5 Steps to Embracing Your Loneliness

Loneliness is something most people try to avoid. But being alone is an inevitable part of life. It happens to everyone at some time or another. It is important to be able to separate solitude from loneliness and to understand what is behind your feelings so you can embrace being alone.

 

1. Work Out the Root Cause of Your Fear of Loneliness

 

Some scientists believe loneliness is a basic emotion on a par with fear and anger. For millions of years, survival relied on being part of a group; being alone was risky. But now, a fear of loneliness can keep us in toxic relationships, unfulfilling jobs, and bad marriages. Identify what’s behind your fear of loneliness, and you can start to work on it. 

2. Learn to Understand your Loneliness

 

Loneliness comes in many different guises. It can be temporary situational loneliness where you find yourself without company or help. Or you can be going through a life crisis that results in more extended social isolation. A relationship breakdown, losing your job, or being seriously ill can all make you feel completely cut off from love and support. 

 

3. Appreciate Solitude

 

Solitude is quite a different state from loneliness. Artists, philosophers, and writers over the centuries have sought out solitude to think deeply and widely and to create their best work. Solitude can be a comfort in an overcrowded life. When you are by yourself, you can expand into being your true self. 

 

4. Confront your Deepest Fears

 

Loneliness can be a product of the fundamental fear of separation that goes back to infancy. Separation means being vulnerable, having no one to rely on except yourself. This is the loneliness that realizes that in the end, there is nothing between you and the stars, no one to rescue you. That sort of existential fear can be scary. What are your deepest fears about being lonely? Identify them, acknowledge them, and take away some of their power over you. 

 

5. Use Self-Actualizing Practices to Overcome Loneliness

 

Techniques like yoga, tai chi, and meditation can help you reconnect with your deepest self. Sitting alone in meditation separates you from the negative thought spirals and feelings that can make you feel so miserable. 

 

A loving-kindness meditation practice can help you replace feelings of separation with feelings of love and connection. Give it a try:

 

• Sit quietly and focus on your breath. 

• Breathe in, think ‘May I be happy.’

• Breathe out, think ‘May I be loved.’

• Breathe in, think ‘May all my suffering be healed.’

• Breathe out, think ‘May I be at peace.’

 

Eventually, repeat the mantra, thinking of people who may be lonely at this time, replacing ‘I’ with ‘you.’

 

Finish by sending positive thoughts to all beings and repeating ‘May all beings be happy. May all beings be loved. May the suffering of all beings be healed. May all beings be at peace.’

 

This simple practice helps you feel connected to all of life whenever you do it.

 

5 Ways to Ensure Loneliness Doesn’t Turn into Depression

Everyone feels lonely from time to time. It’s a normal part of the human experience. But some people are more vulnerable to slipping from loneliness into depression. Or there can be hard times in your life when feeling lonely is only one step away from isolation and depression. 

 

People who are at risk of depression typically feel isolated and lonely; they have low self-esteem that can easily tip into more extreme feelings of self-blame and guilt, even self-disgust. And these negative thought patterns can lead to full-blown depression. If you’re having bad feelings about yourself, feeling lonely and worthless, here are some things you can do to head off the risk of depression. 

 

1. Boost Your Social Support Network

 

Isolation increases the tendency to self-blame. Connection and social contact can go a long way to helping you alleviate your loneliness and get a different perspective on the world. Reach out to friends, colleagues, and family to increase the positive connections in your life. 

 

2. Practice Mindfulness

 

Mindfulness helps you deal with what is in front of you right now. Developing a mindfulness practice can help you accept your thoughts and feelings without judgment. Simply by observing what is happening around you, focusing on what you can see, hear, feel, smell, and taste will help you break out of your negative thought patterns. 

 

3. Practice Self-Compassion

 

People who are caught up in feelings of negative self-worth are often extremely hard on themselves. Allow yourself a little imperfection. Be kind and change that internal monologue to one less punitive. 

 

4. Change Your Self-Talk

 

Have a look at your internal soundtrack. Are you full of self-recrimination? Do you magnify your flaws and faults? Now, would you talk to a friend like that? Rewrite that script into something more positive and self-affirming. If that is too hard to think about right now, try some of the books, apps, or websites that offer affirmations.

 

5. Use Emotional Reappraisal to Boost Your Self-Esteem

 

With a little practice, you can learn techniques to regulate your feelings and turn your self-esteem around. Depression often manifests in ruminating on the negatives in your life. You can use this focus to your advantage when you practice reappraisal.

 

Reappraisal is a cognitive-behavioral technique that allows you to reframe negative thoughts, flipping them to a more positive view. Instead of feeling paralyzed and crushed by life, you can take back control and develop more resilience. 

 

7 Types of Loneliness According to Psychologists

Loneliness is something you can’t avoid in life. There will be times when you feel lonesome, and you can live a happier life if you learn how to deal with it when it happens. To make that an easier process, psychologists have identified seven different types of loneliness.

 

1. ‘New Kid’ Loneliness

 

Like being the new kid at school, there are times in your life when you’re in a completely new situation. Whether it’s a new job, a new city, or a new school, you’re likely to feel lonely in the beginning.

 

2. Not Fitting in Loneliness

 

This is the loneliness that strikes when you feel different from the people around you. You may be an introvert in a team of extroverts. Maybe your values aren’t shared with the people around you. You feel separate and different. 

 

3. Lack of Romance Loneliness

 

When you don’t have a partner, it can seem like everyone else in the entire world has a significant other. Or maybe you do have a partner, but you feel disconnected. That’s lonely. 

 

4. Missing a Pet Loneliness

 

There’s no company like that of your pet. Maybe you’re missing your dog, cat, or gerbil. Pets can provide a special connection, and when it’s not there, you really miss it. 

 

5. Too Busy for Me Loneliness

 

There are times in your life when it feels like you’re not a priority for anyone. People get busy with their own lives and leave you feeling stranded and alone. 

 

6. Toxic Fringes Loneliness

 

Worse than busy friends are toxic ‘friends’ who get their energy from belittling you or making you feel inadequate. If you don’t feel supported by your friends, or you feel you can't really trust them, they are not good friends to have in your life. 

 

7. Lack of Company Loneliness

 

Sometimes loneliness can come simply from not having anyone to hang out with. Someone just to share space and be with. It doesn’t matter if you’re busy at work or are out partying every night. A lack of a quiet presence can make you feel deeply lonely. 

 

Once you've worked out what type of loneliness you’re feeling right now, you can take steps to address it. For example, if you’re missing having an animal in your life, you can adopt a pet or volunteer at the local animal rescue center. 

 

Make time in your life for meaningful relationships, not the ones that don’t feed your soul. Look for people you share values or interests with, and slowly you will make connections that will banish loneliness. 

 

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The Worst Kind of Pollutants Are The Ones You Can't Detect Physically

"To see is to believe." How many times have you heard that saying? Unfortunately, a lot of people have made that statement their life's mantra. In their minds, as long as they cannot empirically perceive something, then it doesn't exist. Well, I don't want to bring back nightmare memories of you back in high school or college philosophy class, but do you remember your professor asking this classic philosophy question? 

 

If a tree falls in the woods and no one was around to hear it, did it really fall? This is one of the most basic philosophy questions, because it goes straight to the heart of our conception of reality. The obvious answer, of course, is yes. If a tree fell in the woods, and we know what a tree is, and we know how falling works, and we know that falling often involves some sort of vibration in the air, and we know that vibration in the air can be perceived as sound, then the answer is a resounding yes. 

 

In other words, reality operates according to certain rules that don't change regardless of perception. I want you to wrap your mind around this truth, because when thinking about detox. Believe it or not, the worst kinds of pollutants in your life are not the ones you can detect physically. 

 

They go beyond your drug test. They go beyond the alcohol level in your blood or breath. They go beyond your x-ray. They go beyond any kind of test that involves the human sense of sight, hearing, smell, touch and taste. In other words, the worst kinds of pollution are mental, emotional, and spiritual. 

 

Why are they necessarily worse? Well, what if I told you that regardless of what physical shape you're in, if your mind is in the right place, you will be able to do things that you previously felt you were incapable of doing. This happens all the time. People who have serious physical limitations are still able to do what they want to do, because they have the right mindset. 

 

That's how powerful your spiritual self is. If you're completely honest with yourself, it makes everything in your life possible. Your choice of clothing, your physical shape, your overall health, your lifestyle, all of those began as choices, and where do you think choices come from? They start out with an idea which is processed through your mindset. 

 

This is stuff that you cannot see. But just because they remain locked within the deep confines of your consciousness doesn’t mean they have an effect. You find yourself going around in circles unable to do much about the patterns you constantly find yourself living out. Talk about feeling trapped. This is not the way to live. But, if you are stuck within this type of life pattern, you feel there’s not much you can do about anything in your life. It’s as if you are bound to repeat the same bad decisions over and over again. 

 

Unlock the power of holistic detox to finally resolve your issues in a deep and meaningful way. Learn to revolutionize your life, because it can change how you view yourself, your connection to the universe, and your personal purpose. Please understand that deep personal detoxification starts with one idea. 

What Is Spiritual Detox And Why Do We All Need It?

Usually, when you mention the word spirituality, people start to get nervous. I'm sure you don't need me to remind you that spirituality is a fairly touchy subject in our day and age. After all, personal autonomy is our number one value, and anything that we feel impedes or limits that sense of personal autonomy, is problematic. 

 

Either we're suspicious of it, dismissive, or we oppose it. It is something that we view as a problem. While most of us are perfectly okay with other people being spiritual, we definitely have an issue with others imposing their spirituality on us no matter how subtle it may be. 

 

Indeed, the whole concept of spirituality is some sort of philosophical landmine, and I'm not just talking about the West. With that said, please understand that human beings have a spiritual element. Now, that spiritual element is not going to go away just because you don't believe it. Just because you can't measure, just because you can't reduce it into numbers, or some sort of x-ray diagram, or some sort of MRI scan, doesn't mean it doesn't exist. 

 

If you don't believe me, look at your life. Look at the situations in your past when you had a different purpose. Look at what you were able to achieve because you felt you had a certain purpose, or lacked purpose. Now, compare that with other periods in your life when you were animated by a different purpose. Do you see the difference? 

 

It may seem immaterial, it might even seem foolish, but a sense of purpose can go a long way. You have to understand that the big challenge of life is not so much how to figure out what to do and how to do things, or when to do them, and who to do it with. Those are the technical details. Most of us are smart enough to be able to figure those out. 

 

The real challenge in life is why we do things. What is it about that certain activity that enables us to try again and again despite all the discouragement, failures, and setbacks that life throws our way? In other words, it's all about purpose. Because let me tell you, you can tell somebody what to do, and they probably won't perform as well compared to how they would do if you gave them a sense of meaning. 

 

They will find the strength they need to keep going despite the challenges and setbacks. How come? They're moving purposefully. They know that they are not just wasting their time. They know that somehow, someway, they're not just chasing their tail. They know that they're working for something bigger and better than themselves. They are working for something more meaningful. 

 

That's the difference, and that truth highlights the power of spirituality in our lives. It also highlights the fact that this spirituality is often crushed, distorted, deformed, if not seriously compromised. How come? Spiritual toxins. Believe it or not, were surrounding ourselves with toxins that eat away at our sense of purpose. They eat away at our ability to turn our ideas into things that we can see, touch, taste, smell, and hear. 

 

They eat away at our ability to claim and shape the reality we want for ourselves. The human being is the most powerful creature in the universe, and the problem is most people are all too content to live their lives like worms, or slugs. Tragic, no? Adopt a powerful spiritual detox program that would enable you to unlock your full potential and revolutionize your life!

 

The Three Most Common Forms Of "Invisible Non-Material Pollutants"

When people think of pollutants, they think about chemicals, radiation, or even rocks being thrown in a stream. No matter how natural or unnatural the pollutant is, at the end of the day, most people define pollutants in purely physical terms. This really is too bad because the real pollutants that we have to worry about in our lives are not things that we can detect. 

 

Think about it, if you can detect something, you only need to look at a sign. You only need to come prepared. Maybe you would have to wear a hazmat suit. Maybe you would have to wear a biohazard "hot suit." That's pretty much the long and short of it. 

 

But the problem is the most dangerous pollutants in our lives are things that we cannot see. These eat away into our sense of purpose. These pollutants and toxins distort our sense of personhood. They change our mindsets in dangerous ways. No matter how you define, and regardless of the angle from which you look at these issues, it's bad news. But if you're still unclear, here are the three most common forms of invisible non-material pollutants. 

 

The sooner you let go of these, the better your life would be. If you're feeling stuck, frustrated, desperate, or simply depressed, maybe it's because you've exposed yourself to these invisible non-material pollutants. Just because you can't readily see them, doesn't take their danger away.

Spiritual pollutant #1

Constant comparison 

 

When you are constantly comparing your looks, your wealth, your physical traits, your personality, or anything else to somebody else, you are polluting your mind. You’re filling your life with junk and you will eventually have nothing to show for it. 

 

You spend a tremendous amount of mental and emotional energy going through the comparison, but you know full well that the outcome is all too predictable. The outcome is you lose. The reason why people compare themselves in the first place, is because they're comparing something that they don't have to something that somebody else has. 

 

They're being envious, but they do it through comparison. Still, it all leads to a sense of inadequacy. You obsess more about the things that are missing in your life, instead of the things that are going right. 

 

Spiritual pollutant #2 

Desiring

 

The Buddha said that the root of all human suffering is desire. There's a lot of truth to this. When you spend a tremendous amount of your time coveting or designing things that other people have, what are you doing to yourself? 

 

First of all, you are reminding yourself, yet again, that you feel that your life is somehow, someway deficient. There is something missing. There is something incomplete. There is something wrong with your life. Do you think any of this is empowering? Of course not. 

 

The second thing that you do when you're constantly desiring is that you are directing energy from creation to envy. Envy is not creation. You're not building something. You're not focusing your creative powers to where it should go. You're not planting. Instead, you're thinking about stealing. You are thinking about how you've been left behind because somebody has the things that you desire. You're beating yourself up. 

 

Spiritual pollutant #3 

Regret

 

One of the worst ways we can spend our time is to focus on the past. The past already happened. It already hurt, it already cut, it already did a number on us. Why do you want to keep reliving it? Now, a lot of people tried to play games with themselves and say, "Well I try to remember because I don't want that traumatic event to happen again." Well, fair enough. 

 

But the problem is when you pay close attention to what you're actually doing, when you're remembering things from the past and compare with what you're actually feeling, you're not learning; far from it. Instead, you are reliving the memory because you're trying to do something about it, without doing something about it. 

 

I know it sounds stupid, because it is. That's like trying to change the weather by walking around and chewing gum. There's no logical connection. Just because you feel bad about your ex-girlfriend, doesn't mean that all this negative emotional energy and catharsis is somehow, someway going to change her. She's moved on, she is living her life. It's high time you lived yours. 

 

Overcome the power of spiritual pollutants in your life so as to change the direction of your life. If you are in any way, shape, or form, feeling stuck, powerless, voiceless, or incomplete, this blog will take your life to the next level. Learn the skills that you need to fully detoxify yourself of the toxins that are holding you back from the kind of life you could otherwise be living. 

Three Reasons Why Everybody Needs To Go On A Mental Detox Program

Usually, when people think of detoxification, they usually think of some sort of drug program. They think of people hanging out and staying clear of drugs. Whether it's heroine, crystal methamphetamine, cocaine, or any other drug, the common definition of detoxification is that people simply stay away. 

 

While that's definitely one aspect of detoxification, it is just one small part of the puzzle. There is a bigger picture to concern ourselves with, and the big picture really turns on issues and toxins that you cannot measure. It is very easy to restrict detoxification to physical toxins. These are things that have an odor, weight. They react chemically. They have a certain impact on your blood chemistry. 

 

But if you really want to detoxify yourself, you have to look at the mental level. What you choose to think about in a moment-by-moment basis, plays a bigger role in your life's outcomes than you care to realize. In fact, even if you were subjected to the worst form of physical abuse and physical contaminants, you can still manage to do well, as long as you have your wits about you. 

 

As long as you have the right mindset and the right perspective, things will fall into place. Sooner or later, you will find yourself where you need to go. That's how powerful your mental state is. And unfortunately, so many people turn a blind eye to this. They take it for granted, and that's why their lives are full of mental toxins that hold them back, and drag them down, and keep them from the kind of life that they should otherwise be living. Here are three reasons why you should go on a mental detox program. 

Reason #1

Say goodbye to the past

 

The past is the past. The past is made up of facts that happened a while back. Whether it's yesterday or 10 years ago, or 20 years ago, it doesn't matter. It's not happening right here, right now. No matter how bad you feel, and no matter how pumped up you are, you are never going to change the past. Those facts happened. 

 

Your father walked out on your family. Your mother slapped you around. You did drugs. Your girlfriend cheated on you. Your boyfriend treated you like garbage, and on and on. Those things happened. What can change is how you interpret the past. That's the only thing you can do. Instead of allowing your past to get the better of you, today, you can start changing how you respond to it. You can start changing how you process that information. 

 

It no longer has to make you feel like a prisoner. It no longer has to make you feel small, voiceless, and impotent. You can turn things around, because it's all a choice. Is this easy? Absolutely not. Is it quick? Of course not, but it's also absolutely necessary. And the worst part to all of this, is that only you can do it. Not your parents, not your lover, and definitely not your boss, you have to step up. 

 

Reason #2 

You gain perspective 

 

When you're so focused on the things that you think should be important in your life, you end up, sooner or later, going around in circles. You put in all this time, effort, and energy trying to get things to happen in your life, but it seems that somehow, someway, you always end up in the same place. This is not an accident. In fact, it is to be expected. How come? You don't have a plan. 

 

When you try to get from point A to point B, and you don't have a map, much less a compass, how are you going to get there? When you let go of mental toxins, you start developing an appreciation for direction in your life. Sooner or later, you become more efficient in choosing the right path for yourself. 

 

Things that happened in the past no longer have a hold on you because now, your map is in the present moment. All that matters is the moment happening right now. You are able to maximize your personal focus and willpower on the things playing out right now. Accordingly, you are able to direct the present to the future you want for yourself.

Reason #3

Mental detox leads to better self-love 

 

I'm sorry break this to you, but you have to love yourself. You have the ultimate responsibility of loving yourself. No matter how much your partner says he or she loves you, it will never match the love you can give yourself. Please understand that for you to love others, you must first learn to love yourself. By the same token, for you to be able to respect other people, you must first begin with a fundamental understanding of self-respect. 

 

You can only give what you have. If you don't respect yourself, how can you expect to respect others. The same applies to love. When you do mental detox, you reclaim your ability to love yourself. You no longer are a people-pleaser. You no longer try to live based on other people's expectations. You are no longer live in your life based on some sort of schedule set by other people. 

 

Instead, you focus on what's important and you reclaim ownership over your life. That is real power. That leads to your real identity which leads to real self-love, and when that happens, you are able to love others in real terms. Not in stereotypes, not in formulas, not in any kind of artificial way, we're talking about the real thing. Because ultimately, we know what real love is - it's sacrifice. 

 

In other words, you're willing to let go of your needs just to make somebody else happy. Sacrifice is real love, and unfortunately, most of us don't have that. Most of us deal with toxins that eat away at that self-love, and replaces it with a counterfeit of self-gratification and self-absorption. I don't know about you, the last time I checked, the $3 dollar bill still fake. Nobody is going to take a $3 dollar bill. Stop feeding yourself emotional counterfeits. Go on a mental detox program that can unlock your ability to truly love, truly give, and truly share. You owe it to yourself. 

Spiritual Detox Transcends Religion

Usually, when people hear the word "spirituality" they often associated it with religion. This really is too bad. After all, religion, in our modern times, is one concept many people struggle with. Many even consciously try to run away from it. What if I told you that spirituality and religion are not synonymous? In fact, depending on the depth of your spirituality, whatever it is that you are doing, thinking, and believing may be 180 degrees different from religion. 

 

It's easy to see why religion has gotten a bad rap throughout history. You only need to look at religious wars, the often-repeated charges of intolerance, bigotry, and exclusion, and it becomes as clear as the light of day, why people would rather stay away from religion. 

 

Whether you agree with this or not, and whether this is justified or not, this is the case. It is true that certain religious traditions as well as family customs go a long way in distorting and misrepresenting the tremendous spiritual riches religion could offer. 

 

Maybe some people come from a very specific type of family or cultural tradition. Whatever the case may be, religion can easily become suffocating, repressive, and ultimately discouraging. It's not unusual for a lot of people, come from certain strict religious background, to feel that they have to always suppress themselves. 

 

They have this overwhelming need to always apologize for things. It's as if they're always walking on eggshells. This is the whole atmosphere surrounding religion, and that's why any talk of spirituality is usually distorted because of this background noise. Well, if you have discovered the power of detoxification and you have become interested in spiritual detox, I've got some great news for you. 

 

Spiritual detox goes beyond religion. While it does a good job of clarifying things and cleansing one of the typical hang-ups of old-school traditional, cultural religion, it goes beyond that. Spiritual detox is really all about reconnecting with one's sense of purpose. 

 

While it could be said that all religious and spiritual traditions do focus on the idea of purpose, spiritual detox goes beyond this because it reaches people who couldn't care less about religion. That's right, people who are agnostic, atheist, or humanist can relate to the broader definition of spirituality, which is one's concern with the meaning of one's life. 

 

This is the golden thread that unites all people of all backgrounds. It doesn't matter what kind of religious tradition you grew up in. It doesn't matter what part of the world you come from, we will all come to this question in one form or another, and one level or another. 

 

Spiritual detox enables you to achieve a tremendous sense of balance, because you let go of a lot of unnecessary baggage from you past. These poison your sense of purpose and deaden your sense of possibility and adventure. Formulate the framework you would need to tap the power of spiritual detox, so you can live at the level deserve to live at.