Top 5 Relationship Killers that You Must Avoid

 

Relationships are made and broken all around us. At such times, we become apprehensive about our own relationships. We try to protect what we cherish the most. We try to look at ways and means how we can keep our relationship flame burning. However, at the same time, we don’t realize that there are things we may do that can destroy a beautiful relationship. Actually speaking, it is these things—which are mostly behavioral traits—that we need to avoid.

 

Possessiveness

 

It is good to be a little possessive about your partner, but if you are too possessive, then it can only backfire. You shouldn’t, for example, hog all of their free time. You shouldn’t be jealous of the other people they move around with. Give them their life to live; if you are confident about them, you will always remain the most important person in their life.

 

Restrictions

 

Too often, in a relationship, we tend to make people act in the way we want them to act. We tell them to avoid doing certain things they like and do certain things they detest. This is restrictive behavior. If you put yourself in their place, you will find that this kind of behavior can be stifling. A time may come when your partner eventually snaps and walks out.

 

Asking for Change

 

You need to realize that your partner is a different person. They have been brought up in a different way from you and they have a personality that is different from yours. You shouldn’t want them to become like you; it is best if they remain the person they were when you first decided to have a relationship with them. Even if your partner is willing to change, it will be unacceptable to them as well as you.

 

Complacency

 

When you are in a relationship, you have certain obligations. You need to do a few special things keeping your partner in mind. It is not just about remembering their birthday and showering them with gifts, but you also have to give them a good ear when they want it, a shoulder to cry on when they are looking for one and a motivational word when they need it. You cannot let your relationship grow all by itself; it won’t.

 

Competition

 

Even within the staunchest of relationships, there is always an element of skepticism. You shouldn’t do anything to aggravate that feeling. For example, it is best not to be too friendly to other people if your partner is feeling threatened by them. Casual banter is all right, but you need to draw the line with your other people when you are in a relationship with someone.

What Can You Do to Motivate Your Employees?

When you are at the helm of affairs in your workplace, a lot of responsibility lies squarely on your shoulders. You have to be able to motivate your employees, that’s the most important thing that’s expected of you… something that you have to do if you want your organization to progress. 

 

However, there are many leaders who find this to be a very daunting task. Employee motivation is actually never an easy job because there are so many different people involved with so many different mentalities and expectations. But, do not let that stop you. There are always common things that you can implement in order to try and motivate your employees.

 

Here we speak of some things that you can do.

 

Keep Your Requirements Clear

 

When you are assigning some tasks to your team, you have to ensure that you keep your requirements completely clear. It is only when you are able to speak with a clear objective in mind, and when your people understand what you are saying that they can perform as you want them to.

 

Give Them Clear Objectives

 

Why should people work for you? Loyalty and work ethic aside, it is important that these people are given the right incentives. Everyone performs their job in accordance with the salary they are given. But, if someone is doing more than what their job profile tells them to do… which is your expectation of them anyway… then you have to give them the right incentives as well. And you have to make these incentives quite clear. You should tell people what they will get at the end of the day.

 

Express Yourself

 

Employees are always looking forward to receiving feedback. If they do something good, they need a word of appreciation. Do not take this for granted. Appreciation is a very important bonus. For many people, it means more than money. Money is spent and forgotten but the appreciation always lingers. At every opportunity you get, ensure that you give them the right feedback and praise them for the things they have done well.

 

These are three ways in which you can go about employee motivation in the right way. When you motivate your employees, you will find that they work in better spirits and that definitely works better for your organization itself. If you are looking for things like employee faithfulness and trust in the organization, then you simply cannot avoid these three important employee motivation guidelines. 

Remote Connection: 20 Ways To Stay Connected In An Increasingly Remote World (Infographic)

Top 8 Tips for Delivering Your Elevator Pitch at Networking Events

You probably know how important networking is for maximizing your career. But it’s not always enjoyable. You can make networking a whole lot less painful by being prepared and by having your personal elevator pitch rehearsed and ready to go. 

 

Here are eight tips to help you polish your pitch for your next networking event. 

 

1.    Keep it punchy

 

A good elevator pitch should be no more than 45 seconds (yes, the average length of an elevator ride). It should be interesting, memorable, and brief, and you should feel comfortable delivering it. It should sound natural and not like an elevator pitch!

 

2.    Keep it focused

 

You can tailor your elevator pitch to the event. Are you there representing your organization or there to get your next sale or your next job? Keep your two- or three-line pitch focused on that objective. If the person you’re talking to is from the same sector or went to your college, include that to get their attention. If you have an existing connection, you can start to build the relationship there. 

 

3.    Mention your career experience or goals 

 

Be clear about your experience or your business goals. Tell them you’ve worked in 3D printing or horse-breaking for however many years, or that you’re an entrepreneur or a human right advocate. Mention any specializations without falling into jargon and make sure to steer away from too much detail.

 

4.    Mention your qualifications

 

If you have a diploma of jurisprudence or an MBA, mention them. If you’ve just graduated, you can specify your college major. You might want to include any significant achievements, leadership skills, or standout strengths. 

 

5.    Highlight what makes you unique

 

Think of what makes you stand out. Do you speak other languages? Have you worked or volunteered overseas? What unique qualities or experiences make you memorable?

 

6.    Include a question

 

Your elevator pitch isn’t a party piece that just finishes, and that’s it. It’s an invitation to continue the conversation. You should consider including an open-ended question, perhaps asking about the other person’s company or an opportunity to speak again. 

 

7.    Slow down!

 

In your eagerness to get your elevator pitch across, it’s easy to speak too fast or even appear desperate to impress. Remember to breathe, slow down, and smile! Make eye contact and allow the other person to respond. 

 

8.    Practice!

 

Above all, once you’ve written your elevator pitch, you should rehearse and refine until it’s second nature. Practice repeatedly with your partners, a friend, or even your dog. Practice in front of the mirror and observe your expression and body language. What image are you projecting? You want to look calm, confident and engaging. 

Three Rules To Help You Make A Good First Impression

Making a great first impression isn’t always easy, but it’s well worth attempting as much as you possibly can. To help you make it happen more often, here are three simple rules you should always follow. While they are not the only great advice on making a good first impression, they are the things that will have the biggest impact – whether you get them right or wrong. I suggest you get them right :) 

 

Rule #1 – Dress To Impress 

 

Pay attention to what you’re wearing. This may seem very superficial, but that’s what first impressions are all about. They are a first, quick judgment based on things like appearance. Overdress just a little if it’s an important first meeting like going to a job interview or meeting the future in-laws for the first time. 

 

At the very least make sure that what you’re wearing is neat and flattering. Don’t go crazy and when in doubt go for something somewhat conservative. You can always let your personality shine after you’ve made that great first impression. 

 

Rule #2 – Be On Time 

 

Another very important thing to remember is to always be on time. It makes you look prepared and reliable. But there’s another important reason for this. The world is made up of two types of people. The first group is a stickler for time. Being late is one of their biggest pet peeves. The other group has a more looseinterpretation of being on time and doesn’t mind waiting for someone for a few minutes, or being late themselves. 

 

The problem is that you never know what camp the person you’re about to meet will fall into ahead of time. So be prepared and make sure you get there on time or even a little early. It’ll look good no matter how the person you’re meeting will feel about time and it will definitely keep you from making a bad impression with a time stickler. 

 

Rule #3 – Think Before You Speak 

 

Last but not least, think before you speak. It’s easy to get nervous and just prattle on about anything and everything. It makes you look nervous and silly. Even worse, if you don’t think before you talk it’s very easy to put your foot in your mouth. Trust me, I’ve done it plenty of times. It’s not a good feeling and definitely a quick and easy way to ruin that first impression. 

 

The Importance of Listening to Other’s Viewpoints

When you disagree with someone, likely, you don't want to waste your time listening to their viewpoints. Although listening to something you disagree with isn't always fun, it is important to your future for several reasons. 

 

You Will Learn Something New

 

When you take the time to listen to someone else and their viewpoints, you are exposed to thoughts that don't exist in your mind and perspectives you may not have considered before. And even though you may not like what you are hearing, you often learn new things by listening to others. This also helps expand your mind to be more accepting of new thoughts, which could help you be more successful in the future. 

 

Listening Helps You Develop Patience

 

As previously mentioned, being able to sit there and listen to someone you don’t agree with is difficult. You will have to have patience. And if you haven’t already developed the necessary patience for this task, just the practice of listening to others more often will help you to develop it. If you find you are struggling with the task, try to remember you are listening to learn something new. You can also listen with the intent to ask questions. This will help you focus on the words the other person is saying more carefully.

 

You Expand Your Network

 

People love when others listen to what they have to say, it makes them feel important. When you take the time to listen to someone else, even though you may not agree with what they are saying, you make that person feel better about themselves. And this can help you make a new friend or connection. This can help you on your path to success in the future as you never know when you may need to know someone in a certain field or area of study. And hey, expanding your network is always a good idea.

 

Overall, listening to someone else who has an opposing viewpoint from yourself will never be an easy task. But when you resolve to listen to someone else, this helps teach you new things and further develops your patience. Not only that, but it also helps you to grow your network which could provide unmeasured value to you in your future. Thus, it's time to learn how to listen to others sooner rather than later if you want to succeed in life. 

 

The Top Five Traits of a Good Listener

If you want to become a good listener there are certain traits and skills you will need to learn. Listening is a great skill to develop and it can improve all areas of your life. People love to talk and are always looking for someone to listen to them. 

• When listening to someone your goal should be to understand their point of view. Listen to everything they say before forming your own opinion, and remember that you do not necessarily have to agree with them. Everyone deserves, and should form, their own opinions on various topics. 

• Paying attention is the next trait. If you don’t pay attention you will miss out on important information. Always be aware of what is going on with the person who is speaking, and don’t forget to pay attention to your surroundings. 

• The action of making eye contact with the person who is speaking, shows them that you are paying attention. If you start looking around you, you are giving them the impression that you are not interested, or have become bored. 

• Try to look at their point of view and ask yourself if they might be the person who is right. 

• Allow the person to finish talking. This often takes a little patience, but it can be helpful for both sides. First the person talking can vent their opinions or frustrations. Secondly it helps the listener to fully understand the issue at hand. 

A good listener will also think before responding back. Again they often ask what if this person is correct in their way of thinking. People have the bad trait of speaking before thinking and this can lead to all kinds of awkward or difficult situations. 

 

It is perfectly normal for your brain to want to respond quickly, stop yourself and think before you speak! 

 

Sometimes it can be hard to stay focused on a person, it is normal to want to look away. If you find yourself doing this try nodding to the person or making direct eye contact with them. This signals to them that you are paying attention. If you really need to look away for a second, then muffle a cough behind your hand! 

 

Other tips that you might want to use to show that you are paying attention include: 

 

• Saying the person’s name now and again

• Using facial expressions

• Using body language

 

If you make an effort to put these five traits into play consistently, you will become a much better listener for it. 

 

6 Ways to Deal with the Upheaval at Work

If you’ve ever had things fall apart at work, you’re already quite familiar with upheaval at work. It happens every time you get a new boss, or they start making significant policy changes. Though let’s face it, even those small changes in the office can create tension and make it difficult to get things done.

 

Dealing with upheaval at work isn’t hard, though, so long as you keep your head. The next time things get complicated, try these tried-and-true methods to get you back on track.

 

Stop

 

Sometimes the smarted thing you can do in a crisis is absolutely nothing at all. You need to stop and think, as an emotional reaction is going to cost you in the long run. Start by taking several deep breaths and think about what to do next. Not to mention you’ll win some bonus points if management notices you’re the one keeping calm and acting rationally.

 

Stay Positive

 

Getting caught up on the negative isn’t going to help anything. You’ll only spiral down into a cycle of blame and complaints, ending on a lot of finger-pointing or negative self-talk. This is the time to pull out a Pollyanna attitude. Sure, things went wrong, but if you can keep your optimism, you’re more likely to find the opportunity in all of this, which is worlds more productive, not just for you, but for your co-workers as well.

 

Learn from the Situation

 

Speaking of opportunity, any upheaval is fodder for a learning experience if you let it become one. Step back and look at the whole situation rationally. Look for the lessons, and then ask yourself how you can apply them to prevent the next time.

 

Talk to Your Co-Workers

 

At work, you have a rich resource just waiting to be used. Draw on the talents and abilities of those around you. By banding together and brainstorming, you’re more likely to come up with a viable solution than you ever would working alone.

 

Eye on the Prize

 

You have a particular goal in working where you do. Remember this goal now. What can you do at this moment, which will put you back on track toward your goal? How can the upheaval maybe benefit your long-term goal? Now might be the time to act.

 

Expect Disaster

 

Well, of course, things are going to go wrong sometimes. Situations change, and in any workplace, there are many moving parts to keep things going smoothly. By being prepared for the things which could go wrong, you can head off a lot of what might be an upheaval in the making.

 

How to Use 30 Minutes to Stop Worrying

Worry can derail an entire day if you let it. But did you know you had the power to stop it in just 30 minutes of your time, freeing up the rest of the day to really live your life? The answer is more straightforward than you think. 

 

When you become accustomed to worrying, you gain a constant stream of negative feedback and information in your brain. It’s like leaving the TV on to a channel designed to inform you of every worst-case scenario, only personalized to make all those dire predictions all about you.

 

Doesn’t sound like much fun, does it?

 

But by designating 30 minutes every day for worrying and allowing yourself to worry only during those 30 minutes, you gain back your day and your life simultaneously. 

 

You start by setting a ‘worry time.’ Once you have this half-hour firmly in place (put it on your calendar if you need to), you can start kicking every worrying thought to the curb. You tell it, ‘later.” and then refuse to let it near you again until it’s your designated worry break.

 

How do you do this? Try these quick steps:

 

Pick a Time

 

Grab a half hour when you’re not going to be busy. Be careful not to pick one too near bedtime, though, as it might interfere with your ability to sleep.

 

Become Conscious of Your Thoughts

 

Every time you have a worrying thought, tell it to go away until later. If it helps, jot the worry down somewhere, so you have a list to look at during your break.

 

Use a Timer

 

Worries can very quickly take over as much time as you give to them. By setting your timer to 30 minutes, you’re keeping control of just how much time you’re going to spend worrying.

 

Record Your Thoughts

 

Either write down your worries as you think about them, or if you like, journal about your thoughts during this time. Be as detailed as you like. This might also be an excellent time to examine your worries, to figure out if there’s a recurring pattern or theme. Dig down into the heart of what’s really troubling you.

 

Stop When the Timer Goes Off 

 

At the end of 30 minutes, you’re done. Any new worries now have to wait until tomorrow. Close the journal, throw away the paper, do what you need to close off the worrying for the day.

 

Repeat

 

Do every one of these steps every single day for at least two weeks. Why? Because it takes time to form a habit, which is what you’re really trying to do here. 

 

In the end, you’ll be amazed at how much freer you feel when you realize you don’t have to worry all day long. You’ll sleep better at night and be much more productive during the day. Not bad for an investment of only half an hour.

Don't Let Disagreement Ruin a Relationship

Relationships are never easy, and, likely, you and your partner don't agree on everything under the sun. This is natural, and every couple deals with this. However, you want to be careful not to let disagreements ruin your relationship. So, what is the best way to keep this from happening? 

 

Don’t Avoid Arguments

 

When you know you and your partner don't agree on something, it can sometimes seem like a good idea to avoid the argument completely. For example, your partner will ask if something is okay with you and because you don't want to upset them with an argument - you lie and say you are feeling fine. This lying is not the solution because now your partner has false information about the relationship that they may use to make future decisions. These decisions will only cause future problems rather than just answering honestly and resolving the issue right now.

 

Never Let Your Agreements Get Personal

 

You've seen it in a million TV shows, the couple is arguing over who needs to do the dishes, and then one of the parties brings up an unrelated incident that happened months before that they are still upset about. Getting too personal transforms the argument into an attack of the person's character and makes it much worse than just the incident at hand. When this happens in an argument with your partner, you must realize that this is no longer a constructive argument and needs to end before someone's feelings are hurt. 

 

Agree to Disagree

 

Suppose you notice that an argument between you and your partner is beginning to escalate to the point where someone could say something that hurts the other person's feelings or could damage the relationship permanently. In that case, it's time to agree to disagree. 

 

Despite what people may think, agreeing to disagree is a resolution to an argument. And by employing it in an argument you are having with your partner, it is the same as saying you respect their opinion, but you will never see the same way, so you respect them enough to stop arguing before someone gets hurt. 

 

Overall, it can be difficult not to let a disagreement ruin a relationship. But if it’s a relationship worth fighting for, then always remember not to avoid arguments, don’t let them ever get personal, and agree to disagree if you come to a point where there is no other resolution to the argument at hand. 

 

How Can I Be More Supportive To My Friends?

Sometimes it can be difficult as an adult to know how to support your friends. And honestly, there is no one way for you to support all of your friends. The support you should show to your friends will vary widely on their personality and their unique situation. Below are some of the most common ways you can show support to your loved ones. 

 

Make Time For Them

 

As humans grow and change, they tend to have less and less time for their friends. This is why, when you make time for your friends, it shows that you truly do love and support them. This doesn’t mean you have to clear your calendar, but maybe you invite friends along to certain activities or cancel that one thing you don’t need to do so you and a friend can grab a quick coffee after work. 

 

Listen

 

You’ve heard it time and time again, but listening is truly the best way to support anyone who may be in your life. Humans need to let go of their emotions through communication. And sometimes, just listening is enough to make the person who is venting feel supported in their endeavors. 

 

Push Them And Celebrate Their Achievements

 

Whatever your friend may be pursuing, if they confide in you that they need your help, now is the time for you to give them a little push! Maybe they are tired and don’t want to go to the gym. You could offer to go with them or help remind them of a goal they made. And when they get out of bed and complete the task they felt they couldn’t do, you should be celebrating this achievement with them. You may be surprised at how far a simple “good job” can go! And if they conquer a big goal, you should make an effort and offer to celebrate with them! After all, a true friend is ecstatic when their friends may big steps in life!

 

As you age, it can become increasingly difficult to know how to support your friends. But don’t fret, as long as you make time for them, listen, and then help push them towards their accomplishments, this will help them feel supported! And if they accomplish something big, you should be just as happy for them as you would be for yourself, as this will truly show your support for all of their endeavors in life. 

5 Things I Learned From Overcoming Conflict

Conflicts are a normal part of life and they tend to happen in virtually every setting. Oftentimes, we avoid conflicts because they make us tense and anxious.

 

They bring up a lot of self-doubt and discomfort, which typically results in raised voices, increased heart rate, and saying things we don’t really mean.

 

Even worse, it leads to feelings getting hurt and, sometimes, to relationships being destroyed. No wonder we hate conflicts!

 

That’s why learning how to resolve conflicts peacefully can be life-changing. In fact, the more we expose ourselves to conflicts, the better we handle any situation, which helps us become more resilient.

 

So, to help you address conflicts the right way, here are five things I learned from overcoming conflict.

 

Teaches Us to Respect Other Viewpoints

 

The reason there’s a conflict in the first person is that there are two opposing viewpoints. But most times neither side gets heard properly, which leads to an altercation, even escalating to major problems.

 

This is why negotiations are so important, even if you’re confronting a loved one. It shows that we’re willing to be flexible and more open to accept the other person’s opinions.

 

That doesn’t mean you have to agree with them. It just means you have to be willing to learn how to be prepared to accept them and move on.

 

Gives Us a Chance to Verbalize Our Needs

 

People often take for granted who we are as individuals, even those closest to us. This stems from our lack of verbalizing what it is we want or need.

 

So, we carry grudges and bottle everything inside until we can’t take it anymore. That’s when conflicts arise.

 

The best thing you can do for yourself is to look at conflicts as an opportunity. It gives you the chance to voice your opinions and share your feelings. As a result, you become less fearful of asking for what you need.

 

Improves Our Communication Skills

 

Being a good communicator requires patience and self-control. As with most things in life, the more you practice good communication skills, the better you become.

 

And the best way to practice is through confrontations, no matter how hard they may seem. Yet, you have to look beyond the fear and be willing to share our thoughts and feelings in a calm, collected way.

 

You’ll quickly realize that the right words just flow out. So, when the need arises, you can prepare for what lies ahead.

 

Makes Us Better Listeners

 

The key to overcoming conflicts is to be a better listener. Many times we're so focused on what we’re going to say next that we don’t really pay attention to what the other person is saying.

 

That’s not the way to successfully win an argument or resolve a conflict.

 

To do that, you have to learn how to do things. First, you have to control your impulse to react and blurt out things haphazardly.

 

The second thing is to learn how to actively listen when someone talks to you. It’s through listening that you can gain a better understanding of the speaker, which enables you to make smarter, wiser choices.

 

Opens Our Eyes to New Ideas

 

One of the ways conflicts can be a useful tool is by allowing you to fine-tune your opinions and ideas. As different thoughts are expressed, how you look at things changes slightly.

 

When you hear someone talking about their viewpoint with regards to a certain topic, you can’t help but clarify your own. You either start modifying your opinion, or you become even more convinced of yours.

 

A third option is to take part of your ideas and part of theirs and come up with a whole new concept!

 

That’s the beauty of conflicts. They allow you to generate new ideas and mold new perspectives.

 

Then, when you realize there are more similarities than differences, you forge a bond. This bond leads the way to establishing trust and enhancing networking. Case in point, it just makes both sides better human beings.