5 Steps to Embracing Your Loneliness

Loneliness is something most people try to avoid. But being alone is an inevitable part of life. It happens to everyone at some time or another. It is important to be able to separate solitude from loneliness and to understand what is behind your feelings so you can embrace being alone.

 

1. Work Out the Root Cause of Your Fear of Loneliness

 

Some scientists believe loneliness is a basic emotion on a par with fear and anger. For millions of years, survival relied on being part of a group; being alone was risky. But now, a fear of loneliness can keep us in toxic relationships, unfulfilling jobs, and bad marriages. Identify what’s behind your fear of loneliness, and you can start to work on it. 

2. Learn to Understand your Loneliness

 

Loneliness comes in many different guises. It can be temporary situational loneliness where you find yourself without company or help. Or you can be going through a life crisis that results in more extended social isolation. A relationship breakdown, losing your job, or being seriously ill can all make you feel completely cut off from love and support. 

 

3. Appreciate Solitude

 

Solitude is quite a different state from loneliness. Artists, philosophers, and writers over the centuries have sought out solitude to think deeply and widely and to create their best work. Solitude can be a comfort in an overcrowded life. When you are by yourself, you can expand into being your true self. 

 

4. Confront your Deepest Fears

 

Loneliness can be a product of the fundamental fear of separation that goes back to infancy. Separation means being vulnerable, having no one to rely on except yourself. This is the loneliness that realizes that in the end, there is nothing between you and the stars, no one to rescue you. That sort of existential fear can be scary. What are your deepest fears about being lonely? Identify them, acknowledge them, and take away some of their power over you. 

 

5. Use Self-Actualizing Practices to Overcome Loneliness

 

Techniques like yoga, tai chi, and meditation can help you reconnect with your deepest self. Sitting alone in meditation separates you from the negative thought spirals and feelings that can make you feel so miserable. 

 

A loving-kindness meditation practice can help you replace feelings of separation with feelings of love and connection. Give it a try:

 

• Sit quietly and focus on your breath. 

• Breathe in, think ‘May I be happy.’

• Breathe out, think ‘May I be loved.’

• Breathe in, think ‘May all my suffering be healed.’

• Breathe out, think ‘May I be at peace.’

 

Eventually, repeat the mantra, thinking of people who may be lonely at this time, replacing ‘I’ with ‘you.’

 

Finish by sending positive thoughts to all beings and repeating ‘May all beings be happy. May all beings be loved. May the suffering of all beings be healed. May all beings be at peace.’

 

This simple practice helps you feel connected to all of life whenever you do it.

 

5 Ways to Ensure Loneliness Doesn’t Turn into Depression

Everyone feels lonely from time to time. It’s a normal part of the human experience. But some people are more vulnerable to slipping from loneliness into depression. Or there can be hard times in your life when feeling lonely is only one step away from isolation and depression. 

 

People who are at risk of depression typically feel isolated and lonely; they have low self-esteem that can easily tip into more extreme feelings of self-blame and guilt, even self-disgust. And these negative thought patterns can lead to full-blown depression. If you’re having bad feelings about yourself, feeling lonely and worthless, here are some things you can do to head off the risk of depression. 

 

1. Boost Your Social Support Network

 

Isolation increases the tendency to self-blame. Connection and social contact can go a long way to helping you alleviate your loneliness and get a different perspective on the world. Reach out to friends, colleagues, and family to increase the positive connections in your life. 

 

2. Practice Mindfulness

 

Mindfulness helps you deal with what is in front of you right now. Developing a mindfulness practice can help you accept your thoughts and feelings without judgment. Simply by observing what is happening around you, focusing on what you can see, hear, feel, smell, and taste will help you break out of your negative thought patterns. 

 

3. Practice Self-Compassion

 

People who are caught up in feelings of negative self-worth are often extremely hard on themselves. Allow yourself a little imperfection. Be kind and change that internal monologue to one less punitive. 

 

4. Change Your Self-Talk

 

Have a look at your internal soundtrack. Are you full of self-recrimination? Do you magnify your flaws and faults? Now, would you talk to a friend like that? Rewrite that script into something more positive and self-affirming. If that is too hard to think about right now, try some of the books, apps, or websites that offer affirmations.

 

5. Use Emotional Reappraisal to Boost Your Self-Esteem

 

With a little practice, you can learn techniques to regulate your feelings and turn your self-esteem around. Depression often manifests in ruminating on the negatives in your life. You can use this focus to your advantage when you practice reappraisal.

 

Reappraisal is a cognitive-behavioral technique that allows you to reframe negative thoughts, flipping them to a more positive view. Instead of feeling paralyzed and crushed by life, you can take back control and develop more resilience. 

 

7 Types of Loneliness According to Psychologists

Loneliness is something you can’t avoid in life. There will be times when you feel lonesome, and you can live a happier life if you learn how to deal with it when it happens. To make that an easier process, psychologists have identified seven different types of loneliness.

 

1. ‘New Kid’ Loneliness

 

Like being the new kid at school, there are times in your life when you’re in a completely new situation. Whether it’s a new job, a new city, or a new school, you’re likely to feel lonely in the beginning.

 

2. Not Fitting in Loneliness

 

This is the loneliness that strikes when you feel different from the people around you. You may be an introvert in a team of extroverts. Maybe your values aren’t shared with the people around you. You feel separate and different. 

 

3. Lack of Romance Loneliness

 

When you don’t have a partner, it can seem like everyone else in the entire world has a significant other. Or maybe you do have a partner, but you feel disconnected. That’s lonely. 

 

4. Missing a Pet Loneliness

 

There’s no company like that of your pet. Maybe you’re missing your dog, cat, or gerbil. Pets can provide a special connection, and when it’s not there, you really miss it. 

 

5. Too Busy for Me Loneliness

 

There are times in your life when it feels like you’re not a priority for anyone. People get busy with their own lives and leave you feeling stranded and alone. 

 

6. Toxic Fringes Loneliness

 

Worse than busy friends are toxic ‘friends’ who get their energy from belittling you or making you feel inadequate. If you don’t feel supported by your friends, or you feel you can't really trust them, they are not good friends to have in your life. 

 

7. Lack of Company Loneliness

 

Sometimes loneliness can come simply from not having anyone to hang out with. Someone just to share space and be with. It doesn’t matter if you’re busy at work or are out partying every night. A lack of a quiet presence can make you feel deeply lonely. 

 

Once you've worked out what type of loneliness you’re feeling right now, you can take steps to address it. For example, if you’re missing having an animal in your life, you can adopt a pet or volunteer at the local animal rescue center. 

 

Make time in your life for meaningful relationships, not the ones that don’t feed your soul. Look for people you share values or interests with, and slowly you will make connections that will banish loneliness. 

 

Are You Curious About Meditation?

Unless you've been living under a rock, you've probably heard about meditation, its different practices, and the various health and mental benefits of meditating and for good reason. It's been in the news frequently, there are plenty of books, apps, audio recordings, and classes about meditation out there, and you may have become curious about this ancient technique that's making a comeback in modern times. Let's explore what you can do to learn more about meditation and most importantly, how to give it a try. 

 

Learning More About Meditation

 

The internet is a great place to start looking for more information about meditation. It may be how you discovered what you’re reading right now. You'll find plenty of information about meditation, its long history, the various forms of it, and of course some direction and instructions for getting started. This isn’t a bad place to start. You’ll get the basics and enough information to dip your toes in with a simple meditation practice. 

 

You can also find a lot of great books about meditation. Head on over to Amazon, your local bookstore, or the library and pick up a book or two on meditation. There are also some great apps out there with guided meditations. Search for meditation in your phone’s app store.

 

How To Start Meditating

 

You can find some simple guided meditations online, as audio recordings and the likes. Another great option is, of course, the apps I mentioned. They are a great source of guided meditation and the apps will help you increase your meditation time as you go along. They are a great starting point. From there you can explore other options like breathing meditations for example. 

 

One of the simplest forms of meditation is to become aware of your breath. Sit comfortably, calm your mind, and focus all your attention and conscious thought on breathing in and out. It’s harder than it sounds and takes a bit of practice, but once you get comfortable with this particular exercise, it’s a form of meditation you can do anytime, anywhere. 

 

Above all, I encourage you to look into meditation and give it a try. It's a wonderful way to combat stress, improve your quality of life and do something positive for your mental and physical health. Try it and see if meditation is right for you. If you don’t particularly enjoy guided meditation, try chanting, transcendental meditation, or breathing meditations. There are so many different traditions and practices out there. If you keep an open mind, I’m sure you’ll find the one that’s right for you. 

 

Establishing Strong Meditation Habits

Creating new habits isn’t easy and getting into the habit of meditating regularly is no different. Yet taking the time to establish this habit of daily meditation has so many benefits that carry into all aspects of your life. You’ll feel calmer and more collected. You’ll be able to concentrate better, show more patience, and live in the moment. Meditation is even good for your health and can help reduce stress. In short, making meditation a habit is a very good idea. 

 

Here are a few tips to help you get there. 

 

Make It Part Of Your Routine 

 

It’s much easier to create a new habit when you make it part of your daily routine. This is why meditating first thing in the morning works so well. Your daily meditation becomes part of what you do to get ready in the morning. Try meditating after you get out of the shower or even before you get out of bed in the morning. Set your alarm to go off 10 minutes earlier and start your day with a short meditation session. Since it is part of an already established routine, it will quickly become a habit. 

 

Stick To The Same Time And Set An Alert 

 

If including your daily meditation practice into an existing routine isn’t an option, make a new one. It’s helpful to stick to roughly the same time each day when establishing a new habit. In the beginning, you may find it difficult to get into the swing of things so set an alert on your phone to remind you to meditate.

 

Another helpful tip is to commit to this new meditation habit for 30 days. Check them off on a calendar and do what you can not to miss a day. At the end of the 30 days, you will have started to establish the new habit and sticking to it going forward will be much easier. 

 

There’s An App For That 

 

Last but not least, consider using a meditation app. You can find them in the app store for your favorite mobile device and most of them are free to try. The basic version may be just what you need to start establishing the meditation habit. The apps keep things interesting with new guided meditations for each day and let you track your progress. It will also remind you to meditate with an alert on your phone. Give it a try and see if using an app helps you establish a strong meditation habit.

 

How To Start Meditating

Getting started with meditation is a lot easier than you may think. There isn’t any special equipment you need to buy or classes you should be taking. While buying a book, a guided meditation audio recording or an app for your smartphone are certainly options, you don’t even have to do that to get started. I’ll share everything you need to know to get started meditating right here in this post. 

 

Start by getting comfortable in a spot that’s as free of distractions as possible. You want to sit down either on a chair with your feet firmly planted on the ground, or sitting cross-legged on the floor. If you sit on the floor, you’ll be more comfortable if you sit on a cushion. It’s important that you can sit in whatever position you choose comfortably and that you’re keeping your back straight. Slumping may make you sleepy while you meditate, and bad posture may cause you discomfort after a while. 

 

Before we start with the actual meditation, let’s get back to distractions. In the beginning, you want to cut as many of them out as possible. Choose a quiet spot where no one will interrupt you. Turn off the ringer on your phone, close the blinds if you think it will help to create a calm and soothing space. You won’t always have to go through all this trouble to meditate because, after a little practice, you’ll be able to do the little meditation exercise I’m about to share with you anytime, anywhere. But like any new skill, meditating can be a little hard in the beginning. It sounds simple enough, but it’s easy to get distracted. That’s why it’s important to set yourself up for success by cutting out any distractions you can. 

 

Here’s how to meditate. Sit down, close your eyes, and focus on your breath. Notice how the air flows in and out of your nose and mouth. Try to think of nothing else. This is the hard part and something that takes practice. Start meditating for a few minutes here and there and increase the time as you move along. Don’t judge yourself when your thoughts stray. Keep bringing yourself back to the sensation of the breath anytime you notice that you’re thinking of something else. 

 

That’s all there’s to it. Getting started with meditation is simple, but like any new skill, it takes practice. Be patient with yourself. Be kind to yourself. Stick with it and keep practicing these new meditation skills. You’ll be glad you did.

 

How to Deal With a Difficult Emotion Using Mindfulness

Mindfulness has a great many uses and is often prescribed by self-help gurus, doctors, writers and others as a tool anyone can use to improve their mental health.

 

Often these focusses on the long-term benefits of being more present and aware. At the same time though, mindfulness can also be used like a scalpel to deal with more acute problems. Here we will look at how it can be leveraged for instance to tackle specific emotions as they arise.

 

Turning Towards Emotions

 

Normally when we experience negative emotions, we react either by trying to ‘fight them’ or by trying to suppress them. This can be described as almost ‘turning away’ from our emotions to try and deny them their power over us.

 

Unfortunately, this ultimately tends to result in our becoming more stressed or upset as the emotions bubble under the surface, or as we frustrate ourselves in trying to fight them.

 

Instead, though, mindfulness teaches us to turn towards our emotions. What this means, is that you are going to listen to the thoughts and feelings you’re experiencing and then simply acknowledge them. Now you say ‘I am stressed’, ‘I am embarrassed’ or ‘I am upset’. Don’t be ashamed or upset that emotion exists but simply recognize that you are currently in that state.

 

People get upset sometimes. People get angry sometimes. But if you’re simply aware of your condition, then you can be aware that perhaps the thoughts you’re thinking aren’t completely objective. What’s more, you should keep hold of the knowledge that emotions aren’t permanent. In other words, you’re feeling angry right now and as such your thoughts shouldn’t be taken too seriously. But in a few hours, you will likely feel better and then the world will seem like a brighter place again.

 

This creates a subtle but powerful shift. No longer is the world a terrible place and thus you are upset, now you are upset and thus the world seems like a terrible place. The difference is that you now know that belief is not true.

 

Debriefing

 

What’s more, being aware and accepting of your emotions in this way will allow you to assess them in a kind of ‘debriefing’ and to look at what triggered them, how you dealt with them and what they made you think and do. The more you break down and intellectualize your emotions, the more you will find you gain control over them.

The Smart Way To Smarter Brain 4 (Infographic)

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The Smart Way To Smarter Brain 2 (Infographic)

 

The Smart Way To Smarter Brain 1 (Infographic)

Get Private Time and Emotional Purity

We often feel that firm concentration is more likely when we are alone. Many of us need private time and emotional transparency to visualize our goals and eventually materialize them. You must have observed that the degree of self-assurance rises when no one is examining you and even if you falter somewhere you have the courage to get up again and get started. There is nothing wrong in getting some lone time to be able to focus and indulge in exercises like meditation and deep breathing for mental cleanliness. Emotional purity helps you to discharge all disparaging notions and off-putting deliberation patterns.

 

Feeding your mind with constructive thoughts is essential in generating positive emotions and eventually, superior results. Even as you find some private time, try to practice yoga and breathing exercises and avoid a background where noisy music or TV is played. Relax your mind by closing your eyes and focusing hard on that one point you badly want in life. Pour all optimistic energies on to that point and tune your internal desires and dreams. When attempting to focus your brains, a practical idea is to be seated or lie down in a calm place, unwind, and run through those notions that are connected to your objective, like the scenes in a film.

 

We need to focus on our vision and imagination each day through this straightforward process. Some people have countless thoughts which are why they do not seem to evidently absorb on the focal point. The pessimistic mental clogs seem to hinder the process and until you let go of them, no resolution is going to help. That blurry picture of negative thoughts is repeatedly going to come back and disfigure the image of helpful emotions. So, unless you find personal time and tranquillity to release all negative energy and forget past failures, none of your goals will be accomplished.

 

Make Your Brain Work Faster Than Ever

It is evenly important to exercise the brain like other body parts. If your brain is not energized then it is apparent that you start losing focus. Nevertheless, when you learn the facts you will be provoked to involve yourself in activities that train your brain. These activities are simply one of the finest ways to invigorate a weary brain, build focus and rouse it simultaneously. Constant worry can influence the brain in a multiplicity of unhelpful ways and is a massive problem for scores of people. You can keep your mind sharp by keeping it lively. It is said by neurological experts that the brain keeps changing and learning irrespective of age. Truthfully, as we turn older our subconscious skills tend to diminish, lowering our concentration power.

 

As you grow, have you noticed that it is difficult to recollect certain details in a book as you finish reading it? It happens when you find it hard to pay notice to things going on around you as your brain is having obscurity staying focused on a task. People who often indulge in multi tasking experience a hard time keeping focused on one task when the need crops up. Such people have automated their mind to do a variety of jobs, concurrently. By indulging in a range of exercises your brain will begin to see an up-gradation in your dispensation speed. You will start comprehending things faster and in the first shot and it will seem like someone has flicked a switch within you. 

 

Meditation is a very good way of exercising the brain, if you do not want to lose your cognitive abilities and instead make them sharper, you have to determine the ways to keep your mind healthy. A good source of finding out more of these exercises is the internet. This includes exercises to boost IQ and creativity, pacing up brain processing and memory enhancement.

 

3 Key Things to Understand About the Law of Attraction

The law of attraction was first popularized in the 2006 movie “The Secret” by Esther and Jerry Hicks. It has had a huge impact on the mass consciousness, but there is still a large amount of confusion on its general application.

 

#1 - It’s About Vibration, Not Thoughts

 

The main idea behind the law of attraction is that people manifest their reality not through their thoughts but through their vibration. The universe will respond to the energy generated by a particular thought as opposed to the thought itself. So you need to first get yourself into a good mood somehow before you will be able to manifest the energy of what you really want. After a while, the vibration becomes the reward, and the material items just appear after the fact. 

 

#2 - Letting Go of Resistance

 

The level of internal resistance people have to the things that they want is not understood. People can have certain problems or issues, and then they create an identity of themselves out of these problems. When something comes along that is at odds with our idea of ourselves as inferior in some way, we resist. This can be observed when people win the lottery and wind up homeless 10 years later. We have to be a vibrational match to a new reality and not be attached to our former convictions. Otherwise, nothing will change. Many people are resistant to the idea of the law of attraction and will refuse to believe existence could be so simple. They will then continue to struggle believing that it is just how life is. 

 

#3 - Don’t Get Precise

 

It is important to understand the vibrational equivalent of what you want. You can have an image or a feeling about what you want that makes you feel good. But as you get more precise about how it is supposed to manifest, the universe has fewer ways that it can give it to you. There are millions of ways to get rich. But you can only possibly contemplate one or two methods which would involve years of work and labor. Consider that every successful person has vastly changed their business models. And they do so regularly. They might have a general idea about where they want to go, but they definitely innovate and change as these opportunities present themselves. So get happy and positive about the future, but don’t get too precise about how it will materialize. 

3 Ways to Gain a Comprehensive Understanding of Mind

The mind is something of a vague concept that can be hard to comprehend. Even scientists disagree on the nature of the mind and matter. But you don’t need to understand everything. You just need to know enough to further yourself and understand how you actually operate, so you can get to where you need to be. 

 

#1 - Read and Research

 

The best way to gain an understanding of the mind and of your personal inner psychology is to read and research. There are many amazing books that have been written on the art of psychology and persuasion. But it is also good to read a wide variety of literature, and you might consider reading some Buddhist or Zen material which describes the more esoteric nature of the mind. Additionally, there are some very interesting discoveries that have been made by scientific research about how the mind operates. By reading about the experience of others you can contrast them with your own thoughts and ideas. There are cultures with distinctly unique philosophies and ideas that are opposite to those in the West. Contrast is an excellent way to increase understanding and open-mindedness. 

 

#2 - Meditation

 

Meditation is the art of observing your own thoughts. It is the quickest and most widely recognized way to understand your own mind. Even if you are incredibly intelligent and successful, an ability to stand outside yourself is necessary in order for progress. Otherwise, the same habits and tendencies will simply keep repeating themselves. Outside of meditation, it is a good idea to become very strict about what you pay attention to. Do not consume words and images that are not pleasant to your mind. You will have to deal with them in meditation later. 

 

#3 - Learn From Your Emotions

 

Much has been said about the power of the mind in terms of generating our reality. The missing link in what could be arguably described as a left-brained society is the focus on feelings. Our emotions are a response to whether we are happy or sad with our current environment, in a sophisticated real-time feedback system. Emotions have been brushed aside as illogical tendencies, which is a drastic mistake. If you feel bad, it is time to change your thoughts and your situation quickly. Over time, you will gain experience with regard to how intricate the emotional system really is and how it can serve to guide your thoughts. 

 

4 Inspirational Business Leaders With Incredible Mental Strength

In order to succeed in the realm of business, mental strength is essential. All of the most well-known leaders have amazing internal resources which enables them to get handle anything life throws at them. Here are 4 of the more admirable business leaders of the 21st century. 

 

#1 - Oprah Winfrey

 

If there was ever somebody who could be said to have overcome adversity, it is Oprah Winfrey. She was born into poverty and molested as a child, giving birth to a premature child at 14 who died in infancy. Nevertheless, she became the most iconic African America women of the 21st century and still remains very relevant as a symbol of female empowerment. She becomes the first African American billionaire and did much to change popular culture and sexuality taboos. 

 

#2 - Bill Gates

 

Bill Gates is the second richest person in the world with a net worth of over $60 Billion. Gates is the creator of Microsoft and while he still sits on the board, his efforts are mainly focused towards the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation. Gates has pledged all of his fortunes away to charity instead of to his wife and children. Gates is more interested in humanitarian issues such as climate change and diseases than just technology. Early in his career, he was asked why he didn’t just give sell Microsoft and give the money to charity if he cared so much. He answered that he could make more money with Microsoft and use it to help the disadvantaged. And that is exactly what has happened. 

#3 - Donald Trump

 

While Donald Trump is something of a polarizing figure, there can be little argument that he possesses formidable mental strength. In 1999, he said that Oprah Winfrey would be his running mate for a presidential campaign. He has endured a barrage of criticism for his border wall, personal misconduct, and Russian collusion allegations. But the president has an immensely strong psychology that has endured attacks from all sides. He is also a finance magnate with a global presence in the hotel and casino industry. 

#4 - Mark Zuckerberg

 

Zuckerberg is the current CEO of Facebook and has performed very well to remain a position of power in his company, despite his youth. Under Zuckerberg, Facebook has won a large number of court battles. He also undertook a challenge to kill his own meat for a year to understand sustainable farming, which he completed. 

 

5 Proven Strategies to Increase Emotional Intelligence

Emotional intelligence is a little difficult to pin down in many ways, especially with the modern-day emphasis on mental strength. While the two are inter-related, it can help to work on emotional intelligence as its own practice. There are 5 proven ways to increase emotional intelligence. 

 

#1 - Social Situations

 

Learning to handle yourself in social settings is the primary means through which emotional intelligence can be increased. Some people find social situations quite painful, but they are often the best way to excel. If you really want to fast track emotional intelligence, consider public speaking or debating. These are not merely mental practices but they will require emotional skills to execute successfully. 

 

#2 - Express Yourself

 

The majority of people do not know how to express themselves. In many ways, society teaches us to keep our emotions repressed, with a politically correct movement that prevents people from stating the truth. To offset this, learn to express yourself as much as possible. If not in a public setting, you can write or paint in ways that express how you truly feel. Expression is essential to wellbeing and its opposite, repression, will result in an unhappy lifestyle. 

 

#3 - Undertake Charitable Acts

 

While many people are focused on acquiring material possessions, studies have shown that giving away things and taking on volunteer work actually leads to increased meaning and happiness in life. Seeing how other people live in substandard conditions is an excellent way to increase emotional intelligence. It will increase your empathy and compassion. 

 

#4 - Talk Directly

 

The most direct way to increase your emotional intelligence is to find someone you are close to (such as your partner) and discuss how you feel. This will help you to understand how the other person feels and for you to release pent up frustrations. Releasing bottled up energy can assist in personal mastery, as there will be little holding you back. Good listeners are rare to find, but they are invaluable. 

 

#5 - Evaluation

 

Most people live in subjective bubbles. For example, the authoritarian manager can often have no idea how he or she comes across to others. You can evaluate how you make others feel in order to improve your emotional intelligence. Another way to evaluate your emotional intelligence is through journaling your daily experience and quiet reflection. Always remember that your relationship to yourself will be reflected in your relationship to others.