Your Childhood May Have Contributed to Impostor Syndrome

Do you have repeated thoughts you haven’t rightfully gained your job or an award? Do you fear being outed or exposed for not being as talented or enough in your career?

 

Impostor syndrome is a habitual thought pattern, according to PsychCentral, and may stem from your family background. Impostor syndrome can bring on feelings of chronic self-doubt and even a lack of celebration of their achievements. 

 

Imposter syndrome can limit your belief in your abilities, talents, and even accomplishments. This can then lead to increased anxiety and low self-esteem. Many adults live with limiting beliefs because of their family upbringing and often do not know that this is even an issue until later in life. 

 

Where Does Impostor Syndrome Come From?

 

Impostor syndrome can come from receiving praise or acknowledgment for something that you didn’t deserve, and this can directly influence your thoughts into causing feelings of being a phony. There may be a variety of reasons why you battle thoughts of feeling like a fraud or have the feeling of being an impostor in your life. 

 

Impostor syndrome can hinder your self-esteem and even keep you from trying new activities in life. If you frequently battle feelings where you don’t deserve recognition for a job well done, then you could be living with it. It is reported that many individuals are known to have this syndrome without realizing it. 

 

Five Reasons You May Battle Impostor Syndrome

 

There are five common reasons why you may be battling impostor syndrome, such as:

 

• You may have received praise or recognition for something that you did not deserve, such as a blue ribbon for a project when you know you did not do your best.

• You may have been praised for being good in a skill that you actually were not good at just so you would not be left out. 

• You may have never received any type of positive reinforcement for a job well done even though you worked to your best ability.

• You may not feel deserving of something of value because you were told you were not good enough or should have done better regardless of how much effort you put forth.

• Did your family assign you a label such as “the sporty one” or “the smart one” without recognizing other areas you excelled at?

 

These labels or ingrained life lessons could cause you to grow into an adult that suffers from impostor syndrome. 

 

Once you can relate to one or more of these life experiences, you can change your own life. For example, if they labeled you the “smart one” of your family, then you could begin by recognizing a job well done in another area of your life. Perhaps trying out for a sports team or taking part in a community event can be the beginning of self-recognition and the shedding of your impostor syndrome feelings. 

 

Take time to recognize your own achievements, as this can build your self-esteem and help you shed that label.

Deep Breathing to Manage Stress

Sadly, we’re bombarded with multiple stress-inducing factors on a daily basis. From incessant pressure at work to responsibilities at home that never seem to end, life is hard.

 

That said, stressors don’t have to be small things that build up over time. They can also be one big life event that comes out of nowhere and turns your world upside down.

 

Whichever way stress burrows into your life, the problems of dealing with it are the same. Luckily, one technique that’s proven to be successful at managing stress is deep breathing. This calming technique has many benefits besides lowering stress levels, such as improved blood flow and helping you sleep better.

 

So, keep reading to discover how deep breathing can make you healthier, stronger, and less anxious.

 

What Is Deep Breathing?

 

Deep breathing is a technique used to help you achieve inner peace and a sense of calm. The whole point of deep breathing is that it allows you to breathe through your abdomen, rather than the shallow breathing we typically do through our chest.

 

What abdominal breathing does is help control the nervous system by reducing the release of stress hormones. Thus, it encourages the body to calm down and relax, decreasing anxiety levels.

 

Consequently, this enhances your overall well-being. Deep breathing through the abdomen also prevents various illnesses and conditions, like high blood pressure, obesity, and Type-2 diabetes.

 

Moreover, deep breathing helps you focus more on what you’re doing. So, rather than make rash decisions, you can take your time to think things over.

 

How Does Deep Breathing Work?

 

Deep breathing allows you to boost the amount of oxygen in your bloodstream. Having more oxygen means your cardiovascular system works double time.

 

Then, as soon as your brain detects this substantial amount of oxygen in your system, it responds by doing several things. The first of these things is that it reduces the concentration of stress hormones. So, as a result, you calm down, and you become less stressed.

 

Follow these steps to perform basic deep breathing exercises:

 

• First, put your right hand on your abdomen near your navel.

• Next, place your left hand on the center of your chest.

• Some people find it helpful to close their eyes, so you can try that and see if you feel comfortable.

• Inhale and exhale fully a couple of times to shift from chest to abdominal, or diaphragmatic, breathing.

• Next, inhale deeply while focusing on the rising of the abdomen as the lungs fill with air.

• As you do this, it should cause your belly to expand about an inch.

• Then, slowly let out your breath.

• While exhaling, most of the movement should be in the area underneath your right hand. Your chest should only move slightly.

• Each time you breathe in and out, focus on how you feel.

• Repeat anywhere from 5–7 times.

 

Benefits of Deep Breathing

 

When you’re calm and relaxed, you breathe through your nose and take slow, even breaths. But then, something stresses us out, and our ‘fight or flight’ response kicks in.

 

This is when our breathing becomes more rapid and shallow to increase our oxygen supply. More oxygen means more blood rushing to our extremities, allowing us to run for cover or fight for our lives.

 

Yet, in today’s modern world, we neither run nor fight. Instead, we create this imbalance of oxygen and carbon dioxide that has no way of escaping, which affects our health and well-being.

 

Here are a few physiological benefits of controlled, deep breathing:

 

• Lowered heart rate and blood pressure

• Reduced build-up of lactic acid in muscle tissue

• Stronger immune system

• A boost in physical energy

• Reduced levels of stress hormones

• A renewed blanched of oxygen and carbon dioxide levels in the blood

• Increased feelings of calm and relaxation

 

Deep Breathing Tips and Tricks

 

Here are some tips and tricks you can use the next time you’re using the deep breathing technique to help you reverse your stress responses and feel calmer.

 

• The trick to going from chest breathing to abdominal breathing is those first two full exhalations.

• Pushing out the air from the bottom of our lungs creates a vacuum that will allow you to switch to abdominal breath on your next inhalation. Next, pause for a second or two before inhaling slowly.

• The recommended breathing is through the nose. Yet, it takes a while for some people to get used to nostril breathing. So, in the meantime, you can breathe through your mouth until you’re more comfortable.

• Avoid taking more than five deep breaths. More than five breaths make most people feel light-headed. If this sounds familiar, take 2–3 breaths at a time to avoid feeling giddy or off-balance.

Overcome Deadline Stress (Infographic)

7 Tips for Restoring Your Self-Worth After a Toxic Relationship

Well, that didn’t go right.

 

We walk into a relationship with so much enthusiasm. We think what we’ve found is the best thing in the world, which is a heady feeling for while it lasts. Sadly, when a relationship is toxic, we’re frequently the last to know. By the time we escape, our self-worth has already taken a hefty blow. 

 

So, how do you restore positive feelings about yourself after a toxic relationship?

 

Release Your Victimhood

 

The more you focus on what happened, the more you get stuck, so the sooner you can quit revisiting the past and dwelling on perceptions of ill treatment, the sooner you’re going to put all this behind you. This doesn’t mean to say this was your fault, but obsessing about the ‘shoulds’ and going back over every encounter is only going to hurt you regardless of whether you were in the right or not.

 

Drop the Blame

 

Was it your fault? Not. The sooner you can let go of any residual guilt or bad feelings about the relationship, the happier you’ll be. The next step should help.

 

Silence Their Voice 

 

The problem with toxic relationships is you tend to believe what the other person said about you, no matter how outlandish it seemed at the time. Now their voice is there, lurking in your head to remind you of all your so-called shortcomings at every opportunity—time to tell them to shut up once and for all.

 

Embrace the New You

 

Find joy in being single. Spoil yourself. Do that thing you always wanted to do. Take lessons, build your skill set as you build yourself up. Become your own best friend in a way that doesn’t require validation from any outside source.

 

Believe Your Friends 

 

You hear the compliments, but they’re going in one ear and out the other. Rather than brush off the nice things, people around you are saying, start listening. Listening until these words become a part of who you are.

 

Create Goals You Love

 

What would you like to do with your life? Too often, our goals reflect the needs and desires around us. Now is the time to reverse this. Accepting you are capable, and your goals are worth fighting for, what do YOU want to do? 

 

Affirmations

 

Work through the worst offenders of negative self-talk through positive affirmations. Take note of what you’re telling yourself. Rewrite the script and turn these statements around into affirmations that you read to yourself every day.

 

Remember, this is a process and is likely to take time. By reminding yourself of just how amazing you are, and focusing hard on these steps, eventually, you will start feeling the difference even if you don’t see it yet. Hang in there!

 

5 Steps to Shift Your Limiting Beliefs for Good

How are you your own worst enemy? We limit ourselves so much. We live in our heads and come up with all these ways to keep us from getting anything accomplished. Even though deep down we know we're good enough, and how much we're fully capable of getting things done. 

 

The only way to get past these self-sabotaging behaviors is to take active, intentional steps to remedy your thinking. Let's look at 5 steps that will shift your limiting beliefs for good. 

 

Stop

 

Wait a minute; what were you thinking? If a thought feels off about something, it's time to stop and examine this idea much closer. Is this perhaps a self-limiting belief? 

 

Think About What You're Saying

 

Where is the lie in this thought? You've already figured out there's something wrong with it, or you wouldn't be going through this process. This means something about it is not ringing true. When you understand where the lie is, it becomes easier to know how to counter it. 

 

Look for the Proof

 

Is there any proof this self-limiting thought is true? Let's examine the part you feel is a lie. Here's where you need to take a step back from the situation if you can and look very impartially at what's going on. Is any grain of truth in what you're thinking? 

 

Take Control

 

If what you were thinking is a lie, it's relatively easy to counter the false aspects of the statement with the truth. But what if this thought was at least partially true? You start by reminding yourself this isn't always the case. For example, you might be thinking you are always late. Maybe you are, in fact, late sometimes. To perform this step, you would need to recall various instances when you were on time. By countering the lie, you are taking control of the situation, and not allowing the limiting belief to have any sway over you. 

 

Get Help

 

Sometimes it can be challenging to remove limiting beliefs by yourself. In these instances, it can be beneficial to talk to a friend, or even a counselor, to help you see the truth. There is nothing wrong with getting help, especially from someone who is in a position to be impartial.

 

Self-limiting beliefs don't have to control your life. By examining your thoughts, especially those that seem to hold you back, you will find it much easier to move forward toward your goals. Soon you will realize success.

 

Self-defeating, mistaken beliefs are the debilitating thoughts you have about yourself or how you view your relationships with others. They can get so carried away that they lead to panic disorder, anxiety, and depression.

 

Case in point, your beliefs affect everything you do. In fact, every decision you make starts with a belief of some sort because your beliefs are a collection of everything you know to be true.

 

Yet, sometimes what you believe is actually based on false emotions or memories. What do you do then? Is there hope of changing? And if yes, how can we disrupt our faulty belief system and change it for the better?

 

How Faulty Beliefs Affect Everything You Do

 

What you convince yourself to be true ultimately becomes your beliefs. Good or bad, your subconscious mind has complete trust in how you see the world and how you interpret certain things that happen to you in your life.

 

Then, it takes your thoughts and emotions and comes up with a skewed view of how the world works. So, in effect, you’re the one who’s holding yourself back from living a fulfilling life brimming with adventures and lots of happy times.

 

Tony Robbins said it best: “The only thing that’s keeping you from getting what you want is the story you keep telling yourself.”

 

What Are Faulty Beliefs?

 

Faulty, or limiting, beliefs are the opinions and thoughts you believe to be 100% true. They’re so ingrained in your mind because you spend each day repeating them to yourself, like a mantra.

 

Sometimes, you may also blame other people, and the Universe in general, for everything that goes wrong in your life. Why? You’ve convinced yourself that this is your reality through the power of faulty beliefs.

 

However, limiting beliefs are called that for a reason. They stunt your growth as an individual and have a negative impact on the way you go about your personal and professional life. So, you feel stuck, incompetent, and that failure follows you around wherever you go.

 

Where do Faulty Beliefs Come From?

 

On average, faulty beliefs are developed during our early childhood years. According to Dr. Bruce Lipton, the first seven years of our lives are extremely critical because our brains do nothing but soak in everything around them. This is how we form the basis of right vs. wrong, good vs. evil.

 

This is also the time when children who are loved and valued grow up with this inherent belief. Consequently, their relationships with themselves and others stem from that love and self-worth.

 

Sadly, the opposite is also true. Children who are neglected or abused become adults with a deep belief that they’re not worthy of love and affection.

 

Another way to look at it is that faulty beliefs are our way of defending ourselves against frustration, anger, sadness, and other negative emotions.

 

As a result, your subconscious brain tries to block further suffering by altering how you view yourself and the world around you. This manifests itself in many ways, and each of them has a negative effect on everything you do in life.

 

Take a look at some of the negative outcomes that are a by-product of faulty beliefs:

 

· Anxiety

· Conformism

· Imposter syndrome

· Overthinking

· Perfectionism

· Procrastination

 

How to Identify Faulty Beliefs?

 

Let’s be honest, you can’t tell yourself you’re a winner one day, then wake up the following day believing it wholeheartedly. This is a process that takes time and patience. And you have to be willing to put in the work, but it’ll be so much worth it in the end.

 

Step 1: Listen to Your Thoughts

 

The first step in identifying faulty beliefs and self-defeating thought patterns is by really paying attention. The next time that little voice in your head tells you that you’re better off not doing something or having so-and-so, stop and listen.

 

Step 2: Challenge Faulty Beliefs

 

The second step is to challenge these beliefs head-on. When you have a negative thought, hit it back with two positive ones.

 

They don't have to be big or anything fancy. Just think of something that makes you smile and brightens your day.

 

Then, slowly, day by day, you’ll notice that the nagging voices in your head are becoming weaker. They no longer drain your mental and emotional strength because they’ve been replaced by more positive thoughts.

 

Step 3: Develop Healthy Beliefs

 

In order to transform faulty beliefs into something healthier and more productive, you have to know your self-worth. Be proud of who you are and what you’ve accomplished, imperfections and all.

 

Then, armored with self-love and compassion, take one step outside your comfort zone. Think about one thing you try to avoid on purpose, say social interactions.

 

To overcome this fear, you have to commit to engage in a brief, meaningless conversation with one or two people each day. Putting yourself out there can be scary, just as many things in life can be.

 

And remember that it’s okay to be a bit awkward at times. Who isn’t?

 

But strong, optimistic people know there’s more to them than a few minutes of awkwardness. They’re more confident and comfortable in their own skin that they just shrug it off and keep on moving forward.

 

That’s why you have to keep at it. Continue to challenge your faulty beliefs so you can finally start seeing yourself and the world in a more accurate light, where hope and possibilities are within arm’s reach.

 

The Formula to Creating Goals That Help You Improve Your Personal Life

In life, we have a formula to use that helps us to create goals that assist us in improving our personal life. To start these goals however, we must use our inner qualities. The inner qualities include skills, ability to commit, ability to set priorities, ability to accept failure, will to say no, and so on. We have self-awareness, personality and other details within as well that helps us to find ways to improve our personal life. 

 

Once you find your qualities, develop them you'll find it easy to set goals. To get started, consider brainstorming, long-term goals, short-term goals, evaluation of these goals, brainstorming some more, evaluating, and so on. You want to consider managing your time as well. 

 

Be sure to start your plans with short-term goals. The short-term goals should lead up to your long-term goals. Short-term goals should include what you want to accomplish in the next few years. Do you plan to open a business? Do you plan to move? Do you plan to start a new job? Each question will lead you into a good direction as you find answers. For example, I plan to open a business in the next few years. How do you plan to open that business? What business are you considering? How will you get the money to start your business? You have many options, so check your resources, learn new resources and continue building your dreams to improve your personal life. 

 

After you lay out the plans for your short-term dreams, start working toward your long-term goals. For instance, in the next ten years what do you see yourself doing? Use your visions and voices inside to cultivate a plan. Brainstorm your ideas. 

 

To set up long-term plans keep them realistic. Be sure that your long-term goals fall in accord with your short-term goals. For example, if you plan to start a business in the next few years, build upon this dream and plan to become productive and established in the near future. Start saving money to back your plans. You will need to set up a budget that allows you money to save. You have many options so spread your wings and reach for the sky. 

Tips on Goal Setting

 

Are you frustrated when nothing works out in your favor? Do you get depressed when you do not achieve the desired success? When you do not get the results you desire, then you tend to look for tips everywhere that can help you to achieve your goals. Here are some strategies that you can apply to set your goals and get the desired results. 

 

In order to achieve your goals, visualize your dreams and goals. Dreaming your goals will give you the willingness to fetch the goal. Generally, a person who does not dream has no goals in their life. Therefore, dreaming is the start of your realization to your goal. 

 

Think of the steps you can take in order to achieve your goal. Consulting others might help you a little, but ultimately you have to make the decision yourself. This is because you know yourself the best. Others can just guide you on which are the right ways, but you have to know the best way suitable to you to achieve goals. 

 

Next, do not promise anyone but yourself to achieve the goals when you have found the right way to start. Promising others often leads to breaking of promises, but if you promise yourself, then your inner voice constantly reminds you of the promise. 

 

After promising, sketch out a timetable that you wish to follow. However, it is advisable to change the routine when boredom sets in. Changing timetables will give you more energy and a new outlook to start afresh with a positive mind. Moreover, changing timetables also lets you find your previous faults and shows you a better and right way. The timetable should also reflect the time you are taking in doing a certain work. Say, if the timetable says that you have to complete a unit of any subject in 30 days, then you must do so. Time is an important factor when desiring results. 

 

Think of innovative ideas to make your goal achievement process easier. Innovative methods will also give you energy to complete tasks. 

 

Keep optimistic towards your dreams. Optimism plays an important role in getting results. The more optimistic you are, the faster you are likely to reach your goals. An optimistic attitude motivates you to get the desired results and shows you the right way to success. 

 

Finally, be dedicated to the work you do. Dedication can bring a lot of accuracy to your work and make it perfect. 

 

Thus, follow these tips firmly to set your goals and reach the point of success.

 

Understanding How to Improve Your Personal Life

It seems like everyone is searching for secrets to health, wealth and happiness. The catch is if you understand yourself, then you'd have the knowledge to be both successful in personal relationships and in business relationships. Like everything, this begins with a plan. Whether you’re anticipating improving your relationship with your spouse or family member, or moving up the corporate ladder, this is all a result of personal growth. Individual growth starts with doing your best at every moment, in your career, home, or daily activities. Setting goals, no matter how small, enables us to soar to new heights and give us the confidence to accomplish more. 

 

Many times, individuals stay hung up on other people’s expectations on what it is to be successful. Each of us has another idea of what makes us content. It's important to acknowledge that if we spend most of our time and effort trying to reach another person’s goals, then we find ourselves perpetually searching for meaning and continue to be distressed. Recognizing what is important is the first step to improving personal life.

 

Balance is the key to success. Some individuals don't see the concept of success beyond their own needs. Frequently we're caught up in serving a dominant function, which overshadows our natural strengths. This results in stress and imbalance in one’s life. Learning to do things for yourself and your own needs are vital to improving your personal life. If you're always doing for others, and seldom take time out for you, then you're building stress rather than improving life. Your happiness should come first. Finding it hard to say no to others becomes more common and we find ourselves so engulfed by the needs of others. Learning to have an even balance in your life with everything you do and center on what you want is another way to improve your personal life.

 

Putting yourself down perpetually, finding it hard to accept compliments and wishing you are someone else are simple examples that you may be sabotaging your own life. Encourage positive self-talk with yourself and to other people, don't speak negatively about yourself and other people are vital to great self-pride. Understanding that no matter what, you're ok. Improving your self-confidence is extremely important when improving your personal life. This will take putting your positive beliefs in the front of your mind, and day-after-day taking away the negative thoughts. Believing in you is another key to success.

 

Surround yourself around encouraging, not discouraging individuals. If you just make small steps to do these things, you'll already be improving your personal life without realizing it. The key to success is moving forward. You'll need to learn steps to move ahead and stop looking back. Naturally, history is important, yet you want to avoid lingering over past mistakes. Your mistakes are learning tools. Use them, learn from the mistakes, and move ahead. 

 

When you surround yourself with positive influences, it helps you to gain the power of processing your life. You have control over conversation and your community. Take back your control and you will improve your overall personal life. 

 

What Language Do You Speak?

We live in a time of ever-increasing uncertainty and anxiety levels are on the increase. Adults and children alike are experiencing a sense of bewilderment as they try to balance the many things happening in their personal lives and in a world that is experiencing turmoil and disaster on unprecedented levels. 

 

In such a world, it is easy to slip into a language of negativity, yet it doesn’t need to be this way. We can learn to speak the language of optimism and help those around to learn it too. When you learn the language of optimism, you are learning to experience life by embracing and acknowledging the things that go right and shrugging your shoulders, and moving on from the things that go wrong. 

 

Teaching this essential skill to our children is extremely important for all parents, teachers and caregivers to understand and appreciate. As we practice recognizing our own achievements and acknowledging them in the home, we are role modeling to our children the importance of doing their best and then having the pleasure of others and ourselves showing appreciation for the things achieved. A pessimistic perspective however would look at the situation surrounding the achievements and focus attention on them, rather than on the people attaining them. 

 

When a child (or an adult) learns to speak with optimism, they are able to take failure and turn it into potential for growth. Instead of seeing failure pessimistically and dwelling in grief on the cause of the failure, the optimistic person can focus on the failure being a learning curve and will use the opportunity to turn this failure into an opportunity to learn new skills or to develop a new understanding of the way things work. 

 

The optimistic thinker is able to see the problem as a temporary setback, it doesn’t affect their self-worth or self-confidence and they keep trying until they achieve their goals. The pessimistic approach would see this problem as more of a permanent problem Over time, as all problems become “bad or big” , the person eventually begins to see them all in a pessimistic way, gradually losing all sense of self-esteem and self-worth. 

 

Children learn from their parents. They often mimic their parent’s behavior. As you teach your children to become successful and well educated, they will display optimism in their own lives. They will learn to see life from the perspective of self-worth and self-esteem and even if this is over exaggerated, it gives them the hidden courage to say" no" to peer pressure.