5 Places to Find Friends as an Adult

When did everything get so hard? 

 

Somewhere along the way, we grew up. Life started getting bogged down with responsibilities and plans for the future. While much of this is exciting, what happens all too often as we start laying aside our childhood, is we unintentionally put aside our innate ability to make friends easily.

 

Don’t believe me? Think back to when a trip to the playground ended in a ‘new best friend’ after about 20 minutes of sharing the swings with a stranger. Now ask yourself, when is the last time you connected that quickly with someone new?

 

The problem is, adult friendships are crucial, not just to our mental well-being, but to our physical health as well. It’s been proven that having friends leads to less stress, less chance of heart disease, and longer life.

 

But where do we find these new friends? 

 

Try an App

 

Hey!VINA works much like a dating app, but with one very significant difference. Here the goal is to find someone with like interests you may want to befriend. A quick swipe of your finger starts a conversation, leading to a connection and eventually, friendship.

 

Try a Meetup

 

Looking for some fun group activities in your area? Meetup.com is easy to use on your computer, tablet, or phone. Here you search for events of interest to you. You’re then presented with a variety of groups who like to engage in those activities, giving yourself a chance to meet several interesting people at once.

 

Learn Something

 

Signing up for a class allows you to indulge in a new interest at the same time as meeting someone new. Always wanted to cook gourmet dinners? Been thinking about taking flying lessons? Whatever interests you, this is a surefire way to meet new people.

 

Grab a Book

 

Your local library or independent bookstore is a great place to indulge a love of reading while at the same time, getting to know someone new. Book clubs stimulate you intellectually and introduce you to people in the community who share a love for the written word.

 

Take a Walk with a Furry Friend

 

If you have a dog, why not explore more than your own backyard? By taking Fido to your local dog park, you’ll have an opportunity to meet other dog lovers, while at the same time, giving your faithful friend a chance for a little puppy socialization. This is a win all around!

 

Meeting people doesn’t have to be complicated. Opportunities truly are everywhere. So be bold and try something new. You’ll be glad you did!

 

5 Reasons Why Adult Friendships are so Important

Why is it we never put enough emphasis on the important things in life? Are we really that busy?

 

Sadly, we tell ourselves precisely that. In fact, studies have shown we’re not taking the time for friends like we used to. According to a survey taken in the 1980s, the average adult had a minimum of three friends they were close to. Thirty years later, the same study came out with some chilling news. As many as one in four people claim to have no friends at all.

 

Why is it we don’t enjoy adult friendships? Could it be we’ve somehow gotten the idea they’re really not necessary? This is absolutely not the case. In fact, below, you will find five reasons why adult friends are crucial to your life and your good health. 

 

Friends Give Necessary Support

 

We’re not meant to go it alone. We need friends to act as everything from cheerleaders to a shoulder to cry on. 

 

Friends Teach Us How to Act

 

How do we conduct ourselves? If you’re socially awkward, it might be because no one taught you specific social skills critical to success. Friends are where we learn those skills. It’s with friends that we practice, finding out both what’s acceptable and what’s not. What’s more, friends help us get out of the ruts we fall into and challenge us to try social situations we might not otherwise consider.

 

Friends Give Us a Reality Check

 

Who else but a friend is going to tell you when you’re lying to yourself or wandering down the wrong path entirely? This kind of tough love is what keeps us from disaster and guides us away from the pitfalls of life.

 

Couple Friendships Guide Our Own Relationships

 

Not everyone was blessed with parents who modeled good relationship skills. Having “couple friends” is where we form our impressions of how couples in romantic relationships interact. It’s from these relationships we learn how to balance things like work and romance and how to handle the parenting component. Being able to talk to other couples about challenges unique to this kind of relationship also gives a much-needed place to learn.

 

Friendships are Good for Your Health

 

Studies have shown people who sustain healthy friendships live longer and enjoy a better quality of life. People who regularly spend time with friends are shown to adopt healthier lifestyles, experience fewer physical ailments such as heart disease, and have fewer issues with dementia as they age.

 

In short, adult friendships are an important part of your life and worth exploring. Now is not the time to hold back. Get out there, meet people, and discover all that life has to offer. Making time for friendships should be a priority for all adults.

 

6 Tips for Making Friends as an Adult

Who are your friends?

 

A recent survey has determined you might not have a lot of close relationships in your life. In fact, the number of people who claim to have more than three solid friendships in their lives is only 37% or one-third of the population. Even more discouraging is the idea that fully 27% of adults say they have no close relationships at all.

 

Making friends as an adult is a daunting idea. For one thing, we’re swamped. We get caught up on our personal responsibilities and business goals that frequently we don’t make time for a social life outside of loose connections with our children’s friends’ parents and professional networking. Who has the time?

 

Thankfully, you do. It actually takes less time than you think to discover the joy of adult friendships. You can start with these simple tips:

 

Start with the Old

 

Why reinvent the wheel? Instead, ask yourself who your friends used to be. Is it possible you can rekindle some old friendships? In this era of social media, tracking down your best friend from high school is easier than ever. Why not shoot someone a quick message or text to open up the conversation all over again?

 

Become a Listener

 

When in groups of new people, rather than working hard to be the life of the party, why not take a step back? Making a point to actively listen to people makes you more attractive to those around you (everyone loves a listener) and puts you in the position of discovering the things which intrigue you most about the others. It’s a simple way to learn about shared interests, so you can strike up a friendship.

 

Take it to the Next Level

 

Have acquaintances but aren’t quite ready to call them friends yet? Try opening up a little. Being vulnerable forges intimacy with others and deepens the friendship, taking it to the next level. 

 

Stay in Touch

 

Worried about how to hang onto the friends you have? If you want to keep people from falling off the radar and becoming distant, make a point to check in with them once in a while. Send a text, make a call, set up a chance to get together. By checking in, you’re telling the other person they’re important to you and worth your time. A general rule of thumb? Connect about every two weeks.

 

Make a Group

 

Even better? Start putting your friends together in one place by creating a group of friends. There’s nothing more fun than hanging out in a gathering of people who enjoy each other’s company. Start simple, with a lunch date or drinks after work.

4 Positive Benefits to Trying New Things

What does it mean to try something new? For some, it may mean learning a new sport. For others, it could be trying a new food. Whatever it means to you, the principle is the same for everyone: Trying new things opens your world, eyes, and heart to new possibilities, and that’s a great thing. That’s the overarching benefit of trying new things, but here are four other specific benefits. 

 

1. Growth Comes from New 

 

When you step out of your comfort zone and into the wilderness of the unknown, a crazy thing happens. You learn and grow as an individual. It may not always be easy or comfortable, but it certainly will expand your mind and make you aware of the possibilities life has to offer – whether that be something thematic like your personality or something smaller like picking up a pair of rollerblades. 

 

2. Courage Boost

 

Courage is defined as the ability to do something that frightens you. Chances are, you may be a little frightened by the idea of trying something new – and that’s perfectly okay! It will boost your courage and gear you up with the confidence you need to tackle new things in the future. 

 

3. Rid Your Life of Boredom 

 

Most people don’t like to be bored. You may enjoy quiet time or relaxation breaks but being bored is a totally different story. The good news is it’s pretty hard to be bored when you’re always mixing up your life with new adventures and happenings. The next time you feel a twinge of tedium tugging at you, try something new. You’ll be surprised at how quickly you’ll get rid of the dull feeling! 

 

4. Not Only Try but Enjoy 

 

Trying something new doesn’t mean a quick experiment and washing your hands of the adventure right afterward. Trying something new is a whole adventure, and it should be enjoyed. Some things are hit or miss. You may not love everything you try, but you’ll undoubtedly find some activities, people, or interests that you never knew you could enjoy. 

 

The next time someone invites you to do something a little different, you may want to consider saying yes. After all, the worst-case scenario is that you learn you don’t like it – and that’s not so bad, is it? Go for the gold! Try it out and see what you can learn about yourself. 

 

7 New Things to Try That Will Add Excitement to Your Life

Every year on January 1, millions of people around the globe are using a special word that is big in meaning, small in size, and severely underappreciated. That word is new. We say “Happy New Year,” and we declare our “new” goals for the year, but somewhere along the lines, “new” gets lost in translation. When you’re ready to embark on a quest to find the new, here are some things to try. 

1. Blogging

 

Writing may not be your X factor, but everyone has a story to tell. In your spare time, try out a blog to document what’s going on in your life. You can make it specific to your interests or your career, or you could keep it wide open for whatever thoughts dance through your mind. 

 

2. Cooking 

 

Cooking gets a bad rap for being time-consuming, messy, and demanding. We may not all be a whiz in the kitchen, but every once and a while, it’s fun to create a big meal for yourself (or your friends and family). 

 

3. Dance Lessons 

 

It’s always a good idea to get your body moving when you can, and it’s an even better idea to move your body to music! When you’re itching to do something new, try out a new form of dance. It’s creative and active at the same time – win-win! 

 

4. Gardening 

 

The best part about having your own garden is eating the food. Pair that with your cooking endeavor, and you’re set! The only caveat with gardening is that you have to have enough space for one. But if you do, it’s well worth it to start growing your own fruits, veggies, and herbs. 

 

5. Hiking 

 

Depending on where you live, mountains may be fully accessible to you. If that’s the case, you should take advantage of it by going on hikes regularly. It gets your blood pumping and gives you all kinds of beautiful sights to see. 

 

6. Learn a New Language 

 

Spare time should never become wasted time. You know that language you were always dying to learn? Seize this extra time as the perfect opportunity to start practicing. You’ll be a linguist before you know it! 

 

7. Meditation 

 

At first glance, meditation may seem like the opposite of exciting. It’s calm, soothing, and super quiet. But that doesn’t mean it can’t be exciting, too! Meditation is an art and a historically backed practice. Try it out for five minutes a day and see how you like it. 

 

9 Positive Reasons to Try Something New

What comes to mind when someone tells you to try something new? Are you eager to jump in and try it out, or are you afraid of possible adverse outcomes? See, most people get scared away by the thought of trying something they’ve never tried before. And that’s okay. The next time you get the nerves about experimenting with something new, come back to your “why,” and remind yourself of these positive outcomes. 

 

1. You’ll Learn What You’re Really Capable of

 

How do you know if you don’t try? Once you start mixing it up and trying new things, you’ll unveil new things about yourself that you never knew before. You may have a hidden talent or a secret interest that can be made into something big. 

 

2. Humility is an Added Bonus

 

So you try something, and you fall on your face – the bright side is that you earn a sense of humility. 

 

3. Capitalize on the Accomplishments 

 

Putting yourself out there makes it that much better when you hit the jackpot. Sure, it takes a lot of trial and error, but it’s worth it to be able to celebrate your big wins. 

 

4. One Down, Many to Go 

 

Once you conquer one new thing, it feels like you can take on the world. You may start with something small like learning how to paint, and the next thing you know, you’ll be trying to learn a new instrument and master a new language. 

 

5. You’ll Stop Feeling Like You’re Alone

 

Because you’re not. Trying something new teaches you that it’s been done before many times. You’re not alone in this adventure – and you can reach out to others for support and help on your endeavor. 

 

6. Excuses will Subside 

 

An excuse is an easy way out. It’s a coping mechanism, and it’s a sign of weakness. In the past, you may have said something like, “No, I’ll do that next year,” in regards to something new. But as you begin to try more new things, you’ll feel less inclined to dole out the excuses. 

 

7. You’ll Have More Control 

 

It’s a dichotomy because, in some respects, you lose control. Trying something new puts you in a vulnerable place—you’re not always sure what will happen and you’re not 100% in control of the situation. But at the same time, losing control teaches you how to have control over the things you CAN control. 

 

8. Learning Opportunities 

 

Trying something new = learning something new. There’s a world of opportunities out there waiting to be discovered! 

 

9. You’ll be a Role Model 

 

People are vetted off their abilities to handle life and create exciting experiences for themselves. If you’re hoping to be a role model for someone, put yourself out there and show them how it’s done! 

6 Strategies to Challenge Your Inner Critic’s Voice

It’s time you cultivated an attitude. 

 

Look, life can be hard sometimes. The last thing you need is your Inner Critic taking the wheel, getting on your case about every last little thing you’re trying to do. Why are you listening to someone who doesn’t have your best interest at heart? No, it’s time to challenge your Inner Critic and silence their voice once and for all. 

 

How? Try these tried and true strategies:

 

Start Noticing

 

Inner Critics like to whisper, never to speak out loud. The last thing they want is to be noticed in their nefarious schemes. By paying attention to what’s going on in your head, you draw their lies out into the light where they cannot stand. 

 

Give it a Nickname

 

Whenever the Inner Critic speaks up, give it a silly name. Think to yourself things like “Hey, it’s Moldyvort, back again to cause trouble.” By making fun of this voice, it’s a whole lot harder to take seriously.

 

What about a Voice?

 

Do you hear some pretty negative things? Try saying them out loud. By giving voice to these thoughts, you’ll hear just how ridiculous they sound. 

 

Take a Negativity Break

 

Tell your Inner Critic they can only come out to play at a particular time each day. During that time, take a break and tell the Inner Critic to do their worst. Be sure to set a timer for the space allotted, so you don’t give more time to the negativity than necessary. Sit back and let it speak its piece. The funny thing? Most of the time, you won’t even remember what it was the Critic had to say by the time your negativity break rolls around. Even if you do, when the timer goes off, remind yourself you’re done and walk away. 

 

Question Everything

 

Is there any truth to what your Inner Critic is saying? Examine the statements. Feel free to argue back. Point out the flaws in the reasoning and back it up with examples of times when you’ve proven those things aren’t true.

 

Replace the Words

 

Finally, drop the negative words entirely and rewrite the script to turn each negative into a positive. For example, saying, “I’m terrible at writing reports” can become “I did a great job on the last report I wrote. I bet this one will be fine too.”

 

Remember, silencing an Inner Critic is going to take time and energy. This kind of voice doesn’t just shut up because you told them to go away once. No, you’re going to have to do the work, using these strategies until you’re finally free of the nasty little voice.

 

Once you’ve got it, though? Your world will change enormously in some pretty great ways. After all, without your critic to hold you back, you’re primed for success in a huge way.

Live Your Truth, Grow Your Self-Worth

Living a happy life is everyone’s goal. Who doesn’t want to feel good about themselves? And yet so many of us live a life of self-doubt, feeling undeserving or incapable, or wishing we were walking another path.

 

However, living a happy life, being a happy person, is a matter of how you perceive yourself and your place in the world. You can “think yourself happy” by taking action, being honest about yourself, your patterns of thinking, and being open to your capacity to change. Self-knowledge is the key to living a happy life. And that means living your truth, not other people’s truth, or what society tells you is your truth. 

 

Socrates famously said that the unexamined life is not worth living. An ongoing process of self-analysis and self-examination leading to greater understanding and self-knowledge is also the basis for most of the world’s religions and belief systems for a good reason. If you don’t know who you are, you're not your true self in the world. If this is the case, you’re living a passive life, reacting to whatever comes along instead of taking control. Living unconsciously like this is living half asleep, and if you’re half asleep, you can’t be your best you.

 

Living an authentic life does not mean going off the grid. It does mean a daily practice of being honest about how you’re feeling and why, and reminding yourself that you are in control of how you feel. It means being clear about what your values and beliefs are – what “rules” you live your life by. Are your values yours, or have you absorbed them from other people in your life? Do they still fit with the life you want to lead? 

 

Five steps to living a more authentic life:

 

1.    Be clear about how you want your life to be right now and where you want to go. Understand and live by your values and beliefs. 

 

2.    Be aware of yourself and how you react and interact with other people, situations, events, the world.

 

3.    Set and maintain conscious boundaries. Be clear in your mind and be at peace with what you can and can’t control.

 

4.    Be okay with imperfection in yourself and others. Be objective about your weaknesses so that you can improve upon them without letting them get you down.

 

5.    Be kind and forgiving to yourself and others.

 

Living your truth means taking responsibility for your life and building a deep self-knowledge that will ultimately lead to contentment and happiness. 

 

5 Tips for Keeping Your Self-Talk Positive on a Daily Basis

There are certain things we do (or should do) every day without thinking. We need to be brushing our teeth and drinking enough water. We ought to be eating healthy and remembering to exercise. If we’re really on task, we might also be doing something to expand our minds or work toward a specific goal.

 

Now consider this: of everything, what would you say the single most important thing you do is?

 

Chances have you answered something to do with sleeping properly or taking care of your physical health. Believe it or not, there’s something even more critical, and it has to do with your self-talk.

 

Maintaining a positive inner dialogue, also known as positive self-talk is the one thing which is going to motivate everything else you do. It’s when you’re positive that you put in the effort to take care of yourself. When you encourage yourself, those tremendous big goals (not to mention all the small ones) become possible. Think of positive self-talk as the gas, which makes the car move.

 

With so much riding on what you’re saying to yourself, how do you keep positive daily? Try following these five tips:

 

Know Your Triggers

 

Certain people, places, and situations are going to raise up an instant series of negative self-talk messages. Knowing what those are in advance helps you to defuse the situation before it gets out of hand. Ask yourself what you can do to avoid those triggers? What statements can you use to combat the messages which always come up when you’re triggered?

 

Do an Inventory

 

Periodically check your inner dialogue. Is it getting negative? Pay attention to the signs telling you things are going downhill. Being mindful helps you to insert positive dialogue cues as needed to keep things on an even keel.

 

Laugh

 

It’s impossible to stay negative when laughing. Looking for the humor in situations helps you to stay positive.

 

Hang with the Right Crowd

 

It’s easy to have your mood affected by those around you. By sticking around positive people, you’ll find upbeat energy tends to rub off. 

 

Find Inspiration

 

Creating positive affirmations and daily repeating them starts the process of integrating specific thoughts into your dialogue. Keep these affirmations where you can see them. Leave notes to yourself inviting you to read those words again and again until they become part of who you are.

 

Engaging in daily positive self-talk is the one habit you want to spend time creating. There is no substitute for this kind of dialogue, which means you’re going to need to put in the effort until these actions become automatic. When you reach that point, you’re going to see some real positive change.