How to Come Together With Your Friends and Family to Reduce Stress and Improve Your Success

Some of the most miserable people in the world are the loneliest. Everyone can agree that human beings are socially driven people. It can be extremely difficult to feel good without a strong support system and the knowledge that people out there are going to care about your well-being and offer you assistance if you should ever need it.

 

We can all probably remember a time when we were struggling and it was only through the support or friendship of someone else that we were able to find our way out of that difficult situation. Our instincts are usually to help each other out of binds and try to build things together. Most of us would like to coexist peacefully with one another, despite our differences. However, there are also some people out there who would rather leave us high and dry than accept the ways we may differ from them. These are generally not the best people to include in your support system, as they can exhibit toxic behaviors that can cause us to question ourselves and second guess our worth as a means of manipulation.

 

Rather, consider the people in your life who are always willing to give you a fair chance. People who are supportive and confident in your abilities. People who won’t put you down for their own satisfaction or because you don’t always line up with their ideals.

It can be defeating to get your support from someone who may or may not withdraw it at any time. The ups and downs of toxic relationships have a huge impact on our lives. We do have the power to avoid them, however. And in recognizing a toxic relationship before it gets too far, we are providing ourselves with the security of knowing that we should never base our sense of self-worth based on anything that someone else says. Especially a toxic person. 

 

However, that isn’t to say that there is no benefit in having a good support network. Knowing that you have truly trustworthy people in your life is so important. If you are able to have friends and family members who truly want to see you succeed, being able to surround yourself with them is a powerful and uplifting experience. Telling them about your ups and downs will always help, and you will get several new perspectives on difficult situations that may open your eyes to new opportunities you may have otherwise missed.

 

Never overlook the power of the people who care about you most! Sometimes a listening ear is all you need to turn a bad and stressful day into the beginning of a new perspective that could change your life forever! 

 

The Power of Taking a Break

Sometimes life can get overwhelming and we find ourselves overcome by the stresses of knowing all that we have left to do. When we are motivated to make great changes but we find that there is a lot of work to be done, it can cause us to sometimes stall out and freeze. The stress we feel from our lofty goals can be a huge obstacle and actually cause us to stop making progress. 

 

It is almost as if our brains are focusing too much of our processing power in one place and they begin to get burnt out. Especially if we are not breaking our goals down into smaller pieces that are actually more manageable seeming and realistic to accomplish. When we are overloading ourselves with the countless tasks that we need in order to achieve the specific goals we have in mind, then it can actually be counterproductive.

 

Instead of letting your brain burn itself out, there is power in being able to take a break. Don’t get this confused with giving yourself the excuse to shut down and stop accomplishing anything at all. Rather, acknowledge to yourself that you need to take a time out for some self-care and allow yourself the opportunity to relax and recharge for your next project. 

 

Most of us don’t realize just how many different types of stimuli we are attempting to process at any given time. Because of this, it can be easy to fall into bouts of stress that we may not even notice we are dealing with. that is why, if you are beginning to feel a little bit frazzled, you will benefit greatly from taking a little bit of time for yourself. 

 

We are always working on something. Some people even theorize that when we are dreaming, it is the brain’s attempts at problem solving and processing the information we are dealing with during our waking lives. It’s important to allow ourselves chances to relax throughout the day and try not to guilt trip ourselves for needing some down time. Sure, you could be using every single waking second of your day to work toward accomplishing your goals, but ultimately that can cause us to slow down our productivity and reach burn out that much faster. 

 

If you want to maintain a high level of quality to your work, you would benefit from allowing yourself to clear your mind from time to time and enjoy yourself. We all need a chance to refresh our morale and unwind a little bit if we are going to perform at the best of our abilities. Instead of feeling like you are not getting anything done, try to remember that to do things at your highest level, you will benefit greatly from learning how to pace yourself and take the time you need to stop and smell the roses!

 

Avoiding Too Much of a Good Thing

One issue some of us may face is overworking our bodies. While it is true that staying active and getting regular exercise is incredibly important, there is also a dark side to getting too much activity. Sometimes becoming addicted to exercise, movement, and activity can actually put extra stress on your body and mind. This can be especially true if you find a sense of validation from trying to work toward a specific body image.

 

Stress from attempting to accomplish these types of goals can cause a lot of stressors, not only in our minds but physically as well once that drive goes into action. Most people fail to realize that there is such a thing as overdoing it with their physical exertion. If you aren’t visibly injuring yourself, then it may seem like there is no problem at all in exercising your heart out.

 

Unfortunately, the things that we are experiencing in our bodies are often invisible. We do not get signs and symptoms of serious issues until it is too late, and constantly exercising releases stress hormones into the brain. It is important to make sure that you are not overloading your body with this type of stress, as it can ultimately be problematic for your heart and sometimes even your mood. Make sure that you are giving yourself a reasonable amount of rest so that your muscles can repair themselves and you are able to do things in a healthy way. 

 

It is always important not to put yourself to extremes in any situation. While there can always be room for improvement, there is also a lot to be said for enjoying things in moderation. You can still maintain a healthy lifestyle. Just do your best not to obsess about it and if possible, keep in mind the fact that your physical fitness is not a total reflection of your worth. It is okay to take things easy once in a while and still find value in yourself. 

 

While it is always important to stay active, everything that we do takes a toll on us. Constantly putting yourself through stressors that can easily be avoided is dangerous. Consider all of the stories you may have heard about people who are shocked by a loved one who is in peak physical condition having heart attacks or other health issues that we are often thought exercise is meant to avoid. It is possible those people are guilty of overdoing it with their exercise regimen.

 

The purpose of this article isn’t to discourage you from exercise. Being active is a vital part of living a healthy life. However, make sure that you are being active in a safe way, because too much of a good thing can easily turn into a bad one, no matter what it is!

 

Avoiding Processed Foods as a Stress Reduction Technique

Many people may not realize that when we eat, our levels of cortisol will rise. This is an occurrence that is relatively important; it helps our bodies to sort out the good things from the bad so that we know what we can use and which nutrients to absorb. Unfortunately, this is something that can actually be very bad for us when we are not consuming a proper amount of healthy foods.

 

When we eat processed foods, the levels of stress in our bodies will rise. It is dangerous because our cortisol levels will rise exponentially through the consumption of unhealthy and processed foods. It is important to try and remain conscious of the effects of each of the choices that we make. By consuming foods that will cause our stress levels to rise, whether we are aware of it or not, we are subjecting ourselves to major health issues, not only physically, but potentially emotionally. 

 

Have you ever been in a bad mood without really fully understanding why that is? Did you ever notice that you are feeling poorly and then examine the food choices you have made and realize that it is possibly related to your food choices?

 

Another thing to look out for are food sensitivities. If you have any sensitivities to foods, or food allergies, these things can cause your body to release stress hormones as your immune system is activated in an attempt to fight off the problem. This can leave you feeling moody and irritable, and cause inflammation in your body that you may not be aware of because it is not always physically apparent.

 

When our bodies are under duress, our moods tend to take a hit. Our bodies are very sensitive and more often than not, irritability and mood swings are often indicative of serious physical problems. If you look at the symptoms for many diseases, irritability and mood swings are often early warning signs. Our bodies know when something is off, and when our brains are producing an overabundance of stress hormones, it is a sign that we should be paying attention.

 

Do your best to grocery shop in a smart way. Make meal plans that include fresh and healthy food options. Rather than going through every aisle in the grocery store right away, consider simply going around the outside and purchasing a majority of fresh foods before heading into the processed food aisles. It is much easier to make healthy choices if you are prepared ahead of time!

 

While processed foods may seem like a convenient choice, consider the future. It may cost you much more than that to try to reverse the damage that these types of foods can cause the body, while prevention is as easy as making better choices. When they say that one ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure, they aren’t joking! Avoid stressing your body out with processed foods and enjoy a healthier lifestyle today!

 

How Passion at Work Helps You Get Ahead

A recent study has discovered 88% of people are unhappy in their job. The other 12% experience joy and passion for what they do.

 

Are you in this 12%?

 

If not, you’re not alone. Sadly, a lack of passion does more than make the day drag. When you’re not enthusiastic about what you do, you’re simply not going to be as productive or even as successful at what you do compared to the individual who gets excited about their job. 

 

Don’t believe it? Consider these ideas on how passion at work will help you get ahead.

 

Passionate People Focus

You can’t help but be intrigued by the things you’re passionate about. You can’t wait to dive in and see what makes things tick. This kind of focus enables you to see all the moving parts easily. It also keeps you more on task, and less likely to allow interruption as you hate to be pulled away from what you love. 

 

Passionate People Experience Less Stress

 

When you’re passionate, you’re just more relaxed overall. Why would you be stressing about doing something you love? Instead, you’re more likely to feel the satisfaction of doing what you love as you get stuff done. 

 

Passionate People are Creative

 

When you love what you do, you can’t wait to learn more about it. This interest in your work makes you more knowledgeable and more likely to notice things. This leads to more creativity in the course of your day.

 

Passionate People Get More Done

 

Passion is what wakes up a competitive spirit. You can’t wait to get things done just to see what comes next. All these things mean you’re putting out more work, and are much more likely to finish tasks over someone who isn’t passionate.

 

Passionate People Do Better

 

When you’re passionate, you’re going to be more interested in the details and will push more to ‘get it right’ just because you can. Being passionate means that you’re doing a better quality of work, which is, in turn, noticed by those around you. Hey, think about it. When promotion time comes, who would you rather move up, someone who hates their job and drags through the day or someone enthusiastic, quick to action, and gets the work done?

 

Passionate People Have Fun

 

Work doesn’t have to be drudgery. When you’re passionate, you’re interested in what you do. This interest makes the day just go faster. 

 

Passionate People Hate to Go Home at the End of the Day

 

This one should sort of speak for itself. When you find yourself wanting to stay and keep going with what you’re doing, you’re definitely in the right place doing the right thing. 

 

3 Irrational Reasons Why We Don’t Negotiate

Why is it so hard to ask for what we want?

 

We see other people do it all the time. Someone else gets a better deal on a car or really nails that raise. Life looks good for everyone else, while we’re the ones who seem to be going nowhere fast.

 

Why is this? Is everyone else just better at negotiating?

 

The reality is, if you’re not getting what you want, you’re probably not asking. In fact, about 2/3 of the population will not negotiate in a given situation, though it’s not for the reason you think. It isn’t opportunity holding you back, it’s fear. But can we truly be blamed? Fear can be a powerful motivator.

 

Let’s look at some of the irrational reasons why we don’t negotiate.

 

“I might be rejected.”

 

No one likes to hear “no.” In fact, it’s such a strong dislike, people will go way out of their way to avoid this kind of response. It’s why people break out in a cold sweat when they think about proposing to their special someone or would rather do just about anything to avoid asking for a favor. In the world of negotiation, this can be especially daunting because a ‘no’ here means you don’t get what you’re angling for. How do you get past this? Tell yourself it’s okay to hear ‘no.’ You won’t get what you want if you don’t ask, so you’ve got nothing to lose. 

 

“What will they think of me?”

 

Afraid you’re going to look bad if you ask? Our image is everything. Not wanting to look miserly or too much like you’re taking unfair advantage are reasonable worries. On the other hand, we tend to be our own harshest critics. Will the other person really look at you differently for asking? A salesman isn’t going to think twice about your asking, and your boss may respect you more for having the guts to ask. In the end, the more important question is, what will you think of you if you don’t ask?

 

“What if I screw this up?”

 

Nothing makes us kick ourselves more than the idea of losing an opportunity. On the other hand, if you don’t ask, you might be missing out on an even better opportunity. 

 

While these fears are irrational, there is some truth to the idea you need to think before you speak. Paying attention to who you’re dealing with should give you a feel for when to throw caution to the wind. In the end, even a missed opportunity isn’t the end of the world. There are always new things around the corner. Don’t let fear rule your life. You’re really braver than you think.

 

6 Steps to Negotiating Your Salary Like a Boss

Think back to the last job you got. What happened when they offered you the position?

 

If you took the salary offered, don’t feel bad. Approximately 60% of the population does (with the numbers higher if you happen to be a woman). What most people don’t realize is just how much leeway there can be in the amount they’re offered. In fact, most people who put themselves out there will actually gain a higher salary than initially offered. Some statistics state as much as $5,000 more a year!

 

With facts like that, learning how to negotiate a higher salary becomes crucial. Try these steps the next time you’re in this position, whether taking a new job or trying for a higher raise during your annual review.

 

Know the Base Pay Going In

 

If you’re not sure how much the position is typically worth, how are you going to know if you’re being offered a fair salary? Do online research before you even go into the interview. Have some idea what is typically paid for people in this position. 

 

Consider the Extras

 

It might be you’re not looking for more money so much as you’d like to see other bonuses such as extra days off, a better insurance package, or other benefits. Decide before you even start negotiations what perks are essential to you.

 

Try Outside Help

 

If you’re looking for a new employer, using a recruiter or headhunter might help you to gain a better salary range than you would on your own. They can also give you an idea of your value if you’re looking to renegotiate your salary where you are now.

 

What About Your Past Performances?

 

When talking salary, discussing your accomplishments reminds the potential employer of your value. This can be tricky to navigate, as most people don’t want to sound like they’re boasting. On the other hand, too much modesty won’t get you where you want to go either. Aim for somewhere in the middle for the best success.

 

Play Hardball

 

If you feel like you’re being severely undervalued, there comes a time when you need to stick up for yourself. Let the employer know you won’t do it for less than [insert specific amount you can live with.] If your skillset is particularly valuable, you’d be surprised at how often this works, or at least opens the door for further negotiation.

 

Use the Bottom Line

 

How have you saved the company money in the past, or increased sales? Money talks. Details like this go a long way toward reminding the employer of your value.

 

6 Tactics to Negotiate the Best Deal Possible

Nothing is absolute. When it comes to getting what you want, whether it’s the deal you’re trying to close or the car you’re buying, nothing is set in stone. You really can negotiate just about everything. 

 

Think about that a minute. You don’t have to pay the price listed whether you’re in a store shopping or talking to a vendor at a flea market. In fact, with the right tactics, you can negotiate the best deal possible, no matter where you are. 

Here are some tips to get you started:

 

Never Bother the Salesperson

 

To negotiate, you need to start with whoever is at the top. This means asking to speak to the store owner or the manager. The person in charge is the only one with the power to give you what you want. There’s no point in wasting time with anyone who doesn’t have the power to make a decision.

 

Put on Your Game Face

 

If you’re gushing about the product, you’ve already lost any power you might have had in the negotiation. A good poker face is essential. Never let on just how important something is to you.

 

Let Them Bid First

 

Negotiating is a game of back and forth. The trick? Never be the one to make the first move. Let them offer the opening price before making your offer. Then once you’ve put in your bid, wait for them to respond with a counteroffer before bidding again. Why? If you make the first bid, you might inadvertently start at a higher price than they were considering. Also, by taking turns, you never wind-up bidding against yourself, a tactic guaranteed to end in failure.

 

Lighten Up

 

Laugh. Smile. Keep things from getting too serious. Good negotiation happens when everyone is relaxed and enjoying themselves. This also has the benefit of keeping you from appearing too serious. If they think you’re not interested, they might offer up a better deal.

 

Try Email

 

Negotiating through another medium such as email slows down the process considerably and gives you time to really think about what you’re doing. It also provides a detailed record of the entire negotiation, so everyone is clear on the expectations and what the parameters of the final deal are.

 

Find a Training Ground

 

Wanting to negotiate something big and important like the purchase of a house or car? Spend some time practicing the art of negotiation. Flea markets, garage sales, and farmer’s markets are all great places to hone your skills. While there, watch how other people do it for additional insight.

 

In the end, you’ll be amazed at just how easy it is to learn how to negotiate to get what you want. With a little practice, you’ll be surprised at just how far you can go! 

 

7 Tips for Negotiating a Raise During Your Annual Review

It’s that time again. Are you ready? Most people look at their annual review with about as much anticipation as one would a root canal. No one truly enjoys the recital of the year’s successes, or worse, the failures. 

 

The worst part? The part of the conversation where money becomes the focal point of the discussion. In fact, more people dread this aspect of the review so much that they’ll take whatever is offered by way of raise without so much as a murmur.

 

While you’re certainly being agreeable enough, did you know you might be leaving money on the table? In fact, your annual review is the perfect place to negotiate a raise, setting yourself up for a significant earnings increase.

 

Here’s how to do it:

 

Document Everything

 

Your preparation for this moment should have started in the days following your last annual review. If you’ve done your homework, you’ve kept a record of what work you’ve accomplished, and all projects you’ve been part of, along with a list of your personal contributions to each. Weren’t quite prepared enough? Sit down and recreate as much of this material as you can in the days leading up to your review (and remember to start documenting for next year immediately afterward).

 

Know the Numbers

 

How much are others in your position earning, keeping in mind your experience and what part of the country you live in? Don’t know? Find out online. Knowledge is power.

 

Keep Your Ear to the Ground

 

How are other people’s reviews going? Listen for word about whether the expected raises were more or less for this year. 

 

What is Your Dollar Amount?

 

Using the information you have now, have a figure in mind going into the meeting. What amount would you like to see for the coming year?

 

Hold Your Ground

 

Once you’re in the meeting, don’t be afraid to use the information you’ve brought to the table to make your case. No matter what, don’t be combative, belligerent, emotional, or otherwise negative in your approach. Simply state the facts and go from there.

 

Ask for a Plan

 

Still got a ‘no’? Talk to your employer about what needs to happen to gain the desired level of salary. Make a timeline and ask for another review somewhere down the road to revisit the issue after you’ve made those changes.

 

Make it Official

 

Once you have a plan in place (or better yet, a promise of a raise) make sure you have the details in writing. This doesn’t have to be some long official document. Even a quick memo sent to HR and your boss should suffice. Make sure to include any details that came out in the discussion.