5 Tips for More Effective Conflict Resolution

Conflicts are bound to happen, whether at home, at work, or in between. Unfortunately, what can start as something trivial can quickly escalate to something much more serious in a matter of minutes.

 

That’s why it pays to know how to effectively resolve any conflict you find yourself in. This way, you can create some healthy boundaries and balance your emotions without creating unnecessary stress and anxiety.

 

Here are five tips for more effective conflict resolution that will help you out of any jam. Take a look.

 

Tip #1: Find the Source of the Conflict

 

The first step in conflict resolution is to identify the source of the problem. Once you identify the issue, you can start taking the right measures toward fixing it.

 

On the other hand, if you carry on without knowing exactly why you’re feeling the way you do, you’ll be angry and all worked up without really knowing why.

 

So, while it may seem like a waste of time at first, if you think about it, you can’t solve any problem unless you first find the source of the problem.

 

Here’s another way of looking at it:

 

When you identify the root cause of the issue, everyone involved can help strive towards not repeating the same thing in the future.

 

Tip #2: Find a Quiet and Safe Place to Talk

 

Once you understand the underlying causes of the conflict, it’s time to bring in the other person if you haven’t already. The thing about conflict is that you have to nip it in the bud and address it in a timely manner, so it doesn’t manifest into something bigger over time.

 

Remember that there’s nothing wrong with having a difference of opinion every now and then. Yet, it’s how you communicate that makes all the difference in the world!

 

However, we’ve all been in similar situations and it can be daunting to try and engage in this type of discourse. Yet, you have to muster up the courage and just start because the sooner you deal with it, the better the outcome will be.

 

Tip #3: Actively Listen

 

Active listening plays a big role in determining the way your conflict resolution proceeds. So, you have to be patient when it’s the other person’s turn to speak.

 

Write down any rebuttals that pop into your head to avoid interrupting them.

 

Show that you respect the other person’s emotions and point of view. This way, they’ll make it a point to try and do the same when it’s your turn to speak.

 

Tip #4: Point Out Ways to Solve the Problem

 

After each person has had their chance to talk and listen, the next step is to try and find some sort of middle ground that both parties can agree on.

 

You’ll probably need a pen and paper or a board to write down your ideas. Then start brainstorming.

 

Write out all the ideas that come, even the crazy ones. Those are usually the ones that lead to an effective end to the problem.

 

Although, there’s one critical thing to always remember when working to resolve any conflict, and that’s to only focus on the issue at hand and not the person.

 

This will help make the other person feel safe enough to start finding ways to solve the issue, rather than always be on the defensive or feel like they’re constantly being judged.

 

Tip #5: Agree on the Best Solution

 

Finding common ground can be easier said than done. It requires each party to own up to their part of the conflict.

 

Not only that, but it also means they have to put in the effort of looking for a suitable compromise. Plus, they have to take the necessary steps to resolve it and make sure it doesn’t happen again.

 

That can only take place once all parties have set clear expectations while respecting the other person’s differences. Also, it’s helpful to think of conflict as an opportunity to grow. When it’s managed properly, it can bring great insight and help you become more attuned to your needs and the needs of those around you.

 

The good news is that after opening up communication lines, taking the time to listen, and collaborating on solutions, it’s all downhill from there. It becomes easier to establish neutral ground where everyone feels comfortable speaking and sharing ideas.

 

Bringing Out The Best In Others

When you take the time to bring out the best in others, you may find that it is enough to change the world. Everyone has something that makes them unique and special, something that makes them stand out from the crowd. But not everyone knows what that is or how to find their unique talents. They may assume that they are not as good as others and their self-esteem is going to falter as well. 

 

You could be the change that will help them to see the best in themselves, the champion behind them that will never let them fall behind. Some of the ways that you can bring out the best in others include:

 

Be Generous

 

To start, you need to be generous. Give others your time and energy. Even more importantly, give them the benefit of the doubt. Believe in them, even when they fail or stumble and struggle to believe in themselves. It takes no talent to believe in someone who is already reaching their goals and knocking down all the walls. The hard thing is to see some of the talents that are buried deep inside someone, especially when that person doesn’t even know that talent is there. 

 

Be Open-Minded

 

Talent can take a lot of different forms and it can bring someone into unusual situations. Many of the most talented people you may meet throughout your life will be completely different than you. For example, maybe you like to have things quiet and this person likes to be loud and outgoing. The greatest talent in seeing the best in others is to get past some of your own biases. Kick that to the curb and see what a difference it makes. 

 

Be Clear

 

When you want to bring out the best in others, your role is to be clear and interact with other people. If you want to do this, you need to collaborate, foster talent, and be there for the other person. You don’t have to be the most capable or the smartest or the best person in the room. You just need to be clear and ready to listen and learn along the way. Let the other person know that you value them and would like to be there for them as they learn more about their talents as well. 

 

Be Persistent

 

It is never easy when it is time to foster talent. The other person can get discouraged and often distracted. They can come to rely on you to do most of the work, rather than taking on the initiative and using some of their talents and skills. This is natural because finding talent can be difficult and some people may get discouraged. Your goal is to be persistent with them and not let them give up at all. You can be there to help others, but your job is not to do the work for them. With some good persistence, you will be able to help them reach their goals and they will be proud that they put in the work themselves. 

 

Be Present

 

You need to pay attention and be present to spot the talent in other people. You need to be able to find some of the smallest clues because most people don’t know their talents and so will not show them off to you in the process. You have to be curious to learn more about that person and then be present enough to show that you care and want to be there for them as well. The greater your ability to pay attention, the more talent you can find for other people. 

 

The Stress Relieving Value of Accepting Your Differences

Were you ever teased as a child? A lot of us were. Some kids will make fun of others who are fatter or skinnier, taller or shorter, or different in some other way. They, unfortunately, learn this behavior from adults who likewise chastise their colleagues, friends, and others for nothing more than being different.

 

This becomes a big problem when several children attack another child and declare some difference to be negative. When this behavior is ongoing, the different child can begin to feel low self-worth. After all, if everyone is telling her that she's different and that her differences aren't good, they must be right.

 

Why else would they all be saying the same thing? That child becomes upset with the person she sees in the mirror. Why is she overweight? Why is her skin different from others? Why wasn't she given the intelligence that all her friends have? This leads to self-doubt, low self-esteem, and in some cases, risky and unsafe behavior.

 

Stress Is a Killer, but It Doesn't Have To Be

 

Obviously, that's a very stressful scenario. Unfortunately, this is a common situation for not just children but teens, young adults, and even older grown-ups.

 

It causes so much stress, both physical and mental. The stress starts to build up because the differences are seen as negative. The marvelous, unique individual that was created is not allowed to be who they really are. They try not to be themselves.

 

On the physiological side of the equation, this chronic stress produces chemicals that lead to anxiety, depression, and other negative feelings. Ask any doctor, and they'll tell you stress is related to most chronic illnesses and many major causes of death.

 

Your differences don't have to be stressful. They shouldn't be. When you embrace who you are, you realize you have much to offer the world. You're fine just like you are right now. This leads to confidence and less stress. You aren't as anxious about trying to please others by fitting into some silly idea they have of who you should be.

 

Your confidence and self-esteem go up when you accept and love your differences. 

 

You'll also find that certain people in your life want to manipulate you rather than accept who you are. Perhaps you should move on from these people and spend more time with supportive individuals who encourage your uniqueness.

 

Be happy with who you are. You're the only "you" that will ever be created. There will never be another human being exactly like you. When you embrace that fact and look at your differences as advantages, you'll suffer less stress and anxiety and enjoy more self-love, fulfillment, and success.

 

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10 Public Speaking Tips (Infographic)

 

5 Characteristics of Ambitious People

Many of us wish we knew the secret formula to being ambitious and driven. Why are some people so determined to make it that they work on weekends and holidays, while others are a bit laid back and easy-going?

 

That’s what we’re here today to find out. We asked successful people in several fields, and they all agreed on one thing: no one is born ambitious. Instead, it’s something that takes time, patience, and a lot of hard work.

 

Interested in finding out more? Scroll down for our list of five characteristics of ambitious people.

 

They Avoid Negativity

 

Ambitious people seem to be always in motion. They take whatever stressors their day brings and harness it to create something good, like more ambition.

 

Yet, they’ve trained themselves to be good at staying in balance. They don’t allow their emotions to take over their thoughts and actions.

 

With each bump in the road, they breathe and look at things from a clearer perspective.

They avoid getting sucked into the vortex of negative self-take, self-doubt, and indecision—all of which are the enemies of ambition. These negative emotions keep you from seeing your true potential because you’re afraid you’ll mess up or not measure up.

 

However, your only true competitor is yourself. So, focus on your goals, then strive to be better than you were last week. That’s all anyone expects of you.

 

They Invest in Personal Growth

 

Motivated people know the value of personal growth. They know that there’s a whole world of knowledge out there we still don’t know anything about.

 

So, they never settle. They’re always on the hunt for the next thing to help them improve in all areas of their life.

 

This doesn’t just have to be taking online classes and attending seminars. Many self-improvement techniques are free of charge.

 

One of the ways you can invest in yourself is by getting good, quality sleep every night. It’s also about eating right and working out several times a week.

 

The point is to make yourself a priority. Then, pretty quickly, others will take notice and see you as a priority as well.

 

They Surround themselves with Like-Minded People

 

Jim Rohn once said, “You’re the average of the five people you spend the most time with.” In other words, if you want to be more ambitious, you need to be around people who are doing the same.

 

No, it doesn’t mean that you have to replace your friends. But it does mean you need to have people in your life with the right frame of mind to encourage you to be better and do better.

 

These are usually the ones who know what they want and aren’t afraid to go after it. If there’s a mentor you know or some kind of role model, then make an effort to spend more time with them.

 

Also, try to make friends with successful people in various fields, not just the ones you’re interested in. We’re creatures of habit, so whatever makes them successful will soon rub off on you.

 

They Set Well-Defined Goals

 

It’s not just about the task of setting goals. Anyone can make a list of goals they want to achieve in the next week.

 

What ambitious people have become good at is breaking down their goals into smaller, more manageable tasks that they can actually achieve. Not only that, but they have a certain level of self-confidence that allows them to push through even when they don’t feel like it.

 

Say you’re thinking about starting a professional blog. Avoid the urge to jump right in and try to do everything at once. Instead, give yourself daily targets to hit.

 

Get a large calendar and pencil in one thing you want to get done for the next 30 days. These don’t have to be fancy or anything grand. They just have to motivate you enough to get you to the next day’s target, and so on, until you reach your big goal at the end of the month.

 

They’re not Afraid to Take Risks

 

Everyone is always telling you how rewarding it can be to step outside your comfort zone. Yet, taking risks doesn’t have to be daunting or scary.

 

You don’t have to climb a mountain or go swimming with the sharks or anything like that—unless, of course, that’s where your ambition lies.

 

We’re simply suggesting that in order to be ambitious and motivated, you have to be willing to make mistakes. You have to be okay with taking work-related risks and seeing which ones will pan out and which ones will flop.

 

If they pay off, then great! Take it in, be proud of your accomplishments, then move on to the next big risk.

 

If it doesn’t pay off, then use it as a learning experience. Grow from it, understand what went wrong, then move on to something different.

 

It won’t be easy, but you’ll come out stronger, wiser, and more motivated to do more.

 

Journal Your Way to Self-Worth

Journaling is a fantastic way to build your self-worth. It’s a well-established practice in therapy and psychology, and it works equally well for children and adults. Journaling can be art or writing or a collage or a combination of whatever feels right for you. 

 

There is a range of prompts to help you get over the fear of the blank page or to help you get over those ‘um, I don’t know’ moments. This article provides a few suggestions, but once you get into the swing of journaling, the ideas will flow!

 

• You can make it easier to break-through the ‘bashful barrier’ if you find it hard to find positive things to say - you can start at the back of the journal and work forward, write in a spiral or turn your book sideways or upside-down. 

 

• Write in your happiest memories and include photos of parties, holidays and loved ones. You can make timelines of the best days in your life that make you feel proud of yourself, like graduation, your first job, your first solo car trip. Work over multiple or fold-out pages, make double-spreads, include photos as well.

 

• You can use affirmations to remind yourself of your positive traits, for example

o   I am kind 

o   I am good at…

o   People really like my…

o   I’m proud I can…

o   I am loved by…

o   I feel good when…

 

• Think of three things your Inner Critic finds fault with and consciously turn them around – write down the positive in your journal. You can use your journal as a way of visualizing your goals – what do you want to achieve, feel or do today, this week, by Christmas? 

 

• You can also make your journal a beautiful object – go to an art store and buy your favorite colors in a range of media – pencils, watercolors, collage papers, stamps. Use glitter, stickers, puff paints – you can go wild and treat your inner child. Your book about you will reflect all the colors within. Or maybe you’d prefer something more minimalist – make your journal a thing of monochrome beauty, use lovely rich Japanese inks, textured papers, graphite. Experiment with pens, pencils, and brushes – see how many different lines you can make. 

 

Make journaling a happy activity. Something that you enjoy working on and reading. And then when you do have times when you’re not feeling so good about yourself, you have a tangible object to look at to defeat your Inner Critic.

Top Tips for Staying Inspired According to Life Coaches

The job of a life coach is relatively unique. It’s a heavy responsibility to act as both guide and guru to help keep your clients on track toward achieving their goals. That’s why it’s so important to stay motivated – especially when your day job is in motivating others on a fairly regular basis.

 

How do life coaches stay inspired? We can each take a page from their book to keep motivated and fulfilled in our lives. 

 

1. Life coaches set firm boundaries. You can't take on your client's lives or problems. Maintaining a professional distance is essential not just for the health of the client, who needs to learn how to succeed on their own, but also for the mental health of those doing the guiding.

 

How can you apply this to your own life? Are there people in your life who expect too much of you? Do you always give in? Learn why boundaries are important and how you can set them in a loving, yet firm way.

 

2. Life coaches remember to put themselves first once in a while. There's a lot to be said for ‘me time.' For someone who lives by inspiration, you must ensure you consistently replenish your energy, and your natural positivity is at the fore. That is crucial for success.

 

What does this mean for you? Take time for a massage or bubble bath. Read things that inspire. Schedule a date with yourself, where you concentrate entirely on you. Repeat as often as necessary to keep your mood positive.

 

3. Find a friend. Going it alone is never easy. Having someone you can turn to is healthy and necessary. Life coaches understand that too much time alone can lead to depression. We all need others to keep us inspired to move ahead.

 

A life coach would tell us we need to take time for close relationships too. Feeling connected and supported naturally leads to staying in a positive mental space, even when times are tough.

 

5. Journal about it. A life coach well knows the value of journaling. A gratitude journal keeps you focused on the positive things that happen each day so you can draw upon those experiences later as you need. 

 

For you, find the magic that lies in writing about the things that go right, that you're thankful about daily. A grateful heart breeds inspiration and keeps you from exploring the negativity just because others are.

 

You don't have to be a life coach to stay confident and inspired. But you can use their tricks to keep positivity high in your own life. Staying inspired isn't all that hard. It's mostly about remaining aware of the world around you and remembering to look for the good first in all things.

 

Top 4 Reasons Why You Should Aspire to Inspire Others

How many people do we come into contact with every day? Think about it. You talk to your co-workers or classmates. You brush up against how many strangers from the clerk in the grocery store to the barista who made you that cup of coffee? We spend time with friends, or we go out and do things with the expectation of meeting new people. It’s probably safe to say that in a week you've probably interacted with, at least on some level, a hundred people, most of which you barely talked to at all.

 

But what if you were capable of taking those interactions deeper, to the level of something special. Unique. What if you could inspire someone else, and indeed make a difference in their lives? 

 

It's a powerful thought. Of course, you can’t change every interaction – it would be impossible to get anything done if you did. But when you stop to think about the value that you bring to the world, the things that you know and understand in ways that no one else does, there comes the point where you have to ask, what if you could share that with someone else?

 

In short, what if you could be inspiring? It’s not as hard as you think. Here are four ways that will hopefully convince you that yes, you should “aspire to inspire.”

 

1. You can help someone realize their potential. Personal growth is a fascinating process. As you get to know people, you get to see them in their highs and lows. It’s where those lows occur where you can find an opportunity. A word of encouragement at the right time might be just what they need to labor on and overcome a challenge. 

 

2. It’s life-changing – for both you and them. Personal growth culminates in those tremendous moments where you might be just the person to inspire someone to change their path entirely or to consider a course of action that they might not have before.

 

3. The world becomes a better place. OK, maybe this seems a little over the top but think about it for a minute. That person you inspired might go on to encourage someone else. Or may build something or do something amazing. Imagine now that all of that started with you. Like ripples in a pond after a rock is thrown into the water, you never know just how far that influence will spread, and what shore those ripples will eventually touch. 

 

4. YOU change. Remember that you're not in it to see what you can get out of it. Inspiring others though has a way of rewarding you both personal fulfillment and growth. In the end, you’re not going to be the same person you were anymore. That kind of satisfaction comes with a unique special kind of happiness.

 

Aspiring to Inspire is a fantastic process. Give it a try – you'll be amazed at where you end up. 

 

Why You Should Choose Inspiration Over Motivation

Inspiration and motivation are not the same things. There is an argument that they are quite the opposite from one another. Inspiration is a strong desire to create, to reach out and make something or do something that never existed before. Motivation is a general willingness or the reason for an action.

 

What’s the difference? It’s all in how we express it. Motivated people charge forward, not letting anyone stop them or interfere with their process. Inspiration, on the other hand, pulls other in your wake and drags them along. With motivation, you grab the vision and run with it. With inspiration, the idea grabs hold of you.

 

Have you ever had an inspiration? You can probably remember every detail, the time it hit, the idea behind it, the way it felt. With motivation, that comes and goes and maybe you remember the project that came from it, but not in the fine detail that inspiration leaves on you.

 

And that is probably the most significant difference. Motivation wears out. Often it runs out long before the project is over. Inspiration can last a lifetime and take you to new horizons you’d never thought of before.

 

Motivation is like the coach that yells about “getting up,” “hitting harder,” “running faster.” It’s the push that we need to get over the initial slump or over that mid-point. Inspiration doesn’t need a push or a press. Inspiration is more like finding a new perspective, a fresh eye where you’ve never known existed.

 

You cannot teach inspiration; it can’t be passed on from one person to another. Inspiration comes indirectly, stealing into our thoughts when we don’t expect it when we’re clear-headed and often concentrating on something else.

 

Motivation is the drive to bring creation to reality, to finish the project, but inspiration is the birth of creativity. Inspiration can be a life-changing event that completely realigns your perspective on a permanent basis. 

 

Motivation is independent of passion. Motivation is often a replacement for passion; inspiration is passion at its most raw. Inspiration is an idea, a vision that takes hold and never let's go. People who are inspired are more likely to succeed, more likely to influence others.

 

Being motivated to a task typically does not motivate another. Being inspired, on the other is contagious. Inspired people catch others in their passion and create inspiration in them. It’s easy to get caught up in a dream and then dream your vision, making inspiration the more valuable of the two.

 

4 Ways Introverts Can Enjoy More Social Confidence

We used the word "enjoy" in that title for a reason. Social confidence is important for building relationships. This is true of the introvert, the extrovert and the average person who is somewhere between those two personality extremes.

 

You can enjoy a much more successful career when you have powerful social skills. Your personal relationships benefit. The person who's confident when interacting with others has a high level of self-esteem. They enjoy a powerful self-belief that they are capable in social situations.

 

That's not to say that introverts don't have wonderful and rewarding lives. They simply have a view of their best life that's different from an extroverted person.

 

By the way, it's often believed that introverts despise interacting with people. That's almost never the case. It's simply that they would prefer to spend more time on their own. That's how they recharge their batteries. The extroverted person does the same thing by spending a lot of time with other people. Each of these individuals is different in many ways, and no one approach is worse or better than the other.

 

That having been said, introverts often want better skills at socializing. They understand they can improve some aspect of their life if they had more confidence when dealing with people. If this sounds like you, we're here to help. Here are 4 ways that have been proven to help introverts build confidence in social settings.

 

1. Don't Overdo It

 

Introverts can enjoy socializing just as much as introverts. In many cases they do. The difference is that the introverted person loses physical and mental energy from socializing too frequently or for too long. 

 

If you want to perform better in social situations, limit your exposure. Pick your battles. Don't try to drink from a fire hydrant. Plan short periods of time where you're going to expand your social skills over the next week or month. When you feel your energy starts to wane, return home or wherever it is you feel most comfortable recharging your batteries.

 

2. Prepare Ahead of Time

 

You might be an introvert that doesn't have much experience interacting with others. That's okay. You can learn how to socialize. Do some prep work before you know you're going to deal with others. 

 

Think of the conversation beforehand. What's the environment going to be like? Who's going to be there? This type of homework can help you succeed in social situations and become more confident and capable.

 

3. Remember … Rome Wasn't Built in a Day

 

The old saying that it took a long time to build one of the greatest civilizations in human history is important here. Big accomplishments don't happen overnight. If you are extremely introverted, work on one step at a time to become more of a social animal. 

 

Maybe the first thing you want to do is get comfortable leaving your house. You might leave your home and walk 100 feet down the road and then return home. If that's a big deal for you, give yourself a huge pat on the back!

 

You did great. Once you're comfortable leaving home, then strike up a conversation with a stranger. Take one small step at a time and before you know it you'll have walked a mile down the road to improving your social skills.

 

4. Look at Rejection like a Successful Salesperson

 

The best salespeople get excited when they hear, "No." They know that every rejection gets them closer to making their next sale. You can look at social rejection the same way. See the situation objectively. What can you learn? What did you do right? What did you do wrong? Take rejection or social failure as an opportunity to get better, and then move on.

 

Introverts aren't necessarily scared of people. They usually aren't. They just prefer to spend a minimal amount of time in the presence of others. If this is you, and you want to build your social confidence, the tips we just shared with you can help. They make you feel more comfortable when interacting with people. You'll also be proud of yourself for stepping out of your comfort zone.

Misconceptions About Negotiating

The pervasive perception of negotiation in the West is more negative than it is in most other places in the world. We imagine men screaming at each other across a boardroom table, spittle flying. But that’s not what negotiation really looks like if you are doing it right. The goal of negotiation is for both parties to get what they want. The aim is to reach a win-win. There are several misconceptions about negotiating that we would like to straighten out here and now.

 

It’s too combative - As mentioned above, negotiation shouldn’t be aggressive or nasty. You don’t need to view it as a competition or confrontation because it’s not. Instead, bargaining is simply an exchange of points and offers. 

 

It’s only for cheapskates - More people are watching their pennies nowadays, and one way to improve your wealth is to negotiate, especially on high ticket items. Why pay more than you need to? How do you think people with a lot of money in the bank got there? No doubt, part of their strategy was to negotiate the price of things when appropriate.

 

It’s improper - Especially in the case of high ticket items, sales people expect you to try to negotiate price. If you own a house, for example, did you settle on the asking price or did you offer less? Same with a car. Most car dealerships state their highest price, knowing that people will ask for something lower. If they get their asking price, all the better. But they don’t expect it. It’s not improper to save money.

 

It takes a certain type of personality - This misconception goes back to believing that negotiating is aggressive. Though it may feel less than comfortable in the beginning, some practice can take care of that. Even shy people can learn to negotiate. It’s a skill that can be learned, not necessarily something you are born with.

 

It’s not worth the time or money - Again, in the case of expensive purchases, it can be well worth your time to negotiate price. Many people who are selling something, whether a company or an individual on Craig’s List set their price high, expecting to bargain. Is it worth your time to shave a few car payments off the life of your car loan? If not, it should be.

 

It’s embarrassing - This misconception is rooted in the fact that most people are uncomfortable negotiating. But all it takes is some practice. You also won’t negotiate on everything you buy. The kid checking you out at a fast food place or movie theater isn’t going to knock down the price. But the salesman trying to sell you a dishwasher probably would. Knowing when to bargain and then practicing it is all that is needed to end the embarrassment.