How to Be Happier in Your Own Skin

You can change many things about your life, but your skin is not one of them. This is why you need to learn to be happier in your own skin. The problem is, this is often much easier said than done. Below are a few ways you can learn to be happier in the body you have.

 

Develop Positive Affirmations

 

Grab a stack of sticky notes and write down all the things you love about yourself. Then place these sticky notes in places where you will find them later. These places could be on your mirror, in your wallet, or even around your desk at work. Then every time you see them, you can be reminded of what an amazing person you are.

 

Quit Scrolling Social Media

 

Social media creates unrealistic expectations of the human body. If you feel uncomfortable in your skin because of social media, it's time to stop participating. Instead, it would be best to find more body-positive media to engage in, such as books, music, and TV shows that make you feel great about who you are.

 

Work On Your Body Language

 

Believe it or not, your body language can play a huge part in feeling comfortable in your own skin. Every time you find yourself hunched over with your arms folded, how does this make you feel? Not very good, right? Exactly. It's time to walk with your shoulders pulled back, and your head held high—you'll be surprised by how much this small change affects your mood.

 

Ensure You Love The Clothes You Wear

 

If you are wearing clothes which don't make you feel comfortable in your own skin, then it's time to get clothes that do! Aim to find clothes that fit you and are flattering for your body. This will help ensure you feel great about yourself. It can help if, while you are shopping, you resolve not to look at the sizes and rather try on things that look like they will fit you and decide from there. 

 

Being happier in your own skin is a lifelong journey that almost everyone on this earth must take. But you can make this task easier on yourself by developing positive affirmations, quitting social media, working on your body language, and buying clothes that make you feel confident.  Just don't forget that being positive about yourself and your body ultimately must come from within. 

 

Importance of Being Comfortable with Your Body

You aren't comfortable with your body, so what? Everyone struggles with body image now and then. However, you must be comfortable with your body for many reasons. 

 

You Can Let Go Of Perfection

 

One of the reasons you aren't comfortable with your body is because you are obsessed with perfection. Until you realize that your body is great just the way it is, you will continue to hold onto an unrealistic idea of perfection. If you can't let go of perfection, you will constantly be striving for something unattainable, and this can lead to undue stress and more serious conditions like depression. 

 

You Will Be More Productive

 

Believe it or not, it takes a lot of time and energy to not be comfortable in your body. You probably spend hours looking in the mirror and wishing certain parts would change, or even more time searching for procedures that will "fix" you. Once you are comfortable with yourself just the way you are, you'll be able to focus on the things that matter, making you more productive in numerous aspects of your life. 

 

You Will Become More Creative

 

Constant negativity about your body (or other life aspects, for that matter) hinders your creativity. Negativity hinders your creativity because you are so focused on what is wrong, you can't open up your mind to see what you could become. Once you decide that you are truly comfortable with your body, this will help you begin a new creative journey to make what you have work for you!

 

You’ll Be Happier

 

This one is easy. Once you let go of the unattainable ideas, you will see that you are accomplishing more -and better- things in your life. These accomplishments will give you a feeling of satisfaction and achievement, which are both major components of happiness. This means that by accepting that you are amazing just the way you are, you've already unlocked the secret to happiness! 

 

Being comfortable in your own body will never be easy, but it's important that you are. When you commit to being comfortable in your body, it will help you become more productive and creative. This new level of personal comfort will make you happier in the end. When you think about it, there is no reason not to start the journey to becoming comfortable in your own body today!

 

Why a Positive Body Image Leads to a Happier Life

Maybe you've thought about working on your body image, but you can't see the purpose. After all, it doesn't affect anyone besides you. But the truth is, having a positive body image can go a long way towards transforming your life to be happier and healthier.

 

You’ll Be More Successful

 

When you are consumed by thoughts about why you hate your body, this takes up your time and energy. Your time and energy could be better suited for another purpose, such as achieving your goals in life. As we all know, achieving goals is a major component of experiencing happiness. 

 

You Will Meet More People

 

Friends tend to come and go as you grow. If you aren't feeling good about your body, this may make it difficult for you to make new friends as an adult. Therefore, if you have a positive body image, you will feel more confident introducing yourself to others. This confidence means that you are much more likely to have more friends throughout your life. Having an awesome group of friends is also an important part of happiness - maybe one of the most important.

 

You’ll Have Less Fear Of New Things

 

Along these same lines, when you have a negative body image, this can keep you from trying things that take you out of your comfort zone. Thus, your negative body image could lead to you missing out on an amazing experience that would change your life. And trying new things is also an essential aspect of attaining happiness. 

 

You’ll Be Able To Love Yourself

 

It's critical that you can love yourself because you will be spending the rest of your life with yourself. You can run from toxic people in your life, but you can't run from yourself. If you have a negative body image, you will not love yourself no matter how brilliant your mind may be. Love your body, love yourself. It really is just that simple.

 

If you want to live a happy life, you must have a positive view of your body. This is because having a positive body image will help you achieve your goals and meet new people who could change your life. In addition, you'll be able to try new things without fear and learn to love yourself wholly and truly—and all of these things will lead to you having a much happier life.  

Why You Should Accept Your “Flaws”

People always tell you that you should accept your flaws, but accepting your flaws is easier said than done. There are many reasons you should work to accept your flaws that could change your life.

 

Flaws Are A Distraction

 

When you are so focused on the parts of you that aren't perfect, this will distract you from your goals in life. Then instead of pursuing your goals, you'll be too busy thinking about your flaws. So when you accept your flaws, this gives you more time to pursue your purpose in life. 

 

You’ll Feel Lighter

 

Flaws tend you weigh you down. They sit heavy on your mind and prevent you from feeling good about yourself. Once you accept yourself just as you are, flaws and all, you will feel like a weight had been lifted off your shoulders - and this is a great feeling.

 

It Will Give You Perspective

 

Flaws aren’t all bad. For example, one of your flaws could be that you always throw yourself into an assignment too completely, which takes away from your other projects. Although this isn't a good thing, there are several ways you can make this flaw work for you. First, you need to accept the flaw so that you can gain some perspective on how you can work with it. 

 

You’ll Be Mentally Healthier

 

Thinking negative thoughts all the time isn’t good for you. And if you are focusing on your flaws, these are likely negative thoughts. Constant negative thinking like this can lead to serious issues, even depression, if you leave them unchecked. Once you accept your flaws, some negative thinking will go away, which will help you have a much happier mentality.

 

You Can Embrace Others’ Flaws

 

Now that you've accepted your flaws, the cool thing is, it will be easier to embrace others' flaws. This will improve your relationships with others just by accepting your flaws. And who doesn't want to have a better relationship with your friends, family, and significant other?

 

Overall, accepting your flaws isn't going to be an easy journey, but many aspects of your life will change for the better once you accept them. You'll not only feel better, but you'll feel lighter and be able to use your flaws to your advantage. By embracing your flaws, you can then use them to help you achieve success in life.  

 

8 Steps to Creating Momentum in Your Life

Has your get up and go, got up and went?

 

Momentum is the magic driving us forward. The problem is, sometimes, things happen that suck the momentum right out of the day. Illness, family emergency, even just waking up on the wrong side of the bed can all combine to make your day feel unproductive before you even set foot on the floor. 

 

How, then, do you create momentum and get things moving again? Try these eight steps:

 

Dream Big

 

Before you can even begin, you need to know what you’re aiming to accomplish. Here’s where you’re going to find exactly what to zero in on as you move forward. But if this is truly the case, why would you think small? Believe it or not, you’ll achieve much more if you challenge yourself. This is inviting yourself to grow!

 

Stay Focused…and Positive

 

This should go without saying. Keeping your eye on the prize is the only way to stay motivated when you need the most. Remind yourself you’re going to achieve your goal. Try a pep talk if necessary. Why? Negative self-talk will always limit your ability to accomplish your goals. With the right mindset, you can go wherever you decide to go.

 

Look for Inspiration

 

Need a little bit more of a boost? Think about your heroes. Who has been down this path before? Look for inspiring quotes. Put on music that moves you. Read biographies of people you admire. Remind yourself if others have succeeded where you are, you can too.

 

Focus on Your Habits

 

What are the behaviors and mannerisms standing in your way? This would be a great time to break some bad habits and maybe start cultivating some good ones. Where to focus? Look for whatever pushes you toward good health, a positive mental attitude, and a day filled with accomplishments.

 

Learn

 

Speaking of habits, how about picking up some new skills? Taking time out to better your mind will make you sharper and more creative in the day-to-day. Learning is also crucial to positive brain health, enhancing cognition along with your skillset.

 

Take Chances

 

The only thing really holding you back is you. This isn’t the time to play it safe. When you see an opportunity, seize it. You’ll be surprised at the paths opening up before you.

 

Countdown to Bravery

 

Having a hard time with risk-taking after all? Try this: Do a countdown from 5 and just do it. There’s no time for doubt when you’re in the midst of making things happen. The cool part? Acting brave tends to lead to honest-to-goodness real courage. Yes, that’s you out there doing something amazing.

 

Try, Try Again

 

In the end, if things don’t work, it’s ok. The main thing is not to lose the momentum you just created. Jump in there and start all over again, taking with you the lessons you’ve learned along the way.

 

5 Signs You Might Be a People Pleaser

Has someone told you that you are a people pleaser? It might be true, but it's a good idea to get a second opinion if you aren't sure. Below are 5 signs that you might be a people pleaser - consider these to be your "second opinion." 

 

1. You Can’t Say No

 

Your friend has asked you for a favor for the 10^th time. Your boss just asked you to stay late again. Both of your divorced parents want to see you for the holidays. A people-pleaser says yes to all of these people because they can't seem to say no to anyone.

 

Not saying no means you are definitely a people pleaser, especially when you say yes to things that you know aren't going to work out. 

 

2. You Constantly Wonder What Others Think

 

Are you always worried that your friends might hate you? Or that your significant other doesn't see you in the way you want them to see you? These anxious thoughts are a sure sign of people-pleasing behavior. Thoughts like these cause you to please others before taking care of yourself.

 

3. You Feel You Never Have You Time

 

Self-care is important, and most people-pleasers find they simply don't have the time. Mostly because they are too busy saying yes to everyone else. Take a look at your schedule. Do you have time penciled in just for you? If not, you're probably a people pleaser. 

 

4. You Feel Bad Saying No

 

Okay, so maybe you can say no, and you have before. However, did you feel bad or guilty when you said it? You have every right to say no, and you shouldn't feel bad doing it. If you do, this is another sign that you are a people-pleaser. 

 

5. You Constantly Apologize

 

Are you always apologizing for everything, even stuff that may not be your fault? This isn't healthy and means that you are probably a people-pleaser. People-pleasers want people to like them no matter what, which can lead to them apologizing for things they didn't just to make sure they stay in the person's good graces. 

 

Did you find that three or more of these things described you and how you feel? If so, you are likely a people pleaser. If you don't want to damage your own health pleasing others, it's definitely time to accept that you are a people pleaser and begin looking for help to overcome your people-pleasing ways. 

 

How Can I Stop Being a People Pleaser?

Have you recently come to realize that you are a people pleaser? Don't worry. This is a common revelation. But now that you've realized you are a people pleaser, it's time to stop being one for your own health and sanity. 

 

Below are some ways you can learn to stop being a people pleaser. 

 

Set Boundaries

 

The most important step to stopping your people-pleasing ways is to establish boundaries in your relationships. Of course, different relationships will have different boundaries, but they need to be there regardless. For example, if your significant other asks you to do something extra because they have a busy week ahead, this might be okay, but if your friend does this all the time, it might be time to draw the line. 

 

Take Small Steps

 

Chances are, you aren't going to stop being a people pleaser overnight. Being a people pleaser has probably been ingrained in your mind since you were young. Therefore, you should start small instead of changing everything at once. To begin with, you can set some simple boundaries that shouldn't offend anyone. For example, let someone know you aren't available during work hours. 

 

Set Goals For Yourself

 

It's important, as you stop being a people pleaser, that you have a clear direction for yourself to stop from sliding back into your people-pleasing ways. You should make goals of who you want to devote your time to and what you want to accomplish in life. It is common for people-pleasers to feel as if they need to please their parents to the point where they neglect their romantic relationships. If this sounds like you, your goal should be to devote more of your time to your significant other and less to your parents. 

 

Engage in Positive Self-Talk

 

People pleasers feel good about themselves when they do something nice for someone else, and as you leave your people-pleasing ways, you will likely be missing this positive reinforcement. This is why you need to create it for yourself. Every time you establish a boundary and keep it, tell yourself you did a good job and that you are doing something good for yourself—because it may not feel as good as people-pleasing does at first.

 

Overall, the road to leaving your people-pleasing ways isn't going to be without struggle. But if you use the above tips, you'll find that you are actually enjoying doing something for yourself rather than people-pleasing all the time. Before you know it, your people-pleasing days will be nothing but a distant memory. 

 

How Does People Pleasing Hurt Us?

Maybe you've recently discovered that you are a people pleaser. What is so wrong with that? You like to make others happy! 

 

The truth is, people-pleasing is a damaging behavior for several reasons. Keep reading to learn more about the dangers of people-pleasing and how it may be hurting you. 

 

People Pleasing Can Damage Your Physical Health

 

When you take on risks and activities you aren't comfortable with just to make someone else happy, you are being a people-pleaser. These risks and activities can lead to physical damage.

 

Here is a question, have you ever gotten hurt doing something stupid to impress somebody? Yeah, don't worry - we all have.  

 

You Can Damage Your Mental Health

 

Besides your physical health, your mental health is in jeopardy when you constantly people-please. As a people pleaser, you often don't make enough time to care for yourself, and self-care is essential for maintaining mental health. When you disregard your mental health for too long, this can cause serious conditions like burnout and depression. 

 

You May Get Into a Toxic Relationship

 

People pleasers don't know how to say no, and sadly, there are people out there that will take advantage of this fact. Namely - toxic people who like to control others. Toxic relationships are unhealthy, as they frequently contain mental - or even physical - abuse.

 

It is extremely difficult to leave toxic relationships, so difficult in fact that many people don't get out soon enough. If you are a constant people-pleaser, you will find it harder to spot (and listen to) the signs indicating someone is toxic. 

 

You Won't Be As Successful

 

In addition to all the physical and mental damage, people-pleasing can cause, it also keeps you from achieving your dreams. You are so focused on saying yes to others and making them happy that you put what you need to do on the backburner. This means that someday you could come to realize you are working a job that you hate in a city you hate—all because you couldn't say no and tell others that you needed to focus on yourself. 

 

As you can see, being a people pleaser is quite dangerous all around. It hurts your physical and mental health and keeps you from success. So if you want to live a happy and healthy life filled with success, it's time to stop being a people pleaser right away. 

7 Reasons Why You Don’t Set Boundaries and How to Start

You’ve gotten roped into staying late at work. Again. Or you’ve committed to something that you didn't want to but felt you had to. Now you’re beating yourself up because you know you should have better boundaries, but you don’t seem to understand how to form them. What do you do?

 

First, you need to realize that having problems setting boundaries is normal. We have a lot of reasons why we don’t like setting boundaries:

 

1. Fear. The number one reason we don’t do anything is generally fear. When you don’t know what the outcome is going to be when you first set that boundary, it’s bound to be terrifying.

 

2. It would be selfish. After all, why should your needs come before anyone else’s?

 

3. Taking care of yourself is unusual. This point is an extension of the last one. Not only is self-care selfish, but it would take time and resources from caring for others. Forgetting of course, that we can’t take care of anyone if we don’t take care of ourselves first.

 

4. Someone’s going to get mad at you. Which of course will lead to conflict and maybe even a confrontation. You might find yourself thinking that setting a boundary in these situations is just not worth it. 

 

5. Doing it the other way is a habit. It might be that you’re used to being asked to stay late at work – every day. Now it’s a habit to stay. The problem is, habits are hard to break, which means setting that boundary doesn’t just involve putting your foot down but changing an entire way of thinking. 

 

6. There’s a price to pay for saying ‘no.’ If other people trample over your needs to get their own needs met, then when you do say no, you know there’s going to be a negative repercussion. And who needs that kind of commotion in your life?

 

7. It’s not all that important anyway. Is it? That has more to do with self-esteem than anything. And yes, your boundaries are just that important.

 

So how do you go about setting boundaries when that’s unusual for you?

 

• Start by asking for what you want – and be specific.

• Be open to compromise.

• Have an exit strategy if they say ‘no.’ What will you accept?

• Be ready emotionally for a negative response. Not everything will be a ‘yes.’

• Don’t take rejection personally.  

 

Boundaries don’t have to be terrifying. Understanding why you don’t set them is the first step toward establishing positive change. When you use what you know to set solid boundaries for yourself, you will discover peace and happiness that you never knew was even possible.

5 Strategies for Guarding Your Personal Boundaries

Imagine an invisible fence set around yourself, with a single gate that is shut and locked, with only you in possession of the key. How does that make you feel?

 

When we have good personal boundaries, then we’ve set a space around us that we control. We tell those around us they can go only so far, and no further. Not that we’re alone, but it’s up to us to open the gate, and we get to decide who comes in.

 

The problem is, the world has a way of pushing against that fence. There will always be people who want more of your time, more of your energy. More of you. Thankfully there are things you can do to guard those boundaries and keep them strong.

 

1. Identify your limits. It’s impossible to guard what you haven’t even defined. The trick here is to define those limits clearly and succinctly. For example, you might want to protect some time with your family. But a boundary too vague is impossible to protect. But by clarifying the goal down to “Saturday’s are family time” then you know what you’re protecting (time with your family). So, with things that do come up on Saturday which do not involve the family, it's suddenly not so difficult to say no. 

 

2. Be straightforward. Never let someone push your boundaries without your permission. And when it does happen, take direct and clear action immediately. Anytime your boundaries are threatened, it’s time to open a dialogue with the violator. That gives you the opportunity to verbally reset the boundary in a way that makes it clear to the other person that the boundary is there. 

 

3. Pay attention to your feelings. If you’re feeling like someone is violating your boundaries, ask yourself why. Go with your gut instinct here as you analyze your emotions. It’s very likely that what you’re sensing is a boundary violation that you need to address.

 

4. Speak up. When you feel like your boundaries are being violated, you need to say something. After all, the best guard challenges all intruders. Being assertive now will save you a lot of heartache and problems down the road later.

 

5. Remind yourself that you have a right to set boundaries. Sometimes our boundaries have grown weak because we don’t feel like we have a right to set them in the first place. Permitting yourself to set the boundary will immediately strengthen it again.

 

Guarding your boundaries is an important part of living a life that’s not only healthy and happy but meaningful. Self-confident, strong people have solid boundaries that they protect. Protecting your boundaries is probably one of the most effective tools you have toward realizing a happy and productive life.

What are Personal Boundaries and Why We Need Them

You’ve probably heard the phrase before, but maybe you’re unsure what it means. Just what ARE personal boundaries, and what difference do they make in your life?

 

To understand a personal boundary, you have to understand what a boundary is. Let’s start at the dictionary and go from there:

 

bound·a·ry (noun)

a line that marks the limits of an area; a dividing line.

 

Most boundaries are pretty easy to see. The world is full of fences and dividers, clearly marking off space. A personal boundary does the same thing – only on a more invisible and internal level. Let’s look at this on a little closer.

 

What are boundaries?

 

1. A boundary tells you what your responsibility is in a given situation. You already have some boundaries at work or school. These are the parameters of your job or your responsibility as a student and usually are marked out pretty clearly when you took the job or where enrolled. On a personal level, a boundary tells you who you’re responsible for (yourself of course, but you might also be a caregiver). But what about your other responsibilities such as paying your bills, or taking care of your pets?

 

2. A boundary keeps you safe. Many of these should go without saying – such as abstaining from drinking and driving. But sometimes you have to set some such boundaries for yourself. Such as whether or not it’s healthy to be in a relationship with a certain individual.

 

3. A boundary tells us who we are.  Are you a good person? A bad person? A selfish person? A pious one? Our moral code becomes the boundary that defines us.

 

4. A boundary clarifies your needs. What things need to be in place in your life for you to be happiest and healthiest? What protects you for overwork or abuse?

 

5. A boundary defines your relationships. What are the parameters of your relationship? Is that healthy? What is your responsibility to that other person? How are they responsible for you?

 

With all that, it makes sense that having strong boundaries is a good idea. Especially when you take into consideration these facts:

 

Boundaries…

 

…give you a better idea of who you are

…help others to understand your needs

…give guidelines in your relationships

…make for healthy interactions with other people

 

And perhaps most important of all, they are an integral part of self-care.

 

As a side note remember this: Boundaries need to be revisited occasionally and re-evaluated. As we grow and change, our boundaries will change as well. 

 

With all this at stake, it’s no wonder we give boundaries such a lot of attention. Boundaries can mean the difference between a happy and healthy life and a life of drudgery and resentment. 

 

Is it time to learn where to draw the line?