Key Things in a Relationship

Nobody likes to single and you will bear me witness that people who does not want to be in a relationship is the ones who were hurt. This however does not mean that you should not give it a try. There are people who have also tried to be in a relationship many times but most of the time they end up alone. This is probably because they did not take the key things in their relationships. Relationships are supposed to be taken and carried tenderly and taken slowly. There are times when a relationship seems to be very hard and this is the part where you tend to move out of it. There are however other relationships which are very dangerous. Some of them have got a lot of fighting, arguments and even cheating on one another. These kinds of relationships usually end very badly and you find that the two parties become big enemies. 

 

There are however three things which make relationships successful. One of the things that you should ensure that your relationship does not lack, is trust. There is nothing as important as trust in everything that you do. If a person does not trust you there is no way that he or she is going to love you. Every relationship is based on trust. A husband-and-wife relationship is always based on trust, a mother children relationship has also got to have trust. You can gain a person’s trust by being honest to him or her. Most of the relationships break up because of cheating on the other partner. 

 

The other very important thing in a relationship is respect. It is very important to respect one another. Do not look down on your partner because this will make them to feel unappreciated. If you respect your partner then you will also be able to respect yourself. If you do not have respect there is no way that you will have a successful relationship with anybody. There are many things that one can avoid when they have respect for their relationship. Respect is an aspect that comes from deep within one self. 

 

In a relationship, there should be good communication. There must be understanding. When you lack communication skills then there is no understanding. When you shout at one another, then that means that no one is listening to the other because there is no communication there. When you have these three simple things in your relationship then you can be assured that you will have a long and happy relationship. 

Making Your Relationship Successful

There are good sides in a relationship and also bad sides. This also applies to marriage life and also single life. If you want your relationship to be successful then you really have to work hard on it. However, you do not have to work not only hard but also smart. The key thing here is working smart. You should be able to take the bad traits and mix them with the good ones and then negotiate on various points. We all know that there is no person who was born perfect and so nobody is perfect. When you have this at the back of your mind then you have plenty of realistic expectations concerning your relationship. You should also note that there is nothing as perfect relationship or perfect marriage neither is their perfect life in general. 

 

There are so many people who will look at another person’s relationship and think that it is perfect or it is flowing smoothly. The truth is that in every relationship you must find a problem. There are always ups and downs and you will have good and bad days as well. For you to have an almost perfect relationship, both of you in the relationship should be able to work on making your relationship successful. One of the most important things in a relationship is communication. This will bring about understanding in one another’s views, thoughts and also one another’s traits. This could sound so obvious but it is true. 

 

For you to be able to have an effective communication, you must spend some time together. This is tricky also because most of the time you find that you are both busy. Many are the times that when you arrive at your house the last thing in your mind is a heart-to-heart conversation with your partner. However, communication can be simple and not too serious. It could simply do with having a meal together or doing something together. The other thing is solving problems and not leaving them hanging between you. You do not need to pretend that nothing happened between you two.

 

Whatever the situation you should talk about it and not ignore it because it will only get worse and worse. This is because one way or the other it will spring up again and this time it will be a bigger problem than it was at first. And so you should solve problems right there before they become a big risk in your relationship. You should avoid trying to read your partner’s mind. Respect is also another important thing in a successful relationship. 

What Kinds of Relationships Will You Encounter Every Day?

There are so many types of relationships. No matter the type of relationship you should ensure that you work hard on it do that it turns out to be successful. Relationships can be enjoyable whereas others can be stressing. Before you get into a relationship you must first ensure that you know the type of as person that you are getting into a relationship with. A true relationship is based on trust. No matter the kind of relationship to be successful there must be the presence of trusting one another. You cannot build a relationship with a stranger. Trust has to be there because you do not want to start your relationship on somebody who will teach you, steal from you and do all kind of evil behind you including back biting.

 

Many people run out of relationships because they are not happy. Some of the relationships break because there is no understanding between the two parties. You have to understand one another so that you can have a smooth communication. That is why you are advised that before you get into a relationship you should first start by befriending your partner. This will help you to understand one another and know their likes and their dislikes. In any relationship you should also watch one another’s attitude. Attitude is very important in every area of our lives. 

 

There are also steps which one is supposed to follow when they are getting into a relationship. These steps are very important because they help us to go slow in relationships. If you rush in a relationship, you are probably going to miss a step in your relationship and this will lead to very serious problems. You should take relationships slowly especially if you are in love and not infatuation. In a relationship you should be in a position of accepting your partner the way they are. There are times in your relationship where you will experience ups and downs. There are those times where the bad days will outweigh the good day and vice versa. This should not put you down because this is what makes your relationship to grow. 

 

For your relationship to work you should also try new things in your life. Doing the same things all the time makes a relationship boring. Every day is a new day and so you should engage yourselves in new activities daily. Relationships can last for a long time, and also they can also last for a very short time and this will depend on the parties involved.

Doing a Self-Assessment for Self-Discovery

To a very large extent, many of us tend to see what is wrong with others without taking in to account or having a close look on ourselves. Taking a self-assessment is vital in making us become the best or have a realization of the best in us. You need somebody is very honest to help you in self-assessment. There are a number of self-assessment tests that you can undertake for self-discovery.

 

Self-assessment entails looking deep into you for an insight thus self-discovery. Here you do not become self-centered but have some time to look at yourself get to learn about the person you see every time you look at the mirror. 

 

The first step to a tangible self-assessment is to be very honest about you. Take a hard look at the mirror and take time to study the person you are seeing. Describe the person that you see in the mirror using up to a total of 25 adjectives. Consider using both good and adjectives that are bad. This is important owing to the fact that you are undertaking a truthful exercise. Consider digging deep down. Uphold utmost honesty. Allow for rediscovery of yourself.

 

After looking at yourself in the mirror, and discovering the person reflected in the mirror. Consider your likes and dislikes. This is vital to allow you identify any potential issues that may help you know the root cause of your likes and dislikes. It will help in prevention of repeating a bad behavior. Keep in mind the fact that failure to focus on your past, you be forced to repeat the same past. Look for the ways you can use to cope with the elements that may be stressing you.

 

Consider the activities that you like doing. Which books do you enjoy reading? What in most cases makes you not tolerate with life? What saddens? For all the answers that you give, provide an explanation. Explore the explanations to depth. 

 

The next exercise is to begin doing a journal. For a whole week, write down all your emotions, actions and thoughts that you might have heard throughout the week. Write down what you do comfortable without much effort but is also very rewarding. A journal is different from a diary in that in it you write personal thoughts and reflections you might have heard. 

Encourage or Fix—What Is Your Style?

Each of us has an approach that we use when people come to us for help with their problems. Some of us like to encourage the person to find the answer within themselves and we stand with them as they put their plans into action and reap the benefits and consequences of choices. Others of us prefer to fix the problem for the person, exploring ideas for plans and actions that will potentially solve problems.

 

Neither style is more beneficial than the other and most people would agree that both styles are necessary qualities. However, as each style affects the way we treat our families, friends and work colleagues, its’ worth knowing which style more clearly emulate in our interpersonal relationships. How do you know if your style is to fix or encourage? Here are some useful things to consider about each style of helping others. 

 

You Like to Help Others by Offering Solutions to Their Problems When They Approach You with Their Problems.

 

Men in general like to fix problems more than listen to others talk about them. Problems need to be fixed and a man using his left sided logic, likes to help develop a plan of action to solve a problem and to seek its resolution by providing solutions.

 

Men and women instinctively want to fix a problem when faced with one, be it their own or someone else’s problem. Many people need and want this help in their lives. Whilst it may not be considered empowering the other person, sometimes life needs create a need in us to find this style of helping. 

 

You Encourage Others to Talk about Their Problems and Help Them to Find Their Own Solutions.

 

If you are the sort of person who likes to encourage your friends and family to talk about their problems and help them create their own solutions you are more likely an encourager than a fixer. Women instinctively do this amongst themselves when they “share” their problems with their friends. Men often do this with each other when they play golf or drink together, or join mentoring groups facilitate talking and sharing. 

 

Most of us use both styles of helping others interchangeably in our lives depending on who we are talking to and what their needs are. Learning to be selective on who we use which style with is a journey of self-reflection and of personal discovery. 

Have You Ever Encountered Yourself?

Actor James Baldwin once said, “I have encountered a lot of people in Europe, I have even encountered myself” It begs the question, have you encountered yourself? To encounter means to meet by surprise or unexpectedly, amongst other meanings. When was the last time you experienced that type of surprise meeting with yourself? 

 

Have you been in a situation where you found out you liked something you didn’t think you would enjoy? Maybe tried a new food, or a new sport. Maybe started a new hobby? When this happens without you orchestrating the situation you are encountering yourself. Many people stay in their comfort zones, and rarely find themselves in a situation where they are challenged by encountering themselves in an unexpected or surprising ways. 

 

As a personal challenge take time to do something different today. Take a walk on the beach or through the forest and use your senses to experience the sights, smells and tastes around you. Walk slowly and keep a journal close. Allow your self-time to experience things you may usually walk past and write down the things that you become aware of. Write about the way they impact you and if they bring back childhood memories or other significant thoughts, write them down as well.

 

If you are taking a journey of self-discovery, encountering yourself is the first step to learning about the person you are. Another meaning of encounter relates to conflict and confrontation. Much of the time we prefer not to confront ourselves and we certainly don’t want to know inner conflict, but for self-discovery to be successful, we must be willing to consider even the inner conflicts we have constantly raging inside us, some more low key than the others. We must be willing to confront the unjustifiable fears and assumptions we make often with no reason. 

 

Our lives can sometimes be like that of a small child who looks at what the food on his plate looks like and decides what he feels about it simply by looking. If it looks good, he will try to eat it, if it looks bad he will tell you he doesn’t like it. We try to encourage children to try food before they say they do not like it. This is the key to self-discovery and personal encounters. Giving ourselves permission to unexpectedly find ourselves and challenge our preconceived ideas.

Knowing Your Real Self

Knowing your real self can be a daunting task. It demands understanding your personal aspirations your emotions and even the spiritual values. It also entails knowing how best to fulfill the requirements you want in life. Self-discovery leads to having a long-lasting peace of mind, happiness and you will tend to be contented. To a very large extent, we are able to acquire knowledge, develop talent and skills in areas that we are comfortable in handling.

 

The first step towards knowing yourself is to look the needs of your soul. It is important to note that we are not just a body but rather we have an inner self that comprises of the soul that also yearns for satisfaction. Research has it that the soul is immortal.

 

You should always aspire to remain connected with yourself and draw attention or move away from distractions that may come from outside. In most cases our attentions are drawn to meeting outward desires and most cases this do not add up. In most cases satisfaction of one of these external desire leads to another one cropping up. In most instances we are busy with the desire to meet needs of the body and this is what makes as loose the self. Taking time to meditate will help you realize and know yourself better. It is a practice that can help us discover ourselves better.

 

Real self to a large extent remains to be in love with other fellows despite having differences that are external. It gives us glimpses to our inner self. When we cling to what we absolutely love with other individuals. This to a very large helps in discovering of the inner self. Negative emotions to a large extent led to reduction of discovering our inner self.

 

Another thing that will help you discover your real self is through having commitment towards life. It gives a very good opportunity to have a wide picture of life. When we are committed in life, we tend to focus on intangible values like love honesty and sacrifice. We get contented when we love others; make other people be happy, share the worries of others. These activities to a large extent make you know your inner needs.

 

Having a deep insight into you is vital to having a meaningful and reasonable life. It helps add or make a better you.

When You Know What Makes You Happy You Discover True Gold

Do you know what makes you happy? If you do then you have discovered true gold. We are not talking of the momentary flashes of happiness that come when we eat a favorite desert or drive a beautiful car. These will provide temporary happiness but once the dessert is eaten or the car is returned to its owner, the potential is there for the problems that robbed you of your happiness to return. The happiness being discussed here is the happiness that you can take refuge in, that keeps you at peace with yourself and your world, no matter what is going on around you. 

 

Some people find a sense of happiness in their relationship to God. For some, happiness is found in pursuing a new hobby or learning a new sport. Many find roles in life define their happiness. However, are these things really the source of true happiness? They certainly contribute to it, and probably most people use these as their source of true happiness.

 

Self-acceptance is the key to the true gold that helps us to deal with the everyday trials of life. We may express that self-acceptance in our relationship with God, with others or with things in our lives, but unless we accept ourselves first, nothing will truly satisfy us or make us happy for very long. True inner happiness has its roots in who we are and not on what we do to stay happy.

 

Psychologists have long promoted the idea that the greatest love affair we can have is the one we have with ourselves. This love is not self-seeking, self-promoting, or self-focused. It is a love that accepts that we are unique individuals and the problems we face and the struggles we go through have nothing to do with the person on the inside, the person we live with when we are along with our thoughts and ourselves.

 

Even if we hit are hard by whatever rocks our experiences in life may throw at us, they can’t harm the inner person. We can experience that level of true happiness when we learn to love ourselves and see ourselves as the true gold we are. We can find refuge in self-acceptance, knowing that we are not defined by our experiences, but rather we can define our experiences by our reactions to them. 

Discipline Is Important to Attain Spirituality

Discipline is the basis of the whole universe. The Earth, the Sun, the Moon and other planets, all are governed by a set of laws to maintain perfect harmony and beauty. There will be utter chaos without this order. Similarly, discipline is one basic requirement to lead a spiritual and civilized life. Every man has to set certain norms to maintain peace and order within his or her mind. 

 

The strength of a man lies in discipline. It helps him or her to make progress. A man who is of a disciplined nature work in spirit of cooperation with other people. However, discipline does not mean negation of personal liberty. It means a self-imposed discipline. 

 

The importance of discipline in educational institutions is well recognized. A school is such a place that helps children attain spiritualism through the sense of discipline. Some children have the ability to follow this and learn more out this, while others who cannot follow this goes to the category of individuals who cannot hear what their inner soul says. In other words, discipline makes you lead a more organized life, and only when you lead an organized life, you have no confusions in life. A confused person cannot hear what his spirit wants to say, even if he wants to learn the process of hearing it. 

 

Therefore, though discipline may not have direct relation with the attainment of spiritualism, but its indirect relation makes it very important in a person’s life. You will see that if you have disciplines in every sphere of life, you can get success in all the spheres of life. School, political, domestic, professional personal or be it any sphere of life, discipline is the most important thing to attain the level of spiritualism.

 

Discipline though difficult is essential for personal growth as a human being. It helps you to be spiritually inclined, taking you to far-off places. Absence of it can lead to failure, defeat and backwardness. Today in society, it is very important to live in harmony with fellow human beings in a spirit of cooperation and mutual co-existence. If you do attain the level of spiritualism through a sense of discipline, then you cannot exist among others. All this is possible only if every individual follows a personal code of ethics and the one laid by the law for the prosperity of the nation and the progress of the society.