Success Is Not Luck, It’s You!

Do you have feelings or worries that your co-workers or friends will think you're a fraud? Do you often feel like you don’t belong? These are feelings of impostor syndrome and an estimated 70% of successful people experience this in their lives. 

 

Impostor syndrome can cause you to feel that you only accomplished your goals due to luck. Maybe you think you aren’t as good as your boss thinks you are and you worry that you’ll be found out. 

 

Research shows us that both men and women battle impostor syndrome and are unable to acknowledge and own their successes. 

 

Five Patterns of Impostor Syndrome

 

According to the impostor expert Valerie Young and author of “The Secret Thoughts of Successful Women”, there are five patterns that can be found in those who suffer from this phenomenon.

• You set unrealistic goals for yourself and are often considered a perfectionist. 

• You are afraid to speak up or answer questions due to fear of not knowing the answer.

• You are afraid to ask for help because you think you’ll look like a failure to others.

• You feel like a fraud if the answer doesn’t come naturally.

• You push yourself hard than your peers in order to prove yourself. 

 

Individuals that live with impostor syndrome think that things happen to them due to luck rather than their own hard work or abilities. This then leads to a cycle of negative thinking that can hold them back from moving up the corporate ladder. They may even end up working harder than necessary, which could lead to increased feelings of failure or burnout.

 

Change Your Mindset, Change Your Life

 

If you are living with impostor syndrome you may struggle with accepting your own success. Perhaps you feel that you don’t deserve your corporate position or an award of accomplishment. If you can relate to this, then there are some suggestions on how you can fix your inner impostor. 

 

• Change your mindset to accept your shortcomings instead of seeking a perfect outcome with every project or goal. 

• Embrace your imperfections and learn to accept yourself the way you are. Remind yourself that you did your best. 

• Keep a list of realistic goals. If you have a list of goals already then look through them with honesty.

• Believe the effort you’ve put forth regardless of the outcome. You may have worked hard towards a goal just to fall short of the desired outcome. This is an opportunity to accept the outcome and still be proud of the work you put into it. 

• Create a focused goal instead of trying to divide your attention energy between unrelated topics. Be okay with having someone else work on a particular area of a task so you are free to focus on what you enjoy.

 

Impostor syndrome can cause the strongest and most successful individuals to feel like they are not good enough. This syndrome has a negative effect on all areas of your life. So take time to assess where you are and what you can do to move forward in your life. 

What Is Impostor Syndrome?

Impostor syndrome is best described as the fear of being considered a fraud or doubting one's accomplishments. Even those who have reached a level of success in their chosen field are often full of anxiety and crippling thoughts of being considered a fraud. According to the Journal of Behavioral Science, it is estimated that 70% of people in the U.S. experience impostor syndrome. 

 

Impostor syndrome (IS) is an internal feeling that you believe you are not as qualified as other may think you are. This is often connected to thoughts of perfectionism and can be applied to your intelligence or achievement. If you have feelings of being a fraud or that you did not deserve that raise, then you could be dealing with impostor syndrome. 

 

Four Characteristics of Impostor Syndrome

 

Those who suffer with impostor syndrome doubt their own skills and accomplishments despite the evidence of the success. Below are four common indicators you may be dealing with impostor syndrome.

 

• Deep-seated feelings of fear that you aren’t able to meet expectations.

• Undermining your achievements even when you worked diligently towards that goal.

• Setting unrealistic goals and then feeling disappointed if you do not meet those goals.

• Doubting yourself no matter what you’re working on or working towards.

 

If you recognize any of the above, there some things you can do to move past these feelings. Begin by confronting your feelings and any beliefs you hold about yourself. If you struggle with any of this, consider speaking with a professional or close friend. Confiding in someone can help you gain clarity on your feelings and beliefs. 

 

Impostor syndrome can be ingrained in you as a child and continue well into adulthood. Struggling with feelings of being a fraud can happen to anyone but is seen mostly in successful women. According to research done with Psycnet.apa.org, “despite their outstanding academic and professional accomplishments, women who experience the impostor phenomenon persist in believing that they are really not bright and have fooled anyone who thinks otherwise.”

 

Do You Have Impostor Syndrome?

 

So, how do you know if you suffer from impostor syndrome? One way to know if you are dealing with it is to take a free online test. Simply answer the questions that you can find through a quick online search, or try the free test on at Psycom.net.  

 

You can remove impostor syndrome by first recognizing it in your life and seeing how it is affecting you. Progressively work towards breaking those limiting beliefs by thinking of the quality of work you are performing versus the quantity. 

 

If someone pays you a compliment, remind yourself that it is a fact and that you deserve it. Begin to recognize your own successes and take time to celebrate the wins in your life. Eventually your inner voice will support your new positive thoughts so you can overcome the feelings of impostor syndrome.

Your Childhood May Have Contributed to Impostor Syndrome

Do you have repeated thoughts you haven’t rightfully gained your job or an award? Do you fear being outed or exposed for not being as talented or enough in your career?

 

Impostor syndrome is a habitual thought pattern, according to PsychCentral, and may stem from your family background. Impostor syndrome can bring on feelings of chronic self-doubt and even a lack of celebration of their achievements. 

 

Imposter syndrome can limit your belief in your abilities, talents, and even accomplishments. This can then lead to increased anxiety and low self-esteem. Many adults live with limiting beliefs because of their family upbringing and often do not know that this is even an issue until later in life. 

 

Where Does Impostor Syndrome Come From?

 

Impostor syndrome can come from receiving praise or acknowledgment for something that you didn’t deserve, and this can directly influence your thoughts into causing feelings of being a phony. There may be a variety of reasons why you battle thoughts of feeling like a fraud or have the feeling of being an impostor in your life. 

 

Impostor syndrome can hinder your self-esteem and even keep you from trying new activities in life. If you frequently battle feelings where you don’t deserve recognition for a job well done, then you could be living with it. It is reported that many individuals are known to have this syndrome without realizing it. 

 

Five Reasons You May Battle Impostor Syndrome

 

There are five common reasons why you may be battling impostor syndrome, such as:

 

• You may have received praise or recognition for something that you did not deserve, such as a blue ribbon for a project when you know you did not do your best.

• You may have been praised for being good in a skill that you actually were not good at just so you would not be left out. 

• You may have never received any type of positive reinforcement for a job well done even though you worked to your best ability.

• You may not feel deserving of something of value because you were told you were not good enough or should have done better regardless of how much effort you put forth.

• Did your family assign you a label such as “the sporty one” or “the smart one” without recognizing other areas you excelled at?

 

These labels or ingrained life lessons could cause you to grow into an adult that suffers from impostor syndrome. 

 

Once you can relate to one or more of these life experiences, you can change your own life. For example, if they labeled you the “smart one” of your family, then you could begin by recognizing a job well done in another area of your life. Perhaps trying out for a sports team or taking part in a community event can be the beginning of self-recognition and the shedding of your impostor syndrome feelings. 

 

Take time to recognize your own achievements, as this can build your self-esteem and help you shed that label.

Risk Factors For Alcoholism

Alcoholism goes by several names, including alcohol dependence, alcohol abuse, and alcohol use disorder. Recently, it’s been diagnosed as a disease that happens when someone drinks so much that their bodies become addicted to consuming alcohol. It becomes a craving they can’t shake off, no matter how much they drink.

 

Then, the more they drink, the more they’re affected by it because it causes chemical changes in the brain. These changes make you feel intense pleasure whenever you get a drink.

 

This acute sense of pleasure makes them drink more often, regardless of the harm it causes. As a result, people who suffer from alcoholism will keep drinking even if it means destroying relationships or losing their jobs. Still, it’s not enough to make them stop drinking.

 

Even though the exact cause is still unknown, certain risk factors for alcoholism can increase a person’s risk of developing this disorder.

 

Take a look.

 

5 Risk Factors for Alcoholism

 

Alcoholism is a complex disorder with many underlying causes. Therefore, the factors that impact one person can be different for someone else. The factors that can increase the risk for alcoholism are called ‘risk factors.’

 

Still, you can have one or more of these risk factors and still not develop a drinking problem. Yet, it does make you more susceptible. So, it pays to be extra careful when you’re around alcohol.

 

Below is a list of the five most common risk factors of this debilitating disease, commonly referred to as alcohol use disorder (AUD).

 

Mental Health Problems

 

According to several studies, anyone suffering from a mental health issue is more at risk for developing any type of addiction, including alcoholism. And it’s not just related to alcohol; it can also be an addiction to drugs, opioids, cigarettes, and even food.

 

A Close Relative with Alcoholism

 

If one of your parents, siblings, or another close relative has alcoholism, this can increase the risk of developing AUD yourself.

 

The main reason is the person’s influence on your genetic make-up. Studies show that there are specific genes that react differently to alcohol than others and may even be more vulnerable to its effects.

 

A second important reason is an alcoholic relative can affect your environment. Whether you realize it or not, growing up around alcoholics can determine whether or not you’ll decide to be swayed to alcohol use later in life.

 

Binge Drinking

 

Binge drinking is when a person drinks excessively in a short amount of time.

 

For men, this is in the range of having more than five drinks in one sitting. As for women, it’s about four or more drinks.

 

This type of risk factor is more common in young adults between the ages of 18 to 34. Coincidently, this is the time when college students are dealing with the pressures of school. Then, they graduate and have to deal with the responsibilities of balancing work and life.

Nevertheless, many people over the age of 34 are also binge drinkers. It happens more often when they’re in an uncomfortable setting and feel an urge to ease their anxiety so they can relax and have a good time.

 

Exceed the Average Weekly Limit

 

According to the Dietary Guidelines for Americans, adult men of the legal drinking age can have two drinks or less per day. For women, it’s one drink or less in a day.

 

Alternatively, men who drink 14 or more drinks per week, or more than five drinks per day, are at a higher risk of suffering alcohol use disorder.

 

At the same time, women who drink more than 7 drinks per week are also more liable to suffer from alcoholism.

 

The number of drinks varies from men and women because of the difference in their body composition. It also takes into account how they metabolize food, with women being more vulnerable to the adverse effects of alcoholic beverages than men.

 

High-Stress Levels

 

Stress is a common risk factor for many addictive substances, as well as dozens of mental and physical health disorders, including alcohol use. Research shows that many cases of alcoholism stem from a high-stress situation related to school, work, money, or relationships.

 

Alcohol acts as a sedative. So, when you’re overly stressed, alcohol becomes the only way to handle your negative emotions, allowing you to de-stress and take your mind off your problems.

 

Yet, if left unchecked, excessive drinking quickly turns into an addiction. And all those feelings stay bottled up, leading to more serious mental health issues, such as the ones mentioned above.

 

To Sum Up

 

If you, or anyone you know, has one or more of these risk factors, it doesn’t necessarily mean it’ll lead to alcoholism. Yet, it does mean you have to be extra careful anytime alcohol is being served. For example, start by making a conscious choice to limit your alcohol intake.

 

However, if you suspect that you have a drinking problem, then it might be time to seek treatment. There are numerous treatments to choose from, but all are designed with one aim in mind: to help you take your first step towards a better tomorrow.

Why Regular Exercise Is Such an Important Aspect of Personal Development

If you are on a quest to try and improve yourself, then you certainly cannot ignore one of the chief aspects of personal development—exercise. You must have already heard the adage A Healthy Mind in a Healthy Body. If you want to be really fit and become a successful person, your body has to be just as fit as your mind is. Undermining any of these aspects takes you away from developing your body fruitfully.

 

There are several benefits of regular exercise that are specific to personal development, as you shall see…

 

1. When your body is fitter, you look more attractive. A lot of people still equate good personality with an attractive body. Hence, you are pandering to one of the basest definitions of personal development. And, who’s complaining actually? Who doesn’t want to have an attractive body anyway?

 

2. A healthier body means that you have more energy to accomplish things. You are able to work faster and produce better results. You can go ahead of your competitors. This you won’t be able to do if you lack stamina and get breathless on your way to the top. A modicum of exercise is needed to keep you moving on.

 

3. Another very important benefit of regular exercise is that it keeps diseases away if not completely avoids them. You don’t need to call in sick as much as a person who doesn’t exercise would. You are healthier not only in body but also in mind, and that’s the reason why you can think better. Your plans and suggestions have a better chance of being accepted because you have formulated them in good health, something that your exercise-shirking rivals have not done.

 

4. Exercise helps free up your mind. If you haven’t exercised already, try it now. Exercise early in the mornings, which is the best time. Even if you just work out on the treadmill for 15 minutes in the morning, you will feel rejuvenated. You will feel as though you can just run out and grab what you want to achieve. Also, it gives you time to think, to plan out things, which is very important. While the blood is pumping in the body, it is pumping in the brain as well. It is filling up those little gray cells and ideas are generated.

 

These are just four of the many benefits that regular exercise has. Invest your time wisely in exercise—if you are looking for personal development, you cannot afford to downplay its importance in your life.

 

Attitude Of Gratitude: Empowering Habits You Should Live By (Infographic)

Attitude Of Gratitude: Habit Formation Phases (Infographic)

Attitude Of Gratitude: Developing The Habits Of Gratitude (Infographic)

Attitude Of Gratitude: Practicing Gratitude In Your Daily Life (Infographic)

3 Ways Understanding Brain Science Builds an Inner Calm

What if someone told you that you could control your brain? Well, the good news is you can. All you need is some practice and a little bit of knowledge. Brain science isn’t rocket science (see what we did there?). It’s a skill that can be learned with time, practice, and patience. Ready to learn how to be calm under pressure? Let’s go! 

 

1. Understand “Fight or Flight”

 

You can thank your elementary school teachers for beating this one into your head. If you need a little recap, “fight or flight” describes how the body reacts in stressful situations. To put it simply, you either decide to flee the scene (flight) or take action (fight). On a fundamental level, this explains why you react a certain way in order to survive. However, “fight or flight” is irrelevant in a lot of scenarios in our modern world. Yet, our brain senses danger when we experience things outside of what is “normal.” If you feel your body tensing up, for example, that’s a byproduct of “fight or flight.” The next time you think you’re experiencing this, ask yourself, “Is this really life or death? Or should I calm down and realize it will be okay?” 

 

2. Call out your Emotions 

 

Detaching from your emotions is prescribed by many meditation experts and leaders who have mastered the art of staying calm. We’re humans, so we’re inevitably going to experience the whole gamut of feelings. That being said, we can choose to observe them rather than attach to them. That means when you feel a surge of anger, call it out. Say, “That’s anger I’m experiencing because of XYZ. I know that this will pass, but I acknowledge that my feelings are valid.” Be sure to validate your feelings rather than dismiss them. Your emotions are real, and it is okay that you’re feeling them! 

 

3. Breathe

 

Sometimes, all you need to do is breathe. Connect to your breath. Count your breaths. Be grateful that you’re breathing. There are many ways to experience the delight of breathing, so take some time to figure out which approach works best for you. The important thing is that you’re doing it. As we mentioned with “fight or flight,” the body reacts to stress and adverse events. We may choke up, forget to breathe, or breathe super heavily. All of those things impact our mind, so try to instill a sense of calm in your body first. 

5 Creative Ways to Calm a Chaotic Mind

Do you ever feel like you can’t escape your mind? Maybe it’s always spinning out of control, or perhaps you have a lot of thoughts. A lot of people experience chaos in their own minds, and this can make things difficult when you’re trying to work toward your goals. The next time your mind is filled with confusion, try one of these five creative ways to alleviate the stress. 

 

1. Keep it Busy 

 

There’s a delicate balance between keeping your mind busy without overcrowding it. It’s one thing to occupy your mind so it doesn’t wander, but it’s a whole different ball game when you start stressing out about endless to-do lists and information overload. Try to write 3-5 things you want to accomplish every day — and be sure to add at least one thing that is purely for fun. This will keep your mind busy without getting you too stressed. 

 

2. Help Others 

 

When was the last time you extended a helping hand to someone who needs it? Our brains tend to calm down when we’re in “helper mode” because the focus is on others rather than our own problems or stresses. 

 

3. Pick up a Creative Hobby 

 

We all have a creative side, whether it’s deep down or you’re continually flexing your creative muscles. Picking up a creative hobby gives your brain a nice, healthy break from the usual grind. Plus, it allows you to expand your intelligence with new forms of thinking. Win-win! 

 

4. Care for your Physical Being 

 

The mind and bodywork hand in hand a lot, so if you aren’t caring for your physical being, you may notice some stress going on in your head. Take time to care for your body — work out more, take a walk, draw a bath, or snooze your alarm clock. There are lots of ways to reenergize your body so that you can take on more in your mind! 

 

5. Connect with Others 

 

Helping others and connecting with other people are two totally different things, but both are essential aspects of cultivating an active, healthy mind. As humans, we need socialization. We thrive when we are part of a tribe. We crave human interaction time, so get out there and get social! Every laugh and bit of chatter will feed your mind in countless ways. Call a friend and have lunch in the park. It doesn’t have to be a big production, since the goal is simple human connection.

 

5 Uncommon Methods that will Instill Calm into Your Life

We all know the conventional ways to achieve calm: meditate, go for a walk, listen to relaxing music, etc., but what about the uncommon ways to do it? For all of you who like to break the mold, here are some unconventional methods to instill calm into your life. 

 

1. Put your Phone on Silent 

 

Or even better, airplane mode. It’s a big ask, so don’t worry if you need to take baby steps to get there. The point of this exercise is that a silent phone increases the chances of achieving a quiet mind. We’re all so distracted by our black screens that we forget to soak up the present moment — so give it a go! 

 

2. Mindful Eating 

 

If you’re puzzled by this one, you’re not alone. Most people like to scarf down their food the second it’s in front of them — very primal of us. But every once and a while, it pays to eat slowly and take in every bite. Focus on the flavors as they marry, the textures, and the joy of being able to eat. That’s called mindful eating! 

 

3. Watch TV 

 

Hold on, watching TV will make me calmer?! Doesn’t everyone say it’s terrible for your mind? Well, we’re talking about watching TV in healthy, moderate doses. That doesn’t mean you should binge-watch TV every day, but when your mind needs a break, it’s perfectly acceptable to put on an episode of your favorite show to relax. 

 

4. Do Something Mundane 

 

Most people don’t get excited about mundane, menial tasks like doing the laundry or washing dishes, but it’s great for the mind. You’re probably used to a lot of thinking in that brain of yours, which means you’re not giving it a lot of time to focus on something without being totally consumed by it. Try it out! 

 

5. Use Art to Achieve Calm 

 

You may not be a junior Picasso (or maybe you are!), but that doesn’t mean you can’t use art to calm your mind. Go to a museum or stare at your favorite picture hanging on your wall. Art does an excellent job of calming people down and bringing them back to a grounded state. 

 

Simple enough, right? No matter what method (or methods) you choose to try out, make sure you’re doing what feels best for your mind and body. This is a personal thing — finding calm should be a happy, worry-free journey. Good luck! 

6 Ways to Deal with the Upheaval at Work

If you’ve ever had things fall apart at work, you’re already quite familiar with upheaval at work. It happens every time you get a new boss, or they start making significant policy changes. Though let’s face it, even those small changes in the office can create tension and make it difficult to get things done.

 

Dealing with upheaval at work isn’t hard, though, so long as you keep your head. The next time things get complicated, try these tried-and-true methods to get you back on track.

 

Stop

 

Sometimes the smarted thing you can do in a crisis is absolutely nothing at all. You need to stop and think, as an emotional reaction is going to cost you in the long run. Start by taking several deep breaths and think about what to do next. Not to mention you’ll win some bonus points if management notices you’re the one keeping calm and acting rationally.

 

Stay Positive

 

Getting caught up on the negative isn’t going to help anything. You’ll only spiral down into a cycle of blame and complaints, ending on a lot of finger-pointing or negative self-talk. This is the time to pull out a Pollyanna attitude. Sure, things went wrong, but if you can keep your optimism, you’re more likely to find the opportunity in all of this, which is worlds more productive, not just for you, but for your co-workers as well.

 

Learn from the Situation

 

Speaking of opportunity, any upheaval is fodder for a learning experience if you let it become one. Step back and look at the whole situation rationally. Look for the lessons, and then ask yourself how you can apply them to prevent the next time.

 

Talk to Your Co-Workers

 

At work, you have a rich resource just waiting to be used. Draw on the talents and abilities of those around you. By banding together and brainstorming, you’re more likely to come up with a viable solution than you ever would working alone.

 

Eye on the Prize

 

You have a particular goal in working where you do. Remember this goal now. What can you do at this moment, which will put you back on track toward your goal? How can the upheaval maybe benefit your long-term goal? Now might be the time to act.

 

Expect Disaster

 

Well, of course, things are going to go wrong sometimes. Situations change, and in any workplace, there are many moving parts to keep things going smoothly. By being prepared for the things which could go wrong, you can head off a lot of what might be an upheaval in the making.

 

How to Use 30 Minutes to Stop Worrying

Worry can derail an entire day if you let it. But did you know you had the power to stop it in just 30 minutes of your time, freeing up the rest of the day to really live your life? The answer is more straightforward than you think. 

 

When you become accustomed to worrying, you gain a constant stream of negative feedback and information in your brain. It’s like leaving the TV on to a channel designed to inform you of every worst-case scenario, only personalized to make all those dire predictions all about you.

 

Doesn’t sound like much fun, does it?

 

But by designating 30 minutes every day for worrying and allowing yourself to worry only during those 30 minutes, you gain back your day and your life simultaneously. 

 

You start by setting a ‘worry time.’ Once you have this half-hour firmly in place (put it on your calendar if you need to), you can start kicking every worrying thought to the curb. You tell it, ‘later.” and then refuse to let it near you again until it’s your designated worry break.

 

How do you do this? Try these quick steps:

 

Pick a Time

 

Grab a half hour when you’re not going to be busy. Be careful not to pick one too near bedtime, though, as it might interfere with your ability to sleep.

 

Become Conscious of Your Thoughts

 

Every time you have a worrying thought, tell it to go away until later. If it helps, jot the worry down somewhere, so you have a list to look at during your break.

 

Use a Timer

 

Worries can very quickly take over as much time as you give to them. By setting your timer to 30 minutes, you’re keeping control of just how much time you’re going to spend worrying.

 

Record Your Thoughts

 

Either write down your worries as you think about them, or if you like, journal about your thoughts during this time. Be as detailed as you like. This might also be an excellent time to examine your worries, to figure out if there’s a recurring pattern or theme. Dig down into the heart of what’s really troubling you.

 

Stop When the Timer Goes Off 

 

At the end of 30 minutes, you’re done. Any new worries now have to wait until tomorrow. Close the journal, throw away the paper, do what you need to close off the worrying for the day.

 

Repeat

 

Do every one of these steps every single day for at least two weeks. Why? Because it takes time to form a habit, which is what you’re really trying to do here. 

 

In the end, you’ll be amazed at how much freer you feel when you realize you don’t have to worry all day long. You’ll sleep better at night and be much more productive during the day. Not bad for an investment of only half an hour.

5 Steps To Defeat Perfectionism Once and For All

We all have moments where we fall into perfectionism. For some of us, this might happen kind of often. For others, it's reserved for those special occasions where we have a project where we can't rest until we get it right.

 

While occasional super-attention-to-detail is okay, it’s when we make perfectionism a way of life where it becomes a problem. Those are the times where we finally need to take charge of our lives and learn how to let go.

Try this:

 

Start at the Core

 

Why are you so wrapped up in perfectionism? Are you truly trying to become a better person somehow, or are you just trying to impress someone else or meet expectations from those around you? Neither of these reasons is very healthy, and both need to be addressed.

 

Drop the “Should”

 

The moment you start using this word in a conversation, especially regarding your action, you're already driving yourself crazy. Remind yourself you don’t need validation from anyone. You’re good just by being you.

 

Rewrite the Script

 

What are you telling yourself as you throw yourself into perfectionism? Do you think this is the path to success? Or do you have other unrealistic expectations of the outcome? Here's where you switch up your self-talk to get out of any negative spaces and unrealistic outcomes.

 

Drop the Comparisons

 

Speaking of self-talk, just who are you holding up as role models? Has this too become unhealthy, going from "I want to be more like them" to "Why can't I have everything they do?” Wouldn’t it feel better to celebrate where you are right now and all the effort you’ve been putting into things?

 

Show Some Mercy

 

Perfection never allows for excuses. If you can't succeed, you're automatically a failure. By chasing imperfection, you learn the value of self-forgiveness and the ability to let go of your mistakes in favor of embracing the lessons you can learn from them.

 

You wouldn’t think these steps are all so very important at first glance. After all, is chasing imperfection worthwhile?

 

The answer is a resounding, "Yes!" Perfection is what pulls us away from others and gets us so tangled up inside with worry and stress about getting things right; we negatively impact our mental and physical health. 

 

With this in mind, isn’t it time to let go and enjoy life once and for all?