How the Lack of Self-Care Can Lead to an Unhappy Life

Self-care is often seen as a luxury, but did you know it can lead to a longer, happier life? Without self-care, you’re likely to end up feeling stressed, tired, and generally unhappy. 

Here, we’ll look at how a lack of self-care can lead to an unhappy life. You will also learn some of the signs to watch out for that you need more self-care in your life.

 

You’ll feel stressed and exhausted

 

When you aren’t taking care of yourself, you’ll often feel stressed and exhausted. This in turn can lead to burnout and a feeling of resentment. For example, it could be that you are exhausted from taking care of everyone else’s needs. Over time, if you don’t factor in self-care, you could end up resenting your loved ones.

 

When you are constantly exhausted and stressed out, it’s impossible to maintain a positive outlook. Self-care helps to combat stress and it also boosts your energy levels. 

 

Personal hygiene suffers

 

A side effect of not following a self-care routine, is that your personal hygiene could suffer. This is especially true for those experiencing depression. When you are depressed or low, self-care is the last thing on your mind. In severe cases, you could spend days in bed, failing to do even basic self-care tasks such as taking a shower or brushing your teeth.

 

The trouble is, failing to take care of yourself leads you to feel even worse. So, maintaining self-care is crucial for your mental health and personal hygiene. 

 

You’ll seek unhealthy enjoyment

 

Another thing that tends to happen when you lack self-care, is you’ll seek unhealthy enjoyment. It could be overindulging in junk food because it makes you feel better. Or you could turn to alcohol or drugs to escape. 

 

When you start turning to unhealthy habits for comfort, it’s going to lead to additional issues. You’ll also feel unhappier, particularly if you drink in excess. Alcohol is a depressant which can leave you feeling a lot worse than you started.

 

Weight gain 

 

Many people who don’t take care of themselves, experience some level of weight gain. The more weight you gain, the unhappier you are going to be. It can be difficult to lose weight, so focus on self-care to help you to avoid this potential challenge.

 

You never feel good enough

 

Self-care is something you do because you are worth it. Therefore, if you fail to take care of yourself, you can end up feeling like you are never good enough. As you are constantly tired and juggling life’s responsibilities, you may feel like you are a failure, or you simply don’t measure up to others.

 

These are just some of the things that can happen when you don’t follow a self-care routine. The effects can be severe, causing you to lead an unhappy and unfulfilled life. So, if you’re looking to lead a happier life, now is the time to start focusing on your needs and making self-care a priority.

 

How to Balance Practicing Personal Self Care with a Busy Life

One of the most difficult challenges a lot of people face with self-care, is finding the time to fit it in. When you live a busy lifestyle, it can seem almost impossible to find extra time to look after you.

 

So, how can you balance practicing self-care with a busy lifestyle? Here, you’ll discover some great tips you can follow.

 

Schedule it in

 

A good tip you can follow to ensure you can fit self-care into your busy routine, is to schedule it in. Think about it, you schedule in everything else, so why not self-care? When you set a time to focus on yourself, you are much more likely to stick to it. No matter how busy you think you are, there will always be time for self-care somewhere in your schedule.

 

Establish a morning routine

 

If you are struggling to find the best time of day to practice self-care, you might find it easier in the morning. If you’re a busy parent, you might disagree here but think about it. In the morning, you could get up just 30 minutes earlier, or 15 minutes if you want. This can be the perfect opportunity to practice self-care.

 

Alternatively, if you are a parent you could focus on self-care in the evenings when the kids have gone to bed. It doesn’t take long to practice self-care so you should always be able to squeeze it in somewhere. 

 

Look at automating daily tasks

 

There are all kinds of tools and gadgets that can automate various aspects of our lives. If you are constantly busy, you’ll find automating certain tasks can be a game changer. 

 

For example, you could switch from going to the grocery store, to ordering groceries online. If you have items you frequently purchase, these can be added to your favorites list, making it easier to add them to your order next time. Doing your grocery shopping online can free up a lot of free time during the week that can be used on self-care.

 

Start small

 

You don’t have to start by completely overhauling your lifestyle. Instead, you can start small with self-care. Begin by taking just 10 minutes out of each day to focus on a self-care activity. Focus on developing one positive self-care habit at a time. Once you have mastered that, you can move on to the next task. 

 

By starting small, it makes it easier to fit self-care into your busy life. Many people mistakenly think they need to begin with at least 30 minutes a day. The truth is, however much time you can free up for self-care is enough. Once you get started, you’ll find it easier to start focusing more on self-care due to the benefits you experience.

 

Overall, balancing practicing self-care with a busy lifestyle isn’t easy. However, the tips above can really help. You’ll find a lot of tips online too from busy people just like you. Remember, self-care is essential to your health and wellbeing. So, no matter how busy you are, you should always try and make time for self-care daily.

 

The First Step to Change is to Recognize it is Needed

If you’re struggling to make healthier changes in your life, it could be that you’re not convinced a change is needed. Many of us are also great at avoiding change. It tends to be something we dread, rather than look forward to. 

 

However, if you want to live your best life, it’s imperative you recognize when a change is needed. So, how exactly can you recognize that change is needed in your life? Below, you’ll discover some of the common signs to look out for.

 

You feel lost or stuck in life

 

Do you feel like you’re stuck in a rut and you have lost your purpose? This is a sure sign that a change is needed. Everyone has a purpose, but it isn’t always easy to identify it. Also, your purpose can change as you get older and go through life’s experiences. So, if you feel like your life isn’t your own anymore, it’s time to make a change. 

 

Your mood is consistently flat

 

Another sign change is needed is if you find your mood is constantly flat. That is, you don’t really enjoy anything anymore. You don’t have to feel depressed to make a change, simply feeling constantly flat is another indicator your life isn’t satisfying.

 

Think about the things that used to make you feel good. It could be that you once enjoyed your career. If you now don’t like your job, it’s a sign you need to make a change to get back to feeling that initial excitement. 

 

You suffer with poor self esteem

 

Low self-esteem can develop for a lot of different reasons. However, it tends to be more prevalent in those who don’t take care of themselves. If you lack self-care, you may criticize yourself more or feel like you aren’t worth much. 

 

Over time, poor self-esteem can lead you to feel like you don’t deserve good things in life. This in turn can cause you to give up trying to be happy. If you suffer with poor self-esteem, it is a good sign you need a change. 

 

You have very little energy

 

Having little energy throughout the day could be a sign of poor sleep. However, it can also relate to a deeper issue if you are constantly tired. It may mean that you have lost your passion and interest in life. When you spend a lot of time doing things that don’t inspire you, it can zap your energy quickly. 

 

So, if you wake up feeling tired and drained consistently, take it as a sign you need more self-care in your life. When you are taking care of yourself, you’ll feel energized and ready to take on anything.

 

As you can see, there are a lot of signs that could point to the fact you need a change. Self-care can really help to improve self-esteem, give you a sense of purpose and help to make you feel happier and more energized. So, if you want to make a change, recognize where your current issues lie and use self-care to eliminate them. 

 

Why People Fail So Badly at Taking Care of Themselves

Even when you know how important self-care is to your wellbeing, it isn’t always easy to incorporate it into your daily routine. In fact, did you know many people fail when it comes to taking care of themselves?

 

Here, we’ll look at why people generally fail when it comes to self-care and the main things holding them back.

 

It is often perceived as selfish

 

One of the main reasons people fail to take care of themselves is because they feel it is selfish. It could be that you feel guilty when you take time to focus on you. Or, you may worry what other people think, or that you are a terrible parent for not focusing solely on your children’s needs.

 

It is a total myth that self-care is selfish. In fact, it can help you to be a better parent, friend, spouse and relative. The more you take care of yourself, the easier you’ll find it to take care of others. You’ll also show your children the importance of self-care. Teaching them to take care of their own needs is a crucial life skill that’s going to help them to grow up to be happier adults. 

 

It requires effort

 

There is no getting away from the fact that self-care does take some level of effort in the beginning. When you aren’t used to making self-care a priority, you’re going to need to make quite a few changes to your routine. 

 

Coming up with a self-care plan can feel like a chore, making it easy to put it off. However, there are ways to reduce the effort. For example, focusing on one thig you want to improve at a time can really help. Perhaps you’d like to start working out more? Scheduling time to exercise as soon as you wake up for example, can be a great start. Or, if you’re looking to drink more water, focus on that goal first.

 

If you break down your self-care tasks, it makes them much easier, reducing a lot of the effort involved. 

 

Different approaches work for different people

 

Every one of us is different, which means we enjoy and dislike different things. When you initially look at examples of self-care, you’ll find a lot of them relate to things like reading a book or taking a hot bubble bath. These types of activities aren’t for everyone so they might feel self-care really isn’t for them.

 

Self-care isn’t just bubble baths, yoga, and meditation. It is anything that relaxes and takes care of you. So, if you find going for a run is a more effective way of feeling good, that would be classed as a self-care task. 

 

If you find one self-care approach isn’t working, try something else. Self-care should be personal to your own needs. 

 

These are the most common reasons people fail to take good care of themselves. It can be difficult overcoming the initial barriers to self-care. However, once you fully understand what and how important it is, you’ll find it much easier to stick to a self-care routine. 

 

Are Emotional Vampires Draining You Dry?

Is your energy constantly being drained by emotional vampires? The people around us affect how we feel and view the world. There are plenty of reasons why some people may drain your energy more than others. You could be dealing with a narcissist, or someone who complains most of the time.

 

If you have an emotional vampire draining you dry, it’s time to start protecting your energy. Below, you’ll discover how to recognize the signs of an emotional vampire, and the best ways to protect your energy.

 

Understanding The Different Types of Emotional Vampires

 

Emotional vampires come in a variety of forms. They include:

 

• Victims

• Narcissists

• Constant talkers

• Controllers

• Drama queens

 

Each type of emotional vampire will leave you feeling tired and deflated after being in their company. Victim emotional vampires are the people who always play the victim, even when they are the perpetrator. Narcissists are only interested in their own thoughts and feelings, while constant talkers drain your mental energy. 

 

Most of us know at least one type of emotional vampire in our lives. Not sure how to identify them? There are a few signs to watch out for…

 

Tell-Tale Signs You Are Dealing with An Emotional Vampire

 

There are several tell-tale signs that can help you decide if you’re dealing with an emotional vampire. The main signs to watch out for include:

• You feel mentally exhausted after spending time with them.

• You feel depressed or anxious around them.

• You feel like they are putting you down.

• You turn to comfort eating or drinking alcohol after being around them.

 

Everyone who encounters an emotional vampire will feel at least one of the things above. You basically don’t feel great when you spend time with them.

 

Protecting Your Energy

 

If you are dealing with an emotional vampire, how can you stop them from draining your energy? The good news is there are strategies you can use to deal with them. 

 

First, if you can, you should distance yourself from the person. Avoiding being around an emotional vampire is the best way to stop them negatively impacting you. However, this isn’t always possible. 

 

If you can’t distance yourself, make sure you are practicing self-care. Taking care of yourself will allow you to feel more confident to set healthy boundaries. You will naturally be more assertive and protective over your time. So, if you don’t already, set aside time every day to focus on you. Pamper yourself, take care of your own needs first, and watch how your energy and tolerance changes for negative people.

 

If you are really struggling to handle an emotional vampire in your life, you can also turn to therapy. Seeking help from a professional will enable you to understand why you can’t deal with the problem, as well as provide solutions that can help.

 

Emotional vampires are everywhere today. It isn’t always possible to get away from them immediately, but there are things you can do in the meantime to protect yourself and your energy.

 

Criticism Is Not Always Meant to Be Negative

Do you struggle to handle criticism? While some criticism does come from a negative place, most of the time it is meant with love and good intentions. Unfortunately, even if the person criticizing you is coming from a good place, it can still hurt. If you struggle to handle criticism, here we’ll look at why it isn’t always a negative thing. 

 

Differentiating Between Negative and Positive Criticism

 

There are a few ways to determine whether criticism is coming from a positive or negative place. It could be that you naturally respond badly to criticism of any kind. Many people are naturally defensive when they are met with criticism. So, the first step is to tame that initial negative reaction. 

 

Try and view the criticism with an open mind. Remember, none of us are perfect! Could there be any truth in what the person is saying? Also pay attention to how the criticism is delivered. Do they give a reason for their feedback, or does it appear that they are nit-picking just to be difficult?

 

Criticism can come from a negative place, but often it is said to help us improve. Being able to recognize when somebody is being helpful, or just negative, is important.

 

The Role of Self-Esteem 

 

Your self-esteem will largely determine how you react to criticism. The more confident you are, the less likely criticism is to affect you. Those who have a healthy dose of self-esteem will be able to learn from any criticism they receive without taking it too personally. 

 

Think about your own self-esteem. Could it use some improvement? If so, focus on ways to build up your self-esteem and you’ll notice this has a direct impact on your ability to handle criticism. You’ll find a lot of awesome self-esteem building tips online. 

 

Top Tips to Deal with People Who Criticize Instead of Critique

 

We’ve all been criticized when what we needed was an honest critique, with positive and negative points. As you work on building up your self-esteem, there are some other tips you can implement to deal with overly critical or negative people. 

 

Staying calm is important. You may find when you are met with criticism, your initial reaction is anger. However, if you express anger, it isn’t going to help the situation. In fact, it could work in your critic’s favor! Remaining calm gives, you the ability to fully understand where the criticism is coming from and enables you to deal with it much better.

 

If the problems are coming from your boss, try and get to the bottom of where the feedback is coming from. If you feel it is still unjust, ask to speak to somebody higher up in the company. Sometimes we need an outsiders view to see what is really happening.

 

Overall, criticism is never nice to deal with. However, it isn’t always meant as a negative. Some criticism can help you to grow and become a better person. So, don’t be quick to dismiss any criticism thrown your way. Think about it with an open mind and decide whether there is something to be learned. 

 

How Negativity Affects Your Job

When you have a negative mindset, it’s going to affect every aspect of your life. Your energy impacts those around you. So, if you bring a negative energy into the workplace, it’s going to have several repercussions.

 

Here, you’ll discover how negativity affects your job. You will also see how you can start to eliminate your own negativity in the workplace. 

 

How does negativity impact your job?

 

There are a lot of ways negativity can impact your job. When you have a negative mindset, it can affect your performance, work relationships, and overall wellbeing. 

 

The trouble with negativity, is that it attracts more negativity. Therefore, if you go into work with a negative attitude, it is going to rub off on your colleagues too. This will lead to a toxic workplace where nobody is happy and stress levels are increased. 

 

As well as impacting the work environment, a negative outlook can also cause issues with performance. You may not apply for new opportunities as they arise, forcing you to miss out on a potentially better job. You will also notice your energy levels aren’t great, and the quality of your work will suffer.

 

These are just some of the ways negativity can impact your job. So, how can you fix it? 

 

Ways to become less negative at work

 

There are ways you can become a more positive person at work. However, it might take quite a lot of effort to overcome your negative thinking. The best ways to combat negativity at work include:

 

• Identify the cause

• Think of something you are thankful for

• Talk to your boss

• Distance yourself from negative colleagues

 

Identifying the cause of your negativity is crucial. There could be numerous reasons why you have a more negative attitude at work. Maybe you keep getting passed over for a promotion, or you are bored of your current role? Identifying the cause enables you to figure out the best ways to combat it. 

 

Whenever you feel yourself slumping into a negative mood, think of something you are thankful for. After all, it’s difficult to remain negative when you are thinking of something positive. 

 

You may also find it useful to talk to your boss if you haven’t already. If you are unhappy with something, let them know. Ask them for a promotion, rather than waiting for one. You could also ask them for further training opportunities and more responsibility.

 

If you have colleagues who are negative, make sure you distance yourself from them. It could be that others are putting you in a negative mood, so distancing yourself from them will protect your energy and your positivity. If they see you with a more positive outlook, it will also help them to develop one too. 

 

As you can see, there are several ways you can address your negativity in the workplace. Identifying the root cause is the key to finding the right solution. If you are just naturally negative, working on developing a more positive mindset will help. However, this will take time so don’t expect results overnight. 

 

Is Negativity Ruining Your Self-Esteem

When you have a negative outlook, it tends to affect every aspect of your life. Studies have shown that negative self-talk can cause issues with self-esteem.

 

With poor self-esteem, you may feel worthless, or like you don’t measure up to everyone else. It can affect your relationships and prevent you from taking on opportunities.

 

Is negativity ruining your self-esteem? You can discover if negative self-talk is dragging your self-esteem down, as well as what signs you need to watch for.

 

How Negativity Impacts Self-Esteem

 

Self-esteem can both be a cause of negativity, and a result of it. When you have a negative mindset, it often stems from feeling inadequate or due to a lack of control over a situation. This leads to negative self-talk, such as you’ll never amount to anything, or you aren’t good enough to achieve success. 

 

The trouble with negative thoughts is that they multiply quickly. Over time, you’ll find they greatly affect your confidence and cause you to question your value. Negativity is a self-esteem killer, causing you to doubt everything as well as yourself. 

 

Understanding Negative Self-Talk

 

Negative self-talk is basically your inner critic reminding you of all the negative things you or others have said about you. Negative self-talk can have a significant impact on your self-esteem, confidence, and overall wellbeing.

 

Put simply, negative self-talk prevents you from believing in yourself and your abilities. It keeps you from making positive changes and achieving success. 

 

Signs You Have Low Self-Esteem

 

So, how do you know if you have low self-esteem? There are some signs to look out for which may suggest your self-esteem could use some work. These include:

 

• You have little confidence

• You compare yourself negatively to others

• You find it difficult asking for help 

• You worry a lot 

• You find it difficult to accept compliments

 

These are just a small number of the signs of low self-esteem. The question is, how can you eliminate negativity and build up your self-esteem?

 

Ways To Reduce Negativity and Build Self-Esteem

 

If you are ready to start combatting your negativity and building up self-esteem, there are a few things you can do. Start by assessing what is contributing towards your negativity. Is it past experiences such as being bullied at school for example? By figuring out where your negativity stems from, you’ll be able to start working on overcoming it. 

 

Surrounding yourself with positive people is a great way to challenge negativity. The people you surround yourself with make a huge difference to how you feel. If you are around negative people, you yourself will end up feeling more negative. 

 

Looking after yourself, utilizing positive affirmations, and stopping comparing yourself to others are also good tips you can follow.

 

If you have poor self-esteem, the amount of negativity you experience could be partially to blame. As you focus on becoming more positive, you’ll find that you automatically begin to feel happier and more confident.

 

Is Your Own Negativity Affecting Your Friendships?

You will find a lot of information online about how to eliminate negative friendships from your life. However, what if the source of negativity is coming from you? 

 

It isn’t always easy to recognize when you are being negative. Some people have no idea how their negativity is impacting others. So, if your friendships have been suffering lately and you aren’t sure why, it could be down to your own mindset. 

 

Here, we’ll look at how your own negativity could be affecting your friendships and what you can do about it.

 

Are You a Negative Friend?

 

It isn’t always easy to identify negativity in ourselves. Many people are unaware that they are projecting negativity onto others. So, how can you identify if you are a negative friend? Here’s a few signs to look out for:

 

• You find it hard keeping friends

• You make plans knowing you’ll cancel them

• You don’t check in first or see how your friends are doing

• Most conversations are about you

• They don’t come to you for emotional support

 

Now, some of these signs may not be down to your own negativity. For example, you may not check in first with your friends because it used to always be you initiating contact. In that case, you wouldn’t necessarily be a negative friend.

 

Many people find it hard to keep friends. However, if you generally find it easy to make friends and not keep them, there may be a problem. Assess your friendships, including those from the past. Is there a pattern and could it be down to your negativity?

 

Life gets busy and it isn’t always easy to keep in touch with friends. However, if you literally never contact anyone first, this is a sign you are a negative friend. Remember, friendships are a two-way street. Your friends need to know you care about them too. 

Similarly, if you make plans knowing you’ll cancel them, and make all conversations about you, these are also negative friend traits. 

 

The Impact Negativity Has on Friendships

 

So, why is it important to be a more positive friend? The main one is that negativity can literally kill friendships. Nobody wants to be around somebody who is constantly negative. It brings down their mood, leading them to feel more depressed or drained after they have been around you. 

 

Another way negativity impacts friendships, is that it is bad for the heart. Studies have shown that negative friendships affect our heart health. So, you could unintentionally be causing your friends health issues with your constant negativity. These are just some of the problems you can cause if you are a negative friend.

 

When you bring negativity into your friendships, you won’t have strong relationships. Healthy friendships are important for our health and wellbeing. So, if you do identify as a negative friend, now’s the time to start working on adjusting your mindset. It might not be easy; but, doing so will ensure you have much healthier and happier friendships.

5 Tips To Stop Avoiding Your Problems

According to VeryWellMind,"Procrastination, passive-aggressiveness, and rumination are examples of unhelpful coping mechanisms that we may consciously or unconsciously use to avoid tackling a tough issue or facing thoughts and feelings that are uncomfortable."

 

The world is a difficult place. Things are moving quicker than ever before, and issues appear to erupt from nowhere. Each day, we fight a plethora of conflicts, and it's all too easy to become exhausted. 

 

The turmoil might drive a person to flee from the troubles they are experiencing. Regrettably, if you strive to do this all the time, you'll spend your whole life running and hiding from your problems. 

 

They will ultimately sneak up to you. So, how can we successfully tackle our issues and move toward a future where we are no longer afraid of them? Here are some ideas to help you quit running away from your troubles.

 

1. Divide Your Problems Into Tiny Steps

 

Greenberg, author of the book The Stress-Proof Brain, advises working through the easiest phases first after splitting the problem into manageable sections. 

 

She gives the following example when you are putting off looking for a new job. You divide this large process into "updating your résumé, finding and contacting references, studying the positions you desire, speaking with individuals you know who work in the field, and so on."

 

2. Make Use Of Your Support System

 

Our support network is an underappreciated asset. Do you feel alone? Do you feel overwhelmed by your problems and cannot find an anchor? Do you get the impression that no one cares about you and that no one is eager to assist you? 

 

If you do, you should have a look around. I am confident that there is someone who would be delighted to assist you in overcoming this obstacle. Remember that we encounter a slew of issues on a daily basis. There is no need for you to believe that you must solve all of them on your own. This might lead to feelings of stress, which can contribute to you fleeing from your problems.

 

If your support system is lacking then get to work! Reach out and create one that works for you. 

 

3. Make A Plan

 

According to Lifehack, “If you’re asking yourself how to stop running away from problems, one thing to think about is whether or not you have a plan. Have you thought about how you’ll tackle the issue? Often, we run from our problems because we don’t know how to solve them. However, just because we don’t know how to confront the issue right now and it seems overwhelming, doesn’t mean that we can’t spend some time to process it and come up with a solution. Taking some time to learn about the problem and how others have overcome it in the past is a great way to start. Wherever you go for information, make sure that your sources are accurate."

 

4. Make Yourself Accountable

 

For example, if you're attempting to better manage your spending and food intake, you should keep track of how much you eat you're spending and what you're spending it on. 

 

Ask others to help you be accountable. Share your goals with others and the steps you are taking to work through your problems. Ask these people to keep an eye out and ask you about your progress. And make sure that you update them about your progress on your own. 

 

5. Running Away Is Not A Viable Long-Term Solution

 

This is most likely the most crucial aspect of learning how to quit running away from issues. It's admitting that fleeing isn't a long-term option. And no matter what time or far you flee, you can never really run from your problems. 

 

Running away from problems is a common way for us to try to avoid them; it's a protective strategy. Running, however, does not completely shield us from anything. Avoidance solves none of our problems. It has never done so in the past, and it will never do so in the future. 

 

Facing our problems is the only way to solve them. This may take time, courage, effort and commitment, but in the end, they are solved and no longer a burden on your emotional and mental health. And, as an added super bonus, overcoming those problems helps you to build inner strength and resilience.