Active Listening: A Task More Difficult Than Public Speaking

Active listening is the ability of a person to focus their attention on the speaker, to process and absorb what that person is saying, and to respond thoughtfully. It is about really paying attention to what the speaker is saying, rather than daydreaming, worrying about the to-do list, or focusing on what you are going to say next. 

 

Active listening is going to be different than what most people do, which is passive listening. With passive listening, you kind of hear the person in the background, but you do not absorb what they are saying that well. 

 

The goal of active listening is to fully pay attention to what the speaker is telling you. You will look at some of their verbal cues, their nonverbal cues, and listen to them rather than paying attention to some of the other things that are on your mind. It includes asking a lot of questions to learn more about what they want to share, getting clarification and digging deeper when necessary. 

 

There will be some talking when you use active listening. But the listening has to come first. When you actively listen to the other person, you will have a better idea of what they are trying to share, and some of the hidden meanings that are there. And this makes it easier to give a response that will work well with what that person was telling to you, rather than making the conversation go off on a tangent. 

 

Active listening is something that takes time to learn. Too many of us focus on passive listening or are focusing on what is important to us at the time. This is a habit that we need to get out of and since it is lifelong, it is hard to break. Trying a little bit at a time will make a difference and can help you to really have some of the meaningful conversations that you want. 

 

When it comes to having a good conversation with other people, you need to start utilizing active listening. Even trying it a little bit can be enough to make the conversation flow more and helps make the other person feel like you value them more than before. It is a hard habit to learn, but by being empathetic, focusing on the speaker rather than yourself, and practicing, you will get this skill down in no time. 

 

5 Celebrities Who Overcame Their Fear Of Public Speaking

Public speaking can be nerve wracking for everyone. It is normal to feel nervous when it is time to do a presentation or get up in front of people. You may feel like you are the only one who gets nervous with public speaking, but many celebrities also have the same fear. 

 

It is hard to imagine. The people who get up on the screen and give amazing performances that leave us in awe have trouble speaking in front of others too? It’s true! Celebrities can struggle with speaking in front of other people too. Some of the celebrities who have overcome their fear of public speaking include:

 

1.  Rowan Atkinson: Known as playing Mr. Bean, Atkinson finds himself uncomfortable when it is time to speak in public. This can often be seen when he appears on talk shows. To help handle this, many of his characters overcome problems with speaking and he has even stepped forward to discuss the importance of freedom of speech in our country. 

2.  Tiger Woods: Tiger Woods has had trouble with public speaking as well. He uses one of the best techniques to help with this problem though; practicing. He says that before bed, he practices to his dog, who is always a great audience. 

3.  Sir Richard Branson: Though he is known for daring adventures and lots of fun, he does get nervous any time he has to go on stage. To help with this, he starts with a Q&A session to ease into it. 

4.  Thomas Jefferson: Fears of public speaking have been around for years. According to historical documents, Jefferson struggled with this as well. He tended to focus more on his great writing abilities to compensate for his issues with speaking in public. 

5.  Adele: While Adele is known for her amazing singing chops, she does have anxiety when she needs to perform in public. She has been able to overcome some of these fears and become a world-known singer. 

 

Public speaking is something that everyone can be worried about and can give anxiety to anyone. It doesn’t matter if you are giving a speech in front of your class or to a worldwide audience, everyone will feel nervous and anxious at some point. Recognizing the fear and learning how to compensate for it to gain more confidence can help put that fear of public speaking on the backburner. 

 

Why Is Public Speaking Important?

Public speaking is something that can make a lot of people nervous. They would much rather find anything else to do with their time rather than give a big speech to others. But there are actually a lot of benefits to public speaking. It is actually one of the most important, and most dreaded, skills that someone should have. 

 

So, why is public speaking so important?

 

To Win Over a Crowd

 

Whether you are a business leader looking to get funding, an employee trying to get a job, or in public relations and trying to reach a lot of people, public speaking is a good skill to have. When done well, it can be used to help win over any crowd that you would like, big or small. To win them over though, you need to present the audience with a compelling argument. And you need to bring in the whole package. It is not enough to just say a few words; you have to make it an experience. Good public speaking skills can help with this. 

 

To Motivate Others

 

A person who is great at public speaking is able to use some of those skills to motivate their audience to make a change. There has to be something special in the delivery though. The audience will not change simply because you told them to. You need to have a good presentation behind you and be a confident public speaker along the way. Being knowledgeable and having the ability to arouse passion can be important here.

 

To Inform

 

The ability to inform is an important part of public speaking. Many public speaking events are done in order to inform and help people learn things, especially if you are doing the presentation for class. Learning how to be a good public speaker will help you to get your information across so you can make a big impact. Having good knowledge of the topic and being a charismatic speaker can go a long way to help with this. 

 

While many people do not like public speaking at all and may try to avoid it at all costs, it is an important thing to learn how to do. It can help you to persuade, to convince people to follow your advice, and to inform others as well. With some practice and doing it more often, you will find that public speaking is a good skill to know. 

 

3 Irrational Reasons Why We Don’t Negotiate

Why is it so hard to ask for what we want?

 

We see other people do it all the time. Someone else gets a better deal on a car or really nails that raise. Life looks good for everyone else, while we’re the ones who seem to be going nowhere fast.

 

Why is this? Is everyone else just better at negotiating?

 

The reality is, if you’re not getting what you want, you’re probably not asking. In fact, about 2/3 of the population will not negotiate in a given situation, though it’s not for the reason you think. It isn’t opportunity holding you back, it’s fear. But can we truly be blamed? Fear can be a powerful motivator.

 

Let’s look at some of the irrational reasons why we don’t negotiate.

 

“I might be rejected.”

 

No one likes to hear “no.” In fact, it’s such a strong dislike, people will go way out of their way to avoid this kind of response. It’s why people break out in a cold sweat when they think about proposing to their special someone or would rather do just about anything to avoid asking for a favor. In the world of negotiation, this can be especially daunting because a ‘no’ here means you don’t get what you’re angling for. How do you get past this? Tell yourself it’s okay to hear ‘no.’ You won’t get what you want if you don’t ask, so you’ve got nothing to lose. 

 

“What will they think of me?”

 

Afraid you’re going to look bad if you ask? Our image is everything. Not wanting to look miserly or too much like you’re taking unfair advantage are reasonable worries. On the other hand, we tend to be our own harshest critics. Will the other person really look at you differently for asking? A salesman isn’t going to think twice about your asking, and your boss may respect you more for having the guts to ask. In the end, the more important question is, what will you think of you if you don’t ask?

 

“What if I screw this up?”

 

Nothing makes us kick ourselves more than the idea of losing an opportunity. On the other hand, if you don’t ask, you might be missing out on an even better opportunity. 

 

While these fears are irrational, there is some truth to the idea you need to think before you speak. Paying attention to who you’re dealing with should give you a feel for when to throw caution to the wind. In the end, even a missed opportunity isn’t the end of the world. There are always new things around the corner. Don’t let fear rule your life. You’re really braver than you think.

 

6 Steps to Negotiating Your Salary Like a Boss

Think back to the last job you got. What happened when they offered you the position?

 

If you took the salary offered, don’t feel bad. Approximately 60% of the population does (with the numbers higher if you happen to be a woman). What most people don’t realize is just how much leeway there can be in the amount they’re offered. In fact, most people who put themselves out there will actually gain a higher salary than initially offered. Some statistics state as much as $5,000 more a year!

 

With facts like that, learning how to negotiate a higher salary becomes crucial. Try these steps the next time you’re in this position, whether taking a new job or trying for a higher raise during your annual review.

 

Know the Base Pay Going In

 

If you’re not sure how much the position is typically worth, how are you going to know if you’re being offered a fair salary? Do online research before you even go into the interview. Have some idea what is typically paid for people in this position. 

 

Consider the Extras

 

It might be you’re not looking for more money so much as you’d like to see other bonuses such as extra days off, a better insurance package, or other benefits. Decide before you even start negotiations what perks are essential to you.

 

Try Outside Help

 

If you’re looking for a new employer, using a recruiter or headhunter might help you to gain a better salary range than you would on your own. They can also give you an idea of your value if you’re looking to renegotiate your salary where you are now.

 

What About Your Past Performances?

 

When talking salary, discussing your accomplishments reminds the potential employer of your value. This can be tricky to navigate, as most people don’t want to sound like they’re boasting. On the other hand, too much modesty won’t get you where you want to go either. Aim for somewhere in the middle for the best success.

 

Play Hardball

 

If you feel like you’re being severely undervalued, there comes a time when you need to stick up for yourself. Let the employer know you won’t do it for less than [insert specific amount you can live with.] If your skillset is particularly valuable, you’d be surprised at how often this works, or at least opens the door for further negotiation.

 

Use the Bottom Line

 

How have you saved the company money in the past, or increased sales? Money talks. Details like this go a long way toward reminding the employer of your value.

 

6 Tactics to Negotiate the Best Deal Possible

Nothing is absolute. When it comes to getting what you want, whether it’s the deal you’re trying to close or the car you’re buying, nothing is set in stone. You really can negotiate just about everything. 

 

Think about that a minute. You don’t have to pay the price listed whether you’re in a store shopping or talking to a vendor at a flea market. In fact, with the right tactics, you can negotiate the best deal possible, no matter where you are. 

Here are some tips to get you started:

 

Never Bother the Salesperson

 

To negotiate, you need to start with whoever is at the top. This means asking to speak to the store owner or the manager. The person in charge is the only one with the power to give you what you want. There’s no point in wasting time with anyone who doesn’t have the power to make a decision.

 

Put on Your Game Face

 

If you’re gushing about the product, you’ve already lost any power you might have had in the negotiation. A good poker face is essential. Never let on just how important something is to you.

 

Let Them Bid First

 

Negotiating is a game of back and forth. The trick? Never be the one to make the first move. Let them offer the opening price before making your offer. Then once you’ve put in your bid, wait for them to respond with a counteroffer before bidding again. Why? If you make the first bid, you might inadvertently start at a higher price than they were considering. Also, by taking turns, you never wind-up bidding against yourself, a tactic guaranteed to end in failure.

 

Lighten Up

 

Laugh. Smile. Keep things from getting too serious. Good negotiation happens when everyone is relaxed and enjoying themselves. This also has the benefit of keeping you from appearing too serious. If they think you’re not interested, they might offer up a better deal.

 

Try Email

 

Negotiating through another medium such as email slows down the process considerably and gives you time to really think about what you’re doing. It also provides a detailed record of the entire negotiation, so everyone is clear on the expectations and what the parameters of the final deal are.

 

Find a Training Ground

 

Wanting to negotiate something big and important like the purchase of a house or car? Spend some time practicing the art of negotiation. Flea markets, garage sales, and farmer’s markets are all great places to hone your skills. While there, watch how other people do it for additional insight.

 

In the end, you’ll be amazed at just how easy it is to learn how to negotiate to get what you want. With a little practice, you’ll be surprised at just how far you can go! 

 

7 Tips for Negotiating a Raise During Your Annual Review

It’s that time again. Are you ready? Most people look at their annual review with about as much anticipation as one would a root canal. No one truly enjoys the recital of the year’s successes, or worse, the failures. 

 

The worst part? The part of the conversation where money becomes the focal point of the discussion. In fact, more people dread this aspect of the review so much that they’ll take whatever is offered by way of raise without so much as a murmur.

 

While you’re certainly being agreeable enough, did you know you might be leaving money on the table? In fact, your annual review is the perfect place to negotiate a raise, setting yourself up for a significant earnings increase.

 

Here’s how to do it:

 

Document Everything

 

Your preparation for this moment should have started in the days following your last annual review. If you’ve done your homework, you’ve kept a record of what work you’ve accomplished, and all projects you’ve been part of, along with a list of your personal contributions to each. Weren’t quite prepared enough? Sit down and recreate as much of this material as you can in the days leading up to your review (and remember to start documenting for next year immediately afterward).

 

Know the Numbers

 

How much are others in your position earning, keeping in mind your experience and what part of the country you live in? Don’t know? Find out online. Knowledge is power.

 

Keep Your Ear to the Ground

 

How are other people’s reviews going? Listen for word about whether the expected raises were more or less for this year. 

 

What is Your Dollar Amount?

 

Using the information you have now, have a figure in mind going into the meeting. What amount would you like to see for the coming year?

 

Hold Your Ground

 

Once you’re in the meeting, don’t be afraid to use the information you’ve brought to the table to make your case. No matter what, don’t be combative, belligerent, emotional, or otherwise negative in your approach. Simply state the facts and go from there.

 

Ask for a Plan

 

Still got a ‘no’? Talk to your employer about what needs to happen to gain the desired level of salary. Make a timeline and ask for another review somewhere down the road to revisit the issue after you’ve made those changes.

 

Make it Official

 

Once you have a plan in place (or better yet, a promise of a raise) make sure you have the details in writing. This doesn’t have to be some long official document. Even a quick memo sent to HR and your boss should suffice. Make sure to include any details that came out in the discussion.

 

7 Tips to Become a More Successful Negotiator

Who’s looking out for you?

 

In a world where getting what you want is entirely up to you, being a skilled negotiator is crucial to your success, whether you’re angling for a raise or trying to get an outstanding deal on a used car. Sadly, negotiation isn’t one of those skills we’re taught as children. The good news is, it’s never too late to learn how to be a more successful negotiator. You can start with these simple tips:

 

Do Your Research

 

Before you do anything else, you need to know the facts about what you’re negotiating for. If you think your job is worth a raise, first look up what the salary generally is for your position. If you’re looking at a used car, find out what other cars of that make and model typically go for. A little knowledge goes a long way.

 

Listen

 

A negotiation takes two people, both of whom generally want something. Start paying attention early on to what the other person is saying. Getting a feel for where they’re coming from will be to your advantage. 

 

Speak Up

 

Never be afraid to ask for what you want. The trick is to remember there’s a fine line between being assertive and aggressive. Be careful about how strong you’re coming on.

 

Take Your Time

 

The temptation is to close the deal quickly and to take what you can get. Here’s where you need to pull back a little. It’s okay to take time to think about the offer. You also will want to go over the terms and conditions carefully before making a final decision. 

 

Know When to Step Back

 

Remember, you can always walk out of the negotiation. Stick to your guns, especially when you know you’re in the right. When you’re willing to leave the table if you’re terms aren’t met, it shows you mean business.

 

No Weakness

 

The minute you start thinking of the other person as a bigger and stronger opponent, you’ve already lost. This is not the place to show weakness. Instead of worrying about your own shortcomings, concentrate on theirs. How can you use that information?

 

Remember the Give and Take

 

Don’t give up points unless you’re getting something in return. When you concede too much, you’re building up your opponent and setting a poor precedent for future negotiation.

 

Remember the trick is not to let things get personal. At the end of the day, if you knew what you wanted and feel like you looked out for yourself, and then you’ve come out a winner.

 

7 Ways to Negotiate a Lower Price on Anything

There are certain places where you’re almost expected to negotiate. No one goes into a car dealership expecting to pay the sticker price. Places like flea markets and rummage sales actually price things with the idea of negotiating built-in. But did you know you can negotiate a lower price on almost anything?

 

Read on to find out how. 

 

Figure Out the Details

 

When doing your homework, ask these four questions:

 

1) What’s the usual asking price?

2) Why is this person selling?

3) What is the seller cost? 

4) What are other people selling this for?

 

When you want to negotiate, having this kind of knowledge is power. Here’s where you find the vulnerabilities and figure out just how hard you can push. 

 

Make Them Speak First

 

When you’re ready to negotiate, don’t say anything until you get their asking price. It might be the figure in your head is higher than the number in theirs. Once you have this number, you now have something to work with as you make your counteroffer.

 

Bid Low…REALLY Low

 

Don’t look for the middle ground when making your counteroffer. Go much lower than you think you want to pay. The natural inclination is for the next person to make an offer by deciding a number between the two offered. By calculating this carefully, you’ll wind up paying either what you were hoping for, or if you’re fortunate, even less than you’d initially thought you would.

 

Figure Out the Limits

 

Did you do your homework? If so, you probably already have an idea on just how low the other person can go. They typically can’t drop below cost, no matter what. 

 

Shut Up

 

Consider using silence as a negotiation tool. When you don’t respond immediately to their offer, the other person will generally get a little nervous. They might start talking to fill up space. They also might begin making concessions. 

 

Add Some Add-Ons

 

Still not happy with the final price? See what else they can throw in for free to sweeten the deal. You’ll be amazed at the extras you can pick up.

 

Leave

 

No one wants to lose a sale. The moment you start heading for the door, the other person starts to worry. They might call you back to give you what you want after all. Use caution, however, as you have to mean it when you leave. There’s no going back once you employ this tactic.

 

Overall, it’s not hard to get what you want from someone else, provided you’re willing to stand your ground and play a little hardball. Keep in mind, though, this kind of negotiation should also be fun. Looking at things as a game will help you to keep your perspective and not take it personally if things don’t wind up going your way.

 

10 Expert Tips for Negotiating in Today’s Business Environment

The heart of business lies in negotiation. Whether you’re trying to close on a sale or get yourself included on a plush project that could make your career, knowing how to get people to listen to you is crucial to your success. 

 

How do you go about getting what you want? Read on for some expert tips for negotiating in today’s business environment.

 

Challenge the Status Quo

 

You start by being assertive. Remember, everything is open to negotiation. You need to step out in confidence and be able to express your needs, while never losing sight of the fact that you have the right to ask for anything. 

 

Listen

 

You’d be amazed how much more people are willing to go to bat for you if you only do them the courtesy of listening to what they have to say. More important, by letting the other person do the talking, you’ll find out everything you need to know to handle the negotiation. 

 

Research

 

Know what the other person needs before going in. Have settled in your own mind the value and worth of what you’re negotiating for. This information will help you to find the middle ground where agreement can be reached.

 

Walk Away

 

Be willing to end negotiations if things aren’t going well. Don’t be hammered into a deal you’re going to regret. Also, by terminating the negotiation, you show the other person what your values are worth.

 

Slow Down

 

There’s no need to rush. Take time to think through the options. 

 

Aim High

 

Oddly enough, you’ll have better success when you ask for something big. 

 

Know the Competition

 

Understanding what the other side needs will always work in your favor. Keep your focus there. How can you take advantage of their worries and frustrations?

 

Look for the Mutual Benefit

 

If you can find the solution that’s beneficial to the person you’re negotiating with, as well as yourself, you’re sure to have success. Find out how your resolution can best meet their needs, then be sure to point that out.

 

Remember the Give and Take

 

If you give up anything in the negotiation, make sure you’re getting something in return for it. The deal has to be fair on both sides, or it’s not worth taking.

 

Keep an Emotional Distance

 

Remember, success or failure is never about you. Nothing that happens in business should ever be personal.

 

By following these tips, you’re sure to experience success in whatever negotiation you face in the business world.