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Navigating Life’s Big Decisions

Things are always changing. One minute you think you have it all figured out, and the next, you are struggling to make big decisions that could change the course you are on. For some people, making these big decisions can seem like a breeze. They can take a look at the options and decide without even slowing down. For others, these big decisions can be enough to derail them and may leave them frozen in their tracks. 

 

Everyone needs help when it comes to navigating the big decisions in life. No matter what crossroad you find yourself at right now, there are a few easy things that you can do to make sure that you navigate these big decisions with grace and ease. These include:

 

Be Gentle with Yourself

 

Even if the change you plan to make is a good one, it is still hard to accept and allow change into your life. You like the status quo, the way things have always been, and any kind of change, whether it is good or bad, can be a little scary. As you make some of the adjustments in life and move forward with that change, remember to be gentle with yourself and allow time for you to get used to it. 

 

Know Your Why

 

As you make some big changes in your life, it is a good idea to know your why and remember it. There may come times when you make big decisions when you will need to return to that why remembering why the change or the decision was so important for you in the first place. For many people, this why is going to be like a big compass as they try to navigate the unknown. Remembering the why can help them stay organized and will lead them on the right path as they go. 

 

Keep Your Routines

 

According to the American Journal of Lifestyle Medicine, a good routine is going to be imperative when you are going through major changes. This routine will help give you something to fall back on, something you can rely on again, ensuring that you won’t feel completely lost or in uncharted territory. 

 

You can choose the type of routine that you would like to do. Maybe you have a special morning routine that includes waking up, doing some exercise, taking a shower, and enjoying a cup of coffee on the porch. You may have the routine in the evening. You can choose how to implement a routine that gives you a sense of security as you try to get a lot done. 

 

Do Journaling

 

Processing your complex emotions in your head can be a challenge. Taking the time to a journal can make a big difference. There is no judgment when you write down your thoughts and emotions and no one else has to see the information. 

 

You can then go back through the pages and see how you are feeling and watch your emotions and thoughts change as the events in your life unfold. And in the end, you may see that the thing that caused you anxiety or made you upset in the past no longer has a firm hold on you. 

 

Final Thoughts

 

Whether you are excited about a change that is coming your way or you feel a lot of apprehensions, just know that others around you are dealing with the same thing. There are a ton of life decisions that you need to think about, but when you have a plan in place and give yourself some grace as you navigate it all, you will find that these life changes no longer have to be as scary and can lead you to something amazing in the end. 

 

5 Steps to More Confident Decision-Making

How do you make a decision? Do you know the steps?

 

If you’re having trouble feeling confident in your actions and wish you had an unwavering self-belief in your decisions, maybe it's time to look at your decision-making process. Decisions made impulsively or without careful thought might not always turn out the way you hope they will.

 

Of course, there's something to be said for instinct and even dumb luck. But what if good decisions were inevitable rather than occasional? Imagine for a moment how it would feel to know you're right before you even act.

 

This is because there are steps you should be going through when making a decision. Let’s take a look at those now.

 

Start With an Open Mind

Do you automatically have all the answers? Probably not. Some of your beliefs might be biased, faulty, or illogical. Accepting you might have things to learn is the first and most crucial step to making decisions. Take a step back from everything but the raw facts regarding what you're trying to decide. 

 

Get the Facts

 

Do you have all the information you need to make an informed decision? Are there things you need to learn? What about examining the options? Have you considered multiple solutions? Take time to put the work in to gather what you need to proceed with confidence.

 

Predict the Future

 

Once you have some choices in mind, try to imagine how they're going to play out. Sometimes what looks good might be a great temporary solution, but you're going to need to do something different in the long run. If you make a certain decision right now, ask yourself if this will still be a good decision in the morning? What about next week? Or next year? 

 

Get Another Opinion

 

Do you have a mentor or someone you can trust whom you could talk to about this? While you might skip this step on the small stuff, it's worth having someone you trust weigh in with their opinion whenever you make a big decision. They might see something you're missing. 

 

Act

 

Sometimes the hardest part of making decisions lies in making the actual decision. It’s tempting to go back over the research a few more times or keep looking for other alternatives. At some point, you’re going to need to act. Take your best solution and move forward with it with confidence. You’ve done all the work. Now comes the part where you put this newfound trust in yourself into action. 

 

The best part? The more you run through this process, the more confident you’ll feel about making decisions in the first place.

 

Decision Making Skills

Are you good at making decisions? The skill is natural for some people while others struggle to make even the most basic decisions. While personality types can play a role in one’s ability to make decisions, it’s also a skill that can be learned.

 

One reason people don’t like to make decisions is they don’t want to be held responsible for the outcomes. This reluctance is a defense mechanism as others may criticize you if you don’t choose wisely. It could erode the confidence others have in you regarding your ability to make decisions. However, you can take steps to reduce it from happening.

 

One of the main factors in decision making is confidence. Therefore, building confidence will help you make decisions. Others will also follow your lead as they will respect your confidence. When you make decisions with confidence, they have no choice but to recognize your authority.

 

Decision making requires finding out the right information. You won’t get far if you start making decisions without information to back them. You need to be informed when making your decisions which means you have a bit of detective work to do. You have to get as many of the facts as you can before making most decisions. 

 

Often, you won’t get all the facts you need for one reason or another. In this case, you will need to take a leap of faith and rely on your confidence when making decisions. That’s an unfortunate part of the process and one that makes people choose wrong directions sometimes. But, as long as you decide using the information you have available, you can defend your choice.

 

As part of the decision-making process, consider coming up with alternatives. List out all possible alternatives based on the current information. You can rate the alternatives on a scale of your choosing. This rating can help you when making the decision. You can choose a star-rating system or a percentage system (0-100), etc.

 

Another technique people like to use is to list out the pros and the cons. To do this, take out a blank piece of paper and write a dividing line in the center. Create the heading “Pros” on the left, and “Cons” on the right. Then, list out the pros and the cons. You can use this to guide you with your decision. Try not to make this process too mechanical as the list may contain several subjective items.

How to Overcome Bad Decisions

There is nobody on earth who can lay claim to never making a bad decision. People make too many decisions for them not to make bad decisions once-in-a-while. Hopefully, those decisions have little impact. However, there will be occasions where you make some that have big consequences.

 

It’s going to happen. You try to do everything in your power to avoid these bad decisions. Perhaps, the information you needed was not available at the time you made the decision. Or, someone gave you the wrong data, whether intentionally or not. It’s possible you made a rash decision without giving much thought to the consequences of the decision. Whatever the case, the result may turn into an unpleasant and stressful situation.

 

You need to face up to the consequences. Take ownership of the decision and don’t pass the blame. It’s possible you will have to deal with someone if they didn’t give you the right information or they deceived you in some manner. Their action may be the cause of the wrong decision, and you have to choose if you should let that person go as a result. However, if you were the one that was responsible for making the final decision, then the consequences of that decision rests with you.

 

Stay confident and don’t panic. Learn about what happened and why. Then, try to find ways to reduce the impact of your decision. If it is a business decision that costs your company some money, make sure you let your management know about it right away. Don’t try to ignore the problem thinking that management may not notice. They will be upset when a mistake costs the company money. But they will be even more upset if you don’t make it known in a timely fashion.

 

Don’t be afraid to talk to someone who may be able to help with the situation. It could be your boss or a mentor. They may be able to shed some insight into the situation. In fact, you could be blowing the situation out of proportion, and they will know how to get you out of it. But, they can only help if you give them timely information about it.

 

If the situation requires presenting your case to higher-level management, try to prepare alternatives on how to reverse the situation or reduce the impact. If these managers see that you have taken control of the situation, they may decide to let you run with the alternatives, although probably with a watchful eye of your manager.

 

What Is A Decision?

Some people contend, that in its simplest form, life is a series of choices. This is, in some sense, true. Except that it's not that simple, because life itself is not that simple. The complexity of life or, rather, living a life, means that the choices the average individual faces over the course of a lifetime are equally complex. These choices range from simple survival decisions (Should I eat that mushroom?), to difficult moral personal choices (Should I speak out against this injustice and incur increased personal risk?) Obviously, the one thing that all these decisions have in common are the option of choosing action and outcome. However, because the nature of these various actions, and their potential outcomes, vary wildly, no one strategy can encompass the process of deciding between them This is where an understanding of what a decision is becomes important.

 

A decision is, of course, the action of deciding something. A person faced with a choice, makes a choice. The most basic example of this is the proverbial fork in the road. When facing a fork in the road, you have the choice of going left or going right. You stop for a period of time while you think, then you decide to go either left or right. Once the decision has been made you take the path you've chosen. 

 

That's straightforward and obvious, right? To some extent, the answer to that question is yes. To a greater extent, however, the answer is no. To become a more efficient and more focused decision maker, you need to understand all the processes that went into making the simple decision above.

 

First, there was a problem. The path you were walking on divided into two. Second, there was the nature of the problem. Because the path divided, you were forced to go either left or right to reach your destination. Third, you needed to choose between these two options in order to continue. Fourth, you utilized your experience, knowledge and intuition to decide which option was best suited to your needs. Fifth, you actually made the decision. Finally, you, once again, began moving forward towards your destination based on that decision.

 

As you can see, the simplest of decisions entails a number of steps. In most cases, we handle these steps subconsciously, without really being aware of what it is we are doing. When the decision we are faced with is simple, this "autopilot" method of choosing isn't a problem. However, when more complex decisions need to be made, not understanding the process can give rise to difficulties.

 

How to Make Daring Career Decisions

People head to work each day and complete the tasks required of them. They do this day in and day out, even though it isn’t rewarding for most. So why do they do it? They like the security of having a steady paycheck.

 

There is more to life than a paycheck and many are starting to realize this. It could be that it’s easier than ever to start a business. Before the internet, the only real choices were a brick-and-mortar type of business. That is still viable for some. But, for others, an online business is the way to go.

 

Still, it can be quite scary to throw your entire career away to start up something new. Just because it’s easy to start a business today, doesn’t mean business is easy. The competition is growing daily. And, the competition is from people all over the world. Giving up the security of that paycheck is not a decision to be made lightly. 

 

One push for people to start something new is they are finding that their jobs are not as secure as they once thought. Layoffs and downsizing happen at regular intervals. Even people who survive the cuts will be expected to work harder and longer hours. Often, their salaries are reduced and bonuses are something for the history books.

 

People get to the point where they don’t feel secure and they resent having to do more work for the same (or even less) pay. This can give them the motivation they need to branch out on their own. The good news is many people can start these businesses on the side and continue to earn paychecks until their new business earns money. When this happens, they take on a new mental outlook of hope knowing that a better life is possible.

 

They also learn they can charge to coach others to do the same. This movement feeds off of itself as more dare to realize their dreams of owning their own business. It can be related to their field or they can branch off into something entirely different. Imagine getting paid for something you love! The possibilities are endless.

 

Don’t quit your job until you know what kind of business you are going to start and come up with a business plan. Also, seek out help from qualified people. You may have to pay some money upfront for their expertise, but it may be well worth the effort later.

6 Tips For Working Through Your Mistakes

None of us are immune to making mistakes. Yet, those who have the skillset and confidence to learn from their mistakes are the ones who seem to do better in life.

 

By gaining knowledge and experience from our slip-ups, we boost people’s trust in our abilities. Not only that, but we become more capable of navigating life’s ups and downs with minimal stress and anxiety.

 

In this guide, I’ll discuss six tips for working through your mistakes. I’ll also talk about the psychology behind making mistakes, and how your blunders can actually help you become the best version of yourself.

 

So, let’s get started.

 

Own Your Mistakes

 

The first step in working through a mistake and learning from it is to admit to it. It’s not easy owning up to our oversights, but it’s part of the process of growth and self-discovery.

 

Also, try not to make excuses or justify your actions. I have to admit that it’s a lot easier to hide behind some lame reason or just blame someone else for what happened.

 

Let’s face it; we’re all afraid of being criticized and judged. However, when you do that, you only feel good for a short while. But then, soon after, the guilt starts to eat away at you.

 

So, while difficult to do, holding yourself accountable will be better for you in the long run. First of all, it’ll give you peace of mind. Plus, you’ll gain the respect of your peers as well as yourself.

 

Shift Your Perspective

 

Why did Thomas Edison have no problem failing all those times throughout his career? Because he didn’t see his mistakes and failures as something bad to be ashamed of.

 

Instead, he took them as an opportunity to learn. If he’d been afraid of what people might say about his repeated mistakes when he was inventing the light bulb, he wouldn’t have made history and become one of the most famous inventors of all time.

 

The same goes for hundreds of successful people. Yet, we usually don’t focus on their journey. Instead, we fast forward to the part where they became famous, forgetting that they spent days and weeks slipping up and trying to fix their errors.

 

Explore Alternative Courses of Action

 

Once you’ve trained your mind to see the good that can come from making mistakes, you’ll be better equipped to understand what went wrong.

 

You’ll also know why it happened and what you can do in the future to prevent it from happening again.

 

Yet, probably one of the most significant advantages of making mistakes is when you’re able to dig through the rubble and come up with alternative courses of action. For example, list the facts and devise other ways to handle the same situation or something similar.

 

This is a great way to take advantage of what happened and use it as a stepping stone to the next big thing in your life. As a result, you’ll find it easier to work through your mistakes and manage things more effectively.

 

Stop Dwelling on the Past

 

It’s only natural to find yourself fixated on that time you spilled coffee all over your presentation. Or when you stumbled on your way up the stairs and nearly ran into your boss.

 

Yet, dwelling on the past and overthinking are two of the biggest barriers to working through your mistakes.

 

Not only that, but they have a negative effect on your self-esteem. As a result, you become more anxious and apprehensive and have trouble moving on.

 

When you feel like your negative self-talk is taking over, you have to make a conscious effort to stop it before it gains momentum. Show yourself the same kindness and empathy you’d show to a friend.

 

The best way to do that is to make peace with your mistakes. Tell yourself that life moves on.

 

You can’t change what happened. So, the best way to get over something like that is to use it to avoid making the same mistake in the future.

 

Create a Plan of Action

 

The next logical step is to develop a plan of action. This is where you create a vivid mental image of what you should and shouldn’t do differently to get better results.

 

To start, gather as much information as you can and analyze it. Then, finally, put your plan into motion.

 

One of the best ways to ensure your plan is successful is to rely on new resources or skills. So, why not join a class or pick up a hobby? It’ll get you involved in new experiences while exposing yourself to new skill sets that you can use for self-improvement.

 

Make New Mistakes

 

No matter how old you are or what position you hold in your workplace, you will make mistakes. They’re a natural part of growing as an individual.

 

The only thing you can do is to make the most of your mistake and use it as a learning tool. This way, you’ll minimize their impact on your mental and emotional health, and you’ll be able to pick up the pieces much more efficiently.

 

So, the next time you find yourself slipping up, try taking a solution-oriented approach rather than dwell on the actual mistake. This positive way of dealing with things will allow you to think a few steps ahead to focus more on the solution rather than the problem.

 

7 Tips for Restoring Your Self-Worth After a Toxic Relationship

Well, that didn’t go right.

 

We walk into a relationship with so much enthusiasm. We think what we’ve found is the best thing in the world, which is a heady feeling for while it lasts. Sadly, when a relationship is toxic, we’re frequently the last to know. By the time we escape, our self-worth has already taken a hefty blow. 

 

So, how do you restore positive feelings about yourself after a toxic relationship?

 

Release Your Victimhood

 

The more you focus on what happened, the more you get stuck, so the sooner you can quit revisiting the past and dwelling on perceptions of ill treatment, the sooner you’re going to put all this behind you. This doesn’t mean to say this was your fault, but obsessing about the ‘shoulds’ and going back over every encounter is only going to hurt you regardless of whether you were in the right or not.

 

Drop the Blame

 

Was it your fault? Not. The sooner you can let go of any residual guilt or bad feelings about the relationship, the happier you’ll be. The next step should help.

 

Silence Their Voice 

 

The problem with toxic relationships is you tend to believe what the other person said about you, no matter how outlandish it seemed at the time. Now their voice is there, lurking in your head to remind you of all your so-called shortcomings at every opportunity—time to tell them to shut up once and for all.

 

Embrace the New You

 

Find joy in being single. Spoil yourself. Do that thing you always wanted to do. Take lessons, build your skill set as you build yourself up. Become your own best friend in a way that doesn’t require validation from any outside source.

 

Believe Your Friends 

 

You hear the compliments, but they’re going in one ear and out the other. Rather than brush off the nice things, people around you are saying, start listening. Listening until these words become a part of who you are.

 

Create Goals You Love

 

What would you like to do with your life? Too often, our goals reflect the needs and desires around us. Now is the time to reverse this. Accepting you are capable, and your goals are worth fighting for, what do YOU want to do? 

 

Affirmations

 

Work through the worst offenders of negative self-talk through positive affirmations. Take note of what you’re telling yourself. Rewrite the script and turn these statements around into affirmations that you read to yourself every day.

 

Remember, this is a process and is likely to take time. By reminding yourself of just how amazing you are, and focusing hard on these steps, eventually, you will start feeling the difference even if you don’t see it yet. Hang in there!

 

The 7 Keys for Improving Relationships

 

Human life is full of moments with people. These are people we build relationships with. And relationships aren’t just confined to people who are actually related to us—we can have a relationship with anyone we interact with. And it is because of this ubiquitous nature of human relationships that we constantly strive to improve them. In fact, when we are improving our relationships with people, we are actually improving ourselves. If we are looking for personal development, this is one of the most concrete ways to go about it.

 

Whatever the type of relationship may be, however simple or however complex, its enhancement basically boils down to the following simple keys.

 

Commitment

 

For your relationship to blossom, commitment is an important prerequisite. You have to commit to the other person in terms of your thoughts, your words, your expressions and you have to show it to them by investing time in them and putting in the right efforts to grow your relationship.

 

Freedom

 

You shouldn’t bind the people you are in a relationship with. Just as you want your freedom, the other person wants their freedom too. Respect that and you will find the relationship going forward.

 

Respect

 

You need to respect the other person’s feelings and emotions, likes and dislikes, wants and desires and so on. Respect them for what they are, for what they stand for and do not expect them to change for you.

 

Support

 

Being in a relationship means supporting each other. You have to help them in their aspirations and in their joys and sorrows. This will only get back to you—if you support the person you have a relationship with, they are going to support you too.

 

Equality

 

No one is higher than the other when they have a relationship. At least, you shouldn’t harbor such feelings in your mind. If you are connected with a person for some reason, then you need to think of them as equal to you. You need them just as much as they need you.

 

Resolving Conflicts

 

It is not that everything will be hunky-dory always in your relationship. There will be conflicts. You will argue; you will have alterations. But, when you are fostering a relationship with someone, it is essential that you resolve all these conflicts with them in a constructive manner, without demeaning each other and through fruitful discussion.

 

Trust

 

If you want the people you are in a relationship with to trust you, then you need to trust them first. Trust is the foundation on which a relationship is built.

 

Top 5 Relationship Killers that You Must Avoid

 

Relationships are made and broken all around us. At such times, we become apprehensive about our own relationships. We try to protect what we cherish the most. We try to look at ways and means how we can keep our relationship flame burning. However, at the same time, we don’t realize that there are things we may do that can destroy a beautiful relationship. Actually speaking, it is these things—which are mostly behavioral traits—that we need to avoid.

 

Possessiveness

 

It is good to be a little possessive about your partner, but if you are too possessive, then it can only backfire. You shouldn’t, for example, hog all of their free time. You shouldn’t be jealous of the other people they move around with. Give them their life to live; if you are confident about them, you will always remain the most important person in their life.

 

Restrictions

 

Too often, in a relationship, we tend to make people act in the way we want them to act. We tell them to avoid doing certain things they like and do certain things they detest. This is restrictive behavior. If you put yourself in their place, you will find that this kind of behavior can be stifling. A time may come when your partner eventually snaps and walks out.

 

Asking for Change

 

You need to realize that your partner is a different person. They have been brought up in a different way from you and they have a personality that is different from yours. You shouldn’t want them to become like you; it is best if they remain the person they were when you first decided to have a relationship with them. Even if your partner is willing to change, it will be unacceptable to them as well as you.

 

Complacency

 

When you are in a relationship, you have certain obligations. You need to do a few special things keeping your partner in mind. It is not just about remembering their birthday and showering them with gifts, but you also have to give them a good ear when they want it, a shoulder to cry on when they are looking for one and a motivational word when they need it. You cannot let your relationship grow all by itself; it won’t.

 

Competition

 

Even within the staunchest of relationships, there is always an element of skepticism. You shouldn’t do anything to aggravate that feeling. For example, it is best not to be too friendly to other people if your partner is feeling threatened by them. Casual banter is all right, but you need to draw the line with your other people when you are in a relationship with someone.

Don't Let Disagreement Ruin a Relationship

Relationships are never easy, and, likely, you and your partner don't agree on everything under the sun. This is natural, and every couple deals with this. However, you want to be careful not to let disagreements ruin your relationship. So, what is the best way to keep this from happening? 

 

Don’t Avoid Arguments

 

When you know you and your partner don't agree on something, it can sometimes seem like a good idea to avoid the argument completely. For example, your partner will ask if something is okay with you and because you don't want to upset them with an argument - you lie and say you are feeling fine. This lying is not the solution because now your partner has false information about the relationship that they may use to make future decisions. These decisions will only cause future problems rather than just answering honestly and resolving the issue right now.

 

Never Let Your Agreements Get Personal

 

You've seen it in a million TV shows, the couple is arguing over who needs to do the dishes, and then one of the parties brings up an unrelated incident that happened months before that they are still upset about. Getting too personal transforms the argument into an attack of the person's character and makes it much worse than just the incident at hand. When this happens in an argument with your partner, you must realize that this is no longer a constructive argument and needs to end before someone's feelings are hurt. 

 

Agree to Disagree

 

Suppose you notice that an argument between you and your partner is beginning to escalate to the point where someone could say something that hurts the other person's feelings or could damage the relationship permanently. In that case, it's time to agree to disagree. 

 

Despite what people may think, agreeing to disagree is a resolution to an argument. And by employing it in an argument you are having with your partner, it is the same as saying you respect their opinion, but you will never see the same way, so you respect them enough to stop arguing before someone gets hurt. 

 

Overall, it can be difficult not to let a disagreement ruin a relationship. But if it’s a relationship worth fighting for, then always remember not to avoid arguments, don’t let them ever get personal, and agree to disagree if you come to a point where there is no other resolution to the argument at hand.