How You React Determines How You Will Overcome Obstacles

Each of us faces problems in our lives. It is an unavoidable fact of life that you will encounter problems, meet challenges, and experience failure now and then. That is true for every person on this planet. The difference is not how often you experience these problems but how you react to them that will determine whether you will be successful or not. Your belief in your own success and abilities to overcome your challenges is what will determine your outcome in life. 

 

A Tale of Two People

 

To illustrate this point, let’s consider two people, Candace and Penny. Candace looks at her life and sees nothing but problems. She always worries about what others are doing or thinking, she is often jealous of the successes of others, and when she sees a problem, she is highly likely to stop trying to reach her goal. 

 

Penny loves her life. She enjoys learning and sees the challenges she faces as opportunities to grow. She focuses on her goals and how she can achieve them, and she seems to bounce back after facing obstacles. 

 

Is it that Candace has more problems than Penny? No. They experience similar difficulties and face the same number of challenges regularly. What defines these two is how they view their problems and react to them, which informs their ability to ultimately be successful. 

 

When Candace looks at the successful people in her life, like Penny, she assumes their lives are easier or that they somehow do not have problems like she does. What she does not see is the mindset and hard work that these successful people put into overcoming the challenges that are a natural part of life. Instead of worrying about why they are facing difficulties, these people focus on solutions. 

 

How Your Reactions Dictate Your Success

 

Your reaction to problems will set you on a course for either success or failure. When you decide that it is not important enough to be patient or make sacrifices to reach your goal, you will never achieve success. When you are more focused on getting instant gratification than on what you can learn from your current experience, you cannot fulfill your dreams. 

 

Everything worth attaining in life takes time and effort. And it does not happen all at once; it happens in small steps and stages that are barely noticeable until you reach the finish line. And if you fail to do the everyday work, if you do not dedicate yourself to the habits that will get you there in small, everyday ways, you’ll never realize the result. 

 

When you come to a hill, you have two choices. Do you go up and over it or do you stay at the bottom? The first is the only way that will get you to your final destination, which is on the other side of the hill. Choosing the second means giving up on your goal. 

 

Habits like procrastination, making excuses, blaming others, and being a perfectionist are all ways you mentally justify why you can’t reach your goal. And these reactions to problems will keep you from realizing your dreams every time. Habits like self-discipline and engaging your personal power are reactions that will help you overcome whatever blocks your way and reach your goal. 

 

Final Thoughts

 

The difference between Candace and Penny are not the circumstances they face. They both have problems, and they both have opportunities to deal with those obstacles. The difference is in how the approach and think about these problems, which comes from their mindset. Changing your mindset about barriers is the best way to learn to overcome whatever hurdles you will face in life. 

 

Is Poor Self-Esteem Keeping You From Success?

Have you been struggling to achieve success? Can’t put your finger on what’s hindering you?

 

Your problem could be self-esteem. Believe it or not, self-esteem plays a huge role in whether or not you achieve success. Low self-esteem can keep you from getting what you want in life, achieving success, and being the person you want to be.

 

In this article, we’re going to explore how self-esteem can affect your success, how to identify if that’s the problem, and what to do about it.

 

How can self-esteem affect your success?

 

Low self-esteem can cause a lot of adverse effects; it can slowly rot you from the inside. It causes you to doubt all your actions and decisions, questions everything you say, and keep yourself from going for goals and taking risks.

 

High self-esteem, on the other hand, can get you what you want out of life. Confidence and high self-esteem are qualities of leaders; they’re appealing to employers. You’ll not only make decisions easier, but you won’t question what you say and do and you won’t hold yourself back.

 

How to identify if self-esteem is your problem

 

There are a few key signs that can clue you in on having low self-esteem. 

 

You constantly doubt yourself

 

Everyone doubts themselves from time to time, but if you’re constantly doubting everything you do and say, you likely have a self-esteem problem. Take a look at yourself and be completely honest; how frequently do you doubt yourself?

 

You never speak up for yourself

 

Keeping to yourself and not speaking up for yourself when the situation warrants it can be a sign of low self-esteem. Low self-esteem means low confidence. It means you don’t have the inner strength to defend yourself and speak up for what you want and what you believe in.

 

You’re holding yourself back

 

When was the last time you took a risk? When you were last presented with an opportunity, did you seize it or let it pass you by? Low self-esteem can cause you to hold yourself back and keep yourself from seizing opportunities. 

 

What to do about it

 

There are a couple of practices that can help you build up self-esteem. These exercises, when taken seriously and done regularly, will help you to boost your self-esteem and confidence.

 

Give yourself a pep talk

 

We realize this may sound silly, but it does actually work. A big part of low self-esteem is self-deprecating thoughts. You have to fight these thoughts and force them out and the only way to do that is by replacing them with positive ones. Give yourself a regular pep talk.

 

Remind yourself of your good qualities and strengths. Tell yourself what you’re capable of. Tell yourself what you would tell your best friend if they were down.

 

Step outside of your comfort zone

 

To take risks and seize new opportunities, you have to step outside your comfort zone. You can practice this by starting small and doing one thing new that puts you outside of your comfort zone each day.

 

You don’t have to go too far outside of your comfort zone the first time, but you do need to work towards getting a little further outside of it each time.

 

Give yourself at least one compliment a day

 

We’re often way too hard on ourselves, not giving ourselves enough credit and refusing to see the good within us. A good way to break this habit is by giving yourself at least one compliment a day.

 

We understand that this may feel weird at first, but given time, it’ll become second nature to you. Before you know it, you’ll subconsciously compliment yourself all the time and your confidence and self-esteem will skyrocket through the roof!

 

Leadership 101

Our society encourages everyone to be a leader. You can’t just be a leader, however. Being a leader takes experience and skills. Reading articles can’t give you everything that you need to be a leader, but it can help you understand what it takes to make yourself a great leader.

 

Give Yourself Time

 

As was mentioned above, waking up and trying to become a leader is not a good idea. This is true for a number of reasons, namely that you aren’t likely to become a good leader. Being a leader requires experience and an understanding of the work that is required of the “followers” in order for a leader to be effective.

 

That doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t allow yourself aspirations to leadership. A desire to become a leader while you are in a “following” position. Aspirations to leadership can make you a better follower, and approaching your following role from the position of someone who wants to be a leader can make you a more effective leader when your time comes.

 

Starting from a following position is also important in that followers are more likely to respect a leader who started out as a follower. Leaders who start off as leaders are often seen as being unprepared, naïve, or privileged.

 

Do Your Research

 

Working towards leadership should also involve studying leadership. This can come in many forms. Sometimes this means studying leadership styles or methods. There are a number of different established leadership styles and methods, but more on that later. No matter which leadership style you select for yourself or for your situation, knowing what other people have found to work can be important.

 

Many people also study great leaders from fields like politics, the military, or business. This can be a good way to learn about leadership techniques, but everyone has their own, and it is important not to try to lead as someone else would. Instead lead like you would.

 

Listen

 

Learning about leading comes from experience and from research but it also comes from listening. Learning from people in leadership positions that you have direct access to can help you to get the most out of your time as a follower.

 

Once you are a leader, however, your time listening isn’t over. Of course, you can continue to learn from other leaders, but the best leaders also listen to their own followers. “Followers” don’t get their fair shake in most societies, but the truth is that they do a great deal of work and their problems can really slow them down and have a negative impact on productivity. If you can listen to your team about their problems and how you can be a better leader for them, you will have a more productive team.

 

Find A Leadership Style

 

As mentioned above, there are any number of different leadership styles.

Which leadership style you use should be based on your personality, on the collective personality of your team, and on the goal that you have on hand.

 

This variety can mean that sometimes a leadership style that you have studied fervently or become comfortable with in one situation may not be effective or appropriate in another.

 

Put Your Team First

 

Finally, great leaders should think of their teams first.

 

Because of the emphasis placed on the importance and prestige of leadership, many people focus more on climbing the ladder than they do on completing their objective. This makes for ineffective leaders, but it also leads to ineffective teams. Of course, the leaders of ineffective have a harder time climbing that ladder.

 

Your greatest goal should be the success of your team, and the success of your team will make you more successful as a leader.

 

No article can tell you everything that you need to know about leadership, but hopefully this article has helped you to understand what some of these necessary skills and experiences are.

 

Leadership: It’s Not All About You

Do you have leadership potential? Are you a leader or a follower?

 

The way that people talk about leadership, you’d think it was all about you. Sure, there are some traits that you should develop to be a better leader and, sure, experience and education help. The truth is, however, leadership isn’t all about you. 

By definition, a leader works with a group of other people, and leadership is very much about them. You also came into your leadership position in a very specific context to do a very specific thing. Who you work with, who you work for, and what you are working towards are all aspects of leadership that you might not be able to change. 

 

There are lots of good resources about how you can develop into a better leader, but this article is going to be about the external aspects of leadership.

Company History

 

You are a leader within the context of a company that has its own history. Technology is changing the ways that many businesses do things, and it’s making it easier for new businesses to spring up. As a result, you might be the first person to have held your position at your company. In this case, people are going to expect things from you, and those expectations will likely impact your leadership style.

 

On the other hand, most people who come to occupy leadership positions are promoted into positions that were previously held by someone else. Your predecessor’s style of leadership and success or failure in that position may give you a boost as you take over, or it may serve as an obstacle that you will need to overcome as you put your own name on the desk.

 

Company Personnel

 

As was mentioned in the introduction, being a leader means that you won’t be working in isolation, you will have a team. That team will have their own quirks, their own strengths, and their own weaknesses.

 

Many of the strengths of a good leader involve getting the most out of your team by inspiring them, by helping them to work together, and by orchestrating them so that their strengths have the most possible impact on the team, while their weaknesses have the least impact. However, your control over who you have on your team may be very limited.

 

Company Policy

 

There are many different leadership styles and many different leadership positions. The two don’t often fit together – at least, not at first.

 

Depending on what task you are given for you and your team to achieve, you might not be able to be the kind of leader that you always wanted to be.

 

Sometimes the leadership style that you prefer or are used to don’t fit the current objective and you will have to tweak your approach a little to make it work. Whatever your preferred approach is, be sure to tweak it rather than abandon it. The best leaders are leaders that are confident in their own abilities and their own direction, and trying to make yourself into something that you aren’t will never work.

 

Being a good leader requires great personal strength, and you will find that you can make certain aspects of your leadership position entirely your own. Unfortunately, however, society views leadership as an entirely personal venture. 

 

To be the best possible leader, you will need to develop your personal strengths, but you will also need to consider all of the factors that you are going to be dealing with that are larger than yourself. 

 

As you approach a leadership position, be sure to know the history of that position in the company, the people that you will be working with, and what exactly will be expected of you. After that, consider finding ways to situate yourself within this environment. Only then will your personal strengths be able to shine.

 

Leadership vs. Authority

To Define Leadership

 

To lead is to show the way. It is to guide the actions or opinions of others, and to direct in a given course. (Websters New Riverside University Dictionary, 1984) 

 

A leader is an individual who guides or leads. The person in charge or command of others, the head of a political organization or social group, and an individual who has power and influence are all potential leaders with assigned or earned authority. 

 

Leadership is the skill of leading. Actual leadership requires the ability to motivate and inspire others. It is not dependent upon a tangible source of power, and is so much more difficult to define than this. 

 

It’s different from its synonyms.

 

Many organizations and people confuse those who they put into positions of power or authority with their leaders. Leaders shape our social structures, organizations, communities, and our nation. We tend to look to our leaders for guidance, and influence. 

 

The one concept we most often confuse with Leadership is Authority. In talking about Authority, there are different types: 

 

• Traditional

• Rational-Legal

• Charismatic

 

Traditional authority is dependent upon established tradition or order. We follow and adhere to traditional authority because it’s passed down through the generations. In cases of traditional authority, we yield to it because it’s the way we’ve “always done” something. Adults and children who question this type of authority, and Rational-Legal authority, are often accused of displaying something like Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD). This is because the act of questioning authority is often seen as an aberrant behavior. But, generally, if we do question authority for some reason, it’s Traditional and Rational-Legal more so than Charismatic. 

 

The source of power in a charismatic ruler is the trust and faith followers will give to the authority. The trust and faith are worship based, and we follow charismatic rulers because we want to appease them. Keep in mind, that there are examples of Charismatic Leaders who’ve used their position and authority to do some awful things: Jim Jones, and Adolf Hitler. Unfortunately, we are much less likely to question a charismatic authority figure who we love, and who we’ve chosen to follow, than a traditional authority figure who was thrust upon us based on tradition or rationality. 

 

Then we have Rational-Legal authority figures who derive their power based upon our vote. We elect these figures. Their elections anchor their legitimacy because we’ve put them in positions of power. Rational-Legal authority figures must possess some amoutn of charisma to begin with, or we wouldn’t be willing to follow their lead and interpretations of how we should behave within society.

 

Rulers and Leaders

 

A good leader is generally an individual who has been entrusted by their people to lead them for some purpose. In rational society we have a well-established practice of electing our Rational-Legal authority figures. Generally, we willingly hoist these individuals up into positions of power because they are charismatic, and we put our faith and trust in them. When a ruler seizes power in society, our lives, or in our professional environment, we often question their legitimacy until they prove their worthiness. 

 

Authority is simply the right to command, enforce laws, or exact obedience. There are plenty of men and women who are now and have been in positions of power and authority. 

 

• Your boss

• Kim Jong Un

• Joseph Stalin

• Donald Trump

• Your parents

• Your kids’ soccer coach

• A high school principal

• The Librarian

Also, there are individuals who have been and currently are Leaders who hold no rational-legal, or traditional authority. They’re leaders because they’ve proven their willingness to sacrifice for their cause, to give of themselves for our benefit, and lead the way to help us realize their ideal future. We have worshiped and loved these leaders, so we accept, or have accepted, their guidance. 

 

• Emmeline Pankhurst was a social reformer who founded the Women’s Social and Political Union. Suffragettes followed her unquestioningly because she was a charismatic leader, a powerful orator, and endured 13 imprisonments for the sake of her cause. 

• Martin Luther King Jr. was an activist and a leader in the Civil Rights Movement. He endured personal attacks, and loss for the sake of equality. 

• Marie Curie founded the science of radioactivity. She was the first woman to win a Nobel Prize, and the first Person to win a second Nobel Prize. 

• Rosa Parks refused to surrender her seat to a white person. She challenged race segregation in American and her protest sparked the Civil Rights Movement. 

• Nelson Mandela spent 30 years in prison. He was a leader before he was an official authority figure in South Africa. 

• George Washington was our country’s first president. Before that he was given real authority to lead the colonies armies against England in our Revolutionary War. Soldiers followed him because of his ability to lead, and unflinching integrity. 

 

A good leader can motivate her followers regardless of the institutional power she may or may not have been assigned. To be considered a leader among your subordinates, a manager must be able to encourage and inspire his employees and peers. Any authority fighter must have the respect of those she intends to lead to be an effective leader. 

 

Authority and Leadership

 

There is a difference between a boss and a leader; a President and World Leader; a Pope and a beloved Leader; and a Parent and a Leader. Understanding that Leadership is derived from the respect you’re able to garner, not the position you’re assigned is the single most important thing any leader will address first.

 

An office manager, boss, Senator, President, Queen, Parent, or High-School principal may have worked very hard to achieve the position in their organization, political party, or household that they now have. However, there is a difference between commanding the respect of the people who follow you willingly, and demanding respect from subordinates who find you weak, wishy-washy, demanding, or narcissistic. 

True leaders, as world history has borne out, command the love, respect, and admiration of their willing followers. 

 

Picking Yourself Up After Failure

There is nothing worse than the creeping dread of failure. It doesn’t matter whether you failed in a relationship, missed out on a promotion, bombed an interview or simply missed a major deadline. Sometimes, it feels as though it’s the end of the world. It’s not, no matter how much you feel as though it is. And its easy to fall victim to the failure and fall into a dark hole of depressions. The most important step you can take after experiencing failure is to pick yourself up and dust yourself off. 

 

How? 

 

How can you possibly begin to pick yourself up after failure? 

 

Take Time For Healing

 

You won’t get over failure in a day, it’s quite literally a heartbreak. It’s okay if you don’t feel cheerful for a minute. You should allow yourself time to heal from your failure. You will reach a point where you realize the sting has worn off. 

 

Remember This

 

Without failure, there can be no success. If you desire success, then you have to come to terms with the fact that you will fail. Multiple times. It will take numerous attempts to achieve success. This is something you will need to remind yourself of regularly. When you run into a brick wall and feel as though you can’t overcome an obstacle, remember that without failure there can be no success. If that scares you, then remember this – it’s that or you live your life littered with what ifs. 

 

Failure is a lesson; it isn’t digging your grave. The only way to avoid it is to do nothing at all. It doesn’t bear thinking about. 

 

Learn the Lesson

 

The wisest thing that you can do after a failure is learn. You shouldn’t view failure as an excuse to quit. It should serve as your motivation to go again and avoid making the same mistakes. If you’ve ever played a video game, then you will know how you regenerate at a checkpoint and start the task again. That’s how you should view failure. You didn’t die, you’re simply back to square one. It’s frustrating, but you’re down, not out. Now, you can repeat your attempt, but now you have more knowledge and insight into how best to approach it. 

 

Accept Your Mistakes

 

You can’t afford to dwell on your mistakes. What you have to do is accept them. You’re going to want to beat yourself up about it, but that is essentially dwelling on it. Instead, you must accept that mistakes happen, failure will occur, and it’s part of what will shape your success. 

 

Opportunity for Growth

 

This is a chance for growth so, put a positive spin on that failure. It’s your opportunity to re-evaluate your situation and look for new opportunities. 

 

From Mistakes to Mastery

 

When you learn to accept your mistakes, you are unlocking the door to mastery. You are moving from mistakes to mastery. You’re learning more about your craft. 

 

Your Next Steps

 

Once you experience failure, you must determine your next steps. You can steer yourself to success when you are proactive. Make decisions and put them into action.

 

You aren’t the first person in the world to fail. You’re not the only person in your inner circle to fail. As much as it may feel as though the world is against you, it’s not. It’s easier to motivate yourself to move forward when you recognize that you’re not alone. It’s normal and even the most successful people in history (and in the present) have experienced failure. They didn’t let it hold them back, why would you? 

 

Stop Denying Yourself What You Are Capable Of Achieving

Have you achieved what you’d like to from your life thus far?

 

Probably not. 

 

Why?

 

Fear. Concern. Stress. Worry. 

 

We worry about the path we will have to walk in order to achieve what we want. We imagine all of the worst-case scenarios and how it can all go wrong. You can’t stop making decisions, though. So, you either make your choices from a place of love or you do so out of fear. The latter leaves you walking a path of denial. You are denying yourself what you are capable of achieving. When what you want seems so far away, it seems ridiculous to expect it so with it out of reach you dismiss it. You choose what is safe. You choose what is comfortable. 

 

We are all capable of undermining ourselves. It’s something that many of us do unconsciously, subconscious self-sabotage. There are two incredibly important questions that you need to ask yourself. How? Why? How will you get what you really want to achieve? Why do you want it?

 

There are four common reasons why we place limitations on ourselves, and it’s typically one of these four things that is causing you to deny yourself. 

 

1. Self-Hatred

 

There is a part of you that is actively against you. This is literally your greatest enemy. It’s the critical voice in your head, the one that denies you, that sends you negative messages. The other half of you is struggling with the critical side, it’s trying to push forward, but your anti-self is trying to drag you back down and put you back in your place. Our early experiences in life help shape this voice and that may help you explain why yours is the way it is. Your environment also plays a role. If you were lonely, unhappy, and felt uncomfortable, then this will play a part in shaping how you talk to yourself now. 

 

Are you denying yourself because you don’t believe that you deserve more than what you have now?

 

2. Fear

 

This is one of the most common reasons we deny ourselves. We hold ourselves back because we are afraid of change, we are afraid of failure, afraid that our anti-self will succeed in rising against us. Rejection doesn’t feel good. Failure sucks. However, you are far more resilient than you believe you are. The same voice whispering in your ear telling you that aren’t capable is the voice that is feeding your fear. The reality of life is that it is painful and it is joyful. The more you live and love, the more likely you are to experience the pain. When you deny yourself from pursuing what you’re capable of achieving, you’re robbing yourself of joy.

 

3. Rigidity

 

Holding a negative self-image of yourself is destructive. Sadly, we rarely challenge that negative view of ourselves because we’re used to it. Since it’s familiar, it’s “comfortable”. You make the rules based on those lies and you start to believe that you’re protecting yourself. Did you get shouted at a lot as a child if you got too loud? Keeping quiet prevented that shouting. Yet, if you act timidly as an adult, you are denying yourself opportunities. Did you lose your temper in a bid to get attention from your parents? It worked then, but doing that in an adult relationship will push people away. We form defenses as a way to protect ourselves, but they don’t translate from childhood to adulthood. We have to adapt and move forward. 

 

4. Comfort

 

Your anti-self wants to trap you in a box, simply because it’s comfortable. It’s easier. At least, it feels easier, but is it really? Is it easier if you are forcing yourself to live in a world where you don’t achieve what you’re truly capable of achieving? You have to shut out your anti-self and nurture your true inner voice, the one that whispers sweet nothings in your ear and encourages you to stop denying yourself what you are capable of achieving.

 

Stop Following And Become A Leader

The world needs both followers and leaders. Being a leader, however, is often more lucrative and more rewarding.

 

But, how can one become a leader? Depending on your situation, getting into a leadership position might not be that difficult. Becoming a good leader, however, takes time and experience. This article can’t replicate that time and experience, but it can help to get you started.

 

Know The Requirements For The Next Promotion

 

The first step to getting a leadership position is finding a job with good upward mobility and keeping an eye out for opportunities. Some jobs only let you move so high without different experience or higher education.

 

Once you take a job, knowing the next step up and what the requirements are can help you to work toward that next step up by showing that you have the required skills or learning the required skills. Becoming a part time or online student to get any required or preferred degrees can help too.

 

Let The Boss Know You’re Interested

 

Initiative is a huge part of leadership. Letting your supervisor know that you are interested in taking on a leadership position – even before one becomes available – will let your supervisor know that you have initiative. 

 

Of course, being a leader also requires patience and hard work, so don’t quit the job if a leadership position doesn’t immediately become available. In addition to undoing all of the time and effort that you have put in at your current job, it may suggest to your next employer that you don’t have patience and tenacity.

 

Take On More Responsibility

 

Leadership also means responsibility. Taking on more responsibility before taking on a leadership position can help you in a number of ways. For one thing, it will show your supervisor that you are willing and able to take on more responsibility. It will also help you to get used to a greater level of responsibility so that when you end up in a leadership position you will know the ropes and know what it takes to work them.

 

It’s important, however, not to take on too many responsibilities too quickly. Taking on more responsibility will only impress the boss if you are able to handle it. Besides, being a leader also takes restraint and passing up an opportunity because you can admit that you aren’t ready for it is a wise and respectable move.

 

Find A Mentor

 

Taking on responsibility, showing initiative, all of these things are ways to both demonstrate that are interested in and prepared for a leadership position, as well as to get on the boss’s good side.

 

If you and the boss are on good terms, and the boss knows that you are looking to – let's be honest—take his or her job, you may be able to arrange a mentorship. Mentorships are great ways to learn the ropes from someone who’s handled them.

Mentorships are also helpful for your supervisor. Look at it this way: your boss is probably looking for their next promotion too. Once they get it, they’re going to need someone to fill their shoes. If that person isn’t ready for the job, it’ll be your boss who has to deal with it. 

 

As a result, it’s in your boss’s best interest to have someone ready to take their job when they go on to bigger and better things.

 

Don’t try to rush into a mentorship too soon, however. Mentorships are all about trust. After all, a crooked mentor could take advantage of all of your time end energy to lighten their load without actually intending to help you. Similarly, you could take advantage of all of their time and energy to put those skills to work at a different job.

 

Most of us want to stop following and become a leader. The best way to become a good leader, however, is to take advantage of all of the opportunities to learn and grow that following represents. Keep an eye open for the next opportunity at a leadership position, but don’t take your time as a follower for granted.