The Stress Relieving Value of Accepting Your Differences

Were you ever teased as a child? A lot of us were. Some kids will make fun of others who are fatter or skinnier, taller or shorter, or different in some other way. They, unfortunately, learn this behavior from adults who likewise chastise their colleagues, friends, and others for nothing more than being different.

 

This becomes a big problem when several children attack another child and declare some difference to be negative. When this behavior is ongoing, the different child can begin to feel low self-worth. After all, if everyone is telling her that she's different and that her differences aren't good, they must be right.

 

Why else would they all be saying the same thing? That child becomes upset with the person she sees in the mirror. Why is she overweight? Why is her skin different from others? Why wasn't she given the intelligence that all her friends have? This leads to self-doubt, low self-esteem, and in some cases, risky and unsafe behavior.

 

Stress Is a Killer, but It Doesn't Have To Be

 

Obviously, that's a very stressful scenario. Unfortunately, this is a common situation for not just children but teens, young adults, and even older grown-ups.

 

It causes so much stress, both physical and mental. The stress starts to build up because the differences are seen as negative. The marvelous, unique individual that was created is not allowed to be who they really are. They try not to be themselves.

 

On the physiological side of the equation, this chronic stress produces chemicals that lead to anxiety, depression, and other negative feelings. Ask any doctor, and they'll tell you stress is related to most chronic illnesses and many major causes of death.

 

Your differences don't have to be stressful. They shouldn't be. When you embrace who you are, you realize you have much to offer the world. You're fine just like you are right now. This leads to confidence and less stress. You aren't as anxious about trying to please others by fitting into some silly idea they have of who you should be.

 

Your confidence and self-esteem go up when you accept and love your differences. 

 

You'll also find that certain people in your life want to manipulate you rather than accept who you are. Perhaps you should move on from these people and spend more time with supportive individuals who encourage your uniqueness.

 

Be happy with who you are. You're the only "you" that will ever be created. There will never be another human being exactly like you. When you embrace that fact and look at your differences as advantages, you'll suffer less stress and anxiety and enjoy more self-love, fulfillment, and success.

 

If You Want Less Stress and Anxiety, Learn to Empathize More

Stress is a killer. You might hear someone say, "The stress at my job is killing me!" They could be overstating the situation. In many cases though, stress can quite literally kill you.

 

Chronic stress is related to the six leading causes of death. It's believed that more than 75% of all trips to the emergency room or a doctor are stress-related. So the next time a friend tells you stress is killing him, you might want to take that statement seriously.

 

Ask anyone you know and they'll tell you of a stressful situation they experienced recently. This is an unfortunately common occurrence. You might have too much stress in your own life.

 

For a number of reasons, you can benefit from stressing less and relaxing more often. If that sounds like something you'd enjoy, just learn to empathize more.

 

How Empathy Leads to Less Stress and Depression

 

An empathetic person can place themselves in the emotional experience of someone else. That's the first part of empathy. The part of the empathetic process some people forget is responding in a way that's helpful.

 

You see a coworker has a huge workload. She's stressing out and you know there's no possible way she can hit a proposed deadline. You communicate to her that even though her productivity is excellent and she's a great worker, you don't know how she's going to get everything done. 

 

You just paid her a compliment. You saw her emotions were frazzled and she wasn't in a good place mentally. So, you said something nice about her ability on the job.

 

The next thing you can do after you identify with her situation is to provide assistance. Offer to help her tackle some of her responsibilities. When you do, your coworker will thank you. She'll experience less stress, and science tells us that you'll also have less stress, anxiety and depression.

 

When you learn to recognize that someone else is experiencing negative emotions, you want to help. This is the response for most people. What also happens is that you subconsciously recognize that you're not in that situation. You can understand your coworker's emotional stress, but you aren't experiencing the same thing yourself.

 

Dr. Jamil Zaki is a psychology professor and the director of the Social Neuroscience Laboratory in Stanford. He says empathy can help you see past the many differences people have. It helps you move past prejudice or bias. These are negative emotions. They can produce a stress response in your body. Empathy doesn't allow that to develop.

 

Dr. Zaki also says empathy makes people happier in their relationships and even more successful at work. Studies show us that an empathetic person learns how to process his or her own emotions properly by being able to recognize the emotions other people are going through. That means being more empathetic in your life cannot only help others, but it can also give you a wonderful boost of less stress and more peace of mind.

 

You Can Communicate Your Feelings Without Upsetting Others—Here’s How

Have you ever held back on saying something because you didn’t want to upset someone? There’s always a point where you internally debate whether or not to open up or say something, and it’s vital that you take that moment to decide to go forth and communicate. It’s not about avoiding upsetting people but rather about being confident in yourself and your feelings. You’re allowed to feel a certain way, and in order to communicate those feelings, start with these X tips. 

 

1. Understand Yourself Fully First

 

If you start a conversation off with anger or frustration or something else that fuels you to confront someone, chances are you will upset them. Instead, take some time to understand yourself first. Then, when you decide to communicate your feelings, you’ll have a clear headspace, and you’ll be ready to discuss maturely. 

 

2. Decide What to Communicate and What Not to Communicate

 

Some things are best kept to yourself. That doesn’t mean repressing them, but if you get annoyed at your friend for going shopping too often, that’s more of a personal problem than a problem you should voice. Before you jump into a conversation, delineate between the things you should discuss and the things you shouldn’t discuss. 

 

3. Think About Who You Trust

 

Opening up about emotions and vulnerability means you are ready to talk to someone about something serious. But that doesn’t mean you trust the person. You may feel vulnerable and just want a listening ear, but if you’re opening up to someone you don’t trust, you could get yourself into trouble. Make sure the person you’re speaking to is someone you trust – and someone who cares about you! 

 

4. Be Caring

 

There’s nothing good about a conversation that spirals into a heated discussion or anger-fueled debate. Be caring and empathetic with your words. Remember that at the end of the day, the person you’re communicating with is a human just like you. They deserve the respect you’d like to be treated with. The golden rule may seem outdated, but it should always be in the back of your mind – especially when you’re opening up in a feely discussion. 

 

5. Be Independent

 

It seems counterintuitive to think about being independent when you’re opening up to someone, but it’s a big component of a healthy discussion. Despite your relationship with this person, you are you. You need to be responsible for your feelings and actions, and you need to understand that no one is responsible for making you feel a certain way other than yourself. 

5 Steps to Effectively Communicate Your Feelings in Relationships

In relationships, there’s communication, and then there’s effective communication. Communication is something that takes a lot of work, and once you’ve successfully positioned yourself as a communicator, the next step is to crack the code at being an effective communicator. If you’re at that step, try these 5 mini steps to help you along with effectively communicating your feelings. 

 

1. Allow Yourself to Feel 

 

Going into a conversation with guilt or apprehension about your feelings? That won’t help you or your partner. You’re completely allowed to feel whatever you’re feeling, and you’re also allowed to talk about those feelings. 

 

2. Label your Feelings

 

You’re experiencing these feelings, but are you reading more into them? Are you labeling them and trying to put into context the essence of your emotions? It’s not easy to do, but it’s a really important exercise for you to do on your own before opening up and sharing with someone else. 

 

3. Start with Yourself

 

If you’re extroverted or you like talking about your feelings a lot, your first inclination may be to talk it out with your significant other. That’s a great thing to do, but it begins with you. You’ll have a hard time processing everything if you’re influenced by someone else’s insight or advice. Start with yourself, and then work your way up to a discussion with your partner. 

 

4. Remember How Much You Matter

 

You matter to your significant other; your feelings matter to your significant other. Keep this in mind and try to negate the potential fear or hesitation you may be experiencing. Swap those feelings for feelings of confidence and security in the strength of your relationship. 

 

5. Swap “You” for “I”

 

Whenever you get close to saying “You made me feel” or “You did this,” swap it for a personal statement. A conversation is helpful for you to share your perspective – not for you to point fingers at your loved one. Think about how you feel, why you feel that way, and what has happened to contribute to those feelings. 

 

Above all, when you’re entering into a conversation with your significant other, be happy that you’re taking this step. It’s excellent for you and even better for your relationship. Give yourself (and your partner) a pat on the back for working through something difficult, and keep yourself reminded of the light at the end of the communication tunnel – a happy, healthy dynamic between you and your partner. 

 

The 2/1 Communication Secret to Become More Charming

Charming is a word that has different meanings for different people. The word charisma is often brought to mind. When you think of someone as charming, you may feel that person is desirable and delightful, pleasant and appealing, maybe even magnetizing. 

 

Often times you won't be able to put your finger on exactly what draws you to that person. You just know you feel pleasant in their company and enjoy being around them.

 

Do you want to be more like that? Could you advance your career if you learned how to turn on the charm when dealing with others? It's an important skill that socially graceful people use to improve their relationships. Even when interacting with people they don't necessarily like or respect, a charming person can leave a good impression.

 

If you'd like to communicate more effectively and have people refer to you as charming and likable, there's one very simple thing you need to start doing. By the way, this doesn't take much practice. You are already physically hardwired to give off a more friendly, charming, and engaging vibe.

 

You just have to do a little basic math.

 

How Many Ears Do You Have? How Many Mouths?

 

Don't worry. You don't have to break out the calculator here. Just perform a simple math-based assumption.

 

You have 2 ears that are always open.

You only have 1 mouth, and it can be closed.

 

That should tell you what you were created to do more often. You should be listening much more than talking. The charming person is an excellent listener. 

 

She doesn't do it falsely. She asks many questions and uses facial expressions to show she's interested in the person talking. She listens deeply and can repeat things that have been told to her. Those are charming qualities.

 

As writer Eugene O'Neill stated ...

 

"We were given mouths that close and ears that don't ... that should tell us something."

 

Ancient philosopher Epictetus gave us the same lesson for being more charming.

 

"We have two ears and one mouth, so we can listen twice as much as we speak."

 

Being Charming Is All About Listening

 

Talking is an important part of being charming. You have to say the right things. You should also be genuine. People can tell when you're false and trying to manipulate them. So really care about the person you're talking to. Say pleasant things and think about the experience for the other person rather than yourself.

 

Then listen deeply. Get into the conversation, so when you decide to talk, you repeat things the person has said. You let them know you're truly listening and getting into the feelings and emotions being relayed. You were given two ears and only one mouth, and that mouth can close. So do at least two times more listening than talking if you want to be more charming and engaging.

 

The Art Of Patience

The Dictionary defines patience as, “the capacity to accept or tolerate delay, trouble, or suffering without getting angry or upset. “

 

Patience is a skill that many of us could learn how to master better. We may get short with our kids, have some road rage, or struggle with other issues that make us stamp our feet or get frustrated over the little things. Learning the art of patience can facilitate more success, healthier relationships with others and yourself, improve wellbeing and much more. 

 

What is Patience?

 

"One minute of patience, ten years of peace" - Greek Proverb 

 

First, we need to take a closer look at patience and what it means. Patience is a state that occurs between an experience that you have and your reaction. Whether you want to be patient with yourself, with those around you, or with life, patience always seems to be how you deal with obstacles or delays in life. 

 

Those with patience will find that they can let go of some of the things that occur to them that are outside their control. This can be hard for some people to do. But when you are successful, it can help you to live a happier life because you have less frustration, anxiety, and stress. 

 

What are the Benefits of Patience?

 

Several benefits come with having more patience during our lives according to Medium.com. Some of these benefits include:

 

• You avoid health issues: Having patience can put us at a lower risk of heart conditions, anxiety, and depression. The reason for this is that we feel less stressed when we are more patient. 

• You make better decisions: You won’t rush into something because you are worried about it taking too long. You can slow down and make a smart decision. 

• It is easier to be happy: Patience allows us to feel happier. When we have less stress and anxiety, we can feel more tranquil and better overall. 

• You find life is easier: Your journey in life is easier if you can reduce the stress and just be patient in life. 

 

Everyone can work on their patience, bringing in more and helping them feel less stressed and happier. Finding the right tips to add to your life to have more patience is the key to making that happen. 

 

How to Become More Patient

 

Now it is time to look at some of the steps that you need to take to be more patient in your daily life. Some of the best steps to help with this include:

 

• Be mindful of your thoughts: While a situation can make you frustrated, you get to determine how you react to it. You can secure your thought before it becomes an action and turn it into something more peaceful too. 

• Figure out what makes you impatient: You need to learn more about your triggers and what makes you impatient overall. When you learn what these triggers are, you will be able to avoid them or find methods better deal with those things. 

• Show gratitude: When you show more gratitude in your daily life, you will be happier and won’t have impatience take over your life any longer. 

• Set short-term goals: Setting goals and celebrating your achievements will give you something amazing to look forward to and can help out. 

• Make yourself wait: When you make yourself wait and think through something, you will find that it is easier for you to learn patience too. This can be hard but is still very good for helping you slow down. 

 

Being patient is a skill that takes time. While it would be nice to wake up one day and have a ton of patience, this is not always possible. By following some of the tips above, you can add more patience to your life, along with more happiness. 

 

5 Ways To Be A Socially Responsible Person

According to the dictionary, being a socially responsible person means ‘working or operating in ways that aren’t harmful to society or the environment.’ In other words, when you acknowledge your responsibility for your choices and be accountable for your actions, you’re socially responsible.

 

You may not feel you’re not making a powerful impact like Bill Gates or Warren Buffet can by donating millions of dollars. However, you still have the power to contribute in your own way.

 

An excellent place to start would be to start reducing your footprint. Remember, our planet needs all of us to put in the effort. So, no matter how minor you may think your role is, you’re still making a world of difference!

 

To help get you started, scroll down for five ways you can be a socially responsible person.

 

1. Stay Informed

 

Always stay up to date on the events taking place around you, both locally and globally. This way, you gain a better perspective on what environmental issues need immediate fixing and what you can do about them.

 

Many times, we get sucked into the vortex of our hectic lives, and we lose sight of the big picture. By knowing all current and relevant information, you’ll start seeing the big picture. Thus, your actions will be geared towards things that can actually help benefit the environment.

 

2. Get Active

 

Everybody talks a good talk, but few ever do anything about it. So, why not be the change you want to see in this world and start participating in your community?

 

Getting out there and doing something is a great way to actively take part in helping out the environment. How about volunteering at various events to get better acquainted with your neighbours and community members?

 

Another idea is to attend community meetings and brainstorm ways to reduce pollutants. The more you participate, the more you’ll discover there are plenty of great ideas and opinions that can go into improving your community.

 

3. Show Empathy

 

Those suffering from a food or water shortage problem can be all the way across the globe. But that doesn’t mean you’re not affected by it, even on a small scale.

 

This is why showing empathy and being sensitive towards other people’s dilemmas are two of the best ways you can be socially responsible. It shows that you recognize other people’s pain and suffering. At the same time, it motivates you to build productive habits and reduce your use of some of the things that played a part in creating these problems in the first place.

 

4. Be a Responsible Consumer

 

Before you buy anything, find out where it’s made. Then, take a look at the company’s practice with regard to the environment, as well as their staff.

 

Another idea is to buy sustainably. This means buying products made of natural fibres that easily biodegrade and return to the ground as organic matter.

 

On the other hand, synthetic fibres may look fashionable. But they’re not biodegradable, which means they remain in the environment for hundreds of years, increasing pollution levels as well as greenhouse gases.

 

Also, try to buy locally as much as you can. It’ll go a long way in supporting businesses in your area while boosting the economy in your community. It also cuts back on shipping expenses. So, you save money while saving the environment from an excess of delivery trucks going back and forth.

 

5. Make Smart Decisions

 

Making smart decisions on a day-to-day basis means building good habits. For example, one way to reduce your water consumption is to turn the water off while brushing your teeth or shaving.

 

Reuse and recycle plastic products as much as possible to reduce the amount of waste. Also, take along a canvas shopping bag when buying groceries. You’ll reduce your plastic consumption and look super cool doing it!