

 

To Do List Success Tips

The humble to do list is a powerful organization tool. It doesn't matter whether you create and keep a digital list using an app such as Todoist or use a pen and paper. What matters is that you create and use your lists every day to help you get and stay organized. The following tips will ensure that your to do lists are a successful tool in your organizational tool box.

 

Keep it Short

 

The ideal length of a to do list is 10 items or less. You've probably created lists in the past that have seemed endless. Instead of helping you feel organized and successful, you probably ended the day with most of the items still unchecked and feeling a failure.

 

By keeping your list purposely short you are more likely to cross off every item and end the day feeling successful.

 

Separate Lists for Home and Work

 

Don't add your work tasks to your personal to do list. Maintain separate lists.

 

Prioritize

 

Once you've listed everything you need to accomplish then number the items in order of priority. Do the most important items first and you'll feel the biggest sense of achievement.

 

If there are any items on your list that aren't important then mark them as such. That way you won't need to feel guilty if you don't cross them off.

 

Assign a Time Limit

 

Wherever possible set a time limit for every item on the list. Not just how long it will take but when it needs to be done. That way you can identify tasks that need to be completed before lunch or before picking up the kids from school.

 

Re-visit and Re-work

 

A to do list should be a working document. Once written it should be revisited throughout the day. You can check off those items you've completed and reprioritize or schedule those that remain.

 

You can also cross items off that are no longer important or unnecessary. It will also give you the opportunity to add any additional tasks that crop up during the day.

 

Keep it with You

 

How often have you made a to do list at the beginning of the day and then totally ignored it? Probably because you left the house without it at the beginning of the day!

 

To make sure that your list is where you need it you could use an app such as Todoist or Jamie's To Do. Better still you could keep your daily to do list in your daily or weekly spread in your bullet journal. That way it will be with you wherever you go and you'll get the satisfaction of marking off the items as you complete them. You'll also have a visual record of your achievement.

 

Your to do list can be a powerful tool for helping you to live an organised life. Using these tips will help you to ensure that it is used successfully.