What Is Guilt And Why Does It Hold You Back From What You Want To Do

Let’s talk about guilt? It’s not a great feeling, is it? By definition, guilt is feeling of deserving blame for something. Often it’s a good check mechanism and a state of mind that we want to avoid. It moves us to action and gets us to do “the right thing”. Think back on your student days. Not doing your homework and lying about it made you feel guilty. That in turn ensured that you turned in your homework the next day and kept doing it going forward. Not a bad thing for your academic career. 

 

But sometimes guilt can be a bad thing and something that holds us back from achieving the things we want out of life. We feel guilty about spending time and money on growing a side business. We take away precious time from our loved ones to attend a live event. We don’t get to tuck the kids in at night because we’re going back to school. It’s easy to fall into the guilt trap even when we know what we’re doing is important and worthwhile. 

 

In short, like so many other things in live, guilt can be a positive thing, something that motivates you and gets you to work towards your goals and things you want to get done, or it can be the thing that’s holding you back. That’s why it’s important to pay attention to your feelings of guilt and ask yourself if it’s productive or if it’s holding you back. 

 

Over the course of the next seven days we’re going to dig deep and take a look at those guilty feelings, examine then, and then do something about it if they turn out to be feelings that hold you back and keep you from loving yourself and doing what you really want to do. 

 

Here’s the big problem with guilt. Sometimes it stops you from doing what you want to do as we discussed already. At other times it’s causing you to hold back and not give it your all. If you feel bad about missing dinner with the family, you’re not going to be fully present and committed in that client meeting or the class you’re taking. The guilt you’re feeling is keeping you from committing fully and giving it your all. 

 

It’s also taking a lot of the joy out of whatever it is you are doing. This may not seem like a big deal at first glance, but it takes a lot of the positive energy and drive out of your sails. It’s that energy that makes you push a little harder, try a little longer, and do all the little, seemingly insignificant things that make all the difference in the end. 

 

The guilt also gives you an easy excuse to give up. Life isn’t easy and any goal worth reaching takes work and effort. Sometimes it’s easier to give up than to keep pushing hard, solve problems, or resolve conflicts we’d rather avoid. That guilty feeling may be just the excuse you were looking for to justify giving up. By addressing these feelings of guilt and working through them, you can greatly improve your chances of reaching those goals and crafting the life you really want for yourself and your loved ones. 

Inspire Others To Pay It Forward

Have you ever heard the phrase, “Kindness is contagious?” Most sayings like this come to become widely known because they’re based in truth. Research has found scientific evidence for the fact that kindness can spread in various ways. You’ve surely experienced or witnessed instances in which someone has paid it forward or a movement has spread based on one person’s good deed. In today’s post, I’d like to explore this concept further and show you just how far-reaching the concept of helping others can be. 

 

Both Giver and Receiver Benefit

 

Everyone benefits from random acts of kindness. The giver feels good and gets that “helper’s high” from going out of their way to brighten someone else’s day. The recipient enjoys the surprise of an unsolicited positive outreach. We all appreciate when someone is nice to us. These good feelings tend to create a cycle because those involved want to continue feeling good. The giver gets a rush from helping someone and will often be motivated to keep giving in various ways. The recipient wants to share the rewards they’ve just gained. They may feel an obligation to “pay it forward”, but they know they will experience a reward, as well. 

 

Observers Experience Benefits, Too

 

Even if you’re not directly part of an act of kindness, you can benefit. A phenomenon known as “moral elevation” exists that ensures good deeds will spread. It works by creating positive feelings when certain events are triggered within the peripheral and central nervous systems. These neurophysical connections are made when someone witnesses or hears about an act of kindness or feel-good story. The high or euphoric feeling you then get motivates you to want to do something good, as well, perpetuating the pay-it-forward cycle. 

 

Evidence in Social Learning Theory

 

Social learning theory is the study of the ways in which groups interact. Its core principles are based on the fact that people will behave in similar ways to which they see those in their peer group or how their families behave. It’s sort of the “monkey see, monkey do” or “birds of a feather” philosophy. Therefore, when children grow up in a family in which kindness and compassion are the norm, they are more likely to display those traits also. Just as when teachers demonstrate and emphasize to their students a core philosophy of doing good, this standard will be the precedent among the class. Kindness is essentially contagious when groups continually perform such behavior. 

 

You can make a difference in your small corner of the world by simply performing random acts of kindness. Science and centuries of anecdotal evidence backs this up. Be the change you wish to see and encourage the people around you to do good deeds. You’ll begin to see an impact.

Use Your Voice To Make A Difference

There are so many ways to reach out and be kind to others. We’ve discussed doing so in big ways and with the simplest of acts. Today, I’d like to explore some of the ways you can use your voice to make a difference in the lives of those around you. We all have preferred communication methods. Using your preferred approach can make performing random acts of kindness less stressful or intimidating. Keep reading to discover what I mean. 

 

Verbal Methods

 

Some of us are good at using our actual voices to convey meaning. Talking is the way we most like to communicate. If this sounds like you, try to capitalize on that fact. Tell someone they’re doing a great job. Call your loved one up on the phone to let them know you’re thinking of them. Go visit your neighbor to check in and make sure they’re all right. Those who are outgoing and love to talk have lots of ways they can engage in random acts of kindness. 

 

Written Options

 

Other folks might feel intimidated about actually speaking to those in a way that makes them feel vulnerable. You might deal with social anxiety or be more introverted by nature. If that’s the case, there are still plenty of ways to show others you care and brighten their day. Maybe you’re a good written communicator. If so, send an email of thanks to a co-worker. Write a quick note on a post-it to surprise your child. Submit a review of a colleague on LinkedIn or leave a lovely blog comment for your favorite online personality. These are all great. 

 

Artistic Expression

 

You don’t actually have to use your voice at all if you prefer to be more creative in your good deeds. You can volunteer to draw a mural for your neighborhood. Perhaps teaching an art class at the local community center or volunteering to paint with residents of a nursing home might be enjoyable for you. Using your creative gifts are also fantastic ways to make your voice heard in a meaningful way for others. 

 

Body Language

 

Finally, another example of a way to communicate good will is in the subtle art of body language. A smile, hug or simply being present can make a huge difference in someone’s life. It’s okay to tell someone who’s going through a difficult time that you’d like to be there for them even if you don’t have the words or know-how to improve their life. Physically being near is a great comfort to many. That might be something you’re comfortable in doing. We can all give someone a smile or encouraging nod, at the very least. 

 

Consider these ways of giving back through your words or other forms of language. There are truly no limits to the ways we all can perform random acts of kindness. 

Make a Big Impact On The World Around You

We’ve talked a great deal about the ways that small acts of kindness can have powerful results. They can truly change someone’s outlook and brighten their day. Today, I’d like to move on to discuss ways to give back and share with others that involve more effort. If you have the time, money or other resources to give, there are a lot of ways to make a big impact on the world around you. These types of activities may not be for everyone, but they’re certainly worthwhile if you are able to take part in them. Let’s explore some of the large-scale random acts of kindness you can take on if you want to provide in a grand way. 

 

Start or Participate in a Fundraiser

 

Fundraising is important and can benefit a number of causes, from individuals in need to assisting the victims of natural disasters. Spearheading or even taking part in an established movement can entail a great deal of work and commitment. The results are usually tremendous, though. If you want to help someone in a big way, setting up or helping with a fundraiser is a great way to do it. You could rally everyone at your school, office or community to get involved. It’s also possible for your movement to reach a national scale, depending upon your resources and public interest.

 

Create a Foundation or Nonprofit

 

Another way to see results on a big scale is to set up a charitable foundation or nonprofit organization. You can benefit a particular cause through your efforts, and the number of people it’s possible to help is impactful. In order to do either of these activities, you will likely need a large amount of money and the help of experts like lawyers and financial advisers. However, it is possible to obtain grants or other funding backers to help you. There may be fewer limits than you think. 

 

Participate in Philanthropy

 

Volunteering is something you can do in your free time on occasion. Many people do this. It can also be undertaken at a larger level. You could take on the effort of establishing a crew of volunteers, perhaps from your work or just among friends, to help out a particular cause. Sometimes the benefactors of such volunteerism are individuals or families who are experiencing a difficult time. Other times, an existing organization can reap the rewards of your efforts. Volunteering on a large-scale may seem intimidating, but it’s not so bad when many people pitch in. You just might be the motivational leader to make it happen. 

 

If you’ve ever felt compelled to make a difference in a big way, consider one of these options. Some extra effort, dedication and resources can result in a random act of kindness that goes beyond anything you ever imagined.

Random Acts of Kindness Doesn’t Have to Be Complicated or Expensive

One thing I’ve learned along the way to becoming proficient at performing random acts of kindness is that it takes practice and creativity. I’ve already shared some ways for you to get started on your own do-gooder practice, but you still may not be convinced. Doing something for others doesn’t have to take much effort at all. It also doesn’t have to cost a dime. Let’s take a look at some ways you can reach out and brighten someone’s day in the easiest way. You can never have too many good examples. 

 

• Smile at a stranger. 
• Encourage someone who’s struggling.
• Give a word of praise to someone who’s least expecting it, like your boss.
• Hold the elevator for someone who’s in a rush.
• Read a child a story.
• Listen to someone’s complaint.
• Say a heartfelt thank you.
• Share a friend’s creative work on social media.
• Call someone you haven’t talked to in a long time just to say hello.
• Leave a blog comment when you read a post that truly resonates with you.
• Offer a homeless person your leftovers from a restaurant or bagged lunch.
• Tell a frazzled parent what a good job they’re doing or how well-behaved their child is.
• Give someone a hug if they say it’s okay to do so.
• Offer to return someone’s shopping cart.
• Share a kind word with the customer service representative, either on the phone or in-person.
• Give up your seat to someone standing on the subway or bus.
• Write a short message of thanks or encouragement to a co-worker, your partner or random stranger. 
• Say hello to a homeless person.
• Introduce yourself to a new neighbor or co-worker.
• Make introductions between your contacts if you feel they could benefit each other or get along well.
• Let someone merge in front of you when driving in heavy traffic.
• Offer to take on someone’s work task if you have time and they seem swamped.
• Give someone a ride who doesn’t have a car.
• Make amends for past wrongs to someone who was once in your life.
• Agree to an activity you might not enjoy just because someone else will love it.
• Invite someone to your holiday celebration if you know they’ll be alone. 
• Share your expert knowledge with someone who has questions and has asked for advice. 
• Write a recommendation on LinkedIn.
• Offer to pick up items for others when you’re heading out to grab lunch or run an errand.
• Recognize someone for their good idea or contribution during a work meeting.

 

Okay, now are you ready to get out there and start sharing random acts of kindness? All of these are super-easy, low-effort and free ways to brighten someone’s day. You can do it!

Try Doing A Random Act Of Kindness Today

Even after getting the previous list of ideas to get you started, you still may not be convinced you’re ready to go out there to spread unexpected joy in the world. I can understand that. Giving without a special occasion or particular reason feels foreign. You may worry about the reaction you’ll receive. Let’s explore some of these issues so you can move on from your comfort zone and try a random act of kindness today. 

 

About Random Acts of Kindness

 

Kindness goes beyond simply being nice. Being kind is selfless. It requires empathy and putting yourself in someone else’s shoes. In our busy modern world, we’re often consumed with hectic schedules and too many commitments. That can make it difficult to look outside of ourselves and consider the needs of others. Random acts of kindness require you to take the leap and do just that. These selfless acts are to be performed on behalf of others for no other reason than to make their day better or improve their mood.

 

What’s Holding You Back? 

 

There are lots of things that could be keeping you from sharing random acts of kindness with others. Many people feel insecure about putting themselves out there and allowing themselves to be vulnerable in this way. It takes courage and self-confidence to give freely to another with no agenda or particular reason. You’ll probably overcome this comfort once you begin to practice doing little acts here and there. Sometimes people feel themselves to be unworthy. They may think others wouldn’t receive their gift without suspicion. It can be risky to take such a leap, but the rewards are usually worth it. Most recipients are quite enthusiastic and happy to get such a surprise. Maybe you just feel too wrapped up in your own needs that it seems impossible to spare anything for anyone else. Usually, you’ll find this not to be the case once you start to give. 

 

Step Out of Your Comfort Zone

 

Doing random acts of kindness take you out of your own little world and allow you to connect with others in meaningful ways. This can have a very powerful effect on you, your recipient and anyone who sees or comes in contact with your efforts. Performing unsolicited good deeds adds positivity to the world around you. It will rarely have negative repercussions. Try taking just one small step outside your comfort zone to give to another in even the smallest of ways. Then try something a bit more daring the next day. Each positive response will increase your confidence. 

 

Are you ready to start performing random acts of kindness today? Hopefully, you’ve given some thought to what’s holding you back and feel enthusiastic about all the ways you could enhance the lives of those around you. 

Examples of Random Acts of Kindness To Inspire You

Performing random acts of kindness may be new to you, so it’s possible you have no idea how to begin. That’s okay. Coming up with ideas can be tough. That’s why today’s blog post is packed full of things you can do to make someone else’s day a little brighter. Some of the activities will cost you nothing and take only a moment of your time. Others will be more in-depth. Choose whatever fits your comfort level and the occasion. Enjoy these examples of random acts of kindness to inspire you. 

 

• Hold the door open for the person behind you whose hands are full. 
• Allow the shopper in the grocery line move ahead of you if you only have a few items and their cart is full. 
• Check on an elderly neighbor or shut-in. 
• Donate your old clothes to charity. 
• Tape change to a parking meter or vending machine.
• Give the new employee a tour of your work area or offer to sit with them at lunch.
• Volunteer. At a nursing home, a homeless shelter, a soup kitchen, your kid’s school, anywhere. 
• Adopt a child or family during the holidays to give gifts to. 
• Send a get-well card to someone, or even a card for no reason whatsoever. 
• Ask for donations to your favorite charity instead of presents for your birthday. 
• Smile at someone on the street. 
• Give an unsolicited compliment.
• Pay for the person behind you in line at the fast food restaurant or drive through. 
• Let the manager of the store know when an associate gives you exceptional service. 
• Leave kind notes in the dressing room to encourage body positivity. 
• Offer to babysit for parents who really need a night away or to help with the nightly feedings for a new mother friend.
• Clean up the trash in your neighborhood or at your favorite outdoor recreation spot like a park or beach. 
• Visit a nursing home just to spend time with those who rarely receive visitors or to bring treats for the residents. 
• Send a note of thanks to someone who’s made a big difference in your life. 
• Pay for someone’s layaway who hasn’t made a payment in a long while. 
• Fundraise by participating in a 5K, walk or other sponsored activity.
• Shovel the driveway for elderly neighbors or those who may otherwise have trouble doing the job themselves. Mowing lawns and raking leaves are also good ideas.
• Mentor a young person entering your profession
• Help someone stranded on the side of the road. 
• Take the time to listen to someone who is having a bad day.

 

Hopefully, this quick list will inspire you to begin sharing random acts of kindness with those around you. Pick one from the list or come up with an idea of your own, then just do it. See how you feel. Chances are you’ll be ready to do another one tomorrow.

What Are Random Acts of Kindness & Why Do They Matter

You’ve probably been the recipient of a random act of kindness in your lifetime. Think back to an instance in which someone has helped you out of a tough situation when they could see you were having difficulty or when a friend simply paid you a compliment out of the blue. A sweet surprise like this can really make a difference. Did you also know such experiences can also be good for your health and overall well-being? It’s true. A random act of kindness can be a good deed, caring word, selfless act or small gift. Even a smile can brighten someone’s day. Take a look at some of the benefits of random acts of kindness. 

 

Encourage Gratitude 

 

Doing something nice for someone else can make you feel grateful for your blessings. This is especially true when the recipient of your act is less fortunate than you or in a tough spot. When you realize you’re able to give even the smallest bit of yourself to someone else, it shines perspective on the abundance you have in your life. 

 

Lower Stress

 

Stepping out of ourselves in order to focus on someone else is another great way to gain renewed perspective. Plus, doing good just makes you feel better. It releases feel-good hormones and increases your happiness. Suddenly, your troubles may seem a bit less burdensome. 

 

Improved Mood

 

Numerous studies have shown a positive effect on mood when people engage in random acts of kindness. You’re bound to feel better about life in general when you do good deeds. Improved mood, less anxiety and higher energy levels have all been linked to the performance of random acts of kindness. In fact, research has demonstrated that the pleasure and reward centers of the brain actually light up in those who perform these acts in much the same way as they respond in the recipients. It even has a name, and that’s “helper’s high”. 

 

Less Pain

 

You might even feel physically better when you practice kindness. It’s been proven that endorphins are released in the brain after doing something for someone else. Endorphins are hormones produced in the brain and nervous system. They’re often referred to as natural painkillers for their pain reducing abilities. 

 

Better Relationships

 

When you do something nice for another person, they will naturally recall that act with fondness. Random acts of kindness promote good feelings among people and increase connections. These bonds can lead to better relationships and lasting positive interpersonal results. 

 

These are merely a handful of the rewards that come from doing random acts of kindness. Remember, it doesn’t matter how small the gesture. Doing good always makes a positive difference to both the giver and the recipient. 

Five Must Have Supplies That Should Be Part Of Your Disaster Preparedness

No matter where you live, what your personal situation is, or what type of disasters you may be facing, there are some basic supplies everyone should have on hand “just in case”. Here are five things that you should stock and store at all times to make sure you can make it no matter what live throws at you. 

 

Water 

 

Let’s start with the most important and most urgent item on the list – water. You can make it a surprisingly long time without food, power, and all sorts of other stuff. You can’t make it very long without a reliable source of drinking water. 

 

We’ve become so reliant on our faucets that it’s easy to forget that we should store water for a few days whenever something happens. One of the first things you should do when you’re prepping for an imminent emergency is to store some water. Buy a few bottles or gallons at the store, or fill up containers at home. Keep a water filter, or a little Clorox on hand to keep water drinkable for longer time periods. 

 

Non-Perishable, Ready-To-Eat Food 

 

While human beings can go a surprisingly long period of time without food, involuntary fasting isn’t particularly pleasant. Keep a few ready to eat foods in your pantry at all times including peanut butter, crackers, protein bars, and canned foods that you can eat without heating. It helps to stick with items that you eat on a regular basis, so you can rotate through this food store and don’t risk having it go bad. 

 

In addition, start to stock up if the time of year approaches where natural disasters can occur. Don’t forget to bring some of this emergency food supply with you when you need to evacuate. You can’t always rely on others to provide you with food and stores and restaurants along the way may be closed. 

 

Weather Radio 

 

The next important item that makes it on the list is a small battery-operated weather radio. Keep a set of spare batteries with it as well. This is important because you will need the latest weather and government updates as well as news. Don’t rely on your phone and the internet as your only source for information. The network could go down or overload. This makes an important backup. 

 

Flash Light And Batteries 

 

Things always seem worse in the dark, don’t they? And not just that. It can be downright dangerous to move around outside, or even inside your home without a reliable source of light. Candles will work in a pinch, but they also bring the risk of setting your surroundings on fire. Instead make sure your kit includes several flash lights and spare batteries. Headlamps are particularly helpful when you’re trying to move around get stuff done. 

 

First Aid Kit 

 

Last but not least, let’s talk about a first aid kit. The size of your kit will depend on the size of your family. Start with a standard kit available at your local store and then add any and all medications you and your loved ones take and need. Check this kit and the rest of your disaster supplies regularly to make sure you’re prepared when you need to grab your supplies and leave quickly.